# Vasectomy and bike saddles (Mod edited title)



## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

Having decided to go for the snip does it change the style of seat required?
Like to to a short nose seat with a hole for women or just stick to the standard male seat??


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## TheDoctor (15 Feb 2022)

Do you mean vasectomy, by any chance?


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

TheDoctor said:


> Do you mean vasectomy, by any chance?


Yeah get the nuts chopped


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

In that case, "No".


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

You do actually know what is done in a vasectomy don't you?  It's not like neutering a dog or cat


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## T4tomo (15 Feb 2022)

Why the heck would two tiny tubes having a snip & knot in them change anything?? Looks like you have a trike anyway?


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## CXRAndy (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Having decided to go for the snip does it change the style of seat required?
> Like to to a short nose seat with a hole for women or just stick to the standard male seat??


You will likely not riding for upto a few weeks post vasectomy 

Its always advisable to use a centre removed saddle, relieves pressure on the perineum. There are several nerves which can for some become problematic without a cutout saddle 

Owner of Selle Italia Superflow


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

T4tomo said:


> Why the heck would two tiny tubes having a snip & knot in them change anything?? Looks like you have a trike anyway?


Well I don't know so asking.
Yes I have a trike but I do have some bikes ....


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## T4tomo (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Well I don't know so asking.


rest assured nothing changes, except you will be no longer loaded with swimmers....


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## byegad (15 Feb 2022)

Depends how you have it done. I had mine privately under a local on a Thursday evening and was fine, if a little sore from the stitch pulling for a few days. Once I removed the stitch, it was one of those dissolving one, but having checked I was healed on the Tuesday night I used my Swiss army knife scissors to snip it and pull it out, I was out on the bike the next Friday night. My then boss, having been appraised as to why I may be off the day after the surgery was amazed to see me at work and asked me if I'd chickened out. 

Nearly everyone I know opted for a general and had real issues. My surgeon had advised a local because 'Then you can properly relax and I don't have to grab them and drag them down to access the Vas.'
My brother in law walked into the house after discharge and promptly fainted onto his front, not doing the lads any good at all! Another friend was practically using a wheelbarrow to carry his spuds for a few days!


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Well I don't know so asking.
> Yes I have a trike but I do have some bikes ....


https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasectomy-male-sterilisation/

You realise male and female anatomy are still completely different after a vasectomy (it's not a sex change )


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

Seems logical then.
Don't have any kids and don't intend to.
Germ infested vermin they are, schools are a breeding ground for dirty skanks


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## Spiderweb (15 Feb 2022)

I tried Googling ‘bike saddle for a man with a front bottom’ …..


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

Spiderweb said:


> I tried Googling ‘bike saddle for a man with a front bottom’ …..




Any results???


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## T4tomo (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Seems logical then.
> Don't have any kids and don't intend to.
> Germ infested vermin they are, schools are a breeding ground for dirty skanks


anatomy
reproduction

- any other areas you are staggeringly ill informed about?


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## Spiderweb (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Any results???


Looks as though you have a few options👍


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## Cycleops (15 Feb 2022)

I shouldn’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be fine on the bike afterwards. There’s only pain if the doctor gets his thumbs trapped between the two bricks.


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## Ming the Merciless (15 Feb 2022)

Are you going to change your name to Eunuch Triker ?


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## Ian H (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasectomy-male-sterilisation/
> 
> You realise male and female anatomy are still completely different after a vasectomy (it's not a sex change )


I wonder whether he's getting it done on the cheap by a local farmer.


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

T4tomo said:


> anatomy
> reproduction
> 
> - any other areas you are staggeringly ill informed about?


Plenty thanks....
You?


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

Ian H said:


> I wonder whether he's getting it done on the cheap by a local farmer.


I'm not sure he really needs to worry about having it done full stop


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## DRM (15 Feb 2022)

Ian H said:


> I wonder whether he's getting it done on the cheap by a local farmer.


Reminds me of a farmer I knew, he'd been castrating lambs all day, and his wife came home to find the removed items in a bowl in the fridge, she wasn't best pleased, but the farmhand wanted them, but to add to her displeasure the cat came limping past looking sorry for itself, only to be told, oh we did him too whilst we were at it to save on the vet's bill.


