# Drink Problem



## Rooster1 (19 Jul 2021)

Since the pandemic i've managed to get into some bad ways with alchohol.

Basically, if it is in the house I drink it - Beer, Wine etc
When it's not in the house I will buy a few cans, and drink them all.
I can go a whole week without anything, but on a Friday I can down 4 cans of San Miguel and then I don't want to ride on the Saturday.
I HAVE to tone it down. If I buy less, or none, that helps.
I seem to have a reliance on it, and it so expensive to drink too.

The Euro 2020 matches havent helped, I seemed to think it was OK to watch nearly every match and to have lots of beer each time.

Arghhhh.


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## vickster (19 Jul 2021)

Try stopping for a month. Or at least swapping to alcohol free?


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## cyberknight (19 Jul 2021)

I have a similar issue although i only drink 1 a day , if its in the house i will but if not i am not that bothered .I keep meaning to stop completely but when i am feeling down i reach for a can which is against how i used to be


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## Cycleops (19 Jul 2021)

I got into a similar situation during lockdown but I’ve now knocked it on the head. I’ve replaced it with home blended fruit juice and smoothies. We’re luck to have a very good blender and it reduces everything to juice. Also lucky to have cheap fresh fruit here, pineapple, mango, paw paw etc. Be more expensive there but cheaper than wine and beer. I don’t crave alcohol any more.
Alcohol is also bad for prostate if you have problems with it.


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## Drago (19 Jul 2021)

Im similar. If its there, ill guzzle it. But curiously, if its not I don't shed a tear. A coupke times a year ill go months without touching a drop, so i guess im not dependent.

One thing I love more than Guinness...sparkling mineral water. I have a serious consumptuon problem with that.


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## vickster (19 Jul 2021)

You don’t have to drink alcohol in a pub to socialise


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## derrick (19 Jul 2021)

vickster said:


> You don’t have to drink alcohol in a pub to socialise


That depends on who your socialising with.


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (19 Jul 2021)

derrick said:


> That depends on who your socialising with.


A lot of people would require me to be about 6 beers deep before I could tolerate them, that's at a push


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## vickster (19 Jul 2021)

Not really, no. Im not teetotal but I often give up alcohol for the first few months of the year. Pre pandemic I’d happily go out to eat or to the pub with drinking friends. they never have an issue.


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## Milkfloat (19 Jul 2021)

Try not to have much in the house, or work really hard to ration yourself to one a day, with a treat day once a week with a couple more. Luckily the only long sporting event left this summer is the olympics and you would have to really have a problem if you were drinking at 7am watching qualification of the last 16 of dressage (horse dancing). You could also try joining a cycling club and going out on the fast rides a few times a week. There is nothing like that to stop you drinking.


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## DCLane (19 Jul 2021)

Recognition is the first step. Next is doing something about it - I'm afraid that's much harder.

I'm now 11 years off alcohol and don't miss it.


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## yello (19 Jul 2021)

I've stopped. A couple of years back. I miss it though; there's something about a slow, gentle descent into drunken silliness with friends that lifted me. Plus, it's not nice being the only non-drinker. I was at lunch with our neighbours at couple of weekends ago, our host got hammered and rambled on and on and on. It really wasn't much fun for me. Others (drinkers) were ok.

I had to stop though. Drink messed with my head too much; beyond the ordinary "gentle descent" that is. It started making me more anxious, more neurotic - as walls around my head closed in. It wasn't pleasant. So I called an end to the era. Fun while it lasted.

Making the transition is difficult with others that know you used to drink. They offer, look at you almost incredulous when you say 'no', ask for reasons, or guess at them... makes it that bit harder to abstain. Fortunately, the habit aspect of it has kicked in for me now. I think I'm happy with my non-drinker status.


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## All uphill (19 Jul 2021)

yello said:


> I've stopped. A couple of years back. I miss it though; there's something about a slow, gentle descent into drunken silliness with friends that lifted me. Plus, it's not nice being the only non-drinker. I was at lunch with our neighbours at couple of weekends ago, our host got hammered and rambled on and on and on. It really wasn't much fun for me. Others (drinkers) were ok.
> 
> I had to stop though. Drink messed with my head too much; beyond the ordinary "gentle descent" that is. It started making me more anxious, more neurotic - as walls around my head closed in. It wasn't pleasant. So I called an end to the era. Fun while it lasted.
> 
> Making the transition is difficult with others that know you used to drink. They offer, look at you almost incredulous when you say 'no', ask for reasons, or guess at them... makes it that bit harder to abstain. Fortunately, the habit aspect of it has kicked in for me now. I think I'm happy with my non-drinker status.


