# Exploring (featuring Mad Doug Biker)



## Pat "5mph" (30 Jul 2012)

What a day! What a ride!
It all started when I fancied to ride from my place in Glasgow to a little village on the shores of Loch Lomond, called Luss. See the full itinerary here.
Some flights of fancy should really be ignored at my age. 
Now, my partner in crime was going to be our very own Mad Doug Biker, who lives quite near the village of Luss. What is near? What is far? How long is a piece of string? 
We planned to meet half way, in the picturesque town of Clydebank, to ride along the Forth and Clyde canal.
My ride to get to the meeting point was uneventful, more or less all like this:


we shall not dwell further on it, apart from noting that I was riding my Boris

featuring extra comfy saddle, 1.95 slimed city jets, and a BIG bell.
To be continued ...


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## Mad Doug Biker (30 Jul 2012)

Oh oh, I can't wait!


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Uneventful, I was saying, but on reaching Clydebank the scenery started to improve. here are a couple of pictures:




Luss, on the shores of Loch Lomond is where we want to go, so it's all good, according to plan ... you would think!
As I was a bit early (sort of an hour earlier than the meeting time) I decide to waste some time, have a fag (as you do) nibble on a snack, visit the ladies powder room in the strategically placed shopping centre.
Meanwhile, it starts to rain - the sun was shining hot until I got there. This does not abode well, I say to myself, and why does MDB not text me to find out my location?
You have to know that he had my number, but I did not have his  for some obscure reason.
Also, we never set eye on each other before: actually did meet a long time ago, but we forgot, so it was like we never met, get the drift?
We needed to be able to recognize, me him, him me 
MDB was going to wear his CChat jersey, me I was going to wear ..... (to be continued)


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

So, what happened?!


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Where was I? Aha, what do you think makes one stand out of the crowd on a cycling path?
But of course, this:

yes, I was going to wear a "Nessie the Loch Ness monster hat" for MDB to identify me 
Time waits for nobody! I decided to set out along the canal to the next village, Bowling, expecting MDB to ride toward me anytime. This required me to closely inspect all male riders of a certain description, close enough to check out the jersey they were donning. they must have thought I was on the pull, for sure!
For the life of me, could not fathom how all the guys smiled, even waved at me. Roadies, commuters, mb riders, little kids, ladies walking their dog. Then I remembered the hat!
I reached Bowling Basin (don't ask me, something to do with it being a big pool of water, I guess), here are a few pictures:




To be continued ....


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

I have a slightly bad feeling about the next post.....


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Before continuing this tale, I need to go back a bit, at Clydebank to be precise. Where I was told to look out for a "fake boat on the canal".
What could that be, I asked myself? A modern art exhibit? No, it was this:

a chippy build on the canal bank, build to resemble a boat.
Some architects are just to clever by half, don't you think?
Anyway, I'm now in Bowling Basin, still wearing my hat, still searching for MDB. Next village is Dumbarton, his abode. Is he still in his bed, I wonder?
While I was pondering the situation, two small boys shout: great hat, Mrs, wanna see my fish?  It's a Pike!
The boys had just caught this, bless them:


Still no word of MDB, I set out for Dumbarton.
A man to his kids, all on bikes: look boys, it's a crocodile on a bike! Me: NO, it's Nessie! 
To be continued ....


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> I have a slightly bad feeling about the next post.....


Shhhh, I'm trying to write here!


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Riding along, riding along, mobile rings: it's MDB! 
Where are you, he says, I'm running a bit late. I answer, well, would you believe it from a wee woman with wee legs? I'm almost in your village!
Stunned silence.
Don't worry, I'll stop soon, take your time, text when you get out of the house, I said: I was ready for a water top up anyway, and a wee snack.
So I find a suitable place to dismount: text: directions to MDB's house.
I answer: I'm sitting under the bridge having a fag, be there in 10.
Wasn't really sitting under a bridge, but it sounded sort of like "look at me, I'm a poor soul, lost my bearings" 
To be continued ....


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## YahudaMoon (31 Jul 2012)

Fantastic


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

When she said bridge, I didn't question it as there is a nearby small bridge on the route.


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

I thinks the rest of this tale will be told tomorrow (when no doubt I'll be asleep and unable to defend myself! ).


