# pointless bicycle accessories



## tommaguzzi (20 Apr 2017)

Here is my starter for 10, i have just seen this on eBay.

http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wrist-Band-...0-800-810-1000-OS486-/302178064147?nav=SEARCH


It has me wondering is this the most pointless / useless cycle accessory ever.

I am sure some of you can think of other examples.


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## Drago (20 Apr 2017)

Spoke reflectors.


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## ColinJ (20 Apr 2017)

For a lot of people, it is the _BIKE_, judging from the number of them that are ridden once or twice but then end up in a shed and are never ridden again!


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## Venod (20 Apr 2017)

tommaguzzi said:


> Here is my starter for 10, i have just seen this on eBay.
> 
> http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wrist-Band-...0-800-810-1000-OS486-/302178064147?nav=SEARCH
> 
> ...



But its not a cycling accessory, its so you can use your cycling Garmin for other purposes.


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## Dismount (20 Apr 2017)

Genuine question. Why are spoke reflector's pointless? Every new bike I have purchased come pre-fitted?


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## Pro Tour Punditry (20 Apr 2017)

Strava


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## marshmella (20 Apr 2017)

tommaguzzi said:


> Here is my starter for 10, i have just seen this on eBay.
> 
> http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wrist-Band-...0-800-810-1000-OS486-/302178064147?nav=SEARCH
> 
> ...


Some people will try and flog anything on ebay..and there's only 9 available so you better hurry


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## KnackeredBike (20 Apr 2017)

Surely different for everybody. For me helmet (because I won't ride a bike WITH one), others would say earphones but I won't ride a bike WITHOUT them.


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## Venod (20 Apr 2017)

Gear Indicators


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## Heltor Chasca (20 Apr 2017)

I had a bar mounted water cannon when I was a kid until it broke. The crashes oh man the crashes. 

I want one now though.


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## snorri (20 Apr 2017)

Dismount said:


> Genuine question. Why are spoke reflector's pointless? Every new bike I have purchased come pre-fitted?


It's aesthetics, bike snobs don't like them, but they seem quite harmless to me.
Not sure if I have still have them or not, they were on one bike when I got it.


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## Drago (20 Apr 2017)

Dismount said:


> Genuine question. Why are spoke reflector's pointless? Every new bike I have purchased come pre-fitted?



Next time you're out see how many bikes still have them fitted. An item so unwanted is pretty pointless.


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## Venod (20 Apr 2017)

Dismount said:


> Genuine question. Why are spoke reflector's pointless? Every new bike I have purchased come pre-fitted?



A bit pointless if you only ride in daylight.


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## Dismount (20 Apr 2017)

That means I would have to slow down I usually whiz by other cyclists


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## damj (20 Apr 2017)

What was I thinking?


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## winjim (20 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Indicators. Gloves with indicators.


Helmets with indicators. Brake lights. Helmets with brake lights. Laser projection lights. Basically any bike light that's not just a bike light.


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## screenman (20 Apr 2017)

Those mudguards.


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## Drago (20 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Just because the owners don't want them, doesn't make them pointless. If that were the case xxxx car manufacturer could dispense with the flashing yellow lights at the corners.



I'm not suggesting they might not have utilitarian value. I'm suggesting that something most cyclists throw in the bin at the first opportunity is pointless.


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## Dismount (20 Apr 2017)

Oddly I kept on my spoke reflector's and removed the front and rear reflectors. I needed the space for lights and a saddle bag.


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## steveindenmark (20 Apr 2017)

Those bright plasic bobble things that slide up and down spokes.

Hard to believe that someone rode TCR with loads of them on the wheels. The noise would drive me nuts and it must have made the dogs go barking mad.


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## Heltor Chasca (20 Apr 2017)

Surly still sell their bikes with spoke protectors. Then we all take them off. You rarely see a bike with one. Do they know something I do not?


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## winjim (20 Apr 2017)

Heltor Chasca said:


> Surly still sell their bikes with spoke protectors. Then we all take them off. You rarely see a bike with one. Do they know something I do not?


They know they're a legal requirement at point of sale.


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## Drago (20 Apr 2017)

The law makes them sell them that way. Were just sticking two fingers at the establishment by removing by them.


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## winjim (20 Apr 2017)

Drago said:


> The law makes them sell them that way. Were just sticking two fingers at the establishment by removing by them.


Fight the power.


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## Heltor Chasca (20 Apr 2017)

winjim said:


> They know they're a legal requirement at point of sale.



Really? In the States? Or in the UK?

Wait: April the 1st has gone. I'm feeling vulnerable. Two bikes I've bought in the last 2 years didn't have them. I'll sue the baskets.


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## Drago (20 Apr 2017)

Its unlawful for a shop to sell a bike that doesn't conform to BSEN14764/5/6, or 147682. Oddly, the standard itself doesnt make direct reference to the reflectors, but in turn itself quotes the pointnof sale regs for each specific EU country, which doesn't immediately spring to mind but doubtless someone will be along soon to remedy that.


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## Alan O (20 Apr 2017)

Are people perhaps confusing spoke reflectors and spoke protectors here? Reflectors are a legal requirement at the point of sale, but protectors are not as far as I know.


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## Cuchilo (20 Apr 2017)

Wheels


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## youngoldbloke (20 Apr 2017)

Presta valve lock-rings, and dust-caps once you've fitted the tube. BTW what _are_ 'spoke protectors'?


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## Heltor Chasca (20 Apr 2017)

Alan O said:


> Are people perhaps confusing spoke reflectors and spoke protectors here? Reflectors are a legal requirement at the point of sale, but protectors are not as far as I know.



Phew. So The kids can keep their mini frisbees then? And why do they go Yellow like old sellotape?


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## youngoldbloke (20 Apr 2017)

Heltor Chasca said:


> Phew. So The kids can keep their mini frisbees then? And why do they go Yellow like old sellotape?


I see ......... we're talking Dork Discs


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## Shortandcrisp (20 Apr 2017)

Marmion said:


> Strava



Good man!


