# Edinburgh or burst! Part 2- The Canal route



## Pat "5mph" (4 May 2013)

Hiya all!
As promised, a few days late, sorry , here's the second installment of Edinburgh or burst!
This time it's not the tale of a lone lady cyclist battling her way to the capital, narrowly escaping monstrous bike eating garbage trucks, wee legs spinning aimlessly through the desolated (and smelly) Scottish countryside.
No, this tale is not nearly as exciting as the other one, but what fun 3 girls on bikes can have!
We packed our rucksacks, we filled our water bottles, we took to the canals, all 56 miles of them: first target the Falkirk Wheel, second and final the Edinburgh Meadows.
By all means, the trip did not start well for me. Barely 10 minutes into the journey there was a turn.
Yes, we were warned about that by the leader.
Ok, girls, she said, I've done this before, there's only one bit where it gets confusing, as some joker turned the direction sign the other way. There we must turn and cross.
Now, imagine a leisurely pace, me at the back (of course!) slowly but surely getting up to my 5mph speed.
Suddenly an outcry, "stop!" ... heard it too late 
The rider in front of me stops, I hit the brakes, ungracefully side slide in the mud, emerge with a turf of wet grass stuck in my right handlebar end.
Aha, that would have been the turn off point, then 
After this mishap, 23 relaxed miles of flat canal route later, the wind behind us, I was looking out for this famous wheel. Expecting to see a kind of windmill, Don Quixote style, what a surprise to find out the Falkirk Wheel is not round at all, but spaceship shaped!
Here you go, a couple of pictures. Note the dark clouds in the sky, because they have a part in this tale.




After quick refreshments, I... erm, decide to lose my muddy shorts, keeping the leggings underneath, all of us decide we are hot, take jackets off.
Of course the clouds opened immediately showering us with freezing rain, giving birth to a river of brown mud running along, no, more like _instead_ of the canal path.
A ragged sight of soggy Lycra, we stop to put waterproofs back on.
5 minutes later, you guessed it, the sun peaks out again. Repeat several times.
Brilliant idea for next time: a pot of rice seedlings in back basket, harvest at the 25th mile, cook in bag under waterproofs for about 20 miles at 12 mph ... voila', dinner ready ... amazing what idle thoughts the brain comes up with when there is no need to watch out for taxis and white vans.
Had a wee smug moment that came back to bite me in the bum.
Yes, ended the ride with a sore bum.
Karma, sure, plus I don't do padded gear, although the Union Canal experience made me buy a pair of Aldi's best 
So, the smug moment was when, after us getting hit by a head wind powered hail storm, one of the girls said "that was really horrible!" ... and I thought "nay, nothing worse than what you get commuting in winter". Oh Fate, forgive me that moment of glee, please don't tell the Fairy!
Here are some pictures from the first stretch of the Union canal, just after the Wheel. We have now left the Forth and Clyde canal.






The fallen bike belongs to the photographer. For the whole of the trip this bike would not stand on its, well, stand  as shown again here below. I took the first bike picture to show you our degree of muddiness by the time we reached the wheel. Did not manage to fully convey our state, so took a close up of my Gonzales, that had started the trip immaculate It's the second image below 





I had warned you at the beginning that this tale was not going to be very thrilling, but don't stop reading, 'cause there's a twist in the end 
We continue our journey shaken James Bond martini cocktail style: ouch the flinty gravel stones on that canal path! A never ending pounding to the behind! Torture transmitted from the front wheel through the handlebars to the upper arms!
Should have taken Boris dressed in sturdy Marathons, instead of Gonzales dressed in sleek City Jets. Took him just because he's easier to clean having only 5 gears: it was a bad mistake that made me welcome all (about 127) "cyclists dismount" signs along the way 
The beautiful scenery compensated for the roughness of the path. We saw baby dears, rare birds, woolly cows, weird warning signs.
Weird warning sign on approaching a water basin: "watch your wash" ... don't laugh and don't forget I'm a foreigner, ok, because I had to ask my companions: scusa, what this means? people wash their clothes in the canal?? then the wind flies them, so they need to watch their wash???
You learn something linguistically new even after 30 years in the UK 

The wee bit of excitement I had promised you at the end of this tale is approaching: what happened, I hear you think!
Ha ha! A first ever for me happened, I manned up in a sort of too real sense of the expression.
Ermm, we could well say I took to the bushes, spurred on by my more outdoor savvy pals.
Filthy, tired, bereft of ladies powder rooms, at that point certainly "Belles on Bikes" we were not!
Picture of where my modesty closed both eyes:



Soon after the Capital was in sight: civilization, The Meadows, Waverley station, double espresso macchiato!

