# Things you're always being asked about cycling/your bike



## Xiorell (10 Nov 2011)

What things do you get asked all the time, about cycling/your bike? Comments that keep popping up? Be it family, friends or colleagues

The _newest_ thing I keep hearing, are about the saddle on my new bike. "doesn't that hurt your ass/break your balls" kinda stuff


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## gaz (10 Nov 2011)

'is that a camera?'


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## TheDoctor (10 Nov 2011)

"You ride to work every day? You must be really fit!!"
It's just over a mile. And I'm still a fat bastard...
*weeps*


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## Tyres23 (10 Nov 2011)

I get asked if I'm mad goes like oh nice bike how far you rode !!! 44 miles are you mMAD


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## GrumpyGregry (11 Nov 2011)

Why? or a variant on it


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## BluesDave (11 Nov 2011)

I get asked how long have you had that, have you lost your licence and how do you cope without a van? The answers are since 1999, no I've never had one and I'm going to learn to drive next year. I think I usualely cycle depending on where I'm working about 10-14 miles a day .


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## jay clock (11 Nov 2011)

"why do you need 6 bikes?"


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## Strick (11 Nov 2011)

Most people in my life, just have encouragement as they know the reasons I am doing it.
Work colleagues are generally the ones who are astounded. 

But you live MILES away - Yup, 7 and a half, you live closer but choose to drive.
How long does that take - About 5 minutes longer than if I drove.
I wish I could do it - You can, you live less than 2 miles away, buy a bike.
I didn't think there were cycleroutes from yours - there aren't - You don't come down that dangerous road do you (refering to the A15) - No such thing as a dangerous road, only dangerous road users.
What happens when it rains - I get wet.
And my personal favourite to date......



How far is it to cycle in from yours? - 7 and a half miles - Oh.... how far is it by car? - Erm....... 7 and a half miles....


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## Fran143 (11 Nov 2011)

"Are you mad.....why would you cycle that distance when you have a car".......Eh, because I want to and I can!!!!


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## Fran143 (11 Nov 2011)

Uncle Mort said:


> Why _do_ you need 6 bikes?




One for monday...tuesday....wednesday....thursday....friday.....saturday and rest day sunday!


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## Silver Fox (11 Nov 2011)

How much did you pay for it.


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## Fran143 (11 Nov 2011)

Aren't you scared on the road?


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## YahudaMoon (11 Nov 2011)

Does that bike go fast ?


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## Fran143 (11 Nov 2011)

YahudaMoon said:


> Does that bike go fast ?




Doesn't that depend on the cyclist then....what are they implying?


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## Hip Priest (11 Nov 2011)

The usual one is: "Four and a half miles each way? I couldn't do that and do a full day's work." I work with very unfit people. To give an example: We work on the second floor of a building, and there is a group of my colleagues who go outside for a smoke three or four times a day, in all weathers. The only thing that stops them is when the lift is undergoing maintenance.

I've seen them sit for hours going "Is the lift working again yet? I'm dying for a tab."


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## YahudaMoon (11 Nov 2011)

Fran143 said:


> Doesn't that depend on the cyclist then....what are they implying?



Lol. No idea ? Maybe if the bike was dropped from a plane at 30.000 ft it could break records lol


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## PpPete (11 Nov 2011)

Hip Priest said:


> The usual one is: "Four and a half miles each way? I couldn't do that and do a full day's work." I work with very unfit people. To give an example: We work on the second floor of a building, and there is a group of my colleagues who go outside for a smoke three or four times a day, in all weathers. The only thing that stops them is when the lift is undergoing maintenance.
> 
> I've seen them sit for hours going "Is the lift working again yet? I'm dying for a tab."



Sounds like someone needs to indulge in some creative sabotage !


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## Fnaar (11 Nov 2011)

"Why is your pump so small?"


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## steve52 (11 Nov 2011)

Fran143 said:


> "Are you mad.....why would you cycle that distance when you have a car".......Eh, because I want to and I can!!!!




my reply is allways because its side effect is to intensify orgasms


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## PaulSecteur (11 Nov 2011)

After doing my first 40 mile charity ride people would ask...

"Are you an athelete?"


Very much not!


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## 400bhp (11 Nov 2011)

YahudaMoon said:


> Does that bike go fast ?


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## Moodyman (11 Nov 2011)

Why do you do it? Can you not drive or summat?

When they learn that I commute to work


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## Baggy (11 Nov 2011)

Fran143 said:


> Aren't you scared on the road?


Yup, this is probably the question I'm asked the most!


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## Col5632 (11 Nov 2011)

Strick said:


> Most people in my life, just have encouragement as they know the reasons I am doing it.
> Work colleagues are generally the ones who are astounded.
> 
> But you live MILES away - Yup, 7 and a half, you live closer but choose to drive.
> ...



Brilliant 

Some people are just so lazy, i cycled in to my work on wed and the women next to me said "your keen" she said this because i was slightly wet due to the drizzle outside 

Needless to say im the only one who cycles to work, i live prob the 2nd furthest away at 5.5 miles each way, most people work within a 10 min walk and they all drive


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## Moodyman (11 Nov 2011)

YahudaMoon said:


> Does that bike go fast ?



Classic!


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## John the Monkey (11 Nov 2011)

Uncle Mort said:


> Why _do_ you need 6 bikes?



