# Alcohol free Christmas



## The Brewer (28 Dec 2014)

Its been hard, very hard, but I'm good so far.

I stopped in the summer, 26th July. I was drinking way way too much and Mrs B was getting a bit fed up to say the least. I love beer, wine and spirits. Well any alcohol really, my habit / relationship with it though wasn't healthy and getting worse. Drinking 8-10 pints and not really feeling drunk. Expensive too.
Evenings have been the problem, guess because that's when I drank. Changed my usual routine, pottered around the house, worked on the bike, went for a ride and bought a turbo for the crappy weather nights.
I'm not saying I'll never drink again, but after a year of being off the booze I'll think things over and asses my lifestyle again. Been to the pub a few times, just drank lime and soda
I've lost a little weight and my fitness has improved a bit. Just started running.....ouch my legs hurt
My new addictions are coffee and chocolate eclairs........ mmmmmmm
Love having a clear head all the time and waking up in the morning feeling refreshed. Roll on the spring and early mornings.
If you give up the booze for new years, it does get easy and rewarding.....I'll stop wittering on

Sean


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## threebikesmcginty (28 Dec 2014)

Shouldn't you change your name to The Percolator?

If it works for you though, well done.


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## BrianEvesham (28 Dec 2014)

Been alcohol free for over two years now, know what you mean about clear head in the morning
Doubt I'll go back to the pop.


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## dan_bo (28 Dec 2014)

Them choccy éclairs'll finish you off.


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## The Brewer (28 Dec 2014)

Maybe I should change my name, I do like The Percolator


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## Turbo Rider (28 Dec 2014)

Congrats  I'm alcohol free and have been for about a year and a half, though alcohol wasn't really a problem for me in the first place. I just kept finding myself in odd situations or around people I didn't want to be around and had other things to be getting on with. My body feels a heck of a lot better without it though.


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## twentysix by twentyfive (28 Dec 2014)

Alcohol is a poison. For historic reasons it's "acceptable". I do like getting slowly sloshed but I don't do it very often at all. I hadn't had any booze for some months. Christmas has changed that with some glasses of wine - and tonight - my first beer in ages. When the current "cellar" has been eventually emptied I'll be booze free again for quite some time probably.


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## twentysix by twentyfive (28 Dec 2014)

BTW - well done that man for breaking a destructive habit


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## The Brewer (28 Dec 2014)

twentysix by twentyfive said:


> Alcohol is a poison. For historic reasons it's "acceptable". I do like getting slowly sloshed but I don't do it very often at all. I hadn't had any booze for some months. Christmas has changed that with some glasses of wine - and tonight - my first beer in ages. When the current "cellar" has been eventually emptied I'll be booze free again for quite some time probably.



That's how I'd like to be with booze, just every now and then and leave it without cravings in the following days. 
Nice long break from it is the plan and see how I go from a year off it


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## Piemaster (28 Dec 2014)

I've been alcohol free over the period. Not from choice though - work on a 'dry' ship. It how things are and it doesn't bother me most of the time, however...
It's 35 C outside, warmer inside and it's been a tough day. There are occasions when an ice cold beer is entirely appropriate.

I'm convinced a couple of beers (and I do mean a couple of small tins) would be better for my health than what is available - Coke, 7Up, etc. free and readily available (fruit juices too come to it) I do find my self drinking a lot of it quite quickly. Stuff seems more addictive than alcohol. I can limit beer intake a lot easier and am more inclined to take my time over it than slurping it down.


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## raleighnut (28 Dec 2014)

I know what you mean as I too had got to the point of not really feeling 'pished' after large quantities of booze but now I've got that to the point where (having cut down) I know that I'm not gonna get that feeling but I do enjoy the 'mouth feel and taste but can finish drinking after 1, 2 or more without it really bothering me to carry on chasing that 'balancing on a knife edge' feeling, as that was the way I drank for years on 'benders' that could last for several days due to my working life (7 days on/7 days off 12 hour nightshifts for 14 years)
This Christmas I opened a bottle of Single Malt and 5 days later there is still a few drams left (it'd have struggled to last overnight before). Some people can cut down but others do have to stop I just hate the term 'Alky' being dropped on people or the comment "they fell of the 'wagon' for a bit but they're all right now" as I believe that far too much emphasis is put on the "you must stop" compared to the option of knowing its getting a bit much and just cutting it down.
I'd be very unhappy if I couldn't have a beer or two during a bike ride or a glass or 3 of wine with a meal, but now I get to the point where I can say "enough, you're not gonna feel any different" so just stop.


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## TVC (28 Dec 2014)

Good work Brewer.


