# My new cycling defence-tactic against dangerous drivers...



## User (10 Apr 2013)




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## snailracer (10 Apr 2013)

Wear a helmet in case you bash your own head in.


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## 400bhp (10 Apr 2013)

Also doubles up as a tent pole.


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## ManiaMuse (11 Apr 2013)

[QUOTE 2404077, member: 1314"]My other defence weapon of choice:

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What gearing does that work out as?


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## Sara_H (11 Apr 2013)

Teminds me of a youtube video of an american cyclist who rides with an extending baton to hand. Any MF that close passes him gets a few dints in his bodywork.


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## MisterStan (11 Apr 2013)

Sara_H said:


> Teminds me of a youtube video of an american cyclist who rides with an extending baton to hand. Any MF that close passes him gets a few dints in his bodywork.


I think one of his vids was on here recently - TBH it looked like he 'engineered' the problem in the first place.


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## Fab Foodie (11 Apr 2013)

Sara_H said:


> Teminds me of a youtube video of an american cyclist who rides with an extending baton to hand. Any MF that close passes him gets a few dints in his bodywork.


This was not uncommon in S. London in the early 80s .... a cosh on the handlebars.


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## Fab Foodie (11 Apr 2013)

[QUOTE 2402261, member: 1314"]
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Chain's a bit slack ....


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## snailracer (11 Apr 2013)

[QUOTE 2404077, member: 1314"]My other defence weapon of choice:

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All-wheel drive


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## Cubist (11 Apr 2013)

[QUOTE 2404077, member: 1314"]My other defence weapon of choice:

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Let's see you Mickle Method'ing that f**ker......


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## mickle (11 Apr 2013)

Lol!


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## Shut Up Legs (11 Apr 2013)

400bhp said:


> Also doubles up as a tent pole.


I guess there aren't enough pretty cyclists where you come from, then?


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## cyberknight (12 Apr 2013)

snailracer said:


> Wear a helmet in case you bash your own head in.


mmm, done that before when i had two nunchaku`s ... you only do it once.


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## BentMikey (12 Apr 2013)

MisterStan said:


> I think one of his vids was on here recently - TBH it looked like he 'engineered' the problem in the first place.


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## chris1980 (12 Apr 2013)

[QUOTE 2402261, member: 1314"]
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must amit I cycle through some ruff estates and that would come in handy


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## cyberknight (12 Apr 2013)

This guy is not a weight weenie i can only surmise if if wants to wear that belt or is it his well proportioned figure ?


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## 4F (12 Apr 2013)

Might as well go the whole hog


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## Andrew Brown (12 Apr 2013)

i always considered carrying mace to chase off errant dogs from one section of my old commute - there were 2 that regularly went after me or any other cyclist...


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## MickL (12 Apr 2013)

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/jimmy_fatwing/SelfProtection/cycle.htm

All the advice you will ever need


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## Andrew Brown (12 Apr 2013)

awesome, had me in creases at points. great link


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## Matthew_T (12 Apr 2013)

One of these would have come in handy with the guy that tried to knock me off today. Sounded his horn at me being in primary over a blind bridge with oncoming cars. When he pulled alongside me at the top of the bridge he gave the typical "There's a cycle path over there!". I simply replied "There's a road here too".
Mr Mercedes man then stormed off and I caught up at the inevitable set of lights. Kept my distance and didnt say anything. Some people just deserve an education!


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## paul04 (12 Apr 2013)

Maybe someone could try this, might make a few crazy car driver think.


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## Fab Foodie (12 Apr 2013)

paul04 said:


> Maybe someone could try this, might make a few crazy car driver think.


 That's where they got the design for the Pashley Goven'r ....


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## Fab Foodie (12 Apr 2013)

You guys need to think bigger ....


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## Crankarm (14 Apr 2013)

This
http://road.cc/content/news/80715-y...t-van-driver-after-court-rejects-self-defence


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## downfader (8 Jul 2013)

Sara_H said:


> Teminds me of a youtube video of an american cyclist who rides with an extending baton to hand. Any MF that close passes him gets a few dints in his bodywork.


 

Was he the Texan rider with the gun licence? I think I've seen one of those..