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## youngoldbloke (20 Apr 2017)

https://www.bike24.com/p227380.html


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## Dirtyhanz (20 Apr 2017)

Cycling magazines 

Maybe one or two are ok but most are useless


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## jefmcg (20 Apr 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> View attachment 348453
> https://www.bike24.com/p227380.html


If we are going that way, I vote the trans £100 Campagnolo corkscrew 




or the t-shirt with a picture of the Campagnolo corkscrew because ......why?


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## KnackeredBike (20 Apr 2017)

Heltor Chasca said:


> Phew. So The kids can keep their mini frisbees then? And why do they go Yellow like old sellotape?


They don't go yellow, your eyes just need adjustment.


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## screenman (20 Apr 2017)

Inner tubes.


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## stalagmike (20 Apr 2017)

So do I need to take the spoke reflectors off my wheels so as not to appear a dork?


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## Yellow Saddle (20 Apr 2017)

steveindenmark said:


> Those bright plasic bobble things that slide up and down spokes.
> 
> Hard to believe that someone rode TCR with loads of them on the wheels. The noise would drive me nuts and it must have made the dogs go barking mad.



I built a front wheel with those that I break out every now and again at one of those fun or protest rides where people dress up. Unfortunately, centripital force renders them noiseless any speeds above about 5 kph. I can assure you, they don't drive you nuts. They're quite disappointing in the noise department, actually.


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## Heltor Chasca (20 Apr 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> I see ......... we're talking Dork Discs



Thumbs up.


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## Yellow Saddle (20 Apr 2017)

Dirtyhanz said:


> Cycling magazines
> 
> Maybe one or two are ok but most are useless


I bet you cannot name a single OK one.


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## Yellow Saddle (20 Apr 2017)

stalagmike said:


> So do I need to take the spoke reflectors off my wheels so as not to appear a dork?



Too late, we already know what you are.


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## arch684 (20 Apr 2017)

Anybody seen the things call cats ears that attach to a helmet and hang down just infront of you ears to cut wind noise.The silliest thing i'v ever seen


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## gaijintendo (20 Apr 2017)

Yellow Saddle said:


> I built a front wheel with those that I break out every now and again at one of those fun or protest rides where people dress up. Unfortunately, centripital force renders them noiseless any speeds above about 5 kph. I can assure you, they don't drive you nuts. They're quite disappointing in the noise department, actually.


Tape a playing card to your fork then!

Edit: also these: http://www.prezzybox.com/turbospoke...MPFV9YZDZhYLzNVS_0lv0sh3GucQCLvOpAaAhDu8P8HAQ


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## Dirtyhanz (20 Apr 2017)

Yellow Saddle said:


> I bet you cannot name a single OK one.


boneshaker 
Only magazine I would buy


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## nickyboy (20 Apr 2017)

Drago said:


> Its unlawful for a shop to sell a bike that doesn't conform to BSEN14764/5/6, or 147682. Oddly, the standard itself doesnt make direct reference to the reflectors, but in turn itself quotes the pointnof sale regs for each specific EU country, which doesn't immediately spring to mind but doubtless someone will be along soon to remedy that.



Whilst it's far from useless, doesn't a bell also full under those regs? Certainly all the bikes for sale in Decathlon have a cheap "dinger" bell fitted (along with spoke reflectors)

Useless accessory....those cheap gps trackers that rely on other users to be in range to find it for you, rather than a real tracker. I give you the "Cricket"

http://www.b45h.com/


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## winjim (20 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Apologies, it got confused between reflectors and protectors.


I'm not confused. I may well be _wrong_, but that's a different thing.

ETA: Here's the legislation mentioning bells and reflectors 
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2010/198/regulation/4/made

EN14781 says:
4.16 Spoke protector 
A bicycle with rear gear-change sprockets *can* be fitted with a spoke-protector guard to prevent the chain interfering 
with or stopping rotation of the wheel through improper adjustment or damage. 
(My bold)

I distinctly remember my Cytech theory course mentioning spoke protectors as a legal requirement, but I may be mistaken and my Cytech login's expired so I can't check.


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## ianrauk (20 Apr 2017)

Hi-Viz


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## Heltor Chasca (20 Apr 2017)

Dirtyhanz said:


> boneshaker
> Only magazine I would buy



+1 Volume 19 landed on the mat yesterday. Yehuda Moon, not quite a magazine, but way up there.


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## gaijintendo (20 Apr 2017)

I am considering buying this to brighten up my commute:

BUBBLE EXHAUST

Anyone near Glasgow want to buy in for the 2 for £15 deal?


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## Ming the Merciless (20 Apr 2017)

Reflectors on spokes are not a legal requirement and are somewhat pointless.


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## Slick (20 Apr 2017)

gaijintendo said:


> I am considering buying this to brighten up my commute:
> 
> BUBBLE EXHAUST
> 
> Anyone near Glasgow want to buy in for the 2 for £15 deal?


Yeah, I'll cycle to hampden on Sunday with that on, what could possibly go wrong?


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## Roadhump (20 Apr 2017)

Those plastic chain cleaning machines are pretty naff, no better than an old toothbrush or old dishcloth and much more clumsy.


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## Alan O (20 Apr 2017)

YukonBoy said:


> Reflectors on spokes are not a legal requirement and are somewhat pointless.


I believe the law requires them to be fitted at the point of sale for new bikes, but they are not required to be used.


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## gaijintendo (20 Apr 2017)

[QUOTE 4769977, member: 259"]What HiFi.[/QUOTE]
Speaking of which, if you think a Bluetooth bicycle speaker might be useful, you are not working hard enough.


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## Ming the Merciless (20 Apr 2017)

Alan O said:


> I believe the law requires them to be fitted at the point of sale for new bikes, but they are not required to be used.



