# The "oh what a Wally I am" thread.



## Kins (23 Feb 2013)

So, post the stupid things you've done as a beginner new to cycling and cycling maintenance. Best go first then!

So today, I was getting my new bike ready for a ride, I filled my 2 bottles and stuck them in the bottle cages. The one on the sloping down tube was far to small at the base to stay in. Tried swapping over the bottles but same problem.

Decided the bottle cage must be for the shorter fat bottles, so took it off, took the spare one off my mountain bike and fitted it to my road bike. Jobs a gooden eh?

Eeer well no. When I went to pick up the old cage I picked it up from the bottom, and it gave way a little. I thought it must be broken at first, but no,_ it has a friggin slidding cage to adjust the bloody size!!!  _

It was just a bit stiff.

Oh what a fool I felt as I redid the work and put it back on the original one!


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## themosquitoking (23 Feb 2013)

I usually forget to do up my brakes after taking a wheel off for any reason, thankfully it's not very often i take both off at the same time.


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## deptfordmarmoset (23 Feb 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> I usually forget to do up my brakes after taking a wheel off for any reason, thankfully it's not very often i take both off at the same time.


Yes, there's been a few times I've got to the major road at the end of my street before I've realised I haven't reset them! I'm glad I don't live at the top of a hill....


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## ColinJ (23 Feb 2013)

I looked at the big chain ring and thought how sharp the teeth were. I looked at my hand and thought how much it would hurt if I caught my hand on that chain ring. I looked at my pedal spanner and thought that I'd use it to take the right side pedal off. I thought that the pedal spanner might slip ... 

So I picked up the pedal spanner to remove my right side pedal, slipped, and gashed the back of my hand on the big ring!


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## TonyEnjoyD (23 Feb 2013)

Bout 6- mths ago I rebuilt my bike up upgrading the groupset etc and stripped/cleaned/lubed just about everything.
Having never ever lubed a seat stem in my life I took someone's advice and lubed it.
I still periodically ave to adjust it up even though I have cleaned it so many times!

So, stick with my gut instinct


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## Rickshaw Phil (23 Feb 2013)

When removing a crank using a crank puller which can do square taper or octalink, make sure you use the right adaptor.

"Damn this is tight! Oh, the thread is all coming out in a little coil."


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## ianrauk (23 Feb 2013)

Of course I have never fitted a chain without going through the chainstay first.
And have definitely never spent an age unsuccessfully trying to screw in a bottom bracket not realising it's a reverse thread.
And who would ever think of forgetting to tighten the handlebar stem after fettling and only finding out when embarking on a ride.


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## Mo1959 (23 Feb 2013)

Fitting mudguards and cut too much off one of the sets of stays so ended up too short. Had to borrow the stays from another set waiting to be fitted to other bike. Spares are nearly as dear as the whole mudguards so the set I borrowed from are still sitting there.Think SJS do spares so I will get them at some point.


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## Supersuperleeds (23 Feb 2013)

Worst I've done is decide to take the ice tyres off and put the normal tyres back on. I did this okay, but then decided to adjust the brakes, screwed that up, so decided lbs could do it, jumped on the bike, round second corner I realised I should have left the ice tyres alone as I slid, went over and bent the forks that had been on the bike less than a week.

Adjusted the seat before and not tightened it back up properly, riding home from work, going up hill the seat decides it wants to position itself for a launch into space, never been so uncomfortable in my life.


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## Nigelnaturist (23 Feb 2013)

I haven't done this since I was in my teens (I used to do a lot of work on Landrovers) cross threaded one of the bolts for the water bottle.
Yea the brakes done that, though I do remember these days, (usually) not tightening the cassette properly only to find it lose a mile down the road.


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## Pat "5mph" (23 Feb 2013)

Fitting new wheels on an old faithful: why is the back wheel not spinning freely?
Because I skewered the wingnuts grip end out! Doh!


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## Rickshaw Phil (23 Feb 2013)

Just thought of another one: When you have made a real muck up of a job on the bike, giving it a good kick in anger will not help, especially if your kick is aimed wrong and takes the tyre valve off.


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## Pat "5mph" (23 Feb 2013)

Rickshaw Phil said:


> Just thought of another one: When you have made a real muck up of a job on the bike, giving it a good kick in anger will not help, especially if your kick is aimed wrong and takes the tyre valve off.


Were you in the wrong thread there just now or have I got deja vu?


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## Andrew_Culture (23 Feb 2013)

Spent far too long trying to fit some pedals before realising I had them back to front.


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## Rickshaw Phil (23 Feb 2013)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Were you in the wrong thread there just now or have I got deja vu?


 I deny everything. And the three pints of beer I enjoyed earlier have nothing to do with it.

Can I add that to the list of mistakes?


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## Pat "5mph" (23 Feb 2013)

Fitting a rear rack for the first time: what's the matter with this instructions, are they ancient Greek? 
What's this bit? Let's discard it, probably not for this kind of bike.
Why is this blooming rack not wanting to stay put???
Five hours plus a you tube video later: aha, I see: the bit is meant to attach to the seat stays!


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## Alan Frame (24 Feb 2013)

Never carry a spare pair of forks in your hand whilst riding along. The resultant deceleration when the spare fork connects with the front spokes lacks a certain amount of modulation.


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## summerdays (24 Feb 2013)

First time I was replacing the chain ... laid the old one out next to the new one, counted links etc, counted again .... ok deep breath and shorten the chain to the right size. Tried to fit the chain on the bike ... realised I had left the chain with two male male endings. Had to remove one of them - so chain was now 1 link shorter than it had been.

However every cloud has a silver lining of course.... the bike actually seemed to work better with the shortened chain and so I have left it that length ever since.

And I always check where I remove the link carefully!!!


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## dodgy (24 Feb 2013)

TonyEnjoyD said:


> Bout 6- mths ago I rebuilt my bike up upgrading the groupset etc and stripped/cleaned/lubed just about everything.
> Having never ever lubed a seat stem in my life I took someone's advice and lubed it.
> I still periodically ave to adjust it up even though I have cleaned it so many times!
> 
> So, stick with my gut instinct


 
Apply some carbon assembly paste, it's designed to ensure there's friction between delicate components so you don't have to use as much torque.

PS - At least you won't be posting a "my seatpost is stuck, how do I remove it" thread.


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## MossCommuter (24 Feb 2013)

I have never, ever, sheared a crank extractor in two by trying to remove the cranks without undoing the bolts.

No.

Never done that


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## ColinJ (24 Feb 2013)

MossCommuter said:


> I have never, ever, sheared a crank extractor in two by trying to remove the cranks without undoing the bolts.
> 
> No.
> 
> Never done that


I'm sure that nobody has ever been daft enough to do that. Just as sure as I am that nobody has ever half inserted a crank extractor and ended up extracting the crank thread instead ...