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Got to MDB's house, he's ready to set out with, I could only guess (but I have a nose for fancy bikes, after frequenting this forum) a RACING bike!! His tyres are thinner than my handlebars!
My poor Boris was shaking in his rubber, poor thing!
Here's a pic of the incredible MDB and his steed:





As you can imagine, I had mixed feelings about the next bit of this ride. 
Well, I had tried to get a few guys with road bikes to come along, had no joy.
The next 4 miles, to Balloch, and the following 6 to Luss, were eventful, sadly don't have any pictures as it all became a bit blurry, me trying to spin my little legs as fast as I could, Boris huffing and puffing like never before.
MDB was an absolute gem, slowing himself down to allow me to keep up.
True enough, he lead me into a path full of cow manure, it could not be helped. There were cows, there were fields, there was a cycling path going through the fields thank you Sustrans!
The path was completely unsuitable for a skinny tyred racer, still MDB reached 30mph, my Nessie hat off to him!
How do I know his speed? Easy, I looked at mine while he was disappearing in infinity - with my blessings, of course, a man needs to stretch his legs on a ride 
Ah, before you all raise eyebrows - I can hear you  - in that section of path one could see for miles ahead, ideal for a wee speed up. Alas, poor MDB, the road would have been much better, but he didn't take it to ride ahead of me, show me the way. Thank you MDB!
What happened to report?
The two of us got pushed in the grassy bit by a CAR that appeared from nowhere in the middle of the path!
Some water works vehicle, who would have expected that, he came out of a side entrance.
Also, we saw a London 2012 Olympics branded car, almost hidden in a clearing .... near Loch Lomond? Athletes sightseeing? Who knows!
The strangest thing of all: a kind of moped, driven full speed by a 14 year old!
The dogs were no bother, apart from one, that got MDB to engage in a kind of tango on the bike, while the owner was watching, calling "Fluffy" or such name, came back, darling!
To be continued ....


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> I thinks the rest of this tale will be told tomorrow (when no doubt I'll be asleep and unable to defend myself!).


I'm writing the last chapter while you moan


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> I'm writing the last chapter while you moan



Sorry!

Yes, the near dog strike was very much a slow motion one as I had slowed down for it, and yet it just continued to dodder in front of me, so I had to use the very edge of the Cyclepath save I get knocked off/have a clippless moment.

Lovely looking dog though.

Incidentally, if you look at the picture of my bike closely, then yes, I do have one of the arm rest thingies for the TT bars missing. 
That picture was taken outside of the Halfords at Dumbarton incidentally


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Ok, last chapter - BTW, Shaun told us to split long posts - it's on the read before you post thingmy.

So, yuppie  we are in Luss, finally!
Here's the proof:



We go for a spot of dinner , well deserved, I must add. Bikes are resting:


They are joined by a friend (don't know if you can make out the Cube), are having a chat.



The rider of the Cube goes in ecstasy at the sight of MDB's racy job, they spend the next half hour comparing specs. Time for another fag, me thinks.
By the by, I asked the guy how come he knew straight away the racer way Doug's, not mine? I'm a devil, I know 
Very diplomatically, he says "it's because of the shoes".
Aye, right, not because I'm a middle aged short legged lady that couldn't possibly 
It turned out the rider was travelling from Perth (up up up north) to Wales, had to get there by today, to win a bet. We told him to join CChat and tell us all about his trip.
We then started back to attack the most sloping hill. I was dreading this bit of the return trip, as I had noticed the descend, said to myself, will I make it back up?
Glad to report I made it ... barely 
After leaving MDB with lots of thank you and some kisses  I reached home with no mishaps.
That was just under 68 miles for me, my previous one trip milage was 20.
Have this feeling I'll not be able to walk tomorrow, or the day after for that matter!
Signage on the Glasgow- Loch Lomond way was excellent, only went the wrong way once, because the sign was slightly bent.
Cycling paths once you leave Glasgow don't have any broken glass, I noticed.
Once back in the big smoke, I instantly switched into commuting mode, growling at the first black taxi crossing my way. The joys of city life!
Thanks for reading, I will leave you with some random pictures of the trip. Goodnight all!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Goodnight, and thanks for that! Incidentally, the Nessie hat was watching the 'Lympic highlights on the telly earlier....


