# Ok ok point taken



## gb155 (16 Jun 2011)

Had my first appointment today relating to my eating disorder , it became clear as I was saying things, that those of you who said I need help were bang on the money

I'm on the road now, it's not gonna be easy or quick but I'm on it and my eyes are wide open

Just wish me luck


----------



## colly (16 Jun 2011)

Well you have tackled difficult stuff before so you know how to do it.


----------



## gb155 (16 Jun 2011)

colly said:


> Well you have tackled difficult stuff before so you know how to do it.



Thanks man :-)


----------



## Dayvo (16 Jun 2011)

The longest journey starts with the first small step...!

No-one starts as an expert, and you will learn very quickly how to deliver and impart the knowledge, information and advice to an interested audience.

Good luck, but I doubt you'll need it!


----------



## Andrew_P (16 Jun 2011)

Something nice and cleansing telling a stranger some of your inner most thoughts and or problems. If you are comfortable with the person helping you, you have struck gold. 

Stick with it, and do as you are asked to do, well as much as possible. 

Good luck!


----------



## gb155 (16 Jun 2011)

Its week one of, potentially over a years worth of help, thats a hella long time, but already, something, I dont know what, has changed, it really has, I cant eat, but I want to, I just need to know what/how to start now.


----------



## Baggy (16 Jun 2011)

All the best with working this out - you're going into this with an open mind, which is a great way to start off.


----------



## eldudino (16 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Its week one of, potentially over a years worth of help, thats a hella long time



Can I point out: 


*December 2007* - 39 Stone 11 Lbs
*June 2011* - 13 Stone 12 Lbs


A year's nowt. You can do it, Gaz!


----------



## Melonfish (17 Jun 2011)

you've clearly shown you have the strength and fortitude to see something through gaz. i doubt you'll have any major problems now.
you can do it m8!
pete


----------



## fimm (17 Jun 2011)

Good luck. As others have said above, you've started and come a very long way on one long and difficult journey already. Take this journey slowly too, and be gentle with yourself, is my advice. 

You don't seem to have waited as long for an appointment as you thought you might have to, am I right?


----------



## Angelfishsolo (17 Jun 2011)

You have taken the hardest steps. Asking for help and accepting you have a problem. As you say it will be hard but if you want to succeed you will.

Best of Luck, Dave


----------



## Lien Sdrawde (17 Jun 2011)

Hi, I didnt know you were having problems. One of the reasons I know I can lose weight and do this is cos of you - seen you in the local paper & on the forums etc. I guess if peoples good wishes and admiration for your achievments so far were translated into a medicine that would help you, you'd breeze through any troubles - but as it doesnt quite work that way, at least know folks are rooting for you.

Truly wish it goes well for you. Neil.


----------



## gb155 (17 Jun 2011)

Cheers all

I have a real air of confidence around me today, I feel that I can and will beat this and beat the livi g day lights out of it !!!


----------



## Andrew_P (17 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Cheers all
> 
> I have a real air of confidence around me today, I feel that I can and will beat this and beat the livi g day lights out of it !!!


----------



## Banjo (17 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Its week one of, potentially over a years worth of help, thats a hella long time, but already, something, I dont know what, has changed, it really has, I cant eat, but I want to, I just need to know what/how to start now.



Making the decision to take control and doing something about a problem instantly removes some of the stress its causing. Thats why you allready feel better.

Good Luck Gaz I know it wont be easy but your on your way now.


----------



## gb155 (17 Jun 2011)

Banjo said:


> Making the decision to take control and doing something about a problem instantly removes some of the stress its causing. Thats why you allready feel better.
> 
> Good Luck Gaz I know it wont be easy but your on your way now.




Laying out all my " issues" was a revelation

In that I didn't know I had most of 'em :-) 

But also that I can see what potentially caused this and fueled the fire .

