Family Liason Police Officers

[RoundWight]

I was wondering if anyone else has been unfortunate enough to find themselves on the receiving end of the services of Family Liason Officers?
Personally I found their entire treatment of my partner's death in a hgv collision, their interaction with me and their method of transferring and digging for information incredibly insensitive and inappropriate.

Not only did they, on the day after it happened, bluntly tell me all the gory details of the collision - having not really prepared me and without really assessing if it was a good idea to give me these details at this early stage - they then proceeded to press me for answers to various questions relating to the trial (that I had not said I wanted to be a part of). After this, and before leaving me they gave me a ridiculous booklet entitled 'Information and Advice for bereaved families and friends following death on the road in England and Wales'. DEATH on the ROAD. Reading these words now isn't too problematic, but closer to the time, and having just been told all about the reality of hgv/cyclist collisions I found the title of the booklet horrifically blunt.

In the next month or so, one officer in particular continued to press me for information via phone and email (information that he could have got from other people who knew the cyclist, who would not be quite so affected by the death). This, also, I thought was inappropriate and really unhelpful to my grieving process. As were the unwanted details given out at the beginning.

I don't know if this is just me, but I think someone should be thinking more about how Family Liason Officers are interacting with recently bereaved people. if they aren't already?

Thoughts?

 

[summerdays]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss of your partner in such dreadful circumstances.

I haven't had that experience and hopefully most on here won't have - have you thought about providing feedback to the police on how you felt it was dealt with and what they could potentially have done improve the experience for you at such a dreadful time when you feel you are able to. I can only assume that in trying to press you for information that he was trying to increase their chances of a conviction. Equally I don't know whether a conviction helps with the grieving process especially if you feel the sentence doesn't reflect the fact that they took a life of someone very precious to you.

I would consider contacting the police to let them know how you felt about the process - I would do it in writing myself - as I know that I would be unlikely to explain myself fully without becoming very emotional.

 

[RoundWight]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss of your partner in such dreadful circumstances.

I haven't had that experience and hopefully most on here won't have - have you thought about providing feedback to the police on how you felt it was dealt with and what they could potentially have done improve the experience for you at such a dreadful time when you feel you are able to. I can only assume that in trying to press you for information that he was trying to increase their chances of a conviction. Equally I don't know whether a conviction helps with the grieving process especially if you feel the sentence doesn't reflect the fact that they took a life of someone very precious to you.

I would consider contacting the police to let them know how you felt about the process - I would do it in writing myself - as I know that I would be unlikely to explain myself fully without becoming very emotional.

Yes I plan to contact the police about this at some point. I thought before I did this I might try and find out if this was a common experience, or if my case was just a particularly bad one (or if I'm unusual in how I responded). Good point about doing it in writing.

Personally, I and my partner's family have not wanted to have any part in the trial and possible conviction. I just don't think it's helpful - it won't bring him back, and even if the driver was to blame, I find I'm not really that interested in convicting him. It just seems like a way to dwell and drag out the worst moment of my life. I don't know how others have felt about this? I realise other people may find this helpful, but none of us thought it was something we wanted to be involved in. (We definitely did not want to watch the cctv footage that the police were very eager to tell me was available! I can't imagine anything more harrowing!).

As well as this, I'm of the view that it's not individual truck drivers who are responsible for the deaths of cyclists, but the fact that hgvs and cyclists are sharing the same road, which has poor provision for cyclists. But this is something I haven't wanted to think about until quite a period of time after the collision.

 

[wafflycat]

As others have said, give the police your feedback. Written would be best IMO.

I'd suggest that everyone reacts differently to such a death in the family. The way you reacted is right for you and that should have been picked up on. That you didn't want to know the details should have been respected. Another person may want the details, but we're all different. What should happen is that the way you are given information should completely respect your feelings. If you don't want to know, then that should be respected.