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## MrJamie (31 Jul 2012)

Love the story and photos, and the nessie hat!

I had to read the 68 miles bit twice to be sure, well done


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Yes well done Pat! I was only there for a short part of the trip in comparison!


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## summerdays (31 Jul 2012)

Lovely tale ... and impressive mileage! How big is the grey bike?


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## Rickshaw Phil (31 Jul 2012)

Looks like you both had a good day out.

I'm impressed with that mileage Pat! Going from 20 miles to 68 is quite a step up (and about 15 miles further than I've ever gone in a day). Chapeau!!


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

Great story Pat, well done Boris


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## fimm (31 Jul 2012)

Wow, well done Pat! (you'll have to change your username to Pat "68 miles").  I bet you ached a bit after that (in a good way).


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

summerdays said:


> Lovely tale ... and impressive mileage! How big is the grey bike?


You mean my Boris, Summerdays? He's 18 inch, I think. He's a big heavy boy, comfy though. Need to raise the stem a bit, this trip confirmed my feeling, as I was stretching a bit.


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

fimm said:


> Wow, well done Pat! (you'll have to change your username to Pat "68 miles").  I bet you ached a bit after that (in a good way).


Strangely enough, it's now the day after, I'm ok, just the back of my upper legs are a bit stiff. No sore bum whatsoever, I was not even wearing padded shorts.
I think it's because of my job, keeps me fit: I've got to walk up and down the SECC, long hours on my feet, often with added heavy lifting.
I've always had active jobs, and of course I commute the 5 miles there and back by bike, every shift.


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

fimm said:


> Wow, well done Pat! (you'll have to change your username to Pat "68 miles").  I bet you ached a bit after that (in a good way).



I called her Pat 6mph and was rather swiftly corrected!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> Goodnight, and thanks for that! Incidentally, the Nessie hat was watching the 'Lympic highlights on the telly earlier....



It is now watching the equestrian, wondering when the open air swimming is coming on.


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

That said, methinks I saw Pat RLJing at a bit of roadworks. There was no traffic coming the opposite way, but still, I waited like a good boy and then easily caught up with her again.

Not so clever, were you?


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> That said, methinks I saw Pat RLJing at a bit of roadworks. There was no traffic coming the opposite way, but still, I waited like a good boy and then easily caught up with her again.
> 
> Not so clever, were you?


Just showing you the Glesga ways, I was


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Just showing you the Glesga ways, I was



Still wrong though, and besides, you didnae benefit from any of it!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Also, I need to point out that the vans (Water Balifs) on the path are unusual, I have rarely seen that before, and I have never seen someone on a small motorbike along there in all my years either.


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## coffeejo (31 Jul 2012)

Excellent thread, love it!! It made I  it did


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## Andrew_Culture (31 Jul 2012)

One of my most favouritest threads ever 


__________________________________________________________________________________
Sent from a Victorian Terrace house, red brick, 1882 build.


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## Baggy (31 Jul 2012)

Great story!  Well done Pat!


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## Lisa21 (31 Jul 2012)

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

When we got to Luss, one of the first things Pat said to me was 

'You are a right devious bas*ard, aren't you?'

Turns out she thought Luss was closer, becuase I had said it wasn't very far, except that I had forgotten how far away it actually was, but I knew it wasn't exactly any amazing distance anyway. I didn't say anything because, well, ok, she had a point, but at the same time, it was where she wanted to go, so she couldn't exactly complain too much!


Incidentally, I wonder how that guy cycling to North Wales is doing, I just hope he didn't get flattened on the A82.


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

Come to Manchester next Pat, it's not far either


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## Lisa21 (31 Jul 2012)

Pat, come to North Wales...........its only down the road.............I have cake..................


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## coffeejo (31 Jul 2012)

Lisa21 said:


> Pat, come to North Wales...........its only down the road.............I have cake..................


I'm on the way


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## Lisa21 (31 Jul 2012)

coffeejo said:


> I'm on the way


Door's unlocked, let yourself in when you get here


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

coffeejo said:


> I'm on the way


I'm closer (and faster)


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## coffeejo (31 Jul 2012)

potsy said:


> I'm closer (and faster)


Is North Wales downhill from Manchester?


