# "Modesty"



## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

One for the gents this.

I'm now frequently doing an 18 mile each way commute to work that I wouldn't dream of doing in anything other than padded bibs, but I'm insanely conscious that, well, things aren't always as well packaged when they arrive as perhaps they were when they left. I've tried wearing shorts Over the top but they're a bit restrictive and flap about something rotten. 

Any ideas? I'm thinking some small running/marathon style shorts might do the trick? I feel this is something that seasoned commuters might have an old wives (no pun intended) trick for?!


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## Fab Foodie (25 Mar 2015)

Sadly I'm not that well equipped that anyone would notice .....

But I know others who do the running shorts thing to cover their modesty.


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## fossyant (25 Mar 2015)

Just bib tights over the top.


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## adscrim (25 Mar 2015)

Just repack as you're locking the bike up.


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## ianrauk (25 Mar 2015)

*DHB Navo shorts*

Even though they say they are 'baggy short's'. They are far from baggy.


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## deptfordmarmoset (25 Mar 2015)

Just to clear up any confusion, can you confirm that what's flapping around is the shorts? Please....


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## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

adscrim said:


> Just repack as you're locking the bike up.



You ever tried repacking bibs in public?! It's like trying to unblock a sink with your bare hands.


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## w00hoo_kent (25 Mar 2015)

Rearrange and ignore it. After all, thinking about it too much is only going to have even worse results...


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## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

deptfordmarmoset said:


> Just to clear up any confusion, can you confirm that what's flapping around is the shorts? Please....



For entertainments sake, no!


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## w00hoo_kent (25 Mar 2015)

mythste said:


> You ever tried repacking bibs in public?! It's like trying to unblock a sink with your bare hands.


And much like a sink, the best way is get in, do the job, get out quick. Of course it might help that I lock my bike up somewhere private...


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## Mugshot (25 Mar 2015)

Don't worry about it


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## GrumpyGregry (25 Mar 2015)

Bibs in winter.
Muxu Tempest 3/4 or Rapha 3/4 "plus four" shorts autumn and spring
Bspoke shorts in summer.

all of which I picked up in 2011 and it is still all going strong.

MTB baggies on a road bike only in extremis


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

I do hope you don't have white bibs / shorts (or indeed red...)


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (25 Mar 2015)

So what? You've ridden 18 miles in fairly snug fitting cycling gear, the last thing I'd be caring about is how my chap and his mates look.

It'll grow back in the shower anyway


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## w00hoo_kent (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> I do hope you don't have white bibs / shorts (or indeed red...)


I don't know, bikes can't be black, bibs shorts can't be white or red. When will it ever end? :-)


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## neil_merseyside (25 Mar 2015)

Just pop a pair of running shorts over the top when you arrive.


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## Cyclist33 (25 Mar 2015)

Mugshot said:


> Don't worry about it
> 
> View attachment 83669



Or: how to flog a carbon bike with an insane markup.


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

w00hoo_kent said:


> I don't know, bikes can't be black, bibs shorts can't be white or red. When will it ever end? :-)



Have you ever been behind someone wearing white shorts that have gone a bit thin, who wants to see ar*e hair up close and I'm sure you've seen that Polish cycling team pic  More bananas than Fyffes!


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

Cyclist33 said:


> Or: how to flog a carbon bike with an insane markup.


Why is the dude wearing Colnago shorts with a Specialized bike ffs


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## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

There was a particular moment when one of the more mature woman in the office pointed out "I can see your c***!" when I walked in - in january.

Lorraine, even I can't see my junk. Its the middle of january! Alas, set me on edge a bit!


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## winjim (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> Have you ever been behind someone wearing white shorts that have gone a bit thin, who wants to see ar*e hair up close and I'm sure you've seen that Polish cycling team pic  More bananas than Fyffes!


Going on about the Polish team again? Methinks the lady doth protest too much...


