# wife is struggling, how to breech the ability gab?



## chrismisterx (18 Nov 2018)

So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.

I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.

We had our first longish ride together ( 16 miles ) which we took nice and slow, but she felt she was holding me back, as I never really noticed how much I had improved since I started to ride, the hills that had beaten me hands down I could just about manage to get up now and she really struggled.

They was lots of "sorry can I stop a min" and she was feeling really bad, i explained it was fine and she would improve like I am, but I think its put her off quite a bit. She feels without the time to invest she will never improve enough.

So whats the options here?

I was thinking maybe some form of indoor training, would a spinning bike for home help or even a Tandem?

We were hoping one day to travel from North shields to Moray in North Scotland to visit her parents and that was a goal for this summer, but now she is doubtful she will ever get that conditioned.

I know very little about bikes atm anyway but know nothing at all about tandems and any advice about setting up something at home for training on would be great, we want to tour the UK, so wouldn't be "racing". would a excise bike be worth the investment or should we look at a tandem?

Help me help her get her mo-jo back, would hate for her to give up at the first hurdle, took an age to try and get her to take the plunge to start with.


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## Heltor Chasca (18 Nov 2018)

Let her think about ridng with a social group. Possibly a ladies group. You will also need to take your foot off the gas. She should dictate the pace and rest stops.


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## alicat (18 Nov 2018)

A tandem is great for mixed ability couples.

It sounds like you have more free time than she does. Could you do a bigger share of the jobs around the house so she has more time to go out for rides if she wants to?


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## Pumpkin the robot (18 Nov 2018)

E bike?


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## Sharky (18 Nov 2018)

What bikes do you both have? My OH is a very occasional rider and has a heavy "shopper" bike, whereas I would normally ride a lightweight road bike. However, when we have gone out together, I use an old heavy mountain bike and this helps to close the gap a little.

A tandem is also worth considering. I have a tandem trike that I used when going out with my eldest (autistic) daughter and we managed rides up to 35 miles and she never got dropped.


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## chrismisterx (18 Nov 2018)

alicat said:


> A tandem is great for mixed ability couples.
> 
> It sounds like you have more free time than she does. Could you do a bigger share of the jobs around the house so she has more time to go out for rides if she wants to?



Already do that, when we had kids she didn't want to give up work so I became a stay at home dad. So i learnt to do all the cooking and cleaning and that pretty much stuck, I really enjoy the cooking to be honest, she works shifts which I think is making things more difficult for her.



Heltor Chasca said:


> Let her think about ridng with a social group. Possibly a ladies group. You will also need to take your foot off the gas. She should dictate the pace and rest stops.



Indeed, i had her dictating the pace, she just seemed to feel bad as she felt it was going slow, I just hope she isn't having second thoughts about the whole things as i think the health benefits are too good to miss out on.


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## chrismisterx (18 Nov 2018)

Pumpkin the robot said:


> E bike



Electric bike? Never thought about that, would an Electric bike be good for touring?


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## FishFright (18 Nov 2018)

You could slow down and make sure she enjoys the rides and go faster when you're on your own. 

It's always simpler for the faster rider to slow down.


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## MikeG (18 Nov 2018)

When is this planned tour of yours?

If it's next summer, then she's plenty of time. I reckon you could probably get ready for touring with a decent couple of months of regular riding beforehand, so anything you do during the winter is a bonus, and then start training in earnest next spring. Maybe getting her a better bike might be an incentive. How about letting her ride alone for a while, so that she isn't so conscious of the current performance gap? Or, as someone else said, get her involved with a small group ride which doesn't involve you. 

Starting up is the hardest part (little and often is the key). You've got over that hurdle, and she hasn't quite yet. Maybe leave it until she is comfortable riding 30 miles at her own pace, without you, before you ride together again.


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## Racing roadkill (18 Nov 2018)

Get her to join a Breeze group ride or 2.

https://www.letsride.co.uk/breeze

She’ll soon get her mojo back. As soon as she’s as good as you, she won’t be holding you back anymore, and you can go on 3 hr rides together and enjoy it.


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## winjim (18 Nov 2018)

Switch your mindset and change the focus to take away the pressure of performance. Don't go out 'for a ride'. Go out to the pub, to a cafe, to the countryside, to the local beauty spot. Just do it by bike.


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## Andy in Germany (18 Nov 2018)

I remember the day I changed from a 'normal' cheap MTB to a better quality bike with better bearings on the wheels and cranks, brakes that didn't rub the rims all the time: It was a revelation not to have to pedal going downhill. This repeated later when I changed from knubbly MTB tyres to nice smooth road tyres: I thought I was flying.