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

While MDB was fearlessly riding into the horizon, leaping over potholes, gliding over loose gravel, I was paying attention to the signage.
Luss 6 miles (can cope with that) ... Luss 4 miles (double espresso here I come) .... WHAT? LUSS 6 miles?
Still? You can enter this path anytime you like, but you can never leave - Hotel California style 

Edit: MDB, Potsy took Nessie!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

And for the record, I slept in


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

coffeejo said:


> Is North Wales downhill from Manchester?


ha ha! brilliant!


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> And for the record, I slept in


'ts all right, I slept all day today


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> While MDB was fearlessly riding into the horizon, leaping over potholes, gliding over loose gravel, I was paying attention to the signage.
> Luss 6 miles (can cope with that) ... Luss 4 miles (double espresso here I come) .... WHAT? LUSS 6 miles?
> Still? You can enter this path anytime you like, but you can never leave - Hotel California style



It isn't too far away from Royston Vasey, I forgot to mention that.



> Edit: MDB, Potsy took Nessie!



Eh? Nessie is sat here next to me as I write this.


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> Eh? Nessie is sat here next to me as I write this.


 
Look at Potsy's avatar.


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

Lisa21 said:


> Door's unlocked, let yourself in when you get here


Sounds like a trap to me Jo  and she will force feed you jaffa cakes


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Look at Potsy's avatar.



Oh aye, the hat is famous! 

That's it, I am definitely taking it to the Paralympic road race and see if I can get on the telly with it! 


Look out for 'The Cyclechat Nessie'.


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

coffeejo said:


> Is North Wales downhill from Manchester?


Only on the way out, you don't stay in Wales any longer than necessary


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

potsy said:


> Only on the way out, you don't stay in Wales any longer than necessary


I've not been to Wales (yet), is it not a beautiful bit of the country? Will go there on a cycling trip for sure one day.


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

The Cyclechat Nessie Relay anyone?


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> I've not been to Wales (yet), is it not a beautiful bit of the country? Will go there on a cycling trip for sure one day.


It's the funny people that live there that are the problem


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> The Cyclechat Nessie Relay anyone?


careful of the ears, I think they need a bit of superglue, or stitching, least they detach themselves


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

potsy said:


> It's the funny people that live there that are the problem


Well, you could just go camping off track, live of nature, bath in streams, avoid the locals, while on holiday there.
Only then you would come across as a crazy Englishman!


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## coffeejo (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Only then you would come across as a crazy Englishman!


Only then?


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> careful of the ears, I think they need a bit of superglue, or stitching, least they detach themselves



The fins you mean? Anyway, I'll keep an eye on them, ok, thanks.


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## Pat "5mph" (31 Jul 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> The fins you mean? Anyway, I'll keep an eye on them, ok, thanks.


No, I mean the ears, take a lot at them.


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## Cubist (31 Jul 2012)

Lovely story guys, brilliant photos and respect Pat, that's a helluva mileage you did there. For the record, West Yorks is downhill from Scotlandshire, the Local Shop from Royston Vasey ((we didn't burn him, those aren't his boots) is in the next valley from here, and I'm told Cubette makes wonderful cake, so set yer Garmin fornHuddersfield, it' s just over 68 1/2 miles, give or take......


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## potsy (31 Jul 2012)

coffeejo said:


> Only then?


Shut it, Welsh girl


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

One thing I hadn't realised about Pat is that, despite living in Scotland for XX years, she still has her Italian accent. 
Her voice on the other end of the phone was a bit startling at first!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

Nessie has been watching the 'Lympics again today, with Rowing, Swimming, Tennis, Fencing, Hockey, Handball, Gymnastics, Equestrian and, it's personal favourite, Sailing being viewed today!


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## Mad Doug Biker (31 Jul 2012)

And after having a relatively problem free ride yesterday.... When I actually got going I mean....... And the clippless moment at Luss  I went out briefly today to do a few bits and pieces and in the space of a couple of miles, my chain came off, and, on accelerating away from some lights as they changed, I couldn't get my right foot into the clippless pedal and so had a decidedly crap acceleration away. With cars behind me.