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## Ming the Merciless (15 Feb 2022)

DRM said:


> Reminds me of a farmer I knew, he'd been castrating lambs all day, and his wife came home to find the removed items in a bowl in the fridge, she wasn't best pleased, but the farmhand wanted them, but to add to her displeasure the cat came limping past looking sorry for itself, only to be told, oh we did him too whilst we were at it to save on the vet's bill.



Should have gone to SpecSavers


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> I'm not sure he really needs to worry about having it done full stop


True but the Doris is on the pill and I don't think it's good for her long-term.
I'll go with the farmer approach using two bricks I think...

I did consider the vet lol seeing as there here enough.... Get value for money....


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## DRM (15 Feb 2022)

Ming the Merciless said:


> Should have gone to SpecSavers


Nah, Yorkshire farmers, won't pay for a vet if it's not necessary


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## DRM (15 Feb 2022)

All I'll say is some people are ok after the snip, some suffer discomfort, but when you've done the bandy legged walk with hands in pockets to stop any unnecessary rubbing, then you will know all about it, but basically give it a week before riding (anything )


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

DRM said:


> All I'll say is some people are ok after the snip, some suffer discomfort, but when you've done the bandy legged walk with hands in pockets to stop any unnecessary rubbing, then you will know all about it, but basically give it a week before riding (anything )


Did you get a decent movie to watch when you went back to see if you're a Jaffa or was it the nurse with the glove that poked you in the right place?


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## Milkfloat (15 Feb 2022)

I rode home after mine because they told me I could not drive, luckily it was only about 4 miles. However, I would not suggest doing that as got quite uncomfortable towards the finishing straight.


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## DRM (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Did you get a decent movie to watch when you went back to see if you're a Jaffa or was it the nurse with the glove that poked you in the right place?


That job went to SWMBO, the things we have to do eh


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> True but the Doris is on the pill and I don't think it's good for her long-term.
> I'll go with the farmer approach using two bricks I think...
> 
> I did consider the vet lol seeing as there here enough.... Get value for money....


Better start saving up then 
Or why do you need a farmer, just borrow a couple of bricks from one of those many building sites you pass and get one of the labourers to oblige for some beer tokens 

There are alternatives to the pill and surely she can decide for herself with proper medical advice


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## Reynard (15 Feb 2022)

You lot are responsible for me blowing tea out of my nose.

I must not laugh, I must not laugh, I must not laugh...

Oh heck, I'll laugh.


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## Blue Hills (15 Feb 2022)

When the history of cyclechat is written and released to a grateful world this thread will surely be in it?


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> Better start saving up then
> Or why do you need a farmer, just borrow a couple of bricks from one of those many building sites you pass and get one of the labourers to oblige for some beer tokens
> 
> There are alternatives to the pill and surely she can decide for herself with proper medical advice


Why should it be the woman that deals with it.

Are you from Yorkshite?


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Why should it be the woman that deals with it.
> 
> Are you from Yorkshite?


No, assuming you mean Yorkshire but I have no idea what that might do with contraception


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## Roseland triker (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> No, assuming you mean Yorkshire but I have no idea what that might do with contraception


Your comment just seemed like a tea drinkers opinion...


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Your comment just seemed like a tea drinkers opinion...


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

Spoiler: Seek and ye shall find



cow castration bands


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

classic33 said:


> Spoiler: Seek and ye shall find
> 
> 
> 
> cow castration bands


Ummm why would you ever castrate a cow?!


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## Ming the Merciless (15 Feb 2022)

Maybe the OP could go for the castric band option?


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> Ummm why would you ever castrate a cow?!


Mastitis.


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## Bonefish Blues (15 Feb 2022)

classic33 said:


> Mastitis.


Udderly ridiculous


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## Ming the Merciless (15 Feb 2022)

Bonefish Blues said:


> Udderly ridiculous



Probably yoghurt


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## vickster (15 Feb 2022)

classic33 said:


> Mastitis.


would that be called castration though, or mastectomy?  although any surgery seems pretty radical for an infection


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## rogerzilla (15 Feb 2022)

This whole thread is making me wince.


