# Avoiding the 4am trek to the campsite bogs



## Bigtallfatbloke (3 Feb 2008)

...nothing worse....all wrapped up snug and dry in your sleeping bag, istening the the rain deluge on your tent....when you get 'That' urge.....you roll over & tell yourself it will go away and you can wait till morning....but you know you are kidding yourself....so it's off to the bog block in the rain and mud in the dark...YUCK.

So how is it possible to wee in a small tent hygenically and avoid the dreaded bogblockboogie?


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## Crackle (3 Feb 2008)

You don't: You pop up through the tent flap like a meercat, stark bollock naked, do a stealth wee to one side and slide back in all before you've even woken up.

The only problem is if you've woken someone else up in the tent who needs a wee and they emerge after you thinking you've headed for the loo. You haven't, so they butt you pretty hard in the backside, catapaulting you out the tent over the guy lines mid wee - not that that's ever happened to me you understand.


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## col (3 Feb 2008)

One of those wee bottles,with a screw cap,or something similar would do it wouldnt it?


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## Crackle (3 Feb 2008)

col said:


> One of those wee bottles,with a screw cap,or something similar would do it wouldnt it?



Fraught with danger they are....


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## col (3 Feb 2008)

A practiced kneeling position,normaly ok,but maybe not if there are a few in the tiny tent


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## Bigtallfatbloke (3 Feb 2008)

I thought about the obviuos...pepsi bottles etc but I dont like th ethought of sharing my limited space with a bottle of my finest ( I tend to roll over in my sleep a lot which would increase the risk of having to whistle yellow river in the morning)...so i was thinking about some kind of pipe/hose set up...but how would it exit the tent?....and I 'd have to cycle across germany with a pipe on my bike....hmm....

....I thought about designing a moulded rubber/plastic vent in the sid eof th etent wall with a screw on hose th eother side long enough to clear the area so to speak.....dunno...am I just being lazy? ....but thi scould be important next time I am camping out in -50c on everest (in my dreams)....


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## Crackle (3 Feb 2008)

A pepsi bottle! With the top cut off I presume 

You get all sorts of solutions, especially amongst the winter campers. A cut down drinks bottle is a fave, placed carefully outside the tent after use. Not sure about the hose, unless you generate a fair old pressure  but for summer, on a quiet campsite .......... waterproof on and out you go man, find a tree.

Also, if you can conquer the urge one night, you don't get it again: All bets off if you've been to the pub though.


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## Bigtallfatbloke (3 Feb 2008)

..I suppose (being a big chap) I could forget about the hose and just cut a hole in the tent


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## sloe (3 Feb 2008)

One of those wide-mouth drinks bottles with the squirty teat

http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/Models.aspx?ModelID=2878

In the morning you can secrete it about your person for the trip to the loo, and then amaze and delight your fellow urinaters by expressing two healthy streams at once.


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## John Ponting (3 Feb 2008)

a designated "pee bottle". maybe an aluminium on to avoid mixing with a drinking bottle. Has worked for years.

Or pitch your tent next to a bounday hedge and simply aim from the rear door of the tent.


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## Joe24 (3 Feb 2008)

One of those wide mouth drinks bottles. Wrap it up with gaffa tape so you cant confuse it with a drinks bottle. 
I'm ure somewhere on the internet you can get a bottle that is made to have a pee in, its a different colour and shape so you cant confuse it. Not sure where though.


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## Tim Bennet. (3 Feb 2008)

The cheap option is an empty old powdered milk bottle. The 'Five Pints' brand (is it still available?) was the classic 'bivvi piss bottle'.

Slightly more expensive is a well marked Nalgene plastic bottle. The tops on these are secure enough that you can put it back in your sleeping bag and enjoy a 'hot water' bottle to help you get back to sleep.


