# Malham Cove, or How I Got Slung Out Of Bradford University CC.



## 661-Pete (15 Feb 2011)

OK don't blame me for this one. Carefree 1970s, once again, the time when I thought I knew it all and thought I could do it all. And I was better on hills then, than I am now! 

So. Once again, I was pootling one fine day, a few hundred yards from my digs, on my spanking brand-new Pennine, 531 framed road bike. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by a bunch of roadies, wearing team colours I thought I recognised...

I stopped. Pleasantries began. "Nice bike." "Thanks," I mumbled. A few friendly comments about the bikes, where had I been, where had they been, etc., then someone piped up "Didn't I see you, down at the Univ., the other day?" I admitted to being a postgraduate student. Then: "Well why don't you join the CC then - looks like you've got the goods...?" At this point a red alarm LED started blinking in my head: I muttered "Hey wait a moment guys, I'm not a club guy, I'm not into TTing or any of that stuff, I'm purely a leisure cyclist, go out for spins at the weekends..." "Don't you worry about that, we have spins on Sundays, just outings, we'd be glad to have you join in, it's not a training run, it's not fast..."

So I started turning up on Sundays, going along with the gang. Someone lent me a jersey in the club colours. I soon learnt that the 'Sunday Spins' consisted mostly of cruising up Hollins Hill to Otley, big 1-pint mug of tea (bought for a pittance) at Tommy's Cafe, a cake or bikkies if feeling hungry, then back to Bradford. Well, Tommy's _(alas long since gone!)_ was a splendid place, very convivial, every Sunday it was piled high in front of the cafe with a great tangled mass of road bikes, spilling across the pavement into the road.

But even of Tommy's, great place though it was, you can only take so much. Sometimes we went to Skipton instead, by way of variety, similar cafe (can't remember its name). The riding was OK, within my capacity in those days. Sometimes one or two of the lads would break into a sprint just to show off, I never learnt to sprint so I left them to it: but it was all very friendly, like. Once we were passed by Sid Barras, leading UK professional of the day, out training. A couple of the lads latched on to him, he good-humouredly played them for a mile or so, then with a cheery wave and a "see you lads" he dropped them in a twinkling. The rest of us caught up with the lads looking a bit crestfallen but they felt honoured by the encounter!

So this was all good fun. But I was getting a bit restless, so one day I suggested "Shall we do an all-day run? Go a bit further out, into the Dales maybe?" The club sec. hummed and ha'd and said, we'll think about it. Sure enough a week or two later a notice went up on the union noticeboard, saying, we're going further afield next Sunday, bring butties.

So the route chosen was Skipton, then Malham, up past Malham Cove to Arncliffe, down Littondale, back to Bradford via Grassington and Bolton Abbey. I don't remember, now, whether it was I who proposed this route, or whether it was by common consensus and agreement. Whatever, this was the route decided upon. I do recall pointing out that there were several good pubs on the way.

So we rolled into Malham, where we stopped outside the pub to eat our lunch (or pop into the cafe to buy some, for those who'd forgot). Was going fine up till now. It was then (I think) that I noticed that some of the others were on very close-ratio six- or seven-speed (9/10/11 speed cassettes were of course a thing of the long distant future!). I was fine on my wide-range 'granny' block. Also, everyone was on stiff cycling shoes with shoe-plates (there were no such things as clipless those days).

Ho hum.

The run up from Malham past the Cove and the Tarn to Arncliffe, is best visualised on the OS map rather than Google. This shows where the fun started.

As the close-ratio'd ones dismounted and walked, whilst I and the more fortunate ones continued to toil up on the pedals, I could sense glowering glances in my direction. I tried to keep spirits up with the promise of the pub at Arncliffe.

There are several other double-chevrons on the route; I can't remember if there were other 'walking' episodes. Possibly there were.

Eventually we reached Arncliffe, and as if by a miracle it was still opening hours. That pub, the Falcon, is still there today: I just googled it and behold! - even now, nearly 40 years later, serves Real Ale as it did then, foaming straight from the barrel (protected from the heat by a damp cloth) into a jug and then straight into your glass! None of your hand-pumps here if you please! We were all genuine Real-Ale-chasers in those days. Surely that counted for something!

The rest of the ride passed without incident, although the mood, albeit lightened by the pub visit, was nonetheless a bit muted.

After that day, the Sunday rides got somewhat diminished. I was still invited to join, but it was made perfectly clear that henceforth it would be Tommy's, and none other than Tommy's, no arguments, period. I was still on good terms with the lads, but never dared to venture an opinion of my own after that.

Eventually the time came for me to leave Univ., later that summer. I handed back the jersey which I'd borrowed, to the club sec. Mutual 'goodbye's. End of tale.