They both happened at the same junction as well, and was the junction we both crossed going onto Dumbarton High Street yesterday (and close to where I pointed out where Cindy's vet is. Charmer me). The chain suddenly decided to come off as I tried to get my foot clipped in and accelerate away from the lights going towards the high street, and was forced to drift across the junction in front of a driver who just glared at me (ha ha), coming to a stand on the pavement at the other side (that bike I have can really coast though, so I was able to glide right across instead of having get off and run for it!).

The other thing was just a clippless malfunction. 

For the record, I have never liked that particular junction anyway as it appears to have been a bit of a cycling Bermuda triangle for me over the years. At no other junction do I have problems, it is just that one!


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## AnythingButVanilla (31 Jul 2012)

Sounds like you both had a lovely day out and I'm well jel as Luss is one of my favourite places and I've not been for years. What's the route from Glasgow like? Is it mostly cycle paths or a mixture of them and roads? I've only ever been there by car and remember it as a horribly busy main road, especially the bit between Clydebank and Bowling where a driving instructor once made me do 70mph as I sat in effing tears, the massive b*stard


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

Hey, Vanilla, how are you doing!
Yes, the only times before yesterday I'd been to Luss was by car, as you say a really busy fast road, never drove there myself, always got driven 
The cycle path from Glasgow - it's all cycle path now , no need to go on the roads at all - is a piece of cake, until Dumbarton, when it becomes a bit rough, only if you have skinny tyres though 
What I did is, from Bell's bridge, at SECC, follow the signposted route. Because I worked at Scotstoun Rugby stadium a couple of times (a turn off of the path) and knew the way, I went through the back of the SECC (where I work mostly) and stayed on the road until I joined the path at Scotstoun.
This only to avoid the pedestrians at the Crown Plaza, and the gravel stretch towards the new transport museum, but I could have avoided the road altogether.
From Scotstoun (lLoch Lomond is signed posted) you practically follow the signs all the way to Clydebank, you end up in the middle of the shopping centre, where you join the Forth and Clyde canal, really nice bit, up to Bowling Basin.
You need to cross roads a couple of times, but the signs are clear.
From Bowling you go up a wee hill, cross into a really nice path between trees all the way to Dumbarton, follows the railway.
There is even a little shop half way you can stop at.
From Dumbarton to Balloch it's a bit manure strewn at times (ha ha), still some beautiful scenery along the river Leven (if I remember correctly what my tourist guide said, the Leven is the fastest flowing river in Scotland, yes? )
From Balloch to Luss the path runs mostly along the busy road, with some detours along forest bits, all really nice to cycle through. A monster ascend when you come back from Luss, for a bit, not steep but never ending, puff puff!
Cycling folks living in the that area are really lucky: you can practically go along the paths from village to village, get off where you want, rejoin to go to the next Village/town.
Like a cycling ring road!


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## Mad Doug Biker (1 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> The cycle path from Glasgow - it's all cycle path now , no need to go on the roads at all - is a piece of cake, until Dumbarton, when it becomes a bit rough, only if you have skinny tyres though



To be more exact, the section between Clydebank and Bowling is closely packed gravel*, so not good for skinny tyres, and I normally 'road it' then but after that, it is ok, a few cowpats at a certain location excepted.....



> From Dumbarton to Balloch it's a bit manure strewn at times (ha ha), still some beautiful scenery along the river Leven (if I remember correctly what my tourist guide said, the Leven is the fastest flowing river in Scotland, yes? )



One of the fastest flowing, yes. The path runs past a local farm, hence the cows.



> From Balloch to Luss the path runs mostly along the busy road, with some detours along forest bits, all really nice to cycle through. A monster ascend when you come back from Luss, for a bit, not steep but never ending, puff puff!
> Cycling folks living in the that area are really lucky: you can practically go along the paths from village to village, get off where you want, rejoin to go to the next Village/town.
> Like a cycling ring road!



It could be the best track ever, but the Cycletrack snobs still wouldn't use it. The amusing thing is that I use my Felt on a lot of those tracks and I have had by far, a lot more punctures when cycling on the road that I ever have using those paths!

I happen to be very much of the opinion that, if you have a good path, why use the road and risk getting mown down by an HGV?