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## Bigtallfatbloke (3 Feb 2008)

I'm thinking plastic two litre bottle of milk from asda....but inside the sleeping bag???...yuck


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## Rhythm Thief (3 Feb 2008)

Tim Bennet. said:


> Slightly more expensive is a well marked Nalgene plastic bottle. The tops on these are secure enough that you can put it back in your sleeping bag and enjoy a 'hot water' bottle to help you get back to sleep.



Taking recycling a bit far there Tim.


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## John Ponting (3 Feb 2008)

Larger picture 

Male autoclavable natural coloured polypropylene urinal with a tight sealing cap for easy transportation. External marking to its 1000ml capacity.


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## campagman (3 Feb 2008)

I tend to prevent this problem by controlling what I drink the night before. After a day cycling I am probably a bit dehydrated anyway! I know people like to have a bed time drink but I'm afraid that's your downfall. Like somebody has said before going to the pub ruins this strategy.


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## CycleTourer (3 Feb 2008)

We have an 'En-suite' approach. It's called a Hilleberg Stalon GT  which has a large vestibule and a Ortlieb folding bucket!


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## Rhythm Thief (3 Feb 2008)

Just go immediately before going to bed. Always works for me.


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## Crackle (3 Feb 2008)

CycleTourer said:


> We have an 'En-suite' approach. It's called a Hilleberg Stalon GT which has a large vestibule and a Ortlieb folding bucket!



This is purely for number 1's right?


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## CycleTourer (3 Feb 2008)

Crackle said:


> This is purely for number 1's right?



Definitely No 1's


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## PaulSB (4 Feb 2008)

As the solution to this is relatively simple for men - container and good aim - does it explain why women have far greater bladder control than us guys?


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## Bigtallfatbloke (4 Feb 2008)

> does it explain why women have far greater bladder control than us guys?



I suspect it has more to do with beer consumption and willpower than anything else


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## Kirstie (4 Feb 2008)

Remember in the 1970s you could get those long corrugated plastic tubes (usually green) which played 'tunes' as you whirled them round above your head?

One of those would do it...


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## Bigtallfatbloke (4 Feb 2008)

..erm...without the corrugated bits would be better....


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## Cheddar George (4 Feb 2008)

I once shared a room with an Australian guy backpacking round Africa, he told me a great story of how to drink lager at an Aussie rules football game. To save time going to and from the toilets and also losing your place at the bar you cut up an old cycle inner tube (25mm - 35mm i am guessing) roll one end over your manhood and route the rest down your trouser leg to trail loosely on the floor. As long as you didn't tread on the end you were sorted.

Obviously this is the perfect answer to BTFB's problem.


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## Cathryn (4 Feb 2008)

PaulSB said:


> As the solution to this is relatively simple for men - container and good aim - does it explain why women have far greater bladder control than us guys?



No, that's because it takes SO long queueing for the ladies' loo that we try very hard not to go!!!


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## rich p (4 Feb 2008)

Cheddar George said:


> I once shared a room with an Australian guy backpacking round Africa, he told me a great story of how to drink lager at an Aussie rules football game. To save time going to and from the toilets and also losing your place at the bar you cut up an old cycle inner tube (25mm - 35mm i am guessing) roll one end over your manhood and route the rest down your trouser leg to trail loosely on the floor. As long as you didn't tread on the end you were sorted.
> 
> Obviously this is the perfect answer to BTFB's problem.



Great ingenuity bit I'm sure I could get away with a 25mm! An involuntary erection could be disastrous though!


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## vernon (4 Feb 2008)

Cheddar George said:


> I once shared a room with an Australian guy backpacking round Africa, he told me a great story of how to drink lager at an Aussie rules football game. To save time going to and from the toilets and also losing your place at the bar you cut up an old cycle inner tube (25mm - 35mm i am guessing) roll one end over your manhood and route the rest down your trouser leg to trail loosely on the floor. As long as you didn't tread on the end you were sorted.
> 
> Obviously this is the perfect answer to BTFB's problem.



Spike Milligan got there first in 'Rommel Gunner Who?' give or take the odd comma.


