# Cyclist branded 'stupid'



## Joffey (22 Feb 2017)

Cyclist branded 'stupid' after he was filmed riding down Osborne Road with no helmet and no hands:

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/see-brazen-osborne-road-cyclist-12637707

Now this lad looks like a scrote and he certainly should't be ridding down the road with no hands but the paper gives the impression that he is stupid for not wearing a helmet also and quotes Rule 59 of the Highway Code to back this up.

Also in the video there appears to be a taxi parked on a crossing and double yellow lines. The driver who filmed the footage wasn't outraged at this. Funny that!


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## Welsh wheels (22 Feb 2017)

He's got some skills, turning a corner no-handed. I haven't mastered that yet. I guess it depends under what conditions you're doing it, but it can be safe to ride with no hands to put a jacket on or something. I'm sure plenty of us have done it.


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## martint235 (22 Feb 2017)

I think the way the Highway Code refers to things as "Rules" is misleading. Point 60 is a rule about lights, point 59 is an advisory and not a very good one.


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## Phil Fouracre (22 Feb 2017)

Pointless 'story'! Tidy bit of riding - what business is it of the idiot filming it??


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## fossyant (22 Feb 2017)

Just a kid. Quiet road, riding perfectly fine. You should see the lads on the A57 in the 'lovely' Gorton - no hands, no lights, weaving down the road on the wrong side. I was so outraged I shook my head and didn't film them. The kids locally like to play chicken with cars !


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## jarlrmai (22 Feb 2017)

I ride no handed all the time, putting on a jacket or eating a gel or whatever. Our group came across a kid on Sunday riding the wrong way down the road doing a wheelie and talking on his phone. I think it's disingenuous of the media to bunch everyone in together so scrotes on bikes are cyclists.


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## jefmcg (22 Feb 2017)

What's amazing is there are 4 comments under the article so far, and none have mentioned road tax


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## Joffey (22 Feb 2017)

jefmcg said:


> What's amazing is there are 4 comments under the article so far, and none have mentioned road tax


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## Drago (22 Feb 2017)

Local chip wrapper in anti-cyclist stance shocker.


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## Jody (22 Feb 2017)

Welsh wheels said:


> He's got some skills, turning a corner no-handed. .



He starts to turn the corner no handed but then puts his left hand on the bars to save going onto the opposite side


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## mjr (22 Feb 2017)

jarlrmai said:


> I think it's disingenuous of the media to bunch everyone in together so scrotes on bikes are cyclists.


I think it's disingenuous of cyclists to join in the media's bike-bashing by claiming people who ride bikes differently to them aren't cyclists. Good luck to anyone who can ride no-handed. I saw tons of them in the Netherlands, including one chap eating breakfast as he pedalled through central Dordrecht. Almost no-one does it in England, probably because most people are shoot-scared of the stupid motorists who jump give-ways and red lights.

Do you think the dashcam filmer is the same Paul Anderson who uses his Youtube channel to warn motorists where the speed cameras are?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkJ3xPXfjdE


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## Jody (22 Feb 2017)

jarlrmai said:


> I ride no handed all the time, putting on a jacket or eating a gel or whatever. .



Same here. On road, off road, group selfies and allsorts. Its a great skill to have. Although I had to grow a pair first time I tried no hands on the rollers.


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## martint235 (22 Feb 2017)

I think anyone who rides with no hands on the bars should be taken out, shot, quartered, burned at the stake and then their ashes scattered to the 4 winds.*





*This is purely jealously as I have never mastered the skill


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## ianrauk (22 Feb 2017)

I like riding with no hands.. though not that great at it these days.


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## Nigel-YZ1 (22 Feb 2017)

This guy must have the most exciting channel on Youtube...


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## PK99 (22 Feb 2017)

martint235 said:


> I think anyone who rides with no hands on the bars should be taken out, shot, quartered, burned at the stake and then their ashes scattered to the 4 winds.*
> 
> 
> ll



Thar certainly should have been done to the twot riding oh hands through Cambridge the other week, hands thrust deep into jacket pockets (temp was hovering around zero).


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## jefmcg (22 Feb 2017)

[QUOTE 4693705, member: 259"]I think this one has to be a contender!



_"I've got a range of rivets here, various different sizes..."_[/QUOTE]
No, that video is riveting.


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## glasgowcyclist (22 Feb 2017)

jefmcg said:


> No, that video is riveting.



Nailed it!


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## Bimble (22 Feb 2017)

Nigel-YZ1 said:


> This guy must have the most exciting channel on Youtube...



