# I am an (almost) ex-cyclist....



## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

Back in August I lost the plot. Over a period of ten, or so, days I had a number of life-threatening encounters with angry men in cars. One of these is subject to an ongoing police investigation so I'll say no more other than I was assaulted and he got assaulted right back. One complete stranger on a bicycle over Dorking way took me out by undertaking when I was in primary and then swerving into me to avoid a pot hole. Physically he came off worse but my bike got trashed and he is being a dick about it.

A relatively trivial 'close encounter' with a motorist at the end of that month saw me throwing my bike into the hedge, literally, "OH FOR ****S SAKE!" stylee and sitting down on a kerb sobbing with rage and fear. I just want to get to work and home again not fight some ruddy road war.

I've tried to commute a couple of times since then but have faced panic and anxiety in unmanageable amounts within minutes of setting off. And have bailed as a result. My recreational riding is almost completely curtailed. I've tried off-roading but on Sunday my ride was ruined when I met up with Mr Shouty and his Shouty wife/partner on a local bridleway and was then, mere minutes later, nearly run off the road by a nobber in a 4x4. Sunday road rides in company leave me in a hot mess as I need a Falklands style exclusion zone around me.

What needs I do to get back on the horse?


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## Crackle (2 Dec 2013)

I wish I had an answer to hand but I don't. Time is normally the answer I find. No need to get back on too quickly. For some that works, for others, it doesn't. Do something else: Run?


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## Mile195 (2 Dec 2013)

Oh no - sorry to hear that. Don't let it get you down though... Sometimes it just goes like that. You have no incidents for months and months, then a run of bad experiences. That's just normal.

If I were in your position, perhaps you could go on a few "well-planned" recreation rides. By that I mean get out the TFL London Cycling maps, and plot some routes along cycle tracks, through parks and back streets, and do it on a quiet sunday morning when there's no-one else around just to get you going again.

Try not to take these incidents to heart too. I don't often have encounters that make me genuinely angry, but when I do, I spend 5 minutes imagining what I might do to their car if I found it parked somewhere dark, then I forget about it and move on with my day. Take consolation in the fact that if that's how those people drive all the time, eventually karma will get them - someone will take their wing out in a multi-storey or they'll have a catastrophic head gasket failure for putting their foot down too often, so you don't need to get upset about it instead.

If I were a more highly strung person then many things happen every day that might get my back up. But I tend to just take the attitude "We're all just trying to get somewhere", and think about something more pleasant. Sounds fluffy I know, but it works for me. Try and do the same thing to a certain extent, but whatever you do don't give up doing something you enjoy because of others!


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

Crackle said:


> I wish I had an answer to hand but I don't. Time is normally the answer I find. No need to get back on too quickly. For some that works, for others, it doesn't. Do something else: Run?


Yep, already running. I ran round Sydney the week before last. That was a blast.


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## threebikesmcginty (2 Dec 2013)

Quiet country roads on a Sunday morning will still attract nobbers but there'll be less of them, I find it my most enjoyable cycling. I'm never surprised by how inconsiderate and ridiculously stupid some motorists can be but I try not to let it wind me up.


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## rich p (2 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Yep, already running. I ran round Sydney the week before last. That was a blast.


 Is he still a fat bastard?


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## numbnuts (2 Dec 2013)

Don't let the b*****ds grind you down


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## Linford (2 Dec 2013)

What caused the altercation on the bridleway ?


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

Linford said:


> What caused the altercation on the bridleway ?


The three cyclists that passed them at high speed before me. "Your mates..." as Mr Shouty termed them.


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

threebikesmcginty said:


> Quiet country roads on a Sunday morning will still attract nobbers but there'll be less of them, I find it my most enjoyable cycling. I'm never surprised by how inconsiderate and ridiculously stupid some motorists can be but *I try not to let it wind me up*.


As do I. But when they have you off your bike I find it impossible not to become emotional.


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## HLaB (2 Dec 2013)

Doesn't sound good but don't let the b'stard take away the benefits to you in terms of health and wealth and the additional benefit of pleasure will soon come back.


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## Linford (2 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> The three cyclists that passed them at high speed before me. "Your mates..." as Mr Shouty termed them.



