# Convincing the missus...



## dhd.evans (23 Aug 2012)

I've got a wee lad, about 15 months, whom i'd love to take out on my bike on a bike seat.

I've got a bike seat (stored elsewhere), and will purchase a helmet for him (don't start a helmet debate here) in due course.

Now, the missus is vehemently against me taking him on out the bike. Under any circumstances (apparently suggesting that the zombie apocalpyse, due to happen, will render most transport except the bike redundant is considered 'absurd'). Does anyone have any ideas on how to convince the other half that it's safe and fun? Consider that she doesn't cycle whatsoever and I would only ever really take him for a few miles on a cycle path.


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## Scruffmonster (23 Aug 2012)

Take him out when she's not around. Her firm 'no' holds no greater merit than your desire to do so.

You taking him out is the equivalent of her saying No. She's already done that, and you haven't done so for x number of days. So you taking him only balances the situation.

Children love bikes. Be sensible, be safe, he'll thrive, she'll see that. Just don't say 'I told you so'. That makes you a 'nana.


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## Lee_M (23 Aug 2012)

unfortunately you wont convince her, she's a mum and is bound to be convinced that her child will die.

You can either be disappointed, or disappoint her, there isnt any middle ground when he's that age


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## compo (23 Aug 2012)

How would your wife react to a kiddie trailer?


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## Scruffmonster (23 Aug 2012)

compo said:


> How would your wife react to a kiddie trailer?


 
She probably wouldn't fit. They're not the roomiest of things.


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## Arsen Gere (23 Aug 2012)

Wait until he is bad tempered and howling. She'll be glad to see the back of him. Kids love being on the back and you can suggest it as a calming activity for him, you doing a good turn for both of them.


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## Octet (23 Aug 2012)

I think the first step in this would be to get her on a bike... might be difficult though, I have however heard that a pair of diamond earrings work miracles.

On a serious note, are there any parks which you could take the whole family out to, and then she can watch as you do a couple of circuits near her. She shall then see that it is OK and safe, and should hopefully let you take him on your bicycle a bit more, and then a bit more etc.


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## Scruffmonster (23 Aug 2012)

Octet said:


> I think the first step in this would be to get her on a bike... might be difficult though, I have however heard that a pair of diamond earrings work miracles.


 
Buy experiences not things.

Your child will get more out of a ride on the bike with dad than a new pair of jeans, shoes, toy, pretty much anything.

Sling a small rucksack on, on an idle Sunday morning, put Jr on the back, shoot off for a 20 minute round trip to the corner shop, buy a newspaper for you, a magazine for her and a treat for the little man. Don't build it into an event. It's a tiny thing. Do it, then do it more. You'll get so much out of it.


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## biggs682 (23 Aug 2012)

Arsen Gere said:


> Wait until he is bad tempered and howling. She'll be glad to see the back of him. Kids love being on the back and you can suggest it as a calming activity for him, you doing a good turn for both of them.


 i was never allowed to take my daughter any where near bikes till much later


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## Nigel-YZ1 (23 Aug 2012)

Friend of mine took up mountain biking. He's a regular on the TPT with his little lad in a baby seat.


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## Lynnderella (23 Aug 2012)

Can you get your wife into cycling? Then she is on side!! My husband persuaded me to get a cheap hybrid last year to give it a go. I am now fairly obsessed with all things cycling, and have recently upgarded my starter bike for a Trek hybrid, which I love like a brother!|
Worth a try I say!!


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## David Garside (23 Aug 2012)

When my two were young (7 years apart) I had motorbikes. When I came home from work they'd run to the end of the road and I'd put them on my tank and ride them to the house. When they were about 8 they could sit on the back and reach the footrests and they started going out for rides with me.
My wife was quite happy about that...although she herself used to regularly go on the back.
I think when your wife sees that they're safe (maybe on a short ride in the local park) she'll agree to them going with you.
Good luck.


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## 400bhp (24 Aug 2012)

Get the bike out-stick the child seat on. Stick the child in. Ride around the block. Shout the wife to come outside and look. Show her that's she's fussing about nothing.


