# Most unusual thing you've collided with whilst cycling



## Ben M (27 Sep 2013)

On Sunday I had a new cycling experience. Whilst doing just over 50km/h I collided with a rather large object. Thankfully, it hit me in the arm rather than me cycling into it with my wheel. Had I cycled into it I would almost certainly have come off. As it was it was just a heavy thud into my arm, which resulted in me laughing, rather than large amounts of road rash and pain.

So, Mrs. Pheasant who couldn't decide whether she was crossing, or stopping, or crossing, or stopping, thank you for taking flight and not remaining on the road. I hope that you are okay!


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## hopless500 (27 Sep 2013)

I had a good go a few years ago at colliding with a late night dog-walker (with their dog). It was on the way back from a long night at the pub with friends, and for some reason I was drawn like a moth to their torch. Apparently I tried quite a few times to collide with them. Narrowly missed falling into a duckpond about 2 minutes later too. I did once back home have a fairly full-on encounter with a rose bush


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## Crackle (27 Sep 2013)

I had a bike encounter with a pheasant once. I wasn't on the bike though. We had them on top of the car on the way to Coed-y-brenin, when out the corner of my eye I saw the pheasant take off out the hedge. It arced towards us, glanced the side of the car and was catapulted upwards, where it was crucified briefly on the bikes, with a wing on each handlebar before the wind took it. I watched it all in a kind of slow motion horror and saw the crucifixion through the sunroof. In real time it happened in the blink of an eye.


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (27 Sep 2013)

A clubmate


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## jefmcg (27 Sep 2013)

A bat, or similar tiny winged creature hitting me in the chest in the wee small hours in the darkness

(oh and apparently drunks are attracted to lights; thought to be the cause of some head on collisions)


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (27 Sep 2013)

My OH has collided (ran over) a dead hedgehog on a fully loaded touring bike - complained it was slippery 

For me, it was a (live) mountain lemming which I hit whilst cycling along a road near to Alta in Norway. I wanted to adopt it for our tour, but the idea was veto'ed, probably a good idea since one a few weeks later tried gnawing its way into our inner tent leaving me with some repairs to do by hand.

And I frequently get attacked by (real) butterflies for some reason. Don't know why though.


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## Arjimlad (27 Sep 2013)

I cycled into a wasp as I arrived at work today and the damn thing stung me twice in the armpit. Other than that my pedal once collided with the road when I put the wrong foot down on a bend, followed by the rest of the bike and myself after it


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## BigonaBianchi (27 Sep 2013)

a dead armadillo in missouri


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## Hacienda71 (27 Sep 2013)

A bat hit me in the chest a couple of weeks ago. Had a rabbit go under my front wheel on a fast descent. Realised how lucky I was as a friend had crashed when a squirell had got stuck in his front wheel. My mate ended up with a pinned jaw and couldn't eat solid food for a month.


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## Koga (27 Sep 2013)

A Rolls Royce, this was back in the 70's in Holland where RR's were extremely rare, the owner was not impressed with the scratched side panel and two doors (from my steering wheel)....


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## Boris Bajic (27 Sep 2013)

The back of a *stationary milk float* 32 years ago, trying to get a foot into a strap and making the fatal mistake of looking down at speed.

It was very loud and very comical and quite expensive and slightly painful. Before that crash, I'd thought they only brought milk, but I landed on all sorts of assorted chilled and dairy produce.


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## Longshot (27 Sep 2013)

Boris Bajic said:


> The back of a *stationary milk float* 32 years ago, trying to get a foot into a strap and making the fatal mistake of looking down at speed.
> 
> It was very loud and very comical and quite expensive and slightly painful. Before that crash, I'd thought they only brought milk, but I landed on all sorts of assorted chilled and dairy produce.



Did you ever get the strap on?


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## Edwards80 (27 Sep 2013)

Half a teapot. No idea why it was in the road. Was riding through Salford with my Mrs and she neglected to point it out to me when I was behind her. Ripped a big hole in my 5 mile old tyre.