I quite fancy a Mexican , talk about running before you can crawl , never wanted to beat this before , never wanted to think about it before

But it's gonna come crumbing down :-)


----------



## ttcycle (17 Jun 2011)

Good luck Gaz, sometimes it's the most obvious things that evade us!

It won't be easy but you've started the process and I hope it helps you tackle the issues at hand and see them through

Mexican is GOOOD! Your world will open out so much more.


----------



## gb155 (18 Jun 2011)

And now, I have just eaten these, more tastes and flavours in this packet than In the last 27 years 

Now someone needs to tell me how good/bad these REALLY are for me LOL

Lovd'em


----------



## Michiel (19 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Just wish me luck



Best of luck .. and as others already have pointed out .. It always begins with little steps and the first one is the most important one ...
Well done mate.


----------



## coffeejo (19 Jun 2011)

You'll get there. All you need is time and perseverance and you've got both. Especially the latter


----------



## lulubel (19 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Now someone needs to tell me how good/bad these REALLY are for me LOL



They're nuts, which is good. They contain protein and mostly unsaturated fat, as well as some carbs. For a "snack in a bag", they look like a pretty decent choice. (And I think Levi Roots is great. I had no idea he'd expanded his range so far since his start on Dragons Den.)

If you want full nutritional information, I found it at Tesco.com
Reggae Reggae Peanuts and Cashews

I just discovered your blog, by the way, Gaz. What you've achieved is absolutely amazing.


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

lulubel said:


> They're nuts, which is good. They contain protein and mostly unsaturated fat, as well as some carbs. For a "snack in a bag", they look like a pretty decent choice. (And I think Levi Roots is great. I had no idea he'd expanded his range so far since his start on Dragons Den.)
> 
> If you want full nutritional information, I found it at Tesco.com
> Reggae Reggae Peanuts and Cashews
> ...



Appreciate your help

Many Thanks

Gaz


----------



## ColinJ (20 Jun 2011)

Keep it up, and good luck Gaz!

It's good that you are trying new things, but I think an important step might be to prioritise foodstuffs that haven't come from a factory. Sweets, snacks, manufactured drinks - they nearly all have stuff added to them that you could do without. Think _'naturally-grown = good, made-in-factory = not so good!'_


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

ColinJ said:


> Keep it up, and good luck Gaz!
> 
> It's good that you are trying new things, but I think an important step might be to prioritise foodstuffs that haven't come from a factory. Sweets, snacks, manufactured drinks - they nearly all have stuff added to them that you could do without. Think 'naturally-grown = good, made-in-factory = not so good!'




I agree Colin

But I only get calories from crisps and as they are so full of oil I really need to cut down, so this step is aimed at lowering my crisp intake till I get things sorted 

Next on my list to try is an apple , any suggestions ????


----------



## Baggy (20 Jun 2011)

What about a peeled English Cox's apple?


----------



## dan_bo (20 Jun 2011)

Omelette/potato frittata- food o't' gods, as they say in oldham.


----------



## ColinJ (20 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Next on my list to try is an apple , any suggestions ????


Like bananas - apples can be very variable in quality. 

There is a huge number of different varieties of apple. You'll have to try them one at a time to find ones which you like. I reckon you will be able to find at least one. If you get some that are a bit below par, don't write the whole variety off. Ideally, if you get them from a market, ask if you can try a slice of one before buying. Most stall holders will let you sample stuff if you ask nicely and become a regular.

I quarter apples and then slice the core parts out, including the seeds. Then I inspect what is left for bruising and cut out any bruised parts. Cut just before eating because apples oxidise quite quickly. They will go brown if you leave them for long. If you only eat half an apple, you can cut the brown part off the other half when you come to eat that. It is usually only the surface which is affected.

Don't stock up for weeks ahead. You want to buy a fresh new bag each week. If you buy them in good condition, don't bruise them and keep them in a cool place, they will be fine for a week.

I gave up on Granny Smiths because you can get absolutely great, sweet ones one week, and the next lot can be horribly bitter. Golden Delicious seem to be pretty variable too.

