# The Golfist thread



## Drago (4 Jul 2020)

Are you a golfist? Do you like talking about your different bats and wearing Val Doonican's jersey when out and about on the golf pitch?

Well, I don't, but thought those that do might like somewhere to chat about their latest over.


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## Mo1959 (4 Jul 2020)

Drago said:


> somewhere to chat about their latest over.


Is that not cricket?


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## Brandane (4 Jul 2020)

I used to be a golfist, but a very bad golfist. I had always been into cycling to a lesser extent, and motorbikes to a bigger extent. I found that I had too many weather dependent hobbies, and given the very limited number of dry days in my local area, something had to give. Golf got dumped as it was becoming quite expensive, and to justify the fees you have to play quite regularly. With it went the Paisley pattern Pringle jerseys and matching socks, the bright coloured troosers, and the BMW (ok, the last one is a lie, I've never had nor wanted one of them. It was a VW Golf). 
I can honestly say I don't miss golf much.


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## steveindenmark (4 Jul 2020)

I thought this was going to be about aquariums. I thought it said Goldfish. 

I am an ex golfer. I left the elitism of golf and it followed me into cycling. 😁

I played off a 9 handicap for a while. I have played some wonderful golf courses. The most important thing I learnt is that most of the time you do not have to be a golf club member to eat at a golf club. A pair of tidy trousers and jacket usually gets you admitted.


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## Phaeton (4 Jul 2020)

steveindenmark said:


> I played off a 9 handicap for a while.


For while? Did it get better or is it a permanent disability?


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## smokeysmoo (4 Jul 2020)

Another ex- golfist here. Used to play every weekend and at least one evening in the week during summer.

Never had an official handicap, but I used to work it out and got down to 15 at one point.

Then I came off my bike and broke my elbow, and I now have a restriction in the extension of my right arm, and even though it is minimal I was just never comfortable after that.

I persevered for a while, but it wasn't improving so I made the decision to jack it in.

Sold everything, (and believe me I was a golf tart ), Callaway everything, electric trolley, full wet weather gear, the whole kit and caboodle, and bought another bike 

Last time I played I hadn't swung a club in probably 5+ years, and went out with borrowed clubs, (I'm 6'5" so my own clubs had been custom fitted), normal shoes on etc and shot around the high 80's, so although I do miss it some times as we used to have a right crack, and it's not something I'll ever get really back into, but if I can do that once in a blue moon that'll do for me.


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## Drago (4 Jul 2020)

I don't know much about golfism, but isn't a 9 handicap considered pretty good?


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## sleuthey (4 Jul 2020)

Drago said:


> golf pitch?


Your terminology is a bit below par, I think you should go on a course. There are a whole range available.


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## CanucksTraveller (4 Jul 2020)

I used to play in my early 30s, I was never a member of a club or anything, I'd just go and visit pay and play courses with a work mate. I was never too super either, I'd go round a par 72 with an average score in the mid 90s. 
I still like a driving range, my company department often takes us out to Top Golf ranges when we're all together in the US and that can be a good laugh. I suppose anything is a laugh when you add free beer and chicken wings. 

What struck me about the sport, (and part of what made me lose interest) was the sheer number of massive, self-obsessed bell ends that it seems to attract. Not everyone, obviously, but quite a lot compared to other pastimes.


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## Brandane (4 Jul 2020)

CanucksTraveller said:


> What struck me about the sport, (and part of what made me lose interest) was the sheer number of massive, self-obsessed bell ends that it seems to attract. Not everyone, obviously, but quite a lot compared to other pastimes.


Take out the "massive" bit, and cycling has it's fair share too, IME....


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## raleighnut (4 Jul 2020)

My Uncle was a keen golfer, he was 'House Chairman'* at Cosby and was made Captain for a year, never wore anything other than a pair of 'slacks' usually grey or beige and a nice plain pullover when on the course. He tried to get me into it as a youth** and I was a junior member for a couple of years but once I hit 16 the yearly 'subs' were astronomical so I quit.