Stayed upright at least . . so I wasn't "Brewsed" (sorry)


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## T4tomo (27 Sep 2013)

Squirrel. it got tangled in the front wheel for about a 3rd of a turn and then shot our in a nice arc, brushed my shoulder and landed back in the woos from whence it came. Very lucky it didn't get jammed in the wheel and throw me off as per above.


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## Supersuperleeds (27 Sep 2013)

Pigeon straight through the front wheel - feathers everywhere, but it flew off.

Squirrel - it ran into the front wheel and just bounced off.

Not on the same day


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## vickster (27 Sep 2013)

Not a collision per se but my second off was as a result of me hoopla'ing my then flatbar around a metal post at the entrance to the rec near me - I took the right hand turn too fast, somehow managed to hook the bike over the post and I ended up on my 'arris on a grass verge. Rather embarrassing, luckily no witnesess to the event which I wouldn't be able to repeat in a million years!


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## ACS (27 Sep 2013)

On my commute home on a very dark, very rural single track road when a deer caught my bike as it crossed behind me. Gave me a fair nudge which took me off road. Thought I had held it up rather well and was a bit smug to be honest until I unclipped, put my foot down expecting a firm surface not a large wet drainage ditch. How the mighty tumbled..............


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## e-rider (27 Sep 2013)

Dragonfly


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## ColinJ (27 Sep 2013)

A fellow cyclist on a training camp on the Costa Blanca!

Being in Spain, we were riding on the RH side of the road. We were riding through the coastal town of Calpe, on a road we had already done about 3 or 4 times earlier in the holiday, so we knew the way, following the coastal road NE towards Moraira.

So, I was at the back of the bunch chatting to a rider on my left. The rest of the group carried straight on at a big roundabout (here), and I went to do the same. The rider I was talking to apparently had other ideas and went to turn right across me. We ended up leaning on each other and wobbling off to the right, before coming to a halt. I asked him what he was playing at and he said that he had decided to go and take a look at the seafront ... _*WTF! *_


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## Born2die (27 Sep 2013)

ACS said:


> On my commuter home on a very dark, very rural single track road when a deer caught my bike as it crossed behind me. Gave me a fair nudge which took me off road. Thought I had held it up rather well and was a bit smug to be honest until I unclipped, put my down expecting a firm surface not a large wet drainage ditch. How the mighty tumbled..............


Sorry I shouldn't laugh but that's so funny


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## lejogger (27 Sep 2013)

A badger. 

Jumped out of a hedge into my foot, scuttled alongside me for a couple of paces and then dived back into the hedge. 

Odd little chap... yet larger than I expected a badger to be.


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## CopperCyclist (27 Sep 2013)

Suicidal pigeon flew into my front wheel once, got flipped round by the spokes and exploded in my forks. Feathers everywhere, but luckily it just gave me a shock rather than a crash.


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## ayceejay (27 Sep 2013)

I had a bike I had put together myself but I couldn't find any brakes I used the side of my heel on the back tyre to slow me down. Late for school I was pushing hard and had to 'brake' half way down a hill to turn right, the friction burned my heel, I yelped and careened across the road. hit the curb and went head first into a privet hedge. Did I collide with the curb or he hedge?


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## Frood42 (27 Sep 2013)

ayceejay said:


> I had a bike I had put together myself but I couldn't find any brakes I used the side of my heel on the back tyre to slow me down. Late for school I was pushing hard and had to 'brake' half way down a hill to turn right, the friction burned my heel, I yelped and careened across the road. hit the curb and went head first into a privet hedge. Did I collide with the curb or he hedge?


 
Not funny , it's not funny , it's not funny , Sorry, can't help it 

I hope you weren't too badly injured (I would say you collided with the kerb).

You just cheered my day up  (which says it all really about my day, thankfully it's Friday  )

I collided with a kerb when I was a teenager, I tried to bunny hop my steel framed, front suspension mountain bike onto the pavement, and ended up over the bars, onto the pavement (thankfully, so some success). No helmet, no gloves, plenty of road rash on the palm of my hands and on the knees, noggin was fine, that taught me a lesson!


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## gavroche (27 Sep 2013)

I ride into thin air all the time, never got hurt.


