# How to deal with bike thieves



## earth (17 Oct 2009)

A friend of mine just discovered someone has put a poster up on the wall near his house regarding their stolen bike. Note: Not stolen by my friend.


Sorry don't have the image on a URL, please view the attachment.


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## earth (17 Oct 2009)

User3143 said:


> While having a rant is good, like that it is not. Ironic as it may seam as well the person whose bike was nicked could receive a visit from the law if he is using threatening language like that.



Saying "I'm going to kill you" is a tad risky.


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## Tubbs (17 Oct 2009)

earth said:


> A friend of mine just discovered someone has put a poster up on the wall near his house regarding their stolen bike. Note: Not stolen by my friend.
> 
> 
> Sorry don't have the image on a URL, please view the attachment.



Blimey that's a bit much. Although if I'd stolen it I'd probably return it if I saw that.


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## Chamfus Flange (18 Oct 2009)

I have a feeling that all get him nowhere and very slowly.



.


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## andrew-the-tortoise (18 Oct 2009)

Be pro-active; get one of these frame stickers off e-bay.


View attachment 4507


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## Davidc (18 Oct 2009)

I symathise, I still feel like that about the person who stole my Holdsworth in 1974.

IMO Not very sensible to put up a poster like that though!


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## earth (18 Oct 2009)

It's true it won't get him anywhere.

The theif might decide to leave the bike outside the police station and phone in to say its there. Then write a response on the poster. If the owner goes to the police to claim the bike he would be in trouble for putting such an offensive poster up.

I admire his imagination but he has shot himself in the foot by being so aggressive.


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## Landslide (18 Oct 2009)

Wow. Can't you cyclists take a joke?
[/Matthew Parris]


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## e-rider (19 Oct 2009)

I would say that it's fair enough. Probably not going to get his bike back but should help release some of that anger that you feel after having your pride and joy stolen - I know as it just happened to me and I feel pretty similar!


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## Sh4rkyBloke (19 Oct 2009)

Whilst I appreciate that the guy is p*ssed at having his bike nicked... I'd be a extremely unamused if my 5.5 year old saw that sign as she would probably read it... and as the swear words are the largest part it's a safe bet that they'd be the focus of her attention.

It's not big, and it's not clever.


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## Manonabike (19 Oct 2009)

Sh4rkyBloke said:


> Whilst I appreciate that the guy is p*ssed at having his bike nicked... I'd be a extremely unamused if my 5.5 year old saw that sign as she would probably read it... and as the swear words are the largest part it's a safe bet that they'd be the focus of her attention.
> 
> It's not big, and it's not clever.




Having raised 3 kids myself I understand where you are coming from, having said that, it's a rather silly attitude cos you cannot protect kids from reading or hearing swear words 24/7. My wife never swears and I do but very rarely - our kids don't swear either and yet I remember they would come home to ask why so and so said bla bla bla etc. Explaining why the poster has those words and why it's wrong, it's a far better way of handling the situation IMHO.


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## Sh4rkyBloke (19 Oct 2009)

Manonabike said:


> Having raised 3 kids myself I understand where you are coming from, having said that,* it's a rather silly attitude* cos you cannot protect kids from reading or hearing swear words 24/7. My wife never swears and I do but very rarely - our kids don't swear either and yet I remember they would come home to ask why so and so said bla bla bla etc. Explaining why the poster has those words and why it's wrong, it's a far better way of handling the situation IMHO.


Thanks for the kind words. 

I'm not trying to shield them from all swearing... but does it need to be pushed in their face in big, bold letters by someone who's trying to.. well, I'm not really sure what he's trying to do as we all know that that poster will do precisely nothing.


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## skrx (21 Oct 2009)

Sh4rkyBloke said:


> Whilst I appreciate that the guy is p*ssed at having his bike nicked... I'd be a extremely unamused if my 5.5 year old saw that sign as she would probably read it...



*shrug* She'll know it by the end of the school year anyway. (I did, along with most of the others, and I went to a "nice" school in the countryside.)

[Isn't it a tad hypocritical to use "p*ssed" above?]


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## Crankarm (30 Oct 2009)

It was probably kids that nicked the bike anyway.


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## Crankarm (30 Oct 2009)

andrew-the-tortoise said:


> Be pro-active; get one of these frame stickers off e-bay.
> 
> 
> View attachment 4507



Like it.

Also need a sign warning that covert filming will commence if the bike is fiddled with or removed, a tracker is fitted, so don't dare nick it. If you do
then you will easily be hunted down ...............