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## youngoldbloke (24 Feb 2013)

I have never ever, years ago, when building a bike up from bits, fitted tyres to wheels without rim tapes, and then I have never been extremely shocked when the tyres exploded very, very, noisily when taking such a hypothetical bike for its first run out. Honest.


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## Ladytrucker (24 Feb 2013)

Last week I was so worried about using my new clipless shoes/pedals for the first time, off I went and I did some clipping in and out a few times then settled into my ride. About 10 or 15 mins down the road I noticed I had no glasses, no water, no tissues and no computer. I decided to carry on I was not going too far anyway. I got back a snotty nosed, wind swept, dehydrated mess. They were all still sitting on the doorstep when I got back !!! doh.
I won't do that again.


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## ianrauk (24 Feb 2013)

When replacing a wheel on your bike with a brand new one under warranty. Make sure that when you spin the wheel after fitting, you do not knock a garden spade into the spokes.

I mean what div would do such a thing?


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## dave r (24 Feb 2013)

With a fixed wheel bike adjusting the chain then doing the wheel nuts up with the big ring spanner out of the tool box, then finding you can't get the wheel nuts undone by the roadside with small open ended spanner you keep in the saddlebag.


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## Kins (24 Feb 2013)

I lifted my bike up the 40 odd steps on the back way up to my house after this evenings ride. Tip, when you tinker with your bike before you go out, remember to re-tighten your skewers, yep, the back wheel fell off as I sat it back on the wheels at the top.

What a muppet!


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## MossCommuter (24 Feb 2013)

dave r said:


> With a fixed wheel bike adjusting the chain then doing the wheel nuts up with the big ring spanner out of the tool box, then finding you can't get the wheel nuts undone by the roadside with small open ended spanner you keep in the saddlebag.


Never done that, no, not even twice


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## swampyseifer (24 Feb 2013)

I think repeatedly forgetting when leaning to turn that I need to keep the inside pedal up is my worst thing!


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## Alan Frame (24 Feb 2013)

Managing to expertly catch an overhanging branch in an air vent on me helmet whilst ring along a canal towpath.

Stayed upright, gained some whiplash-like reminders of the incident and lost my front light in the canal.


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## kerndog (24 Feb 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> I usually forget to do up my brakes after taking a wheel off for any reason, thankfully it's not very often i take both off at the same time.


 
I did this the other day, was riding for 3 days before I realised


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## themosquitoking (24 Feb 2013)

When climbing up a hill i should always remember that the same gear lever movement i use to change to a smaller cog at the back of the bike changes to a bigger cog on the front gears.


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## themosquitoking (24 Feb 2013)

kerndog said:


> I did this the other day, was riding for 3 days before I realised


How many miles do you go on average before braking?


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## kerndog (24 Feb 2013)

Andrew_Culture said:


> Spent far too long dying to fit some pedals before realising I had them back to front.


 
ah... ive also done this...


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## kerndog (24 Feb 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> How many miles do you go on average before braking?


 
I did a 20 mile ride like it... no really.

They worked but were a little spongy


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## themosquitoking (24 Feb 2013)

kerndog said:


> I did a 20 mile ride like it... no really.
> 
> They worked but were a little spongy


A little spongy sounds like a touch more reactive than mine when i forget. I can pull the brake lever right to the handlebars and somehow i end up going faster. It's good for clenching practice though.


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## The Over 40 Cyclist (24 Feb 2013)

Put the rear wheel on before a ride and forgot to give it a spin to see if the brakes were grabbing.

Suffered badly for 5k's, decided that I was getting too old for cycling and I couldn't cut it any more. Struggled to stay on the back of the bunch even when they weren't pushing all that hard.

Eventually gave up and got off, spun the rear wheel, realised that I'd been pedalling against the brakes for 5ks but was so knackered I struggled for the rest of the ride.


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## RWright (24 Feb 2013)

I deflated many tires I had filled with air so I could put the wheel back on my bike, this was before I realized there was a quick release lever on my brakes.


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## ColinJ (24 Feb 2013)

The Over 40 Cyclist said:


> Put the rear wheel on before a ride and forgot to give it a spin to see if the brakes were grabbing.
> 
> Suffered badly for 5k's, decided that I was getting too old for cycling and I couldn't cut it any more. Struggled to stay on the back of the bunch even when they weren't pushing all that hard.
> 
> Eventually gave up and got off, spun the rear wheel, realised that I'd been pedalling against the brakes for 5ks but was so knackered I struggled for the rest of the ride.


You want to try it for 202 hilly kms!


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## Nigelnaturist (25 Feb 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> When climbing up a hill i should always remember that the same gear lever movement i use to change to a smaller cog at the back of the bike changes to a bigger cog on the front gears.


Never done that one.


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## RWright (25 Feb 2013)

Nigelnaturist said:


> Never done that one.




I still do it, triggers or STI.


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## Nigelnaturist (25 Feb 2013)

RWright said:


> I still do it, triggers or STI.


It's what f's up sometimes on strava for me, did it today, though I still got a p.b.,mind that was more of not dropping the front at the right time.


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## Pale Rider (25 Feb 2013)

Fitting a derailleur, I decided to loop the cable in a U-shape around the clamping bolt and then upwards through the clamp.

Why? Because I thought it would grip better.

Don't know if it did, but I do know it took all my strength on the lever to change gear.

No damage done, and the relief when I finally sorted it made all the aggravation almost worthwhile.


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## Mile195 (25 Feb 2013)

Ok, so this was on a motorbike, but still two wheels so I guess it counts...

I briefly owned a Honda VFR. It had this seemingly pointless reflector just beneath the reg plate. I didn't like it, so I pulled out my trusty hacksaw and duly removed the offending article.

All was well, until it rained. As it turns out, said reflector acts as an extension to the mudguard and stops spray coming off the back wheel, all over the back of the bike, and any luggage.

Oooops....


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## Andrew_Culture (25 Feb 2013)

kerndog said:


> ah... ive also done this...



I was out on these pedals for the first time yesterday and forgot they are slippery on one side (as apposed to the double sided MTB SPDs I'm used to). I have thigh bruising, it's a good job the temperature was so low my cobblers had retreated indoors.


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## compo (25 Feb 2013)

I had an appointment with a health advisor this morning. When going into town and leaving my bike I use an old MTB that if nicked I wouldn't lose any sleep. I went out in the cold and drizzle to the shed and bought the bike indoors ready. Was getting my papers ready to take when I noticed the date of the appointment..... March 1st. I have no idea why I thought it was today but the MTB is safely tucked up back in te shed.


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## Andrew_P (25 Feb 2013)

Being a Shimano chain person despite advice to the contrary I have never ever pushed the only pin they give you too far in, not realised gone out for a ride jumping gears and a chain snap 8 miles from home. No not me not ever.


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## MossCommuter (25 Feb 2013)

Waved like a lunatic at a mate's van as he approached me on the way to work a couple of months ago.

Turns out it wasn't my mate but someone in an identical van.