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## domtyler (4 Feb 2008)

Kirstie said:


> Remember in the 1970s you could get those long corrugated plastic tubes (usually green) which played 'tunes' as you whirled them round above your head?
> 
> One of those would do it...



You could make yourself really popular by giving it to the kids to play with the next morning too!


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## Bigtallfatbloke (4 Feb 2008)

Bicycle inner tube...hmmm...I like it...simple and easy to remember....also it wont look a stoopid on a bike as a whirly tube or a bed pan jobby...

...what a great conversation


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## jay clock (4 Feb 2008)

I am currently on a camping trip and can vouch for the wide mouthed bottle - a revelation in not having to unzip the tent and go outside.


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## mazza (13 Mar 2009)

id get out of the tent two minuites to look at the stars always good when your in the country side then then streaght back into the tent


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## Bodhbh (14 Mar 2009)

Reminds me of student days - everyone had a p*** bottle, not because they did any camping, but were too bloody lazy to walk to the loo in the night.


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## ColinJ (14 Mar 2009)

rich p said:


> Great ingenuity bit I'm sure I could get away with a 25mm!


Given that a 25 mm tube is slightly less than 1 inch diameter, and circumference = Pi x diameter, that's a 'girth' of only about 3 inches. Are you sure that you've got your calculations right? 

I'd have thought an old mountain bike tube would be more like it...


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## rich p (14 Mar 2009)

ColinJ said:


> Given that a 25 mm tube is slightly less than 1 inch diameter, and circumference = Pi x diameter, that's a 'girth' of only about 3 inches. Are you sure that you've got your calculations right?
> 
> I'd have thought an old mountain bike tube would be more like it...



Perhaps you're right Colin. I'm just too modest!


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## Duds (20 Mar 2009)

if you can make it through the night at home, you can make it through the night in a tent.

get up, step outside, pee, step inside, sleep

it's 4.00am - i wouldn't give a hoot to being seen taking a leak at 4.00am. Unhygienic? how many rabbits, foxes , badgers, cats and dogs are peeing round your tent all night?

The dog and I always take a naked constitutional pee every morning in the garden when we get up at home - rain, snow or shine. Wakes you up! (advantage of no neighbours!)

taking a dump, i can see the issues! but a pee? we worry too much.


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## ronmac (20 Mar 2009)

A one litre Minute Maid Pure Squeezed Orange Juice bottle. 1.25 inches inside diameter at lid. A good solid screwtop lid - no spillage. Spot on.
I appreciate the benefits of some fresh air and looking at a starlit sky in the middle of the night BUT - You don't want to get outside in Scotland at night. You'll get eaten alive by midgies.


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## ColinJ (20 Mar 2009)

ronmac said:


> A one litre Minute Maid Pure Squeezed Orange Juice bottle. 1.25 inches inside diameter at lid. A good solid screwtop lid - no spillage. Spot on.


That's too small a diameter - you'd still have the old _'aiming in the dark when half asleep'_ problem! 

Now one of these is more like it (1.6" inside diameter):







2 points to note though:

(1) Don't get confused between the pee bottle and the bottles you drink from!

(2) Don't use it when you are feeling frisky - it's still small enough to trap you! (Er, allegedly... )


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## ronmac (20 Mar 2009)

ColinJ said:


> That's too small a diameter - you'd still have the old _'aiming in the dark when half asleep'_ problem!
> 
> I'm an average bloke - not a horse !


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## con gibbens (20 Mar 2009)

CycleTourer said:


> We have an 'En-suite' approach. It's called a Hilleberg Stalon GT which has a large vestibule and a Ortlieb folding bucket! B)



We also have a Hilleberg Stalon GT (discontinued but a similar model is now available) Our en-suite is actually a small hard plastic bucket with a lid! This bucket is not available in the UK as far as I know even though it is a Curver product but almost every hypermarche in France stock them. The top edge of the bucket has a flange bit like a small bog seat so can be used by females and could be pressed into service for more serious issues if desparate!
It just fits into one of our rear Ortlieb rolltop panniers and in transit is stuffed full of our fluid containers such as washing up liquid, cooking oil, liquid fuel containers and other leakable items so serves a dual purpose.


