# You know you're a cyclist when...



## sazzaa (24 Sep 2013)

Sweat used to bother you and now you cycle through cow muck without a second thought (I've just done this)
You find yourself eyeing up bikes instead of the people on them
You wish you worked further away just to have a longer/nicer route
You only check the weather forecast for wind
You become an expert on the non-existance of 'road tax'

(There may be a thread like this already but I can't be arsed looking)


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (24 Sep 2013)

When other cyclists don't wave back at your every greeting


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## HLaB (24 Sep 2013)

When you have a bike and you use it.


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## Deleted member 23692 (24 Sep 2013)

I am not a cyclist, I am a free man


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## ianrauk (24 Sep 2013)

You spend ages on internet cycling shopping sites looking for something to buy even though you don't really need anything.


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## biggs682 (24 Sep 2013)

and you have at least 3 roadworthy bikes along with a couple that are not


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## The Brewer (24 Sep 2013)

More Lycra than cotton in your wardrobe


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## PaulSecteur (24 Sep 2013)

You spend more on a bike tyre than you do on your cars.


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## wisdom (24 Sep 2013)

You walk funny in funny shoes.
Dress in tight clothing whatever shape you are.
Wear sunglasses when its not sunny.
Wear shorts when its certainly too cold.
People at work haven't a clue what you are on about when you discuss your ride to work.
You have an expensive car in the drive but go to work on a bike whatever the weather.
You are always happy .
The list is not extensive but it sums up a part of me.


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## wisdom (24 Sep 2013)

Well its expensive to me but 3 years old now.


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## paul04 (24 Sep 2013)

You spend more time cleaning the bike than cleaning the car,

Thinking of better excuses for the other half, so you can go out on the bike (when I was decorating, I said I was going out on the bike while the paint was drying)


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## dave r (24 Sep 2013)

We've covered this before. If you ride a bike your a cyclist.


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## Hill Wimp (24 Sep 2013)

You mention cadence and your work mates look blank and then one says " so you are into classical music are you ?"


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## Andrew_P (24 Sep 2013)

When you stroke your top tube with affection....



Oh its only me then!


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## Simmer (24 Sep 2013)

dave r said:


> We've covered this before. If you ride a bike your a cyclist.



You make grumpy posts in a funny thread


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## ianrauk (24 Sep 2013)

You give your bike another going over with the Mr Sheen....when you already did an hour or so before.


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## DRHysted (24 Sep 2013)

Andrew_P said:


> When you stroke your top tube with affection....



I tend to pat the saddle!


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## Hill Wimp (24 Sep 2013)

You enjoy cleaning your chain

This has definitely only developed since i got my road bike.


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## Judderz (24 Sep 2013)

Hill Wimp said:


> You enjoy cleaning your chain



That's OCD, not enjoyment!


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## Koga (24 Sep 2013)

When you are grumpy because you can't go out on your regular Saturday morning spin ....


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## Mattonsea (24 Sep 2013)

When you cant think of nufin else


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## Supersuperleeds (24 Sep 2013)

ianrauk said:


> You give your bike another going over with the Mr Sheen....when you already did an hour or so before.



That's just you 

You know you're a cyclist when the round trip to and from work is 10 miles but you regularly do 50 miles - or is that you just can't read a map?


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## markharry66 (24 Sep 2013)

when others at work who dont cycle mention how good spinning classes are you mention your daily cycle they look bemused.


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## DooDah (24 Sep 2013)

When you get your bike out of the garage and wipe the frame with your hand and say "bloody dust", only to find a voice behind you saying "bloody dickhead, you love that bike more than me"


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## screenman (24 Sep 2013)

When your rear mech is aligned properly.

Just realised this is my 50th year of being a bike owner.


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## Hip Priest (24 Sep 2013)

I realised I was a cyclist earlier today when I removed the reliable old tyres from my commuter and found myself thanking them.

I also realised I was a weirdo.


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## DooDah (24 Sep 2013)

screenman said:


> When your rear mech is aligned properly.
> 
> Just realised this is my 50th year of being a bike owner.


Careful, @Adrian will be along in a minute


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## screenman (24 Sep 2013)




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## Pat "5mph" (24 Sep 2013)

When folks at work stop asking "did you cycle in today" start asking "where did you park the bike?"


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## Kies (24 Sep 2013)

When you open the curtains, look at the maserati and still think "bike" !


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## Shut Up Legs (24 Sep 2013)

If your driveway's always empty.

_(well, mine is, anyway, as I've never had a driver's licence)_


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## Sillyoldman (24 Sep 2013)

You finally perfect the amount of chamois cream needed for a one scoop only application so you don't have to double dip back into the tub.