Grant (from Rivendell Bike Works)



> Q: How many bikes?
> 
> A: Seven is good. a beater, a bomber, a single-speed, a touring bike, a lightish road bike, a do-all racked and bagged bike, a mixte, a loaner, and a work in progress.Seven? Make it nine.
> 
> ”


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## sdr gb (11 Nov 2011)

I'm usually asked:

How much did you pay for it?
How many gears has it got?
How do you know which gear you're in?
Them are funny pedals (I use Look Keo).
Do you really sit on that saddle? There's hardly any padding!


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## akb (11 Nov 2011)

'Its raining/cold/windy/too hot/snowing/dark etc outside. Would you like a lift home...?'
That one always bugs me! Thanks for the generosity but it was raining/cold/windy/too hot/snowing/etc when I came in to work. Im sure I can cope on the way home. 

Another classic: '11 miles?! That must take you aggeees!' Erm. Nope. The same as it is to drive, and I dont have to sit in traffic.


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## MissTillyFlop (11 Nov 2011)

You're cycling home? After dark?


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## Cal (11 Nov 2011)

In just over a couple of months (when I first mentioned I was thinking of getting a bike instead of a car) it's gone from 'you must be mad' and rolled eyes to 'Hmm, bet it's a good way to keep fit, what was it like to start off?'


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## Bman (11 Nov 2011)

"looks like you need some new tyres, there's no tread left on them!"


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## John the Monkey (11 Nov 2011)

Own a Brompton?

Get used to smiling and agreeing "Yes, it is just like 'Transformers'"


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## ColinJ (11 Nov 2011)

Well, I only got asked this question once but it was such a pleasure to see the reaction to my reply, I have to mention it again here ...

I was going down to Coventry to visit my elderly mother and had decided that at long last I was fit enough to cycle down. My route took me over some tough climbs in West Yorkshire, and then down through the Peak District. I hadn't told my mum that I'd be cycling; she was expecting me to catch the train.

I had just arrived when my mum's evening carer turned up. I was standing in the hallway next to my bike and was wearing my cycling clothes.

Carer: _"Hi Colin - have you just cycled up from the railway station?"_

Me: _"No."_

Carer: _"Oh, so you are going for a ride now?"_

Me: _"No, I've just arrived!"_

Carer: _"Eh - where from?"_

Me: _"My home."_

Carer: _*"What - in Yorkshire!"*_

Me: _"Yes."__*
*_
Carer: _"How far is that?"_

Me (checking GPS): _"Er, 227 km or 141 miles, with 4,000 metres or 13,000 ft of hills._

There was a perfect, long, stunned silence ...


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## Hip Priest (11 Nov 2011)

To be honest I'd be as shocked as the carer, even now. 141 miles? Chapeau.


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## Amanda P (11 Nov 2011)

ColinJ said:


> Well, I only got asked this question once but it was such a pleasure to see the reaction to my reply, I have to mention it again here ...
> 
> I was going down to Coventry to visit my elderly mother and had decided that at long last I was fit enough to cycle down. My route took me over some tough climbs in West Yorkshire, and then down through the Peak District. I hadn't told my mum that I'd be cycling; she was expecting me to catch the train.
> 
> ...


Mrs Uncle Phil and I can beat that. She had a contract in Lista, Norway. We cycled there. She had much the same conversation with various people when we got there. It took us two weeks and was about 950 miles. (And it was a fantastic trip). (We didn't do it in one day, though, unlike Colin).

"You're kidding. You can't cycle from England - you have to fly... don't you?"


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## cyberknight (11 Nov 2011)

Is it carbon?

I get that every week on the club run from other riders when out on the ally boardman , the smooth welds fool them.


"Get a car " is what i get from most people along with the old road tax and insurance guff.


"your riding that far ?? what charity are you doing it for? " i once got when i entered a sportive , when i told them it was for fun they told me i was mad ...


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## Amanda P (11 Nov 2011)

And to answer the question properly...

I'm usually asked at the coffee machine at work "Are you still coming in by bike every day?"

To which I usually reply "Yes. And are you still coming in by car every day?" (with a not-so-subtle glance at their belly, if there is one - and there often is).


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## MissTillyFlop (11 Nov 2011)

Uncle Phil said:


> Mrs Uncle Phil and I can beat that. She had a contract in Lista, Norway. We cycled there. She had much the same conversation with various people when we got there. It took us two weeks and was about 950 miles. (And it was a fantastic trip). (We didn't do it in one day, though, unlike Colin).
> 
> "You're kidding. You can't cycle from England - you have to fly... don't you?"



I am so doing this - thank you.


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## cyberknight (11 Nov 2011)

Uncle Phil said:


> And to answer the question properly...
> 
> I'm usually asked at the coffee machine at work "Are you still coming in by bike every day?"
> 
> To which I usually reply "Yes. And are you still coming in by car every day?" (with a not-so-subtle glance at their belly, if there is one - and there often is).




I tell people on don`t want to pay the fat tax when i get that one


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## ColinJ (11 Nov 2011)

Uncle Phil said:


> Mrs Uncle Phil and I can beat that. She had a contract in Lista, Norway. We cycled there. She had much the same conversation with various people when we got there. It took us two weeks and was about 950 miles. (And it was a fantastic trip). (We didn't do it in one day, though, unlike Colin).
> 
> "You're kidding. You can't cycle from England - you have to fly... don't you?"


Sounds great, but technically you can't cycle all the way from England unless you were doing circuits of the deck of the ferry!


