# Getting rather annoyed



## cyberknight (17 Jul 2016)

With rest of the family who dont give two hoots about the one thing i do for enjoyment .
I dont watch tv , its their programs ,dont smoke , drink etc etc .

This afternoon we are out at a fair , i told swmbo iwould like to get out for an hour this morning so she gets up late so thats out the window."She doent get a lie in all week but gets a full nights sleep every day where i have to cope on 5-6 hours , less proper sleep when im on nights .
Pretty much the same every weekend its a battle to get time for a ride "You ride to work all week"

Truely fecked off with the lot of them 


Rant over !!


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## Mugshot (17 Jul 2016)

Leave, or go for a ride, I dunno.


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## speccy1 (17 Jul 2016)

I feel your pain, I have a cyclist hating family:

"THEY" never use the cycle lanes
"THEY" are always in the way
"THEY" are always rude

Yada yada yada.........................

I`ve had many a tantrum over a Sunday dinner

Don`t get some people


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## Roadrider48 (17 Jul 2016)

When you get up early why can't you just go?
Maybe you have kids, I dunno?


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## bozmandb9 (17 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> With rest of the family who dont give two hoots about the one thing i do for enjoyment .
> I dont watch tv , its their programs ,dont smoke , drink etc etc .
> 
> This afternoon we are out at a fair , i told swmbo iwould like to get out for an hour this morning so she gets up late so thats out the window."She doent get a lie in all week but gets a full nights sleep every day where i have to cope on 5-6 hours , less proper sleep when im on nights .
> ...



I would have thought if she gets up late, that's an ideal time to go for a ride? Can't you get up early and be back by the time she's getting up? Win/ win? 

But I know what you mean, my wife's not too bad, but had a slight explosion when I suggested that I might go out this morning, after most of yesterday being sacrificed to my ride. "I'll go to Oxford on my own shall I" meaning, "You do that ride, and your life will be made miserable!".


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## ianrauk (17 Jul 2016)

Families. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.


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## derrick (17 Jul 2016)

We all suffer at some point with families.


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## Brandane (17 Jul 2016)

ianrauk said:


> Families. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.


Half correct.
I live on my own, and the more I get to know people, the more I realise I have made the right decision!
Do what I like, when I like. Eat what I like, when I like. I did try the alternative and it was a disaster - mind you she was a nippy little madam so probably not the best example.
I come from quite a big family and we all got on well, most of the time, so I don't know what happened to me .


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## cyberknight (17 Jul 2016)

Roadrider48 said:


> When you get up early why can't you just go?
> Maybe you have kids, I dunno?


 2 kids ,4 and a 9 year old


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## Roadrider48 (17 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> 2 kids ,4 and a 9 year old


Say no more mate....


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## Drago (17 Jul 2016)

Fake your own death, start again with a new identity.


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## Levo-Lon (17 Jul 2016)

Go on the pi55 for a few weeks, she will appreciate you more when you say cycling or drunk orrible =%_=..
It might work..or its time for the conversation? We stay togeather for all the wrong reasons i think.


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## Big Dave laaa (17 Jul 2016)

Mate of mine in same boat. Bought an Evo Six in January and has done 30 mile on it. She uses the 'you ride to work everyday ' excuse on him. My Mrs is the best tho. Totally gets it but my kids are grown up now. It does get better.


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## h1udd (17 Jul 2016)

I get up at 5am on Sunday's for a ride ... Back by 6:30 in time for the kiddy to get up ..... 5am is lovely ... I saw 2 cars today


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## seraphina (17 Jul 2016)

It's always a bit of a mare sorting out personal time when you have kids. Can you drag one of them with you? You could stick the 4 year old in a bike seat and head out someplace with the promise of cake. This way you can get an ally for future cycling escapades.

Although, it doesn't work if you need the headspace that cycling alone gives you.


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## ufkacbln (17 Jul 2016)

I often go places by bike.....

It can be a reasonable compromise.

We still shop together, go out together, it is just that we arrive by separate modes of transport


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## Saluki (17 Jul 2016)

I have a friend, who is a keen climber (not a cyclist at all) and in the end, she gave her OH an ultimatum along the lines of 'you either let me go climbing or I'm leaving'. He was an idiot and tried to veto her climbing so she left. No kids though, I guess that makes a massive difference.