I've got to be honest, I'd be inclined to agree with them, state that they are no 'mates' of mine, and that not all cyclists are the same.
Pedestrians and horseriders have a right of way over cyclists on bridleways, and a cyclist must always give way to them (or in the very least slow right down when passing)


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

Linford said:


> I've got to be honest, I'd be inclined to agree with them, state that they are no 'mates' of mine, and that not all cyclists are the same.
> Pedestrians and horseriders have a right of way over cyclists on bridleways, and a cyclist must always give way to them (or in the very least slow right down when passing)



I'm with you. And the Shouty types had my sympathy until they got all shouty at me. Nobbers.


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## Tim Hall (2 Dec 2013)

Ah. Doing owt on Sunday? Fancy a ride and a natter? Beer optional.


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## threebikesmcginty (2 Dec 2013)

Tim Hall said:


> Ah. Doing owt on Sunday? Fancy a ride and a natter? Beer optional.



Optional?


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## Tim Hall (2 Dec 2013)

threebikesmcginty said:


> Optional?


It's a "no pressure" kind of a thing. Hopefully unlike our tyres. Ham Egg and Chips, otherwise known as the Food of Champions, on the other hand, tends towards the non-negotiable.


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## Maverick Goose (2 Dec 2013)

Optional? No way! Don't let them grind you down


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## vickster (2 Dec 2013)

Ride with others


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## Sara_H (2 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Back in August I lost the plot. Over a period of ten, or so, days I had a number of life-threatening encounters with angry men in cars. One of these is subject to an ongoing police investigation so I'll say no more other than I was assaulted and he got assaulted right back. One complete stranger on a bicycle over Dorking way took me out by undertaking when I was in primary and then swerving into me to avoid a pot hole. Physically he came off worse but my bike got trashed and he is being a dick about it.
> 
> A relatively trivial 'close encounter' with a motorist at the end of that month saw me throwing my bike into the hedge, literally, "OH FOR ****S SAKE!" stylee and sitting down on a kerb sobbing with rage and fear. I just want to get to work and home again not fight some ruddy road war.
> 
> ...



This isn't just about your riding, but your psychologica response to it. You're having panic attacks, which is basically natures way of telling you to GTF outta of here and is somewhat understandable. When I wrote my "utterley depressed" thread I was pretty close to having a Michael Douglas style Falling Down episode. 

Some recomend CBT, hypnotherapy or psycotherapy to help control the panic attacks.


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## michaelcycle (2 Dec 2013)

Sara_H said:


> Some recomend CBT, hypnotherapy or psycotherapy to help control the panic attacks.



A couple of sessions of CBT would do the trick I think.

You could of course just give it time and see if the issues play themselves out but I think you will get to where you want to be a lot quicker with some focused sessions. What you are experiencing goes beyond low level anxiety which many people have but that is understandable given the cluster of traumatic experiences you suffered within a short space of time.


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## glasgowcyclist (2 Dec 2013)

threebikesmcginty said:


> Optional?


 
According to Google Translate, "Beer optional" means "_You're buying_".

GC


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

vickster said:


> Ride with others


works great. until they ride into you.


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## vickster (2 Dec 2013)

Ride at the back  Surely if only one or two others this isn't an issue? Or perhaps wear hi viz so they can see you better


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## Gravity Aided (2 Dec 2013)

CBT would be good, perhaps, but so will some positive bicycling experiences. And horse folk, well, they are horse folk. I come from a really long line of them. I think the shouting is an ordinary level of conversation. That being said, I think they should be cognizant of the views and behavior of others. I realize that a horse can get very skittish around bicycles. But that is something for the horse and rider to work on, as well. And thinking that all cyclists the same, or all together, is just plain judgmental. Get out there and try some short, positive cycling experiences, and see what can come of it. Please.


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

vickster said:


> Ride at the back  Surely if only one or two others this isn't an issue?


I was riding on my own when I got taken out.


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

Gravity Aided said:


> CBT would be good, perhaps, but so will some positive bicycling experiences. And horse folk, well, they are horse folk. I come from a really long line of them. I think the shouting is an ordinary level of conversation. That being said, I think they should be cognizant of the views and behavior of others. I realize that a horse can get very skittish around bicycles. But that is something for the horse and rider to work on, as well. And thinking that all cyclists the same, or all together, is just plain judgmental. Get out there and try some short, positive cycling experiences, and see what can come of it. Please.


