# How can I (or should I) learn to tolerate noise?



## Shut Up Legs (6 Dec 2014)

I had a bad night last night . A large number of cars accumulated outside my next-door neighbours' house yesterday afternoon, then at 8:30pm the noise started: an incessant bass beat that was impossible to ignore. Fortunately for my sanity, it stopped around 11:30pm, but it was enough to raise my stress levels, and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising.

As a renter, I've had noisy neighbours before: in fact, my 3 previous rentals put me next to them. I've been at my current location for 3 years now, and it's been mostly quiet, but now even a small amount of noise is enough to make my stress levels skyrocket, because I just don't seem to have any tolerance for it any more. If I had the money (e.g. a lottery win which will probably never occur, but that doesn't stop me fantasising about one), I'd buy a place with a lot of land around it, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where I can just get some guaranteed peace. My depression gets worse on nights like last night, and I start to think about taking a terminal option, perhaps not seriously, but definitely thinking about it.

*Is it normal to feel this stressed about noise, or is there actually something wrong with me?* I'm beginning to wonder if it's the latter. If it is the latter, what can I do about it?

Now I'm dreading what Christmas and New Years Eve will bring, and hoping my neighbours don't come up with something worse than last night .


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## classic33 (6 Dec 2014)

Had a word with those responsible?


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## buggi (6 Dec 2014)

As it seems to be only ad hoc occasions with your new neighbours maybe you could ask them to forewarn you so you could maybe prepare yourself (like arrange to sleep on a friends sofa). I do think you need to see the doc tho as you shouldn't be considering a terminal option if your neighbours hold a party once in a while. She can give you something to calm your nerves on such occasions. Obviously this is a build up of stress and depression.


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## Pro Tour Punditry (6 Dec 2014)

One or 2 nights is not bad.


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## Mrs M (6 Dec 2014)

victor said:


> I had a bad night last night . A large number of cars accumulated outside my next-door neighbours' house yesterday afternoon, then at 8:30pm the noise started: an incessant bass beat that was impossible to ignore. Fortunately for my sanity, it stopped around 11:30pm, but it was enough to raise my stress levels, and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising.
> 
> As a renter, I've had noisy neighbours before: in fact, my 3 previous rentals put me next to them. I've been at my current location for 3 years now, and it's been mostly quiet, but now even a small amount of noise is enough to make my stress levels skyrocket, because I just don't seem to have any tolerance for it any more. If I had the money (e.g. a lottery win which will probably never occur, but that doesn't stop me fantasising about one), I'd buy a place with a lot of land around it, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where I can just get some guaranteed peace. My depression gets worse on nights like last night, and I start to think about taking a terminal option, perhaps not seriously, but definitely thinking about it.
> 
> ...



11.30 isn't too bad unless it's a night before work. Maybe you could join the party?
I find I have become much more sensitive to noise as I get older. Mr M insists on having the TV blaring as I am trying to sleep, really p's me off.
My sympathies.


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## Shut Up Legs (7 Dec 2014)

[QUOTE 3413818, member: 9609"]Getting rid of your neighbours is not the best plan[/QUOTE]
I guess I _was_ a bit ambiguous. Just for the record, that wasn't what I meant by a terminal option.


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## slowmotion (7 Dec 2014)

User13710 is spot on. We went through this a few years ago and it was extremely stressful. The important thing is to get to talk to the people causing the noise, not to suffer in silence and fester. They might be reasonable or they might not, but at least "engaging" with them gets you away from a sense of isolation and helplessness.


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## jefmcg (7 Dec 2014)

Noise is terrible for you. You just happen to notice its affect more than most. I don't think there is much you can do about the neighbours; turning the music off well before midnight shows that their heart is in the right place. If this doesn't happen very often, then it's just a fact of living near other people.

http://www.ens-newswire.com/ens/apr2011/2011-04-01-02.html



> Environmental noise leads to a disease burden second in magnitude only to that of air pollution, the report states.



Though you might want to look at active noise cancelling headphones: I tried some in a noisy office, and it was like I'd been dropped into an anechoic chamber; it was weird. Not sure if it would help with base, which comes in through more than your ears.


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## summerdays (7 Dec 2014)

I have lovely neighbours now, and the rare noisy parties are always mentioned long in advance, and I suspect we are the noisiest as we have teens (fairly quiet one though, just wish they didn't need to shout all the time). Our old neighbour had teenagers who used to throw parties when his parents were away, or they would have noisy parties and then start to clear up and put out all the bottles after they had said goodnight loudly to their guests at 2 in the morning. 