How about, if your wife is having her sunday lie in, put Lego and stuff in the bedroom, plonk the kids in the bedroom too and then go for a ride. Kids are technically supervised. Although, your wife may never speak to you again, if you do that.

If you are really fed up, there is counselling available where you may be able to air your grievances about not getting time to yourself for a non-commuting ride, without the potential for a massive argument in the home. Just a thought, as you sound pretty unhappy in your post.


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## Gravity Aided (17 Jul 2016)

You do need to establish some time for yourself. And for the spouse as well. Limits to my riding time have become acceptable to me. Riding to common destinations works out well for me as well. For years, I got dropped off at work super early so Mrs. GA could swim before work.


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## ColinJ (17 Jul 2016)

ianrauk said:


> Families. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.


Lots of us _DO_ live without 'em ...! 

Having said that, I actually have my sister and brother-in-law up for the weekend. They want to do the tourist thing in Hebden Bridge today but I want to go out for a ride so they are about to catch the bus and I will be going on a 2 hour detour by bike. I'll meet them at a cafe later for coffee and cake and then do another ride back.


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## AndyRM (17 Jul 2016)

Download Pokemon Go and take the kids out for a ride to catch some!


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

Hmm, not easy, is it? I have to say that having kids is a wonderful thing but its not without its drawbacks. Looking after kids is a huge stress for some, and it can break a marriage with ease if you get unlucky. I suppose we just have to keep going. It's like gearing down to get up a hill, keep spinning!


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## classic33 (17 Jul 2016)

ColinJ said:


> Lots of us _DO_ live without 'em ...!
> 
> Having said that, I actually have my sister and brother-in-law up for the weekend. They want to do the tourist thing in Hebden Bridge today but I want to go out for a ride so they are about to catch the bus and I will be going on a 2 hour detour by bike. I'll meet them at a cafe later for coffee and cake and then do another ride back.


Has Tod' moved?


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## united4ever (17 Jul 2016)

Why not let her have a lie in, look after the kids until whatever time she gets up. Then go for your ride at say 10 or 11 oclock. She could hardly complain at that.


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## rideswithmoobs (17 Jul 2016)

I have a 5 year old, work away from home (currently in Houston then down to chile) trying to balance family life with cycling is difficult especially if your only home a few weeks and been away a month.
So I sold my sports bike and bought a sports tourer and instead of going out alone I go with the wife so we spend time together. I only ride my cycle when little lads at school and wife at the gym and if he is at home then I try to cycle to wherever we are going and meet up. If we are going to play barn 5 Mile away then I cycle and meet up with them. It works ok and I still manage 80+ miles a week on cycle and a few rides on motorbike if weather is nice without sacrificing important time with my family


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## Dayvo (17 Jul 2016)

Time to take the shorts off and wear some trousers.


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

Dayvo said:


> Time to take the shorts off and wear some trousers.


I fit cycling in around what the family needs are. The family comes first. _That is_ wearing the trousers. Wearing the shorts is when you look after yourself first.


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## Dayvo (17 Jul 2016)

r04DiE said:


> I fit cycling in around what the family needs are. The family comes first. _That is_ wearing the trousers. Wearing the shorts is when you look after yourself first.



I'm not interested in what YOU do.

My comment was a lighthearted reply to cyberknight.


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## cyberknight (17 Jul 2016)

Gravity Aided said:


> You do need to establish some time for yourself. And for the spouse as well. Limits to my riding time have become acceptable to me. Riding to common destinations works out well for me as well. For years, I got dropped off at work super early so Mrs. GA could swim before work.


Time for her? she plonks herself in front of tv for gameshows/soaps and the world could end, i have got in from work and if i get in when home and away is on i will get the evil eye and my tea can wait .
EDIT 
i dontmind cooking my tea but seein as i do a full time job + 20-40 hours overtime aa month + dust/hoover/bathroom when she complains she is too tired ...


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## lutonloony (17 Jul 2016)

ianrauk said:


> Families. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.


Can't live with them, and can't kill em


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## Dayvo (17 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> Time for her? she plonks herself in front of tv for gameshows/soaps and the world could end, i have got in from work and if i get in when home and away is on i will get the evil eye and my tea can wait .
> EDIT
> i dontmind cooking my tea but seein as i do a full time job + 20-40 hours overtime aa month + dust/hoover/bathroom when she complains she is too tired ...



Sounds like my brother and his misses/daughters.