There's a lot of variables in there, even without personal fitness. Maybe try and find people local to you who know their stuff and/or swap bikes for a few hundred metres and see if the experience is different.


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## Vantage (18 Nov 2018)

My fiancée has the same mindset...she rides so slow that it must be boring for me. Pfft. 
I've told her the miles and how quickly they pass don't matter. It's the fact that we're both out enjoying ourselves that's important. 
She still hasn't touched her bike in months. 
Perhaps I'll just nag her till she gives in...


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## Skibird (18 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.
> 
> I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.
> 
> ...





chrismisterx said:


> So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.
> 
> I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.
> 
> ...



This used to be me (I'm faster/stronger now though lol) until I realised at the time that I would probably never be as strong etc as apart from him being a man, he's an ex motorbike racer so has naturally strong legs. Once you stop "trying to keep up" with someone stronger than you, this immediately takes some of the stress out of it. Now, when I go out with people who have much less experience than me, I enjoy it much more than being on my own and going faster etc, as I'm taking in more of the ride, enjoying the scenery etc, if this is you when out with your wife, make sure you tell her how much you enjoy riding at a more relaxed pace and hopefully she will believe you. If she sticks with it, she WILL get better, although more slowly and like others have said, make the ride more enjoyable, plan to stop at a cafe for tea/lunch etc and make a nice day of it, rather than just getting some bike training done.


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## Ming the Merciless (18 Nov 2018)

Have you got a rack on your bike? Load your bike up with about 20kg of luggage and even up the difficulty.


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## chrismisterx (18 Nov 2018)

Andy in Germany said:


> I remember the day I changed from a 'normal' cheap MTB to a better quality bike with better bearings on the wheels and cranks, brakes that didn't rub the rims all the time: It was a revelation not to have to pedal going downhill. This repeated later when I changed from knubbly MTB tyres to nice smooth road tyres: I thought I was flying.
> 
> There's a lot of variables in there, even without personal fitness. Maybe try and find people local to you who know their stuff and/or swap bikes for a few hundred metres and see if the experience is different.



She did have a little go on my bike and hated it, said she doesn't know how I can ride it at all 



MikeG said:


> When is this planned tour of yours?
> 
> If it's next summer, then she's plenty of time. I reckon you could probably get ready for touring with a decent couple of months of regular riding beforehand, so anything you do during the winter is a bonus, and then start training in earnest next spring. Maybe getting her a better bike might be an incentive. How about letting her ride alone for a while, so that she isn't so conscious of the current performance gap? Or, as someone else said, get her involved with a small group ride which doesn't involve you.
> 
> Starting up is the hardest part (little and often is the key). You've got over that hurdle, and she hasn't quite yet. Maybe leave it until she is comfortable riding 30 miles at her own pace, without you, before you ride together again.



Yes next summer, was the main reason to get a bike in the first place, sort of our end goal. Once we manage that trip I feel we could manage anything!


FishFright said:


> You could slow down and make sure she enjoys the rides and go faster when you're on your own.
> 
> It's always simpler for the faster rider to slow down.



I agree 100% and dont mind the slower pace, to be fair I am a complete novice anyway and not exactly fast, my speed is only between 8-10 mph on avg. 

She wont go out on her own and is using the doesn't want to slow me down when I ask her to join me, she wants to be better before going out but wont get better if not going out, chicken and egg problem.

Reason I asked for other options, like indoor training or a tandem? Maybe an e-bike is the answer? Only thing i know is will be really gutted if she decides its not for her as was really looking forward to it being something we can do together.


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## Skibird (18 Nov 2018)

I know it's a long shot, but do you have any couple friends who might be interested in going out with you both on bikes so you can ride with the husband ahead and she can ride/chat etc with the wife?


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## chrismisterx (18 Nov 2018)

Skibird said:


> I know it's a long shot, but do you have any couple friends who might be interested in going out with you both on bikes so you can ride with the husband ahead and she can ride/chat etc with the wife?



Not at all, most of our friends moved away over the years ( we moved to scotland and back and lost touch with a lot of friends then ) nowadays its a few people from work and its the odd pub trip, no one else we know is keen on cycling.

Like ii said above I am concerned it might become a reason to give up altogether. which would be a real shame, its a ton more fun out with her than out on my own!


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## Andy in Germany (18 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> Only thing i know is will be really gutted if she decides its not for her as was really looking forward to it being something we can do together.



Seems the right attitude to take, just make sure it's clear: that the important thing is that you do something together, and as long as you aren't going so slowly you'll fall off, you con't care how fast it is...