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## Sh4rkyBloke (31 Oct 2009)

skrx said:


> *shrug* She'll know it by the end of the school year anyway. (I did, along with most of the others, and I went to a "nice" school in the countryside.)
> 
> [*Isn't it a tad hypocritical to use "p*ssed" above?*]


Errr... why? It's not painted in big letters anywhere for my Daughter or anyone else's kids to read... and also has a key letter missing thus rendering it illegible to those who are unfamiliar with what the word should be.


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## TheCyclingRooster (9 Dec 2009)

A possible deterrent to this sort of lowlife behaviour is to look for a dog breeder that can cross a Greyhound with a Pit Bull Terrier.Speed and agility as a running partner and please release me from these jaws,(I promise I wan't do it again, ever)don't go there looks.If you are a female cyclist the additional security to youself has to be worth the feeding costs(temporary untill someone gives the animal a pratice run).Happy & Safe Riding to you All.


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## thegrumpybiker (18 Dec 2009)

I wouldn't be surprised if the law is more concerned with finding the sign poster than the bike thief.


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## Dave5N (21 Dec 2009)

Still at least he didn't put his name to it.


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## arallsopp (23 Dec 2009)

I can understand the frustration, to be honest.

When Fatboy got nicked, it near broke my heart. Poor little lamb only ever wanted to pootle around car parks with mates in the rain. He was like a happy (but idiot) puppy, all enthusiasm and embarrassingly ill equipped. I just hope the bugg3rs sold him on to someone that loves him like I still do.

Almost two years later, I still do double takes on any silver framed cr@p heaps.


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## fergal penge (21 Jan 2010)

I think that apprehended cycle thieves should be forced to ride the stolen machine from John' Groats to Lands End without the saddle.


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## TechMech (22 Jan 2010)

andrew-the-tortoise said:


> Be pro-active; get one of these frame stickers off e-bay.
> 
> 
> View attachment 4507



Cheers, I've just found my new avatar


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## Crankarm (25 Jan 2010)

Dave5N said:


> Still at least he didn't put his name to it.



I think he did - "Mike" .


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## tofer (31 Mar 2010)

Just had mine stolen two weeks ago, I heartily echo the sentiments of the chap who placed the poster. 
Reminds me of the piece by Malcolm Gladwell in "Tipping Point" about Bernard Goetzte. If a few thieves were "dealt with" perhaps it might help in reducing the problem. After all lets face it what happens after your wheels are gone?
Police crime number, insurance pays if you're lucky etc etc.
The thief won't get caught and even if they did, then what? 10 hours community service. Now what kind of deterrent is that. 
No the poster guy has my vote.


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## MacB (31 Mar 2010)

tofer said:


> Just had mine stolen two weeks ago, I heartily echo the sentiments of the chap who placed the poster.
> Reminds me of the piece by Malcolm Gladwell in "Tipping Point" about Bernard Goetzte. If a few thieves were "dealt with" perhaps it might help in reducing the problem. After all lets face it what happens after your wheels are gone?
> Police crime number, insurance pays if you're lucky etc etc.
> The thief won't get caught and even if they did, then what? 10 hours community service. Now what kind of deterrent is that.
> No the poster guy has my vote.



It's tempting but I think the net needs casting a bit wider than the little scrotes that do the thieving. As long as the market exists then the thieves will feed it. I've given up being amazed by the amount of stuff, that's at best suspect, that sells on e-bay, gumtree, local ads, etc. People are either too stupid, or too self centred, to make the connection between their 'bargain' and crime figures.

You'd still have the serious high end thieves that sell via shops or shipping abroad. But they wouldn't be interested in the sorts of bikes we'd like to be able to leave locked up in public.


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## bauldbairn (31 Mar 2010)

tofer said:


> Just had mine stolen two weeks ago, I heartily echo the sentiments of the chap who placed the poster.
> If a few thieves were "dealt with" perhaps it might help in reducing the problem. No the poster guy has my vote.



Sorry to here that tofer.

I'm surprised nobody mentioned this guy is probably a practicing Christian - his bike was locked outside the Cathedral(at night) and he mentioned God will not save you. Could even have been the vicar. 

He's was pretty angry though - understandably.

It does seem bike crime isn't taken too seriously by the courts.


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## TheCyclingRooster (2 Apr 2010)

*Stolen Bikes/Bike Thieves*

Bike thieves when found and in particular if in possession of said stolen bike should be stripped of their lower garments,the saddle removed from the post and the thief launched onto the post untill it is fully engaged where the sun does not shine.Their hands placed on the bars away from the brake/gear levers and tied with rope around the wrists to secure them in place and given a push start.I am sure bike theft would reduce rapidly as a result..Happy & Safe Riding to You All.