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## colly (23 Mar 2009)

All you need to do it pretend you are a keen golfer:


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncjYnLgxyCI


"just checking out your club" Who writes these things ?


I'm thinking of developing a cycling version _'Uropump'_ 

Not sure about the name though. 
Maybe '_Pi55 Pump'_ would be more catchy.


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## Tony (23 Mar 2009)

Very simply, I have an old drink bottle, with a cap seal. It is green.....so I never confuse it.


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## Dayvo (23 Mar 2009)

colly said:


> All you need to do it pretend you are a keen golfer:
> 
> 
> View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncjYnLgxyCI
> ...




So what does the ladies' version look like?


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## BigonaBianchi (23 Mar 2009)

Blimey a voice from the past..can t keep a good man down eh


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## ComedyPilot (23 Mar 2009)

Tony said:


> Very simply, I have an old drink bottle, with a cap seal. *It is green.*....so I never confuse it.



It's also 4am and dark....my money is on you getting the wrong bottle once at least...!


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## Tony (24 Mar 2009)

ComedyPilot said:


> It's also 4am and dark....my money is on you getting the wrong bottle once at least...!


Which is why it is also a different shape, lol!


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## ComedyPilot (24 Mar 2009)

Tony said:


> Which is why it is also a different shape, lol!



You are still on about the bottle, aren't you?


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## Isla Valassi (27 Mar 2009)

The answer?

http://www.traveljohn.co.uk/
http://www.shewee.com/


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## Plax (30 Mar 2009)

You guys have it easy.


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## jay clock (29 Apr 2016)

Just thought I would resurrect this as I am off a on tour armed with my large bottle!


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## Simon_m (29 Apr 2016)

Bigtallfatbloke said:


> ...nothing worse....all wrapped up snug and dry in your sleeping bag, istening the the rain deluge on your tent....when you get 'That' urge.....you roll over & tell yourself it will go away and you can wait till morning....but you know you are kidding yourself....so it's off to the bog block in the rain and mud in the dark...YUCK.
> 
> So how is it possible to wee in a small tent hygenically and avoid the dreaded bogblockboogie?




I've always just unzipped the tent and popped my little mate out. Or are you taking about a number2. Tried a empty drinks bottle once, they dont hold much do they!


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## rualexander (29 Apr 2016)

Cooking pan, no problem, rinse out in morning.
Or plenty of commercial options available https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/...inence-aids/?gclid=CLeSz4bvs8wCFe4y0wod1S4DXQ


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## ColinJ (29 Apr 2016)

Simon_m said:


> I've always just unzipped the tent and popped my little mate out.


While praying that there are no hungry foxes prowling about ...


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## Simon_m (29 Apr 2016)

well as long s they don't bite


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## jay clock (29 Apr 2016)

rualexander said:


> Cooking pan, no problem, rinse out in morning.
> Or plenty of commercial options available https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/...inence-aids/?gclid=CLeSz4bvs8wCFe4y0wod1S4DXQ


not sure I want to open that on the company firewall. Sirens will go off in IT


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## jay clock (29 Apr 2016)

Simon_m said:


> I've always just unzipped the tent and popped my little mate out. Or are you taking about a number2. Tried a empty drinks bottle once, they dont hold much do they!


Tiny tent and sloping flysheet means it aint easy. Plus I would be crawling onto rancid grass first thing!


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## steveindenmark (29 Apr 2016)

Use your water bottle. What you provide has got to taste better than some campsite tap water.