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## Heltor Chasca (18 Nov 2018)

Be warned: You need to be broad shouldered or happy enough to empower women with an honest acceptance that being male you might not always be fastest or strongest out of the two of you. She may steal your thunder one day.

I ride with LOTS of women who are MUCH better than I’ll ever be. It’s hilarious and sad when they pass a bloke who immediately puffs his chest up and overtakes her shortly afterwards just because she is a woman. Then he blows up and she has to pass him again because he is too slow. A tedious game of leapfrog ensues until she tells him to Foxtrot Oscar and he fakes a mechanical and pulls over to hide his embarrassment.


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## Skibird (18 Nov 2018)

You mentioned she won't go out on her own, is there a reason for this (confidence etc)?


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## tom73 (18 Nov 2018)

Finding a a social group to ride with will help have a look at Breeze group in your area. Like has been said just go out for a quick spin to the pub or shop, round the block. Build up slow and spend what time she has just getting out. You have plenty of time to work up to a goal. How long it takes don't really matter. 

I'm much fitter then Mrs 73 and have had the same issues when you go off walking and can fully understand what you both are feeling.
Off out on the bikes together I'm often out in front and hold back at times so we can ride together as much as we can. Fitness will come and she will be soon away. Any thing off the bike will help even if it's just a nice walk a few days a week. 

Have a look round your area for a nice steady route that's not too bad like short route along cycle path. See what's around near by have a day out maybe off on the train and a bit of a nice steady ride with stop's along the way then train back home. That's what we have done and mrs 73 don't left out. Plus if it's a new place you will want to stop and look about anyway.


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## chrismisterx (18 Nov 2018)

Skibird said:


> You mentioned she won't go out on her own, is there a reason for this (confidence etc)?



Not 100% sure to be honest, I never learnt to drive where she had lessons and such, so on the road she has 100x the confidence and skill than me, i much prefer cycle paths and quiet roads.

I think she feels being out on her own would be boring, she uses her bike to go to work, its a quick 10 min ride from home, but apart from that the only time she will use her bike is with me.


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## tom73 (18 Nov 2018)

Sounds like a group ride be just the thing. If she rides on her own most days then it understandable she feels like a change.


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## Cycleops (18 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> Electric bike? Never thought about that, would an Electric bike be good for touring?


Absolutely fine, as long as you can charge at days end. With her on an Ebike it will even things up. You could even convert her existing bike for £3/500.
The Moray trip is also a possibility so equipped but will take a few days for 300miles or you could elect to go part way and train back so several options you could consider.
Good luck.


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## Andy in Germany (18 Nov 2018)

Heltor Chasca said:


> Be warned: You need to be broad shouldered or happy enough to empower women with an honest acceptance that being male you might not always be fastest or strongest out of the two of you. She may steal your thunder one day.
> 
> I ride with LOTS of women who are MUCH better than I’ll ever be. It’s hilarious and sad when they pass a bloke who immediately puffs his chest up and overtakes her shortly afterwards just because she is a woman. Then he blows up and she has to pass him again because he is too slow. A tedious game of leapfrog ensues until she tells him to Foxtrot Oscar and he fakes a mechanical and pulls over to hide his embarrassment.



I got accused of this a few weeks back when riding with Beautiful Daughter on the back of the Xtracycle. A couple passed me on Ebikes just before a summit, which precedes a flat bit before crossing a major road. Once on the flat I sped up and caught up as they stopped on the main road. I generally do a rolling stop if possible at this point because it's a slight rise to the road, thus easier to keep rolling, so I passed them and got a mouthful as they then accelerated over the camber about "Having to prove something..." 

Bless...


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## Supersuperleeds (18 Nov 2018)

Our lass rides at half the pace I do. We regularly ride on a Sunday morning and I go out on the hybrid, leave the bike in the little ring and stay behind her, that way she is in control of the pace and where we go.


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## Ming the Merciless (18 Nov 2018)

Heltor Chasca said:


> Be warned: You need to be broad shouldered or happy enough to empower women with an honest acceptance that being male you might not always be fastest or strongest out of the two of you. She may steal your thunder one day.
> 
> I ride with LOTS of women who are MUCH better than I’ll ever be. It’s hilarious and sad when they pass a bloke who immediately puffs his chest up and overtakes her shortly afterwards just because she is a woman. Then he blows up and she has to pass him again because he is too slow. A tedious game of leapfrog ensues until she tells him to Foxtrot Oscar and he fakes a mechanical and pulls over to hide his embarrassment.



Does this really happen? Is it a young male thing? I just plod along at my own pace.


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## Heltor Chasca (18 Nov 2018)

YukonBoy said:


> Does this really happen? Is it a young male thing? I just plod along at my own pace.