Get a one-way ticket to


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## cyberknight (17 Jul 2016)

lutonloony said:


> Can't live with them, and can't kill em


Yes you can but its frowned upon by the rozzers.


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## rideswithmoobs (17 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> Time for her? she plonks herself in front of tv for gameshows/soaps and the world could end, i have got in from work and if i get in when home and away is on i will get the evil eye and my tea can wait .
> EDIT
> i dontmind cooking my tea but seein as i do a full time job + 20-40 hours overtime aa month + dust/hoover/bathroom when she complains she is too tired ...



Ah if that's how it is then I would bugger off cycling anytime I liked and leave her to it


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## mustang1 (17 Jul 2016)

I commute ride to work and when I wanted to go out on the weekend, I got the 'but you ride all week's thing that you did. So I just put on my riding gear and went. 

Didn't you ever watch Risky Business: sometimes you just gotta say wtf (and do what you gotta do).


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

Dayvo said:


> I'm not interested in what YOU do.
> 
> My comment was a lighthearted reply to cyberknight.


Touchy.


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## bladesman73 (17 Jul 2016)

dont take no crap, dont let anyone emotionally bully you. my wife goes horse riding when she wants, shes the same with me about cycling. we have kids but work together as we know that for a relationship to work you both need to work together. being happy together also means you need your own individual interests to be taken care of, by stifling them a partner is being selfish and controlling.


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## screenman (17 Jul 2016)

I bet she see 's it different to you. I love doing things to please my wife and when the kids were young I would rather spend time with them if they wanted me to rather than go out on the bike. Because of those times the wife suggests I go out on the bike and she even buys them for me as surprise presents.

It is a shame if after being apart all day she prefers the soaps to being with you.

When did you last buy her flowers.


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

screenman said:


> I bet she see 's it different to you. I love doing things to please my wife and when the kids were young I would rather spend time with them if they wanted me to rather than go out on the bike. Because of those times the wife suggests I go out on the bike and she even buys them for me as surprise presents.
> 
> It is a shame if after being apart all day she prefers the soaps to being with you.
> 
> When did you last buy her flowers.


Yeah, its easy to take each other for granted after a while. Maybe she needs a bit of TLC?


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## boydj (17 Jul 2016)

Any chance of adding some extra miles to the commute, either on the way in or coming home?


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## Supersuperleeds (17 Jul 2016)

screenman said:


> I bet she see 's it different to you. I love doing things to please my wife and when the kids were young I would rather spend time with them if they wanted me to rather than go out on the bike. Because of those times the wife suggests I go out on the bike and she even buys them for me as surprise presents.
> 
> It is a shame if after being apart all day she prefers the soaps to being with you.
> 
> When did you last buy her flowers.



If I buy our lass flowers she asks what I have done.


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

Supersuperleeds said:


> If I buy our lass flowers she asks what I have done.


You should tell her: "...thought of you so, so fondly to the point that I bought you flowers."


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## Hill Wimp (17 Jul 2016)

From the female perspective both partners need to have interests. Some will involve being together and some won't . This allows you both to have your own space which IMHO is healthy in a relationship.

Space means happy in my book


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## Andrew_P (17 Jul 2016)

Not sure what is stopping you going out if they are all in bed? If one of the kids gets up they would wake your wife up? I would just do it if I were you if nothing else bring to a head. Of course I don't really know your circumstances. You have made similar posts in the past not being that happy at home etc.


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## theclaud (17 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> Time for her? she plonks herself in front of tv for gameshows/soaps and the world could end, i have got in from work and if i get in when home and away is on i will get the evil eye and my tea can wait .
> EDIT
> i dontmind cooking my tea but seein as i do a full time job + 20-40 hours overtime aa month + dust/hoover/bathroom when she complains she is too tired ...


Fancy her failing to recognise that your needs are more important than hers, eh?


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

theclaud said:


> Fancy her failing to recognise that your needs are more important than hers, eh?


Its funny, I mean you're right in a way there, but since relationships (and human beings) are so complex (especially when you throw kids into the mix), there is surely more to it than just this.

I don't think that he's saying his needs are more important, I think he's feeling neglected, and maybe so is she. I don't think that making assumptions, or judging either party helps. I think that what this guy needs is a bit of support, so the he can then see his wife's side maybe, and make a decision based on that. So let's give them both a bit of support.


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## EltonFrog (17 Jul 2016)

This is a very sad state of affairs discussing private family affairs on the internet instead of dealing with it at home first, it needs sorting out before it gets any worse. 