Either that or wild camp, where you can pee anywhere :0)


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## subaqua (29 Apr 2016)

John Ponting said:


> a designated "pee bottle". maybe an aluminium on to avoid mixing with a drinking bottle. Has worked for years.
> 
> Or pitch your tent next to a bounday hedge and simply aim from the rear door of the tent.



aluminium ones make a racket , as do metal buckets. 

don't ask how i know this.


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## ANT 666 (29 Apr 2016)

Once had the squits camping in the Thar desert, just made the tent opening before my bum exploded! It was in the middle of the night and pitch black,so dived back to the sack to sleep, got up at the crack of dawn to clean up before any one else was around..... there it was, gone! Dung beetles had done their thing absolutly no trace of the offending mess. Brilliant.


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## raleighnut (29 Apr 2016)

ANT 666 said:


> Once had the squits camping in the Thar desert, just made the tent opening before my bum exploded! It was in the middle of the night and pitch black,so dived back to the sack to sleep, got up at the crack of dawn to clean up before any one else was around..... there it was, gone! Dung beetles had done their thing absolutly no trace of the offending mess. Brilliant.


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## DaveReading (29 Apr 2016)

Peeing in a bottle just doesn't seem right if there isn't a band on the stage in front of you to throw it at.


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## subaqua (29 Apr 2016)

Basically MTFU , put the crocs on ( yes I get the irony) and walk to the bogs. 


What are the holes on the tops and sides of crocs for ? 


Letting your remaining dignity escape.


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## jim55 (29 Apr 2016)

Oasis bottle


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## classic33 (29 Apr 2016)

jim55 said:


> Oasis bottle


They make bottles now?



Plax said:


> You guys have it easy.


There's ways and means round it.


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## jim55 (29 Apr 2016)

classic33 said:


> They make bottles now?
> 
> 
> There's ways and means round it.


Yeah , the drink oasis , wide mouth ( like the singer)


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## classic33 (29 Apr 2016)

jim55 said:


> Yeah , the drink oasis , wide mouth ( like the singer)


Not this lot then?


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## robing (2 May 2016)

Just use one of my drinks bottles with the wide top, then rinse it out the next day. Well it's only my wee, there are worse things.


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## classic33 (2 May 2016)

robing said:


> Just use one of my drinks bottles with the wide top, then rinse it out the next day. Well it's only my wee, *there are worse things*.


Having to clear the back end.


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## ufkacbln (2 May 2016)

Simon_m said:


> I've always just unzipped the tent and popped my little mate out. Or are you taking about a number2. Tried a empty drinks bottle once, they dont hold much do they!



P+20

Your bladder will always have a content 20 mls greater then the capacity of the bottle you are using


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## subaqua (2 May 2016)

Cunobelin said:


> P+20
> 
> Your bladder will always have a content 20 mls greater then the capacity of the bottle you are using




really !


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## raleighnut (2 May 2016)

subaqua said:


> really !


How do you get that in a bottle cage though.


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## ufkacbln (2 May 2016)

subaqua said:


> really !



Would fit on the Cristiania, but not in the Ortleb panniers

Useful for a large tent with multiple occupants


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## ufkacbln (2 May 2016)

subaqua said:


> really !




That is taking the p....


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## raleighnut (2 May 2016)

Cunobelin said:


> Would fit on the Cristiania, but not in the Ortleb panniers
> 
> Useful for a large tent with multiple occupants


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## classic33 (2 May 2016)

raleighnut said:


> How do you get that in a bottle cage though.


Ways & means. No handles are easier though.


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## robing (2 May 2016)

I do find this a problem though camping. I've always had a weak bladder and it's only going to get worse with age!


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## pawl (2 May 2016)

Crackle said:


> Fraught with danger they are....







Heinz baked bean tin large size.If on a budget Aldi own brand baked bean tin.Not sure if either can be recycled after such inappropriate use.


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## pawl (2 May 2016)

robing said:


> I do find this a problem though camping. I've always had a weak bladder and it's only going to get worse with age!





