# UK to Lithuania by bike 2014



## User (29 Aug 2016)




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## Fab Foodie (29 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440462, member: 21629"]
View attachment 141795
I bought that my posh road bike in November 2013 and few months later I remembered that I have an old dream - to cycle from UK to LT (LT=Lithuania). It seemed to be absolutely impossible (1300 miles to ride), but dream is a dream, I am crazy enough to do things that seem to be impossible.
It took my 9 days. 29 June 2014 - 7 July 2014. "Touring" stuff - road bike, small backpack (it holded 2 litres of water in a bag), quite big saddle bag and TT bars (very good things to keep your warm clothes on it when it's too hot).
One day and half of another day went on trains. For a reason.
Route: Calais (FR) - Zoersel (BE) - Duisburg (DE) - Bad Oeynhausen - Helmstedt - Teltow - Tarnowo Podgorne (PL) - Grudziadz - Pisz - Lazdijai (LT). From Lazdijai went to Kaunas by bus and my mother picked my up there. Simply Pisz to Kaunas would be too many miles.
I used Garmin 800 GPS, routes were drawn in Garmin Connect website and transfered into GPS. And GPS doesn't like cities. I lost in the middle of Antwerpen and Duisburg, but that magic invention called mobile phone maps helped me. Google maps has got a function special for cyclists showing you how flat or hilly your route will be, so I choose as flat route as possible.
I was sleeping in hotels (safety first), eating in hotels and restaurants (holiday, I don't count every pense I spent).
Stuff: lots of electronics (GPS, mobiles, chargers). Few cycling clothing - I eas pedaling, not staring at churches or trees.
p.s. I can repair my bike by myself so that was not a headache.
All price for journey was about £1000 including trains, hotels, food etc.
So came back home on Saturday morning (old good days when I have had a job, almost started to cry), had a sleep and in late evening catch a train to Dover. Then ferry to Calais (I have heard nothing about illegals in 2014). Trying to get out of Calais and see 3 black man going to my direction. But I'm on a bike, I'm fast, ha ha. Finally got out of Calais and headed to Dunkerque. To make my trip more interesting rain started. When I got out of Calais it was thw worst monsoon ever. Even my spinal cord was soaked. 6 hours of that f**ing rain which finally stoped at 10 am.
So first day of my trip and a thought "you bloody idiot wtf are you doing???" 160 miles from Calais to Zoersel. But I survived. Dirty, stinky, soaked, then dried, still stinky - I was allowed to take my bike into youth hostel room coz everyone were impressed of my day's mileage. Even me, honestly. Mmm, wind was very weak but all way it was blowing into my back, that helped so much.
So after 6 hours of pouring rain sun showed herself. Very hot sun. And I didn't have any suncream - what idiot thinks about getting sunburn in Belgium? Well, I though and I gott. And I got horrible sunburn. Horrible is a very gentle word, really I would use worst words I know. Next day pain was so terrible I struggle to go to wc (no, bed was ok, but going to wc was like crossing Sahara - loooooong looooong way).
So I crossed France and Belgium without any adventures (I mean angry dogs or chasing cows etc). Belgium has got cycle paths absolutely everywhere. So no need to go into a road. Just met some nice friendly fellas on cycle path - few sheep. 
Zone of Belgium near sea is absolutely flat. I had 7 metres going uphil and that was cycling onto a road ring. I think first of all God created Himalayas, then Apls and other European mountains, finally he got bored and created Belgium. Good old man.
Next day Zoersel to Duisburg, 120 miles. Same crap as in Antwerpen - too many buildings and GPS told me "go to wc" and screen went white. But I have mobile phone so found my hotel. BTW, my Garmin loves jokes - I have to ride through sand (about 200 feet, but it was fun), through forest road (also fun after endless roads), tunnel beyond river in Antwerpen. But it was fun despite big surprised eyes of locals. I don't care, I'm a tourist. 
Germany has got a national tragedy - cycle paths. Made from cobblestones, pieces of concrete and other sh*t. Good for FS bike, but for a road one it was ouch.
Ha ha, I was cycling through Braunschweig and suddenly my belly decided that it needs to visit wc *NOW*. In a very city centre. No "wait for 10 minutes - *now*". And when sh*t happens, it happens from all ways - GPS went white. In that case I simply went almost insane, told to Garmin that either he wakes up in 2 seconds or it will be broken into nearest wall and that was not a joke. It worked, Garmin suddenly woke up and was a good bastard all days without doing any bullshit.
The same Braunschweig and one moment I feel hungry like tyranosaurus rex after 4 months starving. I saw something like worst pub in UK, but it served food. Ugly food, but my stomach can digest a train and with cola it was ok.
Till Poland no adventures (I don't speak German, just main words). Poland was good. 
From Grudziadz to Pisz went on train. I sat in front of drunk Pole old skinny little peaceful man. He immediately was surprised why I wear a helmet on trin. I was too lazy to chat with drunk man so say nothing. Then he decided that I don't understand him and started use his arms language. From the depth of the train I heard "hahaha hohoho". I almost laughed myself. But I said him something in Lithuanian, Pole was surprised that he met a tourist on a train in the middle of Poland and said nothing.
But as a drunk Pole he was unable to sit in one place. So he went to train wc for a cigarette. It's not allowed but who cares. A minute later a child came to wc. But wc locked coz Pole smokes. Child dissapears. 5 minutes later history repeats. Child dissapears again. And then it happens. Child came again, but behinh him all train started to shake. Something like mini earthquake. All train suddenly became interested what's going on. That earthquake was child's mother. Big Mama. Very Big Mama. If someone ever seen cartoon "Madagascar" - there's a scene when hippopotamus Gloria escapes out of the zoo simply running with all wall. So the scene inwc was very similar. Poor Pole was taken by his clothes, kicked out off wc and dropped into his seat. There was a massive laugh on a train.
Despite adventures on trains (highly recomended if you speak Polish) Poland itself is quite boring. Very good quality of roads (shame to UK - UK pay money into EU budget and Poland use it properly), very tasty food even in smallest pub and very big portions, every 10 - 15 km you will see fuel station where you will always find something to eat and have a rest. 20 years ago Poland was a sh*tty country, now it's proper Western European part. With very friendly people.
Don't forget - I'm not a Polish. 