You two need to sit down and do some serious talking and sort your lives out 'cos it's going to end in tears no mistake. 

If you are wanting to ride your bike rather than be with her and the kids and she is wanting to watch TV rather than engage with you and the kids means there is something seriously wrong in your relationship. 

On the other hand if it's dead, bury it before it starts to stink.


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

CarlP said:


> This is a very sad state of affairs discussing private family affairs on the internet instead of dealing with it at home first, it needs sorting out before it gets any worse...


What does it matter who he discusses it with? I think most people would genuinely like to help as far as they can, and sometimes it's much easier to talk through with a third party before you tackle it at source.


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## EltonFrog (17 Jul 2016)

r04DiE said:


> What does it matter who he discusses it with? I think most people would genuinely like to help as far as they can, and sometimes it's much easier to talk through with a third party before you tackle it at source.



I disagree.


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

CarlP said:


> I disagree.


Why?


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## EltonFrog (17 Jul 2016)

r04DiE said:


> Why?



Ranting with strangers on the Internet about family is not, in my opinion going to help with what appears a very serious breakdown in communication with two people, the op needs to spending his time and energy on dealing with his problem directly with his wife. 

It's possible that you may disagree, that is a matter for you, having stated my opinion on the matter I will not engage further. 

I wish him and his wife the very best and I sincerely hope that they can sort out their differences


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

CarlP said:


> Ranting with strangers on the Internet about family is not, in my opinion going to help with what appears a very serious breakdown in communication with two people, the op needs to spending his time and energy on dealing with his problem directly with his wife


Well, that's your opinion and you are welcome to it. But bear in mind, what works for you mightn't work for everyone and you can't possibly know what these two people are going through, or what action might help them best.


> It's possible that you may disagree, that is a matter for you, having stated my opinion on the matter I will not engage further


Groovy. That's the best thing to do on a forum; refuse to engage.


> I wish him and his wife the very best and I sincerely hope that they can sort out their differences


Good for you.


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## cyberknight (17 Jul 2016)

screenman said:


> I bet she see 's it different to you. I love doing things to please my wife and when the kids were young I would rather spend time with them if they wanted me to rather than go out on the bike. Because of those times the wife suggests I go out on the bike and she even buys them for me as surprise presents.
> 
> It is a shame if after being apart all day she prefers the soaps to being with you.
> 
> When did you last buy her flowers.


Last bought her flowers twice in the last 6 months , i spend all other times with wife and kids ,i make a point of it .
Went out for our anniversary couple of weeks ago 
Get home from work and even before i have had a shower / food im spending time with them asking how they are / playing/ helping with homework etc .
Saturday i take the kids swimming , play with them
Today too the whole family to a fair including MIL,, played games, did a bit of educatinl stuff like shoe lace tying , learning to tell the time etc .
Wife never buys anything bike related , i only get scorn about when she was a kid her bikes lasted years ......


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## cyberknight (17 Jul 2016)

CarlP said:


> Ranting with strangers on the Internet about family is not, in my opinion going to help with what appears a very serious breakdown in communication with two people, the op needs to spending his time and energy on dealing with his problem directly with his wife.
> 
> It's possible that you may disagree, that is a matter for you, having stated my opinion on the matter I will not engage further.
> 
> I wish him and his wife the very best and I sincerely hope that they can sort out their differences


Unfortunately due to the fact that i had a family tragedy when i was young i found it hard to socially interact and i dont get football so i havent had any friends for about 35 years .I interact with people well enough but no mates.


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## r04DiE (17 Jul 2016)

Well, I think you need to sit down and tell your wife how you feel. I think you need to do this in a way that demonstrates that you are miserable, for yourself, and for what has become of your relationship. Replace any anger you have with sadness at it all. I think that you need to ask her to listen and you also need to offer to listen to her. I'm no expert, but you can bet your bottom dollar that she also feels hurt, or dissatissfied with life, you need to be there for her, and you need to let her know that.

I might have this all wrong. You might look at what I've written and think that I am out of order; commenting on your life and making assumptions about what you should do, and how your wife feels. That's fair enough, and you can tell me its none of my business if you like. I won't get offended.

Anyway, I hope you can sort things out; its not easy mate but I look at what you've written about seeing to the kids before you've even had a shower and teaching shoelaces, the time and doing the weekly swim and I stand you against blokes that haven't seen their kids in years and cheat on their wives and all the rest of it. You seem like a nice enough bloke to me and we all have our demons, but that doesn't make you a bad person.

