# Phew! That went better than I expected......



## I like Skol (9 Jul 2013)

There's been a potential storm brewing at Skol Mansions for the last month or so. I try to cycle the kids to school whenever possible maybe only 1 or 2 days a week depending on weather and shift patterns. Oldest son is 10 and will be in his last year at junior school after the summer hols (currently year 5) younger son is a few years behind and is only 7yrs old.

Mrs Skol has always been a bit uneasy about this, saying the roads are too busy, there's too many idiots about and the kids aren't sensible enough. My argument has been that most of the 2.5 mile route is parks, cycle tracks and quiet back roads with only a short busy area as we cross the town centre which is mainly by using the ped crossings and riding across the market place and pedestrianized centre. I am there to shepherd them and make sure the motorists are kept at bay!

For the last couple of months I have done a staged release for the older son. First he was allowed to go on ahead once we crossed the town centre. Then as we left the house, and eventually about 2 or 3 weeks ago I started sending him on his own while I drove the younger son in the car.

This has worked well and he has proven his ability and had a huge boost to his confidence and independence (he has been keen to get up and get his own stuff ready so he can go when he needs to). I told both kids that mum wasn't going to like the arrangement so we wouldn't talk about it BUT! We were not going to lie about it and if she asked about how we were getting to school only the truth would do.

Last night it happened. Mrs Skol asked if we had cycled to school and quick as a flash before I had a chance to explain diplomatically, youngest Skol blurted out "Big brother rode to school on his own!"

As expected, Mrs Skol was less than pleased and she made this clear, but there were no dramatics, no accusations of risking their lives, terrible irresponsibility, this must never happen again etc... In fact, the evening continued almost as if nothing had happened and at bed time she just repeated again that she wasn't happy about him riding alone and that has been the end of it? I really expected it to hit the fan on this subject but it hasn't. As our kids have grown and developed there have been several sticking points/developmental milestones where I have pushed and Mrs Skol has held back (ditching the pram, moving from child car seats to booster seats etc) and I think she may know that she is too hesitant and I am too keen. This has been on the horizon since the end of last summer when I first thought he was about ready to ride solo so I have waited a good while before putting it into practice.

Anyway, it looks like I now have a child that is about to be released into the big wide world under his own steam. It won't be too long before he is off to his mates houses etc, maybe not this summer but possibly, and definitely next year.


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## fossyant (9 Jul 2013)

Excellent. He will be fine having seen him in action. My lad rode to school in last year juniors then now at high school.


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## roadrash (9 Jul 2013)

Well done ,it can only serve him well . It's great watching your kids take little steps to independence


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## Lanzecki (9 Jul 2013)

It's all good. We all have to 'release' them at some time. Giving them independence is an important step in their lives. 

There are always dangers on the road, just as there are dangers in the kitchen. It's all about balancing dangers with life experiences.


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## I like Skol (9 Jul 2013)

fossyant said:


> .....He will be fine having seen him in action........


Now, I'm sure he won't be fine because at some point something will happen. This could be something simple like a puncture or taking a tumble on wet leaves or more serious like being accosted by a bunch of peanut little sh!t kids that decide today they are going to pick on the lone kid riding his bike past. Whatever it is, it's how he deals with these situations that will show his true mettle.



Lanzecki said:


> There are always dangers on the road, just as there are dangers in the kitchen. It's all about balancing dangers with life experiences.


 He's good, and while he isn't as aware on the road as I am, he seems to be very aware of this and so takes extra care. I am certain I will feel terribly guilty if and when anything bad happens.


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## fossyant (9 Jul 2013)

My lad has had one knock off, early on - car reversed off a drive. He picked himself up and carried on. One or two mechanicals - puncture and a jammed chain. Called mum to collect him, even though he could have walked home in 20 minutes. He did fix the puncture at home. Oh and he's had one or two of the idiots at school try and knock him off, easily out ran them.


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## Sandra6 (10 Jul 2013)

Letting go of the first is the hardest, subsequent children are easier. 
My eldest had very little in the way of freedom until he went to senior school, but my youngest (8) rides her bike around the neighbourhood back lanes happily. 
Mind you, eldest son was a bit of a numpty and on the couple of occasions he was allowed anywhere ended up in strife -including getting himself hit by a car!


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## byegad (10 Jul 2013)

At ten I'd done the Cycling Proficiency course and was riding around Middlesbrough on my own. While traffic levels were not, in the early 1960s what they are today, Middlesbrough town centre was pretty damn busy!

I'm delighted the OP has allowed his son the freedom and self reliance I enjoyed at ten.


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## steve52 (10 Jul 2013)

to you and him, rasing children is a bit like cycleing, you have to let go of the handelbars sometimes.there may well be falls but it all part of it, so again


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## I like Skol (10 Jul 2013)

byegad said:


> I'm delighted the OP has allowed his son the freedom and self reliance I enjoyed at ten.


 I'm a bit younger than you, born in 73, so did my main growing up in the 80s. I don't think there has been the massive change between then and now that was experienced by previous generations. I do accept that life for our kids will never be the same as it was for us but I don't see any value in making them live in a vacuum, protected from any and all possible misfortunes. That can only make fragile and unstable people of them.
And yes, I want my kids to have some of the freedom I felt I had.


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## Sandra6 (10 Jul 2013)

73 was a good year for being born


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## Hicky (12 Jul 2013)

We have been and gone through this with ours(he was 10 in May), he has been going out on his own for maybe a year now(only local the village).
I'm more worried about some idiot trying to steal his bike from him and him being hurt 
I am not afraid to admit it has been the most anxious time of my life and I've never doubted myself(rather than him) more.


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## I like Skol (12 Jul 2013)

Hicky said:


> I am not afraid to admit it has been the most anxious time of my life and I've never doubted myself(rather than him) more.


This sums it up pretty accurately, the cost of getting it wrong as a parent could be heartbreakingly high.


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## garethssmith (7 Aug 2013)

Coming to the same crossroads. My eldest is 9 in a few weeks and he's itching to ride to the park with his mates etc. there's no "main" roads so to speak but there are roads to cross. I think I'll be waiting until next summer before letting go, but I know I'll have to let go sooner rather than later


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