* - Idiotically, where the path splits at Clydbank and goes towards Glasgow on the northern route through Anniesland etc, continues being closely packed gravel, but the southern route through Yoker etc is paved, and continues to be so until about Newton, and that is only becuase there is a small road section (The path deterioates to a dirt path and even vanishes altogether between about Uddingston and Hamilton/Strathclyde Park though).


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## GetAGrip (1 Aug 2012)

Wow oh Wow, what a great story!!! Deffo change to Pat the 68'er now . Well done YOU and thanks for putting it all in print. T'was a great read


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## Lisa21 (1 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> careful of the ears, I think they need a bit of superglue, or stitching, least they detach themselves


O bless him, dont be mean Pat, poor MDB cant help his ears. Thats probably why he wore your hat...to cover them up........


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## Lisa21 (1 Aug 2012)

potsy said:


> It's the funny people that live there that are the problem


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## MrJamie (1 Aug 2012)

GetAGrip said:


> Wow oh Wow, what a great story!!! Deffo change to Pat the 68'er now .


 Lucky she didnt do 1 more mile


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## GetAGrip (1 Aug 2012)

MrJamie said:


> Lucky she didnt do 1 more mile


I thought at the time, how long before.......................


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

MrJamie said:


> Lucky she didnt do 1 more mile


Cheeky but not completely off the mark: 69 used to be my till operator ID


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## GlasgowGaryH (1 Aug 2012)

Great story,I usually get as far as the Erskine Bridge and decide thats far enough west. Too posh to go any further


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

Lisa21 said:


> O bless him, dont be mean Pat, poor MDB cant help his ears. Thats probably why he wore your hat...to cover them up........


No Lisa, he's not got big ears, just long fast racer's legs!


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## Fab Foodie (1 Aug 2012)

Great story, well told, but something's been nagging away at me and I've only just figured-out what it is ... and it's that MDB looks surprisingly normal ...


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## AnythingButVanilla (1 Aug 2012)

Brilliant, Ta. That sounds more than doable and might be nice to do maybe next spring as the boy has never been to Luss and wants to know what the fuss is about. See also Largs and Millport.


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## deptfordmarmoset (1 Aug 2012)

Excellent thread! When's the sequel?


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## AnythingButVanilla (1 Aug 2012)

Fab Foodie said:


> Great story, well told, but something's been nagging away at me and I've only just figured-out what it is ... and it's that MDB looks surprisingly normal ...


 
Anyone else think he has a look of Wiggins about him or is that just me?


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

Fab Foodie said:


> Great story, well told, but something's been nagging away at me and I've only just figured-out what it is ... and it's that MDB looks surprisingly normal ...


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

AnythingButVanilla said:


> Anyone else think he has a look of Wiggins about him or is that just me?


My wee legs are positive MDB *IS* Wiggins!


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

deptfordmarmoset said:


> Excellent thread! When's the sequel?


Keep tuned in, more adventures soon on this screen!


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## Fab Foodie (1 Aug 2012)

AnythingButVanilla said:


> Anyone else think he has a look of Wiggins about him or is that just me?


 It's just you ... Wiggo would never be seen dead in those strides ....


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## AnythingButVanilla (1 Aug 2012)

Can we get him to grow some sideys and sit on a throne so we can compare?


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## sunnyjim (1 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Strangely enough, it's now the day after, I'm ok, just the back of my upper legs are a bit stiff. *No sore bum whatsoever, I was not even wearing padded shorts.*
> I think it's because of my job, keeps me fit: I've got to walk up and down the SECC, long hours on my feet, often with added heavy lifting.
> I've always had active jobs, and of course I commute the 5 miles there and back by bike, every shift.


 
You are obviously made of stern stuff.


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## sunnyjim (1 Aug 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> One thing I hadn't realised about Pat is that, despite living in Scotland for XX years, she still has her Italian accent.
> Her voice on the other end of the phone was a bit startling at first!


 
Do we have to read all her posts in fake Italian accents now?


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

sunnyjim said:


> Do we have to read all her posts in fake Italian accents now?


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## sunnyjim (1 Aug 2012)

Congrats anyway on the distance.
Mad Doug's not as stupid as he looks you know.


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Aug 2012)

sunnyjim said:


> Congrats anyway on the distance.
> Mad Doug's not as stupid as he looks you know.


