Scot on a bike
Regular
(Apologies if already posted, couldn't find in my search)
Cycle lane Lunacy!
- Thread starter Scot on a bike
- Start date
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- Tags
- cycle lane
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(Apologies if already posted, couldn't find in my search)
Accy cyclist
Legendary Member
- Location
- The hills of Accrington
This is a bit easier to see and read.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/a...g-gridlock-pollution-maddest-thing-empty.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/a...g-gridlock-pollution-maddest-thing-empty.html
EnPassant
Remember Remember some date in November Member
- Location
- Gloucester
craigwend
Grimpeur des terrains plats
Daily Mail / Daily Mash which one is the spoof ...
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/cyclists-to-create-bike-themed-superstate-201105123805
Cyclists to create bike-themed superstate
12-05-11
PUSH bike devotees are scheming to subjugate the Western world to their deity Shimano, it emerged last night.
For it is written
Cycling has become increasingly prevalent in recent months, despite being shoot, triggering speculation those devoted to the hobby must have a more sinister agenda other than very uncomfortable transport.
Tom Logan, Grand Cantilever of the Guardians of Shimano, said: “We have now achieved Objective One of The Pedal Plan – to own the roads through being mildly obstructive.
“With the cars gone, we can zip around everywhere at speeds of over 30mph, garotting non-believers with brake wire.
“Once all dissenters are dead, we will begin to customise our body parts, replacing limbs with wheels, to become more like the mighty Shimano.
“In the new land of Pedallon all will be new and clean and emission-free. Clothes will be made of scrotum-hugging futuristic fabric and the only legal music will be Kraftwerk.”
He added: “If anyone tries to stand in our way, we will knock into them and then pretend it’s their fault.”
Conspirologoist, Dr Helen Archer, said: “The real problem is that they will know very quickly who the non-believers are because when you meet a cyclist it is absolutely impossible to hide your contempt.
“That said, I am not sure if their bike-based society would be better or worse than Clarkson’s being-a-prick-based society.”
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/cyclists-to-create-bike-themed-superstate-201105123805
Cyclists to create bike-themed superstate
12-05-11
PUSH bike devotees are scheming to subjugate the Western world to their deity Shimano, it emerged last night.
For it is written
Cycling has become increasingly prevalent in recent months, despite being shoot, triggering speculation those devoted to the hobby must have a more sinister agenda other than very uncomfortable transport.
Tom Logan, Grand Cantilever of the Guardians of Shimano, said: “We have now achieved Objective One of The Pedal Plan – to own the roads through being mildly obstructive.
“With the cars gone, we can zip around everywhere at speeds of over 30mph, garotting non-believers with brake wire.
“Once all dissenters are dead, we will begin to customise our body parts, replacing limbs with wheels, to become more like the mighty Shimano.
“In the new land of Pedallon all will be new and clean and emission-free. Clothes will be made of scrotum-hugging futuristic fabric and the only legal music will be Kraftwerk.”
He added: “If anyone tries to stand in our way, we will knock into them and then pretend it’s their fault.”
Conspirologoist, Dr Helen Archer, said: “The real problem is that they will know very quickly who the non-believers are because when you meet a cyclist it is absolutely impossible to hide your contempt.
“That said, I am not sure if their bike-based society would be better or worse than Clarkson’s being-a-prick-based society.”
robjh
Legendary Member
- Location
- Cambridgeshire - almost Essex
I love the bit about cycle lanes being poorly used outside rush hour and therefore to be opened up to other traffic at other times - other traffic which will also be scarcer outside rush hours and therefore not needing any extra space.
On that logic I look forward to motor roads being turned over to pedestrians, dog walkers and children's play areas in the middle of the day when there are not enough motor vehicles around to justify them.
On that logic I look forward to motor roads being turned over to pedestrians, dog walkers and children's play areas in the middle of the day when there are not enough motor vehicles around to justify them.
NorthernDave
Never used Über Member
- Location
- The real Northern Powerhouse
I think they've missed a trick.
Last time I was in that there London I noticed a great big river running through the middle of it, but there were hardly any boats on it - so clearly the boatists aren't using it as they should be, despite it being paid for with taxpayers money.