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## w00hoo_kent (25 Mar 2015)

mythste said:


> There was a particular moment when one of the more mature woman in the office pointed out "I can see your c***!" when I walked in - in january.
> 
> Lorraine, even I can't see my junk. Its the middle of january! Alas, set me on edge a bit!


Just tell her to look at your eyes when she's talking to you...


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## axwj29 (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> Have you ever been behind someone wearing white shorts that have gone a bit thin, who wants to see ar*e hair up close and I'm sure you've seen that Polish cycling team pic  More bananas than Fyffes!



Ahem, what pic Vickster??


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

Google it


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## Cyclist33 (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> Why is the dude wearing Colnago shorts with a Specialized bike ffs



Don't knock it till you've tried it... I have a Colnago chainset on my Giant. Mind you it looks ridiculous.


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## Hip Priest (25 Mar 2015)

Wearing shorts over tights is more embarrassing than having a bulge.


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## Mugshot (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> I'm sure you've seen that Polish cycling team pic


I have, too many times, and I always hope it's been photoshopped


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## sidevalve (25 Mar 2015)

I just wrap it around my waist a say it's a spare inner tube


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## Jody (25 Mar 2015)

Who cares if people look at your package.


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## Phaeton (25 Mar 2015)

Get a tee-shirt with the slogan, "What the F**k you looking at?" they won't dare mention it.


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

Jody said:


> Who cares if people look at your package.


As long as they don't point and giggle. ...I expect that might be a little embarrassing


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## w00hoo_kent (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> As long as they don't point and giggle. ...I expect that might be a little embarrassing


I'd always heard a sense of humour was really important :-)


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## GrumpyGregry (25 Mar 2015)

Hip Priest said:


> Wearing shorts over tights is more embarrassing than having a bulge.


Shites.


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## Jody (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> As long as they don't point and giggle. ...I expect that might be a little embarrassing



Not embarrassing at all. Let them giggle. I really don't give a sh*t


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## Dogtrousers (25 Mar 2015)

Baggy trahsers ... baggy trahsers

Or would that be considered Madness?


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## Dayvo (25 Mar 2015)

deptfordmarmoset said:


> Just to clear up any confusion, can you confirm that what's flapping around is the shorts? Please....





mythste said:


> ... but they're a bit restrictive and flap about something rotten.



In his own words, the OP admits to having something rotten in his shorts.


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## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

Dayvo said:


> In his own words, the OP admits to having something rotten in his shorts.



Dry spell. I dont scrub up too bad normally.


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## screenman (25 Mar 2015)

All I can say to anyone who worries about lycra, do not take up serious swimming. Stand upright and be proud, Hmmm! not sure that sounded right.


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

You don't usually walk into an office wearing budgie smugglers though I hope  and the water hides things however large or small (which may change depending on the temperature of the water I should think)?


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## Dayvo (25 Mar 2015)

screenman said:


> All I can say to anyone who worries about lycra, do not take up serious swimming. Stand upright and be proud, Hmmm! not sure that sounded right.



Rowing apparently has that effect, too!


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

Did you need to add the arrow just in case we couldn't see  He needed somewhere to store his oar it seems 

Mmmm rowers , better than those mostly skinny pro road cyclists


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## Dayvo (25 Mar 2015)

The arrow was already there.

I wouldn't want to touch it with a bargepole!


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## Mugshot (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> Mmmm rowers , better than those mostly skinny pro road cyclists


Oh come on, look at this magnificent specimen


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

I could make some extremely un PC comment but I won't 

The GB, Australian, Kiwi ones come up to scratch...the ones who actually pull the oars, not the cox!


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## Mugshot (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> I could make some extremely un PC comment but I won't
> 
> The GB, Australian, Kiwi ones come up to scratch..*.the ones who actually pull the oars, not the cox*!


I thought you were trying to avoid the un PC comments?


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## The_Cycling_Scientist (25 Mar 2015)

I think I have the perfect tee for this moment.... The front says:

"It could be worse....
I could be naked"

I think I'd wear it just for the giggles to see who would look though  hehe


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## vickster (25 Mar 2015)

Mugshot said:


> I thought you were trying to avoid the un PC comments?



