# Why do peds always give you a mouthful?



## Matthew_T (18 Nov 2012)

I was just cycling along today minding my own business and a car overtakes me with no problem. Immediately after doing so, I notice the brake lights come on and a ped runs across the road infront of them.
Then a ped runs across the road in front of me and meets with the other ped. Both were grown men in 50's.

When the ped ran across infront of me, I said "Idiot" as I passed. I then heard the other ped say something so I pulled over at the next junction. The ped started walking towards me (he was a long way away) and I just decided to not bother getting into an arguement. As I cycled away, I noticed he flipped me the bird.
So I pulled over again. Now he is running towards me (still a long way away) and in the opposite direction to the way he was going originally. So I decided that if he is really that bothered, then I would make it worth him running after me.

So I then cycled away just as he was about 50 yards from me.  (Just to pee him off more)

In total, he had travelled about 80 metres by the time I went.


I have had peds give me a mouthful after walking out infront of me before. So what is it with these people? They always seem like the rough type who should know better.
I have had people tell me that I need to give way to peds and take care around them, but when they blatently disregard their own safety and yours and then give you a mouthful, then who is at fault?


----------



## zizou (18 Nov 2012)

Well he may have done something daft but you were the one to give him a mouthful with the idiot comment, he then reacted to that. 

Cant say i've had many pedestrians shout or say something negative towards me over the years, just not a big problem IME.


----------



## MrJamie (18 Nov 2012)

IMHO You're better off making it obvious that its impeded or worried you with a "woahhh" or "careful mate", than bluntly insulting someone calling them an idiot even if they are


----------



## Glow worm (18 Nov 2012)

What was that old saying again...

Never let your mouth write cheques your body can't cash!


----------



## gaz (18 Nov 2012)

I gave up reading at "so I pulled over at the next junction"

Just keep on pedalling.


----------



## Monsieur (18 Nov 2012)

Not being a hardened cyclist and in with it, like, whats a ped?


----------



## HLaB (18 Nov 2012)

Peds they don't, I can't remember of late a bad interaction with peds. I've had peds in the past where I thought idiot also but I've kept my thoughts to my self.


----------



## Andy_R (18 Nov 2012)

Although I disagree with calling people idiots in a situation like that, I do find it amusing that you took the time to make him run after you, in a sort of Dick Emery "Chase me chase me" manner. Very good Matthew!


----------



## mattobrien (18 Nov 2012)

It was odd, there is probably a threading a forum elsewhere asking why cyclists always give peds a mouthful?

Abusing someone, stopping and then bottling the argument...


----------



## mcshroom (18 Nov 2012)

Monsieur said:


> Not being a hardened cyclist and in with it, like, whats a ped?


Ped = pedestrian


----------



## addictfreak (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I was just cycling along today minding my own business!




I find that hard to believe


----------



## 400bhp (18 Nov 2012)

addictfreak said:


> I find that hard to believe


----------



## Matt1705 (18 Nov 2012)

I was cycling home from the shops last week, a group of kids (early teens I guess) were starting to cross the road on the other side. No need for me to slow down as there was loads of time, but one of the shouted very loudly at me "butt scratcher" 

:confused:


----------



## boydj (18 Nov 2012)

MrJamie said:


> IMHO You're better off making it obvious that its impeded or worried you with a "woahhh" or "careful mate", than bluntly insulting someone calling them an idiot even if they are


 
Correct. Just about anybody will react to an insult like that. Having said that, I've been sworn at more than once for saying 'Careful' to pedestrians who looked like they were about to walk out in front of me.


----------



## ufkacbln (18 Nov 2012)

AirZound, and make them dance the "Funky Pedestrian"


----------



## gbb (18 Nov 2012)

gaz said:


> I gave up reading at "so I pulled over at the next junction"
> 
> Just keep on pedalling.


 
I found myself wondering...(with all due respect Matthew)...why are you analysing it so much. Like gaz intimates (i assume) , its an incident thats something, but nothing. Ride on, don't overanalyse it, forget it. There's idiots on foot, on bikes and in cars. Ride on and enjoy what you do.


----------



## Paul99 (18 Nov 2012)

It wasn't the same bloke whose dog you ran over the other week was it?


----------



## HovR (18 Nov 2012)

gbb said:


> I found myself wondering...(with all due respect Matthew)...why are you analysing it so much. Like gaz intimates (i assume) , its an incident thats something, but nothing. Ride on, don't overanalyse it, forget it. There's idiots on foot, on bikes and in cars. Ride on and enjoy what you do.


 
Agreed. No need to analyse (and create a thread for) every minor incident.. Although I did find the bit where you made him run after you slightly amusing.


----------



## Cheshire Celt (18 Nov 2012)

Are you in the Guinness book of records for the most run ins in one year


----------



## Matthew_T (18 Nov 2012)

Paul99 said:


> It wasn't the same bloke whose dog you ran over the other week was it?


Haha, no.


----------



## totallyfixed (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew, you need to stay in more.


----------



## Matthew_T (18 Nov 2012)

Cheshire Celt said:


> Are you in the Guinness book of records for the most run ins in one year


I do find it slightly odd that I get this many incidents. I cannot find anything wrong with my cycling or even my attitude (in most cases).

Just to put the facts out there; since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents. These vary from pedestrians, to cyclists, to car drivers. They vary in severity and most are close passes, must pass cyclist or minor incidents. However, I do have a few hundred serious or close calls regarding SMIDSY's, very close passes, left hooks, etc.
I do find this very strange compared to people who cycle in cities or worst places that NW.

I have over analysed things again havent I?


----------



## potsy (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I cannot find anything wrong with my cycling or even my attitude (in most cases).
> 
> since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents.


 
Look a bit harder Matthew


----------



## Rob3rt (18 Nov 2012)

Another load of cobblers from Mr incident!


----------



## Brandane (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents.


 
I would get shot of the Contour. It is obviously a magnet for trouble .


----------



## ianrauk (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents.


 
That is completely insane.  But unfortunately comes as no surprise.

I would be lucky to have that many incidents in all of my 46 years of life to date and until I pop my cycling clogs.

Methinks you should throw the camera away, stop trying to change the world and just go out and enjoy your cycling. 1500 incidents means you are clearly not doing so.


----------



## Brandane (18 Nov 2012)

ianrauk said:


> Methinks you should throw the camera away


 
Ahaa; so a contour is a camera? I thought it was a new bike . Anyway, be careful out there Matthew, as you have been advised countless times. Don't want you coming on here posting about one of these >>> .


----------



## Hip Priest (18 Nov 2012)

I'm sorry to say, a lot of these occurances only become incidents because you escalate them unnecessarily.


----------



## Rob3rt (18 Nov 2012)

Two thing's have just come to mind whilst ponding the imponderable (general brain chatter whilst taking a wazz):

1) When you were applying for college, you created another thread full of shite, where they apparently advised you not to cycle. Had you mentioned to them you use a helmet camera and possibly linked them to your youtube (or that they found it some other way), because that would explain a LOT.

2) You keep posting these video's and then stating, how you like to hear opinions and how you include the advice in your cycling to avoid future incidents. Yet, you continue to post up similarly non-incident incidents. Something is not adding up!


----------



## Pat "5mph" (18 Nov 2012)

Cycling life must be extremely exciting in North Wales!
In a year of cycling everywhere got shouted at just twice, both times by taxi drivers, so no great surprise there


----------



## cyberknight (18 Nov 2012)

Hip Priest said:


> I'm sorry to say, a lot of these occurances only become incidents because you escalate them unnecessarily.


I concur , always seems to me that you always take things to personaly and maybe your lack of maturity lets your heart rule your head.I speak from experience here, in my time i have been very hot headed and never took anything form anyone but it only got me into more trouble than it was worth.
Maybe you need to take a step back , count to 10 and ask before you escalate if anything positive will come of it ?
I am not for one instant saying show the other cheek, know your rights and stand by them but just think .