Nope, not at all a requirement at POS either


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## jefmcg (20 Apr 2017)

YukonBoy said:


> Nope, not at all a requirement at POS either


Cycling UK disagrees with you

And indeed the legislation


> 4.—(1) Subject to paragraph (2), a person must not supply a bicycle unless the requirements of paragraphs (3) to (12) of this regulation are satisfied.
> [..]
> (5) Retro reflective material or a retro reflector (or a combination) must be attached to, or incorporated in, the front wheel or tyre so that light is capable of being reflected to both sides of the bicycle.
> 
> (6) Subject to paragraph (7), retro reflective material or a retro reflector (or a combination) must be attached to, or incorporated in, the rear wheel or tyre so that light is capable of being reflected to both sides of the bicycle.


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## jefmcg (20 Apr 2017)

gaijintendo said:


> Speaking of which, if you think a Bluetooth bicycle speaker might be useful, you are not working hard enough.


Hard enough for what?


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## winjim (20 Apr 2017)

jefmcg said:


> Cycling UK disagrees with you
> 
> And indeed the legislation


So not spoke reflectors strictly speaking. A reflective strip on the tyre would do.


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## Shut Up Legs (20 Apr 2017)

There should be a "Cycling Snobs" sub-forum just for threads like these.


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## Cp40Carl (20 Apr 2017)

Helmet.


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## gaijintendo (20 Apr 2017)

jefmcg said:


> Hard enough for what?


Hard enough to not hear it... I am not sure now. Made sense to me a couple of glasses ago.


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## confusedcyclist (20 Apr 2017)

Airzound, used twice, now it's in the garage. What was I thinking.


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## confusedcyclist (20 Apr 2017)

confusedcyclist said:


> Airzound, used twice, now it's in the garage. What was I thinking.


Although I have used it to prank my DW a few times. She wasn't happy.


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## Cp40Carl (20 Apr 2017)

Flux capacitor.


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## ayceejay (20 Apr 2017)

Listen, you may well complain about useless accessories but if you are searching for one that fashion or velominati has bypassed leaving you hunting you may want to empathise with the lengths I went to to get these tassels affixed to my handlebars


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## Sharky (20 Apr 2017)

A carbon tri-spoke wheel all the way from China .......

....... only to find out last week that my fall on black ice back in January had resulted in a fractured pelvis!
....... maybe next year?


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## snorri (21 Apr 2017)

stalagmike said:


> So do I need to take the spoke reflectors off my wheels so as not to appear a dork?


No, the dorks are the fashionistas who have taken them off.


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## ufkacbln (21 Apr 2017)

tommaguzzi said:


> Here is my starter for 10, i have just seen this on eBay.
> 
> http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wrist-Band-...0-800-810-1000-OS486-/302178064147?nav=SEARCH
> 
> ...



Actually - can I thank you for this.....

Works brilliantly on a recumbent with a boom, and is far mores secure and adaptable than some of the other adaptations


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## GlenBen (21 Apr 2017)

Heltor Chasca said:


> I had a bar mounted water cannon when I was a kid until it broke. The crashes oh man the crashes.
> 
> I want one now though.


If you find one let me know where.


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## huggy (21 Apr 2017)

A £400 track pump, they only have 4 in stock so be quick.

http://www.wiggle.co.uk/silca-super-pista-ultimate-floor-pump/


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## RoubaixCube (21 Apr 2017)

Rucksacks with indicatoes


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## jefmcg (21 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Love the "cleat optimised base"


Otherwise the only choice would be to pump up your tyres *then* put on your shoes.


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## ianrauk (21 Apr 2017)

_The beauty of the base is continued through its optimised design specifically for cycling cleats. Being inspired by a friend's misfortune as he slipped off his floor pump and gouged the sole of his 2 days old shoes the Super Pista Ultimate has the thinnest base ever and raises the question, why didn't anyone think of it before?_


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## jefmcg (21 Apr 2017)

ianrauk said:


> _The beauty of the base is continued through its optimised design specifically for cycling cleats. Being inspired by a friend's misfortune as he slipped off his floor pump and gouged the sole of his 2 days old shoes the Super Pista Ultimate has the thinnest base ever and raises the question, why didn't anyone think of it before?_


My friends ridiculous shoes slipped and got damaged! Solution? Change all the surfaces he walks on, at £200/square inch.

Or change his shoes.


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## ColinJ (21 Apr 2017)

arch684 said:


> Anybody seen the things call cats ears that attach to a helmet and hang down just infront of you ears to cut wind noise.The silliest thing i'v ever seen


They do look silly and they cost a very silly amount of money, but if you ride somewhere hilly and windy like round here then you would soon experience the problem that they aim to solve!

I was getting very painful ears from the buffeting that they got on our windy 10 minute descents. In fact, I have developed a distorted buzzing sound in my left ear which may be related.

I reduced the severity of the wind noise by putting a couple of twists in each helmet strap, which stops them flapping about so much. The real solution would probably be to stop wearing a helmet and replace it with a hat which could be pulled down over my ears for descents ...


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## jefmcg (21 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Take your hands off the brakes


...and put them over your ears!


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## ColinJ (21 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Take your hands off the brakes and cut them down to 5 minutes.


Ha ha - the Keighley Road from Cock Hill down to Hebden Bridge is about 4.5 miles. I would have to average nearly 55 mph!


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## Rooster1 (21 Apr 2017)

Afnug said:


> Gear Indicators


So true. When I got my Giant Defy the Tiagra shifters came with indicators. As a noob I though, yes, that will really help me. Truth is, your body tells you what gear you need and not a stupid indicator.


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## ColinJ (21 Apr 2017)

jefmcg said:


> ...and put them over your ears!


I did resort to doing the descents one-handed and covering the opposite ear! Swap hands and ears a couple of times a minute. It is a bit scary doing 30+ mph downhill like that with gusting crosswinds though!


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## SteveF (21 Apr 2017)

ColinJ said:


> I did resort to doing the descents one-handed and covering the opposite ear! Swap hands and ears a couple of times a minute. It is a bit scary doing 30+ mph downhill like that with gusting crosswinds though!



