# Unconfident partner



## Pjays666 (13 Jan 2014)

Hi all help needed please. I have been cycling for over a year now and love it , my wife wanted to start cycling too so I took her on a few test rides to see how she got on. She enjoyed it but only feels confident on a very quiet lane near where we live . I have got her a Scott sportster 55 which she is comfortable on. I just can't get her to go on roads or towpaths because of traffic, people etc. I did manage to get her on the sea front from blackpool to fleetwood but struggling getting her out locally. - any advice please


----------



## Pat "5mph" (13 Jan 2014)

Slowly does it, if she really wants to overcome her fear of traffic she will get confidence in time.
It would be better if the person to show her is not you  a bit like better not to get driving lessons from your nearest and dearest!
Is there a ladies beginners group in your area she could join?
Is her work a "cycling friendly employer"? They usually organize short road skills courses for employees.
You can also try your local council for courses or hire an instructor.
Cyclecraft is a good book for learning the theory.
Good luck and let us know her progress in a few months time.


----------



## buggi (13 Jan 2014)

i agree with Pat. Look up local ladies groups or get a bikeability instructor round. Do you cycle in front of her? Try flanking her at the back instead so she feels protected. I have a booklet i use when I'm training, showing basic road positions. I can let you have a copy if you pm me your email.


----------



## zophiel (13 Jan 2014)

My wife was the same, I just took here on small cycle rides on quiet roads and paths. I cycle behind her to keep an eye on traffic from behind so she just has to watch what's coming fro in front of us. She still isn't very confident but it is getting better each time we go out.


----------



## derrick (13 Jan 2014)

I started my other half on a MTB over the forest, then onto the canal paths and eventually on the roads, it's taken a while for her to build her confidence, she now cycles on her ownor wth a mate if i am on a club ride,


----------



## Puddles (15 Jan 2014)

What @Pat "5mph" said.

Also I gained a lot of confidence when I changed my bike type to a more old style sit up and beg type, I just felt more comfortable and able to see and be seen more.


----------



## Lincov (16 Jan 2014)

Maybe see if there's one of the beginner's sky rides near you and do it together? I second a bikeabiility instructor as well. Main thing is keep finding suitable rides and going out together and the confidence will come.

I have a similar problem with my husband, but I haven't managed to persuade him out at all yet :-(. Still working on it!


----------



## Rohloff_Brompton_Rider (16 Jan 2014)

My wife was the same pj, so I took her on the Haslingden / Accrington greenway. She also absolutely loves the promenade from Fairhaven Lake to Fleetwood too.


----------



## PlymSlimCyclist (21 Mar 2014)

buggi said:


> i agree with Pat. Look up local ladies groups or get a bikeability instructor round. Do you cycle in front of her? Try flanking her at the back instead so she feels protected. I have a booklet i use when I'm training, showing basic road positions. I can let you have a copy if you pm me your email.


Hi buggi,

Would it be possible to have a copy of the booklet also?

I'm trying to get my Mum (50) into cycling, as she drove the support vehicle for my Coast to Coast attempt in September 2013, and was amazed at everyone's efforts, which spurred her into buying a bike, but so far not riding it.
Hoping to get her into cycling for commuting to and from work, but it involves a busy (A) road, but has some cycle paths, which I'd like to get her used to before attempting road cycling.

Thank you,


----------



## buggi (21 Mar 2014)

robelliott2125 said:


> Hi buggi,
> 
> Would it be possible to have a copy of the booklet also?
> 
> ...


 send me a pm with your email address, or postal address if you want a hard copy.


----------



## PK99 (21 Mar 2014)

Pjays666 said:


> Hi all help needed please. I have been cycling for over a year now and love it , my wife wanted to start cycling too so I took her on a few test rides to see how she got on. She enjoyed it but only feels confident on a very quiet lane near where we live . I have got her a Scott sportster 55 which she is comfortable on. I just can't get her to go on roads or towpaths because of traffic, people etc. I did manage to get her on the sea front from blackpool to fleetwood but struggling getting her out locally. - any advice please



twin plan of attack:

1. arrange a bikeability session = confidence
2. plan a ride to a pub/cafe/nt place whatever floats her boat = distracting tempter making the ride functional


----------



## Fnaar (22 Mar 2014)

or... the 'in at the deep end' approach...
drop her and the bike off 50 miles form home, and say 'see you later'


----------



## MikeG (22 Mar 2014)

My wife rode Land's End to John O'Groats with me and yet _*still*_ rides down hills at 10mph with the brakes on. I always ride behind her to do the traffic management thing, and call out constantly with encouragement and things like "clear behind" or whatever. Some people are just never going to be confident in all circumstances on a bike sharing the public road, however experienced.


----------



## ufkacbln (22 Mar 2014)

Puddles said:


> What @Pat "5mph" said.
> 
> Also I gained a lot of confidence when I changed my bike type to a more old style sit up and beg type, I just felt more comfortable and able to see and be seen more.