I nominate this guy ... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeR0n8d3ShTn_yrMhpwyE1Q


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnDDnJbQJsM


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## Lonestar (22 Feb 2017)

martint235 said:


> I think anyone who rides with no hands on the bars should be taken out, shot, quartered, burned at the stake and then their ashes scattered to the 4 winds.*
> *This is purely jealously as I have never mastered the skill



It can be very inconsiderate...It's generally done by the cyclist in front who forgets that anyone is behind them...Cycles at 10mph and then whips out the mobile phone as what happened to me the other day.

TBH....I'm never going to be trying to do this.I tried it many years ago and cocked up and have no incentive to try it again.


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## PMarkey (22 Feb 2017)

A skill I am determined to master this year as I have never been able to ride no handed .

Paul


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## Inertia (22 Feb 2017)

Bimble said:


> I nominate this guy ... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeR0n8d3ShTn_yrMhpwyE1Q
> 
> 
> View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnDDnJbQJsM



omg, Sheldon lives


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## jefmcg (22 Feb 2017)

jefmcg said:


> What's amazing is there are 4 comments under the article so far, and none have mentioned road tax


Well, still no mention of tax, but as of 49 minutes ago, a commenter mentioned insurance. Still, only 1 in 24 comments: is that a new record?


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## User33236 (22 Feb 2017)

I've got a nice scar on my chin from the last time I tried it as a kid. Don't plan on a repeat event either


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## steveindenmark (22 Feb 2017)

Doesn't the dimwit of a cyclists get a couple of bonus point for his very clear left hand indication?


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## TheDoctor (22 Feb 2017)

Handy Hint.
If someone tells you they can't ride no-hands, riding past them no-hands will not win you many Brownie points.
Especially if you're riding their bike at the time.


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## martint235 (22 Feb 2017)

TheDoctor said:


> Handy Hint.
> If someone tells you they can't ride no-hands, riding past them no-hands will not win you many Brownie points.
> Especially if you're riding their bike at the time.


To be honest anyone who can ride my bike for more than a few yards gets brownie points


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## Racing roadkill (22 Feb 2017)

Riding no handed is really just a matter of growing a pair. It's not actually that difficult, but convincing yourself it's not a bad idea, is. [Deleted by mod] Riding no handed in this country when there is traffic around is not a terribly bright move either I.M.O.


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## Pat "5mph" (22 Feb 2017)

Racing roadkill said:


> Riding no handed is really just a matter of growing a pair. It's not actually that difficult, but convincing yourself it's not a bad idea, is. [Deleted by Mod] Riding no handed in this country when there is traffic around is not a terribly bright move either I.M.O.


I managed no handed for a few yards the other day, lidless too.
There was no traffic, but there could have been.
I am aiming to practice more, avert your eyes


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## palinurus (22 Feb 2017)

jarlrmai said:


> I ride no handed all the time,



shoot, so do I. I do it for no other reason than I like the feeling of doing it. I probably do it for a bit most mornings, usually while riding through the quiet roads on the posh estate.


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## RedRider (22 Feb 2017)




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## CanucksTraveller (22 Feb 2017)

Riding no hands... smoking....
Good job the Chronicle wasn't around in 1930.


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## steveindenmark (22 Feb 2017)

CanucksTraveller said:


> View attachment 339185
> 
> 
> Riding no hands... smoking....
> Good job the Chronicle wasn't around in 1930.



But look at all that protection. I would be standing on the seat wearing that lot.


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## Lonestar (22 Feb 2017)

Not really much fun when they do it on the CS 3.


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## Bollo (22 Feb 2017)

CanucksTraveller said:


> View attachment 339185
> 
> 
> Riding no hands... smoking....
> Good job the Chronicle wasn't around in 1930.


I'm most concerned about the other hand, which appears to be reaching down for a cheeky Jodrell.


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## ufkacbln (23 Feb 2017)

mjr said:


> I think it's disingenuous of cyclists to join in the media's bike-bashing by claiming people who ride bikes differently to them aren't cyclists. Good luck to anyone who can ride no-handed. I saw tons of them in the Netherlands, including one chap eating breakfast as he pedalled through central Dordrecht. Almost no-one does it in England, probably because most people are shoot-scared of the stupid motorists who jump give-ways and red lights.
> 
> Do you think the dashcam filmer is the same Paul Anderson who uses his Youtube channel to warn motorists where the speed cameras are?
> 
> View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkJ3xPXfjdE




These amuse me.....