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## Kies (24 Sep 2013)

You walk past every public bike racks and look for bike porn, in your lycra!


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## uphillstruggler (25 Sep 2013)

when it is sheeting down with rain in the evening and you say to yourself 'I would have played football in that and enjoyed it'

you go out on the bike and enjoy it more


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## Linford (25 Sep 2013)

Kies said:


> When you open the curtains, look at the maserati and still think "bike" !



You have a Maserati ?


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## James10 (25 Sep 2013)




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## Linford (25 Sep 2013)

You swing a leg over it and go somewhere on it. The description is only really applicable when you are on it.
For instance, I cycle commuted today on my cycle, and am a cyclist today, yesterday, I took the motorcycle so was a motorcylist, tomorrow, I may take the car so will be a driver.
ATM I'm sat at a desk so am not a cyclist but an office worker...not a cyclist

All the 'but you're not a real cyclist' comments are just misleading tripe. 

If I really want to pigeonhole, real cyclists ride because they enjoy it, not because they want to make some statement to their peers about their green credentials.


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## akb (25 Sep 2013)

....you daren't write the word PUNCTURE on a forum. Instead you use a word full of ********s


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## Idoru (25 Sep 2013)

When you're full of a cold,coughing up half a lung every few minutes but still find yourself looking through the window at the wind and rain thinking "just a quick jaunt around the block to keep the legs loose...."


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## Luddite Joe (25 Sep 2013)

You find yourself reading a thread entitled "You know you're a cyclist when..."


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## Dmcd33 (25 Sep 2013)

You have a bag full of spare bike parts/bits that other people wouldn't have clue what they were for and you become obsessed with how 'Tru' your wheels are!


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## on the road (25 Sep 2013)

When you have funny tan lines.


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## ComedyPilot (25 Sep 2013)

.....when you are never likely to kill someone when travelling through their community


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## Kies (25 Sep 2013)

Linford said:


> You have a Maserati ?



A matchbox version and I leave it on my driveway


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## Cycling Dan (25 Sep 2013)

As I have now found driving a car and still avoiding potholes.


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## Kies (25 Sep 2013)

When your sitting at home the evening before and planning tommorows commute route into the capital!


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## Cyclist33 (25 Sep 2013)

When you openly commentate live on your own rides.


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## DooDah (25 Sep 2013)

Cyclist33 said:


> When you openly commentate live on your own rides.


LOL, I have done that without realising, normally on steep hills and I don't think the commentary would be acceptable on ITV4


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## PaulSB (25 Sep 2013)

When your shorts are the most expensive item in your wardrobe.........

........I have a thing about Assos bibs


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## DooDah (25 Sep 2013)

PaulSB said:


> When your shorts are the most expensive item in your wardrobe.........
> 
> ........I have a thing about Assos bibs


Too much information


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## Kies (25 Sep 2013)

When you clean your bike more than the car


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## Cyclist33 (25 Sep 2013)

When you recklessly swap parts across your range of bikes, spoiling them all in the process.


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## nappadang (25 Sep 2013)

You can talk with grown men about getting "lubed up" without so much as a hint of innuendo.


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## Kies (25 Sep 2013)

When looking at a pretty girls bike is more important than her :whistle


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## Pat "5mph" (25 Sep 2013)

Kies said:


> When looking at a pretty girls bike is more important than her :whistle


Bike NOT more important than handsome man riding it


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## Accy cyclist (26 Sep 2013)

When you wear a cycle jersey down the pub,hoping that someone will talk about bikes.
When you overtake a cyclist while driving, then indicate left to pull in safely.


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## MickeyBlueEyes (26 Sep 2013)

You start work at 8am but you get up at 4:30 to give you the chance of some decent miles.....


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## uclown2002 (26 Sep 2013)

Your box from online retailer arrives and you can't remember what you actually ordered!


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## akb (26 Sep 2013)

...you have multiple packs of Haribo in the back of the cupboard somewhere.


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## PaulSecteur (26 Sep 2013)

...When people start bringing bikes round for you to "look at" (Read Fix) and you do you best but after all it is a Sports direct special made of a special blend of lead and cheese with the forks on backwards.


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## oldfatfool (26 Sep 2013)

Kies said:


> A matchbox version and I leave it on my driveway



My daughter of step bought me one of those for xmas a couple of years ago. Tight mare, could have been a full size one


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## wait4me (26 Sep 2013)

When a mate tells you he bonked last night and gives you a funny look when you ask him what bike has he got


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## uclown2002 (26 Sep 2013)

When you fill you bike pack with house bricks just to make the hills tougher................