I agree that the transition can be difficult with others; I found "I'll just have one" didn't work. Instead I stopped completely three years ago, and just said " no thanks, no thanks, no, NO!"

I can't imagine starting again. I'm much more content like this.


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## vickster (19 Jul 2021)

shep said:


> No you don't but it's much more fun when you do!
> 
> In my humble opinion obviously.


Except the OP was posting about his concerns about drinking too much at home


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## Rooster1 (19 Jul 2021)

Buy less, drink less. I'll give it a go. I wanted to do a month off, that was what I told myself, but I didn't last a week. 
I guess like smoking, a gradual reduction is probably going to be more successful in the long run for me.
I am totally sick of it, I wan't to cut it down to a reasonable, normal, manageable and acceptable amount. 

P.S. I don't get silly or drunk, I don't drink it all fast / at once, but it definately affects me and my family to a certain degree. I'll be a bt grumpy the next day rather than chilled and in control.

thanks all


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## vickster (19 Jul 2021)

Why not turn your lager into shandy, at least then you’re getting all the calories but half the alcohol units?


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## PeteXXX (19 Jul 2021)

I stopped drinking a year ago last May. It was more the _thought _of not drinking any more than actually not drinking! 
I'm quite as happy with soft drinks, or coffee, now. 
Occasionally, when the weather is hot and sunny, I think a cold one or a bottle of wine might be nice, but it might set me off again. 

Good suggestion by @vickster re shandy!

Good luck giving up/cutting down


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## Arrowfoot (19 Jul 2021)

At this stage, don't go cold turkey as it usually leads to binge drinking. Target a day in the week, get a can or two and look forward to it. Make it a routine. Stick to that day religiously and don't change. The approach is addressing your ability to control the situation.


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## Andy in Germany (19 Jul 2021)

Rooster1 said:


> Since the pandemic i've managed to get into some bad ways with alchohol.
> 
> Basically, if it is in the house I drink it - Beer, Wine etc
> When it's not in the house I will buy a few cans, and drink them all.
> ...



You've made a good first step: you realise it's a problem. Well done: many don't get that far.


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## Tenkaykev (19 Jul 2021)

There are some excellent low alcohol beers from small craft breweries available. They were dishing out Erdinger at the finish of the Berlin half marathon a few years back and it was a revelation, if you'd told me it was 0.5% I wouldn't have believed it. Adnams " Ghost Ship " is a nice refreshing hoppy ale with a hint of citrus, again 0.5%. There's a lot more available than was once the case, it might be worth finding one that suits your taste buds and sticking with that? 
Very best wishes 👍


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## Julia9054 (19 Jul 2021)

Tenkaykev said:


> There are some excellent low alcohol beers from small craft breweries available.


I recommend this excellent company 
https://wisebartender.co.uk/
I don't drink during the week but I often drink too much at weekends. I don't seem to be able to crack the "one or two glasses of wine and then stop" thing so every couple of months I have a month or two not drinking completely.


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## AuroraSaab (19 Jul 2021)

Some people are moderators, some are abstainers. My other half can just decide not to eat chocolate or cake and will stop completely. I struggle to moderate myself. Like the op with drink, if there is an (open) bar of chocolate in the house I'm not satisfied until it's gone.

If you are someone like me, who has tried for years to moderate themselves, the answer will always be that you are better off abstaining altogether or setting rules for when you can eat or drink. 

If you don't want to give something up completely, 'If ... then..' is a good system. eg.

If I'm at the cinema, then I can eat chocolate. 
If I'm at a party, then I can have a drink.
If I'm on a bike ride, then I can have cake.

If you can moderate yourself but want to cut back, counting down instead of up can work. ie. your limit is say 3 drinks, so count down - 3, 2, 1, instead of up to 3. Psychologically, it's easier to say 'Just one more won't hurt...' than to have another one once you've used up your 'allocation' for the night. 

Lots of good tips on building habits in James Clear's book 'Atomic Habits', and Gretchen Rubin's 'Better Then Before'. Easy to find out what to do, but hard to make it stick though.


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## ianrauk (19 Jul 2021)

Thank your lucky stars that you haven't got an out of control drink problem rather than you like a few cans of an evening.
Alcoholism is a terrible disease that robbed me of one of my best friends a few years back and is slowly taking the life of another (he's only just out of hospital with severe kidney damage).
Good luck on cutting back on your alcohol intake.


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## rogerzilla (19 Jul 2021)

SO is a (dry) alcoholic and would strongly recommend AA. She thinks I'm weird as I can genuinely take it or leave it! I rarely drink, and it's generally only one, as I don't like the dehydration or the hangovers.