The driver of the second van still waves occasionally when he sees me


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## Lanzecki (25 Feb 2013)

After fitting Crud racers to my bike and setting they up per the instructions and videos (Yes I do read instructions) every thing was fine barely a noise just a slight woosh from the little pads that touch the rims I was very happy to not get myself and more importantly the bike covered in crud. They work!

2 weeks later I have a tick tick tick noise as the from front wheel. I reset the mudguards and checked for clearance. Every thing seemed OK. The next ride tick, tick, tick. I removed the mudguard. No more tick.. Mudguard goes back in and there's no tick. 

The next ride tick, tick tick, after 10 mins. Agghghhgh!

It took 2 hours of looking and adjusting before I dropped the wheel out to find a 5mm piece of insulating tape was stuck to the inside of the fork touching the front wheel. Tick, Tick, Tick...

Problem solved. The strange thing is I've never used insulating tape on any of my bikes. Everything is wireless. 

I'm now enjoying cycling again.


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## Kins (25 Feb 2013)

Nobody would possibly tip their bike upside down because they've run out of room in their spare room/ work room and refit a BB, crank etc and then realise the chainring is on the wrong side of the bike would they!?!?


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## Scoosh (25 Feb 2013)

Why would anyone want to remove their freewheel, give it a good greasing (I think that's what I did was done), refit it - but not do it up tight enough ?

The thought came to mind when I was 250 metres into a 200km audax ride and the rear wheel completely seized up ..... end of ride.


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## Alan Frame (25 Feb 2013)

Never believe that it would be good idea to cross your hands over on the handlebars, left hand on right side of bars and vice versa.

A close examination of the tarmac is often the result. Allegedly.


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## Andrew_Culture (25 Feb 2013)

An hour and a half trying to fit a 700c Marathon Plus to a 27" wheel.


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## Rickshaw Phil (25 Feb 2013)

A new lesson learned today: Turning into a side road at speed with muddy tyres should be treated as cautiously as if the road was wet.

Stayed upright through luck rather than judgement!


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## postman (26 Feb 2013)

ah 'um.
Just make sure even though you took a photograph of the middle chain ring before you took it off,and replacing it with a xmas pressie one you had bought from your lovely lbs.That you have put it on the right way round.
Before you go back to the shop asking have they sold you the right one.


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## Billy Adam (26 Feb 2013)

Never ever put mirrors on (when much younger) and spend so much time looking to see what's behind you, and not seeing the car in front of you and running in to said car and smashing the mirrors you saved all your pocket money up for. Never done that.


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## Gary E (26 Feb 2013)

While changing a tube at home after a ride I was distracted and came back to the job some time later. Spent a while levering the tyre onto the wheel only to then find that there was no valve sticking out when I went to inflate it. Yep, the new tube was still hung over the bike in the bike stand


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## Kins (28 Feb 2013)

When people fill their water bottles, everyone, I am sure, checks to make sure the top is closed before shaking to mix the cordial don't they?


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## MossCommuter (28 Feb 2013)

I put my right mitt on my left hand and my left mitt on my right hand last night.

For 500 yards I was trying to work out what was wrong with my handlebars


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## Billy Adam (28 Feb 2013)

MossCommuter said:


> I put my right mitt on my left hand and my left mitt on my right hand last night.
> 
> For 500 yards I was trying to work out what was wrong with my handlebars


That could've been nasty. Turning left when you wanted to go right.


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## MossCommuter (28 Feb 2013)

Billy Adam said:


> That could've been nasty. Turning left when you wanted to go right.


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## tyred (28 Feb 2013)

Don't try using a crank extractor on your MTB without removing the washer first. Not that I would ever do such a thing

Don't hit the bearing race of your rare 1950s cyclo freewheel block with a centre punch and break it in half. Who would do such a thing...


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## Billy Adam (1 Mar 2013)

Being a computer savvi person. I would never, when tired, try and edit a ride in strava and delete your longest ride to date. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Many expletives deleted.


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## NormanD (1 Mar 2013)

Bought myself some new gear inner cables due to shifting problems with the old cables fitted to my Carrera. Took the new inner cables out of their bag and hung them coiled over the brake leaver, proceeded to snip the old cables, removed them, cleaned the outers and was ready to insert the new inners. Somehow I managed to pick up a spare brake inner cable instead, cussed at myself (many times) for buying the wrong cables, then used ultra slow public transport to crawl back to the cycle shop and buy more inner gear cables.

Returned home, took the new inner cables out of their bags and hung them on the brake leaver where I found the original two I'd already bought!! ... I called myself so many names my ears were burning


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## User16625 (1 Mar 2013)

Some say that the stig once did a lap of the top gear test track before realising he forgot to take the car he was supposed to be testing. Ive never made a mistake tho, even when I sometimes contradict myself.


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## Christopher (1 Mar 2013)

When putting on new handlebars and leaving the bolts a bit slack so you can get the angle of the bars right, try and remember to do up the bolts before riding off. Because they tend to rotate on you under braking which is not nice.

This one time I was puzzling at a mark on the front tyre while riding along and rode into the back of a parked car - but this was an American car from the 1970s with a super high boot (this was in 70s America so no real mystery) - so the front wheel lodged under the back of the car. That threw my weight forward as the bike stopped and I didn't, then the bike freed itself by falling sideways onto the road and I landed on top of it. That was painful. Glad no-one saw me though.


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## MisterStan (1 Mar 2013)

I've never been too busy looking at my cycle computer and cycled into a hedge. Or a car.


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## Pikey (1 Mar 2013)

I most definitely did not rush home tonight, full of a minging cold to excitedly fit my new chain, having spent forty quid on it and cut it too short.

Because then I would be both snotty and p*ssed off.


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## citybabe (1 Mar 2013)

I d


summerdays said:


> First time I was replacing the chain ... laid the old one out next to the new one, counted links etc, counted again .... ok deep breath and shorten the chain to the right size. Tried to fit the chain on the bike ... realised I had left the chain with two male male endings. Had to remove one of them - so chain was now 1 link shorter than it had been.
> 
> However every cloud has a silver lining of course.... the bike actually seemed to work better with the shortened chain and so I have left it that length ever since.
> 
> And I always check where I remove the link carefully!!!




I done exactly the same!


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## Nigelnaturist (1 Mar 2013)

Billy Adam said:


> Being a computer savvi person. I would never, when tired, try and edit a ride in strava and delete your longest ride to date. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Many expletives deleted.


Did you not copy your data at all then. That is daft. Though did the same with the original of of one of mine, but i did have it on other sites, so I could get it back. I knew there was advantage just uploading everything to garmin.


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## Billy Adam (1 Mar 2013)

Nigelnaturist said:


> Did you not copy your data at all then. That is daft. Though did the same with the original of of one of mine, but i did have it on other sites, so I could get it back. I knew there was advantage just uploading everything to garmin.


For some reason I loaded two rides for one. Deleted one and it deleted both. Doh! You live and learn.