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## ShipHill (26 Sep 2013)

When you're stood at the clock-card machine at work waiting for the clock to hit 5pm and all your jovial work colleagues insist on making hilarious comments about your footwear, legwear, jacket, helmet, rucksack or anything else... and they insist on making the same remarks every day for years on end.


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## swansonj (26 Sep 2013)

Kies said:


> When looking at a pretty girls bike is more important than her :whistle


An engineering student on campus met another one pushing a brand new bike. Where did you get that? he asked.

The other one explained: Yesterday, this beautiful girl cycled up to me on it, threw it down, ripped off all her clothes, and said "take whatever you want from me!"

Good call, said the first, her clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway.


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## tribanjules (26 Sep 2013)

when yr favourite smell is GT85


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## mark c (26 Sep 2013)

When you go on a Family holiday in France and manage to visit Tourmalet, Aubisque,Ventoux !


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## DooDah (26 Sep 2013)

mark c said:


> When you go on a Family holiday in France and manage to visit Tourmalet, Aubisque,Ventoux !


Is that visit, drive up, cycle up or just visit and dream of cycling up like me


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## TheDoctor (26 Sep 2013)

When you partner says they might go away without you for a week, and you start plotting a Brompton ride round Provence.
Well, the Brommie is the easiest bike to get on Eurostar and a TGV...


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## Shut Up Legs (26 Sep 2013)

tribanjules said:


> when yr favourite smell is GT85


I tend to prefer citrus degreaser, myself .


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## Octet (26 Sep 2013)

When you're male and it no longer bothers you when your friends laugh at the fact you wear cycling _tights._


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## Shut Up Legs (26 Sep 2013)

... when all the door handles (and surrounds) in your house keep showing grease stains (because somehow the stuff just keeps following you around);

... when every purchase is carefully calculated to leave as little coin weight remaining in your wallet as possible (because weight = calories expended);

... when your major concern with Melbourne's AFL Grand Final (parade is today, final is tomorrow) is "how the hell am I going to ride past all those pedestrians?".


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## _aD (26 Sep 2013)

"Why is there a bicycle in your wardrobe?"


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## Frood42 (27 Sep 2013)

... you enjoy riding into a headwind


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## Mo1959 (27 Sep 2013)

Frood42 said:


> ... you enjoy riding into a headwind


Oh heck......I am definitely not a cyclist yet then. Bloomin detest cycling into the wind.


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## s7ephanie (27 Sep 2013)

when you are happy to run out of something, so you have a reason to cycle to the shops


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## Dmcd33 (27 Sep 2013)

*When you realise that there is a slight residue in your water bottle and decide it probably needs more than a rinse.
*When you calculate how much time you'll have at the weekend to give the bike a bit of maintenence.
*When you arrange your holidays around how much riding you'll be able to do


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (27 Sep 2013)

... going commando feels normal
... you arrive somewhere to realise you have left your underwear at home (again)
... you have to explain why you have more than 1 bike
... you have to decide which of your 2 bikes you are taking on holiday and which one stays at home simply because you can only get 4 bikes in the car, not all 6 (OH is a cyclist as well - I tried the I'll take my 3 which 1 do you want approach - didn't work.
... people look at you strangely when you explain it only takes 30 mins longer to cycle the 25 miles than it does to drive it
... you don't care you look like a drowned rat, you had a great ride


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## IainC (27 Sep 2013)

When your other half asks, for the seventeenth day in a row "why is your bike still in the kitchen?"...

And your reply is "Just another couple of things that need fixing, I'll do it tonight" but actually it's because you don't want your spockets getting all cold and damp outside


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (27 Sep 2013)

additionally...

... the first thing people say to you when you walk through the door, is to point out where the shower's are...
... you won't leave your bike where you leave your car
... your bike & cycling kit costs more than your car does
... your christmas wish list reads more like {insert cycling shop website of choice} catalogue


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## Hill Wimp (27 Sep 2013)

When you arrange everything else around your cycling plans.


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (27 Sep 2013)

OK final entry from me (unless you all out vote me)

... you find yourself navigating in the car using the national cycle route signs rather than road sign posts  (yep, done it!)


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## TheDoctor (27 Sep 2013)

_aD said:


> "Why is there a bicycle in your wardrobe?"



In the wardrobe, the bathroom, leaning on the end of the bed...


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## Accy cyclist (28 Sep 2013)

When you visit bike shops selling very expensive bikes,(like the ones i saw yesterday...3 and a half grand),and you take photos on your phone of those bikes. Then sit at home looking at them again and again.


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## Hill Wimp (28 Sep 2013)

When every time you go anywhere near your bike you have to touch it or tweek something on it.