I hope you work it out, the both of you.


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## Pat "5mph" (18 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> Unfortunately due to the fact that i had a family tragedy when i was young i found it hard to socially interact and i dont get football so i havent had any friends for about 35 years .I interact with people well enough but no mates.


Strange how stuff you read sticks in mind after years: I remember one of the first post I read on this forum was one of yours, saying it was your birthday, you came home tired from work, there was no presents or card for you, just a frozen dinner.
That must have been about 5 years ago!
It made me very sad, even though I'm not normally a sympathetic person: I lack life experience to be of any help, but wish you all the best, maybe a relationship adviser could help?


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## screenman (18 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> Last bought her flowers twice in the last 6 months , i spend all other times with wife and kids ,i make a point of it .
> Went out for our anniversary couple of weeks ago
> Get home from work and even before i have had a shower / food im spending time with them asking how they are / playing/ helping with homework etc .
> Saturday i take the kids swimming , play with them
> ...



You are it seems certainly doing your part, that is good. I would suggest going out whilst she is still in bed, maybe just for an hour or two, hopefully she will get used to it and accept it.

I certainly wish you all the best, although it sounds really sad that she does not seem to want to make you happy.


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## kiriyama (18 Jul 2016)

Iv got a very difficult family life at the moment. Weekend riding is completely off the cards! Unless I'm sent out of an errand!

Luckily I have a nice commute that I can extend up to an hour on the way home. 2-3 hours on a Wednesdays.

Family comes first although it can be frustrating not getting out. And seeing your friends go out on 200km rides on their cycling holidays in France!

My other half didn't really get my cycling until I had a proper chat with her about how it's the only time I get to have a bit of me time and clear my head. She now only gets cross if I turn up home 2-3 hours later than I said I'd be home! Which is fair enough, it's all about finding a balance.

Set yourself a realistic weekly target and try and hit it with your commutes (if you can/if you live somewhere nice enough) if your worried about fitness but are low on time, try going for the occasional run. It's quicker (can get the same work out in less tine) and really helps your cycling fitness (has for me anyway)


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## cyberknight (18 Jul 2016)

screenman said:


> You are it seems certainly doing your part, that is good. I would suggest going out whilst she is still in bed, maybe just for an hour or two, hopefully she will get used to it and accept it.
> 
> I certainly wish you all the best, although it sounds really sad that she does not seem to want to make you happy.


Cant as aforementioned kids .


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## screenman (18 Jul 2016)

She is in the house with them though.


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## mustang1 (18 Jul 2016)

I reckon it's a guilt thing.


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## bikingdad90 (18 Jul 2016)

I am in a similar situation as you and I cannot go out just for a ride on evenings or weekends. 

I have compromised with commutting to save money and a couple of sportive events each year. I preagree the dates well in advance with my wife and just deal with the constraints, usually by spending time with the kids, cooking, washing up, cleaning, hoovering etc. Basically I share the load in the house as it is exhausting looking after children for long periods of time on your own, they have so much energy!


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## SpokeyDokey (18 Jul 2016)

Hill Wimp said:


> From the female perspective both partners need to have interests. Some will involve being together and some won't . This allows you both to have your own space which IMHO is healthy in a relationship.
> 
> Space means happy in my book



100% agree with this.

We do stuff together, we do stuff apart. Any potential diary clashes we quickly and amicably sort out. We are always interested what each other is up to when we are 'flying solo'. Differences are as interesting as commonalities. Equals a healthy relationship for us.

Neither of us would be with each other if our relationship did not work like this.

For the OP - you have my sympathies and I have no idea what to suggest as I have never been in a lop-sided relationship.

Good luck with whatever you do.


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## gavroche (18 Jul 2016)

I must say I am one of the lucky ones. If the weather is good, my wife often says:" Are you going for a ride today?" and there is no malice in it, she actually means it. On the other hand, she hates it when I am dressed in my cycling gear, she says I look like a silly old man. Apart from that, I can go for a ride whenever I want.


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## broady (19 Jul 2016)

My wife takes the micky out of me when wearing my cycling gear too!!

But she doesn't mind me going out on my Tuesday evening and Sunday morning rides each week.


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## Rohloff_Brompton_Rider (19 Jul 2016)

Bloody hell, some of your 'relationships' sound more like dictatorships instead of partnerships.