Imagine if they drained that and put a bit of tarmac down, how many extra taxis and vans could get around the place unimpeded? Plus all the extra jobs it would create. OK, it might inconvenience a few boatists, with their silly boating clothes, but it isn't like they pay any river tax is it?
Actually, if you got a straight bit of river and tarmaced it, you could land aeroplanes on it and there would be no need to expand Heathrow would there?
I'm going to write to that Sadiq Khan, that's Londons congestion problems sorted.
Last time I was in that there London I noticed a great big river running through the middle of it, but there were hardly any boats on it - so clearly the boatists aren't using it as they should be, despite it being paid for with taxpayers money.
Imagine if they drained that and put a bit of tarmac down, how many extra taxis and vans could get around the place unimpeded? Plus all the extra jobs it would create. OK, it might inconvenience a few boatists, with their silly boating clothes, but it isn't like they pay any river tax is it?
Actually, if you got a straight bit of river and tarmaced it, you could land aeroplanes on it and there would be no need to expand Heathrow would there?
I'm going to write to that Sadiq Khan, that's Londons congestion problems sorted.
dim
Guest
- Location
- Cambridge UK
cambridge are chopping trees down on Milton road .... new /better cycle path will be built and roads will be wider ... it's a busy road
loads of uproar about the trees
but, my guess is that Cambridge will follow London's example of Congestion Zone .... and they are 'secretly' working towards that
pay extra if you have a car to enter the city. I've also seen more and more people using e-bikes now .... getting fed up about driving to the city, and too frail and old/lazy to ride normal bikes
I live in Great Shelford (a village in Cambridge) .... to drive by car to the city takes nearly 40 minutes in the morning .... sometimes a lot more
to cycle on the cycle path takes 12 minutes .... (I've done in in under 9 min when I felt 'frisky' with a good tail wind)
take a bus and if you are lucky, it takes over an hour to get to the centre if you travel between 8am and 9am plus add the 10 minute walk to the bus stop and pray that the bus is one time (which it is never)
we do have a train station here and the trains are very good, but we are fortunate, as most other villages don't have this
loads of uproar about the trees
but, my guess is that Cambridge will follow London's example of Congestion Zone .... and they are 'secretly' working towards that
pay extra if you have a car to enter the city. I've also seen more and more people using e-bikes now .... getting fed up about driving to the city, and too frail and old/lazy to ride normal bikes
I live in Great Shelford (a village in Cambridge) .... to drive by car to the city takes nearly 40 minutes in the morning .... sometimes a lot more
to cycle on the cycle path takes 12 minutes .... (I've done in in under 9 min when I felt 'frisky' with a good tail wind)
take a bus and if you are lucky, it takes over an hour to get to the centre if you travel between 8am and 9am plus add the 10 minute walk to the bus stop and pray that the bus is one time (which it is never)
we do have a train station here and the trains are very good, but we are fortunate, as most other villages don't have this
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Whilst I'm sure the evil Daily Mail is arguing all sorts of lycra lout kill all cyclists bollocks, I do rather agree that cycle paths are 95% a bad thing. Nearly all make cycling less safe and less conventient quite apart from the clearly comedic ones which can only be a prank surely.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
[QUOTE 4498734, member: 259"]"Back in London, the former Chancellor Lord Lawson went so far in a debate in the House of Lords as to suggest that cycle lanes were doing more damage to the capital than ‘almost anything since the Blitz’.,"
[/QUOTE]
I'm very much on the cycle lane sceptic side but Lawson's twittish hyperbole must be something of a world record. How could you parody that ?
[/QUOTE]I'm very much on the cycle lane sceptic side but Lawson's twittish hyperbole must be something of a world record. How could you parody that ?
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The trouble with the online edition is that you can't wipe your bum with it.
briantrumpet
Legendary Member
- Location
- Devon & Die
But it's still covered in sh!t.
Hitchington
Lovely stuff
- Location
- That London
As a daily user of the Blackfriars cycle route (and the Q1) I'd say it's a great way to get through that part of London. Build more in more cities and suburbs and we'll get even more people on bikes. The Daily Mail can go f*** itself.