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## ianrauk (28 Sep 2013)

You sit in a chair in the conservatory just looking at the bike.


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## Cyclopathic (28 Sep 2013)

nappadang said:


> You can talk with grown men about getting "lubed up" without so much as a hint of innuendo.


Never gonna happen. I'm afraid there is a part of my sense of humour that never developed past the age of 14 and as such I am now a fully grown man with a pathetic inability not to find innuendo in absolutely anything. Wheels are a nightmare with all the nipples and flanges not to mention the "rim". Even if I keep a straight face in the conversation if somebody mentions lube there will always be a part of me sniggering on the inside.


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## Whiskey88 (28 Sep 2013)

When you hear "that really f*ing hurt" straight after you've high-fived a drunken student on campus whilst whizzing past without slowing for the impact.


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## Hill Wimp (28 Sep 2013)

You have more bags that are for cycling than you do handbags, its getting close now, never ever thought that would happen !


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (28 Sep 2013)

When you carry the scars of a crash


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## dave r (28 Sep 2013)

SatNavSaysStraightOn said:


> OK final entry from me (unless you all out vote me)
> 
> ... you find yourself navigating in the car using the national cycle route signs rather than road sign posts  (yep, done it!)



Since I've had the car I've driven a roundabout that I cycle often, and have had to remember to exit it on the road not the bus lane as I do on the bike.


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## Rickshaw Phil (28 Sep 2013)

T.M.H.N.E.T said:


> When you carry the scars of a crash


 And/or from maintenance of the bike.


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## uclown2002 (28 Sep 2013)

That feeling of despondency when you see other cyclists out riding, when you can't get out.


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## Hill Wimp (28 Sep 2013)

When you take the last 2 weeks of the TDF off work, get up early every day cycle for 4-5 hours come back and watch ITV4 and their daily coverage and probably the highlights too.


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (28 Sep 2013)

Hill Wimp said:


> When you take the last 2 weeks of the TDF off work, get up early every day cycle for 4-5 hours come back and watch ITV4 and their daily coverage and probably the highlights too.


Done that


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## Hill Wimp (28 Sep 2013)

T.M.H.N.E.T said:


> Done that



My pen is poised to do it again next year, as soon as i can book it off i will.


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (28 Sep 2013)

Hill Wimp said:


> My pen is poised to do it again next year, as soon as i can book it off i will.


Done that months ago, and a majorca training trip and a few days either side of Giro '14


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## Hill Wimp (28 Sep 2013)

T.M.H.N.E.T said:


> Done that months ago, and a majorca training trip and a few days either side of Giro '14



Is that the Stephen Roche one ?


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## coco69 (28 Sep 2013)

ianrauk said:


> You spend ages on internet cycling shopping sites looking for something to buy even though you don't really need anything.


. Wow how true is that lol


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## phil_hg_uk (28 Sep 2013)

Hill Wimp said:


> My pen is poised to do it again next year, as soon as i can book it off i will.



The TDF is coming to me this time


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## uclown2002 (28 Sep 2013)

phil_hg_uk said:


> The TDF is coming to me this time


And me


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## T.M.H.N.E.T (28 Sep 2013)

Hill Wimp said:


> Is that the Stephen Roche one ?


Club organised


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## Pat "5mph" (28 Sep 2013)

When you know you never ever ever gonna take the bus again, so, while clothes shopping, you try to find stuff you can wear to go out with that does not crease under waterproofs


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## Cyclopathic (29 Sep 2013)

You know you're a cyclist because you fall over when you stop.


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## vernon (29 Sep 2013)

I know that I'm a cyclist when I'm on my bike. The rest of time I'm not a bore.


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## BigonaBianchi (29 Sep 2013)

When I miss the early.morning.club ride and spend all morning.feeling guilty


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## uclown2002 (29 Sep 2013)

When you upload your Garmin activity before you take your kit off............


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## Phoenix Lincs (29 Sep 2013)

uclown2002 said:


> When you upload your Garmin activity before you take your kit off............



Not just me then!


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## SamC (29 Sep 2013)

When you have to sort through your drawers of clothes and decide what to throw out because you can't fit your 6th pair of padded tights in.


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## sazzaa (30 Sep 2013)

When it suddenly becomes acceptable to keep your bike right next to your desk at work, whether your boss likes it or not


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## Archie_tect (30 Sep 2013)

vernon said:


> I know that I'm a cyclist when I'm on my bike. The rest of time I'm not a bore.


.... that's a completely different conversation Vern.


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## Kookas (30 Sep 2013)

When you instantly recognise the sound of a freewheel, over the sound of buses and cars, from your 2nd floor bedroom window, on the other side of the road...