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## MontyVeda (15 Feb 2022)

Is this thread real or have the chatbots got a virus?


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## dave r (15 Feb 2022)

Just be careful where you go for it.


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> would that be called castration though, or mastectomy?  although any surgery seems pretty radical for an infection


If it's got bad enough to be using them, the next step is the last one.


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## roadrash (15 Feb 2022)

judging from some of the op's remarks in this thread i think its a good idea that it is done as soon as possible, and I hope there isnt any offspring already.

by the way mine was done with local aneasthetic, wouldnt have general unless absolutely needed.


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## SpokeyDokey (15 Feb 2022)

What a stupid thread title and stupid thread tbh. 😒


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## MontyVeda (15 Feb 2022)

SpokeyDokey said:


> What a stupid thread title and stupid thread tbh. 😒


Hopefully the Op has learned something about what getting the snip actually involves... so it's not all bad


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## Bonefish Blues (15 Feb 2022)

MontyVeda said:


> Hopefully the Op has learned something about what getting the snip actually involves... so it's not all bad


Part of me rather hopes he arrives and checks in with a jovial "I'm here for castration"


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## KnittyNorah (15 Feb 2022)

Vasectomies (rather than castration) on pet and other domestic animals are increasingly popular for a range of reasons - so the vet may well be an alternative!


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## CXRAndy (15 Feb 2022)

I had it done years ago, I've got enough kids. 

Done under local, about 7-10 days discomfort. There was a male and female dragging the crown jewels around. The smell from the laser burning your flesh is something you neve forget


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## Bonefish Blues (15 Feb 2022)

CXRAndy said:


> I had it done years ago, I've got enough kids.
> 
> Done under local, about 7-10 days discomfort. There was a male and female dragging the crown jewels around. The smell from the laser burning your flesh is something you neve forget


A bit like this?


View: https://youtu.be/DoQwKe0lggw


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## steveindenmark (15 Feb 2022)

vickster said:


> You do actually know what is done in a vasectomy don't you?  It's not like neutering a dog or cat


But maybe in this case it should be 😁😁


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## Landsurfer (15 Feb 2022)

Please God stop the OP breeding !!


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## Reynard (15 Feb 2022)

I dunno... Maybe it's his ambition to sing soprano for the ENO at Glyndebourne... 

FYI, castrati singers were very famous and celebrated, back in the day, but the practice kind of died out when women began taking a bigger role in the arts.


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## BurningLegs (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Having decided to go for the snip does it change the style of seat required?
> Like to to a short nose seat with a hole for women or just stick to the standard male seat??



Just properly rest up until you’re healed and then back to everything as normal. Cycling included. 

It’s a very very minor procedure, and even less minor than it used to be (not even any stitches these days). Literally the only way it can get complicated is if you don’t listen to medical advice and fail to rest up properly.

I had it done in May and was told not to ride for two weeks. I felt ready after 10 days but waited and felt a very small amount of discomfort. Kept doing short rides every couple of days and back to full intensity about a week later. 



byegad said:


> Depends how you have it done. I had mine privately under a local on a Thursday evening and was fine, if a little sore from the stitch pulling for a few days. Once I removed the stitch, it was one of those dissolving one, but having checked I was healed on the Tuesday night I used my Swiss army knife scissors to snip it and pull it out, I was out on the bike the next Friday night. My then boss, having been appraised as to why I may be off the day after the surgery was amazed to see me at work and asked me if I'd chickened out.
> 
> Nearly everyone I know opted for a general and had real issues. My surgeon had advised a local because 'Then you can properly relax and I don't have to grab them and drag them down to access the Vas.'
> My brother in law walked into the house after discharge and promptly fainted onto his front, not doing the lads any good at all! Another friend was practically using a wheelbarrow to carry his spuds for a few days!


Was this some time ago, by any chance? It’s not routinely done under general at all these days and is really a very minor procedure. They don’t even tie anymore!