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## BigonaBianchi (28 Dec 2014)

No booze for me in 8 years or more....don't miss it at all...did have a beer on lejog two years ago and felt cruddy next day...out here most ex pats are heavy boozers...to my mind alcohol is as anti social and dangerous as cigarette smoking and drugs. Those that drink will always have an excuse why it's ok and how they don't have a problem, but only the strong can give it up. Most will find any reason to continue thier weakness.


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## The Brewer (28 Dec 2014)

Oh I used to have lots of excuses why I drank, all rubbish


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## Drago (28 Dec 2014)

Only 2 small bottles of beer this Christmas. Mrs D is having a bit of an MS relapse so I need to stay with it. I virtually, but not quite, don't drink at all these days.


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## vernon (28 Dec 2014)

The Brewer said:


> Oh I used to have lots of excuses why I drank, all rubbish



I don't need an excuse to drink nor do I need an excuse to stop. I drink when I feel like it. I abstain when i feel like it. Pretty normal behaviour I guess.


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## Cuchilo (28 Dec 2014)

BigonaBianchi said:


> No booze for me in 8 years or more....don't miss it at all...did have a beer on lejog two years ago and felt cruddy next day...out here most ex pats are heavy boozers...to my mind alcohol is as anti social and dangerous as cigarette smoking and drugs. Those that drink will always have an excuse why it's ok and how they don't have a problem, but only the strong can give it up. Most will find any reason to continue thier weakness.



It looks to me like you have the problem . I find this a lot with my friends , they comment on my lifestyle but their own problems come to light with what they are saying .
It does make me smile when people think I have the same problems as they do .


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## BigonaBianchi (28 Dec 2014)

Cuchilo said:


> It looks to me like you have the problem . I find this a lot with my friends , they comment on my lifestyle but their own problems come to light with what they are saying .
> It does make me smile when people think I have the same problems as they do .



...and my problem is??


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## Cuchilo (28 Dec 2014)

BigonaBianchi said:


> ...and my problem is??


You wear lycra and think you look good ?


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## Custom24 (29 Dec 2014)

To the op, yes it does get easier. This is my third christmas since I went tee total. The first one I had my arm twisted into sharing a bottle of wine, but that was the last time. It is ironically an easier path for me to travel to be tee total than to try to keep it to a sensible amount, because of the inevitable arm twisting from friends and family. That's mainly my weakness, but it's also easier to just say no and mean no.

The other thing that gets easier is missing the booze. In my case, I found that all I was really missing was the taste of the first sip, be it wine, beer or whiskey. After that first sip, the taste can never for me be recaptured, probably because of taste and smell receptors being saturated or something. I can live without that first sip taste.

I have mixed feelings about whether I miss the feeling of actually being intoxicated. On balance, there have been more occasions in my life where being intoxicated has caused me problems, I think, than merited by the dubious enjoyment of it.

Going back to the taste, it is true that there are few interesting beverages with the same level of tastebud interest. Alcohol free beers are actually ok, and this Christmas I have found that dealcoholised wine, available from Sainsbury's, makes decent mulled wine, and is fairly interesting as a drink in its own right. It's quite an unusual and refreshing feeling, having had a glass, to be completely neutral about having another,


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## Aperitif (29 Dec 2014)

vernon said:


> I don't need an excuse to drink nor do I need an excuse to stop. I drink when I feel like it. I abstain inthe when i feel like it. Pretty normal behaviour I guess.


FTFY


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## Pale Rider (29 Dec 2014)

Almost no booze for me for about two years after too many years of heavy drinking.

This year, my consumption has been couple of pints of real ale while staying at my brother's lodge near Shrewsbury in the summer, and a bottle of lager on Christmas night in a hotel in Sheffield.

I enjoyed the real ale, but not the lager.

If I wanted to drink more, I would, although there's no denying I am pleased with myself for drinking so little.

The only problem I have is on the rare occasions when I socialise for several hours at a time, I get fed up - and close to physically sick - of diet cola.

Never occurs to me to try other soft drinks in a pub, that might be a legacy of my alcohol days when a man drank the beer he drank and everyone knew what it was.


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## paul04 (29 Dec 2014)

I don't drink at all, I remember when I got my 1st car at 17, and my dad saying to me "don't drink and drive"
When I was young I did enjoy having a car, knocking around with mates, modifying cars, then girls came along,

Then family life, looking after the kids as they was growing up, driving the car here, there and everywhere.
Now kids all grown up, the car was sold and now cycling and photography occupy my time


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## BigonaBianchi (29 Dec 2014)

Cuchilo said:


> You wear lycra and think you look good ?



