# You're a proper commuting cyclist when...



## Stig-OT-Dump (2 Apr 2009)

No more than one for each post please....

1 - you have an improvised washing line under your desk

Over to someone else for the next one.


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## col (2 Apr 2009)

2- Your bike lock key is on the same ring as the front door.


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## Willow (2 Apr 2009)

You forget your undies.


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## killiekosmos (2 Apr 2009)

Everyone at work describes you as "you know, XXXX the bloke who cycles to work"


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## Tynan (2 Apr 2009)

done a whole year with no concession to the weather other than ice


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## therams (2 Apr 2009)

People ask you whats wrong when they see your car in the car park


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## Stig-OT-Dump (2 Apr 2009)

You look forward to going into work eventhough you know your tasks for the day are $hite


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## hackbike 666 (2 Apr 2009)

You cycle through a riot again :-)


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## sticky sherbert (2 Apr 2009)

you have to use a hammer to free the brakes on your car when you do use it


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## MrRidley (2 Apr 2009)

When you argue with car drivers in work about bad driving.


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## Radius (2 Apr 2009)

When you arrive before people expect you to


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## Crackle (2 Apr 2009)

People don't even blink when they walk into the gents and you're washing down in the sink.


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## therams (2 Apr 2009)

When someone you say hello to everyday, is known by your work mates as "the other bloke who uses the shower"


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## col (2 Apr 2009)

When your bike is the only one in the bikeshed because the weather is crap.


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## mercurykev (2 Apr 2009)

when you attend business meetings wearing spd shoes.


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## MacB (2 Apr 2009)

when you hate days you're forced to use car or public transport


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## Dayvo (2 Apr 2009)

col said:


> When your bike is the only one in the bikeshed because the weather is crap.



When your bike is the only one in the bikeshed because the weather is hot.


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## col (2 Apr 2009)

Dayvo said:


> When your bike is the only one in the bikeshed because the weather is hot.




I had to think about that for a second


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## HLaB (2 Apr 2009)

When you forget your change of clothes and have to sit in lycra all day .


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## clarion (2 Apr 2009)

When you arrive in the office ten minutes early with a huge smile cause you managed a solo break from the A3 peloton


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## upsidedown (2 Apr 2009)

you look forward to budget day feeling fairly confident that mr darling won't be announcing a rise in "inner tube and banana tax"


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## John the Monkey (2 Apr 2009)

When at least one of your desk drawers contains spare cables, tools, a puncture kit, spare tyre levers, spare mini-pump...


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## sticky sherbert (2 Apr 2009)

you can eat and eat and eat and eat


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## Ivan Ardon (2 Apr 2009)

...you chose your next house so it's far enough away from work so you get a decent run in the morning.


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## fossyant (2 Apr 2009)

I have my kit hung on hangers on shelves, with a massive fan drying them...... have my own office, but no-one moans...other than a 'fellow' cyclist that comes in and says it stinks of sweat (on going joke - he's an ex. hardcore TT'er like me.....)

I have had comments from someone that a fan drying kit isn't eco....yeh....so......

Also had this week (first time ever) getting changed in another sites disabled loo.... 'rattle rattle' on the door handle...me 'oh sorry I'll be 2 minutes getting changed....'

"This is a disabled toilet"...well I get a move on... expecting some poor folk in a wheel chair...... nope..... get out, it's a colleague.... Me..."It's only me...I use it once a week blah.... (PS no bugger uses the loo...).......the toilets are really horrible and tiny....(she is not impressed)..

Anyway, she is perfectly OK at walking about, not disabled that I'd know....just lazy and heavy....FFS.....

She is so in need of the loo, she start's trying to have a laugh that I'd held up the loo..... with a senior member of staff that I'd just had a meeting with.... problem is the person she's talking to has a son who cycles lots (MTB races), fully knows I do as well...... 

I just apologised, I didn't have a go about her apparent non-disabled status.. laughed it off... silly cow.....


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## ianrauk (2 Apr 2009)

you get excited about getting a crank remover tool


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## grhm (2 Apr 2009)

fossyant said:


> I have my kit hung on hangers on shelves, with a massive fan drying them...... have my own office, but no-one moans...other than a 'fellow' cyclist that comes in and says it stinks of sweat (on going joke - he's an ex. hardcore TT'er like me.....)
> 
> I have had comments from someone that a fan drying kit isn't eco....yeh....so......



I have a rack to hang my clothes on that sits behind the PC - the hot air blasting out of there dries must thing by the time to go home.