----------



## TheDoctor (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I was just cycling along today minding my own business and a car overtakes me with no problem. Immediately after doing so, I notice the brake lights come on and a ped runs across the road infront of them.
> Then a ped runs across the road in front of me and meets with the other ped. Both were grown men in 50's.
> 
> When the ped ran across infront of me, I said "Idiot" as I passed. I then heard the other ped say something so I pulled over at the next junction. The ped started walking towards me (he was a long way away) and I just decided to not bother getting into an arguement. As I cycled away, I noticed he flipped me the bird.
> ...


 
I know, you call people idiots then they just give you a load of abuse.
How about not starting it? How would that work, do you think?


----------



## coffeejo (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Just to put the facts out there; since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents.


Stop. Counting!


----------



## Rob3rt (18 Nov 2012)

Car Crash Spectacle

Those are the three word's I would use to describe Matthew (and his threads). When you see a Matthew_T thread, you know it is going to be a shoot tip before you open it, but you just have to open it and respond! It's like having tickets to the car crash, you know it's going to be shoot, but you can't let those tickets go to waste and there is always that teensy chance you might enjoy it, however unlikely that is!


----------



## TheDoctor (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I do find it slightly odd that I get this many incidents. I cannot find anything wrong with my cycling or even my attitude (in most cases).
> 
> Just to put the facts out there; since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents.


 
1500 incidents? In well under a year?
Gotta ask - what's the common factor in all this?
You might not see anything wrong with your cycling or your attitude, but others clearly do...


----------



## Trail Child (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I have over analysed things again havent I?



Yes.


----------



## RWright (18 Nov 2012)

That is only like what? Six or so incidents a day during that time?  I have maybe one or two incidents a month. I don't put in the same miles however.


----------



## gaz (18 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Just to put the facts out there; since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents.


I've not even had 1/3 of that in 3 years and 15,000 miles of cycling in central london :/


----------



## TheDoctor (18 Nov 2012)

Don't think I've had that many ever, and I've been doing a few thousand miles a year since I was 16.


----------



## chewy (18 Nov 2012)

Matt1705 said:


> I was cycling home from the shops last week, a group of kids (early teens I guess) were starting to cross the road on the other side. No need for me to slow down as there was loads of time, but one of the shouted very loudly at me "butt scratcher"
> 
> :confused:


 

This may not have been aimed at you specifically, as this is a popular feature of several episodes of 'FAMILY GUY'.

As far as I can remember it has no link to cycling!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Butt Scratcher


----------



## Matthew_T (18 Nov 2012)

These incidents are not serious ones! The majority of which are very minor and often I overlook them know.

Everyone seems to be living in the past. I have grown out of responding to everyone who I 'think' passes me too closely. I am analysing my own opinions a lot more and being very critical.
In the past few months I have had very few incidents whereas at the start of the year, I was considering everyone who overtook me to be a lunatic who is out to kill me. (However I stand by the beleif that the guy who drove right at me a few days ago through a pinch point was aiming for me).

I currently actually have very few incidents and often the ones that I do catalogue are just RLJ's or DWL overtakes. I rarely post a thread on here about incidents now. This one is about pedestrians who cross the road with no regard for anyone else and then give you a mouthful about it.
TBH I am very careful about things that I upload as well. Mainly because I only have 10 mins worth of upload a month which I like to just put into a compilation at the end to sum things up.

The camera is not the problem. When my old one broke, I still found that I had the same amount of incidents. Things are getting better and when I get my new bike next year, I am going to be heading into the hills a lot more so I am going to be concentrating on my health more than my safety then.


----------



## redcard (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> ...This one is about pedestrians who cross the road with no regard for anyone else and then give you a mouthful about it.



This one is about cyclists who give pedestrians a mouthful of abuse cos the way they crossed the road slightly inconvenienced them.


----------



## Silver Fox (19 Nov 2012)

Sometimes, a still tongue is a wise head young Matthew.


----------



## 400bhp (19 Nov 2012)

Can we have a separate subforum called "Matthew_T MisHaps" or sommat.


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I was just cycling along today minding my own business and a car overtakes me with no problem. Immediately after doing so, I notice the brake lights come on and a ped runs across the road infront of them.
> Then a ped runs across the road in front of me and meets with the other ped. Both were grown men in 50's.
> 
> When the ped ran across infront of me, I said "Idiot" as I passed. I then heard the other ped say something so I pulled over at the next junction?


 
That was not a pedestrian responding to a cyclist it was a middle aged man responding to a lippy kid who insulted him.

*You REALLY do need to learn how to interact with strangers.*

I know your aspergers makes it difficult, but going around insulting people WILL get you hurt.

This is one example, the time you mouthed off to the driver who cut a corner without causing anyone any inconvenience or danger was another.

*Sooner or later someone WILL hit you.*

You need to learn how to make your point in a firm but non aggressive way. 

In this instance: "Look where you are going please" or "Be more careful please" would have communicated in a non confrontational way.


----------



## Scruffmonster (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> These incidents are not serious ones! The majority of which are very minor and often I overlook them know.
> 
> The camera is not the problem. When my old one broke, I still found that I had the same amount of incidents.


 
I'd suspected for the longest time that you may be the creation of some weird internet troll, garnering attention through contentious issues. I still like to believe that as I don't like to think that a real person could churn out such mind numbingly stupid nonsense.

In this instance, you called someone an idiot, then asked why peds always give you a mouthful. That's retarded. YOU were the insulting person. YOU were the person running away from someone who clearly doesn't like being called an idiot by some random kid on a bike.

Grow up.


----------



## 400bhp (19 Nov 2012)

You know that feeling when you just want to shake someone and give them a slap across the face. 

This thread....


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Scruffmonster said:


> I'd suspected for the longest time that you may be the creation of some weird internet troll, garnering attention through contentious issues. I still like to believe that as I don't like to think that a real person could churn out such mind numbingly stupid nonsense.
> 
> In this instance, you called someone an idiot, then asked why peds always give you a mouthful. That's retarded. YOU were the insulting person. YOU were the person running away from someone who clearly doesn't like being called an idiot by some random kid on a bike.
> 
> Grow up.


 
Difficult to argue with any of that, but go gently on Matthew he is Autistic/Aspergers and while your criticism of his behaviour is valid, he needs educating more than criticising.


----------



## Scruffmonster (19 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> Difficult to argue with any of that, but go gently on Matthew he is Autistic/Aspergers and while your criticism of his behaviour is valid, he needs educating more than criticising.


 
Apologies, I didn't know that he had a medical condition that causes him to act this way.


----------



## glasgowcyclist (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> When the ped ran across infront of me, I said "Idiot" as I passed.


 
You've just answered the question in your thread title.

And if you still had any doubt:



> So I then cycled away just as he was about 50 yards from me.  (Just to pee him off more)


 



> So what is it with these people?


 
I'll bet he was wondering the same thing.



> They always seem like the rough type who should know better.


 
You should know better, you've been involved in enough confrontations.

I know someone has mentioned you need to be cut some slack because you have Asperger's, and that's fine on here where people are likely to be aware of that, but out on the street you need to adjust your behaviour because the next person you give abuse might not wait to hear that you have this.

GC


----------



## Big boy (19 Nov 2012)

Monsieur said:


> Not being a hardened cyclist and in with it, like, whats a ped?


 im presuming pedestrian, around here a ped is a moped.


----------



## Accy cyclist (19 Nov 2012)

Buzz them as safely as is possible for you! I know some on here consider buzzing dosey pedestrians as a crime but it teaches them to look out for further cyclist, and for that car or van that wont just bruise them if it makes contact. If they're getting on a bit or blind for example then they have an excuse, but dosey chavs on their bloody mobiles can see you, they just consider cyclists as insignificant, and "something that wont hurt me if it hits me".


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

Scruffmonster said:


> Apologies, I didn't know that he had a *medical* condition that causes him to act this way.


It doesnt. And it isnt medical.

Autism might indirectly affect me (reading out numberplates and noticing more than the average person would), but it doesnt affect the way I act on the roads. That is down to my personality.
I am very opinionated which can seem like a disadvantage on the roads. People have told me that if I am going to say something to someone, then I need to back it up when they confront me. Not necessarily, why should things decrease into animalistic behaviour? Saying something to someone does no harm. It is the morons among us that 'act out of nature' and feel that it is a confrontation.