Oh that wasn't un PC, the cox doesn't need the burly physique


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## w00hoo_kent (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> Oh that wasn't un PC, the cox doesn't need the burly physique


So... you're saying you are happy with an underdeveloped cox? ;-)


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## Deleted member 23692 (25 Mar 2015)

A quick readjustment with a shoe horn before I enter the office spares everyone's blushed


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## Saluki (25 Mar 2015)

Big tee shirt?


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## BRounsley (25 Mar 2015)

mythste said:


> There was a particular moment when one of the more mature woman in the office pointed out "I can see your c***!" when I walked in - in january.
> 
> Lorraine, even I can't see my junk. Its the middle of january! Alas, set me on edge a bit!



I used to do a similar length commute with the “walk of shame” through the office. My solution was to carry my pannier bag to the front of me until I got to the showers.

I still wear padded bibs on the weekend (just around the house!!!), but now wear “urban” cycle stuff on the commute. My commute is now very short but I often go the long way home which can be 30 miles plus. I’m fine without padding for that distance, so one option is try that.

I normally wear “urban” stuff from brands Rapha, Vulpine or Giro. They look like normal shorts with cycle features, such as a longer back, seams in right places and less flappy. More tailored than your classic MTB baggies. It also the advantage that if you’re not on the bike (like nipping into the supermarket), you can pass as a “normal” person. If that’s not working then you could try some padded underpants.


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## Dave 123 (25 Mar 2015)

So can we just make it clear for me?

Is this another helmet thread?


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## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

BRounsley said:


> I used to do a similar length commute with the “walk of shame” through the office. My solution was to carry my pannier bag to the front of me until I got to the showers.
> 
> I still wear padded bibs on the weekend (just around the house!!!), but now wear “urban” cycle stuff on the commute. My commute is now very short but I often go the long way home which can be 30 miles plus. I’m fine without padding for that distance, so one option is try that.
> 
> I normally wear “urban” stuff from brands Rapha, Vulpine or Giro. They look like normal shorts with cycle features, such as a longer back, seams in right places and less flappy. More tailored than your classic MTB baggies. It also the advantage that if you’re not on the bike (like nipping into the supermarket), you can pass as a “normal” person. If that’s not working then you could try some padded underpants.



Im glad to hear about your experience with said shorts, I think some commuter style shorts but padded might be the way to go, Ive got some vulpine tops and love them so I might sart there.


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## ufkacbln (25 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> I could make some extremely un PC comment but I won't
> 
> The GB, Australian, Kiwi ones come up to scratch...the ones who actually pull the oars, not the cox!




Most people only have one


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## ColinJ (25 Mar 2015)

I was thinking that this whole thing was a bit daft but then I remembered going into a supermarket in Dolgellau while wearing cycling kit ... I was reaching up to get something from a high shelf when I heard giggling from down the aisle. I turned and saw a couple of women actually pointing at my nether-regions (given my very quiet love life these days, perhaps _never_-regions would be more accurate! ). They were wittering away in Welsh and I did not need an interpreter to work out what they were saying! I fled from the store with what was left of my pride in tow ...


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## shouldbeinbed (25 Mar 2015)

mythste said:


> One for the gents this.
> 
> I'm now frequently doing an 18 mile each way commute to work that I wouldn't dream of doing in anything other than padded bibs, but I'm insanely conscious that, well, things aren't always as well packaged when they arrive as perhaps they were when they left. I've tried wearing shorts Over the top but they're a bit restrictive and flap about something rotten.
> 
> Any ideas? I'm thinking some small running/marathon style shorts might do the trick? I feel this is something that seasoned commuters might have an old wives (no pun intended) trick for?!



Duck tape.