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## TonyEnjoyD (27 Sep 2013)

Rode into a cyclist back in '95.
Was on a cycle path doing about 20' he had stopped at the side of the oath, looked over his left shoulder and seen his mates topped about 50 metres back, so he just turned his bike, straight across the path!!!
Evidently he hadn't seen me until I crashed straight into his front wheel just in front of the forks and I flew diagonally to the side, just missing a tree.

Apart from a graze on my arm and nettle rash, me and my old Puegot racer were fine
His bike was strangely immobile though - possibly something to do with the mashed front wheel.
His own fault.


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## totallyfixed (27 Sep 2013)

A blind man .


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## Julia9054 (27 Sep 2013)

A flying black bin liner on a very windy day.
Wrapped itself round my head! How I managed to get it off without crashing/falling off I've no idea!


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## surfdude (27 Sep 2013)

three goats got me a couple of weeks ago . just jumped out of the hedge in front of me then ran off into a field on the other side of the road


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## dave r (27 Sep 2013)

Julia9054 said:


> A flying black bin liner on a very windy day.
> Wrapped itself round my head! How I managed to get it off without crashing/falling off I've no idea!



The black bag that got me a few years ago wrapped itself around the rear mech and block, had to almost dismantle the back of the bike to remove it.


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## TheDoctor (27 Sep 2013)

Carrier bag which then went into the rear mech. The back wheel locked, the mech hanger sheared off and I did a swift 180 at 12 mph as the back tyre exploded. That was fun.
Cycling in Portugal, I ran over a dried cod. Nothing untoward happened.
And cycling back from a beer festival in a state of extreme refreshment, my mate almost collided with an ambulance...


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## ColinJ (27 Sep 2013)

I know someone who was riding along the Rochdale canal towpath when he went under a low bridge and forgot to duck! He headbutted the bridge and ended up in the canal, along with his bike ...


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## The Don (27 Sep 2013)

A couple of lamp posts for me.

Not at the same time though!


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## Gravity Aided (28 Sep 2013)

A little multi-tool , and some other thingus I have yet to figure the application of. Like a giant ratcheting wrench. Oh, and a CD of works by John Baptiste Lully, at another spot. I seem to run over useful stuff, except for the giant ratchet thingy, which may be useful once I can divine the purpose of it.


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## Mad Doug Biker (28 Sep 2013)

Numerous things as a kid, including a gate, various assorted bits of street furniture, other cyclists etc etc, and a few years ago as an adult, a fallen tree whilst cycling along a dark cycle path at night..... without any lights....... in a blizzard (so actually the lights wouldn't have helped anyway).

Not very exciting, I know, although I did land in a ditch once!


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## RWright (28 Sep 2013)

totallyfixed said:


> A blind man .


 For some unknown sick reason that made me laugh.


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## stevede (28 Sep 2013)

When I was around 7 or 8, we lived in a pub in Chorlton. My playground for my bike was the large L shaped car park. I came round the corner and collided with an E Type Jag. (back then E Types would have been a lot less desirable than now - seen as big, old & expensive to fix).

My handle bars went straight through the very rusty front wing leaving a rather large hole. I recall he tried to get the cost of a new front end off my dad, but ended up with a fiver for some fibreglass & body filler.


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## Bryony (28 Sep 2013)

My step daughter!! We were riding on the Tarmac cycle track at our local country park and she was getting a little over confident and cocky on her bike she lost control, veered into me (I managed to stay upright) then veered off in the other direction then came back towards me then fell off right in front of me I had no time to react and ran over her fingers!! I felt terrible I thought I'd broken them but luckily she was fine!! And for some weird reason she didn't want to go back to her mum's that day so stayed an extra night with me and her dad!! I thought she'd want to steer clear or me after that


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## Ron-da-Valli (28 Sep 2013)

A sheep on the Isle Of Skye during a tour of Scotland in the late 80's. I was on the drops descending along a minor road to Portree when a sheep decided to get up and cross the road in front of me. It headbutted the back of my hand and bounce off into a ditch. I think the sheep was more shocked than me!!


