# Things that don't belong in a Garden



## icowden (5 Jul 2022)

Does anyone else really dislike some things / plants / trees being in a garden?

My example is Palm Trees in British gardens. I just don't like it. I don't understand why anyone would want one. They aren't a normal part of British flora. If you want a Palm tree, go on holiday. That's where they belong. It really irritates the tiny little Englander part of my psyche that I try to keep silent and well behaved. 

I realise that my irritation is irrational, unjustified and pointless. I just wondered if anyone else has irrational, unjustified and pointless dislikes of odd garden choices!


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## Sittingduck (5 Jul 2022)

Screaming children


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## vickster (5 Jul 2022)

Sittingduck said:


> Screaming children



Just children frankly


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## Tom... (5 Jul 2022)

Gnomes!


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## Tail End Charlie (5 Jul 2022)

In no particular order

Gnomes
Monkey puzzle trees
Hot tubs
Pampas grass
Those twee windmill/ dog/ zombie concrete cast things
Twee signs eg "the dog's OK beware of the kids"
Leylandii

I'm sure others will come to mind.


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## PK99 (5 Jul 2022)

Errm, the majority of Garden Plants are non-native.... 
Lupins = North American
Most rose species = Asian 
Apple originated in Cental asia
Agapanthus = South Africa
Red hot poker = Southern & Cental Africa


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## T4tomo (5 Jul 2022)

grumpy feckers moaning about what is in other peoples gardens?


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## icowden (5 Jul 2022)

PK99 said:


> Errm, the majority of Garden Plants are non-native....


True, but they *feel* native. They fit in. They don't come over here with their fancy leaves going "look this house is a tropical paradise in Penge".


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## icowden (5 Jul 2022)

Tail End Charlie said:


> Gnomes
> Monkey puzzle trees
> Hot tubs
> Pampas grass
> ...


I'm with you on the Monkey puzzle tree. I don't mind *seeing* a leylandii or similar tree but I don't like them (and I include my own hedges in that) because they are so hard to maintain and can't be cut back).


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## PeteXXX (5 Jul 2022)

Cat 💩, especially in long grass when whipped up with a strimmer..


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## Ian H (5 Jul 2022)

icowden said:


> Does anyone else really dislike some things / plants / trees being in a garden?
> 
> My example is Palm Trees in British gardens. I just don't like it. I don't understand why anyone would want one. They aren't a normal part of British flora. If you want a Palm tree, go on holiday. That's where they belong. It really irritates the tiny little Englander part of my psyche that I try to keep silent and well behaved.
> 
> I realise that my irritation is irrational, unjustified and pointless. I just wondered if anyone else has irrational, unjustified and pointless dislikes of odd garden choices!



Those 'palm trees', commonly known as Torbay Palms, are actually New Zealand Cabbage trees (Cordyline). I believe they were a Victorian import along with Monkey-Puzzle trees. E cut one down in the small front garden of her London house, then tried to poison it as it continued to sprout shoots. It would not die. She sold the house.


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## MichaelW2 (5 Jul 2022)

Japanese Knotweed
Japanese Pagodas
Japanese Cherry Trees
Japanese Zen


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## GuyBoden (5 Jul 2022)

Cats that kill baby birds and all of the small mammals are a pet hate of mine.


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## geocycle (5 Jul 2022)

Plastic grass, and cars.


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## raleighnut (5 Jul 2022)

Yapping little dogs

"Yes you're right love he is a little Shitzu"


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## pawl (5 Jul 2022)

Bamboo


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## MontyVeda (5 Jul 2022)

+1 for the UK palm tree... although I suppose on the Cornish Riviera, they're OK.
+1 for the monkey puzzle tree... ugly things
+1 for trampolines... has anyone mentioned trampolines yet?
+1 for plastic grass. My mother's NDN has a wonderful example...






The wife does keep it very well planted with a resplendent display which does draw the eye away from the plastic grass that looks like it was half-inched from a greengrocers' window display. The blue painted tiles I just can't get my head around. Their back garden features even more blue stuff, such as a wooden bridge that crosses absolutely nothing


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## icowden (5 Jul 2022)

MontyVeda said:


> +1 for plastic grass. My mother's NDN has a wonderful example...