So I know it can be really irritating, if they do it regularly but tend to stop fairly early could you ring a mate and go and meet them so you don't have to sit and listen to it. Or another thing I once did was chat online whilst a party was going on, just to keep myself distracted.

It's the sitting there listening to it, unable to think of anything else that makes it seem really bad! 

And the following morning (nice and early) is usually a good day to do now your lawn, trim your hedge, put out your own recycling etc


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## Ganymede (7 Dec 2014)

Hi victor - User13710 speaketh sense. I absolutely hate noise. I live in the country with lots of fields around me, and in the summer on a still Saturday night someone, somewhere, will be having a noisy party in a marquee a mile or two away. There is also one of those local mini-festivals that thumps on from Friday night till Sunday afternoon, but they always, always finish at a reasonable time. I hate it while it's happening but I deal with it by remembering that they have a right to celebrate, that they will shut up soon, and probably 95% of the time I live in peace. Like Reiver, I love a windy night as long as it's in the direction required! And I too have been woken in the dead of night by a mouse scratching about.

I find simple earplugs useful - it doesn't cut out much of the noise but it feels like taking control (I keep them by the bed for Mr G's snorier moments). But I do think you can make a sort of inner decision to say "ok, I don't like this but it will be gone and I can cope by doing something else". I would use that noisy evening to do some household repairs or start a new craft project, do some baking or thoroughly clean the house - you just get involved in that and can better ignore the sound. 

I also agree that it's completely reasonable to ask your neighbours in a nice way to let you know in advance of any parties. Make friends with them, be the slightly eccentric neighbour, tolerant but with your own reasonable needs. That will strengthen the social contract. They sound ok if they stopped the noise at 11.30 but if you explain that a bit of notice would help you then they will be even more aware that their consideration is appreciated.

My sister has a "fest" in the field behind her house every year and comes to stay with me that weekend, but then she always sleeps with the radio on!


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## raleighnut (7 Dec 2014)

A mate of mine now lives up in the 'Gem fields' near Rubyvale, nearest neighbour is over a mile away but that's a bit OTT for me. Graham loves it though but he did have to build his own house on his 'claim'.


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## Drago (7 Dec 2014)

Tis why I moved to the arse end of nowhere.


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## Ganymede (7 Dec 2014)

[QUOTE 3414135, member: 9609"]

And then there is the bloke next door with his leaf blower - he is completely off his trolley, he washes his 4x4 (with the engine running) then dries the dam thing with the leaf blower. He will even come into my garden and pointlessly blow my leaves all over the place at like 8am, and if I say WTF he will just say "not healthy being in bed this late"[/QUOTE]
Have him killed.


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## slowmotion (7 Dec 2014)

[QUOTE 3414576, member: 9609"]That could be going a little over the top, a touch extreme - anyway, they look after the dog when we are away, and my weather records and ... seriously I have some brilliant neighbours, even if one does have an unhealthy obsession with a leaf blower.[/QUOTE]
I've noticed that people who are obsessed with their leaf blower usnally have a fetish about their pressure washer as well. Very odd.


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## Ganymede (7 Dec 2014)

slowmotion said:


> I've noticed that people who are obsessed with their leaf blower usnally have a fetish about their pressure washer as well. Very odd.


And really sharply-cut hedges...


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## G3CWI (7 Dec 2014)

Earplugs. Get some good quality disposable ones. Howard Leight ones work well for me.


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## sheffgirl (20 Dec 2014)

One noise that disturbs me is when people leave their car/van engine running sat outside my house. The vibration/hum just grates on me. I wouldn't do anything about it though, because it just a personal thing, just me being odd


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## classic33 (22 Dec 2014)

G3CWI said:


> Earplugs. Get some good quality disposable ones. Howard Leight ones work well for me.


Don't cancel out that low frequency sound though.


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## GetAGrip (22 Dec 2014)

slowmotion said:


> I've noticed that people who are obsessed with their leaf blower usnally have a fetish about their pressure washer as well. Very odd.


Wow, how very observant of you slowmotion! 
New neighbours moved in across the road back in October, and I swear that Mr neighbour has power-washed every nook and cranny of his house, car(s) paths and drive on more than one occasion. Now, as autumn/winter rolls in, every fallen leaf from his bushes, shrubs and ornamental cherry dance wildly around the garden, directed by a large and extremely noisy blower at the hands of an otherwise seemingly happy and friendly feller.

