# A remedy for horrendous nightmares please



## Speicher (2 Jan 2008)

This not really a question with regard to physical fitness, but it is starting to affect my physical health because of very disturbed sleep. 

I suffer from the most Horrendous Nightmares. I have always had "bad" dreams, which changed to really horrible ones a few years ago. Then the nightmares got worse, I will save you the details, in case it gives some one else nightmares. Now they are continuing to get even worse, just when I thought that was not possible. 

I was until recently on medication, but the doctor has always been adamant that the nightmares are in no way connected to that. I tried Ginger capsules, which seemed to work brilliantly for a while, but not any more. Can any of you give me any helpful suggestions as to how to alleviate this? Thank you.


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## johnny (2 Jan 2008)

Find a psycho-therapist and talk talk talk.


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## Dormouse (2 Jan 2008)

I always sleep badly if the bedroom is too hot or after boozing. I don't know if these apply to you but they are easily remedied!


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## Speicher (2 Jan 2008)

Dormouse said:


> I always sleep badly if the bedroom is too hot or after boozing. I don't know if these apply to you but they are easily remedied!



It could be the alcohol, I do not usually drink very much at all, but at this time of year, I suppose I have been drinking slightly more. I thought it might be because I was cold in bed, and have been wearing fluffy socks to keep my feet warm, perhaps I overdid it. I will try both of these changes to see what happens.

The advice about therapy, could also be relevant. Until last October I was receiving counselling on a regular basis. Christmas is a very hectic time of year, so perhaps that plays a part as well. Ironic then, that one of my worst ever nightmares was last night, now that things start to calm down a bit. 

Thank you Johnny and Dormouse for your suggestions.


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## domtyler (2 Jan 2008)

I think it would help if you could share some of the dreams with us, what happens?


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## yenrod (2 Jan 2008)

Speich' - w.out being disrespectfull - what are you fearing, what is their to fear  what can happen...

NOTHING...

Keep it simple Speich.

So its you, in the bed (dont know your sleeping arrangements) etc...get comfortable,...

Think nice thoughts - I often think of a nice day, cycling maybe 'floating' on a great day 

Think of it as _your_ time to rest and you shouldnt be affected to these happenings !


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## Cathryn (2 Jan 2008)

Speicher, you poor thing. It does sound to me as if professional medical/psychological help might be order if you maybe know of trauma that might be causing them, and clearly you don't need to tell us about that. If you honestly can't think of anything preying on your mind which would cause the nightmares, what about the standard things...avoiding cheese, having a bath, lavender etc.

Lots of sympathy though...


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## col (2 Jan 2008)

It must be terrible,but the only thing i can think of,other than what others have said,is if your mind is very active,when you go to bed,you need to get it settled and ready for sleep,try reading something you like,or watching a feelgood film,then think of pleasant or happy things.I know its probably easier said than done,but worth a try i think?


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## domtyler (2 Jan 2008)

yenrod said:


> Speich' - w.out being disrespectfull - what are you fearing, what is their to fear  what can happen...
> 
> NOTHING...
> 
> ...



Is this your way of asking for a shag Yenners?


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## Speicher (2 Jan 2008)

Dom Tyler 

Yenrod, would I am sure, find a much more polite way of suggesting that.


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## yenrod (3 Jan 2008)

domtyler said:


> Is this your way of asking for a shag Yenners?




Dom, your a bloody disgrace to yourself !


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## Bigtallfatbloke (3 Jan 2008)

do you eat cheese at night? if so DONT.


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## johnny (3 Jan 2008)

Take a look at this, some good advice about good sleeping practises: 

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalheal...ealthproblems/sleepproblems/sleepingwell.aspx


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## domtyler (3 Jan 2008)

yenrod said:


> Dom, your a bloody disgrace to yourself !



Not just to myself but to everyone I know or have ever met and don't even mention those poor buggers who have the misfortune to be related to me!! :8:


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## wafflycat (3 Jan 2008)

There are all sorts of sleep disorders which have an underlying medical reason. Get thee to the doc and ask if it's a good idea to be referred to a sleep clinic.


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## Speicher (3 Jan 2008)

Thank you everyone for their advice. I think the reason the nightmares have come back again might be for several reasons. 