Till the next cycling adventure it's ciao ciao from me!


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## Rickshaw Phil (4 May 2013)

Brilliant write up.


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## deptfordmarmoset (4 May 2013)

That wheel thingummebob looks distinctly like a duck to me!


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## Pat "5mph" (4 May 2013)

deptfordmarmoset said:


> That wheel thingummebob looks distinctly like a duck to me!


Ha ha, a genetically modified one maybe?


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## Mo1959 (5 May 2013)

Another great write up. Well seeing you're a townie. I would have know what "Watch your wash" meant. At least I think I do. Presume it's the wash from the boats? My Dad once got shouted at on one of these Hoseason's boat holidays. He broke the speed limit and the wash rocked some of the moored boats and spilled a guy's cornflakes!


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## Ladytrucker (5 May 2013)

Well done Patenjoyed the read.


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## Mange-tout (5 May 2013)

Mo1959 said:


> Another great write up. Well seeing you're a townie. I would have know what "Watch your wash" meant. At least I think I do. Presume it's the wash from the boats? My Dad once got shouted at on one of these Hoseason's boat holidays. He broke the speed limit and the wash rocked some of the moored boats and spilled a guy's cornflakes!


 
Loved the write up Pat, and thanks for explaining the 'wash' Mo, that would've kept me puzzlin' all day


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## Pat "5mph" (5 May 2013)

Mo1959 said:


> Another great write up. Well seeing you're a townie. I would have know what "Watch your wash" meant. At least I think I do. Presume it's the wash from the boats? My Dad once got shouted at on one of these Hoseason's boat holidays. He broke the speed limit and the wash rocked some of the moored boats and spilled a guy's cornflakes!


Yes, Mo, one of the girls riding with me knew all about the "wash".
Apparently uncontrolled wash from boats damages the canal banks, hence the warning signs.


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## i hate hills (6 May 2013)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Hiya all!
> As promised, a few days late, sorry , here's the second installment of Edinburgh or burst!
> This time it's not the tale of a lone lady cyclist battling her way to the capital, narrowly escaping monstrous bike eating garbage trucks, wee legs spinning aimlessly through the desolated (and smelly) Scottish countryside.
> No, this tale is not nearly as exciting as the other one, but what fun 3 girls on bikes can have!
> ...


Great report Pat. Really enjoyed reading. All the best Mike.


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## Fuzzball (10 May 2013)

Thanks for the write up, I am going to give this a bash (weather permitting) on Thursday! It's part research as I am starting a new job at Edinburgh Airport in September ish and am considering moving to Linlithgow area (as I have realised I don't like the idea of not being able to commute by bike anymore).


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## Pat "5mph" (10 May 2013)

Fuzzball said:


> Thanks for the write up, I am going to give this a bash (weather permitting) on Thursday! It's part research as I am starting a new job at Edinburgh Airport in September ish and am considering moving to Linlithgow area (as I have realised I don't like the idea of not being able to commute by bike anymore).


Hi Claire, that is a lovely area, lots going on along the canal, very scenic all round.
For commuting to work, I think the road is better, as the canal path would be impassable in winter. There are bits practically submerged in water, most likely would ice up.
If researching for a commute route to the airport from Linlithgow, why not explore from Rasmus's road route?
I can PM you the instructions in English if you need.
Hope to meet you on the 19th, I'll be going with the Belles on Bikes group.


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## Fuzzball (10 May 2013)

Hi Pat, thanks for the advice, unfortunately can't do the parliament ride I am working at 7am, so my cycle will be to the airport at 5.30am!


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