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## wheresthetorch (19 Jul 2016)

When I put my cycling gear on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and comment on my spindly white legs and bulging gut. My wife then tells me I look amazing , and wishes me a nice ride. She's so pretty.


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## Rohloff_Brompton_Rider (19 Jul 2016)

wheresthetorch said:


> When I put my cycling gear on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and comment on my spindly white legs and bulging gut. My wife then tells me I look amazing , and wishes me a nice ride. She's so pretty.


Love is blind you know.


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## wheresthetorch (19 Jul 2016)

Rohloff_Brompton_Rider said:


> Love is blind you know.



Exactly - luckily for me!!


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## I like Skol (19 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> With rest of the family who dont give two hoots about the one thing i do for enjoyment .
> I dont watch tv , its their programs ,dont smoke , drink etc etc .
> 
> This afternoon we are out at a fair , i told swmbo iwould like to get out for an hour this morning so she gets up late so thats out the window."She doent get a lie in all week but gets a full nights sleep every day where i have to cope on 5-6 hours , less proper sleep when im on nights .
> ...


Don't be so selfish!


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## The Mighty News (19 Jul 2016)

i know your pain, its only this year I have managed to get out more, as with anything its compromise, the mrs has joined a gym so equally wants to get out and exercise more so we take it in turns. I dont commute so I have been getting up at 5am to do an hour or two also and its beautiful at that time of the morning.

our kids are 9 and 7 so its getting easier


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## I like Skol (19 Jul 2016)

Seriously though, it isn't easy and there are no easy answers.
I work rotating continental shifts. My wife works 5 days a week, 40 miles from home. We have 2 kids that do many activities on top of going to different schools (older one makes his own way now) and I like cycling and Land Rovers. That is a lot of commitments to try and satisfy before we even think about trying to spend any quality time together as a couple, not forgetting the eternal need for cooking, housework, food shopping, washing clothes etc.....
Sure I'd like to go out cycling every weekend I'm not working and if not then go camping in the 4x4 vbut that just isn't going to happen so the compromise is that I put dates on the calendar months in advance and we plan on these key events being set in stone. Does kind of take away any spontaneity but at least I can aim for a few proper rides a year rather than the pressures of day-to-day living preventing anything from happening.
I guess it would help if your partner shared your pastimes but it seems this is rare. My wife hates the 4x4 thing and is not a keen cyclist but by encouraging her to go to the gym and swim and do the odd exercise class (she is actually enjoying spin classes at the mo) it helps her see how much I enjoy my cycle workouts which makes things a bit easier.
I know it isn't what you want to hear but the cycling has to come second, always family first. You made that choice when you started a family so don't change your mind now!


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## Smokin Joe (19 Jul 2016)

I like Skol said:


> I know it isn't what you want to hear but the cycling has to come second, always family first. You made that choice when you started a family so don't change your mind now!


Not if you want a respectable Strava time, it doesn't.


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## Rooster1 (19 Jul 2016)

I'm in the same boat, my "poppets" are 10 and 14. Saturday is a no no for a ride, even if the weather forecast says Saturday great, Sunday Sh*te - too many kid activities, swimming, football, gymnastics. I can occasionally plead for mercy and go out on a Sunday but....it means getting up at 6 (oh and DON'T WAKE THE KIDS UP) and being back by say 9.30 am. I'm cool with this, I can't let it take over everything.

Annoyingly, when I return at 9 or 9:30, they are all in bed still on their Ipads and laptops instead of being dressed and ready for whatever it was I came back for.

I am lucky enough to get out in the week, but like in @cyberknight 's case, they are mostly commuting miles!


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## summerdays (19 Jul 2016)

All to soon they grown up and they want to spend more time with their friends (either actually or online), than with their folks. And you can go off and leave them (my youngest says they are happy to be left in the house overnight on their own .... don't think I'm quite ready for that!!!). Enjoy the time you have with them, all too soon they will have flown the nest (even if they keep flying back in all the time!!!). It can seem quite difficult especially if you have friends or work colleagues who are able to get out and have more free time than you, but it will gradually come. Could you negotiate one free evening ... or drop them to an activity (swimming/cubs/etc), and then immediately set off for a ride timed to get back when they finish (swimming might be a bit too short for a ride, but something like cubs might work).