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## garrilla (2 Apr 2009)

when your wool mix suit trousers have melted into the graze scab on your knee


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## Bollo (2 Apr 2009)

When you can't get your legs under the desk because of your secret stash of Wiggle boxes


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## pes (2 Apr 2009)

garrilla said:


> when your wool mix suit trousers have melted into the graze scab on your knee


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## nilling (2 Apr 2009)

You have all your cycling kit on a coat hanger hanging out of the office window


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## Cubist (2 Apr 2009)

When you make one concessionary trip in the car at the beginning of the week (or even on a weekend) to take five uniform shirts and five pairs of clean boxers, then cycle home on a Friday evening with five coathangers sticking out of your rucksack


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## dave r (2 Apr 2009)

*You're a proper commuting cyclist when

You hav'nt owned a car for years 
*


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## DrMekon (3 Apr 2009)

When you do have to use the car, it's touch and go whether the battery will have held enough charge.

When you take the bakfiets if a colleague needs to be taken to the station.


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## iacula (3 Apr 2009)

When you have to use the tatty towel somebody years ago left in the shower room, because you've forgotton yours.


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## eldudino (3 Apr 2009)

When there is no shower at work but you cycle anyway, using a combination of baby wipes, a towel, soap and water, hand towels etc.... basically anything to get you smelling vaguely human again.


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## Angelfishsolo (3 Apr 2009)

When you have _no idea_ how much fuel costs but do know which shop sells the cheapest bananas.


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## Landslide (3 Apr 2009)

When you can't give directions to motorists because your routes always make use of cut-throughs that are only accessible to bikes.


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## sunnyjim (3 Apr 2009)

When you carpet the hallway of your house with artificial grass.


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## jimboalee (3 Apr 2009)

Angelfishsolo said:


> When you have _no idea_ how much fuel costs but do know which shop sells the cheapest bananas.



Best yet by far.

No contest - I conceed.


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## Sh4rkyBloke (3 Apr 2009)

When you get in the car and wonder why your SPDs aren't clipping in to the accelerator...


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## c2c (3 Apr 2009)

when your missus says....." summats not right in this kitchen"..... cos you have actually put your bike in the shed for once.


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## jimboalee (3 Apr 2009)

c2c said:


> when your missus says....." summats not right in this kitchen"..... cos you have actually put your bike in the shed for once.



When your missus says..."You create me more washing than both your sons!! Why can't you go in the car for once...." and two years later,,,, your divorced.


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## Downward (3 Apr 2009)

Wash most of your bike clothes at work.

Use your Bike as a Clothes Horse.

Have numerous places where you keep a spare pair of work and cycle clothes.

Have more socks at work than at home.


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## the reluctant cyclist (3 Apr 2009)

... you get really unreasonably annoyed if some imposter fair weather cyclist nicks your space in the bike racks....

.... especially if they then go and padlock their new snazzy lock to the rack and are not seen again until the next time it's sunny!


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## jimboalee (3 Apr 2009)

the reluctant cyclist said:


> ... you get really unreasonably annoyed if some imposter fair weather cyclist nicks your space in the bike racks....
> 
> .... especially if they then go and padlock their new snazzy lock to the rack and are not seen again until the next time it's sunny!



That sounds familiar.


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## HJ (3 Apr 2009)

When you do a whole year with no concession to the weather, including ice, and arrive at work everyday with a big grin on your face...


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## LOGAN 5 (3 Apr 2009)

When dressed in cycling clothes feels more normal than anything else


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## alecstilleyedye (3 Apr 2009)

when monday-friday you ALWAYS have cycling socks on.


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## Bollo (3 Apr 2009)

...you spend most of your work time on CC.


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## palinurus (3 Apr 2009)

When you have more cycling shirts than work shirts. By far.


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## palinurus (3 Apr 2009)

You get to work in the snow only to find the site has been closed and you're pleased you didn't call to check.


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## palinurus (3 Apr 2009)

You taunt your colleagues by having dessert in the staff canteen. Every day.


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## MacB (3 Apr 2009)

palinurus said:


> You taunt your colleagues by having dessert in the staff canteen. Every day.



like it, will try and remember that one


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## Plax (3 Apr 2009)

the reluctant cyclist said:


> ... you get really unreasonably annoyed if some imposter fair weather cyclist nicks your space in the bike racks....



I hate that - I don't put my touring bike in the racks but put it in the corner held up on the propstand. Some sod has started just leaning his bike against the shed in my space. I can't put that bike in the racking because the mudguard gets in the way, and if I put the bike in between the racking it takes up two spaces so I don't like that.


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## goo_mason (3 Apr 2009)

... there's a constant reek of stale sweat coming off the cycling gear that's hanging over the desk partition and drying in the sun coming in the window.


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## eldudino (3 Apr 2009)

You constantly check which way the wind's blowing whilst sat at you desk and plan your route home accordingly.


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## Brahan (3 Apr 2009)

You feel smug for finally using the clean pants and socks that were stashed the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet during a rare moment of forethought.


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## Brahan (3 Apr 2009)

The smell of stale sweat means its time to enjoy some of your day.


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## Brahan (3 Apr 2009)

even on the Fridays (like today) when work finishes at 4:00 instead of 6:00 you still don't get home until 7:30


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## c2c (3 Apr 2009)

you ride to work.........even tho its your day off..!!