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## GrumpyGregry (11 Nov 2011)

John the Monkey said:


> Own a Brompton?
> 
> Get used to smiling and agreeing "Yes, it is just like 'Transformers'"



Do you get the "Can I pick it up?" from other train commuters?


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## GrumpyGregry (11 Nov 2011)

John the Monkey said:


> Own a Brompton?
> 
> Get used to smiling and agreeing "Yes, it is just like 'Transformers'"



Do you get the "Can I pick it up?" from other train commuters?


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## jay clock (11 Nov 2011)

> Why _do_ you need 6 bikes?


Yes, that is often the riposte!!!

OK

1 Top pricey road bike for March to September
2 Winter road bike with mudguards
3 Touring bike - only used for touring
4 MTB - little used
5 Folder. Not used often but serves a fantastic purpose when I do use it.
6 Hack hybrid. Got free from ex-wife's partner as he had been told it needed £400 work on it. It is grubby and knackered but it works


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## wheres_my_beard (11 Nov 2011)

Often at a local ATM.
Person:Nice bike, mate, is it a fixie?
Me: Yes it is.

Person: It looks fast.
Me: Only as fast as I can pedal.

Fin


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## palinurus (11 Nov 2011)

DavidDecorator said:


> I get asked how long have you had that, have you lost your licence and how do you cope without a van? The answers are since 1999, no I've never had one and I'm going to learn to drive next year. I think I usualely cycle depending on where I'm working about 10-14 miles a day .



I can see the temptation! How do you cope without a van?

Cargo bike? trailer?

When I've got decorating or small construction jobs to do around the flat I can generally do most of it with my trailer. Larger stuff I can get delivered.


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## palinurus (11 Nov 2011)

Are you brave or mad?

Brave actually.

And really manly. I can drink four cups of tea in one hour and I like shopping for power tools.

Your bikes got no gears.

It has two.

Forward and reverse.

It's terrible out there, would you like a lift?

NO WAAAY!

I mean, um, no thanks.


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## YahudaMoon (11 Nov 2011)

jay clock said:


> Yes, that is often the riposte!!!
> 
> OK
> 
> 6 Hack hybrid. Got free from ex-wife's partner as he had been told it needed £400 work on it. It is grubby and knackered but it works



Im still trying to work out if its a good deal ?


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## Nearly there (11 Nov 2011)

You look different wearing an helmet


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## pepecat (11 Nov 2011)

'You must be mad'
(When i tell them how far i go. Even 20 miles seems to get that comment)

Well........actually......_technically_...... yes, I am mad. The Bham and Solihull Mental Health Trust would say so, anyway!

The other one is 'And you're walking around ok today?' again, when people find out how far i've cycled the day before.
Er yeah..... why wouldn't i be?


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## John the Monkey (11 Nov 2011)

GregCollins said:


> Do you get the "Can I pick it up?" from other train commuters?



Huh, never. Is that common?


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## Telemark (11 Nov 2011)

Fran143 said:


> One for monday...tuesday....wednesday....thursday....friday.....saturday and rest day sunday!




Fran - you mean you haven't got a Sunday Best Bike (yet)!  

When we went touring in Lanarkshire in the spring, just sorting our shopping outside the Co-op, a bloke in a large 4x4 stopped and said "Excuse me, do you mind me asking - how far do go on that?" 
Mr T. "You mean in a day?"
Bloke "yes"
Mr. T. "oh, about 60 miles or so"
Bloke " 60 miles a DAY???"
MR. T "yes"
Bloke: "Do you not find that you burn out?"
Mr T. "Um, no"
Bloke: "Well you are looking very well on it, very fit and healthy"
Mr T. "Thank you."
Bloke "Thanks, Cheers.."
(shamelessly copied from Mr T.'s blog, by the way ... so I suppose I better give him credit)

Makes me smile every time I remember it  

T


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## cycleruk (11 Nov 2011)

some of the things i have been asked are
1 why are cyclist on the road, you dont pay road tax
2 why dont you by a car 
3 why on earth do you ride a bike on long distances, you must be mad
the first one ended in a big augument!, the second one i think is because i work at a car garage, im the only one who dosent have a car and the third one i said try it and you will see why, which was then followed by you must be mad


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## Jonathing (11 Nov 2011)

Person at work:- Why doesn't your bike have any gears?

Me:- Well it has one gear

PAW:- Why?

Me:- It's not important how many you have, so long as you have the right one.


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## Strick (12 Nov 2011)

cycleruk said:


> the second one i think is because i work at a car garage



Which garage do you work? I'm in the motor trade in Peterborough too.


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## sabian92 (13 Nov 2011)

I get looked at like a freak for riding to college because I've got bibs on and the straps fall down when i'm not stood up, and people think i'm adjusting a bra






I've never had any really weird questions though, just inconsiderate people parking in cycle lanes who have a go at me because I tell them to move and they look at me like I'M the tit.


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## Hip Priest (13 Nov 2011)

"Ooh, can I feel your calves?"


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## Titan yer tummy (13 Nov 2011)

Uncle Phil said:


> Mrs Uncle Phil and I can beat that. She had a contract in Lista, Norway. We cycled there. She had much the same conversation with various people when we got there. It took us two weeks and was about 950 miles. (And it was a fantastic trip). (*We didn't do it in one day, though, unlike Colin*).
> 
> "You're kidding. You can't cycle from England - you have to fly... don't you?"



Slackers!!


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## MissTillyFlop (13 Nov 2011)

Hip Priest said:


> "Ooh, can I feel your calves?"