Yes. No.

It really happens. I also heard it discussed on a cycling podcast presented by Raya Hubbell (the awesome triathlete)

The instance I am specifically referring to was by a guy in his late 50s or early sixties.

To add balance: On one of my first Audax rides a couple of years ago, a lady was ribbing me at the start for entering the event on my touring bike. (My only alternative back then)

‘Oh you have really set out to make things difficult for yourself haven’t you? Ha ha ha.’

She was the same lady vomiting at the side of the road after 80km. God how sorry for her I felt.


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## Bonefish Blues (18 Nov 2018)

alicat said:


> A tandem is great for mixed ability couples.
> 
> It sounds like you have more free time than she does. Could you do a bigger share of the jobs around the house so she has more time to go out for rides if she wants to?


This, all day long. Harmony restored (except on those occasions where the bike becomes unaccountably heavy when the Stoker's attention (application?) wanders)


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## Skibird (18 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> Not 100% sure to be honest, I never learnt to drive where she had lessons and such, so on the road she has 100x the confidence and skill than me, i much prefer cycle paths and quiet roads.
> 
> I think she feels being out on her own would be boring, she uses her bike to go to work, its a quick 10 min ride from home, but apart from that the only time she will use her bike is with me.


Well that is a positive anyway. Is everything set up correctly for her on the bike, for comfort etc (just looking for any reason she may not feel comfortable)? I go out 99% of the time on my own (just done 21miles whilst hubby was cleaning his van lol) and it is pretty boring but like you, we moved her to the Isle Of Wight and there are not that many people we know that can/will ride so I just have to get on with it unfortunately. This is not serious but could you try gentle bribery lile a new dress, see her favourite show etc, when she completes her first 50 miles and so on (cumulative not in one go).


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## wajc (18 Nov 2018)

There is a big difference in cycling ability between myself and my wife in terms of both speed and distance capability and because of this we rarely go out cycling together.

However we've been a couple of places this year Monsal Trail (ridden 22 miles) and Rutland water (ridden 29 miles) to go cycling together and to do this we have hired an e-bike for the wife and I've used one of my own or hired a standard bike.

It was quite a revelation for her as it made the whole cycling experience much more enjoyable. She was able to complete each ride without feeling shattered at the end and also quicker than she would do normally (although this wasn't the aim). In fact she was happy after completing the full Rutland circuit including the peninsula to agree to add a 10km loop on at the end around the country lanes. 

Both bikes had 4 settings for the assist and most of the time she had them on the 2nd lowest setting. There was plenty of battery life left so I reckon they would have been good for a fair few more miles as well. 

I'd recommend you try something similar and see how you both get on. If she really likes it and you want to tour together it shouldn't be that difficult to plan some touring based on the potential range of the e-bike you have and the ability to charge it at the end of the day (assuming you aren't going bike packing, off-grid somewhere) .


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## Supersuperleeds (18 Nov 2018)

wajc said:


> There is a big difference in cycling ability between myself and my wife in terms of both speed and distance capability and because of this we rarely go out cycling together.
> 
> However we've been a couple of places this year Monsal Trail (ridden 22 miles) and Rutland water (ridden 29 miles) to go cycling together and to do this we have hired an e-bike for the wife and I've used one of my own or hired a standard bike.
> 
> ...



I hope you took a slight detour to pick up the square that is off the main road


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## mjr (18 Nov 2018)

Skibird said:


> I know it's a long shot, but do you have any couple friends who might be interested in going out with you both on bikes so you can ride with the husband ahead and she can ride/chat etc with the wife?


The faster rider(s) should rarely ride ahead IMO. When you single out for whatever reason (oncoming cyclists on a narrow road, whatever), it should be the faster rider who grabs a handful of brake and drops in behind. They have more energy to spare and they can catch up again. If they accelerate in front, the slower rider will struggle to catch them or may get the depressing sight of them stalling or stopping to wait for them.

Check a Breeze group's history before turning up IMO. Some are all lycra, helmets and road bikes. Some include men. Others aren't/don't. I think there are usually better RideSocial options but YMMV.


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## Ming the Merciless (18 Nov 2018)

Plan the rides around her not you. So if there are easier / shorter rides to be done. Then do them. Do not cycle ahead if her, cycle by her side or behind admiring the view.


