A Scottish tale.

[redcogs]

Received a kit through letterbox inviting me to have a scan for bowel cancer. i think its an 'oldies' thing, for those who have attained a certain maturity.

A bit unsavoury though. One has to shoot on something not wet, one recommendation being a hand with a poly glove thereupon..

Then, taking the supplied cardboard 'spatula', scoop some up, and spread it nicely onto a further piece of card with a number of windows perforated within it.

Then, taking a second spatula, one has to scoop a further sample from a different area of ones turd, and spread that onto a different window.

Then it has to be sealed up and stored out of the sunlight (which is a bit of a shame, it might look quite attractive gracefully dangling in the bay window) or direct heat.

The same operation has to be carried out three times on three separate days, each date marked, then returned to some appropriate collection point for examination by someone who takes an interest in stale faeces..

Its great in Scotland.

 

[Aperitif]

They've started making the Burns night haggis early then redders!

 

[Dayvo]

I've had medical check-ups for the last three years with work, and funnily enough, I haven't get round to doing that bit for, er, three years!

 

[Mr Pig]

I blame Gillian McKeith.

In the good old days people just died quietly.

 

[Danny]

Thank you for sharing all that detail with us redcogs - I was really looking forward to a nice evening meal until I read your post!

It makes a prostate exam sound a positive pleasure in comparison.

 

[woohoo]

Received a kit through letterbox inviting me to have a scan for bowel cancer. i think its an 'oldies' thing, for those who have attained a certain maturity.

.......

You'll be in-line (so to speak) for the prostate check (up ) as well.

 

[redcogs]

Thank you for sharing all that detail with us redcogs - I was really looking forward to a nice evening meal until I read your post!

It makes a prostate exam sound a positive pleasure in comparison.

Its mince n tatties for us..

Should make tomorrows 'investigations' somewhat easier than todays. Yesterdays tea was an explosive chick pea curry!

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Received a kit through letterbox inviting me to have a scan for bowel cancer. i think its an 'oldies' thing, for those who have attained a certain maturity.

A bit unsavoury though. One has to shoot on something not wet, one recommendation being a hand with a poly glove thereupon..

Then, taking the supplied cardboard 'spatula', scoop some up, and spread it nicely onto a further piece of card with a number of windows perforated within it.

Then, taking a second spatula, one has to scoop a further sample from a different area of ones turd, and spread that onto a different window.

Then it has to be sealed up and stored out of the sunlight (which is a bit of a shame, it might look quite attractive gracefully dangling in the bay window) or direct heat.

The same operation has to be carried out three times on three separate days, each date marked, then returned to some appropriate collection point for examination by someone who takes an interest in stale faeces..

Its great in Scotland.

Did you not draw any inference from the fact that the collection point was a fast food outlet?

 

[mickle]

Stale shoot? Does shoot go off?

 

[Dayvo]

Stale shoot? Does shoot go off?

Not if you put it in a plastic bag and leave it in the fridge for a few days!