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## Whiskey88 (28 Sep 2013)

Not sure if this counts, but my own shoelace.

I was about 10-12 years old, my shoelace got caught in the front cogs between the chain and the cogs themselves and somehow flipped me over the handlebars so I landed head-first onto the tarmac.

Thinking about it, this one incident explains a lot about me...


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## tmesis (28 Sep 2013)

I've also collided with a pheasant. I came round a downhill bend at speed an saw it sat on the road directly in my path. It flew up through the handlebars, and smack into my chest, and then off. First reaction was shock, and then disgust as I realised the little blighter had emptied it's bowels all over me...

I also, embarrassingly, once crashed into my garage door in a "seriously misjudged when to start braking" incident.


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## ColinJ (28 Sep 2013)

tmesis said:


> I've also collided with a pheasant. I came round a downhill bend at speed an saw it sat on the road directly in my path. It flew up through the handlebars, and smack into my chest, and then off. First reaction was shock, and then disgust as I realised the little blighter had emptied it's bowels all over me...


Sounds like a most unpheasant experience!


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## delb0y (28 Sep 2013)

A badger. He burst out of the hedge and we collided and then lay on the ground looking at each other. They're quite big. This was, of course, before they shot them all.


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## berty bassett (28 Sep 2013)

today - the back of a 7.5 tonne lorry parked up - not a mark on me or lorry or bike  but boy what a dent in my ego


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## mysticmeg (28 Sep 2013)

On a fully laden tourer a herring gull goes budump budump


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## Hill Wimp (28 Sep 2013)

Xmas day 2012 Udipur India i was nano seconds away from going arse over head over a little donkey. I kid you not. This little donkey was making an escape bid from a convent which was in a parallel street to the one i was in with what seemed like thousands of cars. It fled past me and promptly stopped in the middle of all the cars to eat some fruit a woman was selling in the central reservation.

All day the group i was with kept singing Little Donkey, Little Donkey


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## andrew_s (28 Sep 2013)

gavroche said:


> I ride into thin air all the time, never got hurt.


I rode into thin air once, and it hurt.

At the time,I had a dodgy back light that would go out until I hit it. So I looked back, found the light had gone out, and reached back to the back of my rack to hit it. About the 3rd blow, it came on, so I looked forwards and found that I'd veered from the straight and narrow and was in the process of riding off the road and heading straight for a tree. So I dodged the tree, and then the ground vanished.

The road was built up on a bank across the floodplain, and I'd gone off the road just where there was a culvert under the road. It was about 6 feet down to the water, plus about about a foot of water and 6 inches of mud. The hurt was that I'd still got one hand on the brake hood when the bike landed, and my thumb got bent backwards.
This is it. The bike is where I rode off. If I'd dodged the tree the other side, I'd have hit the end of the bridge parapet, and it would doubtless have hurt more.


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## Koga (4 Oct 2013)

My mothers car...


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## Koga (4 Oct 2013)

Koga said:


> My mothers car...


 
Thank for liking this Mort, I wished my mother did !


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## Frood42 (4 Oct 2013)

Koga said:


> Thank for liking this Mort, I wished my mother did !


 
I wanted to like it too, but, you hit your mothers car! 

I burned the carpet once, but the rug covered that ok


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## ShipHill (4 Oct 2013)

A bit of rusty metal bar about 5mm in diameter and about a foot long that clattered round my back wheel and chipped paint of my seat tube.

I remember many years ago I ran over a huge crowbar with the front wheel of my 900cc Yamaha when I was doing about 30 mph round a bend on a country lane. I didn't come off, but I held on as the handlebars swung side to side quite viciously, heard a load "clang" and stopped to investigate. My exhaust pipe had a very deep dent in it which made me think how close it could have been to hitting my leg and maybe breaking it. I found the crowbar and put it in the hedge out the way.