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## HarryTheDog (18 Nov 2018)

I have been in this position before with my soon to be ex wife and now with my girlfriend. The wife worked part time and found a group of mainly pensioners to cycle with mid week who were more at her level. She was completely un-competitive and liked cycling more for the social aspect and only wanted "comfortable excercise"though she was a really strong rider. My Girlfriend chose spin classes and she now finds she loves the tough exercise and "competes" with the other spinners, I do point out to her she is a 4ft 10 grandmother and should not expect to keep up with the young ladies, but she is determined to match them. It has brought her on leaps and bounds and when we were out the other week she tried to give me a run for my money. We were looking at CX bikes this week as she wants to race with me next year. 
Different strokes for different folks, she is going to have to find what motivates her to ride. I am a big believer in if you don't like it, don't do it.


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## JtB (18 Nov 2018)

Since I’ve started cycling with my wife my average speeds and distances have reduced, but my enjoyment has increased. My wife has indicated on a number of occasions that she feels she’s holding me back, but given the choice of a physically challenging ride or a ride with my wife I’d choose the latter every time.


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## mjr (18 Nov 2018)

JtB said:


> [...], but given the choice of a physically challenging ride or a ride with my wife I’d choose the latter every time.


I'm sorry but fnarr!


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## User76022 (18 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> They was lots of "sorry can I stop a min" and she was feeling really bad, i explained it was fine and she would improve like I am, but I think its put her off quite a bit. She feels without the time to invest she will never improve enough.


Why don't you be the one that asks to stop? 

My missus and I hardly ride out together. Family commitments and differing ability make it a bit difficult. But last summer, for the first summer in years, circumstances meant we could ride together more. I'm vastly fitter than she is. So this is how I handled it. I stopped every few minutes to take photos of things. A wildflower I particularly liked, the view, an interest building. Whatever.

She wasn't holding me back at all. In fact it was me that was holding us back by stopping every few minutes for the slightest reason.

Now the dark nights are here she doesn't get out much on the bike again now. She does on Sundays though. We ride with the kids so we naturally go slow and easy.

My personal rule. Ride at the pace of the slowest rider in the group. Seems to work.


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## Dave 123 (18 Nov 2018)

I’m going to suggest a Breeze ride too.

Tandem. Where do you live? Firms like Rutland Cycles will hire you one for a day to see how you both like it. I can assure you that it’s great fun!


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## JtB (18 Nov 2018)

mjr said:


> I'm sorry but fnarr!


Opps, I’d better start reading what I write before posting


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## Vantage (19 Nov 2018)

@mjr 's suggestion of a ride social group is a good idea. I joined a group local to me earlier this year following a stroke and the social aspect along with the non - raceasfastaspossible pace suits me perfectly.
I found this in the ops location and might be worth a look.


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## chrismisterx (20 Nov 2018)

So a little update,

went for a little ride with my other half yesterday, was a 14 mile trip split in two with a 3-4 hour break in the middle.

We followed the North shields to Newcastle cycle route and stopped at the bike HUB for coffee before heading into town and locking our bikes up at the uni ( seemed a safer place to leave them ) before heading into town for shopping and lunch.

Going was great, took on board all the great advice, I stopped at the one nasty hill before my wife go there and jumped off and asked her if we could just walk up, instead of waiting for her to do that and that was the only time we both stopped and walked. Avg a really nice 7 - 8 miles an hour speed going and thought great cracked it!

Coming back not so good, i think we overate a little as the ride home was a little uncomfortable, plus it had got dark and a little windy, she did the "you just go ahead and I will catch up thing again", so I again jumped off the bike first and said "lets just walk awhile, we are in no hurry"

we still made good time imo and I feel she is being too hard on herself but two interesting things happened the first on the bike ride was I notice her changing gears there was a clanking noise and it looked when i was side onto her that the gears where slipping and she would put the gear back into a higher one, i get the feeling she isnt 100% happy with the bike too. The second thing happened at home, she was on the computer looking for new bikes! which is a great sign, so I dont feel she is ready to give up on cycling yet.

I am going to get an exercise bike for the house, something that we can jump on and do the odd 30 mins when the weather is poor or if its late at night, due to her shifts, but i am going to get us new bikes for xmas with our trip in may to Scotland in mind. She did say if we can get fit she would love to travel more around the UK by cycle and would love to try something like the whole coast at one point in the future!

thanks again for the advice, I did ask if she was interested in joining a group but she isnt keen on that, we have also looked at a tandem at the hub in Newcastle, but again she isnt keen on that and I feel she would rather have 2 bikes, I do think we should hire one and give it ago though!

I like the idea mentioned above about me carry weight and think that would even things out and give me great training on our touring, I hope I can get fit enough to carry the supplies and she can just worry about the riding part.

The more I look into Cycles the more choices and confusing it gets, too much choice maybe lol.


