# Yesterday the world fell out of by backside!



## Easytigers (27 Nov 2013)

Woke up in the night on Monday to sickness and diarrhea. Luckily the sickness only lasted through the night but diarrhea is continuing. The dizziness and shaking has stopped but I'm not in work today. Really want to go in tomorrow but not sure if I should...and whether I'd make it n the bike having not eaten (it's 20 miles round trip).
Any advice? Especially on how to make it go away!!!
Thanks,
Russ


----------



## fossyant (27 Nov 2013)

Thanks for sharing !


----------



## Spinney (27 Nov 2013)

Don't know how to make it go away - but make sure you keep hydrated. Diarrhea can kill through dehydration. Dehydration sachets, or if you haven't got that semi-skimmed, diluted squash or diluted fruit juice.

I think it would be advisable to give yourself an easier day tomorrow, unless you get up feeling really well and raring to go.

But I'm not a doctor...


----------



## steveindenmark (27 Nov 2013)

Forget the cycling and forget going into work.

Something that really bugs me is colleagues who have been sick coming back to work before they should, and giving me their illness.

Steve


----------



## Linford (27 Nov 2013)

Drink lots of fluids, and seriously...don't take it into work with you.
Don't bother with the Imodium type pills. they paralyse the gut, and you really need to let the bugs be worked out of your system.
Go get some of those Yakault type live Yogurt drinks to re balance your gut as well.


----------



## welsh dragon (27 Nov 2013)

Stay away from work. Your colleagues won't thank you if they get montezumas revenge.


----------



## uclown2002 (27 Nov 2013)

MTFU and get to work you lazy so and so


----------



## Trevrev (27 Nov 2013)

steveindenmark said:


> Forget the cycling and forget going into work.
> 
> Something that really bugs me is colleagues who have been sick coming back to work before they should, and giving me their illness.
> 
> Steve


That all depends on whether the company you work for pay you for being off sick. I've been to work in some right states, because i can't afford to lose money.


----------



## steveindenmark (27 Nov 2013)

So going to work and making your colleagues sick so they don't get paid, is ok then? 

Steve


----------



## Trevrev (27 Nov 2013)

steveindenmark said:


> So going to work and making your colleagues sick so they don't get paid, is ok then?
> 
> Steve


That's fine, because they're the ones that passed it to me!


----------



## slowmotion (27 Nov 2013)

Kaolin and morphine mixture..


----------



## ColinJ (27 Nov 2013)

steveindenmark said:


> So going to work and making your colleagues sick so they don't get paid, is ok then?
> 
> Steve


Long ago ... One of my colleagues was ranting about the fact that another colleague had phoned in sick after 3 days of coming in with an horrendous cough. Basically, according to his way of thinking, if your legs didn't buckle when you got out of bed, you should come to work. Over the next few days, half the office went down with the bug that the martyr had been coughing over us!


----------



## slowmotion (27 Nov 2013)

User13710 said:


> That's fine if you're happy to buy and eat a painkiller and some clay.


It's not particularly appetizing, but it's amazingly effective. Opiates have a very powerful constipating effect, and the kaolin bulks up the contents of the bowels.


----------



## uphillstruggler (27 Nov 2013)

i have the same thing, not good but on the mend. first day of sick I have taken in 5 years - I hate being ill!

I am eating dextro energy tablets just to give me some energy. may have to go and get some greek yoghurt to sort the gut out.


----------



## raised by puffins (27 Nov 2013)

I'm suffering the opposite at the moment, I havent been for four days now. I've already had 5 sachets of Laxido today and not so much as a parp. Its no fun sitting on the lav with your fingernails embedded in your kneecaps and deliriously imagining all the personal luxuries you would gladly forfeit there and then for the pain to stop. I'm hoping that further compaction will at least lead to the freakish formation of bum diamonds and so provide some recompense for the agony I'm going to have to endure upon their eventual delivery. Hope this makes you feel better Easytigers.


----------



## Easytigers (27 Nov 2013)

uphillstruggler said:


> i have the same thing, not good but on the mend. first day of sick I have taken in 5 years - I hate being ill!
> 
> I am eating dextro energy tablets just to give me some energy. may have to go and get some greek yoghurt to sort the gut out.