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## Priscilla Parsley (3 Apr 2009)

getting in a car makes you feel depressed and old


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## Niall McL (3 Apr 2009)

iacula said:


> When you have to use the tatty towel somebody years ago left in the shower room, because you've forgotton yours.



When you have to use a tea towel out the kitchen because even the tatty towel has been used by someone else.


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## c2c (3 Apr 2009)

Niall McL said:


> When you have to use a tea towel out the kitchen because even the tatty towel has been used by someone else.



when you have to use the j cloth cos even the tea towel, and the tatty towel have been used by someone else.....


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## Davywalnuts (3 Apr 2009)

When you put your bike before you in an accident and more worried about broken carbon forks than bones.. hey, if one leg works, you can still cycle!


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## biking_fox (3 Apr 2009)

When you're able to claim you raced someone into work today, and didn't break any traffic laws.

When you are proud of breaking the speed limit by 0.2 mph.


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## ChrisKH (3 Apr 2009)

your wife rings to tell you a car thief has rolled his stolen car and nose dived into your car and written it off. He then ran away and wasn't apprehended. And you laugh.


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## Downward (3 Apr 2009)

you own 14 bottles of shower gel


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## alecstilleyedye (3 Apr 2009)

converse to another post; you do have a car, but _by choice_ you never use it.


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## Flyingfox (3 Apr 2009)

..from a girls perspective its when you get to work and don't give a damn what you look like.


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## Morrisette (3 Apr 2009)

When people don't put boxes of books/stuff/junk in a certain area of the warehouse because, 'that's Morrisette's bike space'

Loving this topic! Wiggle boxes LOL....from where I'm sitting I can see three.....all mine


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## Morrisette (3 Apr 2009)

When, as a female in an office full of girls, you don't know the calorie content of a chocolate biscuit, and what's more, _Don't care!_


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## nilling (3 Apr 2009)

eldudino said:


> You constantly check which way the wind's blowing whilst sat at you desk and plan your route home accordingly.



+1  it's either a yippee! or doh!


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## Brains (3 Apr 2009)

You are the only person that can turn up in the office straight from a long weekend camping, unshaven, filthy and stinking of woodsmoke and be clean and booted and suited for an unscheduled meeting with clients in 15 mins


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## Brains (3 Apr 2009)

You never, ever, take the last shirt home.


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## hackbike 666 (3 Apr 2009)

Sorry if this has been posted but you get in through the snow where your moton/train colleagues have failed.

Also using the bike leaned up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of dodgy neighbour.(don't ask)

Probably not now but the habit has stuck.

Feel safer with it protecting me.


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## andrew-the-tortoise (3 Apr 2009)

Go checking your bike at lunchtime for slow punctures...


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## summerdays (3 Apr 2009)

When you cycle to work to hand in the sick note


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## Downward (3 Apr 2009)

You are excited by the gridlock on the local roads.


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## c2c (3 Apr 2009)

hackbike 666 said:


> Sorry if this has been posted but you get in through the snow where your moton/train colleagues have failed.
> 
> *Also using the bike leaned up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of dodgy neighbour.(don't ask)
> *
> ...




why did you lean your bike up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of a dodgy neighbour.???


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## hackbike 666 (3 Apr 2009)

c2c said:


> why did you lean your bike up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of a dodgy neighbour.???



Make it harder to get through the door and give me time for me to be ready for an attack possibly during the night.The way it is set out it could probably stop my door being opened easily.

It did get dodgy at the time but I know the bloke better now and we are now on better terms.I did hear him ranting upstairs at times and I thought he was on drugs but I just think he has anger issues.I still don't trust him though.As I said in uncertain times that's what I used it for.

His girlfriend has kicked him out because he smashed her flat up.(allegedly)


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## Wobbly John (3 Apr 2009)

You're a proper commuting cyclist when... 

...on the rare occasion you use the car, the journey seems much longer.


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## Bman (3 Apr 2009)

...when you anaylise the weight and volume of each item you buy at the supermarket on the way home


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## Stig-OT-Dump (3 Apr 2009)

You don't think it's weird to log the miles you've travelled to and from work...
...even though you can't claim them on expenses.


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## hackbike 666 (3 Apr 2009)

You wear a funny cycling shirt of which your work colleagues remark on virtually every day and also those same colleagues hilariously call you "bonnet fodder".


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## hackbike 666 (3 Apr 2009)

What waterproofs?


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## handsome joe (4 Apr 2009)

When you just can't take those tights off........they feel so good.


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## hackbike 666 (4 Apr 2009)

handsome joe said:


> When you just can't take those tights off........they feel so good.



No I think that has something to do with something else.


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## sunnyjim (4 Apr 2009)

Wobbly John said:


> You're a proper commuting cyclist when...
> 
> ...on the rare occasion you use the car, the journey seems much longer.



ummm..it IS much longer.
not only that, but I've got to walk from the unimportant_persons car park rather than park the trike right outside my office window so I can sit and admire it all day.


