# Proper Cyclists



## Markymark (1 Apr 2015)

I can see there’s lots of sections for different type of cyclists (commuting, touring, family etc). Just wondering if it would be worth putting another forum section for serious cyclists?

I consider myself a serious cyclist and it would be great if we could have a section for other cyclists like me. When I say serious I mean they would have to have bikes with, say, more than 15 gears, spent a decent amount buying it (ie you must own at least one bike over £1K and own more than one bike), wear proper clothes (SPDs, helmets, HiViz if dark etc). 

I don’t want to get stuck on equipment, I also mean people who ride seriously – ie not just pootling along between cafes but go out for a fast ride and decent distances. I take it seriously so don’t want to chat to people about what the views are like etc. But I do expect someone on a similar bike etc to recognise I’m on a serious ride and nod hi when we pass.

I was thinking it could be a section called Proper Cyclists?


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## Drago (1 Apr 2015)

Not sure if this is an April fools wheeze or not?


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## Tin Pot (1 Apr 2015)




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## uclown2002 (1 Apr 2015)

Drago said:


> Not sure if this is an April fools wheeze or not?


I'm surprised you're not sure! Seems pretty obvious!


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## ianrauk (1 Apr 2015)

You are Bonj and I claim my £5.00


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## Slioch (1 Apr 2015)

I really like this idea.

I'm sick to death of reading on here about people "pootling" or "bimbling" and refusing to wear helmets. And those people who stop to take photographs whilst out on their rides and then post them in the "your ride today" thread - what's that all about!! . Do they seriously think anyone else is remotely interested in their self-obsessed attention seeking delusional fantasies?

Are there any geographical limits on who can be a member of this erstwhile band @0-markymark-0. or would you propose membership is restricted to only those proper cyclists who live within, say, the M25?


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## Joshua Plumtree (1 Apr 2015)

And can we not have sub sections based on average speed, cost of best bike and how cool we look?


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## Markymark (1 Apr 2015)

Slioch said:


> Are there any geographical limits on who can be a member of this erstwhile band @0-markymark-0. or would you propose membership is restricted to only those proper cyclists who live within, say, the M25?


Well, as much as I like the idea, I think it could be open to the rest of the country as it'll make sure us London cyclists are at the top of the list with the proper amount of money spent on bikes.


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## Racing roadkill (1 Apr 2015)




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## Diggs (1 Apr 2015)

Presumably photos during rides are allowed but only monochrome arty shots of suffering?


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## John the Monkey (1 Apr 2015)

Diggs said:


> Presumably photos during rides are allowed but only monochrome arty shots of suffering?


There should definitely be an exception for that. And a strict "Three strikes" rule on implying that cycling is in anyway enjoyable.


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## youngoldbloke (1 Apr 2015)

http://www.velominati.com/ - off you go, 0-markymark-0


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## jefmcg (1 Apr 2015)

youngoldbloke said:


> http://www.velominati.com/ - off you go, 0-markymark-0


I've only ever popped over there to be annoyed by _The Rules _before. OMG, is it like this every day??? Or just April 1st. What a pack of self-gratification artists! (I expected "self-gratification artists" to be censored)



> *THE RIDES*
> 
> by frank / Nov 17 2011 / 1778 posts
> 
> ...





> *THE MAN WITH THE HAMMER*
> by frank / Dec 6 2008 / 27 posts
> 
> 
> ...


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> I can see there’s lots of sections for different type of cyclists (commuting, touring, family etc). Just wondering if it would be worth putting another forum section for serious cyclists?
> 
> I consider myself a serious cyclist and it would be great if we could have a section for other cyclists like me. When I say serious I mean they would have to have bikes with, say, more than 15 gears, spent a decent amount buying it (ie you must own at least one bike over £1K and own more than one bike), wear proper clothes (SPDs, helmets, HiViz if dark etc).
> 
> ...


Hmmm, I do like the idea, although there are a couple of criteria where I fall short. However as I am one of the top cyclists in the UK and should certainly be classed as a proper cyclist for that reason alone, could I suggest that we organise some kind of race off? So, for example, my bike did not cost £1000+ but I would certainly beat you in any kind of challenge you'd like to set so I could be included in the club. In fact after you'd seen how fast I am I'd probably be a moderator.


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## vickster (1 Apr 2015)

I think a proper cyclist must be someone who spent £1000 on their wheels, nay each wheel...and the cost of the whole bike £3k+?


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

vickster said:


> I think a proper cyclist must be someone who spent £1000 on their wheels, nay each wheel...and the cost of the whole bike £3k+?