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## uclown2002 (30 Sep 2013)

When you are mentally plotting tomorrow's ride......................without having finished today's ride!


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## Stonechat (30 Sep 2013)

You start sorting through drawers, to sort out clothes to throw away, so that you have more room for cycling clothes


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## CafGriff (30 Sep 2013)

Yr next years holiday consists of you, your bike a tent, a map, a plan which includes The LEJoG's ... without the husband!!!


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## nappadang (30 Sep 2013)

When you stop saying "there's no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing" and realise that wind is a nightmare no matter what you wear.


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## CafGriff (30 Sep 2013)

PLUS!! You drool over bike panniers for the said trip!!


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## Teuchter (30 Sep 2013)

...when non cycling colleagues talk to you about the TDF they saw last night on TV because as a cyclist, you MUST know all about it. My response - I didn't watch it... I was out on my bike.


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## Stonechat (30 Sep 2013)

Remember getting back to the gite on hols in France. We have internet access though no tv so managed to watch the end of the days stages on my tablet.
Managed to get this every day we were there
(Edit) Only one day's cycling in France on hired bbike though am i letting the side down?)


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## uclown2002 (1 Oct 2013)

1 Your feeling of excitement* when riding an unknown route and you stumble upon a significant hill.
* substitute with another appropriate word if you wish 

2 You are nearly home and you consider whether you have enough time to squeeze in another 5/10/20 miles

3 That tinge of disappointment when you cut short your planned route to get home earlier.


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## RWright (1 Oct 2013)

When you sell all your motor vehicles.

If there were some sort of reasonable backup form of transportation here besides taxis (and in my town, taxis being reliable is debatable) I would do it I think. I just can't quite make myself do it. Things are just a little too spread out.


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## Phoenix Lincs (2 Oct 2013)

When you are sat on the sofa wearing cycle gear under dog-walking gear (back from a dry dog walk), drinking coffee, listening to the rain that's now hammering down and deciding that I'll need a shower when I get back anyway so why not go for a quick half hour spin around the block as I won't shrink will I?


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## Hill Wimp (2 Oct 2013)

When you get back from your ride, sort your syncing out for said ride details, make a cup of tea, sit down and log onto CC and 2 hours later you still haven't had a shower !

Edit - Upload your photos ready for "Your ride today" post


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## Stonechat (2 Oct 2013)

Stop outside uploading your ride. Come straight inside to the computer to look at the stats of the ride before doing anything else
EDIT - evenn before coffee or anything else


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## EltonFrog (2 Oct 2013)

...when a neighbour asks if you of you can have a quick look at thier bike, ' cos the gears are jumping.


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## EltonFrog (2 Oct 2013)

...when you have an essential cycle tool that you bought years ago that has never been out of the packet.


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## Bryony (2 Oct 2013)

Accy cyclist said:


> When you visit bike shops selling very expensive bikes,(like the ones i saw yesterday...3 and a half grand),and you take photos on your phone of those bikes. Then sit at home looking at them again and again.


Haha I've done this!! Glad it's not just me!!


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## EltonFrog (2 Oct 2013)

...when in March you are happy because it's not getting dark until 7pm and you are fed up in October because it gets dark at 7pm.


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## pumpadave (3 Oct 2013)

You get excited about a new rear mech lol


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## ianrauk (3 Oct 2013)

pumpadave said:


> You get excited about a new rear mech lol




Or even Ti bolts...


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## Bryony (3 Oct 2013)

pumpadave said:


> You get excited about a new rear mech lol


Saddo!! (I'm allowed to say that he's my fiancé!)


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## tribanjules (3 Oct 2013)

Bryony said:


> Haha I've done this!! Glad it's not just me!!


 did that before I bought my cx !!


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## EltonFrog (3 Oct 2013)

...when you spend three hours on the Internet looking at saddles.


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## Kies (3 Oct 2013)

When you spend 4 days looking at Bromptons


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## simon.r (3 Oct 2013)

When you check the current bid on a frame on Ebay 6 times a day. And the auction still has 2 days to run.


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## nappadang (4 Oct 2013)

When you're sick as a dog (like I am now) and the only thing that bothers you is the fact that your bike is sitting gathering dust .


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## tyred (4 Oct 2013)

When you can no longer fit the the car into the garage because it's full of bikes.

When you use a worn Regina freewheel block as a door stop for the kitchen door.


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## Phoenix Lincs (5 Oct 2013)

simon.r said:


> When you check the current bid on a frame on Ebay 6 times a day. And the auction still has 2 days to run.


Has it finished yet? Did you get it?