Yup. Whenever I go out with my friends, they all end up jabbing me in the thigh.


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## Bluebell72 (13 Nov 2011)

Hah, my OH proffers my thighs/butt to other people to feel when they say they've seen me out on the road and 'you must be mad' 'I can't see the point' 'it's too dangerous to go on the road' slips into their spiel - 'feel her arse, go on, it's like rock' he says.
Soon shuts 'em up.


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## Gmanjft96 (13 Nov 2011)

Visitor, "Where do you come from"?
Me, "only Brighton"
Visitor, "that cost you a few quid in fuel"?
Me, "no I have a bike"
Visitor, "oh, a motorbike"
Me, "no a pushbike"
Visitor, "what, a pushbike, you ride all the way here on a bike"?
Me, "it's really not that far"
Visitor, "you must be bloody mad".


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## cycleruk (13 Nov 2011)

Strick said:


> Which garage do you work? I'm in the motor trade in Peterborough too.


main car garage in oundle


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## Norm (13 Nov 2011)

Former colleagues never did believe that I'd ride 10 miles each way to work but my funniest was near Bedwyn in Wiltshire. I was chatting with a couple of walkers who asked where I was riding to. When I told them I was riding back to Windsor (about 55 miles), they asked where I was stopping for the night.


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## GrumpyGregry (13 Nov 2011)

John the Monkey said:


> Huh, never. Is that common?



Never happened in three years of home-London commutting with my old Brompton but twice in a week with the new one. Must be the colours, or that they are quite rare on my rail route.


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## markg0vbr (13 Nov 2011)

you should try riding a handbike 6miles each way i get 
How much did you pay for it?
How many gears has it got?
is it comfortable laying down?
can people see you?
how do you steer it?
how fast dose it go?
did you make it?
comments i get range from moving cars 
"get a proper bike"
"get off the f*&^g road"
"f*&^g spaz"
"historical laughter, very artificial and forced" normally fat women for some reason?
then 
"can i have a go"
"i want one"

i had one bloke at the photocopier get quite heated* apparently it is physically impossible for a man with one leg shorter than the other with a hip full of mettle bolts to do ten miles on a hand bike then do then 30 miles on a recumbent trike five days a week. 
he eventually believed me when my friend came up and said "yep i see him all the time and he rides 40miles on a Saturday to meet up with his motorbike club friends as well"
*he seemed to be really angry about it and for the life of me i cant understand why?


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## BikeCurious (14 Nov 2011)

"Why isn't there any tread on your tyres? You'll have an accident!"I explain that tread patterns aren't required on bike types due to no risk of aquaplaning... they don't get it."Why have you only got one brake? Couldn't you afford two? Ha ha ha"I explain it's a fixed gear bike and I slow the back wheel through the pedals... they look at me like I'm made and walk off.


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## MattHB (14 Nov 2011)

Whilst walking down the corridor at work the other day while wearing hi viz jacket, tights, helmet.

'oh are you on a bike today?'. 

I said..

'no, it's just that I love dressing up like this.. I feel kinda seeeexxxxxyyyyy'.

She walked away really quickly.


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## Kiwiavenger (14 Nov 2011)

MattHB said:


> Whilst walking down the corridor at work the other day while wearing hi viz jacket, tights, helmet.
> 
> 'oh are you on a bike today?'.
> 
> ...



i may have to use that one!!! lol


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## Fran143 (14 Nov 2011)

The one that makes me laugh the most is the amount of folk at the gym that ask why I'd cycle there.


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## Strick (14 Nov 2011)

cycleruk said:


> main car garage in oundle


Ahh, we dont go out that far, so wont have dealt with you then.


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## Spinney (14 Nov 2011)

markg0vbr said:


> you should try riding a handbike 6miles each way i get
> How much did you pay for it?
> How many gears has it got?
> is it comfortable laying down?
> ...


These actually seem like sensible questions to me - never having seen a hand bike close up.



> i had one bloke at the photocopier get quite heated* apparently it is physically impossible for a man with one leg shorter than the other with a hip full of mettle bolts to do ten miles on a hand bike then do then 30 miles on a recumbent trike five days a week.



*Jealousy?


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## Bicycle (14 Nov 2011)

I used to work in Sarajevo and cycled in to my office from an eastern suburb.

Every time he saw me setting off on my bicycle, a neighbour would yell across from his balcony *"Still saving up?"
*
He figured that if I could have bought a car, I'd be driving. It became his standard morning greeting to me.

He was a really good guy and his wife cleaned and ironed for me. We had many a coffee on each other's balconies.

He just never got his head round the idea that I might want to ride; he always saw it as some sort of enforced economy measure.


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## Jezston (14 Nov 2011)

"You doing the tour de france this year?"

_What?_


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## Andrew_P (14 Nov 2011)

Recently I have been asked quite a few time "You won't be cycling in the snow?" the dissapointing thing is that it is said almost gleefully.


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## fossyant (14 Nov 2011)

"Hello spiderman", Me "Hah, it's Spiderman or Sonic usually"

Next day, same person - "Ah see you've got dressed now?" (All in jest).

Saddle comments are regular.

Snow comments are funny - 'look of horror' but they all know about the spiked tyres now.


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## ColinJ (14 Nov 2011)

Fran143 said:


> The one that makes me laugh the most is the amount of folk at the gym that ask why I'd cycle there.


Do they take the escalator up from the car park ...?