I reckon he'd be better off getting himself a bike and fill some of his time taking a healthy ride through the local country lanes to see that fallen leaves are all part of Mother natures annual cycle . Mind, it would be slightly worrying if, on his second ride he went off on his steed with said blower strapped to his back


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## steveindenmark (22 Dec 2014)

When my neighbours have parties I am always invited round.

Whats the matter with you?


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## raleighnut (22 Dec 2014)

GetAGrip said:


> Wow, how very observant of you slowmotion!
> New neighbours moved in across the road back in October, and I swear that Mr neighbour has power-washed every nook and cranny of his house, car(s) paths and drive on more than one occasion. Now, as autumn/winter rolls in, every fallen leaf from his bushes, shrubs and ornamental cherry dance wildly around the garden, directed by a large and extremely noisy blower at the hands of an otherwise seemingly happy and friendly feller.
> 
> I reckon he'd be better off getting himself a bike and fill some of his time taking a healthy ride through the local country lanes to see that fallen leaves are all part of Mother natures annual cycle . Mind, it would be slightly worrying if, on his second ride he went off on his steed with said blower strapped to his back


Yeah, he could strap it to the bike for power assistance up hills though.


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## G3CWI (22 Dec 2014)

classic33 said:


> Don't cancel out that low frequency sound though.



Earplugs don't cancel out anything; they work by attenuating the sound.


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## damianr (22 Dec 2014)

I picked up some ear plugs for peanuts from screwfix, they work like a dream (see what I did there?!)


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## Kestevan (23 Dec 2014)

damianr said:


> I picked up some ear plugs for peanuts from screwfix, they work like a dream (see what I did there?!)




Cooo you learn something every day, I never knew peanuts _had_ ears......

IGMC.


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## User269 (23 Dec 2014)

slowmotion said:


> I've noticed that people who are obsessed with their leaf blower usnally have a fetish about their pressure washer as well. Very odd.



Amazing. You live next door to me, but we've never met!


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## 2clepto (27 Dec 2014)

victor said:


> I had a bad night last night . A large number of cars accumulated outside my next-door neighbours' house yesterday afternoon, then at 8:30pm the noise started: an incessant bass beat that was impossible to ignore. Fortunately for my sanity, it stopped around 11:30pm, but it was enough to raise my stress levels, and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising.
> 
> As a renter, I've had noisy neighbours before: in fact, my 3 previous rentals put me next to them. I've been at my current location for 3 years now, and it's been mostly quiet, but now even a small amount of noise is enough to make my stress levels skyrocket, because I just don't seem to have any tolerance for it any more. If I had the money (e.g. a lottery win which will probably never occur, but that doesn't stop me fantasising about one), I'd buy a place with a lot of land around it, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where I can just get some guaranteed peace. My depression gets worse on nights like last night, and I start to think about taking a terminal option, perhaps not seriously, but definitely thinking about it.
> 
> ...




earplugs. get the little yellow ones of ebay for a 1000 for a tenner. cut one in half, roll it in ones fingers, place in the ear as far as the drum carefully, then retract a few millimetres so as the plug is not touching the eardrum. mildly uncomfortable for ten mins, then the silent utopia you search for is in your little lap.


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## Globalti (28 Dec 2014)

Just reading the OP gave me an awful sinking feeling in sympathy! But it's heartening to know that I'm not the only one who is stressed by neighbour noise. My own problem has worsened since we were forced to sell and move when violent drug dealers moved in next door with three dogs that barked and whined outside our window all night as well as all-night parties with loud trance music. 

At the moment I'm going through my own private little crisis over teenagers in the street who play loud music from some kind of gehtto-blaster; happily it never lasts long but it fills me with the most ghastly depresssion, probably it's a conditioned response from the old drug dealer days. Luckily our house is detached and the area quite decent so I can deal with night noise by putting in some ear buds and listening to music.I am occasionally woken by a nearby farm dog barking but as I've taken the time to get to know the farmer and I understand that the dog only barks when she smells foxes around the area it no longer bothers me.

Last summer a neighbour set up his flat-screen TV on top of the fence and invited a load of folk round to watch a cheese-rolling game. Unbeknown to him the TV is designed to send all the sound out backwards to where it reflects off the wall so we could hear it echoing around the houses incredibly loudly. I went round for a quiet word and they turned it down although he has been a little frosty with me since then. It's always better to go round for a quiet word; understanding the reason for thenoise is half the battle to overcoming the stress.

....and yes, you do become increasingly sensitive to noise as you enter your fifties. It's all due to the ageing process and the hormonal changes taking place in your body.


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