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## Bodhbh (20 Nov 2018)

If it's for a tour, I would've thought the answer would be simple - you carry all the stuff for both of you. Use a trailer if required, but 75l panniers are available too (plus 40l rack top bags, etc). A loaded trailer on the back of my bike turns the 40min commute into something more like an hour.


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## alicat (20 Nov 2018)

Well done for anticipating her needs.

Now just sort her gears out, there is nothing more energy-sapping than gears not behaving predictably in my experience. It puts me on edge for the whole ride.


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## User76022 (20 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> I am going to get an exercise bike for the house


Will that work? 

It's a personal thing. It works for some I'm sure. If it were me, the exercise bike would become a coat rack.

A bike is a means to experience greater freedom of movement in the scenery and fresh air of the outdoors. You happen to get a workout when riding one but that's kind of secondary. The effort of pedalling is the price of that leisure in a way. On an exercise bike you still pay the same price in terms of effort expended, but that price doesn't really buy you the pleasure of being outside whizzing through the scenery 

Im not trying to put you off. If it works for you, great. It works for plenty of people. But before investing in indoor kit it might be worth trying a few pay as you go gym sessions to see if it really floats your boat.


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## chrismisterx (20 Nov 2018)

User76022 said:


> Will that work?
> 
> It's a personal thing. It works for some I'm sure. If it were me, the exercise bike would become a coat rack.
> 
> ...



Understand completely where your coming from, but atm we are both, how can I say it.... fatties. Just did our BMI this week before we start to plan training for this little tour in may and we are both just north of 30 BMI, so the indoor bike will just be a small stop gab to get a few miles in, between shifts and a longish outdoor ride on a weekend. Once we get xmas out the way hoping to replace the indoor bike with out door sessions, just a tool to help get us in a little better shape when the dark nights are here. I am lucky and can still do midweek rides during the day, so I hope this helps with my wifes training.


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## Vantage (20 Nov 2018)

Would a turbo trainer be a better option? 
A cheap one can be had for £30 - 40 and when not in use can be tucked away out of sight.


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## mjr (20 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> Once we get xmas out the way hoping to replace the indoor bike with out door sessions, just a tool to help get us in a little better shape when the dark nights are here. I am lucky and can still do midweek rides during the day, so I hope this helps with my wifes training.


If you get lights that meet certain requirements (search for details), it's legal to ride a bike in the dark. It's a very different view of the world and IMO quite enjoyable.


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## User76022 (20 Nov 2018)

chrismisterx said:


> I notice her changing gears there was a clanking noise and it looked when i was side onto her that the gears where slipping and she would put the gear back into a higher one, i get the feeling she isnt 100% happy with the bike



Gear woes are a sure way to make someone hate their bike. 

Thankfully it doesn't necessarily mean anything is bust, and is often pretty easy to rectify. 

I seem to recall from your first post that the bikes are quite old. I presume they are not so old as to pre date indexed gears? Ie do you have levers and you have to sort of feel for the gears as you change, or do they just click into position (either by clicky levers, triggers or twist grip)? 

Assuming they are indexed, as I believe has been the norm for at least 20 years now but I could be wrong, then a simple cable adjustment might be all that is needed

First thing I'd do is make sure nothing is sticking. A good clean and lube should sort that. A blast of WD40 into the gear components and chain would be my starting point. WD40 is frowned upon by some as dirt sticks to it, but I find on older parts its fine. Just wipe off the excess and let it dry off before next ride. 

With everything moving nicely, next I'd want to see if all gears go in nicely when not under load. Bang it in first then lift the back wheel off the ground, select second then turn the pedals with one hand while holding the bike up with the other. Repeat one gear at a time all the way to the top, then back down again. In an ideal world, the gear changes will be smooth, almost silent, and happen within about half a revolution of the pedals.

If you find it hesitates to change, or if it makes a lot of ticking / rattling as you pedal, chances are the cable is not tensioned right. If the bike is old and hasn't been tuned for a long time, most likely the cable is slack because they stretch over time. There is often a barrel adjuster either at the shifter end on the handlebars or on the derailure itself. With a middle ish gear selected (eg 3rd or 4th), and the bike upside down, you could adjust the tension on the cable until it runs nicely. 

If bottom or top gear specifically are a problem, ie if all gears go in nicely except bottom or top, then most likely the high and low limit screws need minor adjustment. 

Finally if all is great in the lower gears but it gets more sluggish to change into the upper gears, then there is another screw for that, but it's generally best not to touch that unless you're prepared to fiddle quite a bit. 

Cable tension would be the first thing I'd check though.


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## mjr (20 Nov 2018)

User76022 said:


> If the bike is old and hasn't been tuned for a long time, most likely the cable is slack because they stretch over time.