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## MontyVeda (19 Jul 2021)

Rooster1 said:


> Buy less, drink less. I'll give it a go. I wanted to do a month off, that was what I told myself, but I didn't last a week.
> I guess like smoking, a gradual reduction is probably going to be more successful in the long run for me.
> I am totally sick of it, I wan't to cut it down to a reasonable, normal, manageable and acceptable amount.
> 
> ...


buy a couple of cans instead of four and don't crack the 1st one open 'til after 9pm?

I guess that strategy depends on how close the off-licence is and what time it closes. Good luck


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## Dogtrousers (19 Jul 2021)

I've been teetotal for about 15 years now. I don't know you so don't have specific advice but ...


Julia9054 said:


> I recommend this excellent company
> https://wisebartender.co.uk/


I too recommend wisebartender.


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## Big John (19 Jul 2021)

I read many years ago that drinking alcohol was bad for you. After some serious consideration I gave it up. I've not read anything since.


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## Justified_Sinner (19 Jul 2021)

Rooster1 said:


> Basically, if it is in the house I drink it - Beer, Wine etc



I got to a point in my twenties when I had to face up to the fact that I had become an alcoholic. It took friends shouting at me and pouring my booze down the sink to make me realise that there really was a problem. In a way, you're in a much better position because it sounds as if you've realised it sooner than most. 
I had to ensure that there was no alcohol in the house in order to stop or I'd backslide. I also have to be honest and say that I had to stop going to pubs as well as the temptation was too great and even today, I don't like to go into pubs. Maybe you'll be OK. It is a personal journey but in my experience, most people do have the strength to stop if they want to and there is no shame in asking for help with that, no matter how difficult that is.
I replaced alcohol with endurance mountain-biking eventually (Polaris and the like)!
I've not had a drink since January 2nd 1991and I've lost count of how long I've spent on my bike. 
I'm not sure if that helps but I hope you can take something useful from it.


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## PaulSB (19 Jul 2021)

@Rooster1 I fully understand and empathise with you on this one. My experience is exactly the same. I have always enjoyed the occasional glass of whisky of an evening, perhaps once or twice a week. My other alcohol would be a G&T with my wife on Friday and/or Saturday night, perhaps a glass of wine. I found I was drinking a whisky every evening, then two and so on. I was never drunk, it was never excessive and it was purely through utter boredom. I've put on 3kgs on my waist which I am very unhappy about and the extra weight, in my mind, has impacted my hill climbing. 

I became very unhappy about it, almost depressed, until one day a couple of cycling buddies asked me what was wrong. I explained and they understood. Telling people gave me a greater incentive to stop. I'm back to once or twice a week. I'm drinking plenty of water during the day and tonic water with lime, orange etc. of an evening. I haven't shifted the extra weight yet but I'm confident that will happen.

There are tens of thousands of people "suffering" some sort of excess brought on by lockdown. You're not alone. Find a comfortable way to do it, not cold turkey. Good luck.


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## yello (20 Jul 2021)

yello said:


> Making the transition is difficult with others that know you used to drink.



My neighbour came around today. "I need a favour" he said "there's a beer in it for you"


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## yello (20 Jul 2021)

PaulSB said:


> I'm drinking plenty of water during the day and tonic water with lime,



I've recently switched to tonic with a few slices of fresh ginger. The 2 tastes work really well toghether


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## D_97_goodtimes (20 Jul 2021)

Teamwork 
Every now and then I read about someone who has lost lots of weight Or completed a marathon etc. My example concerns a chap who lost loads of weight. He spoke to the coach, attended all of the zoom sessions followed a diet plan, walked the kids to school. The results are impressive but he did not do this all by himself. His family and friends adjusted to his 0630 fitness sessions, they accepted the walking to and from school. Professional advice and support was provided by the coach.
Advice - no not from me but you seem to have taken a couple of steps - perhaps involving others may make the next steps a little bigger.


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## youngoldbloke (20 Jul 2021)

I've lost 25% of my weight since cutting out alcohol almost exactly 17 years ago, but gained thousands of Pounds of the other sort . Doesn't that thought tempt you? I had a big problem, going on many years. It was affecting my health and family life. I drank to get drunk. I knew that I couldn't have just one drink, couldn't keep booze at home, I needed to manage high cholesterol and managed to cut down and stop completely, without ill effect. I missed the pub and my befuddled drinking buddies, but soon realised there was little we had in common other than alcohol. In the end it is the only way, abstain completely. Good luck.


