# A macabre request



## mcshroom (5 Dec 2010)

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but we unfortunately have (too) many posts which refer to tragic loss of life. They are saddening and I hope that they are such because they are statistically so rare, but it is remarkably frequent that these threads appear 

I have taken to using a smiley from freesmileys.org with a RIP message: -







As much as I hate using it because of what it means has happened, could this one please be incorporated into the smiley list?


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## 661-Pete (6 Dec 2010)

At first sight this looks like a good idea .... _but I would vote against it_. I can't really explain clearly why, just that it doesn't _feel_ right to me. Smileys are really for more light-hearted occasions. We are all capable of posting messages of sympathy in words when the need arises. And we already have a 'sad face' smiley in the set.

Hope this doesn't turn into another 'smiley war'! I would happily go with the majority, whatever its view.


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## mcshroom (6 Dec 2010)

I can fully understand that view, and if that is what people feel I'm happy to go with whatever everyone else feels is right. 

I just noticed since I started using it I had done so more often than I would have liked.


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## yello (6 Dec 2010)

Forgive me for being a little off at a tangent here but... I wouldn't use such a smiley (not that I'd oppose it's use) because I simply don't feel comfortable responding to such threads at all. Adding comments like 'my thoughts are with the family' etc etc etc just seems unusual to me. I don't doubt people have such thoughts, it's just the desire to share that they do with others that strikes me as unusual. I realise it's just me, but maybe not. I'm a grieve/reflect in silence sort of a person (unless I'm able to support the bereaved directly of course), so I'm genuinely not critical of those that are more public.


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## ianrauk (6 Dec 2010)

yello said:


> Forgive me for being a little off at a tangent here but... I wouldn't use such a smiley (not that I'd oppose it's use) because I simply don't feel comfortable responding to such threads at all. Adding comments like 'my thoughts are with the family' etc etc etc just seems unusual to me. I don't doubt people have such thoughts, it's just the desire to share that they do with others that strikes me as unusual. I realise it's just me, but maybe not. I'm a grieve/reflect in silence sort of a person (unless I'm able to support the bereaved directly of course), so I'm genuinely not critical of those that are more public.



I'm with you on this Yello. 
I also find it strange that people post RIP, Thoughts with family etc..for the same reason as you give above.


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## benb (6 Dec 2010)

I agree with yello and ianrauk.

I don't doubt that people mean well, but I get the distinct impression that some people do news searches for cycling fatalities so they can post them here. That just feels a bit odd. Unless there is a specific lesson (don't sit to the left of vehicles at lights) I don't really see what it's supposed to achieve.

So no on the RIP smiley for me please.


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## ColinJ (6 Dec 2010)

I usually don't add my condolences either, for similar reasons to yello. 

Another thing - I think these threads make cycling seem a lot more dangerous than it is. It's almost as if we as a group are scouring the world's press for depressing cycling stories to comment on. I can imagine some nervous cyclists being put off cycling altogether by one '_Cyclist killed in XYZ'_ thread too many.

Yesterday's awful news from Italy spawned at least 3 threads before the mods stepped in. It was as though CC members were in such a hurry to get the bad news out that they didn't have time to check for similar threads. I'm not saying that that incident should pass unremarked upon, but at least don't post with indecent haste. Something horrendous like that will always have a thread devoted to it, so do a search for one first before starting your own.


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## Rhythm Thief (6 Dec 2010)

I don't like the "cyclist killed RIP" threads at all, for reasons others have already mentioned and because a casual reader of the forum would get the impression that cycling is astonishingly dangerous from a quick skim of the thread titles some days. And, with all respect, I reserve my grief for those I actually know, not complete strangers whom I've never met from different parts of the country.


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## Zoiders (6 Dec 2010)

Grief as recreation galls me no end.

Sorry but it has to be said.


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## Zoiders (6 Dec 2010)

Back on topic - grief threads are getting to be rather common, almost as common as spelling pedantry.

I say no to an RIP smiley.


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## CanucksTraveller (6 Dec 2010)

+1 to Yello's post. I've never felt the need to post on RIP threads... I didn't know the person concerned, and his family aren't reading CycleChat scanning for messages of support. So to say "my thoughts are with his family" would just be an outright lie on my part. 

Besides which I don't think of someone killed on a bike as any different to someone killed in a car, or in an aeroplane crash, or even walking on patrol in Helmand... an untimely death is an untimely death, mode of transport is irrelevant. 

I think an RIP smiley is a little silly. I kind of thought that smileys were more for frivolous things.


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## Norm (6 Dec 2010)

yello said:


> Forgive me for being a little off at a tangent here but... I wouldn't use such a smiley (not that I'd oppose it's use) because I simply don't feel comfortable responding to such threads at all. Adding comments like 'my thoughts are with the family' etc etc etc just seems unusual to me. I don't doubt people have such thoughts, it's just the desire to share that they do with others that strikes me as unusual. I realise it's just me, but maybe not. I'm a grieve/reflect in silence sort of a person (unless I'm able to support the bereaved directly of course), so I'm genuinely not critical of those that are more public.


There are plenty of stories which I think are terribly sad, such as the two cyclists who were recently killed in Cumbria and the 8 in Italy. But I find it difficult to offer public grief and support when I have no connection to the people involved. 

If someone loses a friend or relative, that's a different issue for me (although not an issue that I would use a smiley for) but I don't think that I'd offer public support solely because they were riding a bike, powered or not.


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## ufkacbln (6 Dec 2010)

Back on topic.....

There are two ways to look at this, firstly there is a certain amount of (perhaps morbid) there but for the Grace of God.... but secondly there is often something to gain. We may improve our technique, see a fault in the law that needs change or campaigning, and to make something positive out of the tragedy


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## Shaun (7 Dec 2010)

Erm, no to the smiley.

Cheers,
Shaun


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## mcshroom (7 Dec 2010)

OK. Led to an interesting discussion though


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