# Pointless / stupid things shouted at you whilst on a bike #364



## 4F (17 Apr 2013)

"Oi mate, your wheels are square" 

WTF is the point of that ? I blame the schools....


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## ianrauk (17 Apr 2013)

I blame you and your square wheels.


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## tadpole (17 Apr 2013)

"Dead man riding"


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## AndyPeace (17 Apr 2013)

4F said:


> "Oi mate, your wheels are square"
> 
> WTF is the point of that ? I blame the schools....


 
I had a car of youths follow me about and they kept shouting "oy mate! your wheels....they're going round"...
They must have been studying circles at school that day and you can't knock their enthusiasm, as each time they said it, it had a tone of wonder and amazement. I have no fears of old age, with young un's like this our world is in safe hands.


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## Peter Armstrong (17 Apr 2013)

To get you to look at your wheels, then they can laugh.
You should just look at your wheels and make happy for a few seconds of their special lives. its all they have to look forward too.


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## SquareDaff (17 Apr 2013)

"That looks like hard work" - that's because I'm training and it is!


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## semislickstick (17 Apr 2013)

"Are you a bus?" as I was using a bus lane(and cycle lane)


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## kedab (17 Apr 2013)

about 11pm riding home from work - car full of lads cruises past, one of them leans out and yells, 'you will be a champion one day!' cheeky git.


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## jarlrmai (17 Apr 2013)

ahh its the car shouty season again hurrah


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## Hacienda71 (17 Apr 2013)

"Scrub it helmet head" shouted at my dad back in the eighties when helmets were not as common.


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## BentMikey (17 Apr 2013)

Thanks to someone on the predecessor to this, the C+ forum, or was it URC? Can't remember, anyway, this was one of my best comebacks ever. He tried to chase me down after I retorted. 



p.s. apols if you've seen it before.


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## Moodyman (17 Apr 2013)

Had a few shouts of encouragement during and immediately after last year's Olympics.
They were thoughtful but a bit pointless in my opinion.


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## summerdays (17 Apr 2013)

Someone shook their head and made disapproving signs at me tonight ... the cause ... I was drinking from my water bottle and cycling at the same time (on a cycle path). I can't think of any other reason he was annoyed (apart from the fact I was moving and he wasn't).


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## mr messy (17 Apr 2013)

Lad leaned out piece'o'sh*t Corsa and shouted "Lazy bastid!" Go figure...


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## bianchi1 (17 Apr 2013)

I was time trialling once when a car drove past with the passenger hanging out proudly displaying an 'adult' magazine. He shouted something like "check out the....." but I didn't hear the rest. 

Made me smile despite the pain of racing.


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## wiggydiggy (17 Apr 2013)

"Theres a cyclist with a beard, wave to the cyclist with a beard!"

Technically not a car - hired canal barge with (stag?) do on it, gave me a wave and friendly shouts


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## ayceejay (17 Apr 2013)

You would have to say that almost anything shouted at you by definition was stupid, no?


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## Sillyoldman (17 Apr 2013)

Or inspirational.... For me at least when a couple of kids in a Corsa shouted "go on space hopper, give it some".that was 3stones ago and spurred me on to lose weight and get fitter.


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## Melonfish (18 Apr 2013)

I got shouted at from across the road by a cyclist in the shared use cycle path.

for not being in said cycle path.


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## inkd (18 Apr 2013)

Cars full of yobs "anka" I never hear the first letter?


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## Andrew_Culture (18 Apr 2013)

inkd said:


> Cars full of yobs "anka" I never hear the first letter?


 
In Suffolk the pronunciation for 'wanka' and 'thank-ya' are identical.


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## CopperCyclist (18 Apr 2013)

When riding in a group - "One, two, three, four self-gratification artists!"

I retorted "Well done mate, keep working on your numbers at school and you'll be on to colours and shapes in no time."


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## MacB (18 Apr 2013)

Sillyoldman said:


> Or inspirational.... For me at least when a couple of kids in a Corsa shouted "go on space hopper, give it some".that was 3stones ago and spurred me on to lose weight and get fitter.


 
Now that would have made me laugh


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## Davidc (18 Apr 2013)

"If you was a car you'da been scrapped by now, grandad".

From the passenger in a polo with its suspension dropped so low there were sparks flying as it went along.

I didn't have a reply (after all it's probably true!).


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## Brains (18 Apr 2013)

inkd said:


> Cars full of yobs "anka" I never hear the first letter?


it's a nautical term, normally spelt 'anchor'


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## Nigel-YZ1 (18 Apr 2013)

Brains said:


> it's a nautical term, normally spelt 'anchor'


 
Or they were recommending music - They's probably got Paul Anka on the stereo!


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## Tim Hall (18 Apr 2013)

User13710 said:


> On a Night Ride, lots of us breezing along enjoying the camaraderie, having a wonderful time - passing car, very fat drunk bloke leaning out of passenger window: "Get a f***ing life!"
> 
> Oh how we laughed.


Also on an FNRTTC, at early o'clock: "Oh, for goodness sake, go to bed".


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## doug (18 Apr 2013)

Cycling back from a 100km MTB mudfest, splattered from head to toe in only the finest high quality Chiltern's mud, a chav in a Vauxhall Chavette (ok it was a Corsa) leaned out and shouted - "You are a dirty old man !", and the thing was he was totally correct and made me laugh


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## Amanda P (18 Apr 2013)

Funny, the only thing anyone yells at me is something like "Fwaaaarrrghh nggg ruuaaahhh". Or variations thereon. It stumps me every time - how do you reply to that?

Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.


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## sickboyblue (18 Apr 2013)

I was told I had a nice shiny helmet by a young lady a couple of weeks ago.. I had to stop and make sure my shorts had no holes.


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## pally83 (18 Apr 2013)

I got "bike w*nker" a couple of years ago from some lads at a bus stop. Inbetweeners fans will understand.


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## DrLex (18 Apr 2013)

pally83 said:


> I got "bike w*nker" a couple of years ago from some lads at a bus stop. Inbetweeners fans will understand.



:-) 
At a bus stop? The irony is delicious!


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## mattobrien (18 Apr 2013)

Mr Andrew_Culture and I got cheered on by a group of young ladies only earlier this week. I presume it was purely down to boyish good looks as I hadn't had the opportunity to charm them with my rapier like wit...


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## glasgowcyclist (18 Apr 2013)

"Are you disabled?"

I was on the recumbent.


GC


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## sabian92 (18 Apr 2013)

glasgowcyclist said:


> "Are you disabled?"
> 
> I was on the recumbent.
> 
> ...



In all fairness all disabled riders ride recumbents so it is sort of understandable.

I haven't really been heckled. Nearly got doored once and called the dozy woman a prick. I don't even think she noticed she nearly had me off.


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## Nathjh (19 Apr 2013)

I had someone shout "get some f***ing lights you t**t!" Before. Ironically I had 2 of those Cree zoomable lights on the front and I looked light a Christmas tree from behind. (Rucksack cover, 2 cateyes and 2 little dangly bouncy aroundy ones hanging from my bag)


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## BentMikey (19 Apr 2013)

sabian92 said:


> In all fairness all disabled riders ride recumbents so it is sort of understandable.


 
Most people don't realise that there is more range and variation in recumbents than there are in normal upright bikes.

I've had the disabled thing: "Yeah, it's me legs." *pedals off*


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## Fnaar (19 Apr 2013)

I'm feeling nostalgic for the old shout of "get orf and milk it!"


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## BentMikey (19 Apr 2013)

Fnaar said:


> I'm feeling nostalgic for the old shout of "get orf and milk it!"


 
That's class, that is. I'm always delighted when someone comes up with that one. 

I've told a few car drivers to get out and milk it.


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## Fnaar (19 Apr 2013)

BentMikey said:


> That's class, that is. I'm always delighted when someone comes up with that one.
> 
> I've told a few car drivers to get out and milk it.


Hmm,,,various theories as to what it means: http://forum.tz-uk.com/showthread.php?162918-meaning-of-Get-off-and-milk-it!


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## Tim Hall (19 Apr 2013)

sabian92 said:


> In all fairness all disabled riders ride recumbents so it is sort of understandable.









So they do.


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## Andrew_Culture (19 Apr 2013)

mattobrien said:


> Mr Andrew_Culture and I got cheered on by a group of young ladies only earlier this week. I presume it was purely down to boyish good looks as I hadn't had the opportunity to charm them with my rapier like wit...


 
I like to think of the sight of me on a bike is a kind of physical joke


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## sabian92 (19 Apr 2013)

Tim Hall said:


> So they do.


 
I meanst most, not all, whoops! 

I meant a lot of people you see day to day generally ride recumbents. I know there are exeptions to the rule.


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## Kookas (19 Apr 2013)

Never really had any smart-ass shouting, but when I was 12, I used to ride an MTB on the pavement and had really long, curly hair. That hair almost got decapitated once, when a group of girls took a fancy to it as I rode past and thought they'd have a go at stroking it (without me stopping). I have to hand it to them for spotting the hair in the pitch black darkness, though.

Other than that, I probably haven't been cycling through the right places. There were some drunk ladies after what looked like a hen-do calling out for some sort of superhero known as 'Cyclist-man' a few weeks back... the University is always a mess.


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## Saluki (19 Apr 2013)

We've had the usual shouts of 'encouragement'. Once I had a chap lean right out of the passenger side window and slap my arse as he passed me. The car was doing well over 40mph and I had a bruise which went down to the back of my knee and right up to my bra strap. That bloody hurt. I didn't get his reg number sadly.


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## jarlrmai (19 Apr 2013)

jesus, that is assault.


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## manalog (20 Apr 2013)

A Middle age man walking ahead of us shouted 'you should be on the road' except I wasn't cycling on the pavement my 5 year old son was! WTF


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## Shut Up Legs (20 Apr 2013)

Kookas said:


> Never really had any smart-ass shouting, but when I was 12, I used to ride an MTB on the pavement and had really long, curly hair. That hair almost got decapitated once, when a group of girls took a fancy to it as I rode past and thought they'd have a go at stroking it (without me stopping). I have to hand it to them for spotting the hair in the pitch black darkness, though.
> 
> Other than that, I probably haven't been cycling through the right places. There were some drunk ladies after what looked like a hen-do calling out for some sort of superhero known as 'Cyclist-man' a few weeks back... the University is always a mess.


Oh yeah, that'd be this guy:


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## GlenBen (20 Apr 2013)

I love this thread, Ive actually been laughing for ages at some of those. 

Unfortunatly all I ever seem to get is

"Get ON the pavement (insert offensive word)"


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## BenM (20 Apr 2013)

last night.. Corsage full of 'boyz', "you lazy git, stop lying down and get a proper bike"... they were going the same way as I was which is how I got to actually understand what they were saying 

it has just occurred to me the bike is worth more than their car was!