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## handsome joe (4 Apr 2009)

hackbike 666 said:


> No I think that has something to do with something else.



OK, my name's Handsome Joe and I have a problem. I’ve been a Lycra-abuser for 4 years, but i didn't realise the extent of my addiction till a few months ago. Day by day i am getting help with removing this insidious disease from my life.

This is my story. When i hit rock bottom. The first night and the following day was fine, but the next day my manager called me into her office. She pointed at my crotch, commenting how inappropriate Lycra was as office work wear and 'enough was enough but sorry I just can’t have someone walking around like this'. I explain my compulsion and how my tights were a second skin but my manager didn't understand, how could she? 

I was sent home on leave with the promise of their full support and some counselling. I went to pick up the kids from school. Yes, I felt the stares and heard the muffled giggles coming from the other parents. I didn’t care because I knew they weren't feeling the insulating qualities of this material. They stood shivering while I was snug, comfy and with a superior glow. When the school children saw me some pointed, with eyes bulging.....sorry...that's the wrong word....i mean enlarged...oh no....that's no right either. Anyway my kids were very quiet on the way home. 

My manager rang me a couple of days later to enquire if i was wearing 'normal' clothes. I drove her off with MY DEFINITION of 'normal clothes'. For some reason my wife banned me from taking or picking up the children from school. I stopped going shopping. Granted there was a peculiar smell coming from my tights after a week but in a strange way it was my 'smell', a friendly smell. 

After a month things took a turn for the worse. I am ashamed to say this but i couldn't face pulling them down when i urinated or when I cleared my bowels. Things were desperate. I resorted to making a little tear in my tights, front and rear, to allow me to carry on as normal. But things went further downhill and i lost my job, family. I now live in a hostel for Lycra-dependent men. I am still wearing my Lycra tights but through the detox program i have started to remove them twice a week for 5 minutes. With help and support i am slowly overcoming this addiction. Please past this message, as warning, onto other potential Lycra-abusers.


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## hackbike 666 (4 Apr 2009)

Very good.


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## gbb (4 Apr 2009)

Tynan said:


> done a whole year with no concession to the weather other than ice



Done a whole year with no concession, not even to the ice.

My proof...





Thats the result of cycling to work....not the bike left in the garden overnight.
They thought i'd gone too far that day...must admit, it was the hardest commute i'd ever done. I was cream crackered, just trying to ride in a straight line and fighting against the snow continually building up everwhere


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## palinurus (5 Apr 2009)

Another excuse to bring out those snowy commute bike pictures.


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## biking_fox (6 Apr 2009)

You get to race* against Lambourgini's and Ferraris some days ..... and you normally win.





* hey commuter racing counts even against cars that are stuck behind the bus for a mile. I tried drafting the Lambourgini on Friday but the things way too low, it doesn't get any higher than my front wheel, so I undertook it and just rode off.


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## the reluctant cyclist (6 Apr 2009)

I'm with you on the tights thing! I'm supposed to take mine off the moment I get in and put my jeans on but the "moment" seems to last longer and longer most evenings! 

They are v.comfy indeed!!! From a woman's point of view though I have to say they are not v.flattering in the arse dept!!!


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## Angelfishsolo (6 Apr 2009)

the reluctant cyclist said:


> They are v.comfy indeed!!! From a woman's point of view though I have to say they are not v.flattering in the arse dept!!!



Oh I don't know about that. I have seen some delightful lycra clad female derrières. All depends on the fitting.

With regards to wearing them I actually have mine on under my jeans, but then I am going out for a ride in a few hours (although I did get dressed at 7:00am)


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## Angelfishsolo (6 Apr 2009)

When you grip the steering wheel and wonder why the car won't stop.

When you make hand signals when behind teh wheel of the car that are NOT comments on others driving abilities.

When you try putting 60 PSI into your car tyres


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## Goffins (6 Apr 2009)

When you get funny looks while you're stealing milk from the tea & coffee service to add to your individual sachets of porridge that you keep in your draw.


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## Plax (7 Apr 2009)

Goffins said:


> When you get funny looks while you're stealing milk from the tea & coffee service to add to your individual sachets of porridge that you keep in your draw.



Crickey, you mean those little UHT pots, how many of them would it take to make a bowl or porridge I wonder. Or are you pilfering the actual contents of milk jug at breakfast?


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## Goffins (7 Apr 2009)

No, that would be stupid, funny but stupid.
We have a contraption that they put a giant cardboard box of milk inside, you push your cup against the lever and milk pours out.

It's almost like magic.


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## Wigsie (7 Apr 2009)

When you turn a stationary/storage cupboard into a wardrobe and have a pair of 'work slippers' so you dont have to wear your SPD's all day.


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## redjedi (7 Apr 2009)

When you don't mind turning up for work 45 mins early, so you can cool down, have a shower and breakfast and still be at your desk for 9am.