Oh, boy: me thinks you gonna be chased by MDB throughout the mean streets of Glesga sooon: he's gonna get you, Jimmy, 'cause he's VERY fast!


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## potsy (1 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Oh, boy: me thinks you gonna be chased by MDB throughout the mean streets of Glesga sooon: *he's gonna get you, Jimmy*, 'cause he's VERY fast!


Now, I'm reading that in a Rab C Nesbitt accent, not Italian


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## sunnyjim (1 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Oh, boy: me thinks you gonna be chased by MDB throughout the mean streets of Glesga sooon: he's gonna get you, Jimmy, 'cause he's VERY fast!


 
He He but I'm in the auld reekieness of Embra- which is divided from Gleskae by an impenetrable veil through which no mortal can pass.*

Plus, while not very fast, I'm very low, so can hide in the bushes. 

* Unless you turn L instead of R when you hit the canal, in which case you'll sneak in under our anti-westcoaster radar and avoiding the indescribable horrors of  the Bleak Orc-infested Gloomiferous Mountains of Mordor  Harthill and quite likely end up a nice pub.


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## Mad Doug Biker (2 Aug 2012)

Fokker said:


> Great story,I usually get as far as the Erskine Bridge and decide thats far enough west. Too posh to go any further



It is a curious mixture of nice countryside and.... THE VALE OF LEVEN!! Actually, Pat was wondering what what wrong with the place as the path looked quite nice. I did mention one or two stories about dogs, but I failed to mention that several people have been murdered along there before. 



AnythingButVanilla said:


> Anyone else think he has a look of Wiggins about him or is that just me?



Does this mean I'll need to grow side burns now?



Pat "5mph" said:


> My wee legs are positive MDB *IS* Wiggins!



I wish!



Fab Foodie said:


> It's just you ... Wiggo would never be seen dead in those strides ....



I refuse to wear shorts in public, sorry.
Actually, if you want to know who I really look like, especially when I haven't shaved and I need a haircut, is Shaggy from Scooby Doo!



Pat "5mph" said:


> Strangely enough, it's now the day after, I'm ok, just the back of my upper legs are a bit stiff. No sore bum whatsoever, I was not even wearing padded shorts.



We were wandering through Halfords (don't ask, it was entirely my own fault) with Pat watching some kids look at Cycling shorts, and declared that with the padded bum bit that they looked like nappies.

Yet another reason why I don't wear shorts.... 


sunnyjim said:


> Do we have to read all her posts in fake Italian accents now?



Whenza your Dolmio day?



sunnyjim said:


> Mad Doug's not as stupid as he looks you know.



Is this the Post a lie thread?


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## Mad Doug Biker (2 Aug 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> Nessie has been watching the 'Lympics again today, with Rowing, Swimming, Tennis, Fencing, Hockey, Handball, Gymnastics, Equestrian and, it's personal favourite, Sailing being viewed today!



It was a bit disappointed yesterday as we were watching Wiggo win his gold in the TT, but my Mum had freinds round and she wanted to show them holiday pictures on the telly.... So we went to the back room to watch the conclusion of the race, except that I forgot about Nessie, so it got to see pictures of Iceland instead.....




Note to self: Nessie isn't actually real.


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## GetAGrip (2 Aug 2012)

Reading this thread confirmed what I have often thought when reading your previous threads Pat. You have the ability to take an everyday scenario, then, very cleverly, you engage folks imagination and show us how to look at the funnier side of life.
With your simple, funny, entertaining but concise way of writing, I think you should seriously consider sharing your stories about life with 'Boris', aka. 'Spokeo', maybe? with children everywhere, enlightening them to the joys of having a magical and loyal two wheeled steed!
You go girl


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## Nihal (2 Aug 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> One thing I hadn't realised about Pat is that, despite living in Scotland for XX years, she still has her Italian accent.
> Her voice on the other end of the phone was a bit startling at first!


Okay now you've confused me.Pats mom is German,she (Pat) has an italian accent..............and she now goes at 68mph

Awesome story and ride guys



Fab Foodie said:


> Great story, well told, but something's been nagging away at me and I've only just figured-out what it is ... and it's that MDB looks surprisingly normal ...


Yes it is,is'nt it??
And Pat,i really doubt you are already 49.............