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## spacecat (3 Mar 2013)

Setting off on a mtb trail and falling off twice in quick succession on gentle bends. Thinking "i don't know how to do this anymore" and then noticing the front QR lever swinging in the breeze!


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## mrbadexample (4 Mar 2013)

Apparently, if you ride with your eyes shut, you hit a tree.


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## BrumJim (4 Mar 2013)

Heading out, seeing frost, and thinking "I must take corners very carefully today." And forgetting this before I reached the first corner.


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## monkeylc (4 Mar 2013)

I left the house yesterday without my bike!
I really did though,which is worrying! I got to the front gate with all my kit on and felt like I'd forgot something......


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## flatflr (4 Mar 2013)

Billy Adam said:


> For some reason I loaded two rides for one. Deleted one and it deleted both. Doh! You live and learn.


 
I've never done that either, and didn't drive the route to get it back (I'm sure that would be cheating if I did it but I would keep it hidden so none of the segments would show).


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## Nigelnaturist (5 Mar 2013)

I greased the rear hub last week, today I thought the rear wheel is knocking when I put the bike down, thinking that the hub had settled a little and needing pinching up a little, just to find the rear Q.R. lose, never done that in my life. (till now)


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## DRHysted (5 Mar 2013)

Having to look straight at the light (doesn't matter if it's front or rear) just to check it's working.
Then you have to wait for vision to return.


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## Lanzecki (5 Mar 2013)

I've never gone for a night ride only to be in the pitch black with a front light that's fading to black. To top it all, I always have spare batteries.


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## Alan Frame (6 Mar 2013)

Carefully loaded my bike up with tools, p******e repair kit, pump and lights in case I was even slower than usual and got caught out in the twilight....


then went out on a different bike.


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## Nigelnaturist (6 Mar 2013)

Alan Frame said:


> Carefully loaded my bike up with tools, p******e repair kit, pump and lights in case I was even slower than usual and got caught out in the twilight....
> 
> 
> then went out on a different bike.


Can't happen to me, only the one bike.


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## mr_cellophane (8 Mar 2013)

When you change your tyres on your MTB from 1.25 inch to 2 inch it is a good idea to change the inner tube in your tools pack. No matter how much air you pump in, it won't fit in the tyre.


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## MisterStan (8 Mar 2013)

Having changed a tube over part way home on a commute, whilst I was pumping up the tube, I managed to snap the valve off, luckily I still had a spare tube to get home on.
Recently when removing the clip on adaptor from the valve, I managed to tear off the top of the valve core.
Must be more gentle!


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## jayjay (14 Mar 2013)

RWright said:


> I deflated many tires I had filled with air so I could put the wheel back on my bike, this was before I realized there was a quick release lever on my brakes.


 
Ah, I know someone already knows that the v-brake handily unhooks to give tyre clearance but seems surprised to discover it anew when wheel removal seems a bit difficult. Usually after the tyre has been deflated.


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## Phoenix Lincs (14 Mar 2013)

Well thanks everybody, what a fab start to the day. 

Thought I'd have a quick browse before setting off for work. Note to self, next time, do not put mascara on before reading this thread!!!

Have a great day x


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## Kins (14 Mar 2013)

No-one would carry their bike up a flight of long steps and decide to stick it over there shoulder where their water bottles fall out and one lands on the cap and shatters!


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## shunter (15 Mar 2013)

No-on would be smug enough to carry a spare tube in case they get a puncture only to discover that they were stupid enough to have bought a tube with a schrader valve instead of a presta valve


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## lavoisier (15 Mar 2013)

shunter said:


> No-on would be smug enough to carry a spare tube in case they get a puncture only to discover that they were stupid enough to have bought a tube with a schrader valve instead of a presta valve


How many of us are checking our spare tube valves now?


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## DooDah (16 Mar 2013)

OK, went out on my bike at short notice today. I was having one of those days, where everything seemed to be breaking down, van first then laptop, then front gate. Thought I just needed a ride to sort my head out. Shouted to the wife that I was going out, and she shouted back that she had cleaned my water bottles. Went to kitchen grabbed my water bottles which were full, and I thought oh thats nice she has already prepared them. Anyway, 20km into my ride I thought I would have a drink when I took a large slug of water with fairy liquid in it. Spitting and gagging for some time, I thought no I need a drink so took the other bottle, and just the same. I spent the next 20km home coughing, gagging and thirsty as hell. When I got back my wife said, "well I told you so, why do you never listen to me?".

Bit of a shite day really, so I thought I would fix the van, tried to take off the starter motor, sheared two bolts and skinned my knuckles. Thought bugger this, I going to open a beer and watch the rugby. England got thrashed, my football team also got thrashed, so think I will open the vodka.

Lets hope Sunday will be better


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## Pat "5mph" (16 Mar 2013)

DooDah said:


> OK, went out on my bike at short notice today. I was having one of those days, where everything seemed to be breaking down, van first then laptop, then front gate. Thought I just needed a ride to sort my head out. Shouted to the wife that I was going out, and she shouted back that she had cleaned my water bottles. Went to kitchen grabbed my water bottles which were full, and I thought oh thats nice she has already prepared them. Anyway, 20km into my ride I thought I would have a drink when I took a large slug of water with fairy liquid in it. Spitting and gagging for some time, I thought no I need a drink so took the other bottle, and just the same. I spent the next 20km home coughing, gagging and thirsty as hell. When I got back my wife said, "well I told you so, why do you never listen to me?".
> 
> Bit of a s***e day really, so I thought I would fix the van, tried to take off the starter motor, sheared two bolts and skinned my knuckles. Thought bugger this, I going to open a beer and watch the rugby. England got thrashed, my football team also got thrashed, so think I will open the vodka.
> 
> Lets hope Sunday will be better


 Sorry, shouldn't laugh  hope your Sunday will make up for this ... I mean ... it cannae get any worse!


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## MossCommuter (20 Mar 2013)

So pleased with myself for fitting a new bottom bracket all by my very own...

...I hadn't tightened the crank bolt properly on the non-drive side; pedal fell off on Deansgate last night


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## Peteaud (20 Mar 2013)

I have never been fetteling in the garage and gone for a quick test ride, slamming the self locking garage door on way out and having no keys to get back in, then waiting 3 hours for wife to get home.


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## Pat "5mph" (20 Mar 2013)

I claim the title of "wally of the day" 
Changing a back brake cable (for the first time), put it in the wrong way, can't get it back out, loosen the front brake cable to compare, fray the new cable, still can't get it out, other cable pops out unaided 
Discover all I had to do in the first place was to slide the thing in underneath


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## matthat (20 Mar 2013)

Alan Frame said:


> Carefully loaded my bike up with tools, p******e repair kit, pump and lights in case I was even slower than usual and got caught out in the twilight....
> 
> 
> then went out on a different bike.


That reminds me of going to work with a lanyard lock with no padlock!! Luckily i work in a supermarket so quick run in to purchase padlock! And another time forgot both locks so ended up riding back home to pick clip on coil off other bike!! Again luckily I only live 2 miles away so a quick sprint and all sorted.