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## Dora (14 Nov 2011)

You're riding all the way to _______________?!
You've ridden from ______________?!?!
You know that's like... more than 500 yards?
You haven't biked it here, have you? (no, the bike I'm sat on is a total red herring)

It's not so much the questions that bother me as the laughter that comes with them. I don't understand that.
I did have the conversation with an ice cream seller once, en route from Wigan to Blackpool. It resulted in free ice cream. Win!!

The questions I ask myself are more worrying though:
Ooh, that looks like too far to drive...I wonder if I could cycle it?

So far the answer has always been 'no' but it's only a matter of time!


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## jefmcg (14 Nov 2011)

Funny, I did the FNRttC last Friday on a 16" folding bike, and I got similar reactions from other cyclists: "you're brave", "get a proper bike", "is that thing comfortable for long rides?"


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## byegad (14 Nov 2011)

Recumbents get different questions.

1. How can people see you down there?

Ans. Well you're speaking to me so I'd guess you can see me!

2. Is that comfortable? 

Ans. Zzzz Zzzz Zzzz

3. Is it hard to pedal up hill.

Ans. Yes, but not that much harder than any bike and downhill it flies! 

4. How much did it cost?

Ans. Depends on who asks! If I think it's a valuation for a potential thief I say; It's the only one in the country so it cost a lot to import. If it's a rider of a decent bike I'll tell them the real cost of a new one. So far only one rider has thought the price cheap. But he was on a £3000 MTB!


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## redflightuk (14 Nov 2011)

byegad said:


> Recumbents get different questions.
> 
> 1. How can people see you down there?
> 
> ...



All the above plus "did you build it yourself".
Could of answered yes as it arrived in pieces in a big box. 

Is it a disabled bike.

How do you steer it.

Where are the gears.

Don't you feel vulnerable down there.

Can i have a go.


I like the look on peoples faces when i go shopping, walking around the store in cycling gear with a full trolley i get asked how are you gonna get that lot home on a bike. When i tell them about the trailer i get the look of horror when they ask how far i've got to go. FIVE MILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.


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## mark c (14 Nov 2011)

What!!! you spent that much on your wife/kids bikes, Halfords/Tesco ect have them for xxxxxx and they have Full suspension.


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## BrumJim (14 Nov 2011)

You'd like it here, its flat.

No, I hate cycling on the flat. Flat lands NEVER give up, and are often windy. You can never beat the flat, its always there. ALL hills run out eventually before you get a sense of achievement followed by a rest on a downhill bit.


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## Strick (14 Nov 2011)

BrumJim said:


> Flat lands NEVER give up, and are often windy. You can never beat the flat, its always there. ALL hills run out eventually before you get a sense of achievement followed by a rest on a downhill bit.



I've never looked at it like that before....


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## coffeejo (14 Nov 2011)

Another one for "are you mad"? Well, yes, but that's not linked to cycling


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## 4F (14 Nov 2011)

Strick said:


> .
> And my personal favourite to date......
> 
> 
> ...



To be fair if I cycle my commute is 14 miles however if I went by car the direct route avoiding the town centre is 20 miles


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## SmileyBoots (14 Nov 2011)

I've been asked several times how I balance my recumbent when I have to stop?

I do admit to putting one foot on the ground but I'd like to be able to think of a better answer. 

I was even asked this once while sitting at the lights with both feet on the ground.


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## cyberknight (14 Nov 2011)

MattHB said:


> Whilst walking down the corridor at work the other day while wearing hi viz jacket, tights, helmet.
> 
> 'oh are you on a bike today?'.
> 
> ...



I tell people i do not like cycling really , i just like the kinky clothes and i am off to a special "club" on the way home


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## Norm (14 Nov 2011)

cyberknight said:


> I tell people i do not like cycling really , i just like the kinky clothes and i am off to a special "club" on the way home


 My reply when in cycling gear is to say that I'm really nervous about being run over when on the top deck of a bus.

When in motorbike gear, I usually say I've robbed the bank on the way into the office.


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## Davidc (14 Nov 2011)

Had a gem today at the hairdresser. The comments were from a seriously fat man carrying a copy of the Daily Mail and stinking of cigarettes who'd followed me in. He'd seen me on the bike and I was wearing a helmet. FF will enjoy this if he sees it!

Him: "You'll have a heart attack doing that at your age"

Me: "Had one a few years ago, do you think the cycling caused it?"

Him: "Then you certainly shouldn't be doing it. You'll be killed on the roads within 6 months anyway".

Me: "Hadn't you noticed that I'm a ghost?"

Him: "Don't be stupid, you've just been ***king lucky so far. Straining yourself like that isn't good for you".

Hairdresser (aimed at fat man): "Please mind your language, we don't have swearing here".

Hairdresser (amed at me): "Are you doing that ride from Watchet to West Bay again next year for the Air Ambulance, 'cos we'll sponsor you again".

Him (loudly): "Cyclists ought to be locked up. You'll have another heart attack soon anyway".

He then just sat in his seat and sulked!


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## Dogberry (14 Nov 2011)

..............why do you lot never ride single file, its not as if you pay road tax on those things is it ?

Was a question I got asked today.


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## deptfordmarmoset (14 Nov 2011)

Dogberry said:


> ..............why do you lot never ride single file, its not as if you pay road tax on those things is it ?
> 
> Was a question I got asked today.



I don't suppose you were riding two abreast at the time were you? Because it's the kind of question that might get asked even though you were riding in single file..


