Aaargh!! Twenty Inch now Forty Inch!!

[Twenty Inch]

Dismay and consternation in Twenty Inch Towers yesterday as I stared at the tape measure. Had someone cut 6 inches off the end? Had I used the wrong end? No and No. My waistline is now really 40 inches, and my weight 97kg – 15st3lbs in old money.

My waist is keeping pace with my age, and I’ve put on 2kg a year since 2000, the year of my athletic highpoint, the Isle of Arran Half-Ironman Triathlon.

Since yesterday afternoon, I now own a bathroom scales, a tape measure, and a copy of the GI Diet book.

According to that book, I should lose 1lb a week by following its principles. So far so good! In six months, I should weigh 85kg. This remains to be seen, but I need to try.

Wish me luck!

 

[domtyler]

Do yourself a favour mate, get one of these:

http://www.greatjohn.com/grjoreto.html

 

[Blue]

Just try to reduce food intake a little and increase exercise output a little. You may find the lard will shift. I think it's called the calorie equation or some such thing

 

[Crackle]

Do yourself a favour mate, get one of these:

http://www.greatjohn.com/grjoreto.html

......because ???

 

[Blue]

......because ???

Didn't you see the picture of the expected customer types under the "why buy" link on the site!!

 

[Twenty Inch]

Just try to reduce food intake a little and increase exercise output a little. You may find the lard will shift. I think it's called the calorie equation or some such thing

Do you think? I think I have an addiction problem and I'm going to blame it on society.

 

[Crackle]

Didn't you see the picture of the expected customer types under the "why buy" link on the site!!

I didn't.

I'm now wondering how Dom knew of this contraption?

 

[Twenty Inch]

Aaargh! It's not working! I've been on this diet ALL DAY and I'm FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER than when I started.

*feels depressed, eats donut and cheddar cheese sandwich, feels suicidal*

 

[Crackle]

Did you get the relaxation tape that's supposed to come with it?

 

[domtyler]

Tell me you're not thinking of the Great John! Forget getting fit, who wants to be slim when you can relax on your new Great John with a four pack of beers and a family sized bucket of fried chicken plus extra fries and a large strawberry milkshake!

 

[Blue]

How come we are talking about fat blokes on a toilet the day before the anniversary of the birth of the most famous fat guy to die on the bog?

I'll have a deep fried peanut butter sandwich with that, thanks.

 

[Blue]

Aaargh! It's not working! I've been on this diet ALL DAY and I'm FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER than when I started.

PUT DOWN THE KNIFE AND FORK AND STAND AWAY FROM THE TABLE

 

[Twenty Inch]

PUT DOWN THE KNIFE AND FORK AND STAND AWAY FROM THE TABLE

*shlurp, crunch*

Why? *burp*

 

[Twenty Inch]

http://www.greatjohn.com/grjodi.html

The one on the right looks like I feel

 

[Twenty Inch]

95kg and 39 inches today! Yippee!