Ear plugs? Semi-serious suggestion as they were a must for me on the motorbike due to the wind noise, modern ones cut the buzz but still allow you to hear


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## Archeress (21 Apr 2017)

GlenBen said:


> If you find one let me know where.


https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fuze-FUZ-CYC-Cyclone-Water-Blaster/dp/B00K6D4UUM

Hugs
Archeress x


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## arch684 (21 Apr 2017)

ColinJ said:


> They do look silly and they cost a very silly amount of money, but if you ride somewhere hilly and windy like round here then you would soon experience the problem that they aim to solve!
> 
> I was getting very painful ears from the buffeting that they got on our windy 10 minute descents. In fact, I have developed a distorted buzzing sound in my left ear which may be related.
> 
> I reduced the severity of the wind noise by putting a couple of twists in each helmet strap, which stops them flapping about so much. The real solution would probably be to stop wearing a helmet and replace it with a hat which could be pulled down over my ears for descents ...


I do live somewhere hilly and windy,I'm in Scotland and i just use ear plugs.


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## rugby bloke (21 Apr 2017)

Rooster1 said:


> So true. When I got my Giant Defy the Tiagra shifters came with indicators. As a noob I though, yes, that will really help me. Truth is, your body tells you what gear you need and not a stupid indicator.


Until that time when you are on a steep climb and your body convinces you that there is one more gear to down to ... except there isn't !


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## Markymark (21 Apr 2017)

Clipless pedals.


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## Tim Hall (21 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Indicators. Gloves with indicators.





winjim said:


> Helmets with indicators. Brake lights. Helmets with brake lights. Laser projection lights. Basically any bike light that's not just a bike light.



Suddenly I've got a picture of Uncle Jimmy from Reggie Perrin in my head.


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## Slick (21 Apr 2017)

ColinJ said:


> They do look silly and they cost a very silly amount of money, but if you ride somewhere hilly and windy like round here then you would soon experience the problem that they aim to solve!
> 
> I was getting very painful ears from the buffeting that they got on our windy 10 minute descents. In fact, I have developed a distorted buzzing sound in my left ear which may be related.
> 
> I reduced the severity of the wind noise by putting a couple of twists in each helmet strap, which stops them flapping about so much. The real solution would probably be to stop wearing a helmet and replace it with a hat which could be pulled down over my ears for descents ...


Could you not just use a buff for under your helmet? That could cover your ears.


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## Gasman (21 Apr 2017)

gaijintendo said:


> Tape a playing card to your fork then!



Pah! Amateur!


Then again, if you're going to make noise, it might as well be functional.



And if that looks a bit too professional...


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## Lozz360 (21 Apr 2017)

I'm surprised no-one has mentioned a bell.


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## glasgowcyclist (21 Apr 2017)

This: the umpteenth reincarnation of indicators for bicycles. 

At any price they'd be a farking joke but this guy wants to retail these at £200!












Thankfully he failed to reach even half of his crowdfunding target so there's every chance it'll die a horrible death, hopefully costing him enough of his own money to put him off any similar stupid ideas.


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## jonny jeez (21 Apr 2017)

Drago said:


> Next time you're out see how many bikes still have them fitted. An item so unwanted is pretty pointless.


Well...

As a signed up member of the velominati, I have to confess that for purely sentimental reasons, my single speed still sports her reflectors.

She is in concourse condition, save for a scratch on the top of a single headset bolt. Spoiling that seems worse than the shame of being spotted riding with reflectors.

Plus safety and all that stuff.


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## Racing roadkill (21 Apr 2017)

Drago said:


> Spoke reflectors.


I like spoke reflectors, and spokey dokeys, and playing cards attached to the frame, that go through the spokes, and make your bike sound like a motorcycle.


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## gaijintendo (21 Apr 2017)

glasgowcyclist said:


> This: the umpteenth reincarnation of indicators for bicycles.
> 
> At any price they'd be a farking joke but this guy wants to retail these at £200!
> 
> ...



Any bike light with safe distance lasers just seems driver baiting...


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## Milkfloat (21 Apr 2017)

jonny jeez said:


> Well...
> 
> As a signed up member of the velominati, I have to confess that for purely sentimental reasons, my single speed still sports her reflectors.
> 
> ...



You scratched my (@CarlP 's) bike?


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## jonny jeez (21 Apr 2017)

Milkfloat said:


> You scratched my (@CarlP 's) bike?


Honest, it was like it when I got it guv.


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## ColinJ (21 Apr 2017)

SteveF said:


> Ear plugs? Semi-serious suggestion as they were a must for me on the motorbike due to the wind noise, modern ones cut the buzz but still allow you to hear





arch684 said:


> I do live somewhere hilly and windy,I'm in Scotland and i just use ear plugs.


D'oh - I didn't think of that ... That should do the trick! 

I am a bit hard of hearing (not helped by repeated wind deafenings!) so I would have to see if I could still hear other cyclists talking to me and be able to hear vehicles coming up behind me.



Slick said:


> Could you not just use a buff for under your helmet? That could cover your ears.


I often DO wear a buff under the helmet in cool conditions and I didn't think of THAT either!  I'm not sure if that would cut the wind noise enough, but it would be easy to give it a go. Not so good in warm weather though since I won't wear a buff then.


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## Welsh wheels (21 Apr 2017)

Bells - if you're only riding on roads. Slightly ridiculous to ride an expensive carbon bike and be dinging a little bell at everyone. IMO anyway, please don't kill me! 
LED ankle bands which they sold in Aldi a few years ago
I like most Hi-viz, but those shoulder strips that they sell are a bit pointless.


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## Will Spin (21 Apr 2017)

Those stupid mini pumps they try to flog you in the LBS, 5 mins to change the inner tube 20 mins pumping away to get half the pressure you actually want in the tyre - it's enough to make you think about giving up cycling.


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## snorri (21 Apr 2017)

Will Spin said:


> Those stupid mini pumps they try to flog you in the LBS, 5 mins to change the inner tube 20 mins pumping away to get half the pressure you actually want in the tyre - it's enough to make you think about giving up cycling.


Good ranty tone in that post, keep it up!