In the case of this thread, what I said was not confrontational. However, the ped acted like an imbocile and just seemed like the type who doesnt understand the concept of disapproving someones actions.
I wasnt even talking to him anyway as he wasnt the one who inconvenienced me. There is nothing wrong with speaking to people the way I do. I am rarely agressive and it shouldnt be seen as a confrontation.

That fact is though is that there are idiots out there who will react in this way. People need to understand that not everything someone says is to instigate physical confrontation. By allowing themselves to react that way, they are just agreeing that they are idiots who dont know any better.


----------



## Mugshot (19 Nov 2012)

I had a ped walk out on me a day or so ago, I had just pulled out from a junction and could see an old lady dithering on the other side of the road, then she stepped out and started to cross. I stopped pedaling which gave her plenty of time to get across safely. As she got to my side she finally looked in my direction and saw me freewheeling along.
"Oh, I'm ever so sorry," she said,
Well I wasn't having that, so I jumped off the bike and pushed her into the hedge, the police turned up and told me to get back in my caravan.......hang on, am I getting threads mixed up here?


----------



## green1 (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> In the case of this thread, what I said was not confrontational.





Matthew_T said:


> When the ped ran across infront of me, I said "Idiot" as I passed.


Make your mind up.


----------



## glasgowcyclist (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> In the case of this thread, what I said was not confrontational. ... There is nothing wrong with speaking to people the way I do.


 
Are you having a laugh?



> People need to understand that not everything someone says is to instigate physical confrontation. By allowing themselves to react that way, they are just agreeing that they are idiots who dont know any better.


 
And you need to understand that your behaviour is likely to get you a slap from some 'idiot'. When you're lying on the ground don't forget to shout after him that calling him an idiot wasn't intended to instigate physical conforntation.


GC


----------



## Robson3022 (19 Nov 2012)

Weather you like it or not calling him an "idiot" will get the reaction you got. Then teasing him by letting him catch up a little and pedaling off is only going to cause you problems. Why not just keep riding?

What would you have done if he had jumped in his car/mates car and caught up with you and give you a good thumping?

It certainly wouldn't be deserved but why instigate this behaviour?

My advice would be lighten up a little and don't let this or lots of the other incidents bother you.


----------



## Scruffmonster (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> It doesnt. And it isnt medical.
> 
> Autism might indirectly affect me (reading out numberplates and noticing more than the average person would), but it doesnt affect the way I act on the roads. That is down to my personality.
> I am very opinionated which can seem like a disadvantage on the roads. People have told me that if I am going to say something to someone, then I need to back it up when they confront me. Not necessarily, why should things decrease into animalistic behaviour? Saying something to someone does no harm. It is the morons among us that 'act out of nature' and feel that it is a confrontation.
> ...


 
Apologies for the broad brush term. I'd paint many conditions as medical and probably could have used a different term. Though if you deem that autism doesn't affect how you behave and that's 'Just your personality' then you need to read a whole lot more. I mean that sincerely.

I still have a loosely held belief that you're at least 50% troll on here.

The point you fail to realise is that you're judging everyone else by your own twisted set of rules. It's not a case of you being better than someone when you call them an idiot for something low ball and they respond by hitting you. You would BOTH be in the wrong.

Matthew, in the simplest of terms, you can't expect to go around calling people an idiot and then trying to claim the moral high ground. You say that you're 'rarely' aggressive... You're _ALWAYS_ aggressive.

Stop shouting at people. Just stop it. Ask yourself this; Does it make you happy to insult people? I really hope not as it's just not cool.


----------



## Arch (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> *Not necessarily, why should things decrease into animalistic behaviour?* Saying something to someone does no harm. It is the morons among us that 'act out of nature' and feel that it is a confrontation.


 
Um, because we are animals, perhaps?

You're contratdicting yourself there: saying that reacting with violence is animalistic, but then saying that it's the morons that act 'out of nature'. 'Nature' is how animals act.

There is nothing 'out of nature' in reacting to being insulted. It's not reacting that is the unnatural trait, I'd say, the thing that elevates most of us 'above' animals (although I'd hesitate to place the human race as a whole higher than the rest of the animal kingdom).

Most people don't like to make mistakes. Pointing out that they have done so, especially rudely, embarrasses them. Many people react to embarrassment with anger to try and direct the fault away from themselves. This is what you're finding out. 

I find the best way to vent your feelings when someone annoys you is under your breath or in your head. You can be as rude as you like about them, imagine all sorts of clever insults and guesses about their personal characteristics, and lay imaginative curses on their heads. By the time you've done all that, you've probably forgotten just what they did in the first place, and you can move on.


----------



## Hicky (19 Nov 2012)

You have either a lot of growing up to do or a lot of defending yourself to do.
Either keep your opinions to yourself a little more or join a boxing gym because that someone sometime who is next called an idiot will not be so understanding.


----------



## Cyclopathic (19 Nov 2012)

Try to imagine the situation from the other persons perspective. Play it through in your head with your roles swapped around and see if you still feel exactly the same way about it?


----------



## Darren Jeffrey (19 Nov 2012)

Everyone makes mistakes, doesn't make them idiots. We are all fallible human beings. 

It seems to me (from reading your posts) that you may secretly crave confrontation. Again not necessarily a bad thing but it may end up physical one day and I guess the question is could you go toe to toe with someone that takes major offence to being called an idiot?

Better to just ignore it and enjoy your day a bit more. Confrontation almost never ends in you going away thinking I'm glad I done that


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Cyclopathic said:


> *Try to imagine the situation from the other persons perspective.* Play it through in your head with your roles swapped around and see if you still feel exactly the same way about it?


 
That is exactly the problem most autistic/aspergers adults have and Matthew exemplifies - they have a very poor 'Theory of mind' ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind )and cannot put them selves in the other person's position


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

Okay I now know how it feels to have someone act the way I acted towads me.

I had a guy pass me too close and I tooted my horn. He pulled over and threatened to run me over. I managed to avoid him but I was still contemplating this thread and opinions about my actions. I didnt say anything abusive towards him at all.


----------



## potsy (19 Nov 2012)

1501


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Okay I now know how it feels to have someone act the way I acted towads me.
> 
> I had a guy pass me too close and I tooted my horn. He pulled over and threatened to run me over. I managed to avoid him but I was still contemplating this thread and opinions about my actions. I didnt say anything abusive towards him at all.


 
In many of your videos you sound your horn AFTER the event not when another vehicle poses a danger - you are aggressive in the way you use it.

If you were a driver you would be breaching the code,




> #The Highway Code - Rule 92
> The horn. Use only while your vehicle is moving and you need to warn other road users of your presence.* Never sound your horn aggressively.*
> You MUST NOT use your horn
> while stationary on the road
> ...


----------



## Rob3rt (19 Nov 2012)

An observation, given that you usually post here to get "opinions" on your actions, then I tend to believe that you yourself are not wholly convinced of your actions being particularly righteous even when you tend to say you were in the right and thus want someone to affirm that you were in the right. All because you have a nagging feeling that you were in the wrong. I know this feeling well, being the sort of person (much more in the past than the present) who would "occasionally" get into a confrontation or even a bit of fisticuffs over some absolutely innocuous events. What I have come to realise is that, that nagging feeling of not being quite so in the right, given the benefit of hindsight and the clearing of the red mist is basically a sign that you know you were not in the right in the 1st place. I can not recall one single incident where I have been involved in a confrontation, verbal or physical where I felt good about it following the event! Learn to stfu, it can be hard, especially if you are prone to blowing up (which I don't think is the case with you), but work at it!


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

Rob3rt said:


> An observation, given that you usually post here to get "opinions" on your actions, then I tend to believe that you yourself are not wholly convinced of your actions being particularly righteous even when you tend to say you were in the right and thus want someone to affirm that you were in the right. All because you have a nagging feeling that you were in the wrong. I know this feeling well, being the sort of person (much more in the past than the present) who would "occasionally" get into a confrontation or even a bit of fisticuffs over some absolutely innocuous events. What I have come to realise is that, that nagging feeling of not being quite so in the right, given the benefit of hindsight and the clearing of the red mist is basically a sign that you know you were not in the right in the 1st place. I can not recall one single incident where I have been involved in a confrontation, verbal or physical where I felt good about it following the event!