Cox's can be very good. They should be firm and sweet, but I've had some which are a let-down. Braeburns are also usually good.

My current faves are Jazz apples. A local market stall holder introduced me to them a couple of years ago and I've only had two disappointing bags in that time.


----------



## potsy (20 Jun 2011)

Pink Lady apples are lovely Gaz, as are the Jazz ones Colin mentions.
How about satsumas or oranges?


----------



## coffeejo (20 Jun 2011)

potsy said:


> Pink Lady apples are lovely Gaz, as are the Jazz ones Colin mentions.
> How about satsumas or oranges?



+1 for everything Colin and Potsy said. Esp re: Pink Lady apples. Since the pick your own season is now upon us, have you thought about that? Cycle to a farm, spend some time in the sun picking strawberries etc, eat at your leisure having selected exactly what you want to eat as part of a bike ride rather than a shopping trip, if that makes sense? (My landlords' cherries are almost ready ... drool  )


----------



## ColinJ (20 Jun 2011)

potsy said:


> Pink Lady apples are lovely Gaz, as are the Jazz ones Colin mentions.
> How about satsumas or oranges?


Ah yes, Pink Lady can be very good.

I have almost totally given up on satsumas though. Yes, the good ones can be fabulous, but the bad ones are absolutely inedible! I won't buy any again unless the stall holder let's me pick one at random and eat it before buying! It's obvious that some of them have been sitting in a warehouse somewhere for a couple of years.


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

Colin et el, you guys are AMAZING, just a simple question that most would laugh at me for asking but you give me the in-depth stuff I REALLY need

My food buyer is on the case, lets do this, I HOPE to report back with good news SOON !


----------



## potsy (20 Jun 2011)

Colin I know what you mean re the satsumas, they do vary from week to week where I get them from.
When they are on form they are a lovely little at work snack, keeps me away from the biscuits and chocolate.

I have just bought some Braeburn apples and a couple of bananas, need to get back to eating healthy again myself, that Jo is a bad influence on me


----------



## Zoiders (20 Jun 2011)

I will be honest here and say that I think you know what you need to eat but you are pretending ignorance on the subject in order to delay making a change.

You need to find a staple food that isn't crisps - that could be anything, tuna sandwiches, breakfast cereal, beans on toast, pasta, porridge, rice, potatoes, turnips, green plantain bananas even, the options are huge - you need a daily source of carbs that isn't junk food, you know that, I know that, everyone knows that.


----------



## coffeejo (20 Jun 2011)

potsy said:


> I have just bought some Braeburn apples and a couple of bananas, need to get back to eating healthy again myself, that Jo is a bad influence on me



*splutter*


----------



## ColinJ (20 Jun 2011)

Zoiders said:


> I will be honest here and say that I think you know what you need to eat but you are pretending ignorance on the subject in order to delay making a change.
> 
> You need to find a staple food that isn't crisps - that could be anything from tuna sandwiches to breakfast cereal but you need a daily source of carbs that isn't junk food, you know that, I know that, everyone knows that.


There is sometimes a giant gulf between _knowing_ something and doing something about it!

I suffered from agoraphobia and panic attacks for 3 years after dropping out of university at the age of 20. It was so bad that I hardly left the house sober in that whole time. I even had to send friends to buy me the booze!. 

I _knew_ that should be out earning a living or studying, that I should get myself a girlfriend, learn to drive, go watch bands, travel and so on. What did I do in the hot hot hot summer of '76 while my peers were out sunbathing, womanising, having the summer of their lives? I stayed indoors, curtains closed, playing darts by myself for 10 hours a day, or watching soaps on TV. 

Of course I _knew_ that I should be getting a life, but it took me over 3 years to actually do it!

I've seen anorexia close-up and watching someone push 4 peas about a plate for 5 minutes, trying to pluck up the courage to eat one of them is a complete head-f*ck, but I can tell you that screaming _"JUST EAT THE DAMN THINGS!" _at the anorexic doesn't work.