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## Stig-OT-Dump (7 Apr 2009)

When a colleague has seen you naked (because the lock on the toilet/shower door didn't catch properly)


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## Downward (7 Apr 2009)

Stig-OT-Dump said:


> When a colleague has seen you naked (because the lock on the toilet/shower door didn't catch properly)



Is that cycling related though


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## alecstilleyedye (8 Apr 2009)

Stig-OT-Dump said:


> When a colleague has seen you naked (because the lock on the toilet/shower door didn't catch properly)



and when you've seen someone else


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## Eat MY Dust (8 Apr 2009)

When Bonj tells you so?


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## The Eighth Man (8 Apr 2009)

When a can of Lynx is your morning shower


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## Rhythm Thief (8 Apr 2009)

grhm said:


> I have a rack to hang my clothes on that sits behind the PC - the hot air blasting out of there dries must thing by the time to go home.




When I worked in the milk processing room of a creamery a 25 mile ride away from my home, I used to drape my sweaty kit over the milk separators and cream pasteurisers to dry. If anyone ever got any butter that smelt a bit off, that may have been why.


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## buggi (8 Apr 2009)

when you are so famous at work for doing it, you can phone up the CEO and ask if you can have a locker


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## buggi (8 Apr 2009)

Ivan Ardon said:


> ...you chose your next house so it's far enough away from work so you get a decent run in the morning.



or you agree to take a job in Hinckley rather than Solihull because its 22 miles away rather than 3 miles away


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## buggi (9 Apr 2009)

you happily cycle 22 hilly miles but once at work always call the lift rather than take the stairs because its too knackering to walk up them 



Davywalnuts said:


> When you put your bike before you in an accident and more worried about broken carbon forks than bones.. hey, if one leg works, you can still cycle!



been there, lying in the road, telling the paramedic of course i didn't have a broken collar bone coz its not sticking up is it (o so wrong!), and "where is my bike??!!! is it ok?, are you sure? let me see it?, bring it in the ambulance, pleaaassee let me up so i can check it...."


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## Rhythm Thief (9 Apr 2009)

When you fall off your bike on the way home, damaging your helmet beyond repair and gashing your shoulder quite badly, the first thing you do is totter to the nearest bike shop, bleeding profusely, to buy a new helmet because you won't be able to get to work tomorrow otherwise.


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## buggi (9 Apr 2009)

when you shout "clear" to your mates as you cross the road on foot


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## Rhythm Thief (9 Apr 2009)

... or when you find yourself warning pedalestrians behind you of potholes or gravel in the road ahead. And they have no idea why you're waving your hand around behind you.


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## buggi (9 Apr 2009)

"Cobbles!"


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## ultraviolet (9 Apr 2009)

you injoy putting back on wet cycling shoes when leaving work for home


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## Brahan (9 Apr 2009)

sticky sherbert said:


> you can eat and eat and eat and eat



Yes. Agreed. 

I can eat a meal's worth of food by picking stuff here and there while cooking my meal.


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## Sh4rkyBloke (9 Apr 2009)

buggi said:


> when you shout "clear" to your mates as you cross the road on foot


  Nice one. I shall have to remember that one to confuse people.


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## janm399 (9 Apr 2009)

You have Wiggle boxes around your desk at work; and you can eat the free sweets they drop in without feeling guilty.

P.S. My last Wiggle order arrived *without* the chewy sweets. Grr!


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## Eat MY Dust (9 Apr 2009)

When you're such a good customer at Wiggle you can email and ask them for an empty bike box for a bike you have just sold, and it shows up next day free of charge!

I also emailed them for some sweets and they arrived next day FOC as well.


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## garrilla (9 Apr 2009)

janm399 said:


> You have Wiggle boxes around your desk at work; and you can eat the free sweets they drop in without feeling guilty.
> 
> P.S. My last Wiggle order arrived *without* the chewy sweets. Grr!




You want to complain about the sweets my friend, I just got new pedals delivered and I got my haribou!


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## yenrod (9 Apr 2009)

Your asked respeatedly by everybody and the dog - 'not on the bike today' - if you get to work _without_ a bike.

Can you imagine saying that to car drivers !


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## thomas (9 Apr 2009)

Sh4rkyBloke said:


> When you get in the car and wonder why your SPDs aren't clipping in to the accelerator...



TIP: Never try driving with SPDs in your shoes. Only turning the car around in my road, but I couldn't bring the clutch up without stalling because the SPD got caught 



Bollo said:


> ...you spend most of your work time on CC.



dumdeedumm deed um



andrew-the-tortoise said:


> Go checking your bike at lunchtime for slow punctures...



...or to make sure it's still there.

also, when you're hungry all day!


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## palinurus (9 Apr 2009)

When a colleague tells you how much mileage they put on their car last year and you've done more on the bike.


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## HJ (9 Apr 2009)

When you arrive at a training course and find that you were the only on who had cycled in. It was wonderful to see how embarrass the others looked when they had to admit to driving in, it was a cycling instructors training course...