Given the extent of warnings and clear signing, anyone who gets caught bytes camera is really either too inobservance to be able to drive safely or has deliberately chosen to ignore the signing


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## Drago (23 Feb 2017)

The other day I cycled a few yards no hands, lidless, and not even wearing a condom.


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## MartinQ (23 Feb 2017)

CanucksTraveller said:


> View attachment 339185
> 
> 
> Riding no hands... smoking....
> Good job the Chronicle wasn't around in 1930.



Looks like it was ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evening_Chronicle
The _Chronicle_ originated as the _*Newcastle Chronicle*_, founded in 1764 as a weekly newspaper by Thomas Stack. The paper was owned by his descendants until 1850, when it was sold to a consortium led by Mark William Lambert, a local businessman. The repeal of the taxes on newspapers in 1855, along with the hiring of new journalists and the installation of a new printing press created an opportunity to expand the newspaper. On May 1, 1858, the _Newcastle Daily Chronicle_ was launched. Its editor was Joseph Cowen, who became the sole owner at the end of 1859. He soon turned the _Chronicle_ into the most successful newspaper in north-eastern England and one of the most successful provincial newspapers of the 19th century.[2]

Must be that the readers were down the pub / smoking tabs / racing their pigeons / wippets & didn't get too worked up about the horrendous H&S risk


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## keithmac (23 Feb 2017)

Easiiest way to check a motorcycle is in correct alignment is to release hands from the bars and see where you have to move your weight to remain going straight..

Obviously not for long, on a quiet private road and hands only an inch or two from the grips.


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## MarkF (23 Feb 2017)

PMarkey said:


> A skill I am determined to master this year as I have never been able to ride no handed .
> Paul



I could ride and steer with no hands as kid, no problem, but now I can't, not for more than few seconds..... and I try most days.

It's a wonder nobody has uploaded a vid of my lad, he rides along a busy A road to the gym, he's never owned a helmet and on his unicycle, he has nowhere to put his hands anyway.  I think Paul Alderson would explode if he saw him as he usually has an angle grinder dangling from one arm.


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## Spinney (23 Feb 2017)

Pat "5mph" said:


> I managed no handed for a few yards the other day, lidless too.
> There was no traffic, but there could have been.
> I am aiming to practice more, avert your eyes


Just make sure you don't grow a pair, Pat!


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## Pat "5mph" (23 Feb 2017)

Spinney said:


> Just make sure you don't grow a pair, Pat!


But @Spinney I've already got a pair


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## Spinney (23 Feb 2017)

Pat "5mph" said:


> But @Spinney I've already got a pair


I don't think racing roadkill meant that kind of pair!! 
(Do they help you balance??)


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## Pat "5mph" (23 Feb 2017)

Spinney said:


> I don't think racing roadkill meant that kind of pair!!
> (Do they help you balance??)


No, but they can help with getting a more aero position


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## ufkacbln (24 Feb 2017)

Pat "5mph" said:


> No, but they can help with getting a more aero position



If you ride a recumbent then you need one of these:






It is called an "Aerobelly" and improves the airflow as you cycle in a reclined position


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## Pat "5mph" (24 Feb 2017)

@Cunobelin .... meh!


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## Trickedem (25 Feb 2017)

ianrauk said:


> I like riding with no hands.. though not that great at it these days.








and here's the proof. @ianrauk wobbling through France


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## subaqua (25 Feb 2017)

hoodie on, hands in pockets cos its cold. turning corners no handed

thats me going to the shops for more beer.


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## DaveReading (25 Feb 2017)

MarkF said:


> I could ride and steer with no hands as kid, no problem, but now I can't, not for more than few seconds..... and I try most days.



I wonder if changes in frame and fork geometry over the years have had an effect? I struggle too, nowadays, whereas I had no problem as a kid.


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## jefmcg (25 Feb 2017)

Trickedem said:


> View attachment 339456
> 
> and here's the proof. @ianrauk wobbling through France


Brazen!


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

... and the worst and most unforgivable heinous crime that a cyclist can commit!




..a single pannier


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## Drago (25 Feb 2017)

A single pannier, no helmet, and smoking a joint, while eating a dead cat.


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## MontyVeda (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> ... and the worst and most unforgivable heinous crime that a cyclist can commit!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


why take two when only one is required?


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> why take two when only one is required?



Balance?

If panniers were meant to be used singly (Insert chosen Deity) would not have made them in pairs!!!!!!