What if it's black?


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## vickster (1 Apr 2015)

What if it is?


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

Just wondering if you'd consider someone on a black bike a proper cyclist, I know you're not keen on them, and I think @0-markymark-0 is looking at some pretty strict entrance criteria.


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## Markymark (1 Apr 2015)

Mugshot said:


> Just wondering if you'd consider someone on a black bike a proper cyclist, I know you're not keen on them, and I think @0-markymark-0 is looking at some pretty strict entrance criteria.


If you are debating the rules, it means you are not serious. A proper cyclist would know. Please go join the pootling section.


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> If you are debating the rules, it means you are not serious. A proper cyclist would know. Please go join the pootling section.


Personally I think you should have been clearer about the rules and you have shown a staggering lack of seriousness as you clearly haven't thought things through.
This for example;


0-markymark-0 said:


> (SPDs, helmets, HiViz if dark etc).


SPDs? SPDs!!! Are we on mountain bikes?


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## Apollonius (1 Apr 2015)

There are perfectly reasonable SPD pedals for road bikes too. They are usually referred to as SLs, but they are SPDs. They even look like pedals.


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## Dan B (1 Apr 2015)

Apollonius said:


> There are perfectly reasonable SPD pedals for road bikes too. They are usually referred to as SLs, but they are SPDs. They even look like pedals.


They're still made by Shimano, though. A proper cyclist wouldn't put that tat on his bike


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## arch684 (1 Apr 2015)

pootling section for me and i will be happy there


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## Tim Hall (1 Apr 2015)

jefmcg said:


> I've only ever popped over there to be annoyed by _The Rules _before. OMG, is it like this every day??? Or just April 1st. What a pack of self-gratification artists! (I expected "self-gratification artists" to be censored)


The preferred term for the self appointed "keepers of the cog" is nobbers. You ask @User . HTH.


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## summerdays (1 Apr 2015)

As a serious cyclist, what is your opinion of cows?


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## Dayvo (1 Apr 2015)

I suppose fat, ugly, poor people aren't allowed into your clique of serious cyclists? 

it's just before midday (in England) so it still counts, doesn't it?


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## Markymark (1 Apr 2015)

Dayvo said:


> I suppose fat, ugly, poor people aren't allowed into your clique of serious cyclists?


Of course. 3 or 4 of the ugliest CC members have already posted on this thread...


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> Of course. 3 or 4 of the ugliest CC members have already posted on this thread...


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## stephec (1 Apr 2015)

What if you qualify but you're one of these johnny come lately's who's come over from golf as cycling is the new golf?

I'd say a qualifying period of ten years at least for anyone over 25.


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## PeteXXX (1 Apr 2015)

Do 'proper' cyclists have to use WD40 or GT85?

So far this year I've ridden 1,200 miles on one can of GT85! (stops the piles, you know...)


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## sidevalve (1 Apr 2015)

Damn sensible idea. This forum is over run with wimps unable to manage going up 1 in 4 hills at anything over forty mph. When we used to deliver the Hovis we had to work for a living, and that were on proper bikes made from good solid gas pipe.


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## LonesomeWanderer (1 Apr 2015)

sidevalve said:


> Damn sensible idea. This forum is over run with wimps unable to manage going up 1 in 4 hills at anything over forty mph. When we used to deliver the Hovis we had to work for a living, and that were on proper bikes made from good solid gas pipe.


Erm..... the hill you're *supposed* to deliver Hovis up is only 1 in 6.....
http://road.cc/content/blog/59204-hell-hovis-hill


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## John the Monkey (1 Apr 2015)

LonesomeWanderer said:


> Erm..... the hill you're *supposed* to deliver Hovis up is only 1 in 6.....
> http://road.cc/content/blog/59204-hell-hovis-hill


See, they've even made the hills easier.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


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## KneesUp (1 Apr 2015)

My bike is an old Peugeot that would have been flung in a skip in the 1990s, but I bought it off eBay for £500 because it has a Brookes saddle, brown bar tape and only one brake - and is now a fixie. Although it doesn't meet the cost criteria I was hoping I could be allowed into the forum on a value-for-money basis. If it helps my application I can also reveal I have a beard.


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## Arrowfoot (1 Apr 2015)

OP has a point. I too take cycling seriously. I respect that others do it less seriously and wish them well. A separate forum section with some clear graphics would send a clear message to prospective posters what the right tempo and tone should be. For the graphics a beach scene with a grove of swaying coconut trees with an open bar lined with pina coladas would be great.