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## Bay Runner (5 Oct 2013)

When your work colleagues believe you can't drive because they have never seen you behind the wheel of a car


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## Kies (5 Oct 2013)

When you only eat from jersey pockets and drink tea/water/beer from a bidon!


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## pumpadave (5 Oct 2013)

When your living room,bedroom, dad's garage and work you either have bikes or bike parts scattered around


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## simon.r (6 Oct 2013)

Phoenix Lincs said:


> Has it finished yet? Did you get it?



Yes and yes

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/CHARGE-BI...OAD-TOURING-LARGE-700C-BLUE-NEW-/271285084552


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## nappadang (6 Oct 2013)

When you take to the saddle as soon as you feel the first signs of a recovery from 4 days of sickasadogitus (see previous post). Only to ride for 15 mins and discover you're still as weak as water, then return to home and face the "I told you so" craic from the wife, but still feel good that you've spun the peddles a few times.


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## Dmcd33 (17 Oct 2013)

When you have bike oil on your light switches!


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## Stonechat (17 Oct 2013)

When you haven't ridden for over a week but still planning n+1


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## Alan Frame (17 Oct 2013)

when your car comes back from the annual MOT and you notice you've cycled 2.5 times the mileage you've driven in your car.


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## Brannigan (18 Oct 2013)

When you actually feel like a complete jerk for driving the car to work on a cold snowy day... even though your snow bike got more attention yesterday than your wife.


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## Joey Shabadoo (18 Oct 2013)

When a company offers to fly you over to Ireland for an interview and your first thought is "can't take the bike then"


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## nappadang (18 Oct 2013)

When painful thigh and calf muscles makes you feel happy.


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## PaulSecteur (18 Oct 2013)

...when you have the chainwheel tattoo in your calf more often than not.


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## derrick (18 Oct 2013)

When you have covered over 5000 miles and still going strong. what winter.


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## uberguru (18 Oct 2013)

When you study the met office website to see the direction the prevailing wind so that you can plan either a harder or faster training route.


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## PaulSecteur (18 Oct 2013)

...when you look to buy a new car and your first question is "Can I get my bike in the back of that?"

And you second question is "If I get a cheaper car... Can I get Di2?"


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## Hill Wimp (18 Oct 2013)

PaulSecteur said:


> ...when you look to buy a new car and your first question is "Can I get my bike in the back of that?"



I took my bike to the garage and made sure i could get it in.


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## Bryony (18 Oct 2013)

PaulSecteur said:


> ...when you have the chainwheel tattoo in your calf more often than not.


I'm actually considering getting it tattoo'd on as no matter how much I scrub in the bath there is still a faint mark there!


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## Brannigan (19 Oct 2013)

Cyclist33 said:


> When you openly commentate live on your own rides.


 That is how superheroes got famous. Take Batman, for example. "Kapow!"


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## User6179 (19 Oct 2013)

Your sitting looking at weather forecast and waiting for daylight to appear at 7am


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## winjim (19 Oct 2013)

Eddy said:


> Your sitting looking at weather forecast and waiting for daylight to appear at 7am


Or, you're looking forward to it getting cold wet and dark so you can try out your new lights and waterproofs.


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## uclown2002 (19 Oct 2013)

akb said:


> ...you have multiple packs of Haribo in the back of the cupboard somewhere.



Not for me. Those sweets are demolished before I even look at the product I ordered.


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## jayonabike (19 Oct 2013)

When your spare room doesn't have a bed in it any more, the wardrobe in the spare room is full of cycling clobber, the window sill/ shelf is littered with various tools, adjustable spanners, spare inner tubes, and there is no spare room in the spare room as it is filled with bikes.


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (19 Oct 2013)

jayonabike said:


> When your spare room doesn't have a bed in it any more, the wardrobe in the spare room is full of cycling clobber, the window sill/ shelf is littered with various tools, adjustable spanners, spare inner tubes, and there is no spare room in the spare room as it is filled with bikes.


 Sounds like you are describing our spare bedroom... (not to mention half of the kitchen & dinning room as well)...


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## Stonechat (19 Oct 2013)

When you have a 20-30 year old bike in the garage cant bear to get rid of it in case I might do it up


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## Phoenix Lincs (20 Oct 2013)

When you see a review for winter gloves in a mag and hit google, then 'add to basket' in a matter of moments. Oops, sorry hubby. Who needs food shopping anyway????


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## Shut Up Legs (20 Oct 2013)

... when you get to work and read the cycling forums before the news sites.


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## dave r (20 Oct 2013)

When your coming back from a ride with fifty miles under the wheels and your thinking "I haven't done much today", then you start planning a fresh loop.


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## Joey Shabadoo (20 Oct 2013)

When you haven't been out on the bike and you feel guilty.