Link to some photos:
https://goo.gl/photos/WD9NAyGCi47ncASN8[/QUOTE]
Brilliant, just brilliant!
Inspiring too, with good photos. You should write.


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## shouldbeinbed (29 Aug 2016)

Epic post for an epic ride. 

Chapeau to you.


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## Roadrider48 (29 Aug 2016)

Great story and fantastic pics.
I have some of those SIS bottles, just sayin'.


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## Roadrider48 (29 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440563, member: 21629"]They're the biggest ones, 1 litre each. Very important on hot days. There was a day during that trip in 2014 when I drank 5 litres of water, 2 big chocolate milkshakes in local McDonalds and God knows how many bottles of water from petrol stations. So you can count 10 litres of fluids just during one hot day. What I would be doing with those childish small drink bottles?[/QUOTE]
They are ideal for this weather, it's true. I also drink a lot, even when it isn't that warm.
I'm always peeing as a consequence.


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## deptfordmarmoset (29 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440462, member: 21629"]."

Zone of Belgium near sea is absolutely flat. I had 7 metres going uphil and that was cycling onto a road ring. I think first of all God created Himalayas, then Apls and other European mountains, finally he got bored and created Belgium. Good old man.
[/QUOTE]


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## Roadrider48 (29 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440814, member: 21629"]@Roadrider48
Yeah, that's totally not fair. When a man needs a pee, he simply goes behind a tree and pretends scratching his ass. But with a woman ... First of all you cannot wear bibshorts though they're very comfortable. Second, if you will sit behind tree pretending scratching your ass, that ass will shine 50 miles radius.
But sometimes men need a sh*t, so that makes equality  especially taking their bibshorts off, muahahahaha (evil laugh) [/QUOTE]
You have an excellent sense of humour, I like it. 
I try to make sure I go before I go out. It makes life a lot easier!