Team Shouty were on foot.


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## michaelcycle (2 Dec 2013)

Gravity Aided said:


> Get out there and try some short, positive cycling experiences, and see what can come of it. Please.



Yep, that would certainly be helpful - trying to mentally reconnect cycling with positive experiences rather than negative.


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## Andrew_Culture (2 Dec 2013)

Horrible isn't it. But by being willing to talk about it you're probably closer to feeling better than you realise.


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## Aperitif (2 Dec 2013)

I never ran into you, Greg - we were happy watching that insolent dunce blaspheme - or would have been had it not been for his children that time...
You can do it.
Tim will tell - if fact he'll tell you that on Sunday!
Change your user name. Lose the 'Grumpy' bit
Age can still be a number...just stop being a tart. 
I just ride a bit slower, and care a bit less...(but then I'm less delicate I suppose.)
And, CBT therapy always worked after rugby - you know that. 'Copious Beers Tonight'


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## GrumpyGregry (2 Dec 2013)

Andrew_Culture said:


> Horrible isn't it. But by being willing to talk about it you're probably closer to feeling better than you realise.


That's a really good point. For feelings of ?shame? or ?embarrassment? I've kept it to myself until last week.


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## Tim Hall (2 Dec 2013)

2800144 said:


> You need someone you trust well enough to allow reasonably close on the road. Then let your inner child go for a ride with them.


Either that or go on a tandem. What could possibly go wrong?


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## byegad (2 Dec 2013)

Seek professional help. You are describing the beginning of something I went through some years back, and you really don't want to complete _*that*_ journey! Seek help, seek it now and don't be fobbed off.


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## Frood42 (2 Dec 2013)

I don't really know what to suggest... 
I sometimes have thoughts about taking my d-lock to headlights and windows, I wouldn't actually do it mind... 

I guess what I would do is head to some canal tow paths and go for a slow pootle, I like to ride on my own, but that is me.
Perhaps you could find some friends and make a run on some pubs on the bike 


I haven't had anyone shout at me while on the Lee Valley Way on the canal tow path...
Expect once, it is the only small tarmaced section for cars, and is narrow, which means its a pain for both walkers and cyclists when cars come down there. 
A chap in a white van called me a "self-gratification artist" because I held my line and refused to be barged into the gutter by him...

Everyone else was either very nice, or said thanks, but in the colder weather I think you tend to get the more sensible people out on the paths.

When I did come up to people walking in the middle of the tow path chatting I did make a little game out of it.
I would see how close and quietly I could ride behind them and for how long I could do so, got quite good at it, and of course when they did finally see me they were quite apologetic, which of course made me smile as they didn't really need to apologise.

Other people I just said "Afternoon" to and they would let me by.
.


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## Aperitif (2 Dec 2013)

Tim Hall said:


> Either that or go on a tandem. What could possibly go wrong?


 Sorry, made me smile, Tim.


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## Leodis (2 Dec 2013)

> What needs I do to get back on the horse?



Turbo Trainer + YouPorn =


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## Crackle (2 Dec 2013)

Sara_H said:


> This isn't just about your riding, but your psychologica response to it.* You're having panic attacks*, which is basically natures way of telling you to GTF outta of here and is somewhat understandable. When I wrote my "utterley depressed" thread I was pretty close to having a Michael Douglas style Falling Down episode.
> 
> Some recomend CBT, hypnotherapy or psycotherapy to help control the panic attacks.



It's that. And there's no point forcing yourself through it, it won't work. You need a strategy, provided by yourself or someone else but you need one.


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## Trickedem (2 Dec 2013)

@GrumpyGregry Sorry to hear this, but glad that you are able to talk about it. I hope you get back in the saddle, as it has always been delightful to ride with you. I can't offer any advice, other than you should listen to the wise. Best wishes.


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## Wobblers (2 Dec 2013)

Sorry to hear about this Greg. The FNRttC just hasn't been the same without you. All I can suggest is going out late at night - there's no buggers around at one in the morning, you just need to worry about the suicidal rabbits! Crackle and Sara_H both talk sense: get yourself a strategy and get professional help if you need it.