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## mjr (19 Jul 2016)

wheresthetorch said:


> When I put my cycling gear on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and comment on my spindly white legs and bulging gut. My wife then tells me I look amazing , and wishes me a nice ride. She's so pretty.


Probably NSFW but that description made me think of this...


Spoiler











I've worn it but it's not worth it so I don't any more.


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## Lonestar (19 Jul 2016)

^^^^ The cycling haters posted that up in our messroom st work.


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## mjr (19 Jul 2016)

Lonestar said:


> ^^^^ The cycling haters posted that up in our messroom st work.


I aim for a more relaxed cycling look now, closer to this: 



Don't get much near it, thanks to my hat with sunflap but oh well!


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## markharry66 (19 Jul 2016)

Ex wife was like that thats why she is an ex.
My partner comes out on rides with me and is supportive of my cycling.
Maybe offer to look after the kids so she can go out then you take a day or morning for your yourself in return.
Life cant all be take take.


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## cyberknight (19 Jul 2016)

markharry66 said:


> Ex wife was like that thats why she is an ex.
> My partner comes out on rides with me and is supportive of my cycling.
> Maybe offer to look after the kids so she can go out then you take a day or morning for your yourself in return.
> Life cant all be take take.


She announces she is off to bingo/spiritual church when she likes
I have a history of being walked over by my partners as I tend to try and make thing work.


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## Lonestar (20 Jul 2016)

mjray said:


> I aim for a more relaxed cycling look now, closer to this:
> 
> 
> 
> Don't get much near it, thanks to my hat with sunflap but oh well!



I couldn't care less what people wear (or ride)so long as they don't cycle like POB's.But alas that it aint gonna happen.


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## mjr (20 Jul 2016)

Lonestar said:


> ...so long as they don't cycle like POB's....


Who needs non- cyclists to divide us when cyclists are so good at criticising each other?


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## Lonestar (20 Jul 2016)

mjray said:


> Who needs non- cyclists to divide us when cyclists are so good at criticising each other?



If they stopped jumping reds and cycling like morons I wouldn't have a problem.One last night totally disregarded the lights after Mile End plus no lhe had no lights fitted...Had to wait for the selfish twat to clear before I could pass my green traffic light on Harford Street.I'm fed up with selfish twats.

Now every time you have to check at every set of (green) traffic lights for yet another selfish moron.


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## mjr (20 Jul 2016)

Lonestar said:


> Now every time you have to check at every set of (green) traffic lights for yet another selfish moron.


You've always had to check at green lights for other selfish morons, as well as emergency vehicles and so on. I'd much rather have any selfish morons on bikes instead of in cars... but even that's rather different to groups that call themselves "People On Bikes" who I thought you were flaming.


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## Lonestar (20 Jul 2016)

mjray said:


> You've always had to check at green lights for other selfish morons, as well as emergency vehicles and so on. I'd much rather have any selfish morons on bikes instead of in cars... but even that's rather different to groups that call themselves "People On Bikes" who I thought you were flaming.



I generally see cars and emergency vehicles but POBs with no lights and dressed in black (and even if they aren't dressed in black are harder to see.Plus cars don't generally go through reds once they've stopped.Plus i'm not deaf and cars generally make a nose.I have a go at motorists for idiot driving so why are cyclists exempt from this?

A cycling forum where a cyclist can do no wrong.


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## mjr (20 Jul 2016)

Lonestar said:


> I have a go at motorists for idiot driving so why are cyclists exempt from this?


I'm ignoring all the other debatables in your post and just answering this: they're not exempt, but you don't pick on one club by calling idiot motorists something like "RACs" so please don't call idiot cyclists "POBs".


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## Lonestar (20 Jul 2016)

To the OP...Very sorry for hijacking your thread.Guess it's my fault because I was so p1553d off last night.Sorry.


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## cyberknight (24 Jul 2016)

Manned up , only the 9 year old up and hes capable of looking after himself with wife in bed, 4 year old still asleep so i was out the door at 8.45 am.
View: https://www.strava.com/activities/651774977/embed/8517553c2412ab3a80886f7fe32fbaa5eb624812


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## Supersuperleeds (24 Jul 2016)

cyberknight said:


> Manned up , only the 9 year old up and hes capable of looking after himself with wife in bed, 4 year old still asleep so i was out the door at 8.45 am.
> View: https://www.strava.com/activities/651774977/embed/8517553c2412ab3a80886f7fe32fbaa5eb624812



Has she burnt your tea yet?


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