The fact is that I dont feel like I am in the wrong, but I know that something that I did was wrong. Normally it is the fact that I react to people.

In the ped case, I reacted to him crossing infront of me. I then reacted to him shouting something and running after me.
In the case of today, I reacted to him passing me too closely. I then reacted to him telling me to get out of the middle of the road. And then I reacted to him shouting at me again.

It is always my reaction which instigates the situation. And I find it really hard to bite my tongue. This is probably (as has been said before) because I have my own view of the world and a bold view of right and wrong. My views are actually normally the correct ones but I just dont consider that what is right might not be someone elses view. And me reacting to them they see as wrong and confrontational.


----------



## Scruffmonster (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> My views are actually normally the correct ones


 
NO


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> . My views are actually normally the correct ones .


 
*IN YOUR OPINION* - and one is often not the best judge of whether ones own view is correct as one only has part of the picture.


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> *IN YOUR OPINION* - and one is often not the best judge of whether ones own view is correct as one only has part of the picture.


True.

I guess it is just the problem of maturity. As a young person I have a lot to say for myself. I often feel that what I have to say is important and as a result, talk a lot. This comes out worst on the roads.
It will come with age that I will learn to ignore things. I have improved greatly over the past few years and dont react too much now.


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> True.
> 
> I guess it is just the problem of maturity. As a young person I have a lot to say for myself. I often feel that what I have to say is important and as a result, talk a lot. This comes out worst on the roads.
> It will come with age that I will learn to ignore things. I have improved greatly over the past few years and dont react too much now.


 
My god, what were you like a few years ago????

In all honesty, if i did not know of your aspergers I would want to give you a good slapping myself. You come across on your videos, and many of the posts on here as far too gobbyand self rightous for your own good


----------



## 4F (19 Nov 2012)

Keep riding, take your horn off, keep you gob shut. Simples


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

4F said:


> Keep riding, take your horn off, keep you gob shut. Simples


Nicely put. I just need to remember that when out now.


----------



## 4F (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Nicely put. I just need to remember that when out now.


 
I have had my run in with a few nutters in the past and honestly it is just not worth it as all that happened is that I would get wound up, life is too short.


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Nicely put. I just need to remember that when out now.


 
You have said that, or similar, many times here: this time DO IT!


----------



## endoman (19 Nov 2012)

by some gaffa tape, put one large piece over the camera lens, another over the horn, and the remaining around your mouth. Breathing through your nose will come easy with practice.


----------



## Scruffmonster (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> True.
> 
> I guess it is just the problem of maturity. As a young person I have a lot to say for myself. I often feel that what I have to say is important and as a result, talk a lot. This comes out worst on the roads.
> It will come with age that I will learn to ignore things. I have improved greatly over the past few years and dont react too much now.


 
You're younger than your years I feel. Just checked out one of your videos. 'The Dangers of Cycling'... You are very very bad at this.

I always try to lend advice to those in need but you're beyond saving by the looks of it. I hope that the angry young man that you greet the world with learns how to calm down soon for your own good. Until then, there's the ignore button.


----------



## gavroche (19 Nov 2012)

There is nothing wrong with having your own opinions and knowing what is right and wrong. Too many people behave like sheep in this country and dare not express themselves through fear of upsetting somebody or the masses. Keep being your own man with your own personality Matthew. If others don't like it, at least you can keep your head high and think: "I am not a sheep and I won't be dictated what to think or do".


----------



## Cyclopathic (19 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> That is exactly the problem most autistic/aspergers adults have and Matthew exemplifies - they have a very poor 'Theory of mind' ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind )and cannot put them selves in the other person's position


Perhaps there are ways that empathy can be encouraged and nurtured. Where most people develop empathy naturally through their interactions with people, perhaps there are ways that other people can conciously develop it.


----------



## PK99 (19 Nov 2012)

gavroche said:


> There is nothing wrong with having your own opinions and knowing what is right and wrong. Too many people behave like sheep in this country and dare not express themselves through fear of upsetting somebody or the masses. Keep being your own man with your own personality Matthew. If others don't like it, at least you can keep your head high and think: "I am not a sheep and I won't be dictated what to think or do".


 
having your own opinions is a good thing. knowing right from wrong is even better.

Encouraging Matthew to continue behaving (insulting strangers directly and in public) as he does, is in my opinion, a very wrong thing to do. If he does, he will get hurt.


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

I am off the bike for most of the week now so it might give me some time to think about things. Also, I am in London on Thurs and Fri so I will get a chance to see what cycling there is like.


----------



## gavroche (19 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> having your own opinions is a good thing. knowing right from wrong is even better.
> .


That is what my comment is about. Insulting other people is a "wrong thing" and I was not advocating that sort of behaviour.


----------



## fossyant (19 Nov 2012)

4F said:


> Keep riding, take your horn off, keep you gob shut. Simples



Camera too, leave it at home. Put all that excess testosterone into forward motion, ride faster and enjoy it.


----------



## Matthew_T (19 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> Encouraging Matthew to continue behaving (insulting strangers directly and in public) as he does, is in my opinion, a very wrong thing to do. If he does, he will get hurt.


I dont think that was what gav was saying. He was just pointing out that people get into a repetitive motion which is often caused by following the actions of others. He wasnt condoning my behaviour, he was just saying that he supports me not following other peoples actions.


----------



## 4F (19 Nov 2012)

fossyant said:


> Camera too, leave it at home. Put all that excess testosterone into forward motion, ride faster and enjoy it.


Yep agreed


----------



## redcard (19 Nov 2012)

Matthew, is there any possibility of getting in touch with the council and asking them to build you your own road?

Or even a merry-go-round for your bike. You wouldn't even have to pedal.


----------



## Deleted member 20519 (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Saying something to someone does no harm.


 
This isn't true. Remember that self inflicted incident with the driver who cut the corner? If you hadn't said anything, you wouldn't have nearly been assaulted and I'm surprised you weren't. One day, someone with no patience is gonna come along and punch you square in the face. I hope that doesn't happen, but it will.


----------



## Deleted member 20519 (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> The fact is that I dont feel like I am in the wrong, but I know that something that I did was wrong. Normally it is the fact that I react to people.
> 
> In the ped case, I reacted to him crossing infront of me. I then reacted to him shouting something and running after me.
> In the case of today, I reacted to him passing me too closely. I then reacted to him telling me to get out of the middle of the road. And then I reacted to him shouting at me again.
> ...


 
Well you didn't have to call him an idiot, sure, walking out into traffic isn't the wisest thing to do but saying things like that is going to bring you more harm than good. I've had people walk out in front of me, I never shout at them - at most I say 'woaaah' and they tend to just say sorry.


----------



## PK99 (20 Nov 2012)

Cyclopathic said:


> Perhaps there are ways that empathy can be encouraged and nurtured. Where most people develop empathy naturally through their interactions with people, perhaps there are ways that other people can conciously develop it.


 
it is not empathy or identification with anotheter emotion/viewpoint that is missing it is more fundamental than that - a real hard wired inability to realise that other people have a different perspective. I know someone in their 50's who is completely blind to such things.


----------



## markharry66 (20 Nov 2012)

Word of very strong advice while in london Matthew. Keep the attitude in check. And the mouth.
Enjoy London but behave


----------



## mr_hippo (20 Nov 2012)

I and I am sure that others are sick of you banging on about Asperger's, asparagus or aspidistras and you trot this out as a weak excuse when, in fact, you know what you are doing! From your opening post

_When the ped ran across infront of me, I said "Idiot" as I passed. I then heard the other ped say something *so I pulled over at the next junction*. The ped started walking towards me (he was a long way away) and I just decided to not bother getting into an arguement. As I cycled away, I noticed he flipped me the bird._
_*So I pulled over again*. Now he is running towards me (still a long way away) and in the opposite direction to the way he was going originally. So I decided that if he is really that bothered, *then I would make it worth him running after me.*_
_So I then cycled away just as he was about 50 yards from me. *(Just to pee him off more)*_
So you knew the things to do to provoke a reaction, why do you do it?