My neighbours have plastic grass. They let their dogs crap on it and leave the stuff there for days on end. Makes me shudder just thinking about it. If they move out (please God!) my first act of kindness to the new neighbours will be to advise them to bin the stuff or give it a *very* deep clean!


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## Chromatic (5 Jul 2022)

icowden said:


> Does anyone else really dislike some things / plants / trees being in a garden?
> 
> My example is Palm Trees in British gardens. I just don't like it. I don't understand why anyone would want one. They aren't a normal part of British flora. If you want a Palm tree, go on holiday. That's where they belong. It really irritates the tiny little Englander part of my psyche that I try to keep silent and well behaved.
> 
> I realise that my irritation is irrational, unjustified and pointless. I just wondered if anyone else has irrational, unjustified and pointless dislikes of odd garden choices!




Don't tell @Accy cyclist!


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## iandg (5 Jul 2022)

My son's rusting BMW. He got a degree work placement on Knoydart in 2018 and left it with me for 2 months. Been working there ever since and not needed it and not been back to sell it.


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## oldwheels (5 Jul 2022)

I actually have no objection to monkey puzzle trees as they were a feature of my childhood around old estate gardens and the same goes for bamboo.
Rhododendrons are another matter and I applaud efforts to get rid of them as they are very invasive.
Quite a lot of vegetables grown here now were actually imported originally by the Romans but I still eat them.


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## annedonnelly (5 Jul 2022)

Plastic trees that are in flower all year round!

I do like it when "weeds" push their way up through a plastic lawn


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## Randomnerd (5 Jul 2022)

What a bunch of miseries!


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## PK99 (5 Jul 2022)

oldwheels said:


> I actually have no objection to monkey puzzle trees as they were a feature of my childhood around old estate gardens and the same goes for bamboo.
> Rhododendrons are another matter and I applaud efforts to get rid of them as they are very invasive.
> Quite a lot of vegetables grown here now were actually imported originally by the Romans but I still eat them.



The species R.ponticum is invasive. Garden varieties are not.


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## Gwylan (5 Jul 2022)

With you all the way on most of these.

Other people's cats who think my clean, tidy garden is missing a dump from them! 
They, the cats, have come to understand it is not smart to get caught near my garden.


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## Gwylan (5 Jul 2022)

Fridges, settees, cars with grass up to the doors, facile signs, children - unless set in concrete, gnomes, works of debatable art, led lights that don't work, led lights that work, anything fairy, garden gnomes fermenting dog doo,


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## fossyant (5 Jul 2022)

Tom... said:


> Gnomes!



This in spades/sledge hammers


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## Accy cyclist (5 Jul 2022)

icowden said:


> My example is Palm Trees in British gardens. I just don't like it. I don't understand why anyone would want one. They aren't a normal part of British flora. If you want a Palm tree, go on holiday. That's where they belong. It really irritates the tiny little Englander part of my psyche that I try to keep silent and well behaved


Ok, they aren't native to these shores, but so what, they look good! If I had my way, councils would be encouraged to plant palm trees in parks, on grass verges, in cemeteries etc etc to make us feel a little happier. I asked the vicar of the church up the road last year if he'd let me plant my 2 palm trees in the church grounds. He thanked me for offering my trees, but declined saying they wouldn't look right. That's only because folk aren't used to seeing such things. After a while they'd get used to it. Just like we would if they were planted in parks, cemeteries etc.


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## Chislenko (5 Jul 2022)

Settees.


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## Seevio (5 Jul 2022)

Elephants.


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## FishFright (5 Jul 2022)

Randomnerd said:


> What a bunch of miseries!



I don't like that and want it stopped is the new middle class mantra.


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## slowmotion (6 Jul 2022)

Old mattresses and fridges.
EDIT: Apologies. Better people than me beat me to it.


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## slowmotion (6 Jul 2022)

Car batteries, old tyres, sump oil. Buried relatives. Police forensic tents and circling drones.


