Close Encounters of the Sheepy Kind

[ColinJ]

I'm on one of my frequent trips back to the midlands, keeping my elderly mum company for a few days. She is currently watching a weird tv programme whose bizarre theme seems to be Our team buys loads of tat and tries to flog it for more than the other team's load of tat so I thought I'd take the opportunity to reread some of my old ride reports. I was just having a chuckle recalling this incident which occurred on a century ride round the Trough of Bowland in Lancashire:

• We now had a 'Close Encounter of the Sheepy Kind'. Before you start to worry - not the kind that you can be arrested for! Bill was riding about 50 yards ahead of me along a slightly downhill length of road, which was cut into a steeply sloping hillside. We were probably doing about 30 mph. I saw a sheep standing in the middle of the road ahead. New readers may be unaware of some of my earlier sheep encounters. Let's just say I am now very wary of the daft creatures; they always seem to do what you least expect them to... Bill didn't seem to have quite the same intuitive grasp of sheep behaviour though, as he was proceeding at full speed. The sheep was staring straight towards us, but because of the incredibly underpowered nature of its brain, it didn't seem to register Bill's presence until he had actually swept by. I knew that something was about to happen though so I was already braking in anticipation... PANIC!!!!!! The sheep started trying to run off the road, but at first, its hooves skidded on the road surface so it was running on the spot as if it was on a treadmill in a gym! Then it gained traction and dived off the road on the downward slope, changed its mind, turned through 180 degrees, ran back onto the road, crossed it in front of me, started running up the hillside, found it too steep, turned 180 degrees again, recrossed in front of me, ran off the road onto the downward slope again, lost its footing, tripped and rolled downhill like a big woolly snowball. It finally came to rest against a big rock, leapt to its feet, spotted some extremely delicious-looking grass, and started munching away as if it didn't have a care in the world. Bill had turned and witnessed this with me. We were howling with laughter and had to spend a few minutes composing ourselves before we felt able to continue...

If you are a glutton for punishment, you can find the full ride report and other lengthy ones here.

Do any of you have amusing cycling tales to recount?

 

[gkerr4]

hmm - similar incident on a motorbike out by settle - unprintable speed - made me think...

 

[Globalti]

Same here except that the sheep ran back into the road right in front of a taxi. BANG! Sheep flies up into the air, broken off horn whizzes past my head, sheep crashes to the ground already dead, one shocked taxi driver with a smashed raiator grille.