----------



## Mugshot (20 Nov 2012)

mr_hippo said:


> I and I am sure that others are sick of you banging on about Asperger's, asparagus or aspidistras and you trot this out as a weak excuse when, in fact, you know what you are doing!


 
Did you miss this post or just choose to ignore it for the sake of a cheap shot mr_hippo?



Matthew_T said:


> It doesnt. And it isnt medical.
> 
> Autism might indirectly affect me (reading out numberplates and noticing more than the average person would), but it doesnt affect the way I act on the roads. That is down to my personality.


----------



## Robson3022 (20 Nov 2012)

> There is nothing wrong with having your own opinions and knowing what is right and wrong. Too many people behave like sheep in this country and dare not express themselves through fear of upsetting somebody or the masses. Keep being your own man with your own personality Matthew. If others don't like it, at least you can keep your head high and think: "I am not a sheep and I won't be dictated what to think or do".


 
I hear what your saying here and agree to a degree. I feel I probably lead my life a bit like this. However when this leads you to get knocked off your bike by some lunatic or get a good thumping because you couldn't evaluate the situation correctly and know when its right to just let things go its a bit different.


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

I'm going to sum up my feelings on this thread by generating a series of simplistic sayings that probably won't help, I've written these just for you Matt:

Having strong opinions is a decent indicator of an interesting personality, but the ability to listen and change your own opinions is the true benchmark of intelligence.

These people don't know me; I don't want them to decide they do know me based on a few seconds of banter.

We're all just trying to get by in this world, sometimes we're right, sometimes we're wrong, neither times define us.

Other road users aren't always wrong, they're sometimes wrong, and when they're wrong it doesn't matter to me.

If someone steps in front of me I'm going to look concerned, then if I feel I must say something I'll ask if they're okay.

My happiness on the road is not generated by correcting others.

There are potholes in life, there are smooth bits of road, which makes you feel happiest? Which do you steer towards?



Please, and I'm being serious here, try running one of these phrases through your head when you feel annoyed with other road users. This is sort of cycling CBT, you sound like you get het up because of automatic negative thoughts, say these phases (in your head, doesn't have to be out loud) enough and when you get mufty they'll automatically pop into your head until the way you deal with these situations changes for the better.


----------



## 400bhp (20 Nov 2012)

Amen brother


----------



## 400bhp (20 Nov 2012)

Andrew_Culture said:


> Having strong opinions is a decent indicator of an interesting personality, but the ability to listen and change your own opinions is the true benchmark of intelligence.


 
No it's not.





Oh....bugger...


----------



## PK99 (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Autism might indirectly affect me (reading out numberplates and noticing more than the average person would), but it doesnt affect the way I act on the roads. That is down to my personality.


 

You heed to develop more insight into your condition:

*Personality* is the particular combination of emotional, attitudinal, and behavioral response patterns of an individual.

*Asperger syndrome* (AS), also known as *Asperger's syndrome* or *Asperger disorder*, is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction,

Aspergers is not determinant of personality but it is very influential.

The 18 year old son of a friend is  also on the asperger's spectrum, but has a very clear understanding of how it influences his behaviour but has a good circle for freinds his own age and has just started a degree in politics and international relations


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

400bhp said:


> No it's not.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 

Oh, maybe you're right


----------



## Sandra6 (20 Nov 2012)

I am going to try and remember atleast some of those things Andrew. 
Very well put.
In very general terms people with autism/aspergers related disorders don't have that bit of the brain that says "don't say that/don't do that" If it pops in their head it pops out their mouth, bit like a toddler. This could explain Matthew's need to point out other people's error of judgement all the time. 
I have no such excuse, I'm just bad tempered and easily irritated, so I'm trying to use the voice in my head more, rather than letting the words come out of my mouth. 
Matthew - you might do well to try the same.


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

Sandra6 said:


> I am going to try and remember atleast some of those things Andrew.
> Very well put.
> In very general terms people with autism/aspergers related disorders don't have that bit of the brain that says "don't say that/don't do that" If it pops in their head it pops out their mouth, bit like a toddler. This could explain Matthew's need to point out other people's error of judgement all the time.
> I have no such excuse, I'm just bad tempered and easily irritated, so I'm trying to use the voice in my head more, rather than letting the words come out of my mouth.
> Matthew - you might do well to try the same.


 
With five kids I think it's probably good for you to vent your frustrations, just peddle harder


----------



## Crankarm (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> I do find it slightly odd that I get this many incidents. I cannot find anything wrong with my cycling or even my attitude (in most cases).
> 
> Just to put the facts out there; since I got my Contour in March, I have had 1500 incidents. These vary from pedestrians, to cyclists, to car drivers. They vary in severity and most are close passes, must pass cyclist or minor incidents. However, I do have a few hundred serious or close calls regarding SMIDSY's, very close passes, left hooks, etc.
> I do find this very strange compared to people who cycle in cities or worst places that NW.
> ...


 
I think on reflection you are trolling again. How can some one have so many non incidents which you then tell everyone? On reflection you must realise your poor reaction only escalated them to potentially difficult and hostile confrontations.

Just seen the above reply that you have Aspergers. Is this how people with Aspergers interact with others?


----------



## Crankarm (20 Nov 2012)

Andrew_Culture said:


> With five kids I think it's probably good for you to vent your frustrations, just peddle harder


 
Pedal.


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

Crankarm said:


> Pedal.


----------



## Crankarm (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> The fact is that I dont feel like I am in the wrong, but I know that something that I did was wrong. Normally it is the fact that I react to people.
> 
> In the ped case, I reacted to him crossing infront of me. I then reacted to him shouting something and running after me.
> In the case of today, I reacted to him passing me too closely. I then reacted to him telling me to get out of the middle of the road. And then I reacted to him shouting at me again.
> ...


 
It's all very well feeling you are "right" the whole time and behaving accordingly, but it won't be worth anything if you are breathing through a straw or dead because some one has taken exception to you insulting them or winding them up however wronged you felt. Some times it's better to keep your mouth firmly closed rather than open it and confirm to the world you are a fool. Sometimes silence is the better course of action.


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

Crankarm said:


> It's all very well feeling you are "right" the whole time and behaving accordingly, but it won't be worth anything if you are breathing through a straw or dead because some one has taken exception to you insulting them or winding them up however wronged you felt. Some times it's better to keep your mouth firmly closed rather than open it and confirm to the world you are a fool. Sometimes silence is the better course of action.


 
Indeed, one of the most revelatory moments I had as a teenager was when I realised the world doesn't give a poopy what I think of it, and it will carry on regardless of my opinions, actions or rank odour.

It's a liberating thought.


----------



## Crankarm (20 Nov 2012)

Andrew_Culture said:


> Indeed, one of the most revelatory moments I had as a teenager was when I realised the world doesn't give a poopy what I think of it, and it will carry on regardless of my opinions, actions or rank odour.
> 
> It's a liberating thought.


 
Indeed it will whether you are in it or not. How does your advice help young Matthew? IMHO premature death would be rather inconvenient.


----------



## coffeejo (20 Nov 2012)

Crankarm said:


> Pedal.


Pedant


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

Crankarm said:


> Indeed it will whether you are in it or not. How does your advice help young Matthew? IMHO premature death would be rather inconvenient.


 
Help him? I think I added enough caveats to my post to make it clear I claim no ability to actually be useful!


----------



## Boris Bajic (20 Nov 2012)

This is a difficult thread to avoid. There is that Motorway-smash fascination which we all abhor but to which few are immune.

I've just realised I've been driving up and down the same stretch of (figurative) post-accident Motorway to gawp and gawp again at this chaos of twisted metal.

I should be ashamed of myself, but instead I'm going to add to it.

1. Matthew, it is not all about youth. I rode when I was younger than you are now, as did many other members of CC.

In a life spent cycling, driving, motorcycling and (briefly) truck-driving on the public highway, I'm not sure I've seen 1500 incidents.

I've certainly had fewer spats and verbal jousts with other road users in my whole motoring and cycling life than you've uploaded.

2. You've posted before in frustration (maybe borderline rage) at the behaviour of others and have been advised multilaterally to calm down and enjoy the ride. You accept the advice and then seem to revert to self-appointed moral guardian of the highway.