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## GrumpyGregry (25 Mar 2015)

Jody said:


> Not embarrassing at all. Let them giggle. I really don't give a sh*t


Technically you don't give a shite


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## mythste (25 Mar 2015)

ColinJ said:


> I was thinking that this whole thing was a bit daft but then I remembered going into a supermarket in Dolgellau while wearing cycling kit ... I was reaching up to get something from a high shelf when I heard giggling from down the aisle. I turned and saw a couple of women actually pointing at my nether-regions (given my very quiet love life these days, perhaps _never_-regions would be more accurate! ). They were wittering away in Welsh and I did not need an interpreter to work out what they were saying! I fled from the store with what was left of my pride in tow ...



Might have had something to do with the magazines you were grabbing from the top shelf!


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## alecstilleyedye (25 Mar 2015)

a double layer of lycra does the trick. far better than the sartorial travesty that is tights under baggy shorts, that seems oddly popular among my colleagues who ride…

a clear breach of rule #18…


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## dr snuggles (25 Mar 2015)

The only thing I'm packing after a ride resembles a knot in the end of a balloon! 
Lucky sod.


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## Fab Foodie (25 Mar 2015)

To be honest,sod 'em just be proud of mother nature like I do.....


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## Fab Foodie (25 Mar 2015)

Now this is just going too far .....


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## T4tomo (25 Mar 2015)

That's wrong on many levels


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## deptfordmarmoset (25 Mar 2015)

T4tomo said:


> That's wrong on many levels


Mostly on a lower level.


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## Fab Foodie (25 Mar 2015)

ianrauk said:


> *DHB Navo shorts*
> 
> Even though they say they are 'baggy short's'. They are far from baggy.


Tempted.
Do you wear them as they are? With regular padded shorts or padded grunts underneath?
Cheers
FF


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## cyberknight (25 Mar 2015)

Its cold first thing in the morning , i dont think to much blood flow is around when i get to work


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## Tim Hall (25 Mar 2015)

Fab Foodie said:


> Tempted.
> Do you wear them as they are? With regular padded shorts or padded grunts underneath?
> Cheers
> FF


The blurb further down says something about padded liner shorts. (although talk about "a short"). I guess that translates as "grunts" in Abingdon.


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## Fab Foodie (25 Mar 2015)

Tim Hall said:


> The blurb further down says something about padded liner shorts. (although talk about "a short"). I guess that translates as "grunts" in Abingdon.


That much I read .... but then the link takes you to a fairly expensive padded undercrackers that are almost lycra shorts ... so I was interested in ian's MO.
Otherwise I might go for some Humvees which end-up around a similar cost which includes padded grundies.


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## ColinJ (25 Mar 2015)

mythste said:


> Might have had something to do with the magazines you were grabbing from the top shelf!


Ha ha - it was actually a mid-ride emergency refuelling stop!


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## Flick of the Elbow (26 Mar 2015)

Can't say it's ever bothered me, but then I've been wearing lycra to work since 1987


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## ianrauk (26 Mar 2015)

Fab Foodie said:


> Tempted.
> Do you wear them as they are? With regular padded shorts or padded grunts underneath?
> Cheers
> FF



Wear them with padded shorts.


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## tyred (26 Mar 2015)

Wear a kilt.


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## surfdude (26 Mar 2015)

if someone had said to me "i can see your co*k" i would have reported her because you bet your life if you had said "i can see you t*ts " you would be in a lot of trouble and most likely lost your job . you can not have one rule for one and not the other . 

on a different note i keep my banana down the front of my tights just in case it gets cold


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## GrumpyGregry (26 Mar 2015)

tyred said:


> Wear a kilt.


Aero disaster. And looks bloody stupid with padded shorts on under it. (There's a picture of me in one on here somewhere....)


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## GrumpyGregry (26 Mar 2015)

Fab Foodie said:


> Tempted.
> Do you wear them as they are? With regular padded shorts or padded grunts underneath?
> Cheers
> FF


Get a Brooks. No need for padding on your commute then.