GWS! I hate being off as well...yesterday was a bit of a haze but today I'm just bored!


----------



## Easytigers (27 Nov 2013)

raised by puffins said:


> I'm suffering the opposite at the moment, I havent been for four days now. I've already had 5 sachets of Laxido today and not so much as a parp. Its no fun sitting on the lav with your fingernails embedded in your kneecaps and deliriously imagining all the personal luxuries you would gladly forfeit there and then for the pain to stop. I'm hoping that further compaction will at least lead to the freakish formation of bum diamonds and so provide some recompense for the agony I'm going to have to endure upon their eventual delivery. Hope this makes you feel better Easytigers.


Actually that has pepped me up! Feel really bad for you...hopefully over soon for you (and painless...wince!)


----------



## Spinney (27 Nov 2013)

User13710 said:


> Noooo! Keep away from milk and fruit juices! The advice I had from a GP when I had gastro-enteritis was to drink water or flat coca-cola, and if I had an appetite to eat nothing but mashed potato, plain white boiled rice, and hard-boiled eggs.


Well the NHS need to get their act together then. My info came from here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/dehydration/Pages/treatment.aspx


----------



## fossyant (27 Nov 2013)

OK that's enough talk of movements or not.


----------



## Spinney (27 Nov 2013)

User13710 said:


> That's to treat dehydration, not D&V


Yup, and it followed me warning him not to get dehydrated. I didn't say I was giving advice about how to stop it all leaving at the other end.


----------



## Maverick Goose (27 Nov 2013)

!


----------



## raised by puffins (27 Nov 2013)

Yep, avoiding dairy and fruit is Squits101. Whenever my guts are in such turmoil I subscribe to a regime of only water and toast until my vengeful backside stops performing like some poisonous Karcher Jet Washer. Usually a couple or three days sorts it out for me.


----------



## cyberknight (27 Nov 2013)

ColinJ said:


> Long ago ... One of my colleagues was ranting about the fact that another colleague had phoned in sick after 3 days of coming in with an horrendous cough. Basically, according to his way of thinking, if your legs didn't buckle when you got out of bed, you should come to work. Over the next few days, half the office went down with the bug that the martyr had been coughing over us!


That my companies standard practise, your supposed to see their own medical staff who will dish out pills although i firmly believe in the 
"if i can cycle in to work i am well enough " , if i am running to the loo every 10 minutes or as in the last case of absence i am having to take painkillers that make me drowsy and i am still crying with pain then i am not coming to work.


----------



## smokeysmoo (27 Nov 2013)

Cornflour, it'll thicken it up nicely


----------



## welsh dragon (27 Nov 2013)

smokeysmoo said:


> Cornflour, it'll thicken it up nicely


 
And what do you do with that ? Do you eat it or slapp it on your backside ? lol


----------



## Cuchilo (27 Nov 2013)

User13710 said:


> Noooo! Keep away from milk and fruit juices! The advice I had from a GP when I had gastro-enteritis was to drink water or flat coca-cola, and if I had an appetite to eat nothing but mashed potato, plain white boiled rice, and hard-boiled eggs.



Oh its ok for a GP to give that advice on their fancy pants wages but some of us cant afford to eat as well as they do


----------



## chugsy (27 Nov 2013)

cyberknight said:


> That my companies standard practise, your supposed to see their own medical staff who will dish out pills although i firmly believe in the
> "if i can cycle in to work i am well enough " , if i am running to the loo every 10 minutes or as in the last case of absence i am having to take painkillers that make me drowsy and i am still crying with pain then i am not coming to work.


I remember that well... 1 sick day in four years and never appreciated - that was a mega flu that circulated around the group area because no one dared to stay off work :\ Japanese work culture I suppose. OHC was a pill pushing joke.

In my 2nd year some poor chap blew off his finger cutting corners with spot welder tip changes - first thing management says is "his fault - no compensation" at break time.