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## Heltor Chasca (22 Apr 2017)

I bought a Topeak Race Rocket ages ago which I've never used because I can't. My gardener's arms are buff, so it's not frailty. Am I missing something? I really want to lighten the load.


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## Shut Up Legs (22 Apr 2017)

huggy said:


> A £400 track pump, they only have 4 in stock so be quick.
> 
> http://www.wiggle.co.uk/silca-super-pista-ultimate-floor-pump/


They're taking the pista.


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## MontyVeda (22 Apr 2017)

for me its...

The polystyrene hat full of holes that some folk think is a helmet.
The unnecessary toe clips / clipless pedals that folk think generates more power... starting and stopping is easier without. They offer virtually no benefit.
The stupid little computer that got me trying to up my average and increase my max... got rid and now i don't give a sh!t.
Lycra... its not big, it's not clever... just don't go there.


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## cosmicbike (22 Apr 2017)

Heltor Chasca said:


> I bought a Topeak Race Rocket ages ago which I've never used because I can't. My gardener's arms are buff, so it's not frailty. Am I missing something? I really want to lighten the load.


 You need a Road Morph. Think track pump that's been hit by Gru's shrink ray...


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## Cycleops (22 Apr 2017)

Will Spin said:


> Those stupid mini pumps they try to flog you in the LBS, 5 mins to change the inner tube 20 mins pumping away to get half the pressure you actually want in the tyre - it's enough to make you think about giving up cycling.


Perhaps they're assuming you're used to stoking a small member rather quickly and would rather enjoy it.


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## Slick (22 Apr 2017)

User said:


> I find that riding on flat pedals makes my shins ache.


I found my foot would slip off them especially in the wet.


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## Slick (22 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Nominative determinism in action there.


I don't think so.


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## Alan O (22 Apr 2017)

I note a few comments on pedals (and the usefulness/uselessness thereof), and I hope this isn't too far off topic.

I still ride with clips and straps, with old-style smooth-soled touring shoes and no cleats - I've worn them all my cycling life. I have them not too tight, but just enough to keep my feet from moving around on the pedals, and my feet slide out of them backwards just as quickly (ish) as lifting off flat pedals -- it's at instinctive speed without conscious thought, it just happens.

When I was first cycling I accepted the old idea that clips and straps improved your efficiency by allowing you to pull up as well as push down, and I also accepted the idea that ankling was the way to pedal. I never could do the ankling thing, quickly realized I could ride long distances just fine without doing it, and so I gave up - and now that I have the hindsight of modern understanding, I feel smug in my original conclusion that it was nonsense 

Anyway, cue forwards to the MTB I got last year. It has flat pedals, and I assumed I'd need to swap them out for ones that took half-clips, but I tried them a few times first. They're DMR pedals with those little grippy pins, and they're great! My feet never lift from them, suggesting that, no, I'd never been pulling up when pedaling at all.

I do still find it hard to ride a bike with non-grippy flat pedals (I have one I'm fixing up), but I've come to the conclusion that what the clips and straps (and the DMR pins) do, for me, is just stop my feet sliding around - and that's all.

It was quite a revelation to find, after all these years, that I'm just as happy on grippy flat pedals as I am on my old favourite quill pedals with clips and straps (and, presumably, I'd also be fine with smooth flat pedals with grippy shoes).


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## jefmcg (22 Apr 2017)

Slick said:


> I don't think so.


I suspect you misunderstood @User's droll joke.


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## Slick (22 Apr 2017)

jefmcg said:


> I suspect you misunderstood @User's droll joke.


I got it, but it's "Slick" not slip.


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## MontyVeda (22 Apr 2017)

Alan O said:


> I note a few comments on pedals (and the usefulness/uselessness thereof), and I hope this isn't too far off topic.
> 
> I still ride with clips and straps, with old-style smooth-soled touring shoes and no cleats - I've worn them all my cycling life. I have them not too tight, but just enough to keep my feet from moving around on the pedals, and my feet slide out of them backwards just as quickly (ish) as lifting off flat pedals -- it's at instinctive speed without conscious thought, it just happens.
> 
> ...


Same here... spent a couple of decades thinking some sort of foot retention was essential. Then I bought some Welgo flats because i liked the colour and figured i'd need to fettle the toe straps onto them... but quickly realised that my feet don't slip off them. Toe clips and the computer are the best two things I've removed... there's no going back.


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## Markymark (22 Apr 2017)

Flats to clipless to flats on my road bike over 5 years. Made buggerall difference to my average speed.


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## Blue Hills (22 Apr 2017)

For general purpose cycling/touring, must admit to being a recent convert back to flats.

No more clacking round london galleries for me.

Pretty much only use the spds around town/london these days if it's point to point. Any wandering around town in between i use the flat side of my pedals and suitable shoes.


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## tommaguzzi (22 Apr 2017)

Just use flats and normal shoes. Clippies are for racers and track riders.


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## EatSleepRideRepeat (25 Apr 2017)

Cheap plastic tyre levers that give you the illusion that when you want to remove a tyre, they will help. Bicycle spanners, the pressed steel ones, made from cheese I think, and those terrible dumbell spanner wrench things that have all the nut sizes, but are impossible to use in any situation..............breathes deeply.


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## Tom B (25 Apr 2017)

Roadhump said:


> Those plastic chain cleaning machines are pretty naff, no better than an old toothbrush or old dishcloth and much more clumsy.



My LBS basically refuesed to sell me one of those.



Welsh wheels said:


> Bells - if you're only riding on roads. Slightly ridiculous to ride an expensive carbon bike and be dinging a little bell at everyone. IMO anyway, please don't kill me!



Bells, or audiable warning devices are for me something that could be improved. I ride on a lot of tracks and canal paths that are shared use. The usual Ping bell isnt loud enough and only last a few weeks. The old fashioned ring ring bell is better but large and many jingle annoyingly to themselves. The current electric sirens or horns are either too big, too loud or like the hornit too loud, too aggressive and have suffered mission creep. 