I have been eating more cheese than usual 
and drinking slightly more alcohol than usual 
the bedroom gets cold about 2am, or if I leave the heating on for these colder nights, the bedroom gets too warm 
I have got a cold  and therefore a slight temperature.
This past month or so has been more hectic than I would like  I am hopeful that now things will start to improve, and I will follow people's advice.

I think it is a combination of all these factors that is causing the problems.
One of my neighbours is a (certified?) aromatherapist, I think I will ask her advice. I do not like the smell of lavendar, unfortunately, but I am sure she could suggest something else.

I am due to see my doctor again soon, and will tell her of the current problems if it continues. 

Two nights ago, when I had one of the most confusing and frightening of nightmares was after a visit by my niece. She is not that frightening, but she does say the most stupidest, thickest, arragant things. You might remember that approx six weeks ago, four young retained firefighters were killed when they attended a factory fire. That was near here. Niece's father is Town Mayor for that town. When we wished ourselves a Happy New Year, niece mentionned the tragic fire accident. She said it had been "puzzling" but at least her father had been able to "improve his media skills" because he had done a lot of radio and TV interviews in his official capacity. I nearly exploded with anger and frustration at her comments. Part of me wanted to say that she might like to explain to the widows, children and parents of the victims that she took such an attitude, and also explain that to the colleagues of the victims who are traumatised by the incident, and no doubt will be for a long time to come. My "mistake" may have been that I was so angry that I did not trust myself to say anything at all, and she left shortly after that anyway. 

The nightmare I had that night was that I was in some sort of martial art combat with an expert who was faster, had more stamina, was stronger than me, and taller etc etc etc, so I had no defence whatsoever. And the fight seemed to go on for a very long time. I woke up very very confused, and my brain did not seem to want to function. Eventually, my brain computed the fact that it was just a dream, but it took some time. So that nightmare was caused by something "playing on my mind".


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## Speicher (3 Jan 2008)

yenrod said:


> Speich' - w.out being disrespectfull - what are you fearing, what is their to fear  what can happen...
> 
> NOTHING...
> 
> ...



At first, Yenrod, I thought "during the nightmares it is impossible to tell myself not to fear them". Then I thought perhaps you meant not to be afraid of the nightmares before they happen, which is a very valid point.
And also not be frightened when I wake up all confused afterwards.
Thank you for making that very important point. It may help to put it all in perspective.


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## col (3 Jan 2008)

The thing is,when your dreaming,you dont know it at the time,and when you wake up,it takes a few minutes ,sometimes,to realise it was a dream,but it doesnt stop the feelings that you wake up with.So the main thing to address i think,is the overactive mind,you somehow need to settle and relax for sleep.easier said than done if your in a cycle or habit of them.whatever is praying on your mind needs to be sorted out,and finished with ,so its not on your mind.Someone mentioned writing things down ,this could help prioritise whats bothering you,and maybe bring it to a conclusion,so you can stop letting it prey on your mind?


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## yenrod (3 Jan 2008)

domtyler said:


> Not just to myself but to everyone I know or have ever met and don't even mention those poor buggers who have the misfortune to be related to me!!



 -


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## yenrod (3 Jan 2008)

Well, Speich, all the r(b)est


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## Speicher (3 Jan 2008)

Thank you 
to Col, I sometimes write things down, and perhaps I should try it more often. The Counsellor I was seeing, had said that if any problems occurred then we could discuss them further if I felt it would be helpful.

Thank you also to Yenrod.
When I replied to DT's comment I was trying to say "There is no way that Yenrod could possibly be as rude to me, as he (DT) was. I like the fact that you replied so accurately to his comment. As he reads this thread, I am being very brief in what I say. 

However, I do not understand how people could describe you as incomprehensible.


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## Speicher (3 Jan 2008)

yenrod said:


> Well, Speich, all the r(b)est



sorry Yenrod, has your keyboard gone wonky?


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## yenrod (3 Jan 2008)

>sorry Yenrod, has your keyboard gone wonky

- Well, Speich, all the r/best: rest or best...


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## Speicher (4 Jan 2008)

Last night, I did not have alcohol or cheese, I turned down the thermostat, but left the heating on all night so as not to be too hot or cold. I still had a nightmare, and when I woke up, Yenrod was there 
But I think that was part of the dream as well.


