# A tale of two fish (with added cycling)



## Pat "5mph" (11 Aug 2012)

Will you look after my plants and my fish, while I’m away? Don’t know when I’ll be back, fish will be fine, tank needs cleaned, don’t worry about it, I’ve left them for a month at the time before. Just feed them, every day if you can, or you can get slow release fish food that does a few days.
Bye! Bring you back Cypriot sausages!

The flat with the fish is a few miles away from mine. Gonzales and I take the mission on our stride. Up the hill, down the hill, after work, on our way to the shops, we go feed the fish.
We share our home with Boris, Maurine, Frankie and BigCat: stands to reason we do not know much about fish. That water looks really murky, though.



Gonzales

Dirty tank.

Morning, fishy fishy, are you hungry? I don’t believe I’m getting attached to goldfish! Blurb, blurb, they say, we are coming up for a breath of fresh air.
Oh, God! One has died, poor little orange creature, belly up, eyes glossed over.
I am a fish murderer!

To be continued ....


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## deptfordmarmoset (11 Aug 2012)

I think one of them may have followed through!


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## Pat "5mph" (11 Aug 2012)

What do you do when you need help faster than even google can provide? You phone a friend, of course.
A tank cleaning, fish rescue expedition is quickly organized. It’s a lovely sunny day, Gonzales is swift in taking me, while I wait for my friend to arrive at the bus stop I pop into a local supermarket to purchase a bike work stand I had my eyes on since before I suffocated little Blurpy.

Not sure if I still deserve this bargain, will my punishment come in form of a snapped chain?
As I sit down near the bus stop, on a trunked stone post, amidst floating crisp packets, vaguely philosophizing about life and death in the marine world, my crime comes to hunt me in the shape of two uniformed chaps that step out of a periscope equipped vehicle marked “community safety”.
Got fined £ 50.00 on the spot for littering the ground with a cigarette butt: sadness was clouding my reason, pretty sure I misspelled my details.
Amidst cries of “fish abuse”, “what a smelly, slimy mess this is”, “let’s have another coffee”, “look at the body of the Olympic rowing team”, the job is done.
We do need to purchase a new water filter, also a new Mr. Blurpy, we set out for the local pet shop. 
On passing the LBS, my non cycling friend admires an electric Daweson. While I’m explaining the difference between 26x 1.95 Marathons and 700x23 Gatorskins, a scream pierces the still air: “NOOO, Don’t, don’t ... don’t buy a bike!”
A random, never seen before in our lives, slightly inebriated unkempt male is warning us not to buy a bike, least tragedy should befall.
It took us a long time, we managed to convince him we were actually on our way to buy a fish.

Four pet shops and a 6 miles walk to town, we got all we needed to complete the mission, some tank vegetation too, the thing was like a house without furniture!
We could not separate a cute little fishy duo in the pet shop: I will have to tell the absent tank owner that his fish made a baby.

.... To be continued ....


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## Pat "5mph" (11 Aug 2012)

All is well, this is how the story ends, you may think.
Yes, more or less. Remember Gonzales? He still has an important part to play in this tale.

Next day, him and I set out again to check on the fish.
The weather had turned for the worse, black clouds hovering above: suddenly, thunder, lighting, the road is a river flowing against us.
Gonzales agreed that we could not let the fish suffer hunger pains, indeed he almost started to swim towards our destination. We looked like we both went through a car wash, it was the most fun we had in a long time!
While checking on our finned friends and discovering that the tumble drier in the flat was not working, Gonzales needed a quick adjustment to his back brakes, as they had developed a slight rubbing on the wheel after the wet journey.
So, this is it, all is well what ends well: the rain eased off a bit, Gonzales and I make our way home ... me wearing borrowed clothing several sizes too large!
The End 


A clean tank with happy fish.


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## deptfordmarmoset (11 Aug 2012)

A tail with a happy ending!


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## MrJamie (11 Aug 2012)

It looks like a swamp in the first photo


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## Mad Doug Biker (11 Aug 2012)

Bloody hell Pat, now I know why you were surprised when you saw my tank!

Wiggo and Plec are shocked (now now, its ok fish!).


Really, if you want me to come along and help you then I'd be happy too! (I wasn't THAT bad when you met me was I?).


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