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## coffeejo (2 Dec 2013)

+1 to all the comments about it not being about cycling but your reactions. You can't control how others will behave but you can learn to change your own behavioural patterns so that the bad stuff doesn't leave you in such a state. 

Or at least that's what everyone tells me. 

I thought of you and this thread as I was cycling back from town this afternoon. A nobber on a motorbike rode beside me, yelling abuse and gesticulating so that I could still understand him even though his words were muffled by his helmet and the wind. Then a lorry did a punishment pass, horn blaring throughout. I was ready to sit and cry. Then the road narrowed - car coming the opposite direction, huge 4x4 behind me. I groaned, and waited for the inevitable, checking the side of the road immediately ahead of me to work out just how close I could get the bike to the verge without falling into the ditch, and never mind how appropriate that would be. I braced myself ... and nothing happened. The approaching car passed: the 4x4 had slowed and remained behind me before passing slow and wide, smiling and giving me a massive thumbs up as he passed, only speeding up once he was fully clear. A timely reminder that it's not all [insert rude word here].


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## Markymark (2 Dec 2013)

I sometimes do a quick survey of passing cars in London on my commute. Doesn't take long as it's so busy!

Anyway, +1 for good/safe overtake, 0 for acceptable overtake, -1 for bad overtake. The result is always positive. The trouble is that 1 good overtake does not make up for one dangerous overtake which is potentially dangerous, but do try and keep it in perspective. I also find that soem that seem bad aren't always as bad as you might think at the time when the heart is pumping.

Ride definsively and you'll also find that the result is even higher.


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## Pale Rider (2 Dec 2013)

Trickedem said:


> @GrumpyGregry as it has always been delightful to ride with you. .



Greg, 

You clearly have cycling skills and cycling chums.

Combine both and go for a ride with your mates.


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## Banjo (2 Dec 2013)

If you have reached the stage of sitting on the curb with head in hands I think maybe all this stress is not just coming from cycling.

If your allready stressed out then things you would normally not worry about can affect you out of all proportion.

None of my business but if you are suffering from stress speak to GP for referral to help.

Good Luck Greg


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## growingvegetables (2 Dec 2013)

Going for early morning rides? I mean EARLY morning - between 1 and 4. Especially good and calming on a clear, starlit, moon-free night.


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## Andrew_P (2 Dec 2013)

as per Banjo really it could be cumulative stress that is surfacing with the close encounters and bullies in 2t of metal bring it out in big bursts, but if it really is purely the cycling causing the anxiety and panic, exposure in small gradual controlled doses is the key, bit difficult on a commute in rush hour to get the small dose though, so maybe a few Sunday rides picking a route with a mix of roads and traffic conditions.


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## Andrew_P (2 Dec 2013)

Scratch the Sunday bit, they are the worst drivers!


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## srw (2 Dec 2013)

Likewise to the best wishes - you were missed over the summer. And to the comments about multiple sources of stress - start by counting the non-cycling related sources, even those you don't necessarily associate as stressors.

When you get the mojo back we'll take you round the back roads of Buckinghamshire - with gears, this time.


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## Flying Dodo (2 Dec 2013)

It's odd. Tonight cycling home from work I felt rather uneasy. I knew both my rear lights were a bit dim, but cars weren't any closer than normal. Events in London reel around your head though. Is it fear of fear? Who knows? 

I hope you do get out on the road again Greg - get whatever help you think might work.


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## Shut Up Legs (2 Dec 2013)

vickster said:


> Ride with others


I was going through the thread, and planning to post the above if nobody else had . When you're riding with others, you'll have more safety in numbers, not to mention the encouragement and moral support that your fellow cyclists can give you.


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## Pat "5mph" (3 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> That's a really good point. For feelings of ?shame? or ?embarrassment? I've kept it to myself until last week.


While I emphasize with your difficulties - never completely free of the "fear of traffic" myself - I am also glad you posted the OP, having been made out to be a wimp on the roads a few times by fellow cyclists.
You will be ok with a little help from your friends, try again when you feel ready


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## Gravity Aided (3 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Team Shouty were on foot.


Well, then, no excuse for that sort of behavior from pedestrians. Riding with others is always a cure for me. My sister gave up riding for many of the same reasons you state. Please do not let it be the same for you. I do not pretend to have the first idea what your situation requires. It seems like you have come to the right place, and talking about these problems, among people who care about you, is a good first step.