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## Dogberry (14 Nov 2011)

deptfordmarmoset said:


> I don't suppose you were riding two abreast at the time were you? Because it's the kind of question that might get asked even though you were riding in single file..




No, a work mate was out in his car over the week-end and came across a large group. 

He knows I do 'the cycling thing' and therefor I am all of us. Taking it for the team I suppose you could call it


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## JDP (14 Nov 2011)

As I normally ride a single speed.....

"That doesn't have any gears!!"

"No, it's a single speed bike"


"How to you get up hills?"

"Push harder"


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## ColinJ (14 Nov 2011)

JDP said:


> As I normally ride a single speed.....
> 
> "That doesn't have any gears!!"
> 
> "No, it's a single speed bike"


I think the correct answer would be _*"Yes it does, but only the one!"* _


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## loops (14 Nov 2011)

Working in the community team

Oh! are you on your bike?

-yep

so what are you going to do about visits?

-what do you mean?

well you haven't got any transport


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## Strick (15 Nov 2011)

4F said:


> To be fair if I cycle my commute is 14 miles however if I went by car the direct route avoiding the town centre is 20 miles


Agreed, but he was refering to me using the same route. To be fair, he is a complete moron.


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## User16625 (15 Nov 2011)

Im often asked how much it cost. I never tell them the truth coz id be labelled as mad! .....more so.


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## Freddyflintstone (24 Nov 2011)

Two lads talking - "Thats not his sports car, you don't cycle to Town (3miles) if you have a car"

Half way to work. Repairing my bike and a guy came out of a house. "How far have you cycled" he said."2miles and 2miles to go to work"."Blimey" he said, "wish I could do that, it's way too far" He works at the same place.


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## NormanD (24 Nov 2011)

Questioner: That's a nice bike, is it new?
Me: No it's over a year old.
Questioner: So it's still new then!
Me: HUH?


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## Mad at urage (24 Nov 2011)

deptfordmarmoset said:


> I don't suppose you were riding two abreast at the time were you? Because it's the kind of question that might get asked even though you were riding in single file..


It isn't a question (so strictly OT) but I was told that I was "riding three in a row" the other day.

Yes, I was riding alone.


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## fimm (24 Nov 2011)

I get people asking to pick up the Brompton on occassion. I'm enthusiastic about it, so I'm happy to let them - they often say they're thinking about getting one.

I was amused by the small girl who was convinced that my flashing red rear light was to make the bike look pretty!


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## lukesdad (24 Nov 2011)

Lukesmum; How much !!!

Lukesdad;


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## palinurus (24 Nov 2011)

When I had a Brompton I was always being asked about it (outside of London anyway). I did loads of folding demos and allowed quite a few people to have a go too (a few people at work have done a lap of the office)


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## Amanda P (25 Nov 2011)

I took my Brompton on the Eurostar once, not long after it started up at Waterloo. I got to the check-in, and the woman there asked me to fold it up before I went through. So I did. She goggled.

"Can you do that again for me please?" she said. I obliged. While I was re-folding it, two French security guys came over to watch.
"Formidable!..." ... "C'est tres practique..." "Can we see zat one more time, monsieur?"

I did get checked in evenutally...


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## captain nemo1701 (25 Nov 2011)

I popped into a petrol station to get a drink,head to toe in cycling kit. When I got to the cash desk, the assistant asked me if I had 'any fuel with that?'.
(subtle clues: bike locked outside, me in cycling kit)
Response (flippant) Yes, I just put five litres of diesel in my front tyre


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## Bman (25 Nov 2011)

captain nemo1701 said:


> I popped into a petrol station to get a drink,head to toe in cycling kit. When I got to the cash desk, the assistant asked me if I had 'any fuel with that?'.
> (subtle clues: bike locked outside, me in cycling kit)
> Response (flippant) Yes, I just put five litres of diesel in my front tyre



I usually reply "This *is* my fuel" then look at the food/drink I am about to buy.


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## craven2354 (15 Sep 2012)

Bump


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## Cyclist33 (15 Sep 2012)

People who don't know any better have taken to calling me "Bradley" in an affectionate manner.

These people aren't, I stress, the many cyclists who invariably drop me every time I go riding.

Stu


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## HLaB (15 Sep 2012)

For commuting in the Flat lands of Eastern England I bought a cheap heavy Viking SS I get asked more questions about that bike than any other bike I've had. Worrying people seem to think its a better bike than it is; I hope thief's dont like wise.


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## Pat "5mph" (15 Sep 2012)

You are not going to cycle it tomorrow, are you? We are starting/finishing at 6am/11pm!


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## marafi (15 Sep 2012)

Have you been hit? Is that why you have a camera? Are you sure you want to cyle to UNi even in the dark? Is it safe for you? Don't you need a new bike? Is it scary to cycle? Have you ever been stopped by police because your on a bike? The worst one was, would people find it strange that ur on a bike well because of what you believe in? Seriously I don't think I ever felt so sorry for a persons' dumbness.

About my bike. How long have you had that bike for? And your not going to get a new one?


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## Bengarbage (15 Sep 2012)

"Your bikes sick man" not a question just a comment by a teen, had to look it up, means good apparently


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## Cress1968 (15 Sep 2012)

I usually get... "how much was that" "is it heavy" and my all time favourite from work colleagues " it's raining .. How will you get home?" .... I've had the last one that many times I just tell them I'm going to sleep in the canteen for the night.. That's usually answered with a " awww bless you" lol


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## craven2354 (15 Sep 2012)

Found this on page 70 something glad I bumped it now


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## HovR (15 Sep 2012)

marafi said:


> About my bike. How long have you had that bike for? And your not going to get a new one?