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## MontyVeda (15 Feb 2022)

I seem to recall i was only off work for a week and had no choice but to cycle in (other option was a 5 mile walk)


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## DCLane (15 Feb 2022)

Reynard said:


> You lot are responsible for me blowing tea out of my nose.
> 
> I must not laugh, I must not laugh, I must not laugh...
> 
> Oh heck, I'll laugh.



You might have laughed. I winced. 

And as to a saddle, maybe one of these?


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## Spiderweb (15 Feb 2022)

Bonefish Blues said:


> Part of me rather hopes he arrives and checks in with a jovial "I'm here for castration"


Or I’m here for a front bottom!


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## Bonefish Blues (15 Feb 2022)

Reynard said:


> I dunno... Maybe it's his ambition to sing soprano for the ENO at Glyndebourne...
> 
> FYI, castrati singers were very famous and celebrated, back in the day, but the practice kind of died out when women began taking a bigger role in the arts.


Something in common with the OP, who's going to have substantially smaller parts too.


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## Reynard (15 Feb 2022)

Bonefish Blues said:


> Something in common with the OP, who's going to have substantially smaller parts too.



I saw what you did, there...


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## fossyant (15 Feb 2022)

T4tomo said:


> Why the heck would two tiny tubes having a snip & knot in them change anything?? Looks like you have a trike anyway?



Unless they feck it up. PS it's not a knot, zap to sever, zap to seal one end, zap to do the other end, then repeat (and the anaesthetic doesn't take). Unless your doc missed like mine and got the blood supply as well 

Same saddles, but was off the bike 4 weeks, then in tonnes of pain riding after. Never again.


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## DCLane (15 Feb 2022)

fossyant said:


> Same saddles, but was off the bike 4 weeks, then in tonnes of pain riding after. Never again.



Well I'm guessing it's a one-time only thing


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## fossyant (15 Feb 2022)

Roseland triker said:


> Well I don't know so asking.
> Yes I have a trike but I do have some bikes ....



I suggest you look up PVPS - bet the doc hasn't told you about it. 1 in 10 blokes get long term pain. Can't be fixed. Over 9 years with pain here, additional surgery, two additional painful 'proceures' and still not fixed. It's surgery and it can go wrong, and it's a fairly high rate 1 in 10.


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## fossyant (15 Feb 2022)

DCLane said:


> Well I'm guessing it's a one-time only thing



Nope, not if it goes wrong - needed more 'repairs', and I was under general for a few hours whilst the consultant worked on lefty.


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## fossyant (15 Feb 2022)

KnittyNorah said:


> Vasectomies (rather than castration) on pet and other domestic animals are increasingly popular for a range of reasons - so the vet may well be an alternative!



Funny you should mention vets - our 3 male cats have had their nuts removed, and the vet did a far better job than the 'doctor' did on me. No infections and the cats were charging about as soon as they got home - didn't even notice. Unfortunatley, once you've had the snip, no matter how bad the pain is, the consultant won't chop yer nuts off - I've asked - apparently no guarantee the pain wil go.


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

fossyant said:


> Funny you should mention vets - our 3 male cats have had their nuts removed, and the vet did a far better job than the 'doctor' did on me. No infections and the cats were charging about as soon as they got home - didn't even notice. Unfortunatley, once you've had the snip, no matter how bad the pain is, the consultant won't chop yer nuts off - I've asked - apparently no guarantee the pain wil go.


Mine went 10th August 99.
"Take it easy for the next few days" was the only advice given.


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## Milkfloat (15 Feb 2022)

CXRAndy said:


> I had it done years ago, I've got enough kids.
> 
> Done under local, about 7-10 days discomfort. There was a male and female dragging the crown jewels around. The smell from the laser burning your flesh is something you neve forget


For me the smell was worse when I had laser surgery on my eyes; burnt bacon.


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## Blue Hills (15 Feb 2022)

SpokeyDokey said:


> What a stupid thread title and stupid thread tbh. 😒


yebbut why has the title been mod edited?
Am genuinely puzzled.
especially as the word appears in the thread several times and is alluded to several times.
Anyone care to enlighten me?