I'm damn sure that he has had 20+ years of people saying _"Oh for God's sake, it's only a bloody apple - take a bite of it and if you don't like it, spit out!"_ That obviously didn't help him. Getting into cycling and talking about his problems obviously does.

If Gaz didn't have the problems that he has got, then of course I wouldn't be spending time telling him how to go about choosing/eating bananas or apples. He knows that he has to do this kind of thing, but he has a psychological/emotional problem with it. He's been very honest about it and some of us are trying to help.

*PS* I just went to take a bite out of a Cox's apple and thought there was something dodgy about it. It turned out to be completely rotten inside! That kind of thing is rare, but I'm sure that it would have freaked Gaz out if it had happened to him, hence my advice to be careful to checking apples before eating them.

I try to imagine how he would feel and anticipate any problems that might catch him out and trigger off his gag reflex, or whatever actually happens when he tries to eat something that worries him.


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

Zoiders said:


> I will be honest here and say that I think you know what you need to eat but you are pretending ignorance on the subject in order to delay making a change.
> 
> You need to find a staple food that isn't crisps - that could be anything, tuna sandwiches, breakfast cereal, beans on toast, pasta, porridge, rice, potatoes, turnips, green plantain bananas even, the options are huge - you need a daily source of carbs that isn't junk food, you know that, I know that, everyone knows that.




Nothing could be further from the truth !!!!!!


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

ColinJ said:


> There is sometimes a giant gulf between knowing something and doing something about it!
> 
> I suffered from agoraphobia and panic attacks for 3 years after dropping out of university at the age of 20. It was so bad that I hardly left the house sober in that whole time. I even had to send friends to buy me the booze!.
> 
> ...




Colin

Thanks for such an honest post mate

You right, since I was 3 it's been feeding by force, guilt or manipulation , that's left me totally void of knowledge , but with your help I feel, for the first time ever, ready to beat this & I also feel like I'll be able to too, it's been 27 years of anxiety about food , so zoiders saying " stop pretending " etc just reinforces the negative feelings and emotions that have been used shaker me for years. 

I never thought I'd eat cashew nuts, I never thought I'd eat anything that was called Reggae reggae , but I have done and I'm living the new flavours it offers

I feel this is a cross roads and I'm ready Ti nail this, but just like a 3 year old baby, I need a little bit of hand holding and educating and Colin , I'll forever be grateful to you

Gaz


----------



## potsy (20 Jun 2011)

Give me a week and I'll have you eating donner kebabs by the van load






Soon get your physique looking like mine and Colins'


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

potsy said:


> Give me a week and I'll have you eating donner kebabs by the van load
> 
> Soon get your physique looking like mine and Colins'



I'd love to know how :-)


----------



## ColinJ (20 Jun 2011)

potsy said:


> Soon get your physique looking like mine and Colins'





gb155 said:


> I'd love to know how :-)


Well, I think you already know how to get a sumo belly. Potsy's specialisation is kebabs, mine is beer and yours was the snack-food diet!


----------



## potsy (20 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> I'd love to know how :-)



I wish I could forget how


----------



## potsy (20 Jun 2011)

ColinJ said:


> Well, I think you already know how to get a *sumo belly.* Potsy's specialisation is kebabs, mine is beer and yours was the snack-food diet!



Ooh that sounds like the cue for a photo


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

ColinJ said:


> Well, I think you already know how to get a sumo belly. Potsy's specialisation is kebabs, mine is beer and yours was the snack-food diet!




Add all 3 together and we could do 70 stone no probs :-)


----------



## Lien Sdrawde (20 Jun 2011)

A whole pinapple is good value - simply take a freshly sharpened sammurai sword to split in two, and then enjoy a few mouthfulls of the insides.
Mine been in the fridge for a couple of days so far as I work my way through it a few spoons at a time.