* the 'House Chairman' was the bloke who organised all the pissups social events in the clubhouse 

** Both of his sons were born severely disabled so I became his surrogate son.

You'd have liked my Uncle @Drago , instead of doing 'National Service' he 'signed on' for 3 years and became a Sergeant in the Coldstream Guards, after a stint in Korea he became an instructor in rifle training for his last year ( a really good 'Marksman')


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## cosmicbike (4 Jul 2020)

Golfists? You mean ball whackers? Never got it myself, though when I ran the local Cub pack we often did the driving range of an evening. Mind you, my local club is nice to pedal around and see how the other half lives, Wentworth it is. Lots of posh ball whackers.


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## Slick (4 Jul 2020)

So no regular golfers on a thread about golfing, go figure. Lol

I'm still a keen club golfer and did my stint on the committee before becoming captain. I nearly gave up a couple of years back when my back just became too painful but I managed to patch it up and soon got back into the swing of things again. Great sport for meeting people, never really met many of the massive bell ends that some of you have but I have met some of the finest old school gents your ever likely to meet, sadly most of them are no longer around.

We also have an annual family golfing weekend when we get together for a cracking weekend of golf, drinks, good food and much hilarity and it certainly beats just meeting up at funerals.

I guess it's what you make it though.


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## steveindenmark (5 Jul 2020)

Drago said:


> I don't know much about golfism, but isn't a 9 handicap considered pretty good?


Its not bad, but its relative. Literally, My brother played of 4 and my sister6. I was always buying the beer. 😊 I played with a golf course designer from Switzerland. He was a young English guy and we were playing in the Dominican Republic. He had a minus 5 handicap. He was phenominal. I asked if he had thought of turning pro and he said he wasnt good enough. He explained to be a top class pro he would need to be a minus 20 handicap. I went on to walk alongside Seve Ballesteros in a practice round at Penina in Portugal and saw what he meant. It was mind boggling what Seve could do.


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## Bonefish Blues (5 Jul 2020)

I last done golf in October 1994. I was asked to stop by the owners of a hotel adjacent to the Indian Ocean, where my wife & I were staying on our weddymoon.

When playing the holes adjacent to the Ocean, my inadvertent habit of raising my head to see where the golf pill was heading was causing said item to describe a curve known as a slice and land in the water, and the owners were worried that the sheer number I was hitting thus might mean that the hotel was inundated.

Reverted to more sensible sports like angling...


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## JRTemple (9 Jul 2020)

I must admit I thought golf gave men a good excuse to wear outrageous clothes until I took up cycling!!


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## Andy_R (10 Jul 2020)

Golf - a waste of a good walk.


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## numbnuts (10 Jul 2020)

I played it for a while, but I found the early days more entertaining, when I started getting good the fun went out of it and I stopped playing


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## Drago (10 Jul 2020)

numbnuts said:


> I played it for a while, but I found the early days more entertaining, when I started getting good the fun went out of it and I stopped playing


I guess being on tour so much made it difficult to get a game in.


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## Mr Whyte (10 Jul 2020)

As I use to work on a golf course, I ended up playing a lot of golf and got down to Scratch handicap.


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## raleighnut (10 Jul 2020)

Mr Whyte said:


> As I use to work on a golf course, I ended up playing a lot of golf and got down to Scratch handicap.


Jeez you must have got bored at work.


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## Mr Whyte (10 Jul 2020)

raleighnut said:


> Jeez you must have got bored at work.




Loved the job, just played a round every day after we finished for the day.


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## Drago (11 Jul 2020)

That's why I'd love a job at a shooting range.


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## Dave7 (12 Jul 2020)

I play twice a week. 9 on Wednesday and 18 on Thursday.
Best I got to was 18...... I am now off 29.
One of the good things is that my handicap allows me to compete with someone off eg 5.
Our clubhouse is lovely. Absolutely no snobs.....everyone is down to earth, your normal Joe Bloggs.
Another good thing but SOOO frustrating is you play one week and think "I've got it" as everything clicks. Next week you play like an absolute novice.


