Best excuse I'v ever heard for a woman getting fat

[Greedo]

One of the girls in the office was showing me a magazine she picked up for reading on the train into work

There was a letter on the problem page.


"I have got a new boyfriend and since I have been going with him the last 6 months I have put on nearly a stone of weight.
He likes having his c0ck sucked a lot and I want to know how much calories are in sperm as I think this is making me fat"

The reply actually said it contained the same amount of calories as 3 raisins!!!

Who worked that out?????????

 

[Davywalnuts]

A stone in fat is what, about 35,000 calories?

So that would work out about 11'666 times doing the deed in 6 months? Or 64 times a day!!!

I think someone been eaten all the cake instead!

 

[Davywalnuts]

Maybe i should not type when hungover and read better, i thought it said 3 calories! Whoops! Back to the calc!

How many calories in 3 raisons?

 

[VinceNoir]

She really needs to stop slavering his cock with Nutella and whipped cream.

 

[Aperitif]

Maybe i should not type when hungover and read better, i thought it said 3 calories! Whoops! Back to the calc!

How many calories in 3 raisons?

depends if it is a raison d'etre I suppose...

 

[TheDoctor]

Lots of calories in nuts IIRC.

 

[Blackandblue]

She really needs to stop slavering his cock with Nutella and whipped cream.

 

[Fab Foodie]

Does it have her phone number?

 

[ChrisKH]

Definitely a "Your Mamma's so fat" punchline in there somewhere.

 

[Over The Hill]

If she went on top she could work off some off the blubber.

 

[redjedi]

Maybe i should not type when hungover and read better, i thought it said 3 calories! Whoops! Back to the calc!

How many calories in 3 raisons?

Apparently it's just over 7 calories in a raison. So that would mean they're at it 9 times a day .......do-able

But if she wants to keep it up , she better learn to spit.

 

[nilling]

I need the name of this magazine so I can buy all the local copies and burn'em - blasphemy!!!

 

[Black Sheep]

on a slightly more serious note,

i'm told that women eat more when they're content = me getting blamed for my fiancee's slight gain, i claim its cos she's not been biking since september

 

[Davywalnuts]

the weight gains due to "nesting" isnt it? Some sort of nethanderal reason if you go all the way back in time. Like, "am in a relatonship, am going to breed, am going to eat to supply warmth and nutrients to my youngens"? Or, now ive got ya in my claws i dont need to impress you much! What then leads to cheating.. Mmmmmm... i need hair of the dog...

9 times a day.. Not being a bird, but knowing whats like to munch through a whole bag of eclairs, sure must get serious jaw ache! And head aches... No wonder she dosent want sex instead...

 

[got-to-get-fit]

what kind of magazines does your friend buy????********ers monthly???