I've never crossed paths with any CC since.   Me bad!


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## Globalti (16 Feb 2011)

Nice little yarn. They must have been some muppets though if they didn't fancy a bit of a ride out?


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## 661-Pete (16 Feb 2011)

Globalti said:


> Nice little yarn. They must have been some muppets though if they didn't fancy a bit of a ride out?


I felt like the muppet, myself . But you are right, they should have looked at the map and put 'appropriate' gearing on the bikes beforehand. But we were all students, and money was tight....

Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against roadies!


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## ColinJ (16 Feb 2011)

I like that!

I haven't ridden that road yet but I fully intend to do a forum ride up there one day from Hebden Bridge. I have the low gears, if not the fitness!

I can't understand why people don't like riding round fantastic places like that and insist on staying on main roads. I heard about one local cyclist who did every one of his rides up and down the A646, never once going anywhere else. Bonkers!

Incidentally, Sid Barras led several rides I did on Costa Blanca road training camps. One day, we rode inland to the Jalon valley and then headed up the Col de Rates climb. I had bad back ache that day and couldn't make much of an effort so I was dropped as soon as the climb began. I saw the other riders stretched out in front of me all the way up the climb. 

Then in the distance, I saw one rider u-turn and come bombing back down to me. It was Sid. He had been told that I was suffering and had come back down to see how I was. I told him that I didn't want everybody to wait for me. My back was hurting but I'd get round the route eventually. I knew the way and had tools and spares with me. I sent him on his way. He did another u-turn and shot off up the mountain _in the big ring!_ I think he was 54 at the time ...


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## 661-Pete (16 Feb 2011)

Amazing, what Google will bring up. Here is Tommy's in all its glory!

And here is what it looks like now. At least it's still an eatery! I don't suppose the cyclists pile up in hordes at the place, anymore!


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## Christopher (17 Feb 2011)

I loved this story - especially the description of the committee! Well done. 
Hm, you had to pile bikes against the wall of Tommy's in that first photo, not something I'd be keen on - I bet you often had to literally dig your bike out from stacks of others...
At least the Two Mills Cafe near Chester is still going strong. Now that is a cyclists' cafe: "Baked beans on toast, tea and an inner tube please..."


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## 661-Pete (19 Feb 2011)

I'm glad people are seeing the funny side of this tale - because it *was* funny, I thought so at the time! The thread title was meant to be a joke btw. And most of the others saw the funny side, too, afterwards. OK there was one guy who seemed inclined to bite my head off, ever after, but that was his problem, not mine...

But of course I'm writing about things long past. I have to accept that the days of group rides, of organised rides, are long since over for me. There is some stuff I just can't handle anymore. 


Frustruck said:


> At least the Two Mills Cafe near Chester is still going strong. Now that is a cyclists' cafe: "Baked beans on toast, tea and an inner tube please..."


I reckon, in the days of Tommy's, most of the roadies would have been on tubs. But I wouldn't be surprised if he kept a stock of those under the counter!


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## ColinJ (19 Feb 2011)

661-Pete said:


> But of course I'm writing about things long past. I have to accept that the days of group rides, of organised rides, are long since over for me. There is some stuff I just can't handle anymore.


I've never had a problem on forum or audax rides but I did meet one or two people I didn't like on training camps in Spain - probably what you'd call the more competitive types. Most were great, just the odd one making racist/sexist remarks or being aggressively over-critical of other people's mistakes when they were making similar mistakes themselves (not pointing out potholes, that kind of thing). 

What really irritated me was when a large group of us was holding up traffic by riding 4 or 5 abreast on twisty roads despite instructions from the ride leader to ride no more than 2 abreast. A motorist who had been held up behind us for about 10 minutes finally lost his temper and did a dodgy overtake to a barrage of insults and rude hand gestures. I was embarrassed to be riding abroad with some of those guys.

A group of Royal Marines were with us one year and they went for a night out in Benidorm. Apparently some of them didn't get back to the hotel until 5 am. They were very much the worse for wear when we set off for a mountainous ride 5 hours later!

It was a good hard ride and eventually we came to a stiff climb which had me off the back of the group, accompanied only by one very poorly-looking Marine. We were halfway up the climb and I noticed that he had gone almost green, and was starting to weave across the road. I thought he needed cheering up so I cracked a joke that we'd be coming to the first climb of the day after we'd got over those little foothills. It didn't go down well ...


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## BearPear (7 Mar 2011)

There is still a decent bike-friendly (pedal and motorised) cafe in Otley - it's on the bridge and sells big mugs of tea & coffee at a fraction of the "branded" coffee shops. Think around £1.50 for coffee & a bun! It's a lovely place to stop halfway through a ride!


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