Strawberries and rasberries also deserve a shout (yummy) with only a small additional cost of some tooth pics to help remove the seeds from inbetween your nashers.

Ive also been trying plums (red or yellow), and boy oh boy are they tasty, but never seem to be sold actually 'ripe' so often you have to wait a few days to enjoy them.


----------



## ColinJ (20 Jun 2011)

Lien Sdrawde said:


> A whole pinapple is good value - simply take a freshly sharpened sammurai sword to split in two, and then enjoy a few mouthfulls of the insides.
> 
> Mine been in the fridge for a couple of days so far as I work my way through it a few spoons at a time.


Fresh pineapple is lovely but you have to think where Gaz is coming from. To him, trying new food feels threatening, so it needs to be as straightforward as possible. A pineapple could look pretty intimidating to someone with SED!

_*Stop laughing at the back! *_ 

Gaz - despite having suggested earlier that you avoid foods from factories, I'd suggest starting off with the liquid from a tin of pineapple. Sometimes the liquid in tinned fruit is described as 'syrup' - that means it is laden with added sugar. You want 'juice' not 'syrup'. That would mean that there was nothing in the tin but the fruit and fruit juice. All the factory did was preserve that in a tin can.

I think you might take exception to the texture of pineapple itself. There is a slightly fibrous quality to it that might cause problems. Mind you, a small tin of pineapple is cheap so nowt much lost if you don't like it. 

Try drinking the juice Gaz, and if you like sweetness of it, you could suck a few pineapple chunks and see how you got on. If that went well, you could try chewing one.

(All this talk of food is making me feel hungry - I'm off to have something to eat! )_*
*_

PS I've just realised what you wrote about that _'freshly sharpened Samurai sword'_ - ho ho, what kitchen is complete without one!


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

ColinJ said:


> Fresh pineapple is lovely but you have to think where Gaz is coming from. To him, trying new food feels threatening, so it needs to be as straightforward as possible. A pineapple could look pretty intimidating to someone with SED!
> 
> _*Stop laughing at the back! *_
> 
> ...



Saved for after the apple attempt


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

[QUOTE 1429984"]
Sorry Gaz, only just read this. Great news, great hope.
[/quote]

Cheers Dude, appreciate it


----------



## gb155 (20 Jun 2011)

[QUOTE 1429987"]
I worked on an eating disorder unit for a few years a while back. You can do this.
[/quote]

For the first time ever !

I believe that too

any practical advice ?


----------



## Andrew_P (20 Jun 2011)

Smoothies might be step towards fruit.

Or Cooked apple.

I am just amazed that the human body can operate on crisps & Mars

What is the anxiety based around? Texture or taste?

Bit like someone earlier, I seriously crashed and burned in my 30's panic and a type of agrophobia. I could barely get out. All I know was that the only way I got back to life was exposure in small and tiny steps. If I over did it it really was one step forward two or more steps back. 

So my only advice is that your excitement is great, but don't go to quickly 27 years is a lot to unlearn.


----------



## gb155 (21 Jun 2011)

[QUOTE 1429989"]
Seriously? I'd say look to your professional and immediate support first. You'll get loads of encouragement on here, and that's brilliant, but don't take the advice too much to heart. None of us are experts (some of us know nothing!) and none of us know your whole picture.
[/quote]

Thanks

there is (as always im sure) issues around my professional support, in that I dont know when my next appt will be, they were supposed to call yesterday to confirm the duration of treatment that they can offer (said to be approx 30 sessions, ever 2 weeks) but that one appt I have ha, its been a real eye-opener/kick up the ass


----------



## gb155 (21 Jun 2011)

I now have an apple sat upon my desk....just need to figure out how to get it from desk to mouth


----------



## fimm (21 Jun 2011)

Colin's tip to cut it up is a good one, if you can get hold of a knife. You do know that there's a bit in the middle (the "core") that most people don't eat? It is the bit with the pips in - if you cut the apple into quarters vertically then you should see the core quite easily.