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## djondjayvadas (8 Jun 2010)

I got my gf this tee:

http://www.threadless.com/product/1941/Missing


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## e-rider (16 Jun 2010)

Cool T-shirt.


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## Tynan (20 Jun 2010)

like those filthty muslim fundies do?

several criminal offences in that poster, if he's reported the bike stolen that the coppers will know who he is

I've had a far few bikes nicked and I'd never leave one locked up in proper public space, I never have for that matter


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## wjh666 (20 Jun 2010)

good on him cus someone tried to steel my bike from right in front of me so i chased him down and kicked his ass.good times!


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## Rob3rt (22 Jun 2010)

Lol, I might buy a top tube pad for my fixie, proper hipster style (I have to carry it up stairs into my appartment or office so I will use this as an excuse - protection for the shoulder ) and hide a note in there for theives just incase.


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## Radius (22 Jun 2010)

I'm almost certain that poster was a bit of a joke...


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## Russell Allen (5 Oct 2010)

About 18 years ago when I was a keen motorcyclist, theft of motorcycles was totally rife, you couldnt leave a bike parked anywhere without serious additional security. Anyway to the point ...there was an article/interview in one of the bike magazines about a group of (balaclava clad) guys who used go out at night, to park a bike in a likely spot, then wait quietly in a transit van nearby. I dont have to describe the rest of the scenario but suffice to say we all laughed at the tales of little bike thieving scrotes getting some therapy coutesy of the van load of vigilantes. I'm not advocating this behavior but it did give us a enormous great belly laugh. Bikes are stolen because people will buy them with little chance of getting caught. I cover all parts on my bikes with UV pen postcodes, and keep notes of the frame numbers. For the epidemic to end both the thieves and the buyers need to feel there is a much greater chance of getting caught. In Holland and Sweden I believe that bicycle theft is considered far closer to car theft. 

Just my two penneth

Russell Allen


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## juanpelota (5 Oct 2010)

Some very interesting theories about bike theft on this forum. I'm not particularly swayed by the argument which suggests that so long as there's a market for stolen bikes there will always be stolen bikes. It's a bit like the argument for prostitution which says that as long as there are men willing to pay for it, it will always be there. I think that like stolen bikes, this is blame shifting a little. 

If the said prostitute didn't have the 'thing' that these men want, or wasn't prepared to negotiate terms for the use of it, then like the stolen bike, the market would not exist. 

Anyway, the title of this thread was 'How to deal with bike thieves'. My suggestion is this.

Take them to a disused aircraft hangar, somewhere in the middle of Essex or Kent miles from anywhere, hang them from a large hook suspended from a beam in the ceiling. Then apply a liberal dosage of a cat of nine tails, each bearing a one inch nail at the end of each 'tail' which has been soaked in battery acid. Repeat the dose until they're cured.

Might appear a little harsh I know, but s*d all else seems to work.

<tongue in cheek>  <\tongue in cheek>


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## e-rider (6 Oct 2010)

Russell Allen said:


> About 18 years ago when I was a keen motorcyclist, theft of motorcycles was totally rife, you couldnt leave a bike parked anywhere without serious additional security. Anyway to the point ...there was an article/interview in one of the bike magazines about a group of (balaclava clad) guys who used go out at night, to park a bike in a likely spot, then wait quietly in a transit van nearby. I dont have to describe the rest of the scenario but suffice to say we all laughed at the tales of little bike thieving scrotes getting some therapy coutesy of the van load of vigilantes. I'm not advocating this behavior but it did give us a enormous great belly laugh. Bikes are stolen because people will buy them with little chance of getting caught. I cover all parts on my bikes with UV pen postcodes, and keep notes of the frame numbers. For the epidemic to end both the thieves and the buyers need to feel there is a much greater chance of getting caught. In *Holland and Sweden I believe that bicycle theft is considered far closer to car theft*.
> 
> Just my two penneth
> 
> Russell Allen



well, if that is the case it doesn't work becasue bike theft in Holland is high


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## earth (12 Oct 2010)

tundragumski said:


> well, if that is the case it doesn't work becasue bike theft in Holland is high




Bike theft in Holland might be high but I have been to Sweden and seen people get off their bicycle, leave it outside a shop or work place, return to it hours later, get on and ride away. Apparently no locks. Either the penalty is very strict or people just don't need to steal them.


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