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## uclown2002 (26 Oct 2013)

You can anticipate the potholes on your well-travelled routes.
Your legs seem to be at least a little stiff EVERY day.
You spend an inordinate amount of time looking at weather websites.
You want a new bike; you tell yourself you 'need' a new bike; so you post on cyclechat in the expectation that almost everyone will cite the n+ 1 rule, providing the encouragement you seek.


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## nappadang (26 Oct 2013)

You get grief off your wife because the only question you ask the family you're about to visit is whether they have a bike I can borrow.
Can't transport mine so I thought this was a perfectly reasonable question to ask people I've only ever met twice. The black eye and Broken nose would suggest I may be wrong.


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## alecstilleyedye (26 Oct 2013)

you ride with club mates in the dark, on a training ride…


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## Thomk (26 Oct 2013)

You have one glove for sweat and the other for snot.


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## alecstilleyedye (26 Oct 2013)

Thomk said:


> You have one glove for sweat and the other for snot.


or a snotty forehead


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## totallyfixed (26 Oct 2013)

When you drive several hundred miles to race up a hill that looks ridiculously hard, will last less than 11 minutes, the weather forecast is dire and when it is over you are checking the date for next year's bit of masochistic torture.


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## Jefferson Meriwether (27 Oct 2013)

When a house move is on the cards and, rather than want to move to the town where you work, you want to move to a town that's further away from where you work than where you currently live so that you have a longer commute.


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## EltonFrog (27 Oct 2013)

Stonechat said:


> When you have a 20-30 year old bike in the garage cant bear to get rid of it in case I might do it up



When you've got a 45 year old bike in the shed that you have done up, spent far to much money on, will never recoup the investment in a billion years and you don't know what to do with it now it's finished. I don't know anyone like that.


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## lee1980sim (27 Oct 2013)

Luddite Joe said:


> You find yourself reading a thread entitled "You know you're a cyclist when..."


And checking which things you do


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## Albert (27 Oct 2013)

.......when at the first sign of rain you head for the nearest café to consume an extra large water-absorbing sponge cake.


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## Supersuperleeds (27 Oct 2013)

Thomk said:


> You have one glove for sweat and the other for snot.



Palm for glasses, back of glove for nose is my mantra


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## LimeBurn (27 Oct 2013)

I'm glad you posted this, I knew I was a cyclist when my wife slapped me for looking at a pretty lady in snug lycra, the thing was I'd not even noticed it was a female I was just admiring the carbon she was on.


sazzaa said:


> Sweat used to bother you and now you cycle through cow muck without a second thought (I've just done this)
> You find yourself eyeing up bikes instead of the people on them
> You wish you worked further away just to have a longer/nicer route
> You only check the weather forecast for wind
> ...


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## uclown2002 (28 Oct 2013)

You feel slightly cheated when you dress in all your wet weather gear -some of it new- for the anticipated downpours, only for it not to fing rain!


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## LimeBurn (28 Oct 2013)

CarlP said:


> When you've got a 45 year old bike in the shed that you have done up, spent far to much money on, will never recoup the investment in a billion years and you don't know what to do with it now it's finished. I don't know anyone like that.


I know someone like that...........Me!!!


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## Dmcd33 (30 Oct 2013)

When you get a great sense of satisfaction at "tweaking" and "cleaning" your Bike. Especially on that first ride out in the morning to work when the gears are smooth and everything is doing what it should (no creaks, cleats clip in nicely!)


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## sazzaa (31 Mar 2014)

You get turned on by the smell of GT85


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## BrumJim (1 Apr 2014)

When you check the weather forecast for tomorrow, you only notice the wind speed and direction.

Used to do a regular ride home from work of some distance (once every week or two). Living South West from work, last thing we wanted was to be battling the wind all the way. Hence checking the weather forecast to pick a suitable day would be based more on wind direction than rain.


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## Hitchington (1 Apr 2014)

Complete strangers comment on what a great tush you've got


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## LimeBurn (1 Apr 2014)

I'm obviously not a cyclist yet!!


Hitchington said:


> Complete strangers comment on what a great tush you've got


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## i hate hills (2 Apr 2014)

You know you're a cyclist when you actually go out on your bike and post in "your ride today".......


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## Frood42 (2 Apr 2014)

BrumJim said:


> When you check the weather forecast for tomorrow, you only notice the wind speed and direction.
> 
> Used to do a regular ride home from work of some distance (once every week or two). Living South West from work, last thing we wanted was to be battling the wind all the way. Hence checking the weather forecast to pick a suitable day would be based more on wind direction than rain.



I check for wind speed and direction (including gusts), so when I head for home/work I know how long it will roughly take me, and so I can prepare myself for spinning into the headwinds, which seemed to be most of this past winter..!
.