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## Deleted member 20519 (20 Apr 2013)

"On yer bike!"

Yes. Yes I am.


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## Boris Bajic (20 Apr 2013)

"Oy mate, are you gay?"

I was wearing an ancient replica_ maglia rosa_, so my normally very butch and straight appearance might have been slightly skewed.

Not that I'm bothered by this sort of remark. Quite the opposite. Some of my best friends, after all, are... Well, I'm sure you know what I mean. Actually none of my bes friends are.

And if a man is comfortable within himself he can get away with a little pink in his clothing. Well, I suppose it's closer to a salmon or a cerise, maybe a bright fuscia, but you know what I mean.


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## youngoldbloke (20 Apr 2013)

jazloc said:


> "On yer bike!"
> 
> Yes. Yes I am.


Me too - I congratulated them on their powers of observation.


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## ianrauk (20 Apr 2013)

I've told this story before.

I was tacking behind a fully lycra'd up roadie one evening on my commute home.
We stopped at a junction. Next to us was a little hatch with a couple of chavs inside.
Passenger shouted to the roadie. "You look gay mate". To which the roadie quick as a flash came back with "When I'm shagging your mum I'm not".
I near fell of my bike laughing.


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## i hate hills (20 Apr 2013)

I've had "gie's a backie" so many times.


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## Buzzinonbikes (21 Apr 2013)

"Are you enjoying the Tour de Stockport?!" On a recent club ride haha


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## sickboyblue (21 Apr 2013)

Just had a cracker, cycling past a group of kids10/11 years old i hear "Eeeyaaar ( anyone from Manchester will tell you the type of person that says this won't be out of place on the set of shameless) da marafonz finished mate" The future of our country right there! Where's my passport?


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## i hate hills (21 Apr 2013)

BentMikey said:


> Thanks to someone on the predecessor to this, the C+ forum, or was it URC? Can't remember, anyway, this was one of my best comebacks ever. He tried to chase me down after I retorted.
> 
> 
> 
> p.s. apols if you've seen it before.



Love it . Can i please use that one ?


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## BentMikey (22 Apr 2013)

Natch, it's not my saying, but one I learnt from someone else. I bet it's as old as the bicycle.


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## Matthew_T (22 Apr 2013)

People only really shout at me during summer as windows are open so yobs like to take the opportunity.

It used to bother me but it doesnt now. All I do now is just add the vehicle to my database so that if something serious happens, I can refer to it.


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## jarlrmai (22 Apr 2013)

Matthew_T said:


> database


 
Never change man!


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## Gravity Aided (23 Apr 2013)

I did get yelled at coming out of the hardware store parking lot the other day, I believe I was holding the fellow up from getting a paint color he could fall in love with...


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## Mad Doug Biker (23 Apr 2013)

bianchi1 said:


> I was time trialling once when a car drove past with the passenger hanging out proudly displaying an 'adult' magazine. He shouted something like "check out the....." but I didn't hear the rest.



'..... Bottom bracket on her?'



> Made me smile despite the pain of racing.



Life would be oh so much duller without such people, lets face it! Actually, talking of which, I rarely get any abuse, but the last time I got shouted at was from one of the genuine local special needs types because I wasn't wearing a helmet at the time (yes, the potential irony isn't lost on me).

This, I have to point out, if you remember a few months ago, was the guy I saw having a fit in the middle of a busy road and I proceeded to move him and his shopping to the pavement. When he came round, he had a go at me because I had moved his shopping and had probably crushed a cream cake he had. The fact that I had just dragged him out of the middle of a main road seemingly meant nothing to him compared to the structural integrity of his cake (the aforementioned structural integrity of which, ironically would have been severely compromised had a car hit it anyway!).
To be fair, he works at a local supermarket and apparently gets paid in food (from what I've heard), but, still, being more concerned about a cake's safety as a pose to your own is just a bit out of proportion, regardless of how nice the cake might be! 

Of course, going back to the original message, maybe he did have a point when he shouted at me after all, I mean, my head without the helmet could have *potentially* ended up like the feared condition of his cream cake (sort of) had I been in an accident.


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## markharry66 (23 Apr 2013)

> database


 are you serious Matthew time to go out and get a life its to short.


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## sheffgirl (23 Apr 2013)

Now the weather is getting warmer, the remarks seem to be more common. Mostly its 'go on love', I even got that from a fellow cyclist last week, it made me smile. Not really had any negative comments yet, I'm sure I've seen guys looking at my bum though


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## Kies (23 Apr 2013)

It was my turn to shout something today on my quick ride after work, to an overweight 13/14 year old girl. She crossed the road with a friend and clearly saw me coming, her friend decides to stop halfway across the road, but she continues to walk with head looking straight and one eye on me ...... She stopped in the road at the last moment, good job she did as i was doing around 20mph!!!!
I shouted "you will get run over doing that"!


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## PJ79LIZARD (24 Apr 2013)

Once a chap decided to make me aware that he could see my penis, he enthusiastically shouted "oi mate, I can see your cock" it filled me with an enormous sense of pride, and then it occurred to me, I really need to stop thinking about Laura trott when I'm out cycling!


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## BentMikey (24 Apr 2013)

That's enough about your lizard, mate.


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## kedab (24 Apr 2013)

sheffgirl said:


> Now the weather is getting warmer, the remarks seem to be more common. Mostly its 'go on love', I even got that from a fellow cyclist last week, it made me smile. Not really had any negative comments yet, I'm sure I've seen guys looking at my bum though


guys never, ever, look at the female bottom. how very dare you!