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## Sara_H (4 Oct 2013)

I collided wit a bridge recently. But that was because I failed to apply the brakes.

http://www.cyclechat.net/threads/if-it-werent-for-my-basket-id-be-dead.134354/#post-2527878


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## chriss2.0 (4 Oct 2013)

for me there are many,

stationary car

a lamppost

and a crow

oh and my foot got sandwedged between a concrete pillar and my pedal while going about 15 mph,
no breaks fortunately

edit:
*in foot*


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## MontyVeda (4 Oct 2013)

probably about 30-40 members of the Salt Ayre running club on the cycle shared use path, taking up the entire width of the track. A few at the front had the decency to yell 'bike' to the rest of the pack... rest of the pack completely ignored what i assumed was suggestion to give the bike a bit of room, and didn't budge. This left me two choices, ride into the joggers or ride into a smelly dyke.


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## andytheflyer (4 Oct 2013)

The golf umbrella that I can't remember why I was carrying on my bike, when a lad many years ago. I equally don't remember how it got loose and went through the front spokes, but it did. The rest is a blur but I do recall that it hurt and I needed new forks.

Close encounter with a badger last night - fortunately it saw the light and veered off (does that count?). Hit one in the car a few years ago and they are mighty resilient! Unlike the car.


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## Bryony (4 Oct 2013)

MontyVeda said:


> probably about 30-40 members of the Salt Ayre running club on the cycle shared use path, taking up the entire width of the track. A few at the front had the decency to yell 'bike' to the rest of the pack... rest of the pack completely ignored what i assumed was suggestion to give the bike a bit of room, and didn't budge. This left me two choices, ride into the joggers or ride into a smelly dyke.


I'd have chosen jiggers!


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## Bryony (4 Oct 2013)

Bryony said:


> I'd have chosen jiggers!


I meant joggers! Stupid phone!!


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## kipster (4 Oct 2013)

When I was a lad, I collided with a a van on a roundabout (well they hit me) the bike stopped I didn't, no damage to me, bike needed front forks (bike was a hand built Holdsworth we picked up from the free ads!). The Holdsworth replace my dad's Falcon that I rode through a pretty solid fence.


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## MontyVeda (4 Oct 2013)

Bryony said:


> I meant joggers! Stupid phone!!



So did I


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## sickboyblue (4 Oct 2013)

MontyVeda said:


> probably about 30-40 members of the Salt Ayre running club on the cycle shared use path, taking up the entire width of the track. A few at the front had the decency to yell 'bike' to the rest of the pack... rest of the pack completely ignored what i assumed was suggestion to give the bike a bit of room, and didn't budge. This left me two choices, ride into the joggers or ride into a smelly dyke.


What if one of the female joggers was a smelly dyke?


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## MontyVeda (4 Oct 2013)

andrew_s said:


> ...
> I'd still got one hand on the brake hood when the bike landed, and my thumb got bent backwards.
> ...



note to self... in the event of a crash... _jazz hands_!


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## Gravity Aided (5 Oct 2013)




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## Gravity Aided (5 Oct 2013)

In other hitting things news, I ran over a packet of three car air fresheners, brand new.
Vanilla.
Miles from anywhere.


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## Mad Doug Biker (5 Oct 2013)

andrew_s said:


> I rode into thin air once, and it hurt.
> 
> At the time,I had a dodgy back light that would go out until I hit it. So I looked back, found the light had gone out, and reached back to the back of my rack to hit it. About the 3rd blow, it came on, so I looked forwards and found that I'd veered from the straight and narrow and was in the process of riding off the road and heading straight for a tree. So I dodged the tree, and then the ground vanished.
> 
> ...


 
You have just confirmed what I have always suspected all along. Lights CAN be dangerous!


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## screenman (5 Oct 2013)

Two naked young women who then dragged me off into the bushes and tried to have their wicked way with me, well I was not standing for that sort of malarkey so I laid down instead.












Only kidding, however I have bumped into 3 lots of dogging going on with lots of flesh on view on 3 occasions now, I suppose the quiet Lincolnshire lanes lends itself quite well to this sort of activity.


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## ColinJ (5 Oct 2013)

screenman said:


> Only kidding, however I have bumped into 3 lots of dogging going on with lots of flesh on view on 3 occasions now, I suppose the quiet Lincolnshire lanes lends itself quite well to this sort of activity.