----------



## slowmotion (28 Nov 2013)

raised by puffins said:


> I'm suffering the opposite at the moment, I havent been for four days now. I've already had 5 sachets of Laxido today and not so much as a parp. Its no fun sitting on the lav with your fingernails embedded in your kneecaps and deliriously imagining all the personal luxuries you would gladly forfeit there and then for the pain to stop. I'm hoping that further compaction will at least lead to the freakish formation of bum diamonds and so provide some recompense for the agony I'm going to have to endure upon their eventual delivery. Hope this makes you feel better Easytigers.


For the love of God, don't seek prescribed laxatives. After a course of opiate analgesics last year, I was clogged up for about five days and asked Matron for help. Not a smart thing to do.
Have you ever sat on a WC pan in a six person ward, with a grille at the bottom (Ha!) of the door while the drug takes hold? They listened to endless, and increasingly desiccated sound effects for seven hours. I emerged from the privy with "a thousand yard stare".


----------



## raised by puffins (28 Nov 2013)

slowmotion said:


> For the love of God, don't seek prescribed laxatives. After a course of opiate analgesics last year, I was clogged up for about five days and asked Matron for help. Not a smart thing to do.
> Have you ever sat on a WC pan in a six person ward, with a grille at the bottom (Ha!) of the door while the drug takes hold? They listened to endless, and increasingly desiccated sound effects for seven hours. I emerged from the privy with "a thousand yard stare".


No but as a distraction I thought I'd sit with my ipad on my lap and read some cafe threads but as the contractions intensified and the tears started to sluice down my then trembling cheeks all I could focus on was the bleary reflection of my contorted face staring back at me from a screen entitled "Lights. CREE XML T6" which I had been skimming in an attempt to defuse the agony radiating from my poor tattered bum. Needless to say it was all to no avail. Updates when they become available.


----------



## slowmotion (28 Nov 2013)

I'm sure you can get to the bottom of this problem....


----------



## Ghost Donkey (28 Nov 2013)

When the kids used to get diarrhea the doctor prescribed Dioralyte to help prevent dehydration. You can buy it over the counter. You need salts as well as water. You can make ow in theory but probably won't feel like it when you're ill. When Mrs Donkey had it earlier in the year she used some sports electrolyte tablets I had been given as a free sample which were sat in the cupboard.


----------



## Ghost Donkey (28 Nov 2013)

raised by puffins said:


> I'm suffering the opposite at the moment, I havent been for four days now. I've already had 5 sachets of Laxido today and not so much as a parp. Its no fun sitting on the lav with your fingernails embedded in your kneecaps and deliriously imagining all the personal luxuries you would gladly forfeit there and then for the pain to stop. I'm hoping that further compaction will at least lead to the freakish formation of bum diamonds and so provide some recompense for the agony I'm going to have to endure upon their eventual delivery. Hope this makes you feel better Easytigers.



Surely some kind of cesarean to end the suffering? Sorry.


----------



## Berties (28 Nov 2013)

the rule of thumb is do not return to work until 48 hours till the symptoms have past,so if it is viral your work colleagues do not catch it,there is a lot of norovirous about so be careful,keep safe and hydrated


----------



## tyred (28 Nov 2013)

I really wish I hadn't opened this thread. Has put me off my afternoon chocolate muffin.


----------



## cyberknight (28 Nov 2013)

chugsy said:


> I remember that well... 1 sick day in four years and never appreciated - that was a mega flu that circulated around the group area because no one dared to stay off work :\ Japanese work culture I suppose. OHC was a pill pushing joke.
> 
> In my 2nd year some poor chap blew off his finger cutting corners with spot welder tip changes - first thing management says is "his fault - no compensation" at break time.


If i were younger i would be looking elsewhere but currently if i cant get a job we are screwed as MrCK cant work full time due to her health issues .


----------



## chugsy (29 Nov 2013)

cyberknight said:


> If i were younger i would be looking elsewhere but currently if i cant get a job we are screwed as MrCK cant work full time due to her health issues .


That place is a bit of a trap - relatively good money (as long as the shifts and OT is there) for the unskilled. You get used to the dosh, get married, have kids and can't escape easily.... I have none of these so left to a job that paid £10K less - begrudgingly of course and after 6 years in IT I'm still nowhere near my leaving salary but I don't regret it - there's only so many times a guy can be blasted in the face and groin by a portable spot welder y'know!


----------

