Spinney
Bimbleur extraordinaire
- Location
- Back up north
Why do many of the Astana riders seem to be wearing plasters on their noses?
Like those anti-snoring things?
I would have thought the extra you could get through the nose with those things on would be pretty small compared to breathing through the mouth.
No, they wear them so that they can play shower japes, ripping off each others nose plasters and whipping each other with the ends.Rugby players wear them as well, for extra air.
I'm certainly not pulling any other part of you!Why just Astana though? Or have I just not noticed on other teams?
(I think on balance that Chuffy may be pulling my leg...)
Every little helps.
The mouth won't always be available for breathing too remember, I find it hard to eat and drink on the bike when I'm breathing heavily and a nose thing would help alleviate that (but I don't bother)
It's an aero thing. Most of the Astana team come from a very small village in Afganrugistan. Consequently they are horribly inbred, with strange lumpy faces and huge tufts of nasal hair on the outside. Obviously these nasal hair tufts attract flies as well as offering rivals an ideal opportunity for 'punishment tugs' which are very painful and can result in a rider losing almost his entire face. To get round this the entire team had their tufts shaved off. The sticky plaster strip covers the scar tissue. In fact, such is the loyalty to the team that when Andreas Kloden rode for them, despite not being an Afganrugistan native (and lacking the external nose tuft) he had a tuft specially grafted on before having it ceremonially removed with a mixture of Veet, foot powder and goat dung. During the 2009 Tour Johan Bruyneel had a secret cache of these nose tufts with which he planned to work wicked voodoo on Alberto Contador but Bertie defeated his evil wizardry by riding really fast. Apparently half the field still fear that Bruyneel can turn them into goat zombies, which is why they are all riding away from Scary Scarecrow Lance really, really quickly.
Exactly!Astana wears them because they're paid to, I believe they call it 'sponsorship'.