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## arranandy (9 Apr 2009)

yenrod said:


> Your asked respeatedly by everybody and the dog - 'not on the bike today' - if you get to work _without_ a bike.



I get this one quite often, particularly if the weather is bad, then there's always the look of disbelieve when I tell them I have cycled in.


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## fossyant (9 Apr 2009)

Your garage is now full of bikes...we once had a car in there !!!!


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## buggi (9 Apr 2009)

your work colleagues tell you your slacking when you haven't cycled for 2 days.


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## fossyant (9 Apr 2009)

Even better.....

You joyfully email all your ex. colleagues that you cycled in the horrendous wind....

It took them hours, me...a couple of minutes longer......

Believe you me the comments were like 'superman fossy' etc..... they nearly fell off their chairs...ha..ha... 

Unfortunately, where I work now, that is my norm.....only if icy can I maybe get away with it....one or two of the slower folk manage it though.........


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## Two mile commute (12 Apr 2009)

When you look forward to the nights drawing in so you can use your new bike lights.


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## Angelfishsolo (12 Apr 2009)

I think that is true for any cyclist .



Two mile commute said:


> When you look forward to the nights drawing in so you can use your new bike lights.


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## hackbike 666 (12 Apr 2009)

Im a proper commuting cyclist as im just about ready to leave for today's commute.

P.S This morning's return at 2am was all blood and thunder.


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## HLaB (12 Apr 2009)

buggi said:


> you happily cycle 22 hilly miles but once at work always call the lift rather than take the stairs because its too knackering to walk up them


Our Admin staff have posed that question why when I cycle to work and look fit, do I take the lift?


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## dudi (12 Apr 2009)

you're a proper commuting cyclist when:
- You keep your water bottle on your desk constantly sipping water instead of gulping coffee... 
- You have your own bathroom in the morning that people know not to use until they've seen proof that you're fully dressed.


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## hackbike 666 (12 Apr 2009)

Your a proper cyclist when your legs ache from a previous commute.Commute 6.


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## Angelfishsolo (12 Apr 2009)

LMAO 



dudi said:


> - You have your own bathroom in the morning that people know not to use until they've seen proof that you're fully dressed.


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## buggi (12 Apr 2009)

HLaB said:


> Our Admin staff have posed that question why when I cycle to work and look fit, do I take the lift?



i have two answers for this:

(1) i deserve to take the lift as i have already done my workout

(2) there are posters around our place that state "taking the stairs is officially recognised as a sport". Well, it's not MY sport. MY sport is cycling  (what tosh anyway, if it was a sport there would be prizes and leagues and such... i think it only officially recognised as exercise)


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## Suerdusty (12 Apr 2009)

When forced to take a day off (Easter Sunday) you're up early helping the kids with their paper rounds


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## HJ (12 Apr 2009)

HLaB said:


> Our Admin staff have posed that question why when I cycle to work and look fit, do I take the lift?



I always find the hardest part of my commute is when get home and have to carry the bike to the third floor...


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## Crankarm (13 Apr 2009)

When eating lunch in the canteen colleagues tell you that if they as so much look at your plateful of food they will put on weight. 

Or they ask how far you cycle to work, what everyday, how long it takes. Then pause. Then say that you must be fit then. 

Or you are all dressed up in your gear ready to go home they say crikey you're bright, no chance of some one missing you. You reply that you would have thought that no one could hit you in such hi viz but there is no accounting for the judgement of some motorists

Or a colleague says "I think I saw you cycling to work today, did you see me? I was going to blow my horn but didn't as you were looking as if you were really concentrating."

Or "Oh look, it's pouring with rain outside. Some one is going to get very wet this evening."

A 17 stone colleague tells you (s)he used to cycle everywhere and to work, but not now as where they moved would mean cycling on busy and dangerous roads and 6 miles is too far.

Or a colleague says they have a bother/sister/son/daughter who is a proper cyclist who cycles everywhere.

Or an overweight heart attack candidate colleague says they would cycle but for the fact that it would make them out of breath hot and sweaty.

Or they tell you they would cycle but there simply isn't time as they are too busy. They drive to the gym straight after work. They prefer using a cycle machine in a gym.

Sitting in your works canteen eating your home prepared cycling lunch your unhealthy colleagues frequently bore you with their own gym exercise regimes and their 'healthy' eating whilst tucking into a rubberised burger and pale bap dripping fat into a plate of soggy chips in gravy.

But best of all you know when you are a proper cyclist when kids race you on their BMXs and mountain bikes with howls of laughter from their mates.


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## knonist (18 Apr 2009)

User1314 said:


> You're never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever late for work because of transport problems.



I am often late because of punctures!


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## knonist (18 Apr 2009)

when the wind direction and speed affact how much you eat!


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## buggi (18 Apr 2009)

knonist said:


> when the wind direction and speed affact how much you eat!



and you're the only person in the office who's checking what the wind direction and speed is!