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## Shut Up Legs (2 Apr 2014)

BrumJim said:


> When you check the weather forecast for tomorrow, you only notice the wind speed and direction.


Actually, I pay no attention to wind speed and direction when checking the weather forecast before any ride. All I care about is how much rain there will be, so I can decide if shoe covers and mudguards are warranted or not. Apart from that, the weather is irrelevant to my rides (or at least the commuting ones).


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## Luddite Joe (27 Nov 2014)

I had one of my wisdom teeth taken out this week, and my first thought as the dentist showed me my sorry looking tooth, was 'I wonder how much of a weight saving that is?'

Sad, but true.


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## shouldbeinbed (27 Nov 2014)

When you get told a jumped up torch is £140 and you don't immediately think how f@#*ing much.


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## BigonaBianchi (27 Nov 2014)

When your Dad asks you what you want for Christmas and you answer, " nothing really, Ive got all I need for my bike"


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## Gravity Aided (27 Nov 2014)

When you see the Black Friday Sale at your LBS as the main holiday of the year. (I have a ticket to get in at 8 a.m.).


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## Dave 123 (27 Nov 2014)

Gravity Aided said:


> When you see the Black Friday Sale at your LBS as the main holiday of the year. (I have a ticket to get in at 8 a.m.).




A ticket?


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## User16625 (27 Nov 2014)

Certain parts of your anatomy is larger than typical motorists. Such as your legs.


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## screenman (27 Nov 2014)

When you enjoy intervals on the turbo when you can only just stop yourself from throwing up, close one tonight I must admit.


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## Stonechat (28 Nov 2014)

When the week ahead is measure by it's likelihood for rides, or when you have a busy week, you fret over how you are going to fit rides in


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## Joshua Plumtree (28 Nov 2014)

You know you're a cyclist when the reason you delete your browser history after every 'session' is so mrs Plumtree doesn't see all the gorgeous looking frames you've been drooling over online.


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## martinclive (28 Nov 2014)

Gravity Aided said:


> When you see the Black Friday Sale at your LBS as the main holiday of the year. (I have a ticket to get in at 8 a.m.).


We don't have Black Friday in UK as we do not celebrate Thanksgiving and that would be ridiculous fo us to have it without that

Oh wait - my mistake - clearly


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## Gravity Aided (28 Nov 2014)

Yes, just have Black Friday, retailers (those not actually working in retail) love it ! Sure, you've got to give people a couple of days off, but it's considered vital, for some reason, over here. Due to the bushels of money people make from it. I remember my employees complaining about Black Friday, until I showed them how much they had made for themselves that day. I ran photographic stores for many years. Black Friday results would often provide us enough money to get through January and February, then in March people would start taking more pictures and our regular income would take back over. In our case, we had lots of equipment buying and lots of film processing going on, until the day or two after Christmas, then all would drop to nothing.


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## Gravity Aided (28 Nov 2014)

Dave 123 said:


> A ticket?


Yes. My LBS sends out a ticket via the post. It has the schedule as to when prices change. 8-10 is 25% off, 10-12 is 15% off, 12-2 is 10% off. I'll show up at 8:00, because I've been putting off buying some cycling shoes until now, because they are quite expensive. EUR 49-50 size cycling shoes aren't just everywhere, either.


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## DWiggy (28 Nov 2014)

you fettle until your bike is whisper silent!


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## bpsmith (28 Nov 2014)

You look for a new casual shirt and it has to be bike related in some way.

The missus has just treated me to the Ted Baker Bikegeo shirt for Chrimbo.


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## Gravity Aided (28 Nov 2014)

Score!
Bontraeger Solstice Road shoes, spd, size EU 48. UK 13.5, US 14.5


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## Arrowfoot (28 Nov 2014)

- when sex comes a distant second
- when a family holiday has an hidden agenda that involves a borrowed bike 
- when your latest quarrel with the other half involves cycling
- when you line up next to a HGV in a turning lane
- and you ride off at the same time and speed of the HGV


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## Stonechat (29 Nov 2014)

Arrowfoot said:


> - when sex comes a distant second
> - when a family holiday has an hidden agenda that involves a borrowed bike
> - when your latest quarrel with the other half involves cycling
> - when you line up next to a HGV in a turning lane
> - and you ride off at the same time and speed of the HGV


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## Hyslop (29 Nov 2014)

When you giggle at the sort of clothing some people wear to drive a car.


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## S.Giles (29 Nov 2014)

...you cycle 37 miles even though _you have the return part of a train ticket in your pocket_!

(Yes, I've done it.)

Steve


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