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## Accy cyclist (6 Jul 2022)

Have trampolines been mentioned yet? They are bad enough when new and being used, but when they become abandoned with torn side netting and rusty frames and sometimes used to dry the washing on, they become a horrible sight!


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## Accy cyclist (6 Jul 2022)

There was a rusting very old Ford Zephyr (1970 H reg' I think) in the front garden of a local council house for years. In fact it might still be there. Not only was it rusting, it was also covered in moss and mold and even had trees growing out of it. It'd also sank half a wheel into the turf, it'd been there that long. What happened to the now a housing association's tenancy agreement about keeping your home up to acceptable standards I wonder?


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## T4tomo (6 Jul 2022)

GuyBoden said:


> Cats that kill baby birds and all of the small mammals are a pet hate of mine.



Or a hated pet...

Nature is cruel mistress


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

Chislenko said:


> Settees.



??? or are you talking garden furniture??


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## Chislenko (6 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> ??? or are you talking garden furniture??



No mate, when you walk around certain estates in Britain you will often find them in people's front gardens for them to sit outside in the summer.

https://images.app.goo.gl/vaJ6D7hg3qzZRFi97


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## oldwheels (6 Jul 2022)

PK99 said:


> The species R.ponticum is invasive. Garden varieties are not.



I learn something new here every day. I was not aware of that as most were introduced to gardens on large estates.


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

Chislenko said:


> https://images.app.goo.gl/vaJ6D7hg3qzZRFi97



i would say those pictures are more of settes being thrown out for new ones rather than put out for summer seating....it does cost money to get them removed and some people cant afford that money. so they put them outside, hoping that they will be taken by someone else within a few days........but it does look a mess


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## Sterlo (6 Jul 2022)

Me!


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## MontyVeda (6 Jul 2022)

Randomnerd said:


> What a bunch of miseries!


...said the bloke with a potted palm on his plastic lawn


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## cyberknight (6 Jul 2022)

people who watch footie on a tv outside getting pissed and assume the whole street wants to hear the broadcast


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## Chislenko (6 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> i would say those pictures are more of settes being thrown out for new ones rather than put out for summer seating....it does cost money to get them removed and some people cant afford that money. so they put them outside, hoping that they will be taken by someone else within a few days........but it does look a mess



Yes they were just example photos I could find on the net.

I have on my walks seen a number of settees which are permanently stationed in people's front gardens for them to sit out during the summer.

How can I delicately put this without offending anyone, they are usually to be found in the front gardens of houses which are rented from the local authority and where the people have a lot of time on their hands to sit out and drink cans.


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## Tom... (6 Jul 2022)

Artificial hanging baskets


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

Chislenko said:


> Yes they were just example photos I could find on the net.
> 
> I have on my walks seen a number of settees which are permanently stationed in people's front gardens for them to sit out during the summer.
> 
> How can I delicately put this without offending anyone, they are usually to be found in the front gardens of houses which are rented from the local authority and where the people have a lot of time on their hands to sit out and drink cans.



not much delicacey in there im afraid......but a good dose of stereo typing.


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## Ming the Merciless (6 Jul 2022)

Ballerinas


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## Poacher (6 Jul 2022)

oldwheels said:


> Quite a lot of vegetables grown here now were actually imported originally by the Romans but I still eat them.


Do you fancy a few days holiday in sunny Nottingham and all the ground elder you can eat?


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## MontyVeda (6 Jul 2022)

Tom... said:


> Artificial hanging baskets



or even worse...


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## Tom... (6 Jul 2022)

MontyVeda said:


> or even worse...
> View attachment 651645



Exactly the type I meant... hideous!


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## matticus (6 Jul 2022)

Ming the Merciless said:


> Ballerinas



Now that you've conjured up the idea, I'm starting to like it ...


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## matticus (6 Jul 2022)

Back to palm trees ... I like them on the South Coast. Inland, they do look a bit odd.

Quite fancy a Sequoia sempervirens myself. They seem to thrive in fairly British climates, no?


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## lazybloke (6 Jul 2022)

An infinity of slugs


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## figbat (6 Jul 2022)

matticus said:


> Quite fancy a Sequoia sempervirens myself. They seem to thrive in fairly British climates, no?