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## markharry66 (3 Dec 2013)

Take a break until after christmas. Think about what you want to do forget cycling for three weeks wait till you miss it and get right out there again in New Year.


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## The Central Scrutinizer (3 Dec 2013)

another +1 for what banjo said.


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## HLaB (3 Dec 2013)

Leodis said:


> Turbo Trainer + YouPorn =


OT, at my last place a colleague was tellin me YouTube was blocked but YouPorn wasn't; how did he discover that


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## Leodis (3 Dec 2013)

HLaB said:


> OT, at my last place a colleague was tellin me YouTube was blocked but YouPorn wasn't; how did he discover that



Turbo trainer session?


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## HLaB (3 Dec 2013)

Leodis said:


> Turbo trainer session?


So thats why the 1st floor office stank of sweat


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## Gravity Aided (3 Dec 2013)

And popcorn.


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## Andrew_P (3 Dec 2013)

Back on topic, I feel safest on wide roads where traffic on the whole can pass without a problem, the last three miles on the way in are on country lanes where two cars + bike won't fit and that's where I feel least comfortable. So maybe quiet lanes is not the answer, maybe pick some nice and wide roads where mostly you can cycle without the concern of someone hanging off your rear wheel waiting for a passing point?


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## mickle (3 Dec 2013)

Kill them. Kill them all.


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## GrumpyGregry (3 Dec 2013)

Lots of help and encouragement for which I am extremely grateful. Thank you one and all.

Cycle commuting used to be my great stress outlet. Having it become a source of "OMG I'm gonna die - thud" type-stress itself, and giving rise to a severe case of "I'm gonna chuffin' kill you" road raging wvm fisticuffs* - it was self-defence m'lud - and thus having it bite me on the psychic bum has been an 'interesting' experience to say the least.

The answer is, of course, to start to talk about the problem and, at some point, get back on the bike.

* @Aperitif may recall a certain road on a certain FNRttC. Twas the very same spot!


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## GrumpyGregry (3 Dec 2013)

mickle said:


> Kill them. Kill them all.


That does seem to be the local drivers' plan vis a vis cyclists certainly.


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## Aperitif (3 Dec 2013)

I saw nothing, your honour. 
And you'll be fine - ride a bit slower, and a bit wider.
"Hey!" Christmas is coming - eat, drink and be Mary - that should help.
Cheers, Greg.


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## GrumpyGregry (3 Dec 2013)

User13710 said:


> I was going to suggest something similar. Instead of your commute being a 'stress-buster', leave home earlier and potter along keeping your speed down to, say, 11-12 mph. Even do the route on that bike I gave you for Helen . You won't get the adrenaline rush that sparked your panic, hopefully. Good luck Greg.


If I do my commute on the bike you gave me for the lovely Helen I'll end up with borked knees! However, doing it on (one of) my singlespeed bikes or on the Brompton pootle-style could be an answer.


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## Maverick Goose (4 Dec 2013)

Eye of the tiger GG, eye of the tiger...


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## Tim Hall (4 Dec 2013)

mickle said:


> Kill them. Kill them all.


Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius


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## fossyant (4 Dec 2013)

Get some big eff off lights GG. Then everyone runs.


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## Gravity Aided (5 Dec 2013)

Tim Hall said:


> Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius


Isn't that for the Cathars ?


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## GrumpyGregry (6 Dec 2013)

fossyant said:


> Get some big eff off lights GG. * Then everyone runs.*


Then everyone runs into the back of you anyway and says "Sorry mate I didn't see you." Strange. But true. ime.


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## GrumpyGregry (6 Dec 2013)

Anyway, egged on by @User13710 in another place, I dragged a slow bicycle out of the shed y'day and went, kitted out in civvies, for a short ride around and about the historic market town of da 'sham. For an hour or so whilst the lovely Helen was having a swim at the local baths.

I did have an up close and personal encounter with the passenger side of a 4x4 after which, at the lights, I stared straight ahead and pretended I couldn't understand what she was saying. But it seemed to revolve around her suggestion that I should not ride on the road but on the "track".