You've posted a nasty and potentially violent spat about a cut corner, only to have another of your own posts shown where you did the same thing in spades.

You've said in the past that you're calming down and then you post again to share your outrage (and slightly inflammatory comments) following what sounds a fairly innocuous non-incident.

This is beginning to look a little cyclical.

Really, most road users are courteous, skilled, aware and thoughtful. Most are not trying to kill you or find a new way to rile you.

Cycling is a wonderful thing, as you showed in your short film.

Take it from an old, grey codger who has seen fewer incidents in his life than you have recorded and posted: Calm down, celebrate the positive and throw the camera (and its replacement) into a skip.


----------



## Andrew_Culture (20 Nov 2012)

Boris Bajic said:


> Really, most road users are courteous, skilled, aware and thoughtful. Most are not trying to kill you or find a new way to rile you.
> 
> Cycling is a wonderful thing, as you showed in your short film.


 

Add these to that list of positive affirmations I wrote for you!


----------



## Linford (20 Nov 2012)

Sooo, anyway, myself and my mate decided to go for a beer in town after a hard day at work. Park up and the traffic is fairly heavy. My mate ducks across the road in a gap in the traffic, and I follow him over.
From nowhere, this kid on a cycle comes bombing along the road on the tail of a car and I have to move a bit sharpish to avoid us coming.together. I could live with that, but he then starts mouthing off, and taunting me.

Kids today have got no respect for their elders I tell ya.

Don't they know that I have as much right to cross the road as they have to ride on it.

The next thing I'll hear is that they have a medical condition which allows them to make excuses for their lack of manners. A good smack in the chops would have cured them of that 30 years ago instead of this shilly-shallying around to avoid hurting their 'feelings' !


----------



## roadrash (20 Nov 2012)

A good smack in the chops would have cured them of that 30 years ago instead of this shilly-shallying around to avoid hurting their 'feelings' !

have you never hurt anyones feelings then .......or are you in the same queue waiting for your smack in the chops


----------



## Linford (20 Nov 2012)

Naughty boys turn into naughty men when certain parts of society bends over backwards to remove the boundaries which everyone else is expected to adhere too.

Hold your finger over a lit match for 10 seconds - you will only ever do it once asbergers or not, a bit of pain soon modifies the behaviour. Nature has equipped us well to figure things out when it is applied.


----------



## roadrash (20 Nov 2012)

and it seems your cure for the downfall of society is to go round smacking people in the chops

hmmm perhaps its just me but i cant see that working ...do you also fight fire with fire


----------



## Archie_tect (20 Nov 2012)

As an elderly neighbour once said, "An eye for an eye and a cheek for a cheek"...


----------



## Linford (20 Nov 2012)

roadrash said:


> and it seems your cure for the downfall of society is to go round smacking people in the chops
> 
> hmmm perhaps its just me but i cant see that working ...do you also fight fire with fire


 
It has worked long before our society evolved, and will carry on working long after it has gone.

I'm always amazed how people feel that we are able to evolve above our genetic programming on a whim.


----------



## fossyant (20 Nov 2012)

As folk have said, the best thing is either keep quiet, or say something like "whooah". I've once or twice said 'nearly' then smiled when a ped has stepped out, but I've already stopped, and they poop themself as they realise they were nearly flattened. People make mistakes, and it is all road users duty to look out for others, including pedestrians.

It's the same as when I was crossing a main road with my dad, brother and BIL. Dad and BIL weren't too fast at crossing (dodgy knees and hip), and we hadn't quite made it over, when a guy goes tearing off from the lights and is screaming out of the window to move - I'd deliberately been at the back of the slow coaches. We just told him to do one, but he ended up with a right ear bending from his wife - we could hear it. 

Matthew you made the mistake at shouting at the pedestrian for a small mistake, and then stopping exasperated the situation. A slightly built 18 year old giving mouth to a middle aged bloke is not going to go down very well. I've yet to meet any teenager that doesn't think they are in the wrong. It's all "I am". It's quite funny, as you go through this over confidence in your teens, then get it knocked out of you when you start a proper job, then to build it back up again and be a little wiser.

You've also yet to get involved in a good crash with another road user. Jumping up and down ranting isn't a good idea.


----------



## Linford (20 Nov 2012)

fossyant said:


> As folk have said, the best thing is either keep quiet, or say something like "whooah". I've once or twice said 'nearly' then smiled when a ped has stepped out, but I've already stopped, and they poop themself as they realise they were nearly flattened. People make mistakes, and it is all road users duty to look out for others, including pedestrians.
> 
> It's the same as when I was crossing a main road with my dad, brother and BIL. Dad and BIL weren't too fast at crossing (dodgy knees and hip), and we hadn't quite made it over, when a guy goes tearing off from the lights and is screaming out of the window to move - I'd deliberately been at the back of the slow coaches. We just told him to do one, but he ended up with a right ear bending from his wife - we could hear it.
> 
> ...


 
Someone I know put this another way - 'Quick, employ a teenager whilst they still know everything'


----------



## Cyclopathic (20 Nov 2012)

Linford said:


> Naughty boys turn into naughty men when certain parts of society bends over backwards to remove the boundaries which everyone else is expected to adhere too.
> 
> Hold your finger over a lit match for 10 seconds - you will only ever do it once asbergers or not, a bit of pain soon modifies the behaviour. Nature has equipped us well to figure things out when it is applied.


Positive reenforcement is by far the best way to teach any animal including us to do anything with any degree of lasting success. If not they would train horses and sniffer dogs with a lit match. People are the same. Punishment doesn't work in the long term and is even less effective in humans because of our ability to reason. It offers no deeper understanding therfor results will be unreliable. That's what I reckon anyway.


----------



## Matthew_T (20 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> You heed to develop more insight into your condition:
> 
> *Personality* is the particular combination of emotional, attitudinal, and behavioral response patterns of an individual.
> 
> ...


Aspergers does affect your personality. It doesnt just influence the social side of things.

With me, I have a tendancy to be very agressive (moreso in primary school). It also means that I have strong emotions (get upset easily). It also affects my intelligence (the reason I think I am right).
With my brother (also Autistic) he is even more emotional than me and gets upset and annoyed that he cannot have his own way all the time. He dislikes change and has interests in TV and gadgets. He gets distracted very easily and has a very slim chance of doing well in life (I mean family wise). He needs a lot of encouragement to do things that he needs to do or doesnt have an interest in.

Autism does affect your personality and is not just affecting social interaction (I can happily socialise with strangers).


----------



## PK99 (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> Aspergers does affect your personality. It doesnt just influence the social side of things.
> 
> With me, I have a tendancy to be very agressive (moreso in primary school). It also means that I have strong emotions (get upset easily). It also affects my intelligence (the reason I think I am right).
> With my brother (also Autistic) he is even more emotional than me and gets upset and annoyed that he cannot have his own way all the time. He dislikes change and has interests in TV and gadgets. He gets distracted very easily and has a very slim chance of doing well in life (I mean family wise). He needs a lot of encouragement to do things that he needs to do or doesnt have an interest in.
> ...


 
Matthew, you really do seem confused; previously you made a clear separation and said:



> *Autism* might indirectly affect me (reading out numberplates and noticing more than the average person would), but it* doesnt affect the way I act* on the roads. *That is down to my personality*


_._


----------



## Matthew_T (20 Nov 2012)

PK99 said:


> Matthew, you really do seem confused; previously you made a clear separation


My first response was more specific to being on the roads. The second response is more general and just gives an insight into my life as a whole and how Autism affects me. The second quote is to clarify what I was quoting.


----------



## Hicky (20 Nov 2012)

I had a aspergers lad in my lab(2nd year uni physics masters) last year hence anyone who had contact with him had to do an awareness course on how best to handle his needs and such.
Academically superb, socially very blunt and unaware of the impact his behaviour had on others UNLESS told directly and discreetly(he struggled to pickup on social cues and body language, his record keeping and attention to detail was terrible also) .

As you've said how it has affected your personality, you must realise how YOUR personality is affecting your social interactions and not use it as an excuse for your actions of behaviour as I have said you'll end up in a situation you can't handle despite what you may think.