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## Piemaster (26 Mar 2015)

tyred said:


> Wear a kilt.


Would I need to learn how to play bagpipes too?


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## Racing roadkill (27 Mar 2015)

w00hoo_kent said:


> I don't know, bikes can't be black, bibs shorts can't be white or red. When will it ever end? :-)


When someone tries to board a replacement bus, wearing white bib shorts, on a black bike. That would be like dividing by zero.


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## subaqua (27 Mar 2015)

vickster said:


> Have you ever been behind someone wearing white shorts that have gone a bit thin, who wants to see ar*e hair up close and I'm sure you've seen that Polish cycling team pic  More bananas than Fyffes!


this also applies to ladies in leggings n yoga pants etc. even black ones that are stretched tighter than the skin of a hi hat show more than you think they are. 
and yes guys i did just blow that bubble open, but it works both ways. there will be guys the ladies don't mind looking at like that ( David Gandy ? ) and those that they dont ( ME ) just as there are ladies who really really need to get a friend to check things .


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## vickster (27 Mar 2015)

That's not me though  Well not outside a gym


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## mythste (28 Mar 2015)

subaqua said:


> this also applies to ladies in leggings n yoga pants etc. even black ones that are stretched tighter than the skin of a hi hat show more than you think they are.
> and yes guys i did just blow that bubble open, but it works both ways. there will be guys the ladies don't mind looking at like that ( David Gandy ? ) and those that they dont ( ME ) just as there are ladies who really really need to get a friend to check things .



Hehehehehehe. "blow that bubble open".


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## captain nemo1701 (1 Apr 2015)

Why is the human male embarassed about his bits?. I think my workmates have got used to me in lycra although we used to have a lady who tried to pinch my rear once (mental note: Never go for that 'friday after-work pint' dressed in bibs and with the office lasses).Women rarely get embarassed about their curvy bits, so why are we worried about ours?.


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## MickeyBlueEyes (2 Apr 2015)

^ this. 
Folks at my work are used to seeing me everyday in lycra, and they know on a guy so you know...
I look at it simply, I wouldn't go for a round of golf dressed as a snooker player, I wouldn't play rugby dressed ready for fencing. I'm a cyclist, I'm gonna dress for it.


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## Mike_P (12 Nov 2015)

Apologies for digging this thread up but I came across this article

http://www.bikeradar.com/road/gear/article/bend-in-the-road-proper-chamois-placement-is-key-39013/

The one pair of bibs I have that fail the test by having the front panel too low are none other than DHB ones. Others have a thin front that does little in the way of modesty and the best pad in that respect I have seem to be Sugoi V control.


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## User6179 (12 Nov 2015)

Mike_P said:


> Apologies for digging this thread up but I came across this article
> 
> http://www.bikeradar.com/road/gear/article/bend-in-the-road-proper-chamois-placement-is-key-39013/
> 
> The one pair of bibs I have that fail the test by having the front panel too low are none other than DHB ones. Others have a thin front that does little in the way of modesty and the best pad in that respect I have seem to be Sugoi V control.



I sent my DHB ones back because the pad didn't cover my bum but nearly went up to my belly button at the front , I wonder if the pads are randomly stitched into the bibs .


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## Jody (12 Nov 2015)

Eddy said:


> I wonder if the pads are randomly stitched into the bibs .



Possibly. Mine are the opposite to yours. Pad stops mid way round my nuts and the bum is pretty high


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## Tin Pot (12 Nov 2015)

Eddy said:


> I sent my DHB ones back because the pad didn't cover my bum but nearly went up to my belly button at the front , I wonder if the pads are randomly stitched into the bibs .



Are you and Jody putting them on backwards, perchance?


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## User6179 (12 Nov 2015)

Tin Pot said:


> Are you and Jody putting them on backwards, perchance?