Slightly OT (or maybe not)

These bikes are becoming more common and many of the girls riding them are "younger"

A friend of ours has a daughter who would never use her bike, however after she and a friend saw a girl on a Pashley, basket with flowers interwoven and wearing a dress. They then pestered their parents and one now rides a Pashley Poppy in blue, and the other a Dawes (Countess?) both with flowered baskets

Both now cycle regularly where they would have bussed or walked. 

Could it be that these more "girly / feminine" bikes are a way forward in increasing the number of women on bikes


----------



## ufkacbln (22 Mar 2014)

You will always need to recognise individual styles. 

At a junction, I slow down, bring right pedal to wards the top and if clear cycle through. My partner always stops with the pedal down, checks the junction, then repositions the pedal and pulls off.

Neither is wrong, or right, but it was fun negotiating the pedal position on the tandems!


----------



## Cycleops (22 Mar 2014)

I think it is an age thing, you are just more cautious the older you get and no amount of coaching etc will make any difference. However it's not the same for all.


----------



## S610 (22 Mar 2014)

Local cycling club? Alot of cycling clubs have different groups for different abilities. There is usually a beginners/leisure group where she could be encouraged/supported by other people who havent been cycling long or prefer a slower pace but also have the experienced leaders and sweepers to help her feel safe and pass on vital knowledge. I think its really important for new cyclists to ride in groups of more experienced cyclists to learn all the little things that can make a difference between a safe and unsafe cyclist.


----------



## ColinJ (22 Mar 2014)

Since you only live up the road, you certainly need to get her out on the Padiham Greenway if you haven't done so already!  







(I know that somebody will ask, so: L-R: Steve H, potsy, SlowerThanASluggishSloth, Svendo!)


----------



## yostumpy (24 Mar 2014)

been there , done that , got the t-shirt, gave up! She cycles worse than she drives........some things are better left alone.


----------



## Globalti (25 Mar 2014)

This is a friendly family club that meets by the Blackburn On Yer Bike shop: http://www.busstopbikers.co.uk/


----------



## fimm (25 Mar 2014)

MikeG said:


> My wife rode Land's End to John O'Groats with me and yet _*still*_ rides down hills at 10mph with the brakes on....


I feel I must comment on this - I cycle everywhere, on all kinds of roads, but I'm not a confident descender, and there are circumstances where my boyfriend has to wait for me for longer at the bottom of a hill than he does at the top. Don't mistake lack of desire to go really fast downhill for general lack of road confidence.


----------



## MikeG (25 Mar 2014)

fimm said:


> I feel I must comment on this .......Don't mistake lack of desire to go really fast downhill for general lack of road confidence.



 .....and don't mistake me commenting on my wife's descending ability as some sort of sign that I ride like a pro down a slope:



MikeG said:


> I'm timid as hell down hills and around bends. Particularly down hills. The older I get, the more timid I get. Take your lessons from your falls, and apply them.............. and don't even try to get back to being as fast as you once were.
> 
> Jeez, there are some horrible sounding accidents on just this one page. I'm going to go even slower.


----------



## kedab (26 Mar 2014)

Lincov said:


> Maybe see if there's one of the beginner's sky rides near you and do it together? I second a bikeabiility instructor as well. Main thing is keep finding suitable rides and going out together and the confidence will come.
> 
> I have a similar problem with my husband, but I haven't managed to persuade him out at all yet :-(. Still working on it!


same as that...not with your husband. rather, with my wife. still working on it too. my wife that is. not your husband


----------



## Ern1e (26 Mar 2014)

Fnaar said:


> or... the 'in at the deep end' approach...
> drop her and the bike off 50 miles form home, and say 'see you later'


 You forgot to add and "don't be at home once she gets back"


----------



## EddyP (4 Apr 2014)

A great way to get your wife involved in cycling along the roads is to go to a cycling event. This has worked wonders for myself and my girlfriend who completed the 26 mile London Bikeathon last year and it gave us so much more confidence as we knew others were in our position. We are going back to do it again this year on the 52 mile course but I would definitely recommend the 26 mile course for beginner road cyclists. See below for more information

http://leukaemialymphomaresearch.org.uk/event/london-bikeathon


----------



## David Higson (11 Jun 2014)

There are some terrific traffic-free roads and paths around to gain confidence with.
My wife and I have ridden along the front from Fleetwood down to Lytham, (worst bit being riding through Blackpool with all the crowds of people). Talking of Blackpool, they have the "Ride The Lights" night where cyclists get to ride the five miles from Starr Gate to Bispham (and back) while they're testing the Illuminations. It's a lovely evening ride and takes place on the Tuesday immediately following the August Bank Holiday. 




The only hassle is from the random shoals of MAMILs who haven't realised that it's a family fun ride.
We've also had a nice afternoon ride from Hest Bank to Heysham (through Morecambe) - There's an excellent tea room at either end (the Half Moon Cafe at Heysham serves excellent teacakes (just saying..))


----------