Before you get a ruder reply: they don't often exactly stretch but the effect is similar enough.


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## User76022 (20 Nov 2018)

mjr said:


> Before you get a ruder reply: they don't often exactly stretch but the effect is similar enough.


Does the rest of the bike shrink?


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## MikeG (20 Nov 2018)

User76022 said:


> ......... WD40 is frowned upon by some as dirt sticks to it.........



That's not why it's frowned on. It's frowned on because it isn't really a lubricant. Think of it as a cleaner and moisture-repellent and you'll get a better idea of its qualities. Your advice to spray some on to gunked up or sticky gear mechanisms is spot on, but that should be followed up (once dry) with a proper lubricant.


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## mjr (20 Nov 2018)

User76022 said:


> Does the rest of the bike shrink?


Only if you wash it too often.


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## Ming the Merciless (20 Nov 2018)

Beware the indoor bike becoming a white elephant. For weight loss you want to look at diet, as well as exercise. On its own exercise will be fighting a losing battle.


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## User76022 (20 Nov 2018)

MikeG said:


> That's not why it's frowned on. It's frowned on because it isn't really a lubricant. Think of it as a cleaner and moisture-repellent and you'll get a better idea of its qualities. Your advice to spray some on to gunked up or sticky gear mechanisms is spot on, but that should be followed up (once dry) with a proper lubricant.


Indeed. I tend to use it on older parts. Especially on bikes that have suffered neglect for some time. Once on top of maintenence I tend to use some cheapo Teflon spray lube stuff from wilkos. It's good but I find it wears off after a week or so. I used to use WD40 for everything. I know it's not primarily a, lube but it is effective as one. Except it does readily mix with dust to form a thick gunge that needs scrubbing off, so now I only use it for the initially freeing up of stiff parts.


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## Nebulous (23 Nov 2018)

The only way to get better is to ride - lots. 
For some people it needs to be sociable - with a purpose. My wife has arthritis and was very limited in what she could do. Canal towpaths / ex- railway lines worked but no inclines at all. 

She got an electric bike and it has made a huge difference. We're still limited for distance because of the battery, but can go further. However I will ride round in a huge circle, simply because I can. She likes to have a purpose and to plan that. "We'll go to X and have a coffee." "I fancy going to Y then coming back via Z that road has a beauty spot and I'd like to get some photos." 

I give up all ideas of performance, usually try to have her lead so I can adjust my speed to hers. Treat it as a leisure event, rather than training. 

From what you're saying she feels pressured by you. Try to get her out with a ladies group. There are considerably more men than women riding and it can be a very testosterone fuelled business. It's hard for us to recognise how off-putting that is, but many women thrive in their own groups, where the dynamic can be different. Some enjoy competing with men as well though, so it isn't one size fits all.


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## CXRAndy (30 Jan 2020)

My wife is casual ad hoc cyclist. She has got fit enough to ride 40 miles. but then let it slip with commitments of life, children etc. 

I built her an ebike, instantly she could ride 20 miles and at a pace to match me. After just a few rides I had to draft her on inclines to stay with her. I spec'd the bike with a big battery, so if she ever desired to ride 100 miles she could. The advantage of a big battery is that never feels like the battery will run flat.


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## derrick (30 Jan 2020)

chrismisterx said:


> So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.
> 
> I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.
> 
> ...


When you ride with the other half, you should leave your ego at home and ride at her pace. Sounds like you get a bit more time to ride than she does.Do your faster rides when your on your own,


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## Mike Ayling (30 Jan 2020)

FishFright said:


> You could slow down and make sure she enjoys the rides and go faster when you're on your own.
> 
> It's always simpler for the faster rider to slow down.


Best advice so far.

Tandems are good ( we have one) but are expensive and not all couples are tandem compatible.

IMHO E bikes should be for recreational riders who are old, infirm or incapacitated.
I am rapidly approaching this stage!

Mike


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## CXRAndy (30 Jan 2020)

Mike Ayling said:


> Best advice so far.
> 
> Tandems are good ( we have one) but are expensive and not all couples are tandem compatible.
> 
> ...



I believe E bikes are brilliant if it gets anyone on a bike that would never normally


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## steveindenmark (31 Jan 2020)

If someone can only get out and ride once or twice a MONTH. It is not because they are busy. Its because they are not interested.

I think you need a heart to heart with your other half. Your idea of cycling may not be her idea of cycling.


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## alicat (31 Jan 2020)

The OP asked the question over a year ago. I expect the issue was resolved some months ago.


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## Sharky (31 Jan 2020)

steveindenmark said:


> If someone can only get out and ride once or twice a MONTH. It is not because they are busy. Its because they are not interested.
> 
> I think you need a heart to heart with your other half. Your idea of cycling may not be her idea of cycling.