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## Spinney (29 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440814, member: 21629"]@Roadrider48
Yeah, that's totally not fair. When a man needs a pee, he simply goes behind a tree and pretends scratching his ass. But with a woman ... First of all you cannot wear bibshorts though they're very comfortable. *Second, if you will sit behind tree pretending scratching your ass*, that ass will shine 50 miles radius.
But sometimes men need a sh*t, so that makes equality  especially taking their bibshorts off, muahahahaha (evil laugh) [/QUOTE]

You also have to check there aren't any stinging nettles or thistles there. 
DAMHIKT


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## Pat "5mph" (29 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440462, member: 21629"]In that case I simply went almost insane, told to Garmin that either he wakes up in 2 seconds or it will be broken into nearest wall and that was not a joke. It worked, Garmin suddenly woke up and was a good bastard all days without doing any bullshit.[/QUOTE]
Brilliant!


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (30 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440814, member: 21629"]First of all you cannot wear bibshorts though they're very comfortable[/QUOTE]
You can, but it helps to have put your bib over your top or have a good/decent sports bra and plenty of cover. Dahikt


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## booze and cake (30 Aug 2016)

Great ride report. That sunburn, ouch that sent shivers down me spine.

And in relation to bib shorts, I have some but I've never really seen the point of them, other than the massive hassle. I've never had a problem with normal cycling shorts falling down. In my MTB days my mate Dan was nicknamed Yogi (as in Yogi bear) for his tendency to disappear into the woods for a sneaky number 2's.


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## T4tomo (30 Aug 2016)

I've ridden with a lass who could pee whilst wearing bibs, by rolling / stretching one leg up. I'm assuming she had good aim and no tendency to sprinkle, but in the interests of modesty I didn't witness her technique in action.

Good write up, but that sunburn looked awful.


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## Spinney (30 Aug 2016)

booze and cake said:


> Great ride report. That sunburn, ouch that sent shivers down me spine.
> 
> And in relation to bib shorts, I have some but* I've never really seen the point of them*, other than the massive hassle. I've never had a problem with normal cycling shorts falling down. In my MTB days my mate Dan was nicknamed Yogi (as in Yogi bear) for his tendency to disappear into the woods for a sneaky number 2's.


I don't wear bibshorts, for the reasons OMG gives! But my problem with normal cycling shorts is that I sometimes feel that the waistband is digging uncomfortably into my waist - so I always assumed this was why some folks wore them, not to stop them falling down!


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## T4tomo (30 Aug 2016)

Absolutely, its for the comfort of not having a waist band, and no drafty bit on your back, and the chance to look like a pro wrestler as you get dressed!


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## Fab Foodie (30 Aug 2016)

T4tomo said:


> Absolutely, its for the comfort of not having a waist band, and no drafty bit on your back, and the chance to look like a pro wrestler as you get dressed!


All of that plus it keeps the pad in place too.


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## booze and cake (30 Aug 2016)

Spinney said:


> I don't wear bibshorts, for the reasons OMG gives! But my problem with normal cycling shorts is that I sometimes feel that the waistband is digging uncomfortably into my waist - so I always assumed this was why some folks wore them, not to stop them falling down!



Ah I see, never experienced that, but that makes sense I suppose, I was beginning to think bibs were designed by someone that just does'nt like cyclists or for those that want to practice their escapology techniques.



T4tomo said:


> Absolutely, its for the comfort of not having a waist band, and no drafty bit on your back, and the chance to look like a pro wrestler as you get dressed!



Ha, I got a skinsuit a few months ago, its thermal so its too hot to wear at the moment, but when I have worn it I confess I've felt more than a little bit like a super hero, just without any obvious super powers, unless looking a grade A-tit qualifies as a super power


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## Pat "5mph" (30 Aug 2016)

booze and cake said:


> I've never had a problem with normal cycling shorts falling down.


Obviously you don't have a big discrepancy between your waist circumference and your upper thighs circumference


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## booze and cake (30 Aug 2016)

Pat "5mph" said:


> Obviously you don't have a big discrepancy between your waist circumference and your upper thighs circumference



Haha, quite the opposite actually, I have stupidly thunderous thighs that makes buying trousers on the internet impossible, its more of a problem for me with shorts riding up than falling down, at times I think each leg looks like a beluga whale trying to put on a rollerneck jumper thats a size too small.