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## cyberknight (18 Apr 2009)

When due to nearly getting killed every time you cycle home by ass hat lorry drivers you plan a longer safer route and call it training


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## gbb (18 Apr 2009)

When a female colleague says to you (after telling her you had a kebab last night)...'oooh, i thought you were a super fit guy...i thought you might even be a veggie'

Huh ...i'm not averse to a bit of self abuse you know.


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## Yellow Fang (18 Apr 2009)

When you ask around who has the bike at the bikeshed that you haven't seen before.


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## garrilla (18 Apr 2009)

When your journey to work is greater than 3 times the actual distance.


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## Losidan (19 Apr 2009)

therams said:


> When someone you say hello to everyday, is known by your work mates as "the other bloke who uses the shower"


I said hi as I walked past a dude in the corridor the other week as myself and a colleague were walking back to our office...Who is that?
Oh, just someone I know from the shower room...I've still not head the last of it


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## JosieG79 (9 Sep 2009)

When your handbag is a big red pannier.....


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## HobbesChoice (9 Sep 2009)

When you hear on the news that more longer train strikes are imminent and unexpectedly laugh (while feeling a bit smug)!


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## Wheeledweenie (9 Sep 2009)

Morrisette said:


> When, as a female in an office full of girls, you don't know the calorie content of a chocolate biscuit, and what's more, _Don't care!_



So true! 

1. When the tube drivers call a strike you don't care.
2. When you're head of a company cycling network that has 76 members.
3. When a colleague sidles up, asks if cyclings how you lost all that weight, gets a bike trains alone for two months then asks you to help her cycle in because 'you're really good at it'.


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## swee'pea99 (9 Sep 2009)

Welcome Josie! Nice handbag...


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## levad (9 Sep 2009)

... when your nickname is Lance


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## blxm (9 Sep 2009)

... people no longer ask if you cycled in to work today making little circular motions with their index fingers because they're sick of you asking them if they drove in while you make baboon-like steering wheel motions back at them.


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## BrumJim (9 Sep 2009)

....Metcheck is one of your most visited web-sites, and you know instinctively that papers blown onto the floor from your open window means a tough ride home tonight.


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## Lazy-Commuter (9 Sep 2009)

Inspired by BrumJim ..

... when you are MUCH more aware of what the weather's been doing, is doing and will be doing than any of your colleagues.


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## Tony B (9 Sep 2009)

> .Metcheck is one of your most visited web-sites, and you know instinctively that papers blown onto the floor from your open window means a tough ride home tonight



I didn't know you worked in my office?


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## Archie_tect (9 Sep 2009)

...when you cycle to work on auto-pilot and it's your day off.


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## BrumJim (9 Sep 2009)

Tony B said:


> I didn't know you worked in my office?



My boss didn't know that I worked in his office either...


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## fossyant (9 Sep 2009)

...when no-one at other sites blink an eye lid at you hauling the rucksack and helmet into meetings.............

....when you are the office's bike mechanic........REALLY......

....when no-one blinks an eye with the bike in your office (cos the nice new shiny shelter doesn't lock any more....grrrrrr)

....when no-one comments on your bike kit hung up in your office.....

...when one of the bosses comes in, looks at the bike, and asks if he can pick it up.........


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## threebikesmcginty (9 Sep 2009)

Bedtime reading changes from a good book to the bike porn that is Cycle Plus


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## GrasB (9 Sep 2009)

When you list your main transport as a bicycle then put down driving as your favourite hobby.


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## GrasB (9 Sep 2009)

When most people talk about their weekend cycle you talk about your weekend drive.


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## Cubist (10 Sep 2009)

I've definitely lost it this week. Yesterday I rode to work, realised I had a meeting which I would have to drive to, and gleefully used the excuse to ride a new route home to fetch the car! Then today, thinking I had a meeting I would have to drive to, drove to work, checked my diary and saw that the venue had changed to one I could walk to, drove home and got the bike out. Sorted!


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## mustapedalafaster (10 Sep 2009)

when .. your gym instructor at the office gym makes comments infront of the spin class with reference to you & Lance Armstrong .....

Love this Thread


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## jonny jeez (10 Sep 2009)

When you rear end a car, whilst looking in the window of a "new" cycle shop that has appeared on the high street.


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## threebikesmcginty (10 Sep 2009)

When you see a gorgeous girl on a bike and you think 'hmm lovely Reynolds steel frame'



Opps!! I pressed send instead of cancel.


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## smavter (10 Sep 2009)

When you work as a Mountain guide on Mt. Ventoux.


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## Wheeledweenie (10 Sep 2009)

threebikesmcginty said:


> When you see a gorgeous girl on a bike and you think 'hmm lovely Reynolds steel frame'



When a gorgeous guy in a very expensive car winks at you, instead of melting and giggling you snarl 'Get out of the f***ing cycle lane you t**t!


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## BentMikey (10 Sep 2009)

... getting told your legs are better than theirs by girls in a car.