Not being interested could be a reason, but there could be other reasons. In my case looking after a severely autistic adult makes time extremely scarce.


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## Dogtrousers (31 Jan 2020)

steveindenmark said:


> If someone can only get out and ride once or twice a MONTH. It is not because they are busy. Its because they are not interested.


I quite often manage only two rides in a month. I typically only do rides that take the best part of a day and it can be hard to schedule a full day just for me to swan off on my own. It takes a significant amount of pre-planning.

I can assure you I am interested.


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## MichaelW2 (31 Jan 2020)

Fit some super efficient mid sized tyres to your wife's bike, and put some cheap, nasty knobbly ones on your bike.


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## steveindenmark (31 Jan 2020)

Dogtrousers said:


> I quite often manage only two rides in a month. I typically only do rides that take the best part of a day and it can be hard to schedule a full day just for me to swan off on my own. It takes a significant amount of pre-planning.
> 
> I can assure you I am interested.


I agree. A full day ride can take some planning. Getting out for a couple of hours a couple of hours a week is a lot easier.


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## iluvmybike (31 Jan 2020)

Try riding behind her so that she can set the pace instead of always trailing behind you. We ladies often lack a bit of confidence in our abilities and need encouragement from other ladies so a breeze ride or otehr ladies group wopuld be perfect for her. Also is she riding a decent bike - I know so many couples where 'he' has the latest in all the gear and 'she' is riding round on a cheap tractor wieght bso!


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## CXRAndy (31 Jan 2020)

Just buy an ebike or fit a motor kit to her current bike. The inclines will be a breeze for her. She will be able to hold 15-16 mph which will most likely be faster than you.


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## Phaeton (31 Jan 2020)

steveindenmark said:


> If someone can only get out and ride once or twice a MONTH. It is not because they are busy. Its because they are not interested.


Total BULLPOO!!!! that has to be the most arrogant answer on this forum so far this year.


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## winjim (31 Jan 2020)

Phaeton said:


> Total BULLPOO!!!! that has to be the most arrogant answer on this forum so far this year.


It's like people don't have jobs and families.


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## mustang1 (31 Jan 2020)

When I go out for family rides, they know I'm not training for anything just just enjoy pootling.


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## carpenter (1 Feb 2020)

I always ride behind my wife, she is a stronger/faster rider than me when she puts her mind to it. I also enjoy the view


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## Frottish (7 Feb 2020)

Try getting her into indoor cycling at home like Zwift, if she likes it and starts to do 30 minute rides regularly (2-3 times a week) she'll improve quickly in the real world.


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## mjr (12 Feb 2020)

alicat said:


> The OP asked the question over a year ago. I expect the issue was resolved some months ago.


There are plenty of similar instances, so why end the discussion just because the original poster's wife has murdered him or ridden away or whatever?


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## mjr (12 Feb 2020)

carpenter said:


> I always ride behind my wife, she is a stronger/faster rider than me when she puts her mind to it. I also enjoy the view


How's that work? Doesn't she just ride away from you then and get annoyed having to wait?


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## 12boy (12 Feb 2020)

A few things that can slow a person down are:
Their clothing isn't comfortable for cycling
The bike doesn't work as it should. In particular, gear shifting is clunky or noisy.
The bike is uncomfortable or set up so as to be more work to pedal.
An experienced person knows what a well tuned, comfortable bike should feel like, but a newcomer may think any problems they are having are their fault.
When I set up a bike for my wife it had 1 speed, low gearing, a ladies saddle, and handlebars a little higher than the saddle. That way she didn't have to worry about shifting which she was afraid of, and we picked mostly flat routes so she could pedal along fairly easily. We took the bikes in our van to the bike path so she wouldn't have to ride in traffic which was scary, especially as she did not trust her braking and bike handling in general. These 5 mph rides were not what I like, but it really wasn't about me anyway. Conversely, a ride on a nice sunny day, at an easy pace on a comfortable bike that feels comfortable and works perfectly and in pleasant surroundings is a good way to get started. 
She went through a hellish period with breast cancer, chemo, radiation, a mastectomy and an implant which became infected and had to be removed. She quit riding during this time but is getting better although two years later there are still residual problems that kick her butt from time to time. She is looking forward to more riding this spring though, because she remembers those pre-cancer rides as pleasant and fun. I am looking forward to that too.


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## carpenter (12 Feb 2020)

mjr said:


> How's that work? Doesn't she just ride away from you then and get annoyed having to wait?


It gives me the incentive to work harder and she is very kind


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