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## jonny jeez (30 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4440462, member: 21629"]
View attachment 141795
I bought that my posh road bike in November 2013 and few months later I remembered that I have an old dream - to cycle from UK to LT (LT=Lithuania). It seemed to be absolutely impossible (1300 miles to ride), but dream is a dream, I am crazy enough to do things that seem to be impossible.
It took my 9 days. 29 June 2014 - 7 July 2014. "Touring" stuff - road bike, small backpack (it holded 2 litres of water in a bag), quite big saddle bag and TT bars (very good things to keep your warm clothes on it when it's too hot).
One day and half of another day went on trains. For a reason.
Route: Calais (FR) - Zoersel (BE) - Duisburg (DE) - Bad Oeynhausen - Helmstedt - Teltow - Tarnowo Podgorne (PL) - Grudziadz - Pisz - Lazdijai (LT). From Lazdijai went to Kaunas by bus and my mother picked my up there. Simply Pisz to Kaunas would be too many miles.
I used Garmin 800 GPS, routes were drawn in Garmin Connect website and transfered into GPS. And GPS doesn't like cities. I lost in the middle of Antwerpen and Duisburg, but that magic invention called mobile phone maps helped me. Google maps has got a function special for cyclists showing you how flat or hilly your route will be, so I choose as flat route as possible.
I was sleeping in hotels (safety first), eating in hotels and restaurants (holiday, I don't count every pense I spent).
Stuff: lots of electronics (GPS, mobiles, chargers). Few cycling clothing - I was pedaling, not staring at churches or trees or 130 yo cars.
p.s. I can repair my bike by myself so that was not a headache.
All price for journey was about £1000 including trains, hotels, food etc.
So came back home on Saturday morning (old good days when I have had a job, almost started to cry), had a sleep and in late evening catch a train to Dover. Then ferry to Calais (I have heard nothing about illegals in 2014). Trying to get out of Calais and see 3 black man going to my direction. But I'm on a bike, I'm fast, ha ha. And they cannot hihe inside my bike , it's too thin. :P Finally got out of Calais and headed to Dunkerque. To make my trip more interesting rain started. When I got out of Calais it was the worst monsoon ever. Even my spinal cord was soaked. I put a bin bag on my backpack to keep stuff dry - binbags are 158% waterproofs. 6 hours of that f**ing rain which finally stoped at 10 am.
So first day of my trip and a thought "you bloody idiot wtf are you doing??? You mental idiot and psycho, you eill have to cross half of Europe !!! Idiot ..." 
160 miles from Calais to Zoersel. But I survived. Dirty, stinky, soaked, then dried, still stinky, my shoes stunk worse than man cyclists socks - but I was allowed to take my bike into youth hostel room coz everyone were impressed of my day's mileage. Even me, honestly. Mmm, wind was very weak but all way it was blowing into my back, that helped so much.
So after 6 hours of pouring rain sun showed herself. Very hot sun. And I didn't have any suncream - what idiot thinks about getting sunburn in Belgium? Well, I though and I gott. And I got horrible sunburn. Horrible is a very gentle word, really I would use worst words I know. Next day pain was so terrible I struggle to go to wc (no, bed was ok, but going to wc was like crossing Sahara - loooooong looooong way).
So I crossed France and Belgium without any adventures (I mean angry dogs or chasing cows etc). Belgium has got cycle paths absolutely everywhere. So no need to go into a road. Just met some nice friendly fellas on cycle path - few sheep. 
Zone of Belgium near sea is absolutely flat. I had 7 metres going uphil and that was cycling onto a road ring. I think first of all God created Himalayas, then Apls and other European mountains, finally he got bored and created Belgium. Good old man.
Next day Zoersel to Duisburg, 120 miles. Same crap as in Antwerpen - too many buildings and GPS told me "go to wc" and screen went white. But I have mobile phone so found my hotel. BTW, my Garmin loves jokes - I have to ride through sand (about 200 feet, but it was fun), through forest road (also fun after endless roads), tunnel beyond river in Antwerpen. But it was fun despite big surprised eyes of locals. I don't care, I'm a tourist. 
Germany has got a national tragedy - cycle paths. Made from cobblestones, pieces of concrete and other sh*t. Good for FS bike, but for a road one it was ouch.
Ha ha, I was cycling through Braunschweig and suddenly my belly decided that it needs to visit wc *NOW*. In a very city centre. No "wait for 10 minutes - *now*". And when sh*t happens, it happens from all ways - GPS went white. In that case I simply went almost insane, told to Garmin that either he wakes up in 2 seconds or it will be broken into nearest wall and that was not a joke. It worked, Garmin suddenly woke up and was a good bastard all days without doing any bullshit.
The same Braunschweig and one moment I feel hungry like tyranosaurus rex after 4 months starving. I saw something like worst pub in UK, but it served food. Ugly food, but my stomach can digest a train and with cola it was ok.
Till Poland no adventures (I don't speak German, just main words). Poland was good. 
From Grudziadz to Pisz went on train. I sat in front of drunk Pole old skinny little peaceful man. He immediately was surprised why I wear a helmet on trin. I was too lazy to chat with drunk man so say nothing. Then he decided that I don't understand him and started use his arms language. From the depth of the train I heard "hahaha hohoho". I almost laughed myself. But I said him something in Lithuanian, Pole was surprised that he met a tourist on a train in the middle of Poland and said nothing.
But as a drunk Pole he was unable to sit in one place. So he went to train wc for a cigarette. It's not allowed but who cares. A minute later a child came to wc. But wc locked coz Pole smokes. Child dissapears. 5 minutes later history repeats. Child dissapears again. And then it happens. Child came again, but behinh him all train started to shake. Something like mini earthquake. All train suddenly became interested what's going on. That earthquake was child's mother. Big Mama. Very Big Mama. If someone ever seen cartoon "Madagascar" - there's a scene when hippopotamus Gloria escapes out of the zoo simply running with all wall. So the scene inwc was very similar. Poor Pole was taken by his clothes, kicked out off wc and dropped into his seat. There was a massive laugh on a train.
Despite adventures on trains (highly recomended if you speak Polish) Poland itself is quite boring. Very good quality of roads (shame to UK - UK pay money into EU budget and Poland use it properly), very tasty food even in smallest pub and very big portions, every 10 - 15 km you will see fuel station where you will always find something to eat and have a rest. 20 years ago Poland was a sh*tty country, now it's proper Western European part. With very friendly people.
Don't forget - I'm not a Polish. 