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## threebikesmcginty (10 Sep 2009)

BentMikey said:


> ... getting told your legs are better than theirs by girls in a car.




smoother too!


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## BentMikey (10 Sep 2009)

more recently waxed anyway.


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## BentMikey (10 Sep 2009)

User1314 said:


> BentM
> 
> Are you that middle-aged bloke with shortish hair I saw cycling into Bayswater Road from Kensington Park on a recumbent on a sunny Saturday pm in August?
> 
> ...



It's possible, that's off my usual route, but I do go that way sometimes. Can you remember the date?


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## BentMikey (10 Sep 2009)

p.s. was it this bike?


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## John the Monkey (10 Sep 2009)

When people have (finally) stopped asking how come you can eat all day and not put on a pound.


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## BentMikey (10 Sep 2009)

Defo not me, Fridays and Mondays are my days off. There are quite a few recumbent riders in the park, it might have been Tiger:






Next time you could always take the halfway step and ask if the cyclist is Mikey?


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## manalog (10 Sep 2009)

Sh4rkyBloke said:


> When you get in the car and wonder why your SPDs aren't clipping in to the accelerator...



Very funny


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## manalog (10 Sep 2009)

You're a proper Cyclist when...you have to drive and find the seat too low.


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## skudupnorth (10 Sep 2009)

I am amazed how many of the quotes relate to my daily routine,made me chuckle.
Here's mine...when you work for a Porsche dealer but take more note of the cyclists riding past the window than the latest model in the showroom !!!
Just taken over the disabled bogs at work for my changing room because it is the least used one and there is of course more room to swing your pants ! I am also lucky enough to be able to hang all my kit and park the bike in the parts department i work in with no worry of getting the floor dirty when it gets grim out there.


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## BentMikey (10 Sep 2009)

When you drive the car somewhere, and have to nip back out of the bus lane before you get a ticket.


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## GrasB (10 Sep 2009)

When you drive into work with the car you've owned for almost 2 years & people start asking who's got the *new* flash car (yearless reg)


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## HonestMan1910 (11 Sep 2009)

When you sleep-in in the morning and drive to work and spend your lunch hour driving home to cycle back in later !

Either that or it is a really nice day and you just don't want to miss out.

B)


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## fossyant (11 Sep 2009)

When you are knackered.....and still take the long route home.

When you are driving, and end up driving round pot holes.


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## jonny jeez (11 Sep 2009)

When you stop yourself (within nano-seconds) from spraying teflon lube under your arms cos its in the same bag as your deodorant!

me at 8.15 yesterday


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## jonny jeez (11 Sep 2009)

BentMikey said:


> Next time you could always take the halfway step and ask if the cyclist is Mikey?



Or be really "halfway" brave and ask him.."are you Bent?"


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## Sore Thumb (11 Sep 2009)

You get vouchers to buy bike kit in your leaving card as I did today.

Then they lock you bike up in the toilet.


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## kevin_cambs_uk (11 Sep 2009)

when you have shaving foam in your ear while your sat at your desk !


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## smeg (11 Sep 2009)

levad said:


> ... when your nickname is Lance


I've had that as well "Oh look it's Lance Armstrong!" whilst walking down the stairs in my cycling gear.


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## kevin_cambs_uk (11 Sep 2009)

I have a cycling jersey with Eddy Mercx on it some where, once was over taken and the cheeky sods said "christ Mercx has put some weght on" !


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## smeg (11 Sep 2009)

...when your work colleagues tell you that you're mad, and you've cycled in all the way from -----!?


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## threebikesmcginty (11 Sep 2009)

smeg said:


> I've had that as well "Oh look it's Lance Armstrong!" whilst walking down the stairs in my cycling gear.



I did hear someone say 'he's no Miguel Indurain' once as I manfully struggled up a hill late one night years ago - I was pretty pissed at the time mind!!


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## CharlieB (12 Sep 2009)

…when your SPD cleats have worn a groove in the carpet all the way from the front door to your desk…


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## fossyant (13 Sep 2009)

The kids say.............

"You have more bike shoes, than 'normal shoes'................ doh....."

Got me.. and one pair of my bike shoes are worth more than all my 'civvy' stuff...... do I care...nope !

Committed............lock me up !......


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## ComedyPilot (13 Sep 2009)

you get a rush of endorphines (from the commute exercise) whilst sat at your desk, and it takes till 11:30 for them to wear off.


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## Trumpettom001 (13 Sep 2009)

you realise you have a puncture, and would rather use gaffer tape as a get-me-to-work, than cycle home, and get a spare tube


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## Trumpettom001 (13 Sep 2009)

You're stupid enough to carry a large roll of gaffer tape around with you, but don't carry a spare tube


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## Trumpettom001 (13 Sep 2009)

you cant be bothered to put the knobblies back on your mtb, as it has become your road bike, so you subsequently risk drifting into the canal on that gravvely surface....


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