And the problem with that is?


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## citybabe (29 Dec 2014)

I stopped drinking a couple of years ago. At the time I was quite capable of finishing a bottle of JD over the weekend and every weekend.
I've gotten to the age where hangovers can last 2 or 3 days and I was fed up with feeling $hitty. 
I can't say I miss drinking at all and I feel better for waking up with a clear head


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## solitaire (29 Dec 2014)

I gave up years ago and it's one of the best things I ever did.
You see people rolling into work looking like crap, unable to function for a few hours and feeling ill,
where as I ride to work and get loads done by the time they've recovered but each to their own as I always say.


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## SpokeyDokey (29 Dec 2014)

Nasty addiction - I cry inside when I see families torn apart by alcoholism.

***

From about 8-20 years of age (mid 60's to mid 70's) my mum, brother and I were witness to the ravages of this condition.

I have vivid memories of my 2 years younger brother and I sitting up on the landing in the early dark hours listening to my parents screaming and fighting downstairs - we used to sit there huddled together crying as my mum was systematically beaten by my alcoholic father.

This went on for years maybe 3 -4 times a week. My poor mum was always bruised and battered. Why she 'stuck it out' I'll never know - she is long dead now.

As time went by my brother and I became the target of the physical abuse and it was tough to deal with - he used to punch us, kick us and spit verbal abuse.

The Police came and went, came and went, came and went, they never really did anything - I don't think Social Services really existed back then.

I remember the worst night was when I was about 14. Around 2 in the morning it had been going on for hours. My mum had been beaten, my 12 year old brother had taken a couple of heavy punches and I had been headbutted and was bleeding from the temple. We were all in the kitchen and my mum had been boiling a kettle of water. She suddenly picked it up and threw it at my father - he screamed as the water hit his chest (he was wearing one of those white mesh vests men used to wear way back and he coudn't get it off so he just burned and burned). I remember that scream well. I remember his skin reddening and blistering and then I remember his rage.

We had a huge tropical fish tank in our kitchen and my father put his fist through it and then there was the surreal sight of all these brightly coloured fish flopping around on the kitchen floor. Amidst all the mess and violence I remember wondering if the fish could be saved - I felt sorry for them.

My still screaming father then grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and tried to stab my mum with it and then something just snapped in me.

I was quite a big 14 year old and I remember jumping onto my father's back and down he went hitting his head hard on a radiator - I remember three things, his scream, his blood and his snot. My father was snorting mess everywhere. Blood was puddling on the floor.

I held him down around the throat for what seemed like ages. My brother was kicking him. My mother was punching him. He was thrashing about. It was a slow motion nightmare. I wanted him to die.

Fortunately the neighbors had called the Police who at that moment just crashed through the front door. They came in and they calmed things down and took my father away for the night.

As I say, an awful night. We were still in shock in the morning and I remember my mum keeping us off school for the day.

This went on and on for years. Until the night my brother (who by then was a very large and strong young man) witnessed a savage attack on my mother. I was not at home that night.

I later learned that my brother had 'dealt' with the situation. My father left home the next day and never returned. To this day my brother has never spoken of what happened the latter part of that night.

Initially my father went to live with his own mother and many years later died as a homeless alcoholic in a municipal park. What an end for a highly intelligent and artistic man.

I smiled when I learned of his death. I still smile now when I think of his death. Don't judge me too harshly for this.

***

I have reams of this stuff in my head - it sits in a little box that I rarely open.

But every so often something like this thread prompts a look inside. Four decades down the line and it is still painful.

During my life I have occasionally come across families dealing with this problem and as I say it makes me want to cry inside.

I mainly get upset about any children that are involved - I think of the nightmares, the 'why us' and the longing for sleep and quiet and some kind of normality. I think of a lost childhood. I think of what could have been.

***

It's a slippery slope this addiction. It starts with occasional amusing tipsy-ness. It manifests in 'he's the life and soul of a party' and this becomes a background to your life and then........ it imperceptibly accelerates and accelerates and then one day you find yourself facing a pop-eyed, salivating father who is coming at you with a broken beer bottle.....

I guess I'll just stop there.

***

I have little time for drink. I have even less time for people who drink heavily.

I like to hear stories of people that have had the courage to recognise that their drinking is becoming excessive and have been able to stop. Especially when young families are involved.

It makes me smile for the children....


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## MarkF (29 Dec 2014)

Well done OP. I like a drink, especially in the summer, I stop each New Years day for a period, last year was my record, April 6th. I remember it well, flew into Catania, unpacked went for a stroll, saw a bakery that also sold 1 litre of wine for 1 euro, straight from the barrel into old water/pop plastic bottles.............. will try again in 2015.