Link to some photos:
https://goo.gl/photos/WD9NAyGCi47ncASN8[/QUOTE]
Awesome and very inspiring. I cant see the photos but will take a look as soon as technology allows.

This could answer the question that's been bouncing around my head for too long..."where next?"

Other posters are right, you have a great sense if humour and a good writing style.

I shall never look at bib shorts the same way again.


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## SatNavSaysStraightOn (30 Aug 2016)

[QUOTE 4441164, member: 21629"]But when you need a pee.... you have to put off almost all your clothes and find a place where nobody will see you nude.[/QUOTE]

You get used to it. Plus like I said a decent bra helps. I've only made the one car run off the road on tour (in Sweden of all places)... Ironically whilst cycle touring in shorts and going for a call of nature!

I often cycle tour in either shorts or bibs. I actually prefer 3/4 lengths (called knickers) having, if you will pardon the pun, splashed out on some expensive asos knickers which more than paid for themselves over the years. They have lasted for all of my tours including my aborted world tour.

We did cycle with a Spaniard who lived in Stockholm whilst we were on Latvia and Lithuania who would literally just stop at the side of the road, no matter how big, busy or its location (city centre on one occasion) and squat there and get on with it. Personally I prefer a touch more cover or at least failing that something like a longer jacket or shawl to cover myself with when needed!

Anyhow, great write up and I loved cycling in Lithuania as well as our 2 weeks forced time off the bikes in


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## Old Steve (31 Aug 2016)

Seriously good read, I enjoyed it very much and nice pictures as well... You have a way with words and its is great..


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## Globalti (13 Dec 2016)

Funny story and great photos, you have excellent composition that makes boring landscapes look interesting.


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