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## matthat (20 Mar 2013)

shunter said:


> No-on would be smug enough to carry a spare tube in case they get a puncture only to discover that they were stupid enough to have bought a tube with a schrader valve instead of a presta valve


Jet needs to read this one!!


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## matthat (20 Mar 2013)

I remember as a kid doing a wheelie on bmx burner and front wheel fell out!! Landed on forks on gravel! Don't remember sustaining any major injuries just pride in front of my mates!!


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## Jet (20 Mar 2013)

Yeah thx for reminding me Matt!!!!!


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## matthat (20 Mar 2013)




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## MossCommuter (20 Mar 2013)

I just spent an hour reading Sheldon and watching YouTubes to learn about adjusting the front hub because I thought there was play in it only to find, once on the workstand, that a wheel nut was loose.

Not having a good week.


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## Pat "5mph" (20 Mar 2013)

MossCommuter said:


> I just spent an hour reading Sheldon and watching YouTubes to learn about adjusting the front hub because I thought there was play in it only to find, once on the workstand, that a wheel nut was loose.
> 
> Not having a good week.


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## Rickshaw Phil (20 Mar 2013)

MossCommuter said:


> I just spent an hour reading Sheldon and watching YouTubes to learn about adjusting the front hub because I thought there was play in it only to find, once on the workstand, that a wheel nut was loose.
> 
> Not having a good week.


But you now know how to adjust a wheel bearing when you need to.


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## baldycyclist (20 Mar 2013)

matthat said:


> I remember as a kid doing a wheelie on bmx burner and front wheel fell out!! Landed on forks on gravel! Don't remember sustaining any major injuries just pride in front of my mates!!


have we not all done that?
did it on a grifter mind you....slightly more interesting fall


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## Kins (22 Mar 2013)

So I bought a new bike (to me) from the bay of fleas in mid feb which arrived by courier who had kindly damaged the large chain ring by dropping it from a great height! 

So I have only had middle and small ring. Been so obsessed with sorting it out and getting compensation for a new one that I hadn't thought about anything else on the bike. Today comp arrived so decided to treat myself as well as a new crank and BB, to get a new chain and rear cassette only to find out that the reason I have been struggling up hills in my fat suit is because the cassette is bloody 11-21!

Serves me right for not checking I suppose.....


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## tyred (22 Mar 2013)

What sort of idiot would service the bottom bracket of his Raleigh Trent and put the spindle in the wrong way round and spend an hour trying to work out why the hole in the drive side crank wouldn't line up with the cotterpin slot on the spindle without rubbing the chainstay?

What sort of idiot would then correct the problem and fit the cranks before realising he had forgotten the bottom bracket lockring?

Combine this with the broken freewheel lockring and the fact that I almost wrecked the wheel by misunderstanding how the Cyclo derailleur limits were set and almost shifting into the spokes and the fact that I have never made so many mistakes on any of my other rebuilds causes me to come to the conclusion that this bike is in someway jinxed.


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## themosquitoking (22 Mar 2013)

I realised today i had fitted my front winter tyre the wrong way around, no wonder cycling through this winter has been so hard.


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## DooDah (22 Mar 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> I realised today i had fitted my front winter tyre the wrong way around, no wonder cycling through this winter has been so hard.


You would have been good going downhill backwards then


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## themosquitoking (22 Mar 2013)

DooDah said:


> You would have been good going downhill backwards then


It's more relaxing than going downhill forward, you can't see what you're going to crash into.


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## wilko (23 Mar 2013)

I recently posted that I couldn't fit a bottle cage because the boss holes were too small and the bolts didn't fit. Had a proper look this morning and realised the bolts wouldn't fit because there were already bolts fitted in there!!


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## machew (23 Mar 2013)

Sat on the handlebars of a fixie and cycled forwards from my point of view, but backwards from everyone else


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## GrasB (23 Mar 2013)

Kins said:


> So I bought a new bike (to me) from the bay of fleas in mid feb which arrived by courier who had kindly damaged the large chain ring by dropping it from a great height!
> 
> So I have only had middle and small ring. Been so obsessed with sorting it out and getting compensation for a new one that I hadn't thought about anything else on the bike. Today comp arrived so decided to treat myself as well as a new crank and BB, to get a new chain and rear cassette only to find out that the reason I have been struggling up hills in my fat suit is because the cassette is bloody 11-21!
> 
> Serves me right for not checking I suppose.....


Pah... 22-622 tyre, 49t chainring & a 15t 'cassette' & no I didn't walk it


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## RiflemanSmith (23 Mar 2013)

What numpty cycles at night with no hands (on Private road with no traffic round my work) playing with his new phone, then goes over a speed bump unexpectedly and goes flying out of the saddle?


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## Kins (23 Mar 2013)

GrasB said:


> Pah... 22-622 tyre, 49t chainring & a 15t 'cassette' & no I didn't walk it


 
Yeah but you don't live in brecon beacons where *everything* is up hill!


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## GrasB (23 Mar 2013)

Kins said:


> Yeah but you don't live in brecon beacons where *everything* is up hill!


I have successfully raced & TTed on a 11-21 cassette with a 36/52 compact. I only race when I visit a little village in the middle of that small mountain range called The Alps.


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## Mange-tout (24 Mar 2013)

After only 5 miles, fresh from the shop, on my very first MTB I couldn't brake in time (or steer at all) and bike and me landed in the Rochdale canal ..........very smelly, but bike was fine.


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## Mange-tout (24 Mar 2013)

Also, I once turned up on a beginners' MTB day to realise I had forgotten my cycling shoes and had to cycle in what I was wearing................ flip-flops. Think it must have been a warm day if I was wearing flip flops...........remember those days?


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## MossCommuter (24 Mar 2013)

OK, I am going to stop admitting to my total incompetency at some point but until I do...

...today I did the usual chain clean & lube and noticed that the chain (new on 150 miles ago) was threaded outside the derailleur cage at the lower jockey wheel. No wonder it seemed like hard work all last week.


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## Lanzecki (24 Mar 2013)

MossCommuter said:


> OK, I am going to stop admitting to my total incompetency at some point but until I do...
> 
> ...today I did the usual chain clean & lube and noticed that the chain (new on 150 miles ago) was threaded outside the derailleur cage at the lower jockey wheel. No wonder it seemed like hard work all last week.


 
Aww man! That just stupid. Who would do the same as that then take the deraillier to pieces instead of using the quick link.. Oops..


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## katymac (26 Mar 2013)

I was struggling to get up the hills on my usual ride and feeling defeated, so I decided my motivational mantra would be "Don't look at the hill". I was busy not looking at the hill when I road into the back of a parked car. Luckily I wasn't going very many msph so no damage was done.


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## Profpointy (26 Mar 2013)

I'd never do anythign as stupid as after servicing the headset, put the forks back, then scratched my head thinking something looks wrong. Finally it dawned on me that they were upside down ie wheel on top and handlebars underneath. I kid you not.