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## stephec (20 Jul 2021)

I used to have a couple of cans every night, then I dropped Tuesdays and Thursdays, then added Monday, and finally Wednesday as well.

Now I still have the same amount at weekends as I had before, but going from seven nights to three means my overall for the week is way down, and it's usually after nine before I start so that there's only a limited time available. 

Every now and again I might have something on a week night if the situation arises, I just make sure it's a good reason and not an easy excuse.


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## neil_merseyside (21 Jul 2021)

We only drink at the weekends now, so consuming on 3/7ths of previous opurtunities, also starting later in the day to further reduce intake. I could abstain now whereas before we reduced to just weekends I'd never have contemplated that, lost a bit of weight and saved lots of money.


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## yello (21 Jul 2021)

youngoldbloke said:


> In the end it is the only way, abstain completely.



With my serious hat on, I'd say that it is the best option for some (most?) The damage caused by alcohol, across a numer of measures (no pun intended) is considerable. I've no doubt that that kind of statement will outrage many who, I readily acknowledge, can drink both with moderation and good sense.


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## Ming the Merciless (21 Jul 2021)

youngoldbloke said:


> In the end it is the only way, abstain completely.



If you have an addictive personality then yes. Otherwise low to moderate is fine as it won’t lead to heavier drinking


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## Fab Foodie (21 Jul 2021)

yello said:


> My neighbour came around today. "I need a favour" he said "there's a beer in it for you"


Can he send it to me?


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## yello (21 Jul 2021)

Fab Foodie said:


> Can he send it to me?


Do you like Lidl's lager?


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## Fab Foodie (21 Jul 2021)

yello said:


> Do you like Lidl's lager?


I’ll manage ;-)


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## Rooster1 (23 Jul 2021)

Update: Much better week this week despite Wife going to A&E and other stresses - only had two small beers on Thursday Evening with a meal. 
This weekend is unfortunately / fortunately my Daughters birthday so we are going out this evening. 
I can't (and won't) have anything at the weekend so that is good news.
I feel I might be turning a corner, but it is very early days.

Thank you all for your support - I can say it has 100 % helped reading all your anecdotes and advice.


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## NorthernSky (26 Jul 2021)

Rooster1 said:


> Update: Much better week this week despite Wife going to A&E and other stresses - only had two small beers on Thursday Evening with a meal.
> This weekend is unfortunately / fortunately my Daughters birthday so we are going out this evening.
> I can't (and won't) have anything at the weekend so that is good news.
> I feel I might be turning a corner, but it is very early days.
> ...


good news
i was a bit like you, i would be in Tesco / Lidl buying the shopping and find myself in the beer section habitually buying 4 cans or whatever for the weekend. it was routine, like buying the milk. 
i enjoyed the buzz from those but could feel it slightly the next day. my alcohol relationship is long but anyway, i just ended up quitting completely, it was the only way for me. i found it rather easy in the end. the biggest issue is going to gatherings where others are drinking. that's where alcohol free beers work a treat. i actually had one with my birthday meal a few days ago. they allow you to join in but stay sober. one to consider as they have helped me to transition to a non drinker


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## All uphill (26 Jul 2021)

yello said:


> My neighbour came around today. "I need a favour" he said "there's a beer in it for you"


I'm our neighbourhood's handy bicycle repair person. I'll fix any bike that is suitably low tech for anyone who asks nicely.

I've lost count of the number of times I've told people that I don't drink, but nearly every repair results in a bottle of wine. It helps me understand just how deeply alcohol is embedded in our society.


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## Electric_Andy (26 Jul 2021)

I've had the same problem since the start of lockdown. Drinking at home maybe 3 or 4 nights a week, and often all day on a saturday and/or sunday when I don't have my boy at home. It's getting better now we can go out for walks etc (good weather helps) but I still probbaly get through a bottle of JD a week. Part of me thinks "this is unhealthy", whereas the other part of me thinks "I'm not doing anyone any harm, and life is too short". There is a massive list of why I drink, so I think finding the main reasons why and eradicating them is a good start


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## Andy in Germany (26 Jul 2021)

All uphill said:


> I'm our neighbourhood's handy bicycle repair person. I'll fix any bike that is suitably low tech for anyone who asks nicely.
> 
> I've lost count of the number of times I've told people that I don't drink, but nearly every repair results in a bottle of wine. It helps me understand just how deeply alcohol is embedded in our society.



I get this too: I don't drink and never have, but when people don't know what to get, wine is what they think of. Admittedly this is wine growing region, but still...


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## yello (26 Jul 2021)

Yep, "we" get given bottles of wine for looking after a friend's dog. My wife doesn't complain.


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