Well , you know what they say - 'Seek, and ye shall find'!


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## screenman (5 Oct 2013)




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## amaferanga (5 Oct 2013)

Just missed this guy (that's my tyre track) in the Luangwa valley in Zambia. Puff adder. About an hour later I ran over a green snake, probably either a Boomslang or a Greean Mamba, that was sunbathing on the road. I thought it was a a stick until it got angry.


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## classic33 (5 Oct 2013)

A shoe. It still had the persons foot in it. Left behind after an earlier accident. Handed it into the local police station as found property.


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## paulmad (6 Oct 2013)

the leeds liverpool canal, my back tyre burst and i skidded and went straight in  didnt have a single scratch. cheered my mate up too


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## tony111 (6 Oct 2013)

When I were a lad I shut my eyes while riding my bike intending to count to ten , then see where I ended up.I never got to ten, I.'d crossed the road and smashed into a lampost at about six seconds, right in front of a canteen full of women looking through the window. I can still hear em laughing now.


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## nickyboy (7 Oct 2013)

classic33 said:


> A shoe. It still had the persons foot in it. Left behind after an earlier accident. Handed it into the local police station as found property.


WTF ...am I reading this correctly? You ran over a dismembered foot still in its shoe?


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## classic33 (7 Oct 2013)

nickyboy said:


> WTF ...am I reading this correctly? You ran over a dismembered foot still in its shoe?


 There'd been a an accident earlier that evening, and from what I was told it was a bad one. It belonged to one of those involved i the accident. I'd say trying to keep the person alive was more important. But you read correctly.


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## jpj84 (14 Apr 2022)

Back when they were installing the tram tracks out to east Manchester, I was returning back towards the city centre. It's a fairly wide road, but with one side closed for track installation, with temporary lights in place.

I was at the head of the queue as the lights went green, determined not to get caught out, and fall off on the tram track. I was so engrossed by keeping my wheels out of the track that I didn't bother to look ahead, and ploughed straight into the set of lights at the other end of the roadworks. 

About five different drivers parped their horns in appreciation as I disentangled myself.


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## Profpointy (14 Apr 2022)

paulmad said:


> the leeds liverpool canal, my back tyre burst and i skidded and went straight in  didnt have a single scratch. cheered my mate up too



To be fair falling into a river could happen to anyone. I think I lost the debate with my Mrs on the virtues of clipless pedals that day. To be fair she did stop suddenly and I wasn't quite ready !


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## PK99 (14 Apr 2022)

Riding on the road over Epsom Downs, someone was having a garden bonfire, with thick smoke blowing across the road. Decided to ride on through.

Only it wasn't smoke. It was a fully fledged swarm of bees. An interesting experience.


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## Gwylan (16 Apr 2022)

A front door!

In the Ardennes


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## rogerzilla (16 Apr 2022)

I bisected a pigeon on the A420 (while narrowly escaping a similar fate from a convoy of travellers which was passing very closely, and eventually caused me to escape into a layby).


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## taximan (16 Apr 2022)

Riding with a mate on a footpath through a field, we heard what we thought at first was something rumbling. When we looked we were horrified to see a herd of bullocks at full gallop heading straight for us so we made a dash for the nearest hedge-back, where we abandoned the bikes and fought our way through. Unfortunately the hedge was made up with a number of blackthorn bushes and had a barbed wire fence down one side so we came off second best. The bikes survived better than we did even though they were trampled on by a herd of cattle. This happened when I was still at school and I still have the scars to this day. .......................   🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂


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## nickyboy (16 Apr 2022)

One of those really big bolts used to hold HGV wheels on the axle. 