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## subaqua (8 Jul 2013)

[QUOTE 2405838, member: 1314"]More extreme measures:

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Hackney cycling kit


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## ComedyPilot (8 Jul 2013)

OP - Ey up, ow many bikes you got? None chuck


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## classic33 (8 Jul 2013)

Crankarm said:


> This
> http://road.cc/content/news/80715-y...t-van-driver-after-court-rejects-self-defence


http://road.cc/content/news/80715-y...t-van-driver-after-court-rejects-self-defence
The other side of the coin. Not the same incident.
http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co....ist_in_early_morning_road_rage_attack/?ref=mr


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## ComedyPilot (8 Jul 2013)

[QUOTE 2538285, member: 1314"]
View attachment 25848
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"Whose bike is this...?"

"It's a 'Chopper' babe..."

"Ok, whose 'Chopper' is this...."

"Zed's"

"Who's Zed?"

"Zed's dead baby, Zed's dead......"


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## Boris Bajic (8 Jul 2013)

[QUOTE 2406056, member: 1314"]GODWIN'S LAW!!!!!!!

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This is a _Hitlerjugendpanzerfaustjagdgesellschaftfahrrad_. They were popular in the final days of April 1945.

There is a Wagner opera about such a contraption, in which a young blond chap sells his soul and all he gets in return is a pair of primitive RPGs and an old boneshaker.

The final scene, in which he is crushed by a T-34 and his mother and sister are killed by shellfire while queuing for bread, is very moving.

Wagner's music is much better than it sounds.


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## Cyclopathic (9 Jul 2013)

classic33 said:


> The other side of the coin. Not the same incident.
> http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co....ist_in_early_morning_road_rage_attack/?ref=mr


 Considering the cyclists injuries if it had been me I would not have felt happy with £1000 as compensation. As well as the pain and trauma of the incident itself he also had to go to physiotherapy which is at the very least an inconvenience and time that could have been spent otherwise. I'd accept £1000 for the broken nose itself plus another £1000 for any disfigurement plus an hourly rate comparable to whatever I was earning at the time for every damned hour spent in court/police stations/hospital/doctors anywhere that I wouldn't have to have been if not for this neanderthall.


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## Cyclopathic (9 Jul 2013)

Boris Bajic said:


> This is a _Hitlerjugendpanzerfaustjagdgesellschaftfahrrad_. They were popular in the final days of April 1945.
> 
> There is a Wagner opera about such a contraption, in which a young blond chap sells his soul and all he gets in return is a pair of primitive RPGs and an old boneshaker.
> 
> ...


 Not great big ear buds then?


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## Primal Scream (9 Jul 2013)

Cyclopathic said:


> Considering the cyclists injuries if it had been me I would not have felt happy with £1000 as compensation. As well as the pain and trauma of the incident itself he also had to go to physiotherapy which is at the very least an inconvenience and time that could have been spent otherwise. I'd accept £1000 for the broken nose itself plus another £1000 for any disfigurement plus an hourly rate comparable to whatever I was earning at the time for every damned hour spent in court/police stations/hospital/doctors anywhere that I wouldn't have to have been if not for this neanderthall.


Thats why I keep my u lock on my bike, a smack with that would have been in order.


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## Boris Bajic (9 Jul 2013)

Cyclopathic said:


> Not great big ear buds then?


 
For all I know, _Hitlerjugendpanzerfaustjagdgesellschaftfahrrad_ is a direct translation of 'Great Big Cotton Buds'.

It's not real German; I made it up and thought it sounded slightly Wagnerian.

When not composing, Wagner invented the Bell UH-1C gunship. Not a lot of people know that.


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## Cyclopathic (10 Jul 2013)

Boris Bajic said:


> For all I know, _Hitlerjugendpanzerfaustjagdgesellschaftfahrrad_ is a direct translation of 'Great Big Cotton Buds'.
> 
> It's not real German; I made it up and thought it sounded slightly Wagnerian.
> 
> When not composing, Wagner invented the Bell UH-1C gunship. Not a lot of people know that.


 Wasn't he also married to Natalie Wood? And Ernest Borgnine?


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## glenn forger (10 Jul 2013)

Ernest Borgnine's autobiography was called "I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire ( I Just Want To Keep My Nuts Warm)"


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## Cyclopathic (10 Jul 2013)

Primal Scream said:


> Thats why I keep my u lock on my bike, a smack with that would have been in order.


