A lump of black tarmac walks into a bar, orders a pint and as the barman is serving him, it says to him “I’m f***ing hard I am.”
The barman looks a little taken aback, but says to him “Really, sir, that’s very nice for you.”
The black tarmac sits down to drink his pint. When he is ready, he walks back up to the bar and orders another pint. Again, the barman serves him the pint and again the black tarmac says “I’m f***ing hard I am.” The barman is finding this stranger still, but again he says “Really, sir, that’s very nice for you.”
This happens a few more times until the door to the pub opens and in walks a lump of red tarmac. Seeing the red tarmac, the black tarmac gets up and runs out of the back door. The red tarmac walks up to the bar and orders a pint.
“That’s strange,” says the barman, “we had a lump of black tarmac in here just now.”
The red tarmac replies menacingly, “Really? Where is he now?”
The barman has a look round but can’t see the black tarmac anywhere.
“Oh, he must have gone,” he replies, so he serves the pint and the red tarmac sits down to drink it.
The barman goes outside to collect some glasses and finds the black tarmac hiding under one of the tables shaking. “Hey!” says the barman. “What are you doing there? I thought you were f***ing hard.”
The black tarmac looks at him and says:
“Course I’m hard, but that red tarmac – he’s a – a f***ing cycle path!”
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