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## screenman (26 Mar 2013)

Bought some embrocation cream when I was 15, squirted it on my legs and rubbed it all over only to realise it was tub cement. My excuse was the label was written in French.


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## ushills (26 Mar 2013)

screenman said:


> Bought some embrocation cream when I was 15, squirted it on my legs and rubbed it all over only to realise it was tub cement. My excuse was the label was written in French.


Never put embrocation cream onto your chamois, thinking its chamois cream. I now never use either!


----------



## IncoherentJeff (26 Mar 2013)

After adjusting my spd pedals for the 1st time...

Came to stop at a junction left foot releases as expected, right foot seems stuck.
So I put my left foot back on the pedal to give me more leverage to release the right, only to accidentally reclip in my left foot just as I came to a halt.

Queue a slow mo fall over with lots of spectators in cars.
They're now set up correctly


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## Billy Adam (26 Mar 2013)

IncoherentJeff said:


> After adjusting my spd pedals for the 1st time...
> 
> Came to stop at a junction left foot releases as expected, right foot seems stuck.
> So I put my left foot back on the pedal to give me more leverage to release the right, only to accidentally reclip in my left foot just as I came to a halt.
> ...


Never done that


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## Pottsy (27 Mar 2013)

This is my favourite thread.


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## Nigelnaturist (27 Mar 2013)

katymac said:


> I was struggling to get up the hills on my usual ride and feeling defeated, so I decided my motivational mantra would be "Don't look at the hill". I was busy not looking at the hill when I road into the back of a parked car. Luckily I wasn't going very many msph so no damage was done.


Last time I did that I was on a Chopper.


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## Supersuperleeds (31 Mar 2013)

I washed my bike on Friday and took the wheels off as part of the cleaning process. Went out for a ride this morning, just getting back and I notice I hadn't fastened up the quick release on the front wheel, did 10 miles with a loose wheel, very lucky it didn't come off.


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## Kins (7 Apr 2013)

Don't get a lift to a ride in the car and leave your cycling gloves on the roof, not that anyone would! £1.99 gloves from a hardware store on the way had to do........


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## Nigelnaturist (7 Apr 2013)

Never adjusted the saddle and then not tighten it properly.


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## themosquitoking (7 Apr 2013)

Nigelnaturist said:


> Never adjusted the saddle and then not tighten it properly.


I adjusted my saddle on both rides this weekend, i didn't forget to tighten it afterwards but i did keep tightening it while while trying to undo it every time i put my eye level above the saddle. My wrist just changed direction automatically once my head wasn't upside down.


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## shunter (8 Apr 2013)

I had the back wheel loose version - not sure how it came loose or how I managed to 'tighten' it in such a fashion. I did notice the wheel veering to the side when the rear disc brake was applied and after quite a few fast descents the penny finally dropped. It great that the manufacturers have made bikes almost idiot proof. Perhaps they read threads such as this!!


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## Typhon (10 Apr 2013)

I've realised this week that I've been making a silly mistake for some time. When I bought my Triban 3 I felt stretched out and like a lot of people on here, decided to swap my stem for a shorter one (110 for 90). I always had issues with reaching the brakes on the drops though and never knew why. 

Last week I bought a carbon bike and have no problems whatsoever breaking on the drops. I realised why when I got onto the Triban and instinctively got in the same into the same position as the carbon bike - it's slightly too small for me.  So not only was I not stretched out, it was the opposite! I guess I just wasn't used to the low riding position of a road bike and wasn't hunkering down enough. I think a big factor is that I have lost 2 1/2 stone since buying the Triban, which has meant I feel more comfortable hunkering down on the bike. Also I have developed some core muscles in that time so I can hold the position.

I've put the 110mm stem back on. Now that the handlebars are further away I can get my hands properly onto the drops and therefore the brakes. Before my wrists were being pushed against the handlebar and therefore I couldn't get my hands in properly. The bike feels right now. When I've lost some more weight I might even consider a 120mm stem. I also much prefer the handling with the original stem, it was a bit twitchier with the 90. Plus it looks a lot better, a 60cm bike with a 90mm stem didn't look quite right.


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## Stevie Mcluskey (10 Apr 2013)

Spent a week last month tightening up the quick release on the back wheel every other day thinking something was slack until extremely wobbly ride downhill and back brake on punctured tyre wall. Trip to LBS with wheel during lunch break revealed broken back axle. New tyre , inner tube and axle  . On the plus side the quick release skewer was ok


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## Mo1959 (10 Apr 2013)

Stevie Mcluskey said:


> Spent a week last month tightening up the quick release on the back wheel every other day thinking something was slack until extremely wobbly ride downhill and back brake on punctured tyre wall. Trip to LBS with wheel during kunch break revealed broken back axle. New tyre , inner tube and axle  . On the plus side the quick release skewer wa ok


Blimey. Glad it didn't give way when you were going at any speed.


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## Stevie Mcluskey (10 Apr 2013)

Mo1959 said:


> Blimey. Glad it didn't give way when you were going at any speed.


 
Sounds daft to say but probably glad of the puncture making me pull over. Only left me with a mile walk to work but worth it as at least it forced me to get problem checked over.
Not too much danger of anything happening to me at speed  although i was going downhill !!


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## malcermie (10 Apr 2013)

A million years ago as a randy teenager trying to impress a group of girls I decided to ride up fast and lock the back wheel in a wonderful side skid.......unfortunately I was on a friends bike and had forgotten he had one weak hand and had reversed his brake levers!!!! Opps and over the handlebars I go!!!


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## matthat (10 Apr 2013)

malcermie said:


> A million years ago as a randy teenager trying to impress a group of girls I decided to ride up fast and lock the back wheel in a wonderful side skid.......unfortunately I was on a friends bike and had forgotten he had one weak hand and had reversed his brake levers!!!! Opps and over the handlebars I go!!!


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## ACS (10 Apr 2013)

Dropped the back wheel out of the frame because I had a visit. Having disentangled a snagged chain I unintentionally dropped the back of the bike and fragged the gear mech. Bother!


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## RiflemanSmith (24 Apr 2013)

What idiot decides to replace his bottom bracket, puts the bike on the stand wheels and chain off then realises that he doesn't even have a crank puller.


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## MossCommuter (4 May 2013)

I just managed to mess up my Betfair so badly that no matter who wins this snooker match I lose 50p


----------



## deptfordmarmoset (4 May 2013)

I knocked my new TV over onto my laptop yesterday. The laptop won. I now have a new audio-only TV


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## Alan Frame (4 May 2013)

I went into Aldi the other day and bought a pair of shorts which I was quite pleased with, so I went in the following day to buy another pair, no joy sold out.
A helpful shop assistant pointed me in the direction of the next-nearest store so off I pedalled and started looking around on arrival. Couldn't see what I wanted so sought out another assistant, who for some totally unexplained reason was wearing a Lidl badge and pointed me in the direction of the Aldi store just up the road.