Give up camping.
Posi sheath a type of external catheter.
Stop going to the local pub before bed time
Pitch as close as possible to the bog
Oh I forgot wild camping


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## andym (2 May 2016)

Am I the only person thinking:

- "don't drink so much the night before"

- "get up - at least get out of the tent"


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## classic33 (2 May 2016)

andym said:


> Am I the only person thinking:
> 
> - "don't drink so much the night before"
> 
> - "get up - at least get out of the tent"


Possibly!!


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## jay clock (2 May 2016)

I have a third bottle cage on the bike now and an old 700ml bottle I use just for this purpose. Still give it a good wash, but so far so good. All the touring news on my current trip is here www.jmhr.com


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## jefmcg (2 May 2016)

subaqua said:


> really !





View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbNO_YZwqH0


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## subaqua (3 May 2016)

jefmcg said:


> View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbNO_YZwqH0



thats why you dont take the label/seal off and let the cooler do that like it is supposed to !. 

some people ( the guy on the video) shouldn't be let out on their own !


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## robing (27 May 2016)

jay clock said:


> I have a third bottle cage on the bike now and an old 700ml bottle I use just for this purpose. Still give it a good wash, but so far so good. All the touring news on my current trip is here www.jmhr.com


This is exactly what I use. It works well. I tip it out quick to the side of the tent before the mossies can get in. The only trouble is it can stink a bit, especially if you're staying at the same place for any length of time!


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## classic33 (27 May 2016)

robing said:


> This is exactly what I use. It works well. I tip it out quick to the side of the tent before the mossies can get in. The only trouble is it can stink a bit, especially if you're staying at the same place for any length of time!


Don't tip too close to your own tent, first rule.


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## snorri (27 May 2016)

subaqua said:


> Basically MTFU , put the crocs on .


 Now that really scared me, I thought at first you were recommending retaining things until the morning with one of these big crocodile clips.


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## doog (27 May 2016)

For any prospective cycle tourer there's often a desire to snaffle your tent into the corner of the plot next to that hedge,nicely tucked away with a bit of wind / rain protection .....Just DONT 

Thats the '4 am zone' if you know what I mean...(well some of us will know what it means )


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## subaqua (27 May 2016)

snorri said:


> Now that really scared me, I thought at first you were recommending retaining things until the morning with one of these big crocodile clips.


You have been offshore far far too long. What website did you see that in . Rhetorical BTW !


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## Fab Foodie (27 May 2016)

Pint milk containers (plastic with screw-top) work fine ;-)


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## srw (27 May 2016)

Fab Foodie said:


> Pint milk containers (plastic with screw-top) work fine ;-)


So does a hotel room with an en-suite.


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## robing (28 May 2016)

classic33 said:


> Don't tip too close to your own tent, first rule.


Yes, but that means having to get up and out of your tent to tip it away, which kind of defeats the point


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## Fab Foodie (28 May 2016)

srw said:


> So does a hotel room with an en-suite.


Nah ... I do that every week .... It's no holiday!


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## seraphina (29 May 2016)

Denture or Milton sterilising tablets are useful for taking care of hygiene aspects of pee bottles. Bloody useful things to have on tour anyhow.


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## doog (30 May 2016)

srw said:


> So does a hotel room with an en-suite.



or even just a sink.....


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## doog (30 May 2016)

seraphina said:


> Denture or Milton sterilising tablets are useful for taking care of hygiene aspects of pee bottles. Bloody useful things to have on tour anyhow.



Yep use Milton tablets for my bottles, half a tab in each bottle..


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## raleighnut (30 May 2016)

doog said:


> Yep use Milton tablets for my bottles, half a tab in each bottle..


I bet that tastes rank.


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## ufkacbln (30 May 2016)

doog said:


> Yep use Milton tablets for my bottles, half a tab in each bottle..



I thing Gel sachets are more traditional.... depending on which bottle of course


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## ufkacbln (30 May 2016)

I love the "Happy Pee" urinal bottles


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