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## Slick (12 Jul 2020)

Dave7 said:


> I play twice a week. 9 on Wednesday and 18 on Thursday.
> Best I got to was 18...... I am now off 29.
> One of the good things is that my handicap allows me to compete with someone off eg 5.
> Our clubhouse is lovely. Absolutely no snobs.....everyone is down to earth, your normal Joe Bloggs.
> Another good thing but SOOO frustrating is you play one week and think "I've got it" as everything clicks. Next week you play like an absolute novice.


That's what brings you back though.


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## HMS_Dave (12 Jul 2020)

I tried Golf a few times. It was just a long walk looking for my ball in long grass...


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## Dave7 (12 Jul 2020)

HMS_Dave said:


> I tried Golf a few times. It was just a long walk looking for my ball in long grass...


The idea is not to go in the long grass


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## Slick (12 Jul 2020)

HMS_Dave said:


> I tried Golf a few times. It was just a long walk looking for my ball in long grass...


Stop trying to hit it so hard.


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## HMS_Dave (12 Jul 2020)

Slick said:


> Stop trying to hit it so hard.


Once i took a drive. My friend set up the tee how he thinks it should be based off my swing. I managed to completely shatter the tee and the ball dropped harmlessly on the spot where the tee was. Im sure he was taking the piss but alas i don't think i will make the PGA tour...


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## Slick (12 Jul 2020)

HMS_Dave said:


> Once i took a drive. My friend set up the tee how he thinks it should be based off my swing. I managed to completely shatter the tee and the ball dropped harmlessly on the spot where the tee was. Im sure he was taking the piss but alas i don't think i will make the PGA tour...


Neither will I but I can smash a drive quite a distance when required, it's the tippy tappy stuff that gets me.

My friends tried to do the same with my tee height for years and I did try and copy them as the wooden tee was apparently the correct way to do it. Until 2 of us went to the same pro for a lesson and he used the same white plastic castle tee that I wanted to use. There is no right and wrong, it's the same as cycling, do what works or feels good to you.


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## dodgy (12 Jul 2020)

Golf just seems an extraordinary deprival of open spaces for the masses.


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## Slick (12 Jul 2020)

dodgy said:


> Golf just seems an extraordinary deprival of open spaces for the masses.


Golf is for the masses. Well it is in Scotland anyway.


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## HMS_Dave (12 Jul 2020)

dodgy said:


> Golf just seems an extraordinary deprival of open spaces for the masses.


Well, just pick up some golf sticks and go for a walk around it instead...


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## dodgy (12 Jul 2020)

HMS_Dave said:


> Well, just pick up some golf sticks and go for a walk around it instead...



Think I'd rather ride across it.


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## HMS_Dave (12 Jul 2020)

dodgy said:


> Think I'd rather ride across it.


Many do on hired golf carts.


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## dodgy (12 Jul 2020)

HMS_Dave said:


> Many do on hired golf carts.


Yup, fat little men getting fatter.


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## Slick (12 Jul 2020)

Or try this.


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## Dave7 (25 Jul 2020)

raleighnut said:


> My Uncle was a keen golfer, he was 'House Chairman'* at Cosby and was made Captain for a year, never wore anything other than a pair of 'slacks' usually grey or beige and a nice plain pullover when on the course. He tried to get me into it as a youth** and I was a junior member for a couple of years but once I hit 16 the yearly 'subs' were astronomical so I quit.
> 
> * the 'House Chairman' was the bloke who organised all the pissups social events in the clubhouse
> 
> ...


Is that Crosby in Liverpool.
My uncle (Dave Smith) was a very long term member there till he died. Past captain.
Very wealthy and liked to show it.
His Volvo reg was DS1.
My aunty's reg was MS1.
If you are in touch with any old members I am sure they will recall him.


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## Dave7 (25 Jul 2020)

Slick said:


> So no regular golfers on a thread about golfing, go figure. Lol
> 
> I'm still a keen club golfer and did my stint on the committee before becoming captain. I nearly gave up a couple of years back when my back just became too painful but I managed to patch it up and soon got back into the swing of things again. Great sport for meeting people, never really met many of the massive bell ends that some of you have but I have met some of the finest old school gents your ever likely to meet, sadly most of them are no longer around.
> 
> ...