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

Blue Hills said:


> yebbut why has the title been mod edited?
> Am genuinely puzzled.
> especially as the word appears in the thread several times and is alluded to several times.
> Anyone care to enlighten me?


Think "castration" in the title, in beginner's was a little out of place.


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## Blue Hills (15 Feb 2022)

classic33 said:


> Think "castration" in the title, in beginner's was a little out of place.


thanks for the reply classic but still puzzled to be honest.
We're all, or mostly, adults.


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## classic33 (15 Feb 2022)

Blue Hills said:


> thanks for the reply classic but still puzzled to be honest.
> We're all, or mostly, adults.


It's not as though you can become more experienced in the procedure though, getting better the next time you do it.


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## a.twiddler (15 Feb 2022)

The OP seems to have drifted away about 2 1/2 pages ago.


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## Rusty Nails (15 Feb 2022)

byegad said:


> Depends how you have it done. I had mine privately under a local on a Thursday evening and was fine, if a little sore from the stitch pulling for a few days. Once I removed the stitch, it was one of those dissolving one, but having checked I was healed on the Tuesday night I used my Swiss army knife scissors to snip it and pull it out, I was out on the bike the next Friday night. My then boss, having been appraised as to why I may be off the day after the surgery was amazed to see me at work and asked me if I'd chickened out.
> 
> Nearly everyone I know opted for a general and had real issues. My surgeon had advised a local because 'Then you can properly relax and I don't have to grab them and drag them down to access the Vas.'
> My brother in law walked into the house after discharge and promptly fainted onto his front, not doing the lads any good at all! Another friend was practically using a wheelbarrow to carry his spuds for a few days!


Do they do it under a general anaesthetic? I had it done on the NHS a long time ago and it was a quick outpatient visit with a local anaesthetic. Not exactly pleasant but nothing to really moan about and I would have thought a general anaesthetic was overkill unless someone is very nervous or squeamish.
I started using a Selle SMP Extra split saddle a year or more ago on my gravel bike because of other issues and have found it so good I fitted one on my road bike.


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## newfhouse (16 Feb 2022)

a.twiddler said:


> The OP seems to have drifted away about 2 1/2 pages ago.


Cut off in his prime.


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## biggs682 (16 Feb 2022)

We had our cat done when we got him from the local cat protection league .


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## biggs682 (16 Feb 2022)

biggs682 said:


> We had our cat done when we got him from the local cat protection league .


Oh and we had him chipped so he would purr along a bit quicker just like the boy racers do in there chipped cars


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## OldShep (16 Feb 2022)

Rusty Nails said:


> Do they do it under a general anaesthetic? I


They did when I was done early eighties. Ward full of men coming round from the anaesthetic and their hands going down under the sheets to have feel to make sure all was in tact.


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## Alex321 (16 Feb 2022)

Blue Hills said:


> thanks for the reply classic but still puzzled to be honest.
> We're all, or mostly, adults.


It isn't about being "adult", it is about it being the wrong word for eth procedure.

You might have noticed the first response was from a mod asking if he actually mean vasectomy, so then the title was changed to be correct.


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## Blue Hills (16 Feb 2022)

Alex321 said:


> It isn't about being "adult", it is about it being the wrong word for eth procedure.
> 
> You might have noticed the first response was from a mod asking if he actually mean vasectomy, so then the title was changed to be correct.


still don't see the sense or agree to be honest.
Cripes - there's lots of wrong words used for stuff all across cyclechat, lots of wonky possibly barmy arguments/views - "wrong" can be enlightening, interesting, funny etc etc.
Nowt stranger than folk, truth often stranger more interesting than fiction - hence my REALLY TRUE odd factoids thread.


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## Ming the Merciless (16 Feb 2022)

OldShep said:


> They did when I was done early eighties.



Wow,, they will still do it when you are that old.