I would love a self contained unit perhaps the size of a £2 coin or thes size of a ping bell, powered by a CR2032 with happy, but loud ding-ding "wake up burt/ada/rover" sound that would be recognisably bicycle coming please give way, rather than car alarm - panic - starburst sound of the Hornit.


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## MontyVeda (25 Apr 2017)

I've no idea what they're called... micro-donuts maybe. They're fitted to my break and gear cables where they run along the top tube, presumably to stop the exposed cable rattling against the frame and chipping the paint. They always work their way along the cable and render themselves ineffective. And my frame has no paint to chip.


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## Racing roadkill (25 Apr 2017)

Alan O said:


> I note a few comments on pedals (and the usefulness/uselessness thereof), and I hope this isn't too far off topic.
> 
> I still ride with clips and straps, with old-style smooth-soled touring shoes and no cleats - I've worn them all my cycling life. I have them not too tight, but just enough to keep my feet from moving around on the pedals, and my feet slide out of them backwards just as quickly (ish) as lifting off flat pedals -- it's at instinctive speed without conscious thought, it just happens.
> 
> ...


Yes you're absolutely right. Have you heard that all the pro teams are getting rid of their clipless systems this year, because clipless stuff is all "nonsense"? No, nor have I, because they aren't, and it isn't.


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## riceylad (25 Apr 2017)




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## winjim (25 Apr 2017)

Racing roadkill said:


> Yes you're absolutely right. Have you heard that all the pro teams are getting rid of their clipless systems this year, because clipless stuff is all "nonsense"? No, nor have I, because they aren't, and it isn't.


Can we put _comparisons with professional racing teams_ in the pointless pile please?


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## winjim (25 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Pointless? Of limited point yes but not absolutely pointless.


Everything's on the spectrum somewhere I suppose.


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## Racing roadkill (26 Apr 2017)

winjim said:


> Everything's on the spectrum somewhere I suppose.


And everyone.


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## Venod (26 Apr 2017)

tommaguzzi said:


> Clippies are for racers and track riders.



Thanks for the information, I will get rid of all my "Clippies" immediately as I don't fit the requirements.


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## gaijintendo (26 Apr 2017)

This is just a personal #1 but my Turbo Trainer largely just blocks my booze cupboard.


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## youngoldbloke (26 Apr 2017)

winjim said:


> Can we put _comparisons with professional racing teams_ in the pointless pile please?


OK - but why do they use them then?


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## gaijintendo (26 Apr 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> OK - but why do they use them then?


Maybe it's so they land nearer their bikes in an accident.


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## jefmcg (26 Apr 2017)

Professionals do a lot of things we don't. I could use EPO without being caught*, but somehow I think using it would be pretty pointless.

* as I am never subjected to drug testing.


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## youngoldbloke (26 Apr 2017)

Cyclists have been trying to figure out a way of linking their feet to their pedals since 1895. http://www.speedplay.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.history 
Must be a lot of foolish, misguided people out there obviously! Can't we put this to bed? Use cleats or clips if you want, don't if you don't!


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## MontyVeda (26 Apr 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> Cyclists have been trying to figure out a way of linking their feet to their pedals since 1895. http://www.speedplay.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.history
> Must be a lot of foolish, misguided people out there obviously! Can't we put this to bed? Use cleats or clips if you want, don't if you don't!


I think you're taking this thread too seriously.

When pedals were crap and slipperery, the obvious solution was to somehow attach the feet, when all the average rider needed was a better pedal. Many cyclist think they're above average and set about proving this by having the same or similar kit to the professionals, from inconvenient footwear to an over priced hat and everything in between... which brings us to the pointless 'team' kit worn by people who aren't in the team.


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## youngoldbloke (26 Apr 2017)

Overpriced helmets and team kit worn by people not in the team* - I'm with you there 
* and world champions jerseys worn by those who aren't.


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## rugby bloke (26 Apr 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> Overpriced helmets and team kit worn by people not in the team* - I'm with you there
> * and world champions jerseys worn by those who aren't.


Almost as bad as skin tight replica rugby shirts worn by men who have mainly dined on beer and lard ... not a flattering look. That's why I stick the old style cotton vintage style.


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## winjim (26 Apr 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> OK - but why do they use them then?


To look pro.


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## tommaguzzi (26 Apr 2017)

oh i just love the way this thread turned out!


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## Shut Up Legs (26 Apr 2017)

tommaguzzi said:


> Just use flats and normal shoes. Clippies are for racers and track riders.


A pity there's no Dislike button for prejudiced rubbish like that.


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## tommaguzzi (27 Apr 2017)

I must be a clippieist then.

Seriously though i see people commuting through busy traffic everyday clipping in and out at every stop or trying to perform track stands. Click clacking around on cleats in shops and café s. When just using flats should be so much safer.
What possible benefit do commuters and non racers gain by attaching their feet to the pedals which outweighs the inconvenience and possible danger from using them.


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## Profpointy (27 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Quite. For the same reasons as:
> Riding a bike with a stretched position, when something a bit more relaxed would be more comfortable
> Riding a bike with clearance for 23mm tyres when clearance for 28mm and mudguards would be more practical
> Wearing team kit
> Wearing a helmet because pros wear them.



Mmm, a sit up position: far better not to be able to duck down if there's a headwind, and work harder to go slower. And having a choice of hand positions is such a nuisance. Next revalation is that heavy bikes with rusted unoiled chains with the brakes rubbing are even better


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## Shut Up Legs (27 Apr 2017)

tommaguzzi said:


> I must be a clippieist then.
> 
> Seriously though i see people commuting through busy traffic everyday clipping in and out at every stop or trying to perform track stands. Click clacking around on cleats in shops and café s. When just using flats should be so much safer.
> What possible benefit do commuters and non racers gain by attaching their feet to the pedals which outweighs the inconvenience and possible danger from using them.


There are numerous threads on these and other cycling fora, debating the advantages and disadvantages of using cleats, so I suggest you search for them. I could repeat them here, but of course I'd just be regurgitating previous content. There are good reasons why some cyclists use cleats, just as there are good reasons to wear lycra (for example).