Where is your club Slick?
I am a member of the seniors section at our club. Its very active eg 60+ play in the Thursday comps.
Alder Root, near Warrington.
I can't think of any horrible pricks that others mention.
There are, of course, people who are not my cup of tea but I am sure some feel the same about me. I know, hard to believe but true


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## Slick (25 Jul 2020)

Dave7 said:


> Where is your club Slick?
> I am a member of the seniors section at our club. Its very active eg 60+ play in the Thursday comps.
> Alder Root, near Warrington.
> I can't think of any horrible pricks that others mention.
> There are, of course, people who are not my cup of tea but I am sure some feel the same about me. I know, hard to believe but true


I do find that hard to believe. 

This is my course, took a while to grow on me but I really enjoy it now, so if ever your in the area.  The second link is our weekend family challenge, and suits my game better despite the additional challenges. 
https://caldwellgolfclub.com/
http://www.machgolf.com/


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## Slick (25 Jul 2020)

Alder Root looked lovely. 👍


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## raleighnut (25 Jul 2020)

Dave7 said:


> Is that Crosby in Liverpool.
> My uncle (Dave Smith) was a very long term member there till he died. Past captain.
> Very wealthy and liked to show it.
> His Volvo reg was DS1.
> ...


No that's Cosby, about 6 miles south of Leicester,

https://www.cosbygolfclub.co.uk/club-information


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## L Q (25 Jul 2020)

Slick said:


> I do find that hard to believe.
> 
> This is my course, took a while to grow on me but I really enjoy it now, so if ever your in the area.  The second link is our weekend family challenge, and suits my game better despite the additional challenges.
> https://caldwellgolfclub.com/
> http://www.machgolf.com/


Off to Machrahanish at the end of September, can’t wait as it’s looks amazing.


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## Slick (26 Jul 2020)

L Q said:


> Off to Machrahanish at the end of September, can’t wait as it’s looks amazing.


It is, I will be there at the beginning of the month, probably my one and only visit of the year. If you haven't been before you might want to practice hitting them low now.


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## L Q (26 Jul 2020)

Slick said:


> It is, I will be there at the beginning of the month, probably my one and only visit of the year. If you haven't been before you might want to practice hitting them low now.


Oh that’s my game alright, I grew up playing on an old airfield golf course where the wind was as brutal as playing on a links course. 

Playing The Machrie and the dunes course next door, looking forward to it


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## Slick (26 Jul 2020)

L Q said:


> Oh that’s my game alright, I grew up playing on an old airfield golf course where the wind was as brutal as playing on a links course.
> 
> Playing The Machrie and the dunes course next door, looking forward to it


In that case you are built for Argyll golf. The Dunes is magic but they have taken the edge of it to cater for the American market but I still always play there when I'm down. I love the Machrie but haven't been over since they redesigned the course but I hear some excellent reports about it and I like the idea of see the sea from every tee. If the weather turns or you fancy something a bit simpler, get yourself over to the other side of the mull and give Dunaverty a go. A hidden gem is how it's been describe in golfing circles and I know that you wouldn't be disappointed. 👍


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## L Q (26 Jul 2020)

Slick said:


> In that case you are built for Argyll golf. The Dunes is magic but they have taken the edge of it to cater for the American market but I still always play there when I'm down. I love the Machrie but haven't been over since they redesigned the course but I hear some excellent reports about it and I like the idea of see the sea from every tee. If the weather turns or you fancy something a bit simpler, get yourself over to the other side of the mull and give Dunaverty a go. A hidden gem is how it's been describe in golfing circles and I know that you wouldn't be disappointed. 👍


Dunaverty is on my radar for the afternoon as we are playing Mach Dunes in the morning. 

The American market is what is killing golf in Scotland, I played Dumbarnie 2 weeks ago, really nice course but fairways so wide for the Americans.


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## jowwy (27 Jul 2020)

i was lucky enough to play off single figures during my 20yr spell of playing the game and run my own golf business too. 

I gave up after losing 4st when i started cycling and lost my swing........i was struggling to find the club head thru the down stroke and was trying to fight a constant hook. 