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## Crackle (1 Apr 2015)

Can we also have an Irreverent forum, the serious one could be a sub-forum inside it, I think that would send out all the right messages then. Put SC&P in too and helmets.


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## vickster (1 Apr 2015)

is it not now after midday


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## Gravity Aided (1 Apr 2015)

No, it is 7:06 am.


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

stephec said:


> What if you qualify but you're one of these johnny come lately's who's come over from golf as cycling is the new golf?


If you were playing to a single figure handicap then you'll be ok, otherwise you're an oik and should be ashamed of yourself.


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## ayceejay (1 Apr 2015)

If we have a section for proper cyclists in fairness we should have one for improper cyclists where we can discuss daffodils and daffodiling in peace.


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## Mugshot (1 Apr 2015)

Ah, the forum swear filter, you just never ever know anymore do you?


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## John the Monkey (1 Apr 2015)

Crackle said:


> Can we also have an Irreverent forum...


Who on earth would use such a thing?


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## Crackle (1 Apr 2015)

John the Monkey said:


> Who on earth would use such a thing?


Excellent, you passed the first test, you're in.


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## John the Monkey (1 Apr 2015)

The serious forum should also have a subtle musical theme that plays softly to get the serious cyclists in an appropriate mood for non-frivolous riding.

I suggest "Devil's Gallop".


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## _aD (1 Apr 2015)

I am completely with you. Unless you have your front rack installed, so packing four panniers all of which are 15% over their rated load, your trailer is a quivering mass of bungee-corded furniture, Blue Circle cement bags and crying children, and you only ever get into 3rd on the _winching_ chainring...it's just not Proper Cycling.


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## snorri (1 Apr 2015)

0-markymark-0 said:


> Just wondering if it would be worth putting another forum section for serious cyclists?


Being a proper cyclist myself the thread title Proper Cyclists immediately drew me in, but I soon lost interest at your mention of serious cyclists in the opening lines.
I don't wish to be associated with serious cyclists thank you, I'm out.


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## Oldbloke (1 Apr 2015)

Concerned I'll be prevented from posting as living in France and being the uncool side of 40. What if I promise not to use silly words like BIDON ?


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## KneesUp (1 Apr 2015)

Oldbloke said:


> Concerned I'll be prevented from posting as living in France and being the uncool side of 40. What if I promise not to use silly words like BIDON ?


When you're older you'll be the right side of 40, though.


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## Piemaster (1 Apr 2015)

PeteXXX said:


> Do 'proper' cyclists have to use WD40 or GT85?
> So far this year I've ridden 1,200 miles on one can of GT85! (stops the piles, you know...)


Wouldn't it be easier to ride your bike that sort of distance?


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## Joshua Plumtree (1 Apr 2015)

Personally, I find anyone who can't hold a 15mph average contemptible.


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## Ian H (1 Apr 2015)

A very famous record-breaking British cyclist recently said, "never sacrifice style for speed." A proper cyclist could be riding a cheap folder shopper and knowledgeable folk would still look and think — _(s)he's a proper cyclist_.


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## outlash (1 Apr 2015)

Pah, lightweights the lot of you. Come back to me when you're doing 20 min 10 Mi TT's on a Steel frame bike with a hub gear.


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## ColinJ (1 Apr 2015)

ianrauk said:


> You are Bonj ...


I was just thinking that ...



ianrauk said:


> ...and I claim my £5.00


... but the fiver is _*mine*_ - muhaha!


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## Dogtrousers (1 Apr 2015)

Uber like to @0-markymark-0 for this.


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## Pat "5mph" (1 Apr 2015)

Joshua Plumtree said:


> And can we not have sub sections based on how cool we look?


We already bhave it: the CC Ecosse contingent is well ueber cool, bloody freezing as a matter of fact


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## John the Monkey (2 Apr 2015)

Of course, we'll have to take care not to confuse this with the forum for clean French cyclists, or "Propre Cyclistes".


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## winjim (2 Apr 2015)

Can we have a subsection in Technical for proper mechanics? I suggest as an entry requirement submission of a 1000 word discourse on the difference between a _sprocket_ and a _cog_.


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## outlash (2 Apr 2015)

John the Monkey said:


> Of course, we'll have to take care not to confuse this with the forum for clean French cyclists, or "Propre Cyclistes".



So no entry requirement of your daily dose of Belgian toothpaste then?

Tony.


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## MisterStan (2 Apr 2015)

outlash said:


> Pah, lightweights the lot of you. Come back to me when you're doing 20 min 10 Mi TT's on a Steel frame bike with* a hub gear*.