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## Markymark (27 Apr 2017)

Shut Up Legs said:


> There are numerous threads on these and other cycling fora, debating the advantages and disadvantages of using cleats, so I suggest you search for them. I could repeat them here, but of course I'd just be regurgitating previous content. There are good reasons why some cyclists use cleats, just as there are good reasons to wear lycra (for example).


Road bike: 1 year on flats. 1.5 years clipless. 1.5 year flats. No real difference to average speed across the years.


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## Mugshot (27 Apr 2017)

Markymark said:


> Road bike: 1 year on flats. 1.5 years clipless. 1.5 year flats. No real difference to average speed across the years.


It's heartbreaking when you find out that someone that you have respected for so long turns out to be a fraud


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## nickyboy (27 Apr 2017)

Markymark said:


> Road bike: 1 year on flats. 1.5 years clipless. 1.5 year flats. No real difference to average speed across the years.



I just find clipless comfortable in that I know my feet are in the best possible position on the pedals. Having said that, I can imagine in an urban environment they are a nightmare and I would definitely use flats. As it is I might do 20 miles without having to unclip around here so it's fine


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## ianrauk (27 Apr 2017)

nickyboy said:


> I just find clipless comfortable in that I know my feet are in the best possible position on the pedals. Having said that, I can imagine in an urban environment they are a nightmare and I would definitely use flats. As it is I might do 20 miles without having to unclip around here so it's fine



You're first point is spot on, your second, not so. 
It's a case of you just get used to it and clip/unclip without even thinking about it, whatever the traffic. Far from a nightmare. But then again, everyone is different.


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## Profpointy (27 Apr 2017)

User said:


> I didn't say sit up position, or suggest flat bars.



fair point.- I'd slighly conflated your post with the anti clipin pedals folks.

You're dead right on mudguards though. I've never understood why it's better to have a wet arse


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## Old jon (27 Apr 2017)

Profpointy said:


> You're dead right on mudguards though. I've never understood why it's better to have a wet arse



Total agreement.


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## Dogtrousers (27 Apr 2017)

MontyVeda said:


> I've no idea what they're called... micro-donuts maybe. They're fitted to my break and gear cables where they run along the top tube, presumably to stop the exposed cable rattling against the frame and chipping the paint. They always work their way along the cable and render themselves ineffective. And my frame has no paint to chip.


Oddly enough I replaced my brake cables at the weekend. I transferred the micro-donuts over with a great deal of care. I think they are the best bit of my bike.


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## Smokin Joe (27 Apr 2017)

Dogtrousers said:


> Oddly enough I replaced my brake cables at the weekend. I transferred the micro-donuts over with a great deal of care. I think they are the best bit of my bike.


If you've ever been driven bonkers by a cable rattling against the top tube you'll see the point of them.


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## nickyboy (27 Apr 2017)

ianrauk said:


> You're first point is spot on, your second, not so.
> It's a case of you just get used to it and clip/unclip without even thinking about it, whatever the traffic. Far from a nightmare. But then again, everyone is different.



I'm just a bit rubbish at clipping back in and keep having to look down and faff about with the pedal. Maybe it's cos I don't do much of it...I should come for a ride in London with you guys


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## ianrauk (27 Apr 2017)

nickyboy said:


> I'm just a bit rubbish at clipping back in and keep having to look down and faff about with the pedal. Maybe it's cos I don't do much of it...I should come for a ride in London with you guys


You should.


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## smutchin (27 Apr 2017)

Tim Hall said:


> Suddenly I've got a picture of Uncle Jimmy from Reggie Perrin in my head.



Crypto-indicators?


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## Alan O (27 Apr 2017)

nickyboy said:


> I'm just a bit rubbish at clipping back in and keep having to look down and faff about with the pedal. Maybe it's cos I don't do much of it...I should come for a ride in London with you guys


I don't use "clipless" pedals, I still use clips and straps (with no cleats), but I think the most important skill to learn is to be able to fasten in without having to look down or faff. To me it's now instinctive, and I flick in and pull out without even thinking about it - and I presume the same is true of expert clipless users.


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## smutchin (27 Apr 2017)

arch684 said:


> Anybody seen the things call cats ears that attach to a helmet and hang down just infront of you ears to cut wind noise.The silliest thing i'v ever seen





ColinJ said:


> They do look silly and they cost a very silly amount of money, but if you ride somewhere hilly and windy like round here then you would soon experience the problem that they aim to solve!



I keep seeing those Cat Ear things promoted on Facebook and have often wondered if they're any good. The idea behind them is sound and I'd love to try them to see if they actually work. 



Slick said:


> Could you not just use a buff for under your helmet? That could cover your ears.



Not ideal on a warm day. 



gaijintendo said:


> Any bike light with safe distance lasers just seems driver baiting...



If the drivers can even see them! I tried out a light with laser line markings and they just get lost in a car's headlights. Totally pointless.


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## winjim (27 Apr 2017)

User said:


> Quite. For the same reasons as:
> Riding a bike with a stretched position, when something a bit more relaxed would be more comfortable
> Riding a bike with clearance for 23mm tyres when clearance for 28mm and mudguards would be more practical
> Wearing team kit
> Wearing a helmet because pros wear them.


I think you may have missed the rapier-like subtlety of my post.


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## winjim (27 Apr 2017)

User said:


> No, I was with you.


That's alright then.


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## Heltor Chasca (11 May 2017)

Heltor Chasca said:


> I bought a Topeak Race Rocket ages ago which I've never used because I can't. My gardener's arms are buff, so it's not frailty. Am I missing something? I really want to lighten the load.



Always an advocate of posting good news instead of just whinging when things go wrong, here's a good story:

I bought this pump back in 2014 from a shop I can't even remember. As above, I've never used it because 1/ I couldn't 2/ I suspected it wasn't working, but wanted to make sure I wasn't using it wrong or maybe I could fix it. Anyway it got left in my workshop to be forgotten about until a couple of weeks ago.