----------



## gb155 (21 Jun 2011)

I just bit into it

3 bites so far and it's not harmed me yet ;-)


----------



## Mad at urage (21 Jun 2011)

The core is the tastiest bit! Pips are full of flavour, the only bit of an apple I don't (usually) eat is the stalk.








But then some people* think I'm weird.





*Actually, that's probably most people. Yeah, cut it and core it - you're only a beginner after all   !


----------



## coffeejo (21 Jun 2011)

Cut it horizontally to see a star


----------



## ColinJ (21 Jun 2011)

coffeejo said:


> Cut it horizontally to see a star


Oh, yes - In my description, I meant cut it vertically, from where the stalk (?) comes out at the top, to the funny bit at the bottom.

There are probably a few people thinking that Gaz is making a real fuss about eating an apple, but when you watch those travel programmes on TV and see the hardy traveller flinching when proudly presented with a local delicacy (camel's eyeball, yak's testicle, whatever), you realise that we are _all_ fussy about what we eat. It's just that some people take it a bit further than others ...


----------



## gb155 (21 Jun 2011)

Ideally I shouldn't have done it at work

But 5 small bites IS a huge leap forwards I feel

Next time and there will be a next time, I'll cut it first and not do it in public

Ps- thanks Colin !!!


----------



## potsy (21 Jun 2011)

Well done big man, that's about 30 calories towards your daily allowance


----------



## fossyant (21 Jun 2011)

Gaz - have a bit of what the missus and kids are eating. Follow them !

Certainly get into fruit and 'good' cereals (i.e. not coco pops) first.


----------



## potsy (21 Jun 2011)

Hey stop dissing the coco pops, they're my No1 cereal!! 

Have had a bowl of Special K oats and honey for my dinner/lunch/brunch, marvellous


----------



## fossyant (21 Jun 2011)

Coco pops do not fuel-eth the cyclist-eth ! 

Quote: Fossy 2011.


----------



## gb155 (21 Jun 2011)

fossyant said:


> Coco pops do not fuel-eth the cyclist-eth !
> 
> Quote: Fossy 2011.




And this cyclist needs fuel


----------



## ColinJ (21 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> And this cyclist needs fuel


Porridge + banana + honey + raisins!

(I've mentioned porridge before, but I think it is an acquired taste for many people so you are probably going to struggle with it!)


----------



## gb155 (21 Jun 2011)

ColinJ said:


> Porridge + banana + honey + raisins!
> 
> (I've mentioned porridge before, but I think it is an acquired taste for many people so you are probably going to struggle with it!)



The sound of that does scare me tbh


----------



## coffeejo (21 Jun 2011)

Porridge *is* scary. Substances used to hold up wallpaper are not food 

Where you do you stand with bananas? I often mash one and mix muesli into it. It tastes much nicer than it sounds, honest!


----------



## monnet (22 Jun 2011)

coffeejo said:


> Porridge *is* scary. Substances used to hold up wallpaper are not food
> 
> Where you do you stand with bananas? I often mash one and mix muesli into it. It tastes much nicer than it sounds, honest!



Haha! And muesli mixed with banana won't hold up wallpaper?!

Gaz, good news on the apple. It's a great start.


----------



## Lien Sdrawde (22 Jun 2011)

Ooooh yes - raisins (mmmm, yummy). They are Gods version of midget gems.


----------



## lulubel (22 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> The sound of that does scare me tbh



Scary porridge. I prefer cereals. Which just shows how we all have different tastes and how complicated this is.

Just try a banana on its own first, maybe? Or a few raisins? See if you like them on their own before you start trying to put things together.


----------



## SavageHoutkop (22 Jun 2011)

gb155 said:


> Had my first appointment today relating to my eating disorder , it became clear as I was saying things, that those of you who said I need help were bang on the money



I seem to have missed the details - what is the problem - trying new foods? (And I take from preceding posts that the foods you are currently eating are usually junk...?)


----------