-20 for a golf pro is nonsense......no professional gives the course 20 shots and if i remember correctly, Ian poulter turned pro with a +4 handicap

https://www.golf-monthly.co.uk/features/the-game/things-you-didnt-know-about-ian-poulter


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## Slick (27 Jul 2020)

jowwy said:


> i was lucky enough to play off single figures during my 20yr spell of playing the game and run my own golf business too.
> 
> I gave up after losing 4st when i started cycling and lost my swing........i was struggling to find the club head thru the down stroke and was trying to fight a constant hook.
> 
> ...


I think its changed days now and the fact that it's an interesting fact for Poulter is that it was most probably unusual even then. I know a young guy who has been in training scince he could walk and was featured on sky sports before he was in school. He competed all over the world as a school boy and competed in whatever the junior equivalent of the Ryder cup is both home and away. I think it became obvious around 16 years old that he wasn't going to make it as he was still +2 and his counterparts were all at least -4.


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## jowwy (28 Jul 2020)

Slick said:


> I think its changed days now and the fact that it's an interesting fact for Poulter is that it was most probably unusual even then. I know a young guy who has been in training scince he could walk and was featured on sky sports before he was in school. He competed all over the world as a school boy and competed in whatever the junior equivalent of the Ryder cup is both home and away. I think it became obvious around 16 years old that he wasn't going to make it as he was still +2 and his counterparts were all at least -4.


Just to put that inperspective the average golf pro is -5.6

Tiger woods was -8


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## Dave7 (28 Jul 2020)

jowwy said:


> i was lucky enough to play off single figures during my 20yr spell of playing the game and run my own golf business too.
> 
> I gave up after losing 4st when i started cycling and lost my swing........i was struggling to find the club head thru the down stroke and was trying to fight a constant hook.
> 
> ...


A guy who has a local golf shop told me he was a pro off scratch but scratch is nowhere near good enough to earn a living.
Similarly a pro at a local course played all over the uk and in some USA comps. Did OK but barely covered expenses. Travel, hotels, caddies...... you have to be winning serious money to cover that.


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## Drago (4 Sep 2020)

Professional golfists have the easiest job going. They get to have a leisurely walk and take the gravy train home.


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## Slick (6 Sep 2020)

Drago said:


> Professional golfists have the easiest job going. They get to have a leisurely walk and take the gravy train home.


A bit like the soccerists.


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## L Q (18 Nov 2020)

Slick said:


> It is, I will be there at the beginning of the month, probably my one and only visit of the year. If you haven't been before you might want to practice hitting them low now.


Thought I would let you know about our trip to Machrihanish, went for 7 days played

Skiskine
2 rounds at the Machrie 
Machrihanish dunes 
Dunaverty
Machrihanish 
Glasgow Gailes

Went in the 1st week in October, shorts and tee shirt weather every day, couldn’t believe our luck, even the wettest day on history we played Machrihanish dunes and it stayed totally dry. 

Loved Islay, what a stunning place, I want to return and take my bike.


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## Slick (19 Nov 2020)

L Q said:


> Thought I would let you know about our trip to Machrihanish, went for 7 days played
> 
> Skiskine
> 2 rounds at the Machrie
> ...


Some of the best golf around right there. 👍

I love Islay, best b&b ever is the Machrie guest house but I haven't been there for a number of years, so haven't even played the new layout yet but they tell me it's good. Great you got the weather, those courses can appear pretty simple in benign conditions but add a bit of wind over your left shoulder and you have a game on your hands.


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## L Q (19 Nov 2020)

Slick said:


> Some of the best golf around right there. 👍
> 
> I love Islay, best b&b ever is the Machrie guest house but I haven't been there for a number of years, so haven't even played the new layout yet but they tell me it's good. Great you got the weather, those courses can appear pretty simple in benign conditions but add a bit of wind over your left shoulder and you have a game on your hands.


Stayed 2 nights at the Machrie hotel, amazing place and the staff couldn’t do enough. Would love to go back.

The golf course is right up there for me, it’s in my top 10 and I have been lucky enough to play some awesome courses over the last few years. 

The Machrie we didn’t have more than a club wind for 2 days. Incredible. 

Oh and the way I played I didn’t find any course simple 😳


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