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## ianrauk (24 Aug 2012)

400bhp said:


> Get the bike out-stick the child seat on. Stick the child in. Ride around the block. Shout the wife to come outside and look. Show her that's she's fussing about nothing.


 

Exactly, let her see the little ones face of enjoyment


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## dhd.evans (31 Aug 2012)

Lee_M said:


> unfortunately you wont convince her, she's a mum and is bound to be convinced that her child will die.
> 
> You can either be disappointed, or disappoint her, there isnt any middle ground when he's that age


 
This is all convincing stuff. Most reponses are men responses ("Just do it, accept the consequences") which i'm right on board with. Christ, she just about threw me out for eating the last Kitkat the other night, how bad could it get? Being that the summer is slowly slipping away I may take the wee man out over the next few weekends. The child seat is at my parent's place and I'll have my excuses to take the bike round ("Oh, got to wash the bike up there because they've got a hose!") and will, in tandem, take the wee man up -and out- for a ride.

Regarding trying to get her on a bike.... never going to happen. She was staunchly against it before and since i was wiped out by a car earlier in the year (separate shoulder, lots of bruising and scuffs, general manly whinging) she has found her excuse not to ever get on a bike. Which is fine because i'll get my son into cycling and have someone to ride with!


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## I like Skol (31 Aug 2012)

Take a look at this thread. I cycled with both my kids in a seat including our 'commute' twice a week on the busy main roads. We would ride about 5 miles to a gymtots session and 5 miles back, then later in the week a round trip of about 5 miles to the baby swimming session. I was lucky as my wife was 100% behind my excursions even though she is not a keen or confident cyclist herself.


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## KateK (31 Aug 2012)

I'm sure it is hard for your wife to trust the boy will be safe after your accident, but riding on roads and riding on a cycle path are very different. I think you may need to take it in baby steps if you are to keep her on board. Its easier where I live because half the population cycle, everyone takes toddlers and babies on bikes, trailers, trikes etc. If its any help, the only accidents I know of here were to a child trailer behind a bike (terrible for visibility, we never used them) and a friend who caught something in his wheel and they went over: child was wearing a helmet and was fine. Generally road users are much more considerate to bikes and trikes with kids on, they used to stop on main roads and let me out when I had a tricycle. Up front child seats look safer to non cyclists because you have your arms round them. Also a nice stable hybrid or mountain bike will look better...can you fit a child seat on a road bike?..never fitted mine well and gave terrible wheel judder when starting, horrible


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## CarlosVanDango (22 Sep 2012)

just get a bike trailer they are loads safer than bike seats, i'm not really a fan of bike seats although i would never knock anyone for taking their child out with one i just didn't fancy it with mine. bike trailers in parks and paths are about as safe as you can get - for driving in traffic they can difficult to see but just take that into account when your driving
and trailers are for nowt these days http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Bike-Trai...CyclAcces_RL&hash=item20cb5b1a24#ht_500wt_975 i only paid £40 for mine brand new off ebay


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## Red Light (22 Sep 2012)

Get her to talk to Josie Dew and Molly and Daisy about cycling with young 'uns on the back. http://www.josiedew.com/contact-me


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## Matt1705 (23 Sep 2012)

My in laws have one, and have taken our 22 month old out a few times in it. Last time he went in it he was so relaxed he fell asleep! He loves it (when he's awake lol)


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## jackhandy (26 Sep 2012)

Some say the front mounting seats are better at that age, because you can keep an eye on the sprog & protect him if anything goes amuck.

Otherwise, could you get a cycling mum or, better still, granny to follow behind on a trial run?

I reckon you're in for a barrow-load of grief if you do it too sneaky.


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (26 Sep 2012)

How about some middle ground? what it is she is so worried about - the traffic? most likely.

Well start off with cycling with him on a traffic free cycle way. If I'm not mistaken you have some off-road cycle routes running through where you live (using the sustrans cycle route app on my iphone...) try those for what is probably her biggest fear - the traffic. National Cycle route 1 runs through Monifieth and heading north appears to have large sections that are off road, i.e. traffic free. there is also quite a bit to the south of you on the other side of the estuary which is in woodland around tayport (tentsmuir forest) and marked as traffic free as well. You could try that option.


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