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## screenman (29 Dec 2014)

I have never been a heavy drinker, but for many years I would not touch a drop from 1st Jan into 20th March

So of the people I know who drink a bit heavy do not it seems have a problem, those closest too them do though.


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## hondated (29 Dec 2014)

OMG you certainly sparked some memories there for me. First of all I am sorry to read that you had such a wretched childhood. Why you struck a nerve in me was that whilst my parents were not anywhere nearly as violent as your dad they too had alcohol filled violent arguments when I was a child. Like you when I want to I can still hear the screaming shouting and smashing of plates against the wall in my mind. Sadly my mum came from a family that drank alcohol as often as you and I might drink tea or coffee and it never helped her becoming a bar maid either.
Thankfully what it did for me having drunk moderately in my teenage years was to put me off of drinking alcohol.
But 42 years later I find myself with the assistance of AA supporting my son giving up drink. In a few days time he will have abstained for a year so that's some achievement in my eyes. However this being his first Christmas without having a drink has been difficult for him so if any of you too have struggled all I can say is just keep persevering and you will overcome your need for alcohol I am sure.
Well done to everyone that has managed to give up drink this year and for those of you still struggling just reread this thread and read how much better those that have managed to give up feel now,


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## screenman (29 Dec 2014)

Spokey Dokey, I feel quite ashamed that I do not know how to reply to your post.


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## Oldbloke (29 Dec 2014)

screenman said:


> Spokey Dokey, I feel quite ashamed that I do not know how to reply to your post.



Me too, @SpokeyDokey. Bad times in my life paled into insignific
nce after reading that.


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## Flying Dodo (29 Dec 2014)

screenman said:


> Spokey Dokey, I feel quite ashamed that I do not know how to reply to your post.



Sadly, due to having been married to an alcoholic for nearly 20 years, where it was a slow, steady escalation of drunken violence and abuse, I can relate to some of that. On the plus side, my children are quite clear in not wanting to follow that path. So to those who have decided that their lives are better off without alcohol, well done.


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## jonnysnorocket (29 Dec 2014)

I really struggled with alcohol for most of my adult life, until I eventually managed to put the bottle down some 14 years ago. I feel so amazingly lucky and charmed that I managed to do so. It feels every morning like I have won the lottery. 
I have witnessed many horrors due to alcohol (many my own) and it saddens me to see so many people ravaged by its effects. I am in no way anti drink, I believe there are people that unfortunately have a predisposition to become an addict, and people who happily enjoy alcohol with no problems whatsoever. 
Part of my problem lay in the fact that as one of the former, I yearned to be one of the latter, and spent many years faffing and making excuses as to why this should be. 
Total abstinence (one day at a time) has worked for me so far today & hopefully tomorrow.


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## The Brewer (29 Dec 2014)

Spokey Dokey thanks for sharing such painful memories, I had a lump in my throat reading.


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## jonnysnorocket (29 Dec 2014)

Pressing the "like" button on spokey dokeys heart wrenching post in some ways doesn't seem appropriate, so thankyou instead


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## Dogtrousers (29 Dec 2014)

Seventh TT Christmas for me. All power to the OP, other abstainers.


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## Orville (31 Dec 2014)

I am normally an abstainer but I do allow myself either one glass of wine or a Scotch Porter from Innes and Gun daily during the Christmas/ New Years holidays.


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## david k (31 Dec 2014)

Oldbloke said:


> Me too, @SpokeyDokey. Bad times in my life paled into insignific
> nce after reading that.


yeh, not sure what to say, powerful stuff, certainly made me think, thanks for the post spokeydokey


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## MrPie (3 Jan 2015)

SpokeyDokey - I don't like your post......love it! I can relate to a lot of that, sadly. I rememeber eventually picking up the courage to stand up for myself (and Mum and younger Bro) - this incredible surge of controlled rage and strength came over me as I picked him up by the scruff and threw him over the kitchen table then whacked him in the gut. It was the only language he understood, so he got it. The silly old nobber still drinks but due to a stroke at the age of 57, he calmed down significantly. He realised he was nothing without family support. All those wasted years (for him) makes me sad. I'll never forgive him, but the passage of time has dulled the effects.....and made me a stronger man.


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## Gravity Aided (7 Jan 2015)

10 years of alcohol free Christmases have made me cognizant of the jerk I was when I drank. I never regret having to quit due to health. I quit cold turkey, and have a much better time in general. I got into cycling instead. I'm glad I did.


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