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## SomethingLikeThat (25 Apr 2013)

Never had abuse. I end up talking to other cyclists more.


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## jarlrmai (29 Apr 2013)

Yup its summer


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## ianrauk (29 Apr 2013)

Tonight on my commute home as I overtook a bloke on a BSO.
"FAST..OOOH FAST...YOU C***!"


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## cd365 (30 Apr 2013)

Yesterday morning out of the corner of my eye I detected some movement at a gate to a farmers' field when something was shouted, I couldn't quite make out what was said, then his mate had a go, I think it went "baaa baaa", bloody sheep


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## RWright (30 Apr 2013)

I was in a remote area recently going over some railroad tracks and an SUV was crossing slowly over them from the other direction. Someone in the SUV says get a helmet. I replied, get a muzzle.


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## edindave (1 May 2013)

"Have you got a fish tattoo on your arm?"
That's what one of a group of three women shouted across the road at me today while I was out on a lunchtime ride. I replied "No." and they broke into fits of laughter.


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## Leaway2 (1 May 2013)

cd365 said:


> Yesterday morning out of the corner of my eye I detected some movement at a gate to a farmers' field when something was shouted, I couldn't quite make out what was said, then his mate had a go, I think it went "baaa baaa", bloody sheep


Were you cycling at the time or was the farmer defending the sheep's honour?


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## cd365 (1 May 2013)

I was cycling but I have clocked which field they were in for future reference


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## Alan Frame (1 May 2013)

Leaway2 said:


> Were you cycling at the time or was the farmer defending the sheep's honour?


 
More like defending their fleece.

You know how cyclists just love merino.


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## Mugshot (7 May 2013)

Had an odd one yesterday I was HERE, in the same lane as the Google car taking primary, doing a shade over 25mph so certainly not dawdling. I hear a beeping, shortly followed by another beeping looked to my left and there was a gentleman gesticulating wildly and he appeared to be shouting at me, I didn't have a clue what he was saying as he had his window up. I looked at my watch and shouted "It's about 2.30", I don't think he heard me properly as he waved his right arm at me more vigorously and seemed to shout louder than he had the first time, but still didn't put his window down, so I again looked at my watch and shouted back "It's about 2.30 mate.".
By this time we'd pretty much reached the roundabout and as I had an inkling by then that he didn't want to know the time I was starting to prepare myself for him cutting straight across me, but he didn't, he took the first exit. So he appeared to have taken umbridge to me being where I was, even though he didn't actually want to be there himself.
I thought it was both pointless and stupid.


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## glasgowcyclist (7 May 2013)

On a particularly wet ride home last week, I was stationary in a line of traffic at lights when I heard a voice to my right.

It was another cyclist who'd pulled alongside me and shouted simply, "Soggy knickers!"
I answered, "Nice to meet you" then the lights changed and I left him...


GC


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## apb (9 May 2013)

Had my first today. It was "farkin' cycle path."

Yep.

There is a cycle path on the other side of the road, which i use when going the other way. I was keeping up with traffic and wasn't holding him up at all, so *shrugs*. This was only said once our direction parted, so not the most courageous of chaps.

Though in hind sight maybe he was just declaring his hatred for the cycle path. who knows.


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## glasgowcyclist (17 May 2013)

Cycling in Glasgow city centre yesterday I was at a set of lights when two other cyclists pulled up, one either side of me.

Chubby, breathless bloke to my right said something I didn't really hear. When I realised he was talking to me and asked him what it was, he said, "Don't even _think_ about racing this thing" and proudly pointed at his super skinny road bike. "It's superfast", he beamed.
"Very good" I replied and headed off up the hill now that the lights had changed.

Halfway up the hill, his mate then shot up the inside of my position in a mad sprint shouting, "Yeah, you've no chance mate!" and 80 yards later stopped at the next red light.

Given he was half my age and weight he was perhaps right but what a strange encounter that was.

GC


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## Pat "5mph" (18 May 2013)

glasgowcyclist said:


> Given he was half my age and weight he was perhaps right but what a strange encounter that was.
> 
> GC


You must look "the part" ... he was seeing you as a challenge!


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## glasgowcyclist (18 May 2013)

Pat "5mph" said:


> You must look "the part" ... he was seeing you as a challenge!



Ha!

I'm an old guy riding an 18yr old Trek 850 with a hub dynamo and full panniers, I look anything but the part. 

I think they were miffed by that and the fact that they couldn't drop me.

GC


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## jarlrmai (18 May 2013)

I see maybe 2 or 3 other cyclists most often non when I commute, all older guys going in the other direction I always say "hi" unless they are on the pavement.


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## Cycleconvert (27 May 2013)

After 4 weeks of cycling I got my first bit of 'abuse' today. Some man in a soft top with the roof down shouted 'F*****g Idiots' at me and a friend this morning. The funny bit was is that if he thought 2 cyclists were bad, he was about to encounter about 15 of them in a team that had recently overtaken us. I like to think that was a little bit of karma....


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## Alan Frame (27 May 2013)

Cycleconvert said:


> After 4 weeks of cycling I got my first bit of 'abuse' today. Some man in a soft top with the roof down shouted 'F*****g Idiots' at me and a friend this morning.


 
Sounds to me he wanted to prove the similarity between himself and his car.... not a lot going on up top and full of air.

Ignore idiots like him.


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## beastie (28 May 2013)

Boris Bajic said:


> "Oy mate, are you gay?"
> 
> I was wearing an ancient replica_ maglia rosa_, so my normally very butch and straight appearance might have been slightly skewed.
> 
> ...