Good chance


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## Wolf616 (12 Nov 2015)

Put a banana down the front of your shorts before walking into the office and then, when somebody points and says 'mate I can see your nob', you can swiftly yank it out (the banana, steady there) and shout, 'no mate it's a banana'.Then you can proceed to peel and eat it, thus replenishing your energy levels after your commute. Everyone wins.


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## Profpointy (12 Nov 2015)

Wolf616 said:


> Put a banana down the front of your shorts before walking into the office and then, when somebody points and says 'mate I can see your nob', you can swiftly yank it out (the banana, steady there) and shout, 'no mate it's a banana'.Then you can proceed to peel and eat it, thus replenishing your energy levels after your commute. Everyone wins.



make sure it's the banana you take out and show


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## screenman (12 Nov 2015)

Eddy said:


> I sent my DHB ones back because the pad didn't cover my bum but nearly went up to my belly button at the front , I wonder if the pads are randomly stitched into the bibs .



Did you have them on back to front?


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## User6179 (12 Nov 2015)

screenman said:


> Did you have them on back to front?



I just have a butt like Beyoncé


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## Markymark (12 Nov 2015)

Eddy said:


> I just have a butt like Beyoncé


Jay Z keeps banging it???


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## User6179 (12 Nov 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> Jay Z keeps banging it???


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## Jody (12 Nov 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> Jay Z keeps banging it???



Think you got mixed up between Bey and Riri


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## Markymark (12 Nov 2015)

Jody said:


> Think you got mixed up between Bey and Riri


It wouldn't suprise me.


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## Jody (12 Nov 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> It wouldn't suprise me.



Apparently why Solange gave him some fist in the lift.


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## Markymark (12 Nov 2015)

Jody said:


> Apparently why Solange gave him some fist in the lift.


Ok now you are just making words up.


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## sidevalve (12 Nov 2015)

Coil it around your neck and pretend it's a scarf - it always works for me


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## Jody (12 Nov 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> Ok now you are just making words up.



Not that I know of. Solange is Beyoncé sister and she did indeed give him some fist in a lift.


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## Markymark (12 Nov 2015)

Jody said:


> Not that I know of. Solange is Beyoncé sister and she did indeed give him some fist in a lift.


Oh ok.


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## PaulSecteur (13 Nov 2015)

vickster said:


> Why is the dude wearing Colnago shorts with a Specialized bike ffs



Because he cant afford a top class bike and top class shorts. He spent the budget on his bike, then made do with the rest of his kit. Smart fella.


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## captain nemo1701 (17 Nov 2015)

Jody said:


> Who cares if people look at your package.


 Exactly. Male ballet dancers don't seem to get hung up about their bulges and their tights are far more revealing!. Reminds me a bit of the 'Black Russian' codpiece gag in Blackadder.

The ladies in my firm are too polite to mention the shape of anything in my crotch but a male worker once mentioned the 'outline' to which I replied, "As a heterosexual man, I wonder why you seem to be preoccupied with my crotch". Seemed to work at the time.

Come on boys, don't get embarrassed about what mother nature gave you.


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## RichardB (17 Nov 2015)

Wolf616 said:


> Put a banana down the front of your shorts before walking into the office and then, when somebody points and says 'mate I can see your nob', you can swiftly yank it out (the banana, steady there) and shout, 'no mate it's a banana'.Then you can proceed to peel and eat it, thus replenishing your energy levels after your commute. Everyone wins.


I can see that working better with a large frankfurter - and don't swiftly yank it out but remove it slowly for the full effect. And then eat it.


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## LocalLad (18 Nov 2015)

surfdude said:


> if someone had said to me "i can see your co*k" i would have reported her because you bet your life if you had said "i can see you t*ts " you would be in a lot of trouble and most likely lost your job . you can not have one rule for one and not the other .
> 
> on a different note i keep my banana down the front of my tights just in case it gets cold


If someone said that to me, depending on my mood on the day, I'd have either put a grievance in to HR for sexual harassment in the workplace, or I would have simply responded with "I can see your tits"


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## liambauckham (19 Nov 2015)

tape it to your belly mate


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