Not a big deal, except it was a big deal as I was doing about 35mph descending the Cat and Fiddle into Buxton. Immediate blow out puncture of front wheel and riding on the rims. Managed to stop it in a straight line just before I got to the crash barriers on a sharp bend. Had to walk into Buxton as tyre was trashed


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## tyred (16 Apr 2022)

I got hit on the cheek by an unidentified small bird that flew out of the hedgerow when descending at speed. I have no idea how or where the bird went but I had a big bruise 

Many years ago, my uncle collided with a black bullock in the dark. He was going down hill at speed and although he had lights, lights 1950's weren't much good and he didn't see the animal standing on the road until it was too late to do anything about it so he hit it and went flying over it's back and he spent the next week picking gravel out of the palms of his hands. The forks were bent on the bike. The bullock continued grazing the roadside verge as if nothing had happened.


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## byegad (16 Apr 2022)

Not exactly collided, but on a railway path in County Durham, while on my recumbent trike, I checked up for a dog and its owner on a long straight section, as he saw me he grabbed the dog and just as I got to him, he let it go. It crossed in front of me and the long lead became entangled with first the chainring, then one of the front wheels. He looked at me as if to say 'why did you do that'? I realised that getting the lead unentangled was going to be a big job, then he started to rant about bloody cyclists. Rather than argue I whipped out my keys, on which I carry a tiny Swiss army knife and cut the lead either side of the trike and departed. The look on his face was something I cherish to this day.

Many years ago, I was 12 or so, I encountered a rather posh lady walking her Dachshund on the pavement. As I neared her, hugging the kerb for an oncoming ICI 8 wheel tanker, it leapt into the road snarling and showing an impressive array of teeth, Braking hard I managed to stop barely in time, pinning the dog to the road with my front wheel. I hadn't run over it, merely pinned it in the middle of the 'sausage'. It went totally ape poo making determined efforts to take a lump out of my ankle while I kept it pinned in order to avoid that outcome. She screamed at me, in upper class English, to roll back and let the dog move I shouted at her, in Heavy Industrial English, to grab the thing and I would. Eventually she grabbed its collar and I pulled back and promptly did one down the road. I suspect it was uninjured and I was grateful to also was intact.


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## Tenacious Sloth (16 Apr 2022)

On a windy day I had a tree fall on me during my commute home.

Luckily, it was the topmost branches that hit me and knocked me off, as I could see the tree starting to come down and moved to the other side of the road. If the main trunk had hit me I may have been a gonner!

As it was I ended up with a few scrapes and a fair bit of damage to my helmet (from the tree, not the road).


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## rogerzilla (16 Apr 2022)

This wasn't me, but I heard of someone who went over the bars when commuting home on a dark, and very cold, winter night. The object: a pile of horse poo that had been there long enough to freeze solid.


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## geocycle (16 Apr 2022)

My most precarious collision was with a rabbit. Normally they are flat or agile whereas this one was frozen solid to the tarmac. Like hitting a brick!


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## 8mph (22 Apr 2022)

In 2019 a large hornet bounced off my forehead in India 😅


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## cyberknight (22 Apr 2022)

bunny hopped a badger on a dark country lane


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## grldtnr (23 Apr 2022)

taximan said:


> Riding with a mate on a footpath through a field, we heard what we thought at first was something rumbling. When we looked we were horrified to see a herd of bullocks at full gallop heading straight for us so we made a dash for the nearest hedge-back, where we abandoned the bikes and fought our way through. Unfortunately the hedge was made up with a number of blackthorn bushes and had a barbed wire fence down one side so we came off second best. The bikes survived better than we did even though they were trampled on by a herd of cattle. This happened when I was still at school and I still have the scars to this day. .......................   🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂



What? A load of bullocks!


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## presta (23 Apr 2022)

totallyfixed said:


> A blind man


I was cycling past a care home once as one of the residents was stood waiting to cross the road. I had no reason to think he hadn't seen me, but just as I passed he stepped off the kerb, and my left shoulder hit him square on the jaw. As I screeched to a halt, I turned and saw him spitting out a mouthful of broken false teeth. Fortunately he was unhurt apart from that. (he wasn't blind, he just hadn't seen me.)


TheDoctor said:


> Carrier bag which then went into the rear mech. The back wheel locked, the mech hanger sheared off and I did a swift 180 at 12 mph as the back tyre exploded.