I attended a wedding (lesbian) and thought a pink shirt and tie would be apt and dapper. Cue one meathead guest threatening to punch me for being "gay". 
My reply's:
"eh, I am with my wife and kids"
"if you are a homophobe then why are you at a lesbian wedding"
"let's step outside and I will either kiss you or kick fark out of you-your choice" This last bit may have been a bit less witty than I recollect but he sloped off crumbling nonetheless


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## 400bhp (28 May 2013)

sabian92 said:


> *In all fairness all disabled riders ride recumbents so it is sort of understandable.*
> 
> I haven't really been heckled. Nearly got doored once and called the dozy woman a prick. I don't even think she noticed she nearly had me off.


 
No, it's not understandable.

Think about it or do I have to spell it out?


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## 400bhp (28 May 2013)

beastie said:


> I attended a wedding (lesbian) and thought a pink shirt and tie would be apt and dapper. Cue one meathead guest threatening to punch me for being "gay".
> My reply's:
> "eh, I am with my wife and kids"
> "if you are a homophobe then why are you at a lesbian wedding"
> "let's step outside and I will either kiss you or kick f*** out of you-your choice" This last bit may have been a bit less witty than I recollect but he sloped off crumbling nonetheless


 

Have I got this right. A guest at a lesbian wedding Civil Ceremony was having a pop at someone for being gay


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## beastie (28 May 2013)

400bhp said:


> Have I got this right. A guest at a lesbian wedding Civil Ceremony was having a pop at someone for being gay


Yep. I must confess to being somewhat taken a back. His reason for my being "gay" was my wearing of pink. Not the sharpest sandwich at the picnic.


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## Maz (28 May 2013)

Occupants in a passing car shouted "F*ckin paki bastard. Black c*nt!"
They sped off, but there were roadworks up ahead and I caught up with them at the temporary lights...I opened their rear door and cycled off.


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## sabian92 (28 May 2013)

400bhp said:


> No, it's not understandable.
> 
> Think about it or do I have to spell it out?


 

I did say afterwards that I meant the majority of that i'd personally encountered and I explained that I made a mistake, which was bloody weeks ago but you haven't obviously bothered to read that. I suppose you missed my apology as well?

And no, thank you. I'm perfectly capable of spelling.


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## sue perb (29 May 2013)

Occupants in a passing car shouted..


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## Maylian (29 May 2013)

A few weeks ago a couple of pedestrians said "your laces are undone", since I was wearing my SPD shoes I pointed out that they didn't have any and smugly rode off.

Another time I've had a car pull up alongside me and some cute girls shout encouragement at me and challenge me to a race. They only just beat me to the next set of lights, but that was one of the more pleasant heckles


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## Svendo (29 May 2013)

Few months ago I had "oi you're chains flat!", an confusing variation on the classic 'you're wheels going round'.


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## machew (29 May 2013)

Had someone shout, your back wheel is missing. 
As this was when I was on my trike, this did take a bit a thought


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## Ste T. (4 Jun 2013)

There is something about cars that brings out the obnoxious sociopath in many drivers.
I cycle commute to work (20 mile round trip) for two reason, fitness and the environment.
Part of my commute takes me through a village with a narrow main road where unavoidably I hold the other traffic up just one of those things. I couldn't get any further over to the left. 
Keep in mind that I am doing 20-25mph in a 30 any way yet I often get people sitting on my rear wheel revving away. The whole thing only lasts a minute, but they have no patience.
Then one day a guy overtaking me did a very telling thing. He drew level and wound his window down to shout*,"Put it on the pavement, you f'ing loser!"*
I realised that he put me in a lower social/wealth bracket than himself. I must be mustn't I or why would I ride a bike ?
Ironically I could buy several of his cars without a loan, but obviously that wouldn't cross his mind.
About 2 miles further on we enter a town that is a bottleneck and the same drivers sit there at a standstill, held up by other cars far more than I held them up, yet they don't say anything to them as they see them as equals.


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## PocketFrog (4 Jun 2013)

*"What you on a bike for, ya fat c**t?"*

Answered your own question there...clever boy!


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## Sandeep2504 (4 Jun 2013)

CS7 Monday morning between Tooting Bec and Balham, young ish lad being driven by his mum/girlfriend was shouting out of the car repeatedly:

"you're all driving like w*nkers" 

i just smiled...must have been on day release..


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## PedalCat (4 Jun 2013)

Ste T. said:


> Then one day a guy overtaking me did a very telling thing. He drew level and wound his window down to shout*,"Put it on the pavement, you f'ing loser!"*
> I realised that he put me in a lower social/wealth bracket than himself. I must be mustn't I or why would I ride a bike ?
> Ironically I could buy several of his cars without a loan, but obviously that wouldn't cross his mind.
> About 2 miles further on we enter a town that is a bottleneck and the same drivers sit there at a standstill, held up by other cars far more than I held them up, yet they don't say anything to them as they see them as equals.


 
I'd like to see his face if he could read this post. Maybe a lightbulb would appear above his head, maybe he'd dig himself in even deeper; total refusal to acknowledge reality.


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## monkeylc (4 Jun 2013)

apb said:


> Had my first today. It was "f***in' cycle path."
> 
> Yep.
> 
> ...


 
Cycle paths in Leicester are absolutely foookin terrible! If you followed most of them it would kill you or put you in hospital seriously!
There's one on the way home that takes you from a cycle path straight into traffic?