 I don't really approve of violence...except when I do and under these circumstances I do. Just who the sweaty hell do people think they are that they can just unleash violence on someone who has done them no harm and poses them no threat. It boils my onions beyond all bounds of what could be considered reasonable. I have unreasonably boiled onions.


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## andrewpreston (27 Aug 2013)

I know that this is a bit of a laugh but, just in case someone thinks that fitting rice flails to your steed is a good idea, plod will have a field day prosecuting you for carrying an "offensive weapon" or war crimes or some such. BTW, fitting artillery to a BMW is allowed under the 1999 Penis Substitution Act.


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## Born2die (27 Aug 2013)

[QUOTE 2404077, member: 1314"]My other defence weapon of choice:

View attachment 21803
[/quote]
Just don't lock the front up


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## andrewpreston (4 Nov 2013)

Remove the rifle and you've got me last time I fell off.


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## gaz (4 Nov 2013)

[QUOTE 2748648, member: 1314"]
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That's a very pore posture for firing a rifle from the ground. Spread the legs, Turn your hips slight over and bring your right let up and out.
This will open your body for a better aim down sight and keep you more stable.


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## Linford (4 Nov 2013)

If you go looking for trouble, you will always find it....


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## byegad (4 Nov 2013)

4F said:


> Might as well go the whole hog



I want one!


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## downfader (4 Nov 2013)

gaz said:


> That's a very pore posture for firing a rifle from the ground. Spread the legs, Turn your hips slight over and bring your right let up and out.
> This will open your body for a better aim down sight and keep you more stable.


Army cadets? Had a mate in there and seem to remember him saying folding the right leg over the left to spread the weight


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## gaz (4 Nov 2013)

downfader said:


> Army cadets? Had a mate in there and seem to remember him saying folding the right leg over the left to spread the weight


Indeed, we had a shooting range at school where they taught us how to shoot.

When in prone there is never a need to cross your legs. The best way to spread your weight (i.e. to be stable) is to bring your knee on your dominant side up towards your torso. not too high or it will hurt your back.

Like this


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## Octet (4 Nov 2013)

A little something for you and the wife/husband to ride together:


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## ComedyPilot (4 Nov 2013)

gaz said:


> Indeed, we had a shooting range at school where they taught us how to shoot.
> 
> When in prone there is never a need to cross your legs. The best way to spread your weight (i.e. to be stable) is to bring your knee on your dominant side up towards your torso. not too high or it will hurt your back.
> 
> Like this


The raised knee also helps when breathing/aiming as it lifts your chest off the floor and makes controlling the rifle easier.

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe half out, squeeze trigger, breathe out, breathe in and repeat. I would also wrap the loose strap round my right arm to get really good control over the weapon.




[Ex BAOR team shooter]


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## ColinJ (4 Nov 2013)

snailracer said:


> Wear a helmet in case you bash your own head in.


Or even if you don't get last long enough to bash your own head in ...


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## downfader (4 Nov 2013)

ColinJ said:


> Or even if you don't get last long enough to bash your own head in ...



Ahh that brings back memories... lost memories...


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## spen666 (6 Dec 2013)

byegad said:


> I want one!


Yeah but is it shimano or campag equipped?


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## byegad (6 Dec 2013)

spen666 said:


> Yeah but is it shimano or campag equipped?


Who cares so long as it shoots big bullets!


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## gaz (22 Jul 2014)

[QUOTE 3192053, member: 1314"]
View attachment 51097
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Watch-pocket? who has one of those in lycra?!


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## Cycling Dan (22 Jul 2014)

gaz said:


> Watch-pocket? who has one of those in lycra?!


Is that a gun under your Lycra or are you just happy to see me


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## Goldie (1 Aug 2014)

As in most situations in life, the mighty Chuck Norris can help here. When my commute got less bike friendly - http://thelangsett.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/incontinence-supplies-at-internet-prices.html - I realised straight away that what I needed was backwards firing rockets launchers, like the ones Chuck has in Delta Force.

Oh, and those uncannily accurate machine guns. 

And epic facial hair.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVJlHW7fuzw


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## alans (1 Aug 2014)

[QUOTE 3192053, member: 1314"]
View attachment 51097
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I use to live in Newcastle Staffs


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