Dyslexia , can't read too good = get out clause for being lazy(a close friend has just passed a nursing degree, his dyslexia is severe....he simply has to read thing repeatedly for things to stick. )


----------



## fossyant (20 Nov 2012)

Aspergers aside, there is mucho TEEN year old attitudes here as well. The crap my nieces and nephews come out with, all similar ages ! 

Best course, don't say anything, then the 'other' person might apologise if they have made a mistake. It also stops you getting *wound up as it's really not good for stress and most importantly, it's distracting and can ruin a ride*. Let it go, and enjoy the bike. 

Think, folk haven't seen you, ease up near peds, and you'll have a much better ride.

Get rid of the camera and horn for a while. Way too much sh1te for sticking on a road bike anyway.


----------



## Silver Fox (20 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> With me, I have a tendancy to be very agressive (moreso in primary school). It also means that I have strong emotions (get upset easily). It also affects my intelligence (the reason I think I am right).


 
If you're unwilling to modify your behaviour Matthew, sooner or later you'll upset the wrong person and you *will* end up getting hurt. It's only a matter of time.

Nobody on here wants to see that and I'm sure we all have your best interests at heart but I fear it will take someone giving you a slap for the penny to drop.


----------



## Brandane (20 Nov 2012)

Silver Fox said:


> Nobody on here wants to see that and I'm sure we all have your best interests at heart but I fear it will take someone giving you a slap for the penny to drop.


 
Let's just hope for Matthews sake that it IS just a slap. You hear and read far too often of these trivial incidents resulting in the use of weapons to inflict serious injury. Or worse.


----------



## 400bhp (20 Nov 2012)

Hicky said:


> I had a aspergers lad in my lab(2nd year uni physics masters) last year hence anyone who had contact with him had to do an awareness course on how best to handle his needs and such.
> *Academically superb, socially very blunt and unaware of the impact his behaviour had on others* UNLESS told directly and discreetly(he struggled to pickup on social cues and body language, his record keeping and attention to detail was terrible also) .
> 
> As you've said how it has affected your personality, you must realise how YOUR personality is affecting your social interactions and not use it as an excuse for your actions of behaviour as I have said you'll end up in a situation you can't handle despite what you may think.
> ...


 
Oh, bollox. I think I have it.


----------



## Linford (20 Nov 2012)

Cyclopathic said:


> Positive reenforcement is by far the best way to teach any animal including us to do anything with any degree of lasting success. If not they would train horses and sniffer dogs with a lit match. People are the same. Punishment doesn't work in the long term and is even less effective in humans because of our ability to reason. It offers no deeper understanding therfor results will be unreliable. That's what I reckon anyway.


 
Weeeeeellllll, that depends on whether they think they can get away with something.

Take for instance horses, cattle, sheep, etc and electric fences.

Stick a horse in a field with a wooden post and rail fencing arrangement, and they will after a couple of hours/days start to test it by leaning on it until part of it breaks, or simply jump it.
Do the same thing with an electric fence tape or wire which is not turned on and they will first test it by either leaning on it or sniffing it, and if they figure it is not live, will just march straight through it - which is dangerous as it could get tangled around a leg and cut a tendon (which would result in them having to be put down).

One of our liveries is a big horse and he knows it - 650kg ish and roughly 17 hands. He has marched through 3 post and rail fences in the last month in the fields and just snapped them at the base (at our cost)
I had a fault with the electric fence energiser which meant that there was no voltage to the fence tape, and he just stepped through it. This was really bad because he would get into another pen with another gelding and they would start kicking six bells out of each other, and with all the fencing down on the floor, it all became a real danger to them which resulted in them all having to be kept in the stables for days on end, and then only out with very limited turnout in rotation - which also put the hay and bedding cost up as they have no access to grazing, and trash the space which is their box - and then make me have to do loads of trips more to get more in. 

I got the fence energiser mended last week, and he tried it on when put behind the fence tape, and then did a bit of a 'moonwalk' when he got a shock off it (really fkin scary when something that big starts charging around at 40 mph). He tested the fence half a dozen times in 5 minutes before he decided that it really wasn't worth it as they do give a big zap, and since then he has respected it and stays clear of the fence - peace and order is again restored, and he and the other horses get to stay out all day now 

You can only apply positive re enforcement when you are around to apply it. Whey they are left to their own devices, you need to ensure they respect the boundaries which you set up for them - or have very deep pockets.


----------



## Sandra6 (21 Nov 2012)

Andrew_Culture said:


> With five kids I think it's probably good for you to vent your frustrations, just peddle harder


 
It's six kids, I need to pedal even harder!!


----------



## Andrew_Culture (21 Nov 2012)

Sandra6 said:


> It's six kids, I need to pedal even harder!!


 
My hero!


----------



## Andrew_Culture (21 Nov 2012)

Linford said:


> I got the fence energiser mended last week, and he tried it on when put behind the fence tape, and then did a bit of a 'moonwalk' when he got a shock off it (really fkin scary when something that big starts charging around at 40 mph). He tested the fence half a dozen times in 5 minutes before he decided that it really wasn't worth it as they do give a big zap, and since then he has respected it and stays clear of the fence - peace and order is again restored, and he and the other horses get to stay out all day now


 

So Matt, what you need to remember from this post is that you must always check your electric fences are operating correctly, you can do so by any of the following methods:

grabbing a fistful of wet grass and lightly laying a few tips of the grass on the fence, if your hand sort of 'ticks and jolts' then the fence is live
listen to the fence, is it chit chit chitting? Don't get your ear too close to the fence, although it would answer your 'is it on' question pretty quickly
wee on the fence
lick the fence (but make sure you don't do this _after _weeing on the fence, unless you like that sort of thing, in which case wait till after dark so we don't have to see it)
ask a passer by to 'hold this for a moment please'


----------



## Scruffmonster (21 Nov 2012)

Matthew_T said:


> My first response was more specific to being on the roads. The second response is more general and just gives an insight into my life as a whole and how Autism affects me. The second quote is to clarify what I was quoting.


 
Matthew, I know everyone has a right to free speech and all that jazz, but half the time you really shouldn't say anything until you truly know what you speak about.

You say that you're autistic. I imagine this has been diagnosed medically, there have been tests and such.

Yet, how much do you really know about it? Maybe it's just not coming across very well here, but you don't seem to have grasped some of the very fundamental foundation points of the condition.

I strongly urge you to scoop up as many books as you can, there are many excellent ones out there, some wordy ones written by professionals, some amazing first hand experiences, there's a lot out there.

You need to round out your knowledge of yourself, probably more than the average 18 year old does. That sucks, but it's pretty essential.

You'll read things, some will make you think 'Damn, I'm glad that's not me'... other cases will make you think 'I wish it could be that simple for me'.... But what's essential is for you to LEARN.

All of that time you spend downloading, editing, uploading videos of you shouting at cars for coming a whisker too close to you... they could be spent reading, learning, looking at why those things happen to you.

Because the absolute truth is; Your character/personality is causing you to have far too many infractions with people in life and you're always pointing the finger outwards. You really need to learn yourself, admit blame, and start looking at long term prevention. Not on a case by case basis, reviewing 'evidence' with people on internet forums, but in real life. Keep a journal, write, read, talk to people.

It's no good seeking some weird kind of 'fame' with all this video nonsense, it's not solving any of your problems and you really need to realise that.

EDIT: Also, stop saying 'I know' at every juncture. You don't. And that's ok. That's how it's supposed to be.


----------



## Brandane (21 Nov 2012)

Matthew, please read this story on the BBC Scotland pages.

Not meaning to scare you (or maybe I am, hoping that you take on board the fact that there are nutters out there who don't stop to think about their actions), but this is an example of how a seemingly trivial incident can escalate. This all started just because someone took umbrage at another driver flashing their headlights at him because his fog lights were on. A really sad incident.


----------



## Crankarm (21 Nov 2012)

Brandane said:


> Matthew, please read this story on the BBC Scotland pages.
> 
> Not meaning to scare you (or maybe I am, hoping that you take on board the fact that there are nutters out there who don't stop to think about their actions), but this is an example of how a seemingly trivial incident can escalate. This all started just because someone took umbrage at another driver flashing their headlights at him because his fog lights were on. A really sad incident.