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## Amack (4 Jun 2013)

Had my first shout today from a car full of idiots (I'm blaming the sunny weather as they have their windows open now!) "go on Bradley wiggins, son" I don't know whether they know something I don't but I just ignored them, it made the whole car laugh hilariously though, just a bit of a strange feeling getting shouted at in public 

Worse was I wearing baggies and t shirt on my ......Crosstrail! Mind you it's better being shouted at than the deadly passing of the farmers in their huge tractors shifting their grass. Scary stuff.


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## Saluki (4 Jun 2013)

I had a lad in a not so hot hatch yell "you woman" at me today.
Yup. Well observed.


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## monkeylc (4 Jun 2013)

Saluki said:


> I had a lad in a not so hot hatch yell "you woman" at me today.
> Yup. Well observed.


 
get alot of those sort of 'lads' around here,driving the mums old corsa with a pipe wide enough to push the little ******s head up.


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## Hip Priest (5 Jun 2013)

I had my first 'Go on Bradley!' the other day.

I didn't mind at all. Much better than 'get off the road you daft c***' which was the last comment a driver shouted at me!


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## monkeylc (5 Jun 2013)

Hip Priest said:


> I had my first 'Go on Bradley!' the other day.
> 
> I didn't mind at all. Much better than 'get off the road you daft c***' which was the last comment a driver shouted at me!


 
Arr  hate that! I cannot stand being called daft................ I am a bit of a c*** though.


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## Alan Frame (5 Jun 2013)

Hip Priest said:


> I had my first 'Go on Bradley!' the other day.


 
I had to smile the other day when some lads in a Polish registered car drew alongside and shouted " Go Lance ! "

The nearest I've got to performance-enhancing substances is a few pints of real ale.


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## Amack (5 Jun 2013)

What is it with teenage tossers shouting pro cyclists names at us lot?

I suppose we could shout back "go on yourself, James Hunt!" but they'd either be to young to know or mishear it, knowing my luck mishear it and come after me


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## jarlrmai (5 Jun 2013)

for and indepth review of the psychology behind teenage shouting google "bus self-gratification artists"


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## monkeylc (5 Jun 2013)

jarlrmai said:


> for and indepth review of the psychology behind teenage shouting google "bus self-gratification artists"


 
Is that a 'technical term'


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## 2wheelsgeth (6 Jun 2013)

Had a drunk Scottish fella yell out, 'Luminous cyclist man - f*ck off!' at me on the way in this morning, which kept me amused for the next couple of miles...

That'll teach me to wear my bright tops when the sun's out (everything else is in the wash, in my defence)


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## Alan Frame (6 Jun 2013)

2wheelsgeth said:


> Had a drunk Scottish fella yell out, 'Luminous cyclist man - f*ck off!' at me on the way in this morning, which kept me amused for the next couple of miles...
> 
> That'll teach me to wear my bright tops when the sun's out (everything else is in the wash, in my defence)


 

If a drunken Scottish chap could see you, then that's recommendation enough for hi viz for me !


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## Matthew_T (6 Jun 2013)

2wheelsgeth said:


> Had a drunk Scottish fella yell out, 'Luminous cyclist man - f*ck off!' at me on the way in this morning, which kept me amused for the next couple of miles...
> 
> That'll teach me to wear my bright tops when the sun's out (everything else is in the wash, in my defence)


 
TBH I was amazed that the ape knew what the word 'luminous' meant. 

(BTW I am not calling Scottich people apes, just everyone who shouts abuse at a cyclist from a car is an ape).


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## Frood42 (6 Jun 2013)

Made me laugh, two must have been about 40yr old women shouted "cor, look at you, you sexy stud" and then started laughing.
Must have been drunk or dehydrated!


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## Mad Doug Biker (6 Jun 2013)

2wheelsgeth said:


> Had a drunk Scottish fella yell out, 'Luminous cyclist man - f*ck off!' at me on the way in this morning, which kept me amused for the next couple of miles...
> 
> That'll teach me to wear my bright tops when the sun's out (everything else is in the wash, in my defence)



Yeah, sorry, that was me, I was just takin' the p*ss, don't worry!! 



Matthew_T said:


> (BTW I am not calling Scottich people apes, just everyone who shouts abuse at a cyclist from a car is an ape).



*Makes Ape noises*. 
To be fair, there are quite a lot of Apes out there who are infinitely more civilised than some humans.


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## Mad Doug Biker (6 Jun 2013)

User said:


> FTFY!



Ah, ah! But I'm not actually from Glasgow. I do agree with you though.


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## sheffgirl (6 Jun 2013)

jarlrmai said:


> for and indepth review of the psychology behind teenage shouting google "bus self-gratification artists"


 
I was perplexed by a group of kids who had been on the back of the bus I was travelling on recently. They had been talking and singing at an ear-splitting volume for the entire 40 minutes of the journey so I was relieved when they left. They left the bus, then proceeded to shout 'bus w*nkers' at the people left on the bus


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## Cycling Dan (6 Jun 2013)

sheffgirl said:


> I was perplexed by a group of kids who had been on the back of the bus I was travelling on recently. They had been talking and singing at an ear-splitting volume for the entire 40 minutes of the journey so I was relieved when they left. They left the bus, then proceeded to shout 'bus w*nkers' at the people left on the bus


 
Haha the irony is killing me.


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## Hayley (17 Jun 2013)

A good one this morning... "Pedal love, pedal!" - And there I was thinking I needed to flap my arms harder to get moving. Teenagers these days think they know everything


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## Alistair thomson (18 Jun 2013)

The one I get is , hoy mate your back wheel is going round.