We have several mature sequoias in the formal gardens of the place that I work (Oxon/Berks border). It was originally a privately-owned estate and the gardens contain a number of imported specimens, a display of wealth from the end of the Victorian age.


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## icowden (6 Jul 2022)

Accy cyclist said:


> Ok, they aren't native to these shores, but so what, they look good!


Sorry Accy - I'll have to beg to differ on that one! I can't get enthused by a stick with some fronds at the top.


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## raleighnut (6 Jul 2022)

Chislenko said:


> Yes they were just example photos I could find on the net.
> 
> I have on my walks seen a number of settees which are permanently stationed in people's front gardens for them to sit out during the summer.
> 
> How can I delicately put this without offending anyone, they are usually to be found in the front gardens of houses which are rented from the local authority and where the people have a lot of time on their hands to sit out and drink cans.



Yep very often they have a Dyson out there too, presumably so they can hoover up the ash from their spliffs.


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## Asa Post (6 Jul 2022)

Decking

Barbecues

Wooden fences


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

Asa Post said:


> Decking
> 
> Barbecues
> 
> Wooden fences



were would you have a BBQ then and what fences would you fit??


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## MichaelW2 (6 Jul 2022)

cyberknight said:


> people who watch footie on a tv outside getting pissed and assume the whole street wants to hear the broadcast



I don't mind the thwack of leather on willow coming from my neighbour's wireless radiogramme , or the ping of felt on cat-gut. What ruins it is the asynchronous DAB broadcast of lagging echos. Can we PLEASE listen to analogue radio in our gardens!!!!!


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## Beebo (6 Jul 2022)

Asa Post said:


> Decking
> 
> Barbecues
> 
> Wooden fences



Wooden fences? 
That’s a tricky one for more people with small gardens. Hedges take up lots of room and require upkeep.


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## oldwheels (6 Jul 2022)

Poacher said:


> Do you fancy a few days holiday in sunny Nottingham and all the ground elder you can eat?



Got plenty of my own as well as Jerusalem Artichokes which are getting out of hand.


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## FishFright (6 Jul 2022)

Accy cyclist said:


> There was a rusting very old Ford Zephyr (1970 H reg' I think) in the front garden of a local council house for years. In fact it might still be there. Not only was it rusting, it was also covered in moss and mold and even had trees growing out of it. It'd also sank half a wheel into the turf, it'd been there that long. What happened to the now a housing association's tenancy agreement about keeping your home up to acceptable standards I wonder?



It could be on Cars & Classics - Needs light restoration , ran when parked.


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## Ming the Merciless (6 Jul 2022)

Television crews


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## cyberknight (6 Jul 2022)

MichaelW2 said:


> I don't mind the thwack of leather on willow coming from my neighbour's wireless radiogramme , or the ping of felt on gatgut. What ruins it is the asynchronous DAB broadcast of lagging echos. Can we PLEASE listen to analogue radio in our gardens!!!!!



dont get me wrong of course they are allowed to watch tv in their garden and what they like i just dont like the fact that they must be stone deaf or dont give a fig about anyone else


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## matticus (6 Jul 2022)

Ming the Merciless said:


> Television crews



Crime scene tape.


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## Randomnerd (6 Jul 2022)

MontyVeda said:


> ...said the bloke with a potted palm on his plastic lawn


Think you’ve got the wrong parishioner, old fruit. 

No lawn here. Certainly no plastic lawn.

Nor potted palm.

Maybe you’re being ironic….


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## Ming the Merciless (6 Jul 2022)

matticus said:


> Crime scene tape.



Chalk outline


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## Randomnerd (6 Jul 2022)

Randomnerd said:


> Think you’ve got the wrong parishioner, old fruit.
> 
> No lawn here. Certainly no plastic lawn.
> 
> ...



Is a hug an apology?


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## keithmac (6 Jul 2022)

It's amazing how many people weren't children themselves, must have been born adults.. or cloned.


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

I have a tv in my garden………..


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## MontyVeda (6 Jul 2022)

is it a beer garden?


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## matticus (6 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> I have a tv in my garden………..