I emailed Topeak for advice and explained truthfully my issue. They asked I post it to them and they would have a look. At best I thought they may find a faulty valve or seal and at worst I expected it to get lost in the system.

I got back from work today and there, waiting for me was a brand new replacement pump! Happy days. Customer service in the U.K. is coming into the first world. Hooray for Topeak!


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## Blue Hills (13 May 2017)

For the cyclist rather than cycle, something I never knew I needed.

https://www.btbgrooming.co.uk/

Personally I no more expect my balls to stay dry than any other bit of me if I'm cycling hard.

Normal service will soon be resumed.

Spotted on a quick trawl through the Spin Cycle Show's exhibitor list - I'm going tomorrow, probably by bike, will shower first.


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## Slick (13 May 2017)

Blue Hills said:


> For the cyclist rather than cycle, something I never knew I needed.
> 
> https://www.btbgrooming.co.uk/
> 
> ...


Ffs.


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## Vantage (14 May 2017)

Blue Hills said:


> For the cyclist rather than cycle, something I never knew I needed.
> 
> https://www.btbgrooming.co.uk/
> 
> ...


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## Blue Hills (14 May 2017)

Went to spin, saw the stand.

Despite an overwhelming urge to wander on and ask/cry "why o why o why" didn't have the nerve.

First pass no interest at all, second time i wandered past a couple seemed to be showing an interest in something on the stand. Hope they have fun tonight.

Spin as before, saw it all in 45 mins, even with a double/treble tour.


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## winjim (14 May 2017)

Blue Hills said:


> Despite an overwhelming urge to wander on and ask/cry "why o why o why" didn't have the nerve balls.


FTFY


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## gaijintendo (1 Dec 2017)

https://www.merlincycles.com/handlebar-heroes-kids-bike-accessory-93111.html






(want)


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## jefmcg (1 Dec 2017)

gaijintendo said:


> https://www.merlincycles.com/handlebar-heroes-kids-bike-accessory-93111.html
> 
> View attachment 385580
> 
> (want)


Welcome return of old thread for a truly worthy addition!


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## simongt (10 Dec 2017)

As advertised in the latest issue of 'Cycle'; 'Rehook. Get your chain back on your bike without the mess - !' A snip @ £22.99 - ! 
For a piece of moulded plastic with a piece of fancy metal on the end; and what is wrong with a short length of suitably fashioned mudguard stay from one's spares box that costs nowt - ?
Yer 'avin' a larf pal - !


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## simongt (10 Dec 2017)

Oddly, in the last four years, I've used my bent wire hook to help three folk out, but yet to need it myself.


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## Blue Hills (10 Dec 2017)

simongt said:


> As advertised in the latest issue of 'Cycle'; 'Rehook. Get your chain back on your bike without the mess - !' A snip @ £22.99 - !
> For a piece of moulded plastic with a piece of fancy metal on the end; and what is wrong with a short length of suitably fashioned mudguard stay from one's spares box that costs nowt - ?
> Yer 'avin' a larf pal - !


ah this:

https://www.rehook.bike/

though I think the price you quoted is for two.

but, hey, it's got a silicone strap.

And it is super lightweight.

As a kid I would just look for a discarded plastic bag to put my hand in - there were always lots around.

These days a handy twig or just get the, hey, silicone gloves out of the seatpack.

That thing you highlighted is surely going to be remaindered soon, or re-imagined/marketed as a sex aid or something. For of course if your chain comes off a lot something needs seeing to. And you can always fit a chain catcher/fang. And to hell with any extra grams.


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## Ming the Merciless (10 Dec 2017)

Maybe I can patent my twig method, start selling, and prove that money grows on trees.


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## si_c (11 Dec 2017)

Blue Hills said:


> ah this:
> 
> https://www.rehook.bike/
> 
> ...


 what's wrong with down shifting then upshifting? Or the other way round if it drops inside?

Works 100% of the time 90% of the time.

Seriously though, it doesn't take much longer than 3 seconds presuming the chains not wrapped around the crankarm. Lots of people seem to drop their chain, makes you wonder.


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## youngoldbloke (11 Dec 2017)

Use a dock leaf.


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## youngoldbloke (11 Dec 2017)

- and use a dog fang or chain catcher, especially if you've got a carbon frame.


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## Blue Hills (11 Dec 2017)

youngoldbloke said:


> Use a dock leaf.


ah yes, tbink I've done that as well.


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## simongt (14 Dec 2017)

Blue Hills said:


> though I think the price you quoted is for two.


I stand corrected, but £13 for one - ? ! Now, where's that old mudguard stay - ?


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## Tail End Charlie (17 Dec 2017)

gaijintendo said:


> https://www.merlincycles.com/handlebar-heroes-kids-bike-accessory-93111.html
> 
> View attachment 385580
> 
> (want)


My version, especially for Halloween.


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## jefmcg (17 Dec 2017)

Tail End Charlie said:


> My version, especially for Halloween.
> View attachment 387541


That is most assuredly a pointed bicycle accessory.


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## simongt (20 Dec 2017)

jefmcg said:


> That is most assuredly a pointed bicycle accessory.


That just gets my goat - !  Or am I being sheepish - ?


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## winjim (20 Dec 2017)

Dogtrousers said:


> Adjust your gears correctly. Don't change on the front while cross-chaining (or don't cross-chain in the first place). Then you won't need anything at all because your chain will not come off.
> 
> In the very unlikely event that you do drop your chain, use your front mech to put it back on. No need to stop, no dirty fingers.


And should you really need to, just pick it up with your fingers and then wipe them on your shorts ffs.


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## Ming the Merciless (20 Dec 2017)

A Christmas tree, but such a nice edition this time of year.


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## Andy in Germany (23 Dec 2017)

I once built a large basket for my mountain bike to carry my bag for college. It wasn't pointless in the strict sense, but I discovered when testing it that beech wood was probably not the best material if I wanted to be able to use my wrists all day...


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