I didn't die tis true. But I think in saying that I may be setting the bar too low. Thobut.

Let's see what Sunday morning holds...


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## mcshroom (6 Dec 2013)

If you fancy trying a change of scenery, you'd be welcome to come up here and drop me on a few lakeland passes


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## coffeejo (6 Dec 2013)

A counsellor friend told me last winter that I should imagine that when I'm zipping up my jacket, putting on my gloves etc, what I'm also doing is sealing myself against the outside world and that as long as my feet are on the pedals, there's a forcefield around me, keeping out all the negative stuff coming from other people. In time of stress, visualise tightening up the zip, keeping feet firmly on the pedals, putting all your weight on your sit bones etc to make sure the forcefield stays intact. And if you're a fan of arcade games, also visualise the bad stuff bouncing off the forcefield.

Corny, yes, but it has worked for me in the past. Must use it more often.


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## GrumpyGregry (6 Dec 2013)

mcshroom said:


> If you fancy trying a change of scenery, you'd be welcome to come up here and drop me on a few lakeland passes


I will remember "that day" in Scotland with you and Titus as long as I live


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## Tim Hall (6 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Anyway, egged on by @User13710 in another place, I dragged a slow bicycle out of the shed y'day and went, kitted out in civvies, for a short ride around and about the historic market town of da 'sham. For an hour or so whilst the lovely Helen was having a swim at the local baths.
> 
> I did have an up close and personal encounter with the passenger side of a 4x4 after which, at the lights, I stared straight ahead and pretended I couldn't understand what she was saying. But it seemed to revolve around her suggestion that I should not ride on the road but on the "track".
> 
> ...



A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Or short pootle, if going by bike. Obv.

Can also provide help with getting the bar to the right height - this is easier if you have a quill stem mind.


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## Brandane (6 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Back in August I lost the plot. Over a period of ten, or so, days I had a number of life-threatening encounters with angry men in cars. One of these is subject to an ongoing police investigation so I'll say no more other than I was assaulted and he got assaulted right back. One complete stranger on a bicycle over Dorking way took me out by undertaking when I was in primary and then swerving into me to avoid a pot hole. Physically he came off worse but my bike got trashed and he is being a dick about it.
> 
> A relatively trivial 'close encounter' with a motorist at the end of that month saw me throwing my bike into the hedge, literally, "OH FOR ****S SAKE!" stylee and sitting down on a kerb sobbing with rage and fear. I just want to get to work and home again not fight some ruddy road war.
> 
> ...



Sorry to hear that, Grumpy one. I know we haven't always read from the same hymn sheet on this here forum, but I do hope you manage to overcome your cycling demons and once again reap the pleasures that cycling brings. I have lost my cycling mojo in the past, which I know is not the same thing, but always found that all it took was one good ride on the bike to find all those good feelings coming back. I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks brought on by a wholly different situation, so I can sympathise with just how bad it has become for you. Good luck with getting back on track!


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## GrumpyGregry (7 Dec 2013)

Brandane said:


> Sorry to hear that, Grumpy one. I know we haven't always read from the same hymn sheet on this here forum, but I do hope you manage to overcome your cycling demons and once again reap the pleasures that cycling brings. I have lost my cycling mojo in the past, which I know is not the same thing, but always found that all it took was one good ride on the bike to find all those good feelings coming back. I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks brought on by a wholly different situation, so I can sympathise with just how bad it has become for you. Good luck with getting back on track!


Means a lot mate, thanks.


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## GrumpyGregry (8 Dec 2013)

Thank you @Tim Hall for a lovely Sunday morning ride today.


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## Andrew_P (8 Dec 2013)

I am having nervy time at the moment since my off, lost a fair bit of confidence which is reflecting a bit in my rides I keep having to force myself out of the gutter. Strange really as my off didn't involve anyone else. That Tuesday morning I had a run in with a WVM which culminated with him hitting my bike from behind, I am not sure if it is a hangover from this or that as it is my right shoulder that hurts and in someway I am keeping too far left to be out of the way of traffic to try and shield myself. Without a doubt I am way to passive in my positioning at the moment, and I am in look over shoulder overdrive as well!

I only mention this as maybe your feeling is affecting your riding style too.

Anyway big day tomorrow, going to be my first commute in 9 weeks, only ridden 10 milers up to now.