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## fossyant (16 Feb 2022)

Rusty Nails said:


> Do they do it under a general anaesthetic? I had it done on the NHS a long time ago and it was a quick outpatient visit with a local anaesthetic. Not exactly pleasant but nothing to really moan about and I would have thought a general anaesthetic was overkill unless someone is very nervous or squeamish.
> I started using a Selle SMP Extra split saddle a year or more ago on my gravel bike because of other issues and have found it so good I fitted one on my road bike.



No. Local, and if you are lucky it takes. One side no pain, one side no anaesthetic, and considering they burn you 3 times I was finding it hard to stay still.

My wife referred it to feeling like a back street abortion clinic. Queue of blokes one after the other with partners outside. You walked in to the room with the smell of the previous guys burnt bacon. Pretty disgusting experience. And some other doctor just walked in when I was all out, whilst the doc was scrabbling round for a needle and thread to patch up the bleeding.


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## a.twiddler (16 Feb 2022)

Agree with @Alex321. I suspect the OP was fishing for a reaction, and he certainly got it. If you see some of his other posts, you can see the trend.


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## Roseland triker (16 Feb 2022)

a.twiddler said:


> Agree with @Alex321. I suspect the OP was fishing for a reaction, and he certainly got it. If you see some of his other posts, you can see the trend.


I don't spend all day online so only just caught up from yesterday.


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## Rusty Nails (16 Feb 2022)

OldShep said:


> They did when I was done early eighties. Ward full of men coming round from the anaesthetic and their hands going down under the sheets to have feel to make sure all was in tact.


My snip was in1985 and I'm not sure GA was even an option. A GA op puts a lot more workload and bed space on the , but saying that I know some people who had GA for throat endoscopies.


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## byegad (16 Feb 2022)

Rusty Nails said:


> My snip was in1985 and I'm not sure GA was even an option. A GA op puts a lot more workload and bed space on the , but saying that I know some people who had GA for throat endoscopies.


Mine and the others I alluded to were all mid 80s. Here in NE England, and in the NW it appeared to be NHS policy to use a General, certainly my Brother in Law had no choice. As I paid for mine I had the choice, there were considerable financial benefits to having a local. Not being over squeamish I saved the cash, a 'Good Yorkshire decision!' Overall it was simpler than a tooth extraction, and not much more expensive, but at the other end, so to speak.


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## CXRAndy (16 Feb 2022)

DCLane said:


> You might have laughed. I winced.
> 
> And as to a saddle, maybe one of these?
> 
> View attachment 631163


I used the ISM Adamo saddle for quite a few years. Pretty comfortable even on big rides. But I eventually found the perfect saddle

Selle Italia Superflow


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## a.twiddler (16 Feb 2022)

You could ride those naked, and let it all hang out.


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## fossyant (16 Feb 2022)

a.twiddler said:


> You could ride those naked, and let it all hang out.


Or get things stuck.


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## a.twiddler (16 Feb 2022)

Depends on how warm it is, I suppose!


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## Reynard (16 Feb 2022)

Oi, pass the mind bleach, you lot!


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## postman (16 Feb 2022)

Look this lot are winding you up.You lay down on an operating table,awake, legs slightly apart.You are looking down your body.You then see a pair of hands holding a large syringe,you have no idea where it is going,with the second shot you know exactly where it's going.The pain soon goes.Then when finished you slide sideways off the table.The trouble I had was big feet they had trouble finding high heels for me, they are better than walking on the balls of your feet.


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## Blue Hills (17 Feb 2022)

a.twiddler said:


> You could ride those naked, and let it all hang out.


am afraid they always remind me of those things for removing embedded ticks






and so back to the original title.


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## Randomnerd (17 Feb 2022)

OP maybe a former copper with a penchant for guns, boasting, Volvos and saving lives up mountains? 
Certainly fictional.


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## DCBassman (17 Feb 2022)

Ok, I missed it, what WAS the original title?


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## Blue Hills (17 Feb 2022)

DCBassman said:


> Ok, I missed it, what WAS the original title?


send credit card details to mods to prove you are over 18.


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## Reynard (17 Feb 2022)

DCBassman said:


> Ok, I missed it, what WAS the original title?



Something about a pompomectomy....


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## Ming the Merciless (18 Feb 2022)




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