I'm so sorry


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

MontyVeda said:


> is it a beer garden?



Having not drunk for 15ish years……no. Its just my own garden


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## MontyVeda (6 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> Having not drunk for 15ish years……no. Its just my own garden



well it's just wrong then innit


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## jowwy (6 Jul 2022)

MontyVeda said:


> well it's just wrong then innit



Why is it???


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## Bonefish Blues (6 Jul 2022)

Because opinion?


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## Randomnerd (7 Jul 2022)

IDHATV


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## pawl (7 Jul 2022)

Me


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## lazybloke (7 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> I have a tv in my garden………..
> 
> View attachment 651734


Just changed channels from:
Ground Force
S**t in the attic
Going for Gold
All of the above


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## fossyant (7 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> I have a tv in my garden………..
> 
> View attachment 651734



I am hoping to have 80-100" projected screen shorty, for movies etc. Currently just either take the laptop out into the garden, or laptop and a 23" monitor. Picked up a used ultra short throw (but very bright) Epson projector for £38 off ebay - just awaiting it to arrive, then will sort out a temporary screen to use when we fancy a movie outside.


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## jowwy (7 Jul 2022)

fossyant said:


> I am hoping to have 80-100" projected screen shorty, for movies etc. Currently just either take the laptop out into the garden, or laptop and a 23" monitor. Picked up a used ultra short throw (but very bright) Epson projector for £38 off ebay - just awaiting it to arrive, then will sort out a temporary screen to use when we fancy a movie outside.



That will be awesome fossy…..dont forget the sound system, so its ultra loud when watching the footy and smoking weed


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## fossyant (7 Jul 2022)

jowwy said:


> That will be awesome fossy…..dont forget the sound system, so its ultra loud when watching the footy and smoking weed



Got two Soundcore Motion Booms for that. It's an old classroom projector, just under full HD - 800 vertical pixels rather than 1080, but it's 3,300 real lumen so should be OK in the garden in the shade. Ideally roof mounted but will work off a table next to the screen. Just got to find a suitable screen when I get it - we'll project onto a sheet hanging off the roll out sun shade first. Just got to work out a suitable place as the projector needs to be no further than 12-18" from the screen.


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## Ming the Merciless (7 Jul 2022)

A giant duck


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## fossyant (7 Jul 2022)

Daisies - they belong in your neighbour's lawn !


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## slowmotion (8 Jul 2022)

Have we done leaf blowers?


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## Grant Fondo (8 Jul 2022)

I quite like palms, got two and they look ok next to a silver birch


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## slowmotion (9 Jul 2022)

One of your neighbours' Russian Vine.

Get some agricultural-grade Roundup, spray it on and watch it die, all the way back to its source which may be fifty yards away or more.


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## lazybloke (10 Jul 2022)

slowmotion said:


> One of your neighbours' Russian Vine.
> 
> Get some agricultural-grade Roundup, spray it on and watch it die, all the way back to its source which may be fifty yards away or more.



Is that what gallup is? My better half came up with big angry blisters just from splashing a few droplets of that on her arm.
It had been diluted


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## slowmotion (10 Jul 2022)

lazybloke said:


> Is that what gallup is? My better half came up with big angry blisters just from splashing a few droplets of that on her arm.
> It had been diluted



I'm not an expert on herbicides, I'm afraid, but the product that you mentioned sounds promising.


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## kayakerles (10 Jul 2022)

From my side of the pond… Was out yesterday with a friend and we had to stop and back up the vehicle to take a picture of this one. For everyone’s enjoyment here... perhaps these posts should have more beautiful pics like this ones to grace our CC pages with things we hate seeing in other peoples' yards! Slight obsession going here! 🤪


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## slowmotion (10 Jul 2022)

^^^^^ Top marks. 
The world would be a much duller place without enthusiasts.


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## keithmac (8 Aug 2022)

lazybloke said:


> Is that what gallup is? My better half came up with big angry blisters just from splashing a few droplets of that on her arm.
> It had been diluted



Gallup XL is potent stuff, bought a 5l tub but should last a while!.

Don't think it's pet safe though.


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