I once set off from my last butty stop of the day at Castle Park Colchester without fastening one of the pannier straps. I rode 16 miles home without any problem, then as I turned off the drive onto the patio at the back of the house it got chewed into the rear derailleur. No harm done, just a greasy strap to clean up.


ColinJ said:


> I know someone who was riding along the Rochdale canal towpath when he went under a low bridge and forgot to duck! He headbutted the bridge and ended up in the canal, along with his bike ...


I once slipped on mud on the towpath at Skipton, but went down the embankment, not into the drink.


Whiskey88 said:


> my shoelace got caught in the front cogs between the chain and the cogs themselves and somehow flipped me over the handlebars


I've had several laces get caught in the chainring, but they've always snapped rather than throwing me off. Nowadays I always tuck them into my shoes. On one occasion I had the bottom of my trouser leg drop over the end of the cotter pin, and then get wound round the crank, pedalling backwards fixed that.


screenman said:


> Only kidding, however I have bumped into 3 lots of dogging going on with lots of flesh on view on 3 occasions now, I suppose the quiet Lincolnshire lanes lends itself quite well to this sort of activity.


Once when I stopped for a pee near Slimbridge hostel I heard a couple hastily trying to get dressed on the other side of the hedge...


amaferanga said:


> View attachment 259375
> 
> 
> Just missed this guy (that's my tyre track) in the Luangwa valley in Zambia. Puff adder. About an hour later I ran over a green snake, probably either a Boomslang or a Greean Mamba, that was sunbathing on the road. I thought it was a a stick until it got angry.


The first adder I ever saw was dead where it had been run over by a bike, and the second went completely unnoticed until it suddenly recoiled out from under my size 12 boot as I was about to tread on it. It had all the excuse it needed to strike, but it didn't, and I've had a bit of a liking for adders ever since.


tony111 said:


> When I were a lad I shut my eyes while riding my bike intending to count to ten , then see where I ended up.I never got to ten, I.'d crossed the road and smashed into a lampost at about six seconds, right in front of a canteen full of women looking through the window. I can still hear em laughing now.


I was suddenly taken by an urge to see if I could ride between the double yellow lines without touching them. I'd been doing quite well, concentrating on looking down between my legs, when all of a sudden there was a clunk, and I found myself on the roof of a parked car. Fortunately the blokes in the car were more embarrassed about being parked on a double yellow line than I was about being on the roof of their car.


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## grldtnr (23 Apr 2022)

I once almost parked my front wheel between Sir Douglas Hurds' arse cheeks whilst doing a Audax out in Oxfordshire, he was remarkably sanquine about it at the time.
In my defence I was going downhill, it was wet & a narrow country lane, he was walking in the road, there wasn't a footpath, but I think I gave his protection officers, the wobbles, I wasn't that enamoured myself, being a staunch Labour voter!
It seems the Lord Hurd is still around, no doubt still avoiding careering cyclists down country lanes.
Not a collision as such , but a narrow squeak, whether as home Sec , Lord Hurd would have absolved me from prosecution ,I really don't know.


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## Hover Fly (23 Apr 2022)

In France what I thought was a lump of tar on the road was a red eared terrapin. I couldn’t miss it and ran right over it. It wound its head in for a while then continued it plod towards our pond.


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## cyberknight (23 Apr 2022)

The hedgerow that broke my collarbone was very unusual


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## Jim Cardiff (28 Apr 2022)

cyberknight said:


> The hedgerow that broke my collarbone was very unusual



A settee! It was being carried accross the village road by 2 people struggling with the weight. Fortunately I stopped in time otherwise it would have been even heavier.


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## Scotchlovingcylist (28 Apr 2022)

I once ride through some freshly laid tar when I was about 16.
I couldn't apologise enough although it fell on, rightly so, deaf ears.
Rode off fairly sharply and meekish, surprisingly with unaffected tyres.


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## Peter88 (30 Apr 2022)

Going to work at 3:30am hit a badger that had run into the road, I think it was chasing the circle of light on the road from one of my lights and I hit it with the front wheel.
Resulted in a damaged helmet, bent glasses, 2 day old bar tape needed replacing and I still have scars on my left shoulder 2 years later.


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