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

Drago said:


> A single pannier, no helmet, and smoking a joint, while eating a dead cat.



ianrauk is in fact Arthur Boyt AICMFP


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## subaqua (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> Balance?
> 
> If panniers were meant to be used singly (Insert chosen Deity) would not have made them in pairs!!!!!!



Altura urban sold singly ....... as are ortlieb .... 

And only not eating the dead cat means it ain't me  


Dead pig mmmm bacon butties


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## MontyVeda (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> Balance?
> 
> If panniers were meant to be used singly (Insert chosen Deity) would not have made them in pairs!!!!!!


All those exclamation marks don't make you any less wrong.

People who think only one pannier affects balance are clearly inexperienced when it comes to using a pannier.


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## Drago (25 Feb 2017)

It's not clever to use only one pannier when carrying an anvil


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## vickster (25 Feb 2017)

Drago said:


> It's not clever to use only one pannier when carrying an anvil


We're not all as stupid as you


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> All those exclamation marks don't make you any less wrong.
> 
> People who think only one pannier affects balance are clearly inexperienced when it comes to using a pannier.



It is just common sense that a weight on one side causes an imbalance
You are wasting energy balancing the bike... even if you don't realise it



subaqua said:


> Altura urban sold singly ....... as are ortlieb ....
> 
> And only not eating the dead cat means it ain't me
> 
> ...




Stop being sensible

Ortlieb are sold singly in case you cannot afford a pair. Altura simply copied the trend


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## subaqua (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> It is just common sense that a weight on one side causes an imbalance
> You are wasting energy balancing the bike... even if you don't realise it
> 
> 
> ...




I use 2 when going for beer . As I can get more that way .


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

subaqua said:


> I use 2 when going for beer . As I can get more that way .



I hope you place an equal number of cans / bottles in each pannier


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## DaveReading (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> You are wasting energy balancing the bike... even if you don't realise it



So is the pannier expending energy unbalancing the bike ?


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

DaveReading said:


> So is the pannier expending energy unbalancing the bike ?



It is exerting a force


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

User said:


> You should always ride with one pannier to counterbalance all the drive chain.


My drive train is offset as are many, the counterbalance is integral to the design

The other flaw being that if this was true you would need different pannier weights as the centre of the drive train weight changes as you change gears?


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## Drago (25 Feb 2017)

I once read that Hitler was a purveyor of the single pannier look, whereas Churchill likes an equal number of bags at the back.


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## DaveReading (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> It is exerting a force



Which isn't the same thing.

If I lean over, I can exert a force that cancels out the one produced by my single pannier. Neither force involves any expenditure, or waste, of energy.


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

DaveReading said:


> Which isn't the same thing.
> 
> If I lean over, I can exert a force that cancels out the one produced by my single pannier. Neither force involves any expenditure, or waste, of energy.


But you admit that you are being forced to change your riding style because of the single pannier?


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## DaveReading (25 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> But you admit that you are being forced to change your riding style because of the single pannier?



Not really. I'm probably leaning over by less than a degree to provide the counterbalancing force. Far less than I would be doing when cornering (which equally doesn't involve me expending any energy).


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## DaveReading (25 Feb 2017)

User13710 said:


> One pannier or two, prepare to lose the will to live.



Well we're not all as well-balanced as you.


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## Pat "5mph" (25 Feb 2017)

User said:


> You should always ride with one pannier to counterbalance all the drive chain.


My single pannier is on the drive side, maybe that's why I'm having difficulties turning sharp right!


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

Drago said:


> I once read that Hitler was a purveyor of the single pannier look, whereas Churchill likes an equal number of bags at the back.



Whereas allegedly Goebbels doesn't use panniers at all?


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## Drago (25 Feb 2017)

Goebbels rode a fixie.


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## ufkacbln (25 Feb 2017)

Drago said:


> Goebbels rode a fixie.



... and Hitler a Unicycle?

(Edited - found the video I wanted)


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## MontyVeda (26 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> It is just common sense that a weight on one side causes an imbalance
> You are wasting energy balancing the bike... even if you don't realise it


You're wasting energy trying to convince us you're right... which as usual, you're not.


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## ufkacbln (26 Feb 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> You're wasting energy trying to convince us you're right... which as usual, you're not.




Nope - I am right AND left

That is the whole point of a *pair* of panniers

A single pannier could be right... or left, but that is a different discussion altogether

Should the pannier be on the traffic side, or the pavement side. Does the increased visibility of the outside position counter the additional safety of the contents with the inside position?

A bit like a sense of humour, you either get the joke or don't


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## DaveReading (26 Feb 2017)

Good try.