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## ShipHill (19 Jun 2013)

I got whistled at the other day by a lass in a car. She must have defective vision.


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## Blurb (22 Jun 2013)

Was just told I had a "nice bike". I believe his judgement may have been coloured by his breakfast, a can of lager he was supping, as I was on the 20 year old shopping hack.


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## Rural halfwit (22 Jun 2013)

Blurb said:


> Was just told I had a "nice bike". I believe his judgement may have been coloured by his breakfast, a can of lager he was supping, as I was on the 20 year old shopping hack.


 
In certain parts of the Fens, going on description,the bike is, 'cutting edge'!


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## downfader (22 Jun 2013)

Stopped the bike in a gap between parked cars to let a driver come through from the other direction. She, it seemed, angrily gestured for me to come through (not that she could park where I'd stopped, it was on zigzags outside a school and too small for her behemoth) and as I drew past her open drivers window I said thanks only to hear what I thought to be "You think you're tired mate??!"


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## on the road (22 Jun 2013)

I often get people in cars shouting things at me as they're going past, but I can't understand a word they're saying because of the doppler effect


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## NicciT (22 Jun 2013)

A man in a van called me a f*ing w*nker and then quickly followed this up with "whoops sorry love" - still don't know what I did to rile him up


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## Tommy2 (22 Jun 2013)

When the first warm days came this year I put on my bib shorts to commute and on the way home it was nice and sunny as I rolled past a pub (slowly waiting for the level crossing to open) got whistled at and "nice legs" shouted, unfortunately by a 50 odd year old shaven headed man.

Just a bit of fun so i took no offence, but how and why do these people get to the pub before 5 o'clock on a week day??!


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## Cycling Dan (22 Jun 2013)

Tommy2 said:


> When the first warm days came this year I put on my bib shorts to commute and on the way home it was nice and sunny as I rolled past a pub (slowly waiting for the level crossing to open) got whistled at and "nice legs" shouted, unfortunately by a 50 odd year old shaven headed man.
> 
> Just a bit of fun so i took no offence, *but how and why do these people get to the pub before 5 o'clock on a week day??!*


 
They picked the wrong life partner?


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## billy1561 (22 Jun 2013)

Got shouted at by a car full of neanderthals once at a roundabout as they went past 'oi! chicken legs! Made me laugh actually as i'd doubt not one of them could keep up if they had a bike


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## Nigel-YZ1 (22 Jun 2013)

I had one back seat passenger yell that he wanted to sniff my saddle.
The car passed me again later and he gave me a loud scream.
Definitely one of those new weed powered cars.


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## Chris Norton (22 Jun 2013)

Some girls in a convertable shouted at me to get over. Although that would have meant me falling into a massive pot hole.


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## Recycle (23 Jun 2013)

NicciT said:


> A man in a van called me a f*ing w*nker and then quickly followed this up with "whoops sorry love" - still don't know what I did to rile him up


 
You rode a bike. That's usually all you need to do to rile them.


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## kedab (23 Jun 2013)

Tommy2 said:


> Just a bit of fun so i took no offence, but how and why do these people get to the pub before 5 o'clock on a week day??!


they don't leave, just merge into the background, that's how.


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## PedalCat (24 Jun 2013)

On my way to work one morning, a man working on a roof tried to catch my attention, shouting "Hey mate. Hey mate. Hey. I say, hey mate". It was reminiscent of Alan Partridge's "Dan! Dan!......Dan!...."
He _just didn't have_ the wit or the timing, his colleagues didn't join in, and when he finally told me that my back wheel was going round, he'd made such a mess of it that i expected to give way to a tumbleweed.


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## glenn forger (24 Jun 2013)

NicciT said:


> A man in a van called me a f*ing w*nker and then quickly followed this up with "whoops sorry love" - still don't know what I did to rile him up


 

Beautiful. Like a one-act play.


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## PJ79LIZARD (24 Jun 2013)

I got Bradley wiggins again this morning by some school kids. A couple of years ago they wouldn't have even known who he was. Just shows how cycling is becoming more mainstream........Or at least until froome doesn't win the tour and the sport fades into the background again.


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## Supersuperleeds (24 Jun 2013)

Yesterday young lad on his bike shouts to me. "Your back wheels going round", my response, "So is yours", his response, "What?" and a very dumb look on his face


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## Jenkins (24 Jun 2013)

I've had one "Barry" type pull alongside and the passenger congratulated me on doing 20mph which annoyed me - I'm convinced I was doing more at the time.

Also I've been passed by a cat driving a car - it's the only thing I can think of that made the MEEEOOOOWWWW sound from the open window as it passed


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## Cycleconvert (23 Oct 2013)

Had a good one on my way home last night.

The passenger of a car overtaking me wound the window down and shouted (or at least this is what I translated it as) 'Do your effing CBT'


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## Wheeledweenie (25 Oct 2013)

I was in the cycle lane the otherday, car indicated left so I slowed a bit so that I wouldn't hit the side of him as he turned but wouldn't have to stop. He suddenly stopped mid-turn, so did I to avoid going into the side of him. There was a pregnant pause full of confusion as to what was happening so I asked 'Are you going then?' I received 'I DID INDICATE YOU IDIOT!' before the car completed the manoeuvre and sped off. Very odd....

I prefer not to dwell on the nobbers and instead fondly reminisce about the teenagers at a bus stop who sang/shouted the Rocky training tune as I climbed a steep hill past them then the cheered when I reached the top. Bless...