Gears? GEARS? The one true way is fixed. Come back when you're man enough to finish a 10 mi TT on a fixed gear!


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## MartinQ (2 Apr 2015)

Time to stop the April fool ...
We all know that @0-markymark-0 isn't a proper cyclist, hence the April's fool


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## John the Monkey (2 Apr 2015)

MartinQ said:


> Time to stop the April fool ...
> We all know that @0-markymark-0 isn't a proper cyclist, hence the April's fool


I wish someone would tell Roadcyclinguk, who've described 105 as "entry level" today.


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## jayonabike (2 Apr 2015)

Well it is the entry level if you want your cables under the bar tape


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## MisterStan (2 Apr 2015)

Not so any more Jay - Tiagra now has hidden cabling!


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## MisterStan (2 Apr 2015)

Also the new chainset doesn't make me want to vomit!


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## steveindenmark (3 Apr 2015)

WTF is a "Proper" cyclist?


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## MisterStan (3 Apr 2015)

steveindenmark said:


> WTF is a "Proper" cyclist?


Read the first post again properly. Check the date it was posted. As you were.


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## steveindenmark (3 Apr 2015)

Thanks Stan. 

Its just that I am one of those Unproper cyclists. I wanted to make sure I was eligible to join.


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## cyberknight (3 Apr 2015)

MisterStan said:


> Not so any more Jay - Tiagra now has hidden cabling!


Oooh , changing from apex to tiagra looks promising, i cant gte on with sram hoods .


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## ianrauk (3 Apr 2015)

steveindenmark said:


> Thanks Stan.
> 
> Its just that I am one of those Unproper cyclists. I wanted to make sure I was eligible to join.




You're a 'Proper Scooterist'


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## MisterStan (3 Apr 2015)

cyberknight said:


> Oooh , changing from apex to tiagra looks promising, i cant gte on with sram hoods .


It looks great, I have the old Tiagra on my commuter, the shifting is still sharp after 8000 miles.


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## Mugshot (3 Apr 2015)

MisterStan said:


> It looks great, I have the old Tiagra on my commuter, the shifting is still sharp after 8000 miles.


Thats's just caught my attention, is there any reason (aside from maintenance) why it wouldn't still be sharp after 8000 miles? How quickly would you expect them to deteriorate?


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## MisterStan (3 Apr 2015)

I don't know how long I'd expect them to last, but three winters, all weather use, still on the original deraileurs (new jockey wheels) have just replaced the chain rings. I'm pleased with that.


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## jefmcg (3 Apr 2015)

Coincidently, my tiagra (2012) shifters lasted just under 8000 miles. Something snapped inside so I reluctantly (not!) replaced them with 105s.


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## MisterStan (3 Apr 2015)

8000 miles you say? 

*Starts sweating nervously*


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## Mugshot (3 Apr 2015)

Well mine are about 15000 miles in, I've replaced the jockey wheels and cables once in that time, and they still seem to be going strong, I think you'll be fine for a while yet @MisterStan


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## steveindenmark (3 Apr 2015)

ianrauk said:


> You're a 'Proper Scooterist'





As well 

But I do have bikes as well.


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## steveindenmark (3 Apr 2015)

Are cyclist who are not proper cyclists, improper cyclists? The Improper Cyclists, or TICs for short.

We could start our own club.


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## MisterStan (3 Apr 2015)

W


steveindenmark said:


> Are cyclist who are not proper cyclists, improper cyclists? The Improper Cyclists, or TICs for short.
> 
> We could start our own club.


Would it have rules?


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## simongt (4 Apr 2015)

Does 'serious cyclists' include the ones that I often see wearing the full lycra, riding a decent road bike, BUT haven't the first clue how to use the multiplicity of gears that they insist on as part of the spec for their chosen steed - ? BY this I mean being on the 52 at the front and at the same time being on the biggest cog of their 9 / 10 / 11 speed cassette at the back.


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## jay clock (11 Dec 2017)

Just found this and it deserves resurrection


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## Ajax Bay (11 Dec 2017)

jay clock said:


> it deserves resurrection


Wrong time of the year. It is not worthy (or deserving).


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## spen666 (11 Dec 2017)

What's an improper cyclist?


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## Nigel-YZ1 (11 Dec 2017)

Am I a proper cyclist if I see snow and my first thought is getting out on my bike?


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## Bollo (11 Dec 2017)

jay clock said:


> Just found this and it deserves resurrection


I'll bring the jar on the 20th, so have some change ready. 

View attachment 375347


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## jay clock (11 Dec 2017)

spen666 said:


> What's an improper cyclist?


this?


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