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## srw (8 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Thank you @Tim Hall for a lovely Sunday morning ride today.



Time to change the thread title?


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## Tim Hall (8 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Thank you @Tim Hall for a lovely Sunday morning ride today.


We had a lovely time. Rode mostly on lanes, with the odd bit of A road. Had a buzzard flying along in front of us, in a "tree tunnel". Talked of cabbages and kings.

Minimal motorist numptiness, nice weather, average roads. It's all good.


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## Banjo (8 Dec 2013)

Glad to read your enjoying your cycling again Greg.

A bit off topic but I have a strategy for dealing with work stress.

At the entrance to the compound there's a disused security mans box. If someone or something has pi££ed me off at work then as I cycle past it on the way out I imagine leaving that problem in the box to be picked up on way in to next shift.

This means I can't fret about work stuff at home and sometimes the problem isn't in the box when I get back. Laugh if u like but it works for me.


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## GrumpyGregry (9 Dec 2013)

It was a very nice ride and the buzzard and his mate were spectacular. The trick appeared to be to keep talking to Tim, or focusing on his back wheel, as that took my mind off, on occasions, the rising tide of panic and anxiety that welled up a few times en route, generally linked to the proximity of motor vehicles to my person.

And, just for the record like, the road surface on the A24 DC southbound side just north of the Capel roundabout appears to be made of glue.

I've come to the conclusion, after talking to a healthcare pro over the last week, that some of the anxiety stuff is probably some sort of reaction to the emotions provoked by the Aged P's illness earlier this year and by the need to interact with a family member I'm normally estranged from as a result. You think you've worked through your st1t and then other sh1t happens and you find out you haven't, you've just buried 1t!


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## Andrew_P (9 Dec 2013)

GrumpyGregry said:


> It was a very nice ride and the buzzard and his mate were spectacular. The trick appeared to be to keep talking to Tim, or focusing on his back wheel, as that took my mind off, on occasions, the rising tide of panic and anxiety that welled up a few times en route, generally linked to the proximity of motor vehicles to my person.
> 
> And, just for the record like, the road surface on the A24 DC southbound side just north of the Capel roundabout appears to be made of glue.
> 
> I've come to the conclusion, after talking to a healthcare pro over the last week, that some of the anxiety stuff is probably some sort of reaction to the emotions provoked by the Aged P's illness earlier this year and by the need to interact with a family member I'm normally estranged from as a result. You think you've worked through your st1t and then other sh1t happens and you find out you haven't, you've just buried 1t!


Its amazing what flushes to the surface when you least expect it.

I made it this morning which I am chuffed about, and luckily for me the addiction is still present, hope your mojo returns fully and quickly


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## GrumpyGregry (8 Jan 2014)

I rode to work this morning.


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## Pat "5mph" (8 Jan 2014)

GrumpyGregry said:


> I rode to work this morning.



Once a cyclist, always a cyclist.


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## Scoosh (8 Jan 2014)

Will he ride home again - or is he doomed to remain at work ???


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## GrumpyGregry (8 Jan 2014)

Scoosh said:


> Will he ride home again???


Yes. On a fixed gear with gearing for August legs not January ones.  

Could be "interesting". 

Getting off and pushing will be allowed.


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## ComedyPilot (8 Jan 2014)

OP - book a short cycling holiday to the Netherlands.

Don't mention it....all part of the service.


Or get your arse up to Yorkshire for Le Tour


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## GrumpyGregry (8 Jan 2014)

User13710 said:


> No getting off in that flamboyant show-offy way again though.


I am working on flamboyant but controlled over the handlebar dismounts.


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## 400bhp (8 Jan 2014)

Good to see you are back on it


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## Gravity Aided (9 Jan 2014)

Well done, glad you are back on the bike. Hope no other st1t happens.


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## cd365 (9 Jan 2014)

GrumpyGregry said:


> Back in August I lost the plot. Over a period of ten, or so, days I had a number of life-threatening encounters with angry men in cars. One of these is subject to an ongoing police investigation so I'll say no more other than I was assaulted and he got assaulted right back.


He didn't get assaulted back, you defended yourself which is your legal right. I just hope you managed to defend yourself harder than he assaulted you!


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