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## glasgowcyclist (25 Oct 2013)

Alistair thomson said:


> The one I get is , hoy mate your back wheel is going round.


 
I believe the correct response to that is "So's your wife..."

GC


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## ianrauk (25 Oct 2013)

Wheeledweenie said:


> I was in the cycle lane the otherday, car indicated left so I slowed a bit so that I wouldn't hit the side of him as he turned but wouldn't have to stop. He suddenly stopped mid-turn, so did I to avoid going into the side of him. There was a pregnant pause full of confusion as to what was happening so I asked 'Are you going then?' I received 'I DID INDICATE YOU IDIOT!' before the car completed the manoeuvre and sped off. Very odd....
> 
> I prefer not to dwell on the nobbers and instead fondly reminisce about the teenagers at a bus stop who sang/shouted the Rocky training tune as I climbed a steep hill past them then the cheered when I reached the top. Bless...





hey.. don't think I didn't notice you have sneaked back on to the forum. Welcome back. How's the mummy thing doing?


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## Wheeledweenie (25 Oct 2013)

I've been lurking a while...

Eenie weenie is now two and a half!! Finally returned to work last month so am back cycle commuting. Not quite up to a FNRTTC yet, but as soon as I am (and I have my new bike and I can get the babysitting) I'll be back


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## Born2die (25 Oct 2013)

Wheeledweenie said:


> I've been lurking a while...
> 
> (and I have my new bike and I can get the babysitting) I'll be back



I find a chair rope and gaffa tape help with the baby sitting


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## Wheeledweenie (25 Oct 2013)

Sigh..... He's probably be super keen to join us. He sat on a friend's recumbent trike recently and was desperate to have a go (his legs are a bit too short though).


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## cd365 (15 May 2014)

This morning after overtaking an other cyclist I had 2 kids at the bus stop down the road shout "run! run!" and "run white socks", I assumed the cyclist I had overtaken was trying to catch me.
Do kids nowadays not realise that on a bike you pedal? My white socks were actually white cycling shoes!


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## PJ79LIZARD (15 May 2014)

I just got randomly shouted at last night whilst waiting at a junction. When the sun comes out so do society's nobs. "oh there's a cyclist, I know I'll just shout at him as A I pass at 40 mph!" what fun.


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## H Bomb (27 Jun 2014)

I had one of Britain's peasant under-class shout 'Safety First' at me the other day which I thought was a bit odd! - the only thing i could think to say in return was "well - yes, obviously!"

Still, lets hope that's their mantra the next time they manage to steal a car.


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## Gravity Aided (28 Jun 2014)

Perhaps they are getting about doing other things, like free advice, rather than car theft.


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## Mugshot (28 Jun 2014)

Had a "GET ON THE CYCLE PATH you *£&$!" this morning, not had one for what feels like ages so a big thank you and a thumbs up were in order


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## redcard (28 Jun 2014)

"Give me my farking bike back you thieving daffodil!!!"


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## Jefferson Meriwether (28 Jun 2014)

In recent weeks I've been getting the usual 'Your wheels going round' heckle. It's always really young kids that heckle me; I always feels they're too young to hear the retort 'So's your mum'.


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## hobbitonabike (29 Jun 2014)

On my first ever womens group ride we passed through a pedestrian crossing where a man was stood with his bike. We all smiled and said good morning and as I was the last rider I heard him say in a suprised yet pleased sounding voice...oooohhh women!! The look on his face still makes me chuckle.


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## RebornBumbler (29 Jun 2014)

An unknown cyclist coming in the opposite direction on a shared footpath/track:
"Don't slow down!"
No I don't know either


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## Blurb (12 Jul 2014)

Walking down a pedestrianised high street today pushing the bike and hear a shout somewhere behind me "Oi put that away, no one wants to see that!" I suspect I need to get better fitting lycra shorts.


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## Profpointy (12 Jul 2014)

Blurb said:


> Walking down a pedestrianised high street today pushing the bike and hear a shout somewhere behind me "Oi put that away, no one wants to see that!" I suspect I need to get better fitting lycra shorts.



The obvious retort is "well your Mrs likes it"


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## Mugshot (2 Oct 2014)

Had a couple in the past few days, the first was on a section of cycle path, it was a miserable evening horrible drizzly soaking rain, and I was approaching a young girl and I assume her mum who were riding in the opposite direction, I slowed down to make sure we all went through safely and as I went past the girl said,
"Ooooo, hello Mr Proper Cyclist."
So that was nice, the second wasn't quite so pleasant. 
Travelling down a narrow section of road, car comes racing up behind, we are literally a second from where the road widens so I can let him through safely, but he can't wait that long so he starts to squeeze through anyway forcing me to pull to the left. Anyway, he's coming through and I raise my right hand in an open palm up couldn't you have waited just another second/exasperated kind of gesture, no swearing and no rude hand signals. The passenger leans right out of the open window, gives me and bird and starts screaming and shouting,
"F*** YOU, F*** YOU YOU C**T, F*** YOU!" 
Which he continues to do until they're out of sight. I gave him a big smile, a wave and a thumbs up and he still kept shouting. There's no pleasing some people.


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## cd365 (2 Oct 2014)

Very brave inside a car aren't they!


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## Mugshot (2 Oct 2014)

Extremely, they were grown men too not boy racers, mind you if they hadn't had their hi-viz vests on I may not have spotted them.


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## Scotchlovingcylist (2 Oct 2014)

I hate windscreen warriors


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