 
Stabbed to death with a fishing knife. Sobering stuff.


----------



## raindog (22 Nov 2012)

Brandane said:


> Matthew, please read this story on the BBC Scotland pages.


Christ alive, what a world.


----------



## 400bhp (22 Nov 2012)

Brandane said:


> Matthew, please read this story on the BBC Scotland pages.
> 
> Not meaning to scare you (or maybe I am, hoping that you take on board the fact that there are nutters out there who don't stop to think about their actions), but this is an example of how a seemingly trivial incident can escalate. This all started just because someone took umbrage at another driver flashing their headlights at him because his fog lights were on. A really sad incident.


 
I severely hope:


> One of the points raised by his lawyers was that a juror had been wearing a Help for Heroes wristband.


 
That this is taken out of context....


----------



## mattobrien (22 Nov 2012)

My thoughts for what they are worth, having read the thread are;

Matthew there is every chance that you are giving cyclists a bad name in the eyes of others that 'experience' you, without the ability or EQ to recognise it.

Clearly traffic, pedestrians or probably nearby wildlife don't mix well with you while you are on a bike. 

Have you thought about riding in non-confrontational places? i.e. with no-one else about - it might do your blood pressure a lot of good. Perhaps find an off road route, where you are are unlikely to find any walkers, so that that you can continue to ride without the conflict.

We have all been young at some point and I remember knowing everything, being right all the time and also a sense of invincibility, most of us haven't learnt and that stage has passed safely. I am now more conscious of what I don't know and also think about what I want to achieve from a situation. If getting into a fight is your goal, then you are on the right path. If it is enjoying your cycling safely and peacefully, then you may wish to look where you are headed. 

It has been said before, there are nutters out there who can take little provocation before taking extreme action, please do not become a statistic or the subject of the many 'another cyclist killed' threads that seem to be posted with such regularity on this site.

The other alternative is give up cycling all together. However if you do this, please do not get a car, you can travel further, faster and will be able to experience many more examples of bad road craft. I think it would cause your brain to overload with fury and anger.


----------



## green1 (22 Nov 2012)

fossyant said:


> Aspergers aside, there is mucho TEEN year old attitudes here as well. The crap my nieces and nephews come out with, all similar ages !


My dad always told me to go get a job while I still knew everything... He still does even though I'm 30 and already do have a job.


----------



## mattobrien (22 Nov 2012)

green1 said:


> My dad always told me to go get a job while I still knew everything... He still does even though I'm 30 and already do have a job.


 
The older I get, the less I know, I know. Not sure if that is wisdom or dementia


----------



## Graham (22 Nov 2012)

Andrew_Culture said:


> ask a passer by to 'hold *this* for a moment please'


 
Presumably you meant a _female_ passer by. Still don't see how that would test an electric fence though.


----------



## Andrew_Culture (1 Jan 2013)

Andrew_Culture said:


> I'm going to sum up my feelings on this thread by generating a series of simplistic sayings that probably won't help, I've written these just for you Matt:
> 
> Having strong opinions is a decent indicator of an interesting personality, but the ability to listen and change your own opinions is the true benchmark of intelligence.
> 
> ...




Matt, did you try this?


----------



## Matthew_T (1 Jan 2013)

Andrew_Culture said:


> Matt, did you try this?


I have chanced my attitude towards peds a lot since this thread. I might give the person who walk out and didnt even look an annoyed look but I dont shout at them.
I might say "be careful" or "watch the road" but nothing more, and I give them plenty of room and head around the back of them now.

I could have had an accident with two drunk peds who almost ran into my path last night but they saw me in time and I heard one of them say "is that a girl?" as I passed. I wasnt best pleased.


----------



## redcard (1 Jan 2013)

Matthew_T said:


> I could have had an accident with two drunk peds who almost ran into my path last night but they saw me in time..



Matt, comments like this give the impression the drunkards were lucky they escaped getting run over by you.


----------



## Matthew_T (1 Jan 2013)

redcard said:


> Matt, comments like this give the impression the drunkards were lucky they escaped getting run over by you.


A van in the opposite direction passed and they came from right behind it. At least they looked when they crossed though.
I was covering the brakes as I suspected someone might run out.


----------



## Crankarm (1 Jan 2013)

Matthew_T said:


> I have chanced my attitude towards peds a lot since this thread. I might give the person who walk out and didnt even look an annoyed look but I dont shout at them.
> I might say "be careful" or "watch the road" but nothing more, and I give them plenty of room and head around the back of them now.
> 
> I could have had an accident with two drunk peds who almost ran into my path last night but they saw me in time and I heard one of them say "is that a girl?" as I passed. I wasnt best pleased.


 
Why so confrontational as depends which girl they, or you, had in mind .


----------



## Andrew_Culture (1 Jan 2013)

Matthew_T said:


> I have chanced my attitude towards peds a lot since this thread. I might give the person who walk out and didnt even look an annoyed look but I dont shout at them.
> I might say "be careful" or "watch the road" but nothing more, and I give them plenty of room and head around the back of them now.
> 
> I could have had an accident with two drunk peds who almost ran into my path last night but they saw me in time and I heard one of them say "is that a girl?" as I passed. I wasnt best pleased.



Excellent! Roll it out to all other road users 

Do you feel more relaxed on your bike now?

In other news I've been looking for you on Strava, am I right in thinking you recently signed up?


----------



## Matthew_T (1 Jan 2013)

Andrew_Culture said:


> In other news I've been looking for you on Strava, am I right in thinking you recently signed up?


Yes, this is my first KOM: http://app.strava.com/activities/35144977#575032348


----------



## Andrew_Culture (1 Jan 2013)

Matthew_T said:


> Yes, this is my first KOM: http://app.strava.com/activities/35144977#575032348



Good stuff, pedal furiously for KOMs rather than furiously pedalling for PEDs 


I shall watch your progress with interest


----------



## redcard (4 Jan 2013)

Good luck Matt.

Is that your girlfriend in your profile pic?


----------



## wait4me (7 Jan 2013)

A few months ago I spent some time on Cycleways around Ferry Meadows Peterborough. After getting dirty looks from peds when I didn't ring my bell (yes sad but it is useful) and other times similar looks when I didn't. One time I slowed to speak to a Dad with pushchair for a chat and said about this dilema. Turned out he was a cyclist and said he had similar problems---Is it me, Peterboro' or peds?


----------



## Andrew_Culture (7 Jan 2013)

wait4me said:


> A few months ago I spent some time on Cycleways around Ferry Meadows Peterborough. After getting dirty looks from peds when I didn't ring my bell (yes sad but it is useful) and other times similar looks when I didn't. One time I slowed to speak to a Dad with pushchair for a chat and said about this dilema. Turned out he was a cyclist and said he had similar problems---Is it me, Peterboro' or peds?


 
I've tootled around said pathways and most folk seemed okay, although I did get some mufty looks when cycling up and down the tow path by the actual rowing lake. I tried to go cycling there again at Christmas but the entire site was under water!


----------



## HLaB (7 Jan 2013)

wait4me said:


> A few months ago I spent some time on Cycleways around Ferry Meadows Peterborough. After getting dirty looks from peds when I didn't ring my bell (yes sad but it is useful) and other times similar looks when I didn't. One time I slowed to speak to a Dad with pushchair for a chat and said about this dilema. Turned out he was a cyclist and said he had similar problems---Is it me, Peterboro' or peds?


 
Although I mostly stay on road, I do occasionally go along paths (the rowing lake path most often) and I have no problem with the Peterborough Peds. Although with some of the idiots on bikes (ninjas, footpath cyclists and aggressive cyclist, etc), I'm not surprised that some have negative images of cyclists; the Bridge Street petition is a typical example.



Andrew_Culture said:


> I've tootled around said pathways and most folk seemed okay, although I did get some mufty looks when cycling up and down the tow path by the actual rowing lake. I tried to go cycling there again at Christmas but the entire site was under water!


Its dried out for now


----------



## Dan B (7 Jan 2013)

mattobrien said:


> The older I get, the less I know, I know.


Same here. At the ripe old age of almost 40, I've even given up lecturing teenagers on their insistence that they know everything - for all I know, they might do


----------