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## Lisa21 (2 Aug 2012)

User14044mountain said:


> I've just caught up on this thread.......absolutely brilliant - well done Pat, I've really enjoyed reading it. I'm also pleased that Doug does exist and that he's not a 15 year old girl or a 60 year old man weighing 40 stone. *As an earlier poster said....you both look* *normal*


Remember, looks can be decieving........

_although im sure Pat's normal_..............................


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## Mad Doug Biker (3 Aug 2012)

GetAGrip said:


> Reading this thread confirmed what I have often thought when reading your previous threads Pat. You have the ability to take an everyday scenario, then, very cleverly, you engage folks imagination and show us how to look at the funnier side of life.
> With your simple, funny, entertaining but concise way of writing, I think you should seriously consider sharing your stories about life with 'Boris', aka. 'Spokeo', maybe? with children everywhere, enlightening them to the joys of having a magical and loyal two wheeled steed!
> You go girl



Yes I enjoyed your writing too. Have you thought of taking it further?


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## Nihal (3 Aug 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> Yes I enjoyed your writing too. Have you thought of taking it further?


Maybe we'll see the Adventure of Pat and Doug in the bookstores soon


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## Pat "5mph" (3 Aug 2012)

Mad Doug Biker said:


> Yes I enjoyed your writing too. Have you thought of taking it further?


I wanted to be a writer in my youth  lost it somehow


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## phil_hg_uk (3 Aug 2012)

I thought MDB would look like this:


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## phil_hg_uk (3 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> lost it somehow


 
Yes most people find that they completly lose it when they come on here .............. just look at Lisa


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## Pat "5mph" (3 Aug 2012)

phil_hg_uk said:


> Yes most people find that they completly lose it when they come on here .............. just look at Lisa


Better not click "like" here: us girls must stick together!


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## Fubar (3 Aug 2012)

Great story, thanks for posting. M


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## phil_hg_uk (3 Aug 2012)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Better not click "like" here: us girls must stick together!


 
Its ok she is used to it by now


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## Mad Doug Biker (4 Aug 2012)

Nihal said:


> Maybe we'll see the Adventure of Pat and Doug in the bookstores soon



Surely it'd be the Adventures of Boris And Friends?


phil_hg_uk said:


> I thought MDB would look like this:



If I haven't shaved in a while I..... no, only kidding.


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## Lisa21 (4 Aug 2012)

phil_hg_uk said:


> Yes most people find that they completly lose it when they come on here .............. just look at Lisa


I cant really comment on that, now can I



Pat "5mph" said:


> Better not click "like" here: us girls must stick together!


 



phil_hg_uk said:


> Its ok she is used to it by now


Yep, am used to it
Dont worry Pat, we shall just have to keep on humouring these silly boys


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## Sandra6 (4 Aug 2012)

Fantastic tale of an epic ride!
Looking forward to the next one.


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## Nihal (5 Aug 2012)

Lisa21 said:


> Dont worry Pat, we shall just have to keep on humouring these silly boys


Ahem...........


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## Lisa21 (5 Aug 2012)

Nihal said:


> Ahem...........


 You, too, have your moments


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## Nihal (5 Aug 2012)

Lisa21 said:


> You, too, have your moments


Right,right..........yellow pills......be sure to take them nex.........


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## Lisa21 (5 Aug 2012)

I have the yellow ones too.............


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## Nihal (6 Aug 2012)

Lisa21 said:


> I have the yellow ones too.............


i looked at the packing and it says

"Produced in Wales for Sane People"

If thats sane in Wales,i must say,i took them.............and i'm feeling real good


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## Mad Doug Biker (12 Aug 2012)

I also need to apologise for cycling down that short one way section especially to show you part of the cycle track in Dumbarton Pat. At least you payed me back with that RLJ!


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## Mad Doug Biker (12 Aug 2012)

I'll also have to get the pictures up from Nessie's latest adventure later on today. I have been a bit distracted with things these past few days.

Where did he go? Well, you'll have to wait and find out, but all I am going to say is that it involved copious amounts of bikes!


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## Pat "5mph" (12 Aug 2012)

Well, MDB, if you'd sleep at night instead of staying up "inter-netting", you surely would be less distracted during the day! 
While you were posting at 3am, I was cycling home from George Square: RLJin' all the way


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