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## themosquitoking (4 May 2013)

Alan Frame said:


> I went into Aldi the other day and bought a pair of shorts which I was quite pleased with, so I went in the following day to buy another pair, no joy sold out.
> A helpful shop assistant pointed me in the direction of the next-nearest store so off I pedalled and started looking around on arrival. Couldn't see what I wanted so sought out another assistant, who for some totally unexplained reason was wearing a Lidl badge and pointed me in the direction of the Aldi store just up the road.


I can't tell the difference between them either.


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## malcermie (4 May 2013)

Reminds me of going to a plumbbase shop that was next door to a ladies nail parour! Thought it looked a bit posh for a plumbing shop and the pretty assistant was a bit well dressed! When I asked for a 15mm copper bend she politely pointed to the shop next door!!


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## Kins (6 May 2013)

No one would get a new rear rack, start to put it on then realise it had no fixing bolts so go to his local LBS to get some. Then once its all done, remove the last of the protective covering and find the bag of fixing screws hidden on the back of one would they?


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## XRHYSX (6 May 2013)

You would never catch me get up at 5.30 on a bank holiday, make a picnic for 5, make up five water bottles, fit the bike rack on the car and load up the bikes, get the kids up and dressed, fight with my daughter why she cant wear her princess dress, herd everyone into the car, let the boy back into the house to go to the toilet, set off for a 40 min drive, get all the bikes off the car, load my bike up with the panniers, lock the car, go to jump on my bike to find I'm still wearing my farkING slippers!!!


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## Finnjävel (6 May 2013)

I stripped the threads from my seat clamp, at 11.15 pm, 20 km away from home with almost no battery in my mobile. All I needed were some restless natives and/or a biologically unlikely monster and I would have had a proper movie situation.


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## hopless500 (6 May 2013)

I decided to try slime in my tyres. Got some into the front one. Pumped it up. Realised as I was about to do the rear that there was more than half of it left. Left the front tyre re-deflating. Squirted slime into rear tyre. Squirted a bit more into front tyre. Started pumping up rear tyre. 10 seconds later there is an explosion. There is green goo dripping off my (just cleaned) bike. Off the trailer it is leaning against. Off the nearest cat  (ok, not really). I decided to check indoors in a mirror. It was dripping off my hair and all down my face. Fortunately I couldn't find a camera or my phone to take a picture 
Trouble is, because I'd gone back to top up the front tyre, there wasn't really much left to go into the newly inner-tubed back tyre  Next time I pump up a tyre, I must remember it is a good idea to check there isn't a bit poking out that's got trapped........


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## themosquitoking (6 May 2013)

hopless500 said:


> I decided to try slime in my tyres. Got some into the front one. Pumped it up. Realised as I was about to do the rear that there was more than half of it left. Left the front tyre re-deflating. Squirted slime into rear tyre. Squirted a bit more into front tyre. Started pumping up rear tyre. 10 seconds later there is an explosion. There is green goo dripping off my (just cleaned) bike. Off the trailer it is leaning against. Off the nearest cat  (ok, not really). I decided to check indoors in a mirror. It was dripping off my hair and all down my face. Fortunately I couldn't find a camera or my phone to take a picture
> Trouble is, because I'd gone back to top up the front tyre, there wasn't really much left to go into the newly inner-tubed back tyre  Next time I pump up a tyre, I must remember it is a good idea to check there isn't a bit poking out that's got trapped........


 
For this reason i buy the pre-filled ones.


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## Lanzecki (6 May 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> For this reason i buy the pre-filled ones.


 
With air? Why didn't I know about these when i bought my track pump? I wouldn't have bought it if I'd known. 

Talking of wallys


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## themosquitoking (6 May 2013)

Lanzecki said:


> With air? Why didn't I know about these when i bought my track pump? I wouldn't have bought it if I'd known.
> 
> Talking of wallys


They're not technically pre-filled, you put them on the wheel then in the tyre then pull the little cord out of the valve and hey presto an inflated tyre.


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## Lanzecki (6 May 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> They're not technically pre-filled, you put them on the wheel then in the tyre then pull the little cord out of the valve and hey presto an inflated tyre.


 
Ahh like a self inflating life vest. I've got an anti gravity saddle on the way, I'll have to see if I can add on some of those....

*Edited to make sense.


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## themosquitoking (6 May 2013)

Lanzecki said:


> Ahh like a self inflating life vest. I've got an anti gravity saddle in the way, I'll have to see if I can add on some of those....


I always go for the helium filled ones, they need inflating more often but they help with rolling resistance.


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## Scoosh (6 May 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> I always go for the helium filled ones, they need inflating more often but they help with rolling resistance.


They make you lighter too !


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## Kins (6 May 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> I always go for the helium filled ones, they need inflating more often but they help with rolling resistance.


 
And you can fly if someone sets it on fire!


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## hopless500 (7 May 2013)

themosquitoking said:


> For this reason i buy the pre-filled ones.


Well, I probably will next time I need a new inner tube. I just thought I'd give it a try with the current ones


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## Alan57 (7 May 2013)

Riding up the hill near my house on my MTB , couldn`t understand why I could not shift on the front mech , cursed the f***ing bike. life and everything in between. Things always go wrong on a hill I thought wondering what the hell was wrong , mech buggered , cable snapped, stretched, only to find when I got off and looked that i`d pulled the cable out of the stop on the frame when cleaning it the day before so it was totally slack. Too much elbow grease and not enough thought and care !


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## Rickshaw Phil (7 May 2013)

Kins said:


> And you can fly if someone sets it on fire!


 Slight confusion with Hydrogen I suspect.


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## Kins (7 May 2013)

Rickshaw Phil said:


> Slight confusion with Hydrogen I suspect.


 
Sush, starts with an H!


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## RiflemanSmith (10 Jun 2013)

On Saturday night riding to the the start at Ally Pally for this years Night rider, I was looking down at the course on my Garmin and rode straight into the back of a parked lorry at 14 Mph.
I hit the lorry so hard I was stunned, surprisingly the bike faired very well, broken left shifter and scuff makes on the other one few scratches here and there and the handle bars went out of alignment but the front wheel was not buckled or bent.
I had to do the whole 74 miles on the little chain ring and with just the front brake, what a numpty!


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## mcshroom (10 Jun 2013)

When I got back into cycling I went and bought a MTB from decathlon and tried to put it in the boot of my car to get it home. It wouldn't fit. I then tried to remove the front wheel, so I undid the QR skewer and pulled it out - but it wouldn't budge. For the next ten minutes (stood in the rain) I struggled with this wheel trying to force it out but it wouldn't budge. Then one of the store staff walked up and unclipped the v-brake


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## Kins (10 Jun 2013)

RiflemanSmith said:


> On Saturday night riding to the the start at Ally Pally for this years Night rider, I was looking down at the course on my Garmin and rode straight into the back of a parked lorry at 14 Mph.
> I hit the lorry so hard I was stunned, surprisingly the bike faired very well, broken left shifter and scuff makes on the other one few scratches here and there and the handle bars went out of alignment but the front wheel was not buckled or bent.
> I had to do the whole 74 miles on the little chain ring and with just the front brake, what a numpty!