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## ufkacbln (27 Feb 2017)

OF course the other answer is to strap the single pannier to the top of the rack....... in which case does it cease to be a single pannier and become a rack bag?


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## ufkacbln (27 Feb 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> You're wasting energy trying to convince us you're right... which as usual, you're not.




Read the posts, read the replies, look at the likes.....

Then if you are really still of the mind that I am trying to convince you that Goebbels didn't use panniers, Hitler rode a Unicycle and that panniers were really designed by an omnipotent deity please feel free continue with the personal attacks

The usual prejudiced clique failed yet again

In the meanwhile I will continue to respond with those who understood the joke


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## Tim Hall (27 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> In the meanwhile I will continue to respond with those who understood the joke


I think, perhaps, you need to work on your delivery.


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## growingvegetables (27 Feb 2017)

User13710 said:


> Don't say I didn't warn you all .


Especially when none of the above have noticed he was cycling on the wrong side of the road ... for France


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

growingvegetables said:


> Especially when none of the above have noticed he was cycling on the wrong side of the road ... for France



Assumed he was having problems steering due to the imbalance of a single pannier


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

Tim Hall said:


> I think, perhaps, you need to work on your delivery.



Worked for all but a few.


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

User13710 said:


> Don't say I didn't warn you all .



probably as predictable as your inability to actually contribute something to the thread?


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## jefmcg (28 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> Worked for all but a few.


And they all expressed their appreciation of your humour by not clicking "like"?


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## ianrauk (28 Feb 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> You're wasting energy trying to convince us you're right... which as usual, you're not.




Agreed. A complete load of made up old cobblers.


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## MontyVeda (28 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> Worked for all but a few.


Which jolly jape did we miss?


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## DaveReading (28 Feb 2017)

I laughed so much, when it was pointed out to me it was a joke, that I nearly fell of my bike.


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

As always ... those who understood are fine, others are now in a desperate frenzy to cover the fact they didn't and justify their posts

Tragic, but there you are

I am happy with those who understood, and thank you for your replies and participation

We will leave the others to chunter away in their little support group


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## User482 (28 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> But you admit that you are being forced to change your riding style because of the single pannier?



To counterbalance my single pannier, I make sure that I cycle to work making right turns only, whereas on the way home, I turn only to the left. Otherwise, it's all too easy to fall over.


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

User482 said:


> To counterbalance my single pannier, I make sure that I cycle to work making right turns only, whereas on the way home, I turn only to the left. Otherwise, it's all too easy to fall over.



Bizarrely as I travel round a harbour... that is exactly what I do as well.... regardless of which bike / trike I use and the number of panniers (or lack of)


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## Drago (28 Feb 2017)

I've noticed some of my organs, like my heart, liver, scrotum etc, are off to one side, so I load a pannier on the opposite side accordingly.


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## Drago (28 Feb 2017)

Yes, it's a hideous deformity.


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

User said:


> Scrotum?


You are Sir Henry AICMFP


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## User482 (28 Feb 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> Bizarrely as I travel round a harbour... that is exactly what I do as well.... regardless of which bike / trike I use and the number of panniers (or lack of)


I had to change my route home today, because of a crosswind. It's a tricky business.


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## ufkacbln (28 Feb 2017)

User482 said:


> I had to change my route home today, because of a crosswind. It's a tricky business.



Recumbent Trike with fairing - no issue with crosswinds


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## Drago (28 Feb 2017)

Much like that, although protruding from my left knee. Quite inconvenient.


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## MontyVeda (1 Mar 2017)

Cunobelin said:


> As always ... those who understood are fine, others are now in a desperate frenzy to cover the fact they didn't and justify their posts
> 
> ...



Meanwhile, up and coming comedian Cunnners was frantically making post after post trying to inform the forum that he'd cracked a joke... which personally, I'm glad went over my head.


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## User482 (1 Mar 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> Meanwhile, up and coming comedian Cunnners was frantically making post after post trying to inform the forum that he'd cracked a joke... which personally, I'm glad went over my head.


Elapsed time varies, relative to the position of the observer


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## ufkacbln (1 Mar 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> Meanwhile, up and coming comedian Cunnners was frantically making post after post trying to inform the forum that he'd cracked a joke... which personally, I'm glad went over my head.




A fish joke....another one for the sig line!


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## ufkacbln (1 Mar 2017)

Drago said:


> Much like that, although protruding from my left knee. Quite inconvenient.


Just the one knee ..are we back to WW2 generals


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