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## yenrod (4 Jan 2008)

Well my dream consisted of frustrations in relation to a cycle...


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## Dayvo (4 Jan 2008)

It might be time to redecorate the bedroom and introduce softer (pastel) colours to the walls/curtains. And a bit of DIY Feng Shui might help.
Hopefully whatever is affecting your subconscious mind will lessen.
We're rooting for you, Speich!


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## Speicher (4 Jan 2008)

Dayvo said:


> It might be time to redecorate the bedroom and introduce softer (pastel) colours to the walls/curtains. And a bit of DIY Feng Shui might help.
> Hopefully whatever is affecting your subconscious mind will lessen.
> We're rooting for you, Speich!



I think a week on a very warm, quiet sunny beach somewhere, would also do the trick.


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## Chuffy (4 Jan 2008)

Hmmm. I'd guess the long term solution lies in counselling or nearest equivalent. However, there are a few things that might help.

1) Essential oils, especially lavender. Dab a little on each temple before bedtime. Very good at aiding sleep.
2) Try yoga before bedtime, especially breathing exercises to get yourself in a calm state of mind before sleeping.
3) You might be able to get a relaxation tape and accompanying exercise from the local health food shop. Listen to the tape in bed and follow the exercise.

Good luck.


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## domtyler (4 Jan 2008)

The bit where you are in a fight but your own body is totally unresponsive, like you are punching through treacle is a very typical nightmare scenario. I used to get this a lot at one point and was told that it was because there were things in my life that I did not have under control. Which was true.

Could you possibly be not completely in control of your life at the moment Speicha'?


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## Speicher (4 Jan 2008)

domtyler said:


> The bit where you are in a fight but your own body is totally unresponsive, like you are punching through treacle is a very typical nightmare scenario. I used to get this a lot at one point and was told that it was because there were things in my life that I did not have under control. Which was true.
> 
> Could you possibly be not completely in control of your life at the moment Speicha'?



Is anyone in complete control of their life? I am reasonably in control of my lifestyle at the moment - the important "things" at least. But unfortunately I have some close family members ("close" as in closely related, not "close" in that I like them) who strongly object to me doing things in the way I wish to. I try not to let this lead into conflict with them, but I am beginning to think that, having tried to be conciliatory and understanding, and patient, the time has come to "tell it straight". To tell them that by now, they should know that I will do things the way I want to, and they must credit me with the intelligence to do so. I have been too polite in the past and they have not been able to accept that I hold my own opinions, without reference to their "approval". 

One particular person has tried my patience over the last ten years to the absolute limit. The dream about the fight made me think that I have no defence against this person and that I should fall back on the "defence" of completely ignoring them, their opinions and their preferences, just like they have done with mine. Lots of people have spoken on this forum recently about stress, depression, anxiety etc. Perhaps we are in danger of trying too hard to be what other people want us to be. I would add that friends, acquantances, and colleagues etc, may find it very easy to accept others opinions. Perhaps I am unlucky in having some family members who are Post Graduate Control Freaks, and they are still determined to prove that beyond any element of doubt, and furthermore they wish to continue their studies.


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## Pete (6 Jan 2008)

I think - one person's very vivid dream may be another person's nightmare. Not trying to belittle the emotional stress which you are suffering, merely pointing out that people's perceptions vary.

When I started taking beta-blockers some 15 years ago, I was warned by my GP that nightmares were a possible side-effect. If you are prescribed those for any reason it might be worth taking up with the GP - changing to a different type or dosage, say. For me, it hasn't been a problem. I don't think that nightmares are a problem for me such as you describe it.

I sometimes call it a 'nightmare' when I wake up suddenly from a dream which then sticks vividly in my remembrance. This usually happens if I doze off after having woken too early in the morning, say 5 a.m. When I nod off for another hour or so, I never sink into as profound a depth of sleep as I did before the 5 a.m. wakening, so that's the time when the very vivid dreams occur. But I suppose it's a 'nightmare' if you wake from it sweating, palpitating, signs of distress. If you wake from it and, after a moment to get your bearings are able to relax and ease yourself into the world of reality, it's just a 'vivid dream'. But the point is, _it may have been the same dream in each case_.