 

Jesus, glad you were ok.


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## Rickshaw Phil (10 Jun 2013)

RiflemanSmith said:


> On Saturday night riding to the the start at Ally Pally for this years Night rider, I was looking down at the course on my Garmin and rode straight into the back of a parked lorry at 14 Mph.
> I hit the lorry so hard I was stunned, surprisingly the bike faired very well, broken left shifter and scuff makes on the other one few scratches here and there and the handle bars went out of alignment but the front wheel was not buckled or bent.
> I had to do the whole 74 miles on the little chain ring and with just the front brake, what a numpty!


 You were lucky to get away without more serious damage (and I mean to you not the bike).

Fair play carrying on with the ride after that.


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## Puddles (10 Jun 2013)

First as an explanation as to what "little & "Large" are....







So #1 why I do not love cycling today. "Little" does not have a uppy bit in boot, so when you brake everything flys out the back on to road

#2 The pump broke when i really needed it causing me to have to come home & restart journey.

#3 in my haste to get off again & having had to use car tyre pump I left car keys in car door & had to come home again!

#4 Changed from Little to Large due to boot issue I clanked round corners I had forgotten to put spacer back on after wheel clean- home again

#5 Trailer hitch then played silly buggers with wheel alignment - back home again to adjust & tighten

#6 After arriving at beach then setting off to ice cream stall, trailer detaches from bike (safety line works along with nut thing

#7 All bike tools in "Little" I had forgotten to move them to "Large" so nothing with me to fix, trailer then attached by safety line

Hero of the Day The Tractor/Maintenance type man from Royal Victoria Country Park who put my nut & trailer hitch back on bike and fixed all - thanks


----------



## screenman (10 Jun 2013)

Once spread the tub cement on instead of the embrocation cream prior to a cross race in 1971.


----------



## jonny jeez (11 Jun 2013)

Looking for the click in my rear bearing whilst I sailed into the back of a waiting car.


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## RiflemanSmith (11 Jun 2013)

Rickshaw Phil said:


> You were lucky to get away without more serious damage (and I mean to you not the bike).
> 
> Fair play carrying on with the ride after that.


 
To be honest I would have rather had an injury than damage to the bike, I just have bad bruising to my should and leg.


----------



## Charlote (11 Jun 2013)

I'm glad it's not just me that has their "moments"


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## steve52 (11 Jun 2013)

not me , but my daughter, put my grandaughters chain back on, left her finger in the way traping it, the tooth on the chainring went through the finger tip and through the nail,she couldent free it and had to send grandaughter to get help,i cant say how much this hurt me and i am 150 miles away.


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## Charlote (11 Jun 2013)

steve52 said:


> not me , but my daughter, put my grandaughters chain back on, left her finger in the way traping it, the tooth on the chainring went through the finger tip and through the nail,she couldent free it and had to send grandaughter to get help,i cant say how much this hurt me and i am 150 miles away.


 

Ouch!!


----------



## Cubist (11 Jun 2013)

My lad was building his first bike under my tutelage and I watched him put the non-drive side crank on the same way as the drive side. I blurted it out, but on reflection it would have been far funnier to watch him take it for its test ride. I was still ribbing him about it until I screwed the right hand pedal on from the left hand side of the bike with the pedal facing inwards.


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## themosquitoking (11 Jun 2013)

steve52 said:


> not me , but my daughter, put my grandaughters chain back on, left her finger in the way traping it, the tooth on the chainring went through the finger tip and through the nail,she couldent free it and had to send grandaughter to get help,i cant say how much this hurt me and i am 150 miles away.


 
That sounds horrible, if i was slightly more sadistic i would post up a photo of something similar i did to my finger and nail not long ago. I hope your daughter doesn't have to go and have done what they did to me. Best wishes.


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## Alan Frame (2 Sep 2013)

Entering the busiest roundabout in my area I got into the saddle from a standstill and managed to hook the rear of my rather baggy jersey onto the nose of the saddle.

This was not just a simple snag but a full-on, forcible pull which resulted in me being throttled at the front as the neck was pulled rearwards.

No matter how hard I struggled would anything come free and I couldn't even sit down due to the tension. All this against a background of an extremely busy roundabout and me trying to turn right.

Finally I woke up to the fact that if I unzipped the jersey at the front I would be able to breathe again, not immediately realizing that after doing so and sitting down the rear of my jersey would try to join the part of the jersey still trapped on the saddle I was now sitting on. And a very fetching plunging rear neckline it was too.

I stopped shortly afterwards to get dressed again and consoled myself with the thought that whilst I must have looked a complete wally, at least I had managed to do all the required hand signals in my manoeuvres.


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## DW1 (2 Sep 2013)

Just time to go for a quick evening bike ride, 15 miles. Can't find my pump, still chances of a puncture slim. Puncture at almost exactly the half way point. And for good measure no mobile phone. Still it was a warm night as I walked the bike back to the house about midnight !


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## hopless500 (2 Sep 2013)

Alan Frame said:


> Entering the busiest roundabout in my area I got into the saddle from a standstill and managed to hook the rear of my rather baggy jersey onto the nose of the saddle.
> 
> This was not just a simple snag but a full-on, forcible pull which resulted in me being throttled at the front as the neck was pulled rearwards.
> 
> ...



Practically crying with laughter. Thank you


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## KneesUp (2 Sep 2013)

Two front-brake related bits of advice

1) If your friend has a bike which, for reasons unknown, has brakes connected back to front, do not forget this when playing 'who can ride around the block fastest and do the biggest skid' I would imagine that if you did, you'd go sailing over the handlebars, which would hurt almost as much as if your friend's bike then hit you on the back of the head.

2) If you have rubbish Weinman brakes on your first road bike that never seem to centre properly, don't just slacken off the nut that holds them to the forks. If you do that, what may happen is that you may notice the nut drop off as you ride and you might then be tempted to brake to collect it. At that point, you might find that the front calliper will grip the wheel and pull straight off. It could then rotate with the wheel briefly until the slack has been taken out of the cable and then pull the handlebars violently to one side causing you - yet again - to go over the bars and lie in the gutter as you watch your bike computer skip across the road like a stone on water before being run over by a Nissan Cherry. 

I'm happy to report that my cycling has never been blighted by such incidents.


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## azraphale (2 Sep 2013)

i once ordered a bike from halfords  thank fully 2 months on and they still havent phoned to tell me its in store


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## jayjay (3 Sep 2013)

Lanzecki said:


> Aww man! That just stupid. Who would do the same as that then take the deraillier to pieces instead of using the quick link.. Oops..


 
Probably the same dummy who left the thing rattling around the outside for several hundred miles


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