 
As I predominantly ride two Reynolds Steel bikes ('78 and '83 if I remember correctly) I sometimes get this.

My normal response is something along the lines of "Feel free to buy me one!"


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## defy-one (16 Sep 2012)

Everybody wants to pick Defy up and invariably say "blimey these top end bikes are so cool"
To which i say - this isn't top end but a starter bike


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## Mr Haematocrit (16 Sep 2012)

how much?
usually followed by
are you mad?


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## Andrew_Culture (16 Sep 2012)

Why do you look so terrible when you arrive at work?


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## Cress1968 (16 Sep 2012)

Oh I forgot one.... Usually after asking how much you sometimes get "bloody hell my car was cheaper than that" ... They fail to understand that with insurance, tax and petrol their car has probably cost them more than all the bikes that were in the shop the day I bought mine


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## Hacienda71 (16 Sep 2012)

It is not so much what they say, but the look of total disbelief  when you tell them your fun at the weekend was cycling 60 miles in the hills.


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## Saluki (16 Sep 2012)

defy-one said:


> Everybody wants to pick Defy up and invariably say "blimey these top end bikes are so cool"
> To which i say - this isn't top end but a starter bike


I have had this, quite a few times with my Defy 

One of my customers asked have I ever 'done a bike race'. I told them that I was cycling in the Tour of Britain Challenge Ride that coming weekend (8th Sept this year) and she asked how far. I told her it was 57.2 miles. She looked shocked to the core and asked "so you will be cycling for a couple of weeks then"  Bless her little cotton socks.
When I said that I would be starting at 10am and would finish mid afternoon and THEN I would cycle the 5.5 miles home, she had to have a sit down. She then gave me a stiff talking too about telling stories to people, how I should not wind them up and that it isn't humanly possible to cycle that far in just one day.
I mentioned Brad Wiggins, Mark Cavendish etc, who she had heard of because of the Olympics and how they ride 140 miles a day, every day for 3 weeks with only a couple of days off. Her reply? "Yes dear, but they are MEN".


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## Cyclopathic (16 Sep 2012)

Why don't you get off and milk it?


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## HLaB (16 Sep 2012)

Conversations in the office usually start of: 'Its not fair, how come you can stuff your face but stay thin ?'.


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## craven2354 (16 Sep 2012)

Not a question but as I was riding about today there was a women with her child as I ride past the child shouts look mommy it's an Olympic bike  made my day haha


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## HLaB (16 Sep 2012)

craven2354 said:


> Not a question but as I was riding about today there was a women with her child as I ride past the child shouts look mommy it's an Olympic bike  made my day haha


Kids  I've had ones come up to me on my old mtb orientated hybrid, complete with wide tyre, panniers and mud guards, 'is that a racing bike ?'


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## craven2354 (16 Sep 2012)

HLaB said:


> Kids  I've had ones come up to me on my old mtb orientated hybrid, complete with wide tyre, panniers and mud guards, 'is that a racing bike ?'




This one was a smart kid he knew what he was talking about  haha


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## Sandra6 (16 Sep 2012)

A little girl once said to her dad as I passed " that's an awesome bike" It was my apollo metis complete with shopping basket. Bless her. 
I don't get asked questions but when I tell my friends where I've cycled to -from their response is always "seriously?!"


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## Leaway2 (17 Sep 2012)

I always get the same question and always in the lift. "how far do you cycle (to work)?" reply "7 miles each way" and they always say "oh that's not too bad", Always.
None of them do it though.


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## markharry66 (17 Sep 2012)

How do you balance on such skinny tyres
Why dont you drive
Dont you get more punctures with a racer 
I wouldnt cycle through london its to dangerous do you have many accidents


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## Deleted member 20519 (17 Sep 2012)

"You've broken it again?"


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## Jodee1kenobi (17 Sep 2012)

Mmmmm nice mudguards where do you get them?


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## Deleted member 20519 (17 Sep 2012)

Jodee1kenobi said:


> Mmmmm nice mudguards where do you get them?


 
That's a nice bike! What kind of mudguards are they though?


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## Jodee1kenobi (17 Sep 2012)

jazloc said:


> That's a nice bike! What kind of mudguards are they though?


Thanks  They are aluminium mudguards from MyVelo.co.uk. I think they were about £20. I did a completely girly thing and picked them for the colour rather than thinking about how they would fit on the bike  But thanks to my very extremely helpful (and useful!) husband they now fit perfectly.


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## cyberknight (17 Sep 2012)

Hacienda71 said:


> It is not so much what they say, but the look of total disbelief  when you tell them your fun at the weekend was cycling 60 miles in the hills.


 I hear you , just as bad as " i only had time for a quick 25 mile spin "


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## Jodee1kenobi (18 Sep 2012)

cyberknight said:


> I hear you , just as bad as " i only had time for a quick 25 mile spin "


 
My friends still can't believe I cycle 15 miles just to meet up with them for a coffee and a chat then cycle back! As for sitting next to me in a cafe whilst I am in my cycle attire......I think they are just about getting used to it


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## theFire (18 Sep 2012)

Obviously you get the lift for the same reason as me right? Those damn cleats make the stairs dangerous


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## guitarpete247 (18 Sep 2012)

I used to get funny looks when I cycled in to meet the GF at work for lunch. But it was mainly not wanting to look at my lycra shorts. GF has banned me from going in in Lycra bottoms. I now have baggy shorts and some Hummvees. Just get the standard "How long did it take you?", "Do you want a drink?".
I do get my dad (who used to do a lot of cycling in the '50's but seems to have forgotten what it was like) suggest that I'll kill myself with the physical strain of riding more than 10 miles. He used to think nothing of riding from Doncaster to the Peak District for a day out on an Sturmey Archer 3 speed, steel frame  with friends.


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## Peter Armstrong (18 Sep 2012)

You all get well good questions.

This is my best.


Person: "Did you cycle to work"

Me: "Yes"

Person: "Ow, ok"

No one cares!


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## Mushroomgodmat (18 Sep 2012)

Generally people around me are pretty pro bike...but over the last two years two comments have stuck with me....

"Your mad to cycle on the roads". - Implying it dangerous and practically suicide - this one I get more than any other. My mum still has no idea how far/much I cycle. If I told her I cycle 80-120 miles a week I think she would probably explode!

"cant you afford a car then?" - this one wound me up a little. Not because it implied I was tight with my cash, but because of the guys mentality.


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## sabian92 (18 Sep 2012)

Mushroomgodmat said:


> Generally people around me are pretty pro bike...but over the last two years two comments have stuck with me....
> 
> "Your mad to cycle on the roads". - Implying it dangerous and practically suicide - this one I get more than any other. My mum still has no idea how far/much I cycle. If I told her I cycle 80-120 miles a week I think she would probably explode!
> 
> "cant you afford a car then?" - this one wound me up a little. Not because it implied I was tight with my cash, but because of the guys mentality.


 
I think people who aren't cyclists see massive lorries and the odd "A cyclist was killed today in etc..." and think it's dangerous because that's all they know. I can understand why people think that, to be honest.

As for not being able to afford a car, people look at things different ways. People see bikes in Halfords for 90 quid and think all bikes cost around that. That being said though, it does still imply people are skint in a bit of a rude way although a car is really expensive when you add it all up.

I've not really had many questions although one of my fiancee's friends came round, saw me getting my bike out and did the typical "How do you ride on such skinny tyres? Don't you fall off?"

I was quite tempted to say If I fell off all the time I wouldn't ride on it, because I'm not that stupid. But, I had to bite my tongue and say skinny tyres are better because you go faster instead. 

People always look confused when I say that, so I try and explain it and they walk away. 

I've had a few of my college mates question me about my headcam (genuinely though) and looked like I was a bit mad when I said it was in case somebody knocks me off. They sort of gave me that look of "well, don't ride a bike then...".


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (18 Sep 2012)

The best one to date came from my mother, who had clearly been watching way too much TdF when she asked me if the split in my saddle made it easier to pee whilst cycling whilst on tour. Explaining a split (woman's) saddle to her with tear running down my eyes is still one of those 'classic moments' whilst I was imagining what exactly the hole in the saddle could be used for.
Of this type but not this one...





She now denies all knowledge of the conversation, naturally!


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## Profpointy (18 Sep 2012)

Uncle Phil said:


> Mrs Uncle Phil and I can beat that. She had a contract in Lista, Norway. We cycled there. She had much the same conversation with various people when we got there. It took us two weeks and was about 950 miles. (And it was a fantastic trip). (We didn't do it in one day, though, unlike Colin).
> 
> "You're kidding. You can't cycle from England - you have to fly... don't you?"



Chap in work cycled to India, carrying a huge load of materials from the charity he runs as he did a lecture tour on the way. Think he managed around 100km a day. He only bought the bike a week before, and wasn't a "serious" cyclist as such, though very fit, and very very focussed.

To be strictly acurate he couldn't get a visa to get into pakistan from Iran so had to detour (boat or plane?) - so he did an extra couple of hundred miles in India to make up.

www.cyclingforhumanity.org 

Fair play to him !


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## nathanicola (18 Sep 2012)

A comment i allways get that realy p's me off is when people look at my bike and lift it up saying " Isn't it light, i see how you can ride so far on it now"
I feel like replying "Yeah because i don't have to pedle it, it rides its self"


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## cyberknight (18 Sep 2012)

Jodee1kenobi said:


> My friends still can't believe I cycle 15 miles just to meet up with them for a coffee and a chat then cycle back! As for sitting next to me in a cafe whilst I am in my cycle attire......I think they are just about getting used to it


 
Not strictly cycling , a work mate is training for a marathon at 8 minute mile pace, he did 23 mile run on Sunday .......


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## NotthatJasonKenny (18 Sep 2012)

How does your fat arse fit on that saddle?


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## smokeysmoo (18 Sep 2012)

NotthatJasonKenny said:


> How does your fat arse fit on that saddle?


+1


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## Andrew_Culture (19 Sep 2012)

Peter Armstrong said:


> You all get well good questions.
> 
> This is my best.
> 
> ...



They really don't! If they ask to be polite, and you actually answer they look like a drummer doing arithmetic!


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## byegad (20 Sep 2012)

Do you feel safe down there?
Is it comfortable?
Did you make it yourself?
How do you steer?
How much did it cost?
Can I have a go?....Please!

But I ride well designed bikes, three wheels and recumbent.


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## Saluki (21 Sep 2012)

A chap at my church group took one look at my bike this week and said "is that a modern bike? where are the gears?, isn't it light! Can I have a go?"
He had a go, up and down the road and is now considering getting back into cycling if he can have a new toy like mine


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