Saturday came and Saturday went....
Train from home to Gatwick Airport where I met up with MattJ and used Dellzeqq's patented Gatwick Airport escape route to join the B road to the east. We twiddled our way over to Dormansland for 07:50, legs nicely loosened by the warm morning sun and off we went. Almost immediately we missed a turn (not on the route card we'd cut n pasted from the Hell of Ashdown website) and continued on blissfully unawares eventually hitting the A264 on the outskirts of East Grinstead rather than considerably further east as planned. Ho hum we said and turned ourselves around. Back to Dormansland, back on route past the delightful Furnace Pond and over to Holtye Common. Cross country to Hartfield and a bit of a climb up Gallipot Hill took us to Colemans Hatch and the dreaded climb that is "The Wall". My joy was almost unabated when I scalped the younger fitter slimmer of the two cyclists we saw in front of us as he honked on his high end Spesh Allez. The sight of me twiddling past whilst seated on a tourer was almost more than he could bear. MattJ set off in pursuit of his mate and apparently said mate's face was a picture when told we were heading, ultimately, to Biggin Hill far to the north of the current climb on which we were heading due south. The Wall duly, if sweatily breached, the down hill followed as night followed day. Far too much loose stuff and too many pot holes to really let rip but 62khp, sans pedalling, was attained to put a smile on my face. Somehow we misplaced Groombridge where we had intended to stop for a coffee and ended up on the Col de Groombridge where once again age defeated beauty as Matt (20 years younger than me) launched off the front with the zest of an English Contrador to gain the summit in advance of me. I'd set my goal as one of not using the granny ring on my triple and I'm pleased to say I stuck to it all day and managed most of my climbing seated; albeit at a slightly slower lick than young Matt.
Crossing the A264 again, and now heading north we entered the 'gentle' undulations of the Weald by way of Langton Green and all points north. We speculated on the idea of an early (pub) lunch at Ide's Hill but were frustrated by our arrival there at 11:30 with the pub doors firmly shut. The tiny village shop took our custom instead and a lovely hour was spent in the sun on the green, munching sarnies, and drinking water and watching the world, and several cyclists, go by. The less said about the road to Sunridge the better. Saturday lunchtime drivers rushing to the M25 and a road surface put to shame by bridleways in Sussex made it hard going. Eventually the M25 was crossed and Star Hill loomed. As a hill it is a decent enough climb but the volume of traffic it carries made for one of the less fun ascents of the day, one SAAB estate missed me by millimetres.
Up and over Knockholt and into the loop at the northern end of the route, Church Hill at Cudham? You're having a laugh! But we made it up and over unscathed and the descent into Brasted back over the motorway was frankly awesome and we entered the village bang opposite a great little cafe called 96 degrees. Great place to sit in the sun and stuff yourself with tea and scones and jam.
Toys Hill - to be honest you're not all that. Long yes, but not that steep. So there. The run back to Dormansland via Edenbridge is mainly flat with what climbs there are being right up my street, long, not steep, big ring stomps and we tackled it flat out. Shaking hands at Dormansland the bike computer says we'd done 115km in 5:28 of cycling, with stops it had taken something under 8 hours on the day. Matt decides he will cycle home to Lindfield whereas discretion is it the better part of valour for me so we part company as I stamp on the pedals all the way back to Gatwick where my return rail ticket could stop burning a hole in my pocket.
Hell? In the winter very probably. On a gorgeous July Saturday? Just like heaven.
140km in total (110 in Hell) with 1880m of climbing
Makes mental note to never join a ride with GrumpyGreg 