Dreams such as have been described above - those of frustration, of trying to fight past an obstacle - yes, commonplace for me. Typical is the feeling of being stranded at - say - an airport - lost passport, tickets, luggage, chasing to catch a flight with only seconds to spare, left behind by my wife or others and unable to conatct them. Losing my way en route to the boarding gate. I must have a 'thing' about airports I suppose - they feature quite a lot.

If you are plagued by dreams such as these, and they disturb or distress you - well, sorry to hear it, perhaps a bit of counselling might be the thing. But please bear in mind, the aim of course of action may be: not to prevent these dreams from actually happening, but to *help you come to terms with them* and adopt a more relaxed frame of mind when you do wake from them.

Some of my dreams are about cycling though. Ones where I conquer a hill, a long ride, which I couldn't possibly tackle in real life. I'd like to have more of those please!

Hope this helps.


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## Speicher (6 Jan 2008)

I am pleased to say that last night I just had "normal" muddled up dream(s). I dreamt I had moved house, and was watching TV. A film was shown on TV which I had played a major small part in , but because I did not have internet access, I was not able to put a post on here to tell peeps about it, and any way could not remember the name of the film . 

My cold is slightly improved, I have altered the temperature of the house so that is not too hot or cold. Drank a very small quantity of very low alcoholic Perry. And I have started the massive tidy up and sort out of the contents of this house. It was very much needed because the demands of the last few years left me no time to find good homes/take to the charity shop/recycle stuff. (I cannot bear to throw away anything useful). Perhaps even just starting the process has helped, as now that I have started, I am determined to continue.

Thank you to all those who added their comments, and gave me advice on this subject. Writing about it has been a considerable help. I would add with regard to counselling that I received counselling for a long time, and now realise what most of the difficulties are, but taking action often takes time and involves persuading other people, that yes, a certain course of action is the way I will be doing things. 

If anyone thinks of anything further to add, I will still be watching this thread. Thank you.


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## Andy in Sig (8 Jan 2008)

Speicher said:


> This not really a question with regard to physical fitness, but it is starting to affect my physical health because of very disturbed sleep.
> 
> I suffer from the most Horrendous Nightmares. I have always had "bad" dreams, which changed to really horrible ones a few years ago. Then the nightmares got worse, I will save you the details, in case it gives some one else nightmares. Now they are continuing to get even worse, just when I thought that was not possible.
> 
> I was until recently on medication, but the doctor has always been adamant that the nightmares are in no way connected to that. *I tried Ginger capsules, which seemed to work brilliantly for a while, but not any more*. Can any of you give me any helpful suggestions as to how to alleviate this? Thank you.



It might be worth thinking if there was anything you stopped eating/drinking at the time you started with the ginger capsules and then when you started again the nightmares came back.


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## domtyler (8 Jan 2008)

Maybe lay off the class A's for a while too?


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## sloe (8 Jan 2008)

Good thing about nightmares is the relief on waking up and finding that none of it is true.

You might be able to learn to get a grip on the tail end of it just as you're waking up and bend the story your way, till it morphs into a fully conscious daydream that ends the way you want it to. Even the tiniest bit of control you can achieve is a victory and is definitely worth writing down.


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## Jacomus-rides-Gen (9 Jan 2008)

Have you tried to take control over your dreams? 

I learned to lucid dream, to stop myself going insane when every time I fell asleep I would re-live a fatal car crash I was involved in. I can now, if I wish, take control of my dreams and turn them into anything I want. 

Fighting through treacle? I just tie the other guys hands and beat him up very slowly.

The car crash sequence starts... I do anything I want. Start running with Lola, swoop like superman out of the car and over the countryside, shag Angelina Jolie, anything.


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## ASC1951 (25 Jan 2008)

domtyler said:


> The bit where you are in a fight but your own body is totally unresponsive, like you are punching through treacle is a very typical nightmare scenario.


For as long as I can remember I have had occasional, very vivid, terrifying nightmares. They feature unknown people trying to hunt me down out of doors or at home, intent on killing me in some graphic manner. I get them maybe two or three times a year.

I've never been in any real situation anything like that and I can't find any behaviour in my waking routine which triggers them, so I just dismiss them as part of